Audition!

by HavelssVampir

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 3409

Pinkie Pie auditions for the kick-plot part of...well, Pinkie Pie!

You are a big shot director for a coming big film, a film including the character of Pinkie Pie! And who other than should come and audition for it?

Chapter one written as an attempt to get on the Starswirl Academy crew, and the second as the EQAD speed-fic prompt No. 3 with a sixty-nine minutes time limit.

Published 2012-08-12 11:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-12 11:24:01 UTC

Audition!

Audition!

You take the final sip of your cappuccino before throwing the Styrofoam cup into the nearest trash can. If caffeine didn’t exist, you couldn’t possibly maintain this busy schedule without passing out. Which means that anyone auditioning for the part today should most certainly be able to run on pure life, or all the time, in other words. You reach the end of the drab hall, all browns and tans, to turn the knob into a room a similar if not same scheme. Taking your seat between your two advisory staff, you’re handed a copy of the script so you may reference it as the actors play for the part.

“Alright!” You exclaim with mock enthusiasm, “Let’s get star-OOF! “, you haven’t even begun work and the day is already worse, what a drag, you solemnly think to yourself. That was even before you registered the fact that you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Your eyes shoot open, they closed out of reflex when you hit the ground, or you think the ground anyway, and immediately pink obscures your vision, and that’s when the real fun starts…

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! Have we met before? Because I know everyone in Ponyville, wait, that’s right! You’re out from Canterlot looking for actors for your next big shot film! That’s why I’m here, Pinkamena Diane Pie, party thrower extraordinaire, to take the part of…well, Pinkie Pie! Omigosh, we’re gonna’ have so much fun! We’ll all be acting like people who we’re not, and it’ll be funny because we’ll be completely out of character! Or, out of person? What do you call what you’re normally like, a character or a person? Anyway, and then we’ll put in all the special effects like the explosions and aliens and dragons, even though none of those are in this movie because it’s a romance but there’ll still be effects! Then, after all the play is over we’ll have the real fun when I throw a The-Movie’s-Finished-And-Will-Be-Out-In-Theaters-Soon-And-We-Should-All-Get-Really-Drunk-Party party! Would it be alright if I invited all of my friends over to that? Well, not all of them because everyone’s my friend, I mean just Twilight and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy and Dashie! Also I tend to get real friendly when I’m drunk so you’d have to watch my back and make sure I don’t do anything stupid, got that /co/mrade? Also are you feeling all right?”

By now your face was flushed purple from lack of oxygen, Pinkie’s center of weight being directly on your chest making it extremely difficult to breathe. How does a girl that heavy stay that thin, and why couldn’t you just use carbon dioxide as efficiently?

“Can’t…breathe…” you triumphantly muster before with your final reserves of air before going limp beneath Pinkie.

You awaken to the soft, firm and pleasant feel of something perfectly encompassing your lips, while at the same time you feel a warm stream of air being pushed down into your lungs, which the push feeling being completely unnatural for you, you cough up to it, so happening to release the pleasant feel from your lips as well.

“See!” you can faintly make out on the edge of your hearing “I told you I could do it! You thought we were irresponsible for not calling an ambulance, but I told you I knew CPR and I did! I’m responsible you know, I can take care of my own mistakes!”

In light of that new information, you connect the dots and barely manage to suppress your gag reflex. That annoying pink blur of energy not only saved your life, but practically kissed you too?! The restraint of release must have been audible, because you were shortly (rather immediately) after confronted by another onslaught of that high-pitched ear acid.

“Wake up sleepy-head! It’s time for my audition, isn’t it?” She then bounced, not walked but bounced her way over the center of the room, where she should’ve been all along. You readjust your chair to proper, upright position and face your option for actor, whom is still hopping on the tips of her toes. What a nut-job, you mutter to yourself internally.

“Alright, well since you’re so insistent, show me what you got!” this time, with little actual interest. You were going to fun seeing how poorly she would do, I mean, going of tangents like she did?! No chance at memorizing a role!

“Show you what I have?” The girl questioned, tossing her pink pigtails to the side as she tilts her head sideways and strokes her chin in deep thought.

“Oh!” She exclaimed before a short fit of giggles, “Of course, I’ll show you everything I brought with me!” Then, Pinkie pulled a hot pink back pack, as is out of thin air, or maybe a pocket dimension. However, before you could question where, when, why and how you found a delicious pastry confection hastily shoved into your mouth.

“Cupcake! Pie! Cellphone! Ball, in case of ball emergency and a back pack!” The listed items had found themselves haphazardly stacked in front of your seat. You manage to swallow the offending cupcake after nearly suffocating for the second time today.

“Wait! Clothes count too don’t they? Sandals!” The pink-haired genki girl executed an extravagant backflip and the foot wear found their way onto the top of the pile.

“Shirt!” And with that a pink t-shirt found itself to be draped over your face, which you swiftly brush out of your eyes as to prevent obstruction from viewing what you predict to happen. Seconds turn into minutes as you ready yourself, prepared to end the next action before it is finished. Pinkie’s hands drift slowly towards her mammillary glands as her mouth opens, millimeter by millimeter pronouncing the next article of clothing to be thrown.

“Bra!” Drawn out ever so slowly as her fingers grasp the clip in between her breasts.

“WAIT!” You shout at the top of your lungs, freezing her in position as she waits for you to voice your concerns. Success is the only coherent thought you can process after that ordeal.

“What I meant was, could you show us the character of Pinkie Pie, so that we can know that you can do it? So please, could you get this rubbish back in your bag and put your shit back on?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” The miscellaneous items were unceremoniously scooped back into the bag, sandals included, and the shirt torn away from your head, thrown towards the sky (or ceiling) to be let to fall right back onto shoulders.

Suddenly you feel a tight grip around your left shoulder and a cushion of sorts on your right.

“Hiya! I’m Pinkie Pie and I love to make sure all of my friends have a huge smile on their face all the time!” The majority of that last sentence was exhaled directly into your right ear.

“I remember everything about everyone one and a whole bunch of other stuff! Like how I was supposed to be here to audition today! A lot of my friends like to say that I don’t remember any events or gatherings on my own, but uh, well…just don’t believe em’!” She said, backing up and pointing a finger in scorn towards you. It was only for emphasis however, because you soon embraced again and escorted over to a door adjacent to the one you entered, the door being slightly ajar. You could only describe Pinkie’s actions as curt, which was extremely queer given the definition of the word.

“See? Here is a great example of my memory!” There was a long line of other pink haired girls, all nearly uniform in how close they all were to twins. Some probably actually were twins, a lot of them.

“This is Pinks, she loves to wear her sweet shades!”

“How’s it goin’?”

“Diane can be kind of sad time to time, well, most of the time.”

“Hey…”

“Here is Pink-Pie, she can make sick tunes to match Vinyl Scratch!”

“Sup’?”

“And this is Pinkamena; she tends to be real grumpy.”

“Grr…”

Pinkie Pie rambled on about the many doppelgangers personalities as a thought managed to creep into your witty and intelligent (or you think so at least) brain, you had a person named Pinkie Pie, going for the part of Pinkie Pie. What kind of bent-plot fourth wall is in play here?!

“Does that really matter; we should just get this interview over with right. That said, you weren’t even paying attention!”

“Yeah I guess you’re right…GAH! How did you know what I was thinking?”

“Pinkie Pie supposed to be able to bend the fourth wall right? I’d saw that’s a pretty warped concept right there, as well as my change in sentence structure and vocabulary to describe that.”

She’s living up to Pinkie’s character without flaw!, but what do you know, it’s not like you made the character.

“Well, if we’re going to finish up then we should go back inside the auditioning room, yeah? It wouldn’t be right if I picked you all on my own. Come on then, get a move on!” Then with sudden frisk, you feel the need to slap Pinkie’s butt to get her going. You have no idea what possessed you to do that and neither do you of the outcome for she eyes like a sultry maiden on the way back in.

You move in yourself and take your seat to see Pinkie sitting quite tame in a chair opposite to you, a pair of reading glasses over her eyes and script in firm grip. But, her script is not the script for the film…

“You don’t mind if I act lines from the show do you? I mean, it’s not like a different character or anything right?”

“Um, yeah sure, if you’ll feel more comfortable that way.” You say, still enthralled by minor confusion. However the woman to your right, whose name you’re drawin’ a blank on, seems to be enthralled by boredom as she blows an obnoxious raspberry.

Pinkie wastes no time in picking up on this and rushes over to her side, slamming her elbow on the table with considerable while leaning close into the comfort zone the woman.

“Did it hurt?” Pinkie said as smooth and hard-boiled as possible.

“Um…” The woman said, her voice wavering with discomfort, “Did what hurt?”

“Why, when you fell out of heaven of course!” Pinkie exclaimed, a smirk spread wide across her features.

The woman’s cheeks flushed considerably, “Excuse me?”

“I must ask, is there a rainbow today? Because I’ve just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!”

The woman was a bit light-hearted if you could remember correctly, strange you’d remember that over a name. Anyway, she couldn’t take anymore of Pinkie’s ’onslaught’.

“Please excuse me I have to uh…go to the restroom! Yeah, the restroom!” With that she rushed out the door.

You sat completely flabbergasted, staring at a (at the very least) bi-sexual Pinkie Pie.

“What was that all about?!” You practically scream. Again, not entirely sure why you’re acting with such conviction today.

“You saw how she was bored right? Well, not only did I brighten’ her day a little by flirting a bit, but I boosted her self-esteem too! Anything for my friends!” She ended off, a large dopey grin in place of the sly smirk.

“You know, you look a little down in the dumps too…a nice song should do!”

The very thought of a musical number makes you cringe.

“Actually Pinkie I’d rather you no-“

“You’re the best-est director, whoopee, whoopee!”

“Pinkie-“

“Filming the biggest, coolest, all around best movie, movie!”

“Pinkie-“

“And I bet that if I made you really cheery, cheery!”

“Pinkie-“

“That you’d give the part of Pinkie Pie in the movie to me!”

”PINKIE!!!”

“Yeah?” Pinkie questioned, oblivious and innocent to the pain she had just caused you.

“Come. Here.” You say deathly serious, glaring holes into Pinkie own eye sockets. She comes close and sits and the desk, the room is quiet with anticipation for the next set of events. Pinkie leans in closer still, inching ever so slowly towards your ear, till she finally reaches her destination. You can hear her breathing; feel the heat of each breath, in and out, when then to break the silence she whispers…

“Did I get the part?”

“Ugh!” You slam your head on the table three times in quick succession before rubbing the migraine out of your temples. She did fit the part to the tee but first, can you deal with that level of nuisance on a daily? And second, what are the extensions of that fourth wall disregard she displayed earlier? You haven’t forever to weigh the options….

“You…we’ll think about it.”

You, for the second time today are unsure in any consequence that your action may yield, but Pinkie must have been awfully sure of herself, because she immediately slumped after you said that.

“You’ll…think about?” She says her voice weak and filled with despair.

“As in, I might not get the part?”

“Yes.” You answer, you’ll have no more silly antics so you must keep firm.

“And I might not get to make a whole bunch of new actor buddies?”

“Some of them aren’t exactly ’friendly’ anyhow.”

“And there might not be a The-Movie’s-Finished-And-Will-Be-Out-In-Theaters-Soon-And-We-Should-All-Get-Really-Drunk-Party party?”

“Yes, you are a great choice-“She perks up a bit “but there may be someone better out in that hall and I intend to find who if there is one.” You are fairly certain that her vibrant pink hair just dulled a shade.

“You’ll…call me then?” Pinkie has clearly lost hope by this point, as she makes no effort to keep a cheery appearance.

“If you get the part, yes.”

“Okay…”

Pinkie Pie grabs her bag and slowly walks towards the exit. The room now has a damper feel around it and you’re certain not only is Pinkie’s hair, but everything around has gone down a few shades. You start to feel bad for Pinkie, she’s really downed about this whole thing. It’s not your fault you can’t stand the energetically insufferable…alright maybe just a little, but still!

“See you soon!” You shout after her, in a n attempt to brighten her day as she had a yours, to return the favor sort of speak.

She didn’t even turn to acknowledge you on the way out.

Audition! Pt. 2 (Clop)

Audition! Pt.2

Pinkie Pie slowly turned the knob to the room that she and Twilight had shared for the extent of this trip to Manehattan, which begs the question why she bothered to tell the director that she knew everyone in Ponyville, which was completely irrelevant here. Either way, it may have been all for naught since she might not get the part of Pinkie Pie. She sullenly stumbled into the hotel suite and collapsed onto the bed, allowing herself to brood in the grief that she had felt over her disappointing audition. She’d also taken much longer than needed when getting back home for it had been roughly ten A.M. when she had left and was now well past sunset.

Twilight was sitting in a chair reading contently when Pinkie had, much to her surprise, calmly walked in a fell to bed. She quickly noticed the off shades in her girlfriend’s hair and knew something was wrong. She set the bookmark in place, got up out of her chair, and went to lay in bed next to her lover.

“What’s the matter Pinkie? Did something happen on the way home?” Twilight cooed in a caring, even mistakenly maternal tone.

“Huu…I don’t want to talk about it.” Pinkie whispered voice still ripe with disparity as she turned away from Twilight.

“Pinkie, don’t be stubborn! Let me help you, not as a good friend, but your girlfriend okay? You should be able to tell me anything right?” Twilight gripped Pinkie shoulders, as she was now lying on her side, and began to give them a vigorous massage.

“I…I might not have gotten the part…” Pinkie voice now dreary and dead, she’d just confessed to facts she was trying to suppress the entire day. But she didn’t have long to be chill and cold…

Twilight had enveloped her partner in her warm embrace, arms wrapped tight around her, hand maybe caressing Pinkie’s breast a little too.

“I know how much that meant to you, and I’m really sorry that they didn’t pick you right off the spot. You practiced months for that role, I was there with you when you did it! But don’t cry yet Pinkie, I have just the thing to get your spirits up.”

“Really? What?” But instead of an answer, all Pinkie got was a blinding flash of magic. She was about to ask one of many possible questions, but Twilight simply hushed her up and reached down for her nether region to caress her fine, pink…cock?!

Pinkie jumped back into Twilight at the feel of having her new device stroked, she was fascinated and scared all the same, how had that magnificent tool gotten there?

“I learned some new spells just for us last month, the magic archives aren’t just full of growth magic and teleportation calculations you know. I wanted to save them for a special occasion, or to cheer you up. But with you here it’s still special isn’t it?”

Pinkie remained dumbfounded and speechless, not to mention trapped by the velvet touch of Twilights strokes, a bit of pre-cum already forming on the tip of her dick and wetting a small dot of her panties. That simply would not do however, as Twilight stood up off of the bed and coaxed the still greyed Pinkie into an upright siting position from where she pulled of her panties and tossed them across the room. This allowed for Pinkie member to stand fully erect and Twilight basked in the glory that was unicorn magic.

Twilight hovered close to the tip of Pinkie’s penis, being sure that she got wind of her hot breathing. This sensation sent chills down Pinkie’s spin and served to increase her libido and pull her ever so slightly out of her funk. She proceeded to swivel her tongue around the tip of the magic meat a few times over, before quite suddenly plunging the whole thing deep down her throat. Up and down she bobbed, even though she had no experience with stallions what so ever, Rarity would have been proud of Twilight’s performance, not too slow or too fast.

Pinkie on the other hand, could barely control herself. As each muscle of her love’s throat constricted around her member, as her tongue twisted and turned around the long shaft of which it had to work. The wet warmth and soft muscle around the temporary and because of such, extrasensory nerves was the definition of bliss, heaven on earth. Or Equestria, whatever suites you fancy. Anyway, such pleasure is so simply divine that you simply crave more, and more is what Pinkie wanted.

She stood up off the bed, positioning herself so that her crotch was directly in front of Twilights face and began to thrust. She honestly hadn’t the slightest idea what she was doing, she simply allowed instinct to take over as she worked, and so did Twilight. Twilight could hear the faint moans of contentment as her mate thrusted deep inside her mouth, anything to make her friends happy was Pinkie’s motto, and she could spare the same.

Pinkie could feel herself reaching climax as the muscles of her meat drew tighter and tighter. She pumped mercilessly into her dear friends throat and released hot streams of spunk and a relieved sigh, hair perking back up to its original bright pink before promptly passing out on the bed.

Pinkie awoke to the sound of ringing, wrapped again in the embrace of her love. The pestering ring was her cellphone, but she was in no particular hurry to answer. She stood to find that her hardware had vanished and she again had Mother Nature’s gift to be proud of instead. She barely managed to stumble over to her back pack, where her phone had been left yesterday, to answer it on the final ring before voice mail.

“Hello…?”Pinkie inquired, dream stasis still having quite the hold despite it being high noon.

“Hello Pinkie, you have the part.”

The celebratory festivities were worthy of legend.