Twilight Sparkle and the Rock Monster
Leave blank for auto-named chapter
One night at like 11 PM, Twilight Sparker grabed a book off her bookshelf and put it in her VCR. It was her favorite movie, Pony Terminator 2, and she sat down with a plate of poped corn and was ready to have her Movie Night for the night.
“SPIKE!” Twilight screamed at the house. “Do you wanna watch movie?!”
But Spike did not answer. Twilights ears hurt from spike not-answering so loudly, so she went to go find him and figure out what was goin on. “Spiiike where ARE YOU?” she said. “ANSWER ME, SPIKE SPARKLE”
Finally twilight found where Spikes room was and went inside. Spike was there on the floor and he had he earbuds in listening to the album “Weezer” by some band I cant remember the name of
“Spike what ar you doing?” said Twilight “You cannot listen to music all day, you will hurt your eyes!”
Spike take out his earbuds and said “Yeah well im bored! I have no frieneds so I have nothing to do all day exept listen to the music Detective jakkid166 told me about.”
“Damn son!” said Twilight. “You right, you are a lonely dragon with no friends exept for me and the rest of the elements of harmon. Dont worry spike I will find a friend for you!” and she went to the window and open the curtains and the sun light shine through and got on spikes eyes and he was mad.
“Dammit Twilight,” said Spike wiping the sunlight off his eyes. “Okay but this time dont order it off Amazon!”
“Fine,” said Twilight and she went back to her booked shelf looking for a book on how to find a book on how to create life like Dr. Frankencelery from Veggietales.
“I got it!” said Twilight and she found a book. It was the kind of book with words in it
“Dammit this is just a dictionary!” said Twilight. “Wait since I dont have any books on how to create life I got a idea.”
And cause the dictionary has all the words in it, Twilight just read all the words in the order they would be in a book on how to create life. And so she now gained the knowlidge on how to make an alive being!
“Exellent!” said Twilight. “I might be comiting crime againt humanity and maybe get executed but its all worth it to make spike happey.” so she went down into her secret basement that only her and everyone else know about and got to work.
“First,” said Twilight “I needa something to make this guy out of.” and she look around at all the materials she had lyin around like Wood and Rocks and Flesh.
“Rocks!” said Twilight “Good idea, me.” and she put all the rocks on her table in shape of a person who was not in shape. He was actualy kinda fat looking
“Great now for the other step.” she said and she grab some Elmers Fudd Glue and glue the rock man together and then began the magical spell.
“Rockus Lifus Elmerglutiusmaximus!” said Twilight and her horn opened and FIRED the spell out of it all over the rock man. The universe SHAKED and rock guy sat up on the table. He tried to talk words but he couldnt because he had no mouth and musted scream.
“Crap sorry,” said Twilight and she grab her gun and shot the rock man in the face to make a hole where he cold talk out of.
“Phew thanks,” said the rock guy. “Wait who are you?”
“I am Twilight Sparkle, and you are my slave.”
“Oh sweet.” said rock guy. “What do I do?”
“I need youto go upstairs and be friends with spike!” said Twilight.
“Yeah cool I can do that. Does he do fun things?”
“I dunno I think he likes Backgammon.”
“Oh sweet!” and he jump off the table and thumber up the stairs.
“Another porblem solved by the pricess of Friendship!” said Twilight.
~ LATER TIME ~
“Go fish!” said Spike. He and the rock guy who spike named “Rocko” were playing checkers
“Dammit,” said Rocko and he drew a checker from the deck.
“Do you have any reds?” said Spike.
“Nope,” said Rocko, because he was the Black side. “Go fish.”
“This game sucks” said Spike. “I wanna do something else!”
“Okay like what?” said Rocko. “We cold listen to rock music. Thats my favorite kind of music for some reason.”
“Not rightnow,” said Spike “Lets go out and do stuff.”
so they went out and got in Rocko’s Rock Car that twilgiht made for him. “Twilight says I gotta take this to the rock mechanics later to get a rock oil change. But we can do that later, what you wanna do now?”
“I wannago see a movie!” said Spike. “I havent been able to watch a movie in a LONG time.”
so Rocko FLOORED IT, but cause his brain was made of rocks he didnt know how to drive very well. He drove on the sidewalk instead of the driving street but he only hit like 2 ponies so it was fine. Finally he pulled up in front of the bank
“You idiot,” said Spike “This is the bank, not the theeter!”
“Oh oops.” said Rocko. “Well my rock car is out of rock gas, so we mighte as well go in anyway.”
so they went inside and the bank teller pony said “Hello sirs can I help you?”
“Yeah we’d like to watch a movie,” said Spike.
“Okay sure which one?”
“Attak of the 50 foot rock monster!”
so the Bank Teller gave them a ticket and said “Ok it is in theater room number 13.” so Spike and Rocko went to the theater and sat down and pressed play on the DVD player.
But while the movies was playing, Rocko got confuse. “Wait, why is rock monster killing ponies and stuff?”
“Because hes the bad guy,” said Spike. “Because hes a rock monster.”
“But Im a rock monster and I dont kill ponies usually!”
“Its just a movie Rocko calm your shit.”
“NO!” shouted rocko but the other theater watchers shushed him so he sit down.
~ AFTER THE MOVIE ~
Rocko was walkin out the theater with spike and some pony saw them and said “OH FUCK ITS THE ROCK MONSTER! HES GONNA SMASH US!” and every single pony in Ponyville starte screaming and running around and panicking.
“God DAMMIT!” said Rocko “I cannot live like this!”
“Who give a shit,” said Spike. “Lets go back home.”
“No,” said Rocko “I have had it!”
“What”
“I am done taking you shit, Spike! I wil not take this racism, and you called me idiot earlier, you are a BAD friend and a GOOD enemy!”
“Aw shit,” said Spike “You are right! I am sorry Rocko.”
“Sorry is not ENOUGH!” said Rocko. “The WORLD is not enough! We shoulda seen that movie instead! And if the ponies ar gonna treat me like bad guy, im gonna be one!” and so Rocko started goin around SMASHING the theater bank to bits
“Aw hell!” said Spike. “I gotta go get Twilight!”
so Spike stole Rockos car and drove back to Twilights house. He broke in through the window of Twilights bedroom and said “TWILIGHT”
“Jesus christ what is it Spike I am busy!” said Twilight who was not doing anything.
“Rocko turned bad and hes destroying Ponyville now.”
“What the hell its been like 5 minutes!” said Twilight. “Dammit now this realy is like Frankenstein! Okay Spike you stay here I wil go get the other girls and we will fight Rocko and beat him.”
so Twilight went to Fluttershy’s house and broke down her door. “Fluttershy come with me if you want to live!”
“Shit okay!” said Fluttershy
Then she went to Rarity’s house and said “Rarity stop doing whatever you job is! We need you!”
then to Rainbow Dash’s. “Stop being Rainbow Dash and help us!”
“Pinkie Pie stop listening to David Bowie even though his music is really good!”
“Applejack get you tractor and drive us there!”
“Twilight Sparkle, go find Twilight Sparkle!”
and soon the whole gang was together, and they had grabbed the elemets of harmony. “Wait a minute,” said Pinkie “Why couldent we just get Detective jakkid166 to do this?”
“Because hes in prison for murder remember?” said Twilight.
“Oh yeah.”
“ROCKO!” Twilight shouted. But she acidentally shout it at Rainbow Dash instead of Rocko which made Rainbow angry and said “My name isnt Rocko you idiot!”
“Shit sorry, I meant the other Rocko.”
“Yeah wel Im mad now so I dont want to help anymore!” said Rainbow.
“WHAT?” said Twilight. “You idiot we need you fo the elements!”
“Too bad”
“Dammit Rainbow Dash quit being Rainbow Dumbassh and help us”
"HEY!" said Fluttershy "stop fucking saying swear words you idiots! Im gonna angry eyes at you"
and they all started arguing a bunch at each other and they were distacted so Rocko snuck up behind them and had the PERFECT OPORTUNITY.
“Hey guys im behind you just letting you know,” said Rocko.
“Wait what” they said. “Oh cool thanks for teling us. If you didnt telll us that you coulda killed us and we would have lost.”
“Wait REALLY?” said Rocko “God DAMMIT! Okay well lets still fight.”
so Twilight first attack was throwing a rock at Rocko but it just became part of him cause he is made of rocks, so he got biger. So Fluttershy made sure to use different attack. She threw a rock at Rocko and the same thing happened
“Shit doing that only makes it worse!” said Twilight “That mus mean we have to do it more.”
so they threw LOTS of rocks at Rocko and he became REALLY big almost the size of a really big spider. “Fools” said Rocko. “You have make me stronger! I am going to kill Ponyville now.”
“But why?” said Twilight “We do nothing wrong!”
“Yeah well slavery is wrong!” said Rocko.
“Oh right. That was just the one time though”
“Too bad” said Rocko and he aim his Rock Lasers at the Pony Gang. “So long suckers. See you in Rock Heaven”
“Wasnt there something we brought with us right now that we could have used?” said Rarity.
“What” said Twilight. “Oh right the elements.” so she held up a mug of the elements and said “Rocko you leaving me no choice.” and so they all FIRED the elements at Rocko and he got turn to stone.
“OH NOOOOOOOOOO, im being TURNED to STONE!” said Rocko.
wait
“Hold on a second!” said Rocko. “I am already stone! That doesent fucking do anything!”
“Aw shit,” said Fluttershy. “What now?”
but it turn out it was al a distraction. While they was using the elements, Rainbow went to Rocko and put a bunch of C4 on his legs. But since Rainbow was next to Rocko there was side effect of her also getting turn to stone.
“Dammit” said Twilight and she grab Rainbow Statue and put her to the side. “We’ll fix her later probably. Meanwhile” she said and she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number to blow up the C4.
Rocko’s legs rang, and he said “Who is it?” but then they BLEW up and he was knock onto his front.
“DAMMIT!” said Rocko. “I hav been beaten!”
“Thats what you get for being an idiot!” said Twilight and she went to him and spanked him on the rock butt for being bad.
“OW okay IM sorry I will be good from now on!” said Rocko.
“Well that was stupid,” said Applejack “How did you even get a rock person anyway?”
“Just ilegal experiments, its not that bad.”
“Dammit Twilight you break the law?” said Rarity. “This is new low for you, and when you beat the rock villain by spanking him on the butt.”
“Yeah,” said Twilight. “I guess I really hit rock bottom.”
