A Picture Worth More Than A Thousand Words
Photo Memory
A Picture Worth More Than A Thousand Words
By: Darkevony
"Scootaloo... I..." My voice shook harder than it ever had. Everyone is looking my direction now. Should it matter? No. The only one that matters... the only one that I should be looking at is her. "I... well I wanted to say something important... uh... to you." It doesn't matter if I turn around to look and see if no one is watching, they're all already looking my way. I have to remember, it doesn't matter. I can't afford to be nervous. I have to do this.
"And that would be...?" She says. It's nice to hear her voice. Look forward me, she is expecting an answer. Act serious, you buffoon. You are making a clown of yourself. This isn't about dignity, it isn't about what others think of you. What matters now is what you say next. What you say to her. All of this will soon seem like nothing, but what you say to her and what she replies with is what will stay with you forever. Straighten up, put on a serious face, and say it with what little pride you own. Give her what piece of your mind you still have left. "Um... hello? Featherweight...? Why do you look so serious? What are you trying to tell me?"
"Scootaloo, I... I really like you."
~~~
"You... what...?" Never thought she'd have such a small and fragile voice. Her face flushed in a deep red. "You little liar! Who set you up to this?! If you were thinking about embarrassing me, think again!" A deep red of anger. The laughter from everyone else at her reaction erupted almost immediately. It felt like an eternity until it finally died down enough to continue talking...
"Yeah, leave her alone! She never did anything to you. Go away, jerk!" Her friends said in unison after they had shooed the spectators away. Hesitantly, I turned around and without turning back, I walked away. Something tells me I had seriously messed up and needed to make myself scarce.
"Aw, come on, Scootaloo. He was being serious! Just like your tomboyish self to refuse." I dared not even stop to look back, but that was Tiara's voice. The usual snottiness within her tone unmistakable.
"So it was you who set him up to humiliate Scootaloo!" Cracked Sweetie Belle's voice.
"Hey, don't look at me. It never even crossed my mind to get Featherweight to do something like THAT. I always thought he'd chicken out." The snickering and arguments grew faint as I put distance between us.
I eventually sought out refuge under a large oak tree not too far from the playground. It didn't matter where I went. All that mattered was when that bell would ring, and I would have to face her again. Had I done something wrong? I made her angry. Does she hate me now? Did she hate me before all of that even went down? It was all I could really think about. It was all I really had left.
Those thoughts plagued me and I wished for them to go away. It wasn't until a small squirrel suddenly approached me that my mind finally wandered. It appeared out of the hole in the middle of the oak tree and took its place on my head. It did the trick at least. I looked around where I was and took in the scenery. It sure was nice. The patterns in between the leaves, the nice squirrel that kept running around me, tickling me with its scattering. It was a wonderful moment in time. A nice memory. One that I would like to keep. Not like the one where I make the pony I like angry at me...
"Hey, Featherweight! What are you up to?" Two colts said, giving me a jump as they appeared out of nowhere. I looked at them blankly for a second or two until they replied with, "It's us. Your buddies, Snips and Snails!"
"Hi guys."
"Dude, that was totally awesome. Never thought I'd see Scootaloo so angry before. You really had her going there." Snails bumped my shoulder and laughed along with Snails.
"Yeah, you should have seen the look on her face when Tiara started teasing her. I thought she was going to explode!" Snips followed up.
"I, uhm... yeah..." I wasn't sure what to say...
"Anyways, we'll see you around. Later today we should meet up and think up of ways to annoy those three again! It'll be fun, trust me." Snips suggested.
"Eh? Ah, sure..."
"See you there." Before they left, they made a strange awful noise to the squirrel beside me and scared it off.
I had forgotten that my camera dangled around my neck, but only as I stumbled forward trying to chase after the squirrel did I notice it. The squirrel returned to me after a while. I began to take pictures of it and the scene before me. My hobby I guess. I like taking pictures. It captures the moments, the memories.
Then the dreaded moment finally arrived. The school bell rang, and the squirrel bolted back into its nest. Still, I walked back to the school feeling satisfied. Although the memory of what happened still remained, it didn't bother me as much. I had a new photo. At least something good came out of today. Unfortunately, it looked like it would not end at just that.
Entering back into the classroom, everyone turned their gazes at me. Everyone except Scootaloo who I only briefly saw through the corner of my eyes. She was looking away from me. It didn't matter if anyone else made fun of me or scrutinized me. I didn't care about it anymore. I don't have the luxury to care about it. But thinking that Scootaloo would think that way too, hurt.
"Nice of you to join us, Featherweight. I was beginning to wonder where you had gone off to." Miss Cheerilee had been waiting. I was the last one in.
"Sorry, ma'am. I was just taking some photos." I replied.
"Well that's good! Now that everyone is here we can begin class." Everyone moaned at the thought, including Scootaloo. "Don't worry, today, school ends early. You all need all the time on your hooves for this next assignment! It's good that you were taking pictures Featherweight, because our next project is a photo album and it'll be in pairs!" Everyone cheered for it enthusiastically. Anything to get out of school early was worth praise for them. For me, well... it was more of a curse. Less time to be able to see her...
"Alright, settle down everypony. I have to tell you what to do before you all run off." She gave almost everyone a smile. I say almost everyone because it felt like that smile meant something different for me. "You all have to make a scrapbook by next week that should include pictures or some sort of items to detail what sort of achievements you accomplished or good times you had within the week or in the past! A collaboration of memories that you would like to place in it and share. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?"
Everyone seemed to think of it that way too. There was excitement splattered on everyone's faces. Including Scootaloo.
"Does it really have to be partners of two?" Applebloom raised her hoof to ask the question without waiting to be called on.
"I did say pairs, so yes. Partners of two." The Crusaders bemoaned this response. They were famous for being a mischievous trio, so it was no real shocker that they were sorely disappointed. "Now, choose a partner that you will know that you can collaborate with well!"
I waited in my seat silently as everyone shuffled about, making small talk amongst each other. It seemed everyone already had their partners set even before the idea of pairs had come up, so there was no room for me to chime in anywhere. The only odd ones out in what felt like a cruel twist of fate was me and The Crusaders...
"I chose Sweetie Belle first!" Scootaloo said as she took hold of Sweetie Belle and bumped heads with Applebloom.
"Well unlike you, I 'asked' for Sweetie Belle first. At least I'm not forcing her."
"Girls, girls. Will you calm down? Don’t I get a say in this? No offense, Scootaloo, but knowing you, we wouldn't work well together, so I'm going to have to choose Applebloom."
"What?! Why?"
"I know you too well. And I also know that you'll fill up our scrapbook with all of YOUR achievements."
"What? No, I wouldn't." Sweetie Belle shot her an un-amused look as though there was a deeper meaning behind their words. "Well... I guess... but you can have the last page all to yourself!"
"Thanks, but I will have to refuse." She said, adamantly shutting Scootaloo down.
"Come on, Sweetie Belle! Everypony knows the ending is always the best part." She argued. Still, Sweetie Belle refused.
"Well, does everyone have their partners ready?" Miss Cheerilee said soon after. I had my head rested into my forelegs to keep from standing out. "How about you, Featherweight?" She called out to me, forcing me out of my resting. I shook my head. "And how about you, Scootaloo?" I didn't look, but I already knew her reply. "Well then, how about you work with Featherweight for this assignment." A burst of snickering erupted from the room, and I drowned out everything but Scootaloo's sudden outburst.
"What?! ME, with HIM?!"
"What's the matter, Scootaloo?"
"Yeah, what's the matter, Scoots?" Tiara followed up Miss Cheerilee jeeringly.
"N-nothing... I was just..." Scootaloo stammered.
"It's okay, Miss Cheerilee. I can do it on my own." I said sounding as confident as I could, surprising everyone as they all stared at me. Including Scootaloo. My expression was serious, and I refused to even look at Scootaloo from the corner of my eyes. I was doing this for her sake, knowing full well from her reaction that it was best if I avoided her here.
"Don't be silly, this is a group project. You can't do it alone and that is final. Scootaloo will be helping you."
"But..." Scootaloo tried to interject.
"Then is the class over?" I said again, serious as before. I tuned out the teacher's reply and I got off my seat and walked out the classroom. There was an air of disbelief as the room got silent from my departure, from what my ears could pick up before the distance grew too large. I'm not the type to disobey but I can't let myself be the source of Scootaloo's humiliation. No matter what I thought of Scootaloo, I wouldn't put her through a project that she didn't want to do with me. I could only think to wait to appeal to Miss Cheerilee out of everyone else's earshot and tell her the real reason why working together was a bad idea for Scootaloo.
I saw the exit and made my way out as fast as I could from the school. I wanted to block out today. Of all my memories, it seems I made some bad ones, huh? I followed up the usual street I take to try and locate my house. Strangely, I never seemed to find it. I looked for over an hour. My frustrated pacing aside, I was a little disheartened about that day, and I was tired. I wanted to get some rest, but... I was lost... again.
I sat by a bench at the park, trying to remember where my house was. How could I forget my house? Stupid me. How could I have forgotten... I tilted my camera to look at it thoroughly. A hint of white caught my eyes. There was a picture stuck at the end of it. I took out and saw a nice scenery and a squirrel. It made me happy. I stuck it in my bag and went back to looking at my camera.
"Hey, what is your problem anyways?" Those voices were familiar. I turned around and before me stood Snips and Snails strolling casually up to me.
"Dude, you forgot to come with us after school after you walked out of class!" Snails looked at me with awed eyes.
"But we forgive you! That was totally awesome! You showed her. Man, she was so angry. Making her angry twice in a day, now that is a record that we can only hope to achieve." Snips said.
"That must have taken serious guts! I don't think even WE'D dare to push her buttons that hard. She looked REALLY mad. Anyways, we'll see you around. Gotta get started working on the project. It's only a week deadline and we aren't very good at doing scrapbooks so see you around bro." Snails patted my back with strange familiarity.
"Bye, guys." And they left again. An odd bunch. They left me to contemplate the fact that I might've messed up again worse than I had intended to. Moments went by as I agonized over it.
"Hey, what is your problem anyways?" The second I heard that, everything went silent. Almost as if I had deafened. I dared not turn back. I was paralyzed in shock. I didn't know what to do. "Ahem, I said, what is your problem?!" I guess it was now or never then.
"Huh?"
"You heard me. What is your problem? First you try to humiliate me in front of everypony, then you do it again by just bolting away from our project?"
"Our project?"
"Ugh, I seriously can't believe I have to do this with you. I have to put off Cutie Mark Crusading because of this? What a drag. Look, don't think because I'm here that it means anything. Miss Cheerilee is strict about this and I know she wont accept solitary work, so I'm stuck with you whether I like it or not."
"You can just say that we worked together." I still dared not look at her.
"Huh? No. This isn't an option you know. Not for me. Or you."
"Why not?
"Because she'll find out!"
"I can testify if the need be."
"And what if she doesn't believe you?"
"What reason does she have not to? I thought you wanted to work alone."
"Well... maybe because of my outburst. I don't know. She can be quick to catch on. And I never said I wanted to work alone. I wanted to work with my friends."
"And I'm not your friend." Everything went silent again. "I have to go... home..."
"Wait." She said, stopping me before I had the time to sit up from the bench. "I can't do this on my own no matter how much I want to... so..."
"Why not? You could do the entire thing about you."
"I can't..."
"Isn't it like you told Sweetie Belle? Make it all about you and I can give you what you need to include me in if needed."
"I already told you I can't!" Silence fell again. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I turned around and saw an angered expression on her face. I made her angry again... But the strangest thing happened then. Her expression fell. “I don't have anything to put in the scrapbook..."
"Huh? But didn't you tell Sweetie Belle..."
"We were being sarcastic... I don't have anything to put in it. Chances were that she would have filled everything with her own stuff, and I would have done nothing. Like usual..." She pawed the ground.
"Don't you have trophies or even small things to commemorate an occasion? You are the best daredevil in Ponyville. The best scooter I've ever seen. I'm sure you've won at least some medals."
"N-no... that stuff is just a hobby. I don't really keep anything of personal value other than my scooter and helmet, but that stuff is too big for a scrap book."
"Oh... uhm... well I guess we can fill it with things you dream of doing or maybe you can add achievements that we can try to get now. I have a camera with me so we can start now if you want. Can you think of anything you want to do?" The conversation had taken a strange turn. I was left completely unsure how it would play out. How had things suddenly turned for the better? Was she really relying on me after all of that had gone down?
"Well... I uh... I um... I really want to be able to fly as fast Rainbow Dash. She is so cool."
"Then why don't you?" Of all my memories, I think I knew the answer to my own question.
"Huh? Oh, I..."
"I'm sure after a lot of practice, you could become just like her."
"I... well..."
"Doesn't Rainbow Dash want to become a Wonderbolt? Hmm, hey, you should take lessons with her! If anyone can help you become like Rainbow Dash, it would be Rainbow Dash herself right?"
"Again... I can't... I can't really fly all that well... I... don't know how." Yeah. It's what I had suspected. I knew that all too well before she had even said it. I was the one who took the picture in secret for Tiara back then, much to my dismay. The picture of her struggling to get out of a mud puddle after a bad landing from her skateboard with her wings. I was the one who saw it all. Her frustration. The tears that followed after I had already taken the picture. The feeling of helplessness. Of not being able to accomplish even something so small...
"Then why not try...?" My voice felt like a whisper. I felt like I could step on a landmine at any second.
"I do! Okay?! I train in secret all the time. It's just... I don't really know... how. And I'm too shy to ask Rainbow Dash... I'm sure she would laugh at me... or get mad at me because I can't... I don't want the pony that I look up to the most be disappointed in me..." There was only silence afterward.
"I could help you."
"Huh?"
"I'm no expert myself, but I'm sure I could help you off the ground at least." I looked at my camera. "And... maybe I can take pictures. To fit the album."
"Could you...? I mean... uh... keep this a secret! Ugh! I don't even know why I told you to begin with! First Tiara with that picture she took herself, then you. I'm hanging by a thread here." She was mistaken about two things. It seems she still didn't know that I was the one to take the picture. She's also probably under the impression Tiara knew she couldn't fly from the picture, but I adamantly protected Scootaloo by convincing Tiara that the photo was taken shortly before she flew. Tiara didn't think twice about my explanation, and thankfully she never found out at all.
"I've already made you angry twice... it wasn't my intention... and I'm sorry... but you can trust on me to keep a secret." She didn't reply. The look in her face was a mixture of anger at herself for trusting me and confusion. Plus something else I couldn't quite recognize. Something I haven't seen from her yet. "I know a place where I can teach you without anyone seeing. Come with me."
I turned away and began walking off to a familiar passage. She followed along behind me in silence. All the way down through the street and grass, past abandoned houses and blocked-out paths. Finally, into the edge of the Everfree forest and near a small pond. The treeline encircled it and small orange rays of light passed through the leaves and onto the water, creating glimmering sparkles of light when the rippling waves disturbed the stillness of the pond.
"Wow... this place is beautiful, but uhm... are you sure this is a good place to practice? I have bad memories of the Everfree Forest..."
"Don't worry. I've been here plenty of times. I've taken tons of pictures here and never even seen another pony, animal, or monster walk on by. Besides, we won't be long. It's getting dark soon anyways and I'm sure we'll get this done in no time.
"Yeah... okay. I guess you are right. Let’s do this."
"It takes patience to first learn how to fly. Well, show me what you can do."
"Um... right now? Right here?"
"Yes, go ahead."
"O-Okay." She took a deep breath and began to flap her wings vigorously. Every beat was fast. Faster than I could ever accomplish. It was just like the time she tried to get out of the puddle by trying to fly. It didn't take me long to understand what her problem was. She was trying too hard. Trying to be something she wasn't. Trying to be the fastest flyer in the sky like Rainbow Dash by beating her wings like a hummingbird. She was getting little air fraction that way.
"The trick is to spread your wings and curve them downward so air can pass under. To fly, you need to push yourself off the ground with air itself, and after that, it's all about maintaining your glide by cupping it beneath your wings."
"Alright, I'll give it a go."
"Just gotta focus on getting off the ground for now." She still didn't understand. It was difficult for her to curve her wings downward. Hers were straight. She placed too much force into them. Without thinking of another solution I placed my hoofs on her wings to try and adjust them correctly.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, just trying to help." I said as I pulled away almost immediately.
"It's okay... I just flinched is all..."
"Oh. Okay." I wasn't sure what to think, but I decided to not think of it at all. I placed my hoofs onto her left-wing trying to adjust it, but they were too tense. "Scootaloo, you have to relax your wings to be able to curve them. Just loosen up your muscles and..." She slowly relaxed, but the other wing was still misguided. After a few seconds of silence and her relaxing a bit more and more, she finally got the figure right. After beating her wings slowly like I had instructed her, she almost immediately gained some air with the first few flaps, but her wings tensed up again from the effort plopping her back onto the ground. "Just... relax. It'll be fine. Just focus on keeping your wings loose."
"You saw that! I did it!" She said excitedly. It was a small victory but a very important one for Scootaloo. You could see it from the expression on her face. Nothing in the world could keep me from seeing this through to end after being witness to that sheer joy.
It took several days before she finally had a steady hover going and was able to land back down appropriately, and finally, the day arrived when she took off into a real flight.
"Wow! I'm actually flying! This... is amazing! The wind in my f-" She crashed right into a tree branch, sending her balance off and tumbling down without control.
"Scootaloo!" She landed in the water, her shadowy figure slowly fading into the depths of the pond. Without a second thought, I flew into the stinging cold lake and swam downwards towards Scootaloo who had gone into a panic and tensed up her body again, failing to swim because of it. I pulled her out as fast as I could, trying my best to use my wings as a drifting aid as I had stored some air under them. Quickly, I took her out of the pond and onto the grass. She coughed up a bit of water but looked no worse for wear. "Are you okay?! You aren't bleeding or anything right?"
"I'm fine... my face hurts a little bit but other than that I'm fine. Ow..." She sighed, as sadly as a sigh could get.
"What's wrong?"
"I already told you I'm not hu-"
"I wasn't talking about the injuries." I cut her off, a short silence followed afterward and she turned her face away from me to look at the ground. It was obvious to both of us that she was severely disappointed in herself.
"It... was the first time that I fly and I crashed... It made me think that I really can't be like Rainbow Dash..."
"Take a look at this." I held out a photo I took right before she had crashed. In the picture, she was happy in mid-air. "You flew. And that is what matters. With enough practice, I'm sure you can be just as good as Rainbow Dash. I mean, it's only been a few days since you started learning how to fly! It certainly took me a lot longer to know how to do it when I first started."
She took the picture and smiled a slight smile. "Thanks..."
"This picture says there is no failure. Scootaloo flew and she was happy. It doesn't say if she had flown before. It doesn't say that she crashed afterward. It just says that she flew." I gave her a warm smile receiving a shy one in return. "That is the nice thing about memories. You know what happened. You know this was your first time flying. You know that you crashed, but you learned from it. You had a little mistake with a branch, big deal. Imagine if you were flying in a clearing with nothing to crash into. In the sky high above the clouds. It doesn't matter what will be or has been. A memory is a gift, because you can learn from it. You can revisit it and feel the joys and wonders that you had. Nothing, not even a picture, is worth more than a memory. Now let's get home to dry off before we get sick. I think my home is closest."
We said nothing more and walked back to the main road in silence. After a while of walking, the door to my house appeared before me. I hadn't realized that my home was the first one down this road, despite however many times we had taken this same path over the last few days. We sat at the door awkwardly, as I realized we finally achieved Scootaloo's ultimate goal and not knowing how to proceed from then onward. All I could do is try to muster the courage to ask her about it, but without being able to voice it.
"What is it?" She said, noticing my intent to ask something.
"Um, for now would you like to come in?" She gave me a small nod. I opened the door revealing a normal living room with stairs leading up to the second floor. We followed up the stairs and stopped at my room. This would be the first time that anyone would see my room. I took a deep breath in silence before reaching for my door to open it up, revealing a small generic bed, with a small generic nightstand and a small generic mat. The walls however were a different story.
Scootaloo was at awe as she set her eyes upon the vast collection of photos I had. All of scenery, other ponies, towns, lakes, birds, anything that was worth capturing as a memory. This was my life’s collection.
"Here's a towel." I said handing her a relatively newer one. She took it without hesitation and gave it back when she was done. I dried myself off and looked over to where Scootaloo was now standing, gazing into the varying pictures. Her eyes eventually reached the picture with the squirrel from what happened on the day that I confessed to her, and a load of memories rushed back to me.
"Wow. All of this is amazing."
"Thanks. I've been taking pictures since I first got my camera. My parents gave it to me. It's been a passion of mine ever since."
"I'm not even kidding when I say this is just awesome! Wow!" It was strange having someone be truly impressed by what you had done out of habit and hobby. "Huh? What about these photos here?" She reached over to my personal photo album lying freely on top of my desk.
"Wait no that is my..." My voice trailed off as she turned the pages, to my absolute dismay... She kept scrolling through them, seeing all the different places and things. None however had a single picture of another pony. None except her own.
"What... is... this...?"
"Look... I... uh... I can explain!"
She kept looking through the book. From a certain point forward, those pictures stopped being pictures of scenery and became pictures of her. Most of the pictures were of the times she pulled off cool stunts on her scooter. Others were pictures of the times she did assignments like the school play or bring your family to school day when she took Rainbow Dash as a family member. The last and most frequent photo of the album was just a singular picture of her smiling. There were far too many pictures of her in the album to possibly be played off as material for the school project we were doing. To her, it must have undoubtedly looked like I was stalking her. And in all honesty, even if given a half-decent reason for it, it was probably still inexcusable.
"I..." Scootaloo's voice trembled.
I sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see all of that..." We stood in silence for a while. A recurring theme as it seemed.
"Featherweight... what is all of this?" The confusion and disgust in her voice was unmistakable.
"I take pictures for fun an-"
"Quit the lies. I'm sick and tired of them. It's like you've said nothing but lies since I've met you. I want you tell me the truth... Why...?" She didn't sound angry this time around. She sounded... genuinely hurt. It was painful to hear... Very painful.
"My parents gave me this camera when I was small." I began, not sure where to start. From the beginning seemed right, but I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Scootaloo turned to face me. Her expression was unrecognizable to me. A mixture of sadness... of something... I'm not sure anymore... "They told me, 'Take a picture. It will last you a lifetime.' and I did. I took a picture of anything that was worth more than memory."
"Nothing is worth more than a memory..." She muttered. She remembered what I had mentioned before.
"Both of my parents passed away when I was eight. I've lived with my big brother ever since." I looked down at my bed sheets, unwilling to look up until this was all over. "But before then... I had suffered a severe head injury and I was later diagnosed with short-term memory loss..."
"..."
"In my life, I have never been able to remember almost anything. The word memory had no meaning. Pictures were my memory. They told me of a life I once had. Of things I had once seen. But I've never been able to remember any of it. Pictures were and are my life. Everything here is all I know... All I knew..."
"I said quit the lies..."
"You told me to stop with the lies, right? But I don't think I've been lying to you at any point up until now."
"If that's true then why do you remember me?!" A small silence followed.
"For the same reason why you are even in that book. The book of my most important memories. Precious memories. In my life, I haven't been able to keep many memories for long. I forget almost everyone I've ever met. When I first met you, I didn't think much of you. I had never really talked to you before but..." I hesitated not sure what to say. "Something about you... you were one of the only few ponies I could never forget. You want me to be completely honest? I was afraid. When you became one of my first memories... I was afraid! I was afraid that I would lose a semblance of myself by not being able to remember things, but because of you, I was able to keep a part of me through you."
"So all of this was..."
"I was afraid to lose you. To lose the memory of you. You made me remember. Because of you I was able to remember school, because of you I was able to remember Sweetie Belle and Applebloom because they are you friends. Because of you I can remember Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts. I took photos of all the times you did something amazing even if I didn't think anything of you at the time. All the times you did cool stunts or school plays..." My neck tightened. I wanted to cry. "But then... you became more than just a memory to me. It took me a while to realize that... that last picture in my album... I took it and though it might seem you didn't do anything amazing or cool or awesome... it's precious to me. It was the last picture I placed in that book because I knew I didn't need it anymore..." My voice was shaking and I began to shiver. "But that isn't where the truth ends. I'm sorry I didn't mention this sooner. It wasn't Tiara who took the picture of you back then. It was me. I saw everything... I saw you fall into the puddle... I saw that you couldn't fly... you were helpless... sad... and you reminded me... of me."
"Featherweight..."
"I never told Tiara that you couldn't fly. I even convinced her that you could. I felt horrible for taking that picture. It was my fault that your secret nearly got out. It was my fault that you were so upset. I didn't know you at the time, so then why did it matter so much to me? I knew that I would forget you eventually... I knew that you would become just like everyone else, a stranger... But why did it matter to me? I think I realized my feelings a little too late you see. I really do like you Scootaloo." My body was tense. I could hardly breath under my own shivering. "And... I wanted to tell you that before I TRULY forgot you... I wanted to see you smile like in that picture and hold onto the memory forever. But... It was my fault that things got worse for you again and again. I wanted to remove myself from your life for good under that guilt... I wanted to leave you alone so I wouldn't anger you anymore. I wanted you to forget me. I... WANT you to forget me."
I had been facing down to the ground not having had the courage to see her expression. It was then that Scootaloo's hair came into view. She dug her face into my chest and hugged me. She was crying. The tears were dampening my coat. We stood in silence for a long time, deep into the night.
"You idiot... There's no way I can now... You should have told me... You should have said something... That you weren't joking... I was angry because I had thought you had taken up a stupid dare to try and humiliate me... I was angry because I thought you didn't want to do the project with me... I was angry because I thought you lied to me..."
"I'm sorry..."
"You don't have to apologize... I'm the one who is sorry. I had no idea you were suffering something like this... but you never said anything... you kept quiet..."
"I've never really cared about losing my memory up until now."
"What do you mean?" She let go and looked at me, tears still in her eyes.
"Nothing has ever been as important to me as you are. I was never afraid to lose my memory before."
She turned a deep red, still a hint of sadness in her expression. "But what about your parents? Or your brother? Didn't you care of losing the memory of them?"
I took the album book and brought it back to the bed. I turned to the first picture in it. "You see that picture? That was the first picture I ever took. It was when my parents first gave me my camera. It was a picture of them."
"But half of it is missing."
"It isn't. This is it. The entire picture as a whole. It was the first time I had taken a picture. Back then, I knew nothing about developing a picture, so when I took it, half of it burned off. All that remained of the picture was this." In the picture, there was the younger me. A happy smile on his face, to the side where the picture was burned was my parents.
"You don't have any more pictures of them?"
"No. This is the only one."
"It must be sad... not being able to even picture who your parents were..."
"Not at all. Like I told you. Pictures say a thousand words. All this picture says is that there is a happy me. As for my parents? Well, I might not remember how they look like, or who they were, but I can picture them being there. A happy couple, smiling and joyful. I can imagine who they were and what they've been. I said nothing is more valuable than a memory, but imagination gets as close as it can get to it. Oh that reminds me!" I took out Scootaloo's flying picture and turned to the last page to stick it in there. My album was almost nearly complete, but this would have to do. "How about you use this photo album as a scrapbook. It has photos of all the times you accomplished something. All those stunts and stuff."
"I..."
"And it can save you a lot of time so you can go Cutie Mark Crusading like usual. We're basically done, so why don't you take it? I don't really need it anymore."
"Why..."
"Huh?"
"I want the honest truth. The last thing I'll ask of you. You said all of that like this would be the last time we'd be talking. You mentioned something about forgetting me. Why is it that you are going to eventually forget me?"
"Oh... I... uh..."
"Please..."
"My brother found a doctor that could cure my short-term memory loss."
"And?"
"And I will get operated soon."
"And..." She said it more slowly, piecing together what this all had to do with my words earlier. I hesitated for a while to respond.
"The procedure will cause me to lose all and any memory that I've ever had..."
"And when is the operation...?"
"Tomorrow..."
"So you really WILL forget who I am..." Silence once last time. "Thanks, Featherweight... for everything... I have to go. It is really late now, but..." She kissed me on the cheek and said nothing more as she left into the night.
I turned back to my bed and sighed. Only then did I notice the photo album still sitting on my bed. She left it behind... Well... I guess it was for the best...
The next day came around and I remembered nothing of the events that followed afterward. All I remember is waking up in a hospital bed, Scootaloo waiting patiently for me to wake up. She hugged me as I did and she was crying. She looked different though from when I last saw her. She told me it had been a week since I was asleep.
"You... remember me..."
"Of course. Why wouldn't I? Well, you don't seem like the Scootaloo I knew from before."
"I'm not the old Scootaloo..."
"So you must be the new one then. You are still as pretty as I remember. I can't really notice the difference."
~~~
She hugged me afterward and then we totally danced the night away to a slovenly serenade drifting away into a sea of silver moonlight and rose pedals as I picked them up from the water with my sheer manliness alone. Then this giant sea monster appeared and I conquered it with one sway of my charming mane and the ancient race of alicorns bowed to my might, my awesome, my bodacious, and my manliness and they used their power to make me a god like them and I became supreme ruler of the entire known universes and-
"Okay okay Mr. Awesome. None of that last part happened but the first part sounds doable. I'm just glad that you were able to remember all of that..." Scootaloo hugged me for real this time.
"I didn't know where to start recalling all my memories when you told me to remember everything, but I started from where my problems began."
"Hey! What does that mean?!"
"And the end of them. Plus a start to a never-ending memory of you." That was a good way to quiet her. She turned deep red almost instantly and I let a chuckle escape me. I had a new weapon. I took the camera at the side table and pulled Scootaloo close to me. "Let's take a picture together so we can finish that photo album. It needed one last picture." As the familiar click went off and the picture developed, I smiled. "Though pictures aren't worth more than memories, this one is worth more than a thousand words."
"I'm still amazed that you were even able to recall anything." The doctor said as he walked in through the door. "We had to completely destroy any memory cell that was clogging up your memory and then rejuvenate the part of your brain that was causing the short term memory loss. Technically, you weren't supposed to remember anything afterwards. Although the operation itself was a success, all of the patients that we've had have never remembered anything afterward. And that is saying something. My grandfather and my great great grandfather all did this for a living, and through five hundred patients, you are the first to have some memory left in you. Tell me, where do those memories come from?"
"That's easy. From the heart, right?"
Photo Album: The Story, as it went.
Author's Note
Initially I split Photo Memory and Photo Album up in to two separate stories on FIM. I decided to merge them onto this single one by adding a second chapter, thus you should understand that this "Chapter" is a retelling of Photo Memory in Scootaloo's POV, accounting for a bit more of the story but with summarization of Photo Memory half-way through. This is a story I wrote 9 years ago, and I have now since touched up on both Photo Memory and Photo Album, to fix grammar, spellings, etc. Still though, have some consideration as to age of the story and my lack of ability back then. In keeping to the original as much as possible in my fixes, they might still seem odd, amateurish, or bad.
Photo Album: The Story, as it went.
Photo Album
The Story; As It Went
By: Darkevony
"I'm still amazed you were even able to recall anything of the past." The doctor said as he walked in on Scootaloo and Featherweight. "We had to completely get rid off any of your old memory cells that were clogging up the memory part of your brain. Technically, you weren't supposed to remember anything at all. The operation was a success, but after my many years and many patients, none have ever had even the tiniest memory left. Tell me, where do those memories come from?"
With a confident smile, Featherweight turned to look at Scootaloo. "That's easy. From my heart, right?"
~~~~~~
A surge of emotions ran deep in her heart. A mixture of sadness, anger, happiness, and longing. Even trying to keep those unwinding thoughts at bay left her devastated and torn. She knew that it would be better for both of them if she just forgot, but how could she? How could he expect her to forget, after all that he'd done for her and all that he had suffered?
She had left his house in a sprint, trying to get away from it all. It was only now that she was far enough away that she slowed down, slowly coming to a halt. The moon was now beginning to ascend across the sky. Her thoughts slowly consumed her. It hurt to think of it. Too many memories in such a short time. She was trying to make sense of them, sense of her feelings.
In only an afternoon, a great revelation had befallen her. She had learned of the things he had done to protect her secret about not being able to fly when Tiara had gotten a photo of her. She had learned that Featherweight really hadn't lied about anything he'd said to her up until that point. She had learned of Featherweight's plight... She had learned that she was Featherweight's first memory, and much more than just that...
Now, however, all of it would be gone soon. How did Featherweight expect her to forget all that had happened? He had spent months of pent up feelings with the knowledge of his own condition, and when he had the courage to fight both the embarrassment and his disability, she shot him down thinking it was some cruel joke to humiliate her. At the very least Featherweight accomplished what he set out to do as his final wish before his major surgery, and that was to confess to Scootaloo.
It all really started from that one moment. A cascade of events. That one confession led to their confrontation at the bench and their eventual trust in one another. In the end, that photo album project had brought them together as if by some work of dumb, lucky or perhaps unlucky chance.
Scootaloo had been paired up with Featherweight on a school project. They were to work together to fill a photo album full of experiences and accomplishments of their own. When her prejudice, anger, and embarrassment got the best of her at the time that Miss Cherilee had paired her and Featherweight up, she panicked, searching desperately for a way to avoid it. It was Featherweight who took a bold move to say that he wanted to work alone.
Miss Cherilee, not knowing any better, still tried pairing them together. But Featherweight was determined to not inconvenience Scootaloo further, and looking to not cause more of a scene he walked out of the classroom as though it were an act of defiance. Still, she saw something else on his face then.
That was the second time Scootaloo saw something in Featherweight's expression, as much as he tried to hide it. It was a hint of sadness and hurt. The first time she saw it was when he first confessed. It led to her misunderstanding his intentions, and ultimately losing to the embarrassment of the whole class jeering at the spectacle. And while that jeering did happen again this time around, she felt more confused than angry about what Featherweight's true intentions might be. She could not mistake that kind of feeling twice. After all, she knew more about it than most other ponies.
As everyone began to dismiss themselves shortly after that ordeal in the classroom, it was Snips and Snails who approached the trio of friends to talk to Scootaloo.
"And he bailed! Oh boy, who are you gonna work with now?" Snips commented.
"That guy sure gots guts." Snails followed up.
"So was it you guys who told him to pull that trick on me?!" Scootaloo said, both furious and embarrassed trying to make sense of the events happening around her.
"What? No way, sister! Far as we know, he planned this all on his own." Snips said.
"So... you didn't set him up?" She said, now a little more confused.
"Eaynope. He sure got you good though." Snails snorted his response.
Miss Cherilee walked up to the group of ponies since the ruckus they kicked up caught her attention. "What's this about Featherweight? Did you do something to upset him, Scootaloo?"
"N-nothing, ma'am." Scootaloo said to try and hide the events from before, embarrassed that a grown-up may find out about it.
"Ha! It was nothing all right." Snips and Snails said as they laughed and walked out of the room.
"It really was nothing, Miss Cherilee!" Sweetiebelle butted in, trying to keep Scootaloo out of trouble and out of the situation.
"Be honest with me girls, what happened with Featherweight?"
"He was the one that started it Miss Cherilee!" Applebloom added.
Miss Cherilee scowled. "Oh girls... just... please don't try to upset him. He's been through a lot, and I'd appreciate it if you let him be, if he really did do something bad, try to forgive him alright?"
"But why?" Scootaloo asked.
"It's nothing I can really say, but just remember what I told you..." Her eyes suddenly turned a bit sad. She turned back to her desk and walked away. Scootaloo looked back at Sweetie Belle and Applebloom to see if they had noticed it too, but they had just shrugged it off and had gone back to talking about their projects, slowly packing their things and heading out the door.
Scootaloo watched as they left and quietly thought for a while in the silence, trying to make out the situation with Featherweight. Now she had a new variable in the equation, and something wasn't adding up. She knew that she couldn't do the photo album on her own, because despite appearances, she didn't have anything to put in that photo album at all. No photos, no achievements. She had grown up believing that she wasn't amazing at all, heck, she couldn't even fly. She had nothing to believe in herself for, no good memory. Begrudgingly, she felt like she would have to rely on Featherweight for this project.
Taking a bold stance, she walked up to Miss Cherilee on her own after everyone else had finally cleared out. "Ma'am I uh... wanted to talk to you about what happened." She cleared her throat to try and get rid of the embarrassment, Miss Cherilee's full attention now on her. "What happened was that he told me he liked me in front of everypony. They all started laughing at me, so I thought that he just did it to mess with me..." Scootaloo looked down, from embarrassment, from sadness, from guilt.
"That's odd." Miss Cherilee finally said after a few seconds of silence. "Did you talk to him a lot before he told you that though?"
"Not really. Today was the only time he ever even spoke a word TO me."
"How very odd..." Miss Cherilee stayed thinking a while. "This makes it worse..."
"What does?" First the confession, then his determined reply to work alone, and now Miss Cherilee trying to keep something away from her. Whatever was going on with Featherweight, she would have to confront it sooner or later.
"Look, Scootaloo, I'll let you work on this project alone. It's probably for the best if you let him be. It'll blow over soon, okay?"
"Okay... I guess." Knowing that she would get nothing out of Miss Cherilee, Scootaloo set out to find Featherweight.
In a fast stride, she looked around the schoolyard, watching as everyone slowly left together in pairs of two, laughing about what they could do with the project. There was no sign of Featherweight. Noticing Snips and Snails, Snips was bouncing with laughter. She got closer to overhear their conversation while staying out of sight.
"Well, I gotta say, today was prutty eventful, Snails." Snips said.
"Didn't think Featherboy was that crazy, I never even seen him talk much with other ponies. He's usually by himself. We should DEFINITELY make him part of our group."
"He didn't show up to hang out like we asked him. Think he forgot? Let's go find him and ask him, I think I saw him near the park." In agreement, they set out.
The two began to fan out to look for Featherweight. Scootaloo tagged along, careful not to be noticed. Her mind was swaying from a mixture of things. Mostly trying to remember all the small hints of details she had known of him before the whole ordeal. He was always quiet, never had many friends or people that he talked to. He was the cameraman for the newspaper at the time they had undertaken the printing press at school. After that though, she never saw much of him. Almost like he was trying to avoid her. She hadn't given him much notice to be fair, but still...
Suddenly, she heard Snails talk. "Dude, you forgot to come with us after school after you walked out of class." Snails looked over at Featherweight who had been sitting on a bench.
"But we forgive you! That was totally awesome! You showed her. Man, she was so angry." Snips said. "Radical bro. That was so awesome. Anyways, we'll see you around. Gotta get started working on the project. It's only a week deadline and we aren't very good at doing scrapbooks so see you around."
"Bye guys." Featherweight said, his tone of voice unsure and sad. Seemed Snips and Snails had forgotten to ask him to join their group. Featherweight stayed sitting down alone, looking over to a picture of his.
She took in a gulp of air and finally took her stand. "Hey, what's your problem anyways?" She saw as his body tensed up, yet still he hadn't turned to look at her.
"Huh?" He finally said after a while.
"You heard me. What is your problem? First you try to humiliate me in front of everypony, then you just bolt away from our project?"
"Our project?"
"Ugh. You are a pain. I have to put off Cutie Mark Crusading because of this? What a drag. Look, don't think because I'm here that it means anything. Miss Cheerilee is strict about this and I know she wont accept solitary work, so I'm stuck with you whether you like it or not."
She knew ever well that Miss Cherilee had already given her an okay to work alone, even pushed it on her, but by then, she was trying to find an excuse to find out what was going on.
From there, they had spent a good part of a week slowly building trust in each other as they worked on the pictures for the album and the secret flying lessons. Eventually, this all lead to Scootaloo stumbling upon Featherweight's personal photo album of his most important memories. The memories he valued most. The first page had a burnt picture of his parents, hardly visible. Some of his brother. Some of places he loved, and sights he had seen. Onward into the book, however, a vast collection of her began to fill the pages. Pictures of her accomplishments, of events and stunts she had done on her scooter. Months of what seemed like eerie admiration by Featherweight. Finally pushing an explanation out of him, she found out that those pictures weren't for a stalker's fantasy at all. Those pictures meant much more to him.
His parents had perished when he was young, in those days, he had suffered a severe head injury that caused short-term memory loss, giving up his ability to remember anyone or anything. The camera was a precious gift from his parents, and he treasured it always by taking pictures and treating them as memories. All the photos that lay about his room and all the photos that lined the book itself were of the life he once had, of the life he once knew.
"Take a picture, it'll last you a lifetime."
"But nothing will ever be worth more than a memory."
The photos of her in the album meant much more, for he explained that it was because of her that he could truly remember more of the world and more of himself. Thinking nothing much of her at the beginning, Featherweight found himself remembering Scootaloo and anything associated with her. In fear that his memories and his very sense of self would go away like they would usually have done, he began to take photos of her, of anything amazing she'd do, of all the stunts and school plays. He wanted to keep the aspect of a memory, happen he to lose it and lose himself with it. But eventually, as all things lead up to it, he began to find that Scootaloo was more than just his first long-term memory. She was also the first pony he'd begun to like, and eventually, love.
Faced with the eventual reality that he would completely lose every memory due to an upcoming surgery to fix his mental disability, Featherweight mustered his courage to tell her how he truly felt. Finally knowing the truth, Scootaloo forgave him, but after learning of the surgery, she left in a rush, distraught in the swirling thoughts of indecision and pain. Unsure of what to truly think. Unsure of what to do.
And it is where it finally led her to the moment of now, the moon now descending midst the sky, her mind recalling the memories, recalling what she had shared with him in only an afternoon's worth. How could he expect her to forget? How...? It just seemed so unfair...
Her dreams began to fill up with those memories, and then the next day came to rise.
She had dreamt of him again...
Waking up for another day, her mind still lay unsure. Only a small margin of time had passed, and she didn't know whether that would be enough time to think it over, but she knew now that her decision would have to come soon. Beside her bed lay the photo album that Featherweight had kept. He had asked her to use it for the photo album project since it had all of her accomplishments jotted down, and even some of his. She had forgotten the photo album at his house the day before when she rushed away with her mind entwined with hurting emotions. She went to get it the next day, only to be greeted by Featherweight's brother who had been looking after him. He told her that he had gone to get the operation and would be hospitalized until he could fully recover, which would take about a week's time.
Having gotten what she was after, a few days passed by and she devoted her time working on the photo album. No one at school truly knew of what happened to Featherweight, and though she got called out about it a few times, she promptly dismissed them and spoke of it with no one, not even her two best friends. They had even asked her to take a break from the project on several occasions to go Cutie Mark Crusading, but she was determined to do right by him and would refuse. She focused all of her time and attention on the album in order to give it her own special feel to it, even going so far as to do an all-nighter to finish it on the last day on which it was due.
The book now firmly in her grasp, she headed out to school.
Taking her seat in the now bustling room of students, everyone began to present their projects one by one. It was during lunch that Snips and Snails, along with Tiara and Silver Spoon and her own friends finally approached her about her situation with Featherweight.
"So looky here, Featherweight even ditched you on presentation day! A-class bridge troll!" Snips said, making Snails snort out a laughing response.
"Truly an inspiration to us all." Snails said.
"Well if I had to deal with Scootaloo too, I wouldn't have shown up either." Tiara said as condescending as ever, only getting a "Uhuh" in approval from Silver Spoon.
"Leave Scootaloo alone. I bet it was all his fault! She worked so hard on the photo album on her own, and he didn't even help her! He is just as bad as the lot of you!" Sweetiebelle barked back at them.
"Yeah! I reckon he even talked to Miss Cherilee to get out of it! What a lazy bum, all ya'll know nothin'." Applebloom followed up.
Up to now she had done a great job at keeping her mind busy. As strange as it sounded, pouring all her devotion into the photo album kept her feelings in check. She thought that maybe if it all finally blew over without dwelling too deep into those thoughts, that maybe she would have been able to forget. Even so, she could not avoid the conversation around her, and everyone badmouthing him was only making it worse...
"No." The restrained silence she kept and now the single-word answer she gave drew everyone's attention. Her expression gave them no room for retorts. "It is none of you that know anything. He would never do that. He poured more into the photo album than I could have possibly done in a week. He would only let me do this alone if benefited me. He isn't here because he just got operated and is recovering. So please, stop thinking that he did something wrong and leave it be." Everyone went silent. More than the seriousness of Featherweight's situation, it was hard to argue against the emotion in her voice. All they could do was feel a bit of shame for having insinuated the worst of him.
"Wow... sorry Scoots... We didn't really know." Applebloom finally said as everyone returned to their seats except her two friends.
"It's fine. After all, I thought the same way as you all only a week ago." Scootaloo couldn't be cheered up. As presentations continued, and hers being the last, the time was ticking and now Featherweight was square in her thoughts, and her emotions lay in the collateral damage of it all. Her indecision grew.
When her turn finally came, Miss Cherilee had been announcing both names of the partners who would do their photo album, but when it came to her, she only announced her name, and not Featherweight's. She got up to the front, the big book logging on her back until she lifted it onto the pedestal facing everyone. She cleared her throat and began.
"Featherweight couldn't be here today, but he asked me to present this." She pointed to the book, twice, even thrice as big as anyone else's photo album. In that instant, before she continued on, she had finally made up her mind. "Our photo album."
Though she was sure to leave out his condition, she shared some of the philosophy that Featherweight thought her the week that they had spent together. Down to the value of memories, to the greatness of imagination, to the representations of pictures, and the amount of joy she had putting the presentation and the photo album together for it's final debut.
Her choice was made. She even did something that she never dreamed she would ever do of her own volition. She showcased the pictures of her first flight. She told everyone in her class her awful truth. She told everyone of her fear of people laughing at her inability to fly. How none of it mattered anymore since Featherweight had encouraged, taught, and trained her. With a shaky voice, she ended her segment by stating how grateful she was to him.
When her presentation was over, everyone applauded in what could best be described as powerful admiration. Scootaloo had found great courage and self-worth, and it showed both in the Album that she had pieced together and in her decision to voice her fears. Featherweight had truly brought out the best in her.
She made no room to talk to anyone after classes ended and practically ran over to the hospital, taking the book along with her. Making her way over to his room, she opened the door to see him staring out the window. Without turning his head, she walked in slowly, placing the book onto a nearby chair and waiting to hear some response from him.
"So hey doc, when do you think I can eat solid food again? Soup is okay, but I've been eating nothing else since I woke up. And I hate that thing uh... what's it called... cranberry juice? Yeah, that. It's nasty. On the bright side though, I'm remembering stuff now!" He said, still without turning.
"Maybe soon I'm guessing," Scootaloo said. It was only then that he finally turned to see who the visitor was. His expression was in a slight shock, and a small silence followed afterward. Scootaloo held out a warm smile for him, their eyes locked on each other. Her eyes began to grow watery as the silence continued. She had really been hoping that he would remember her once more... "I thought maybe I'd visit you. You were out for a week, right before Miss Cherilee's photo album project. I had enough time to think it over... and I thought that maybe... even if all of your memories were gone... I still wanted to be with you." The silence only continued, and she lowered her head, trying to hide her eyes who were now tearing up.
"I awoke about two days ago, you should have visited sooner! I could have helped you on the album... Scootaloo. I hope I didn't worry you too much."
As Scootaloo looked up at him, he held that same warm smile that he had shown her when he helped her believe in herself when she first flew. The very same that she had longed for all this time apart. She hugged him tight, her tears now dampening his coat. "You... remember me..."
"Of course. Why wouldn't I? Well, you don't seem like the Scootaloo I knew from before." He said in a slight chuckle.
"I'm not the old Scootaloo..."
"So you must be the new Scootaloo then. You are still as pretty as I remember. I can't really notice the difference."
"I have to be sure... I have to be sure that you remember me. What is it that you remember?"
"Give me a moment to think." He began to focus on trying to remember. "I guess I should start from the moment I confessed, right?"
