Spike would do anything for his beloved Rarity. In his mind he has saved her from perils great and small a thousand times over, riding to the rescue atop some horse (there are plenty to choose from) with sword and pistol by his side. His chin is mighty, his muscles rippled, and his smoldering look the stuff of legend.

One day he gets the call - his Venus in white needs him, and only his help will do. He's off at a run to save the day, but what awaits him is a challenge like none he has ever before faced. Will his masculinity stand up to the sheer audacious might of Rarity's newly inspired line for stallions? Somepony didn't get the memo, and with an exasperated Twilight in tow, Colossal Spike has to set things right.

Or maybe he should just go the hell home and steal some more Playmare magazines from under Starlight's bed. He might be better off.

(Note: This story is rated mature for adult humor and innuendo. Note that this story takes place before Spike got his wings.)