Perennial Problems

Hundreds......thousands......maybe millions of roses painted a large, beautiful valley. I didn't know where I was, nor did It matter. I was in heaven, as far as I was concerned.

I was standing on a multi colored rose bathed hill standing by a brook of cerulean blue water. The sky was the same color, and was just as peaceful. All I could do was watch in awe.

On the other side of the brook was a rose that stood out from the others. It was of a vibrant color that I hadn't recognized.
A color that probably wasn't part of the original light spectrum. A color so beautiful, it is impossible to explain.

I wanted it. Bad.

I tried to slowly walk down the hill, but since there were roses everywhere, I stepped on one. The pain was intense. I've stepped on rose thorns before, but this felt like stepping into large thumbtacks.

To make it worse, I tripped on a rock and began rolling down the hill. It was like I had gotten very intimate with a porcupine. There was no relief when I fell into the brook. The water was unfathomably cold.

I was able to climb out of the freezing steam and make it to land. There I saw the rose. All of my pain had dissipated and the sight of the rose gave me butterflies. As if I were looking at someone I fell in love with. I even began to speak to the rose.

"H-hello..." I stammered.

"Wake up."

I did a double take. The rose talked to me. This was the best thing that could ever happen!
I was so shocked to have found a talking rose, that I had forgotten what it had said.

"Could you repeat that, beautiful?" I was able to say with much more confidence and with a genuine tone.

"WAKE UP"

Within a split second, I blinked my eyes and as they opened, the beautiful valley had turned into the interior of a carriage with street lights flooding through the windows. My beautiful rose was no longer there. It was all a dream.

"Oh, good! She's awake!"

I turned my head to see who could have said that, I heard the voice some place before.
To my utter surprise, I found myself next to Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria. Her Beautiful mane flowed like the rays of the sun, bright and warm. I was shocked. What was I doing in a carriage with the Princess?

"Your highness?"
I tried to usher a bow, but it came up a clumsy, drunken stumble in place.

"Easy there," The princess neighed. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"What am I doing here?" I mumbled.

"Well you see, SOMEPONY wasn't being careful and hit you while you were crossing the street..."

A loud 'Hmph' came from the front of the carriage in objection.

"I brought you inside the carriage and we took a route to the doctor. I tried to wake you up by poking you with my hoof, but realized that my jewelery was rather sharp at the ends and didn't realize I was jabbing you with it. Then I tried to splash some water on you. Eventually you came to, and here we are."

The story I was given explained a lot about the dream, but I was disappointed a little about not receiving my awesome rose.

"Oh!" I just realized,"Have you seen my friend Daisy? She'll freeze to death out there."

"The lovely young mare with the green mane? Oh well, She was dropped off a few minutes ago. She was a little too drunk to keep in this carriage, so we dropped her off at the prison to rest."

"Prison?" I asked, worried.

"Well, yes. She's not in any trouble, but the prison has a place for people who are too drunk to know where they live. They sleep there for the night, then somepony comes to bring them back home." She was talking to me as If I were a foul.

"Oh..."

"So, now that you're okay, we can take the route back to your home. Where do you live?"

"I don't remember. A pineapple under the sea I s'pose"

"....Alright,"

My drunken mistake made the Princess tell the stallions who were pulling the carriage to head for the Ponyville prison.

"You know, I've been meaning to talk to you and the other two about your hard work with flowers. But as it seems, I can't really talk to you, so I guess I could pick you and your friend up from the prison tomorrow after you've sobered up."

"Oh, okay. Thanks a bunch." I said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up the next morning on a cold, hard bed in a dim lit grey cell with a heavy head ache. I remembered most of what happened the night before, so I assumed I was in prison with a hangover.

My cell consisted of one bared window, a bed without blankets and a barred door the size of any ordinary door. Though the door, I cold see an older stallion walking down a hall with a similar color scheme to my cell. He came to my door.

"You awake?" He asked, slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, I'm awa-"

"Alright, then get out."

The stallion with a black coat and a chalk colored mane opened the door and yanked me out of the cell. He ushered me into a room with 6 other mares. One of which was Daisy, and she looked like she was in an unpleasant mood.

The room was slightly smaller and darker than my cell and had no windows. It did, however, have a mirror that I quickly thought to be a two-way mirror. This thought was confirmed once the stallion left the room and I heard a door open somewhere else. He was in the room behind the mirror.

"ALRIGHT..."

My ears rang, and so did everypony else's. A very loud intercom was speaking to us above our heads. All the mares in the room began to whine and cry from the pain. We all sounded sick, but knew we all were just hungover.

"THIS IS A SOBRIETY TEST. YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE UNTIL YOU CAN PASS IT."

That message was followed by more whining that I contributed too.

"THE FIRST PART OF THE TEST IS TO CLOSE YOUR LEFT EYE, PUT YOUR RIGHT FORE LEG UP AND LEFT REAR LEG BACK."

Nopony did anything. We were all too dazed. The loud voice wasn't empathetic enough to understand that, so it repeated itself, but louder and more stern.

"CLOSE YOUR LEFT EYE, PUT YOUR RIGHT FORE LEG UP AND LEFT REAR LEG BACK!"

We didn't want to hear the voice again so we complied. I put my fore leg up and rear leg back. I almost forgot to close my left eye, but a kind young mare winked at me to do so.

"VERY GOOD. NEXT PART OF THE TEST IS TO STAND ON YOUR HIND HOOVES FOR 5 SECONDS"

This command left my ears ringing. I watched everypony else follow the command, but as I attempted it, the ringing in my ears caused me to lose balance and I toppled over onto the mare next to me. We all fell like dominoes. It was painful.

"YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE."

The voice was losing patience. I tried again and I was able to do it. It took a lot out of me, however.

"THE FINAL PART OF THE TEST IS FOR YOU ALL TO LINE YOURSELVES UP IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY NAME. FEEL FREE TO COMMUNICATE, YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE"

"This is bull-crap!" I heard somepony exclaim.
I nodded in agreement.

"TIME STARTS NOW."

We all exchanged worried and confused looks. I walked over to the young mare who reminded me to close my eye earlier.

"My name's Rose, what's yours?"

"Apple Strudely." She said in a tired southern accent.

"Okay, nice to meet you." I said.

"You too..."

I ended up at the end of the line, and just waited for the remaining 13 seconds to pass.

"ALRIGHTY THEN.." The door was opened by another stallion. "YOU MAY EXIT THE BUILDING. IN THE FUTURE BE MORE CAREFUL."

We all left the dark room quickly.

I darted toward the exit where I saw a crowd of ponies. They all had their heads bowed.

"Oh, there she is! Miss RoseLuck, come here."