Almost Left Unsaid

by Quick Fix

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Violence, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 4812

In the wake of one adventure too many, Twilight and Spike share some thoughts they've been holding from each other.

Sometimes you have a thought that you should probably tell someone. A little support for all they've done for you, a chance to clear the air after a misunderstanding, maybe even that confession you've been holding onto for far too long. Is it worth keeping that thought to yourself at a time when tomorrow's chance may never come?

While Twilight may not have had any such thought, she came too close to denying those close to her such a chance. In the aftermath of another intense adventure, the recovering princess finds herself with a lot of free time and a friend sticking by her side. It might be time to bring such thoughts into the open, and see where they lead.

I know I said I was effectively done with writing, but sometimes you just get an itch you want to scratch and then here we are. It took a little while to get back into the groove of things but hopefully the quality hit isn't too bad. Enjoy, and see if you can figure out just what spurred me into this one!

Also serves as an alternate ending to Black Sun wherein Celestia and Spike reach the Tomb of the Gods in time to rescue Twilight. I hopefully put enough in that it can be followed (or at least you're not completely lost) without reading the main story though.

Rated T violence for injuries worse than the show would depict.
Proofreading by the ICBFF, Deep Note

Published 2019-07-22 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-22 01:10:01 UTC

An Extra Sense of Closure

Tomb of the Gods, unknown location
November 11th, Year 23 under the Four Princesses

Twilight's breathing echoed in her ears as she planted her hooves firmly against the scorched stone. She was exhausted, bruised muscles barely keeping her standing, coat marred with cuts, burns and the odd streak of blood running down her whole body. Her wings were disabled, several ribs dislocated, vision blurred and ears ringing. Yet she remained standing. Weeks of physical and mental anguish lay behind her already, she could handle a little more. Besides, she couldn't win through regular means anyway. All she had to do was stay standing until she could cast her last-ditch secret weapon.

Through hazy eyes she could see her foe approaching again. Caligo, the embodiment of the Alicorn Empire that had plagued the world millennia ago. An alicorn who sought to undo all the good of Equestria and twist it to that dark vision, by any means necessary. Nothing showed that more than his body, stolen from another unicorn and magically pushed past its limits to match his stature. She could barely see it through the darkness of the tomb and her tensed eyesight, illuminated only by the silver shine of his magic and hellish glow of burned rock. The combined effect gave the impression of a demented zombie bearing down on her with murderous intent. She wasn't afraid though, not anymore. Sunset Shimmer hadn't died to be left as...This.

Twilight put as much focus as she could into her magic, thin tendrils of white curling out from her horn. Four wrapped round her legs and into her hooves, while another shot into the ceiling. The mental exhaustion began to lift from her mind as they made contact with the tomb around her, once again tapping into the drained yet still mighty reserves of magic imbued into the walls. Protections, tricks and failsafes designed to contain the ghosts of alicorns laid to rest here. She couldn't leave it be now. Every single one was likely more powerful than Celestia and Luna, each with the same dark motives as their warden that now stared her down. There was only one option left to her.

Her experiences against Tirek had shown her the method behind magic absorption. Before coming here, she had created a spell to allow a pony to safely perform it. Her magic had touched upon all that lay within the tomb, allowing it to be drawn unto her upon casting. The more magic she took in, the more powerful it would become, until it was strong enough to take in every last atom of this old world relic and erase it from this plane of existence. The only consequence was that she would have to stay in place to keep the spell under control...Even if it meant it took her with it.

She wasn't afraid of making such a sacrifice. Not after she had inadvertently asked so many to give up so much, just to get her to this moment.

Her focus moved back to her foe, waiting for his next attack. The power behind it would be an excellent jumpstart for her spell. An attack that hadn't come yet. That was unexpected, nothing about his actions during their fight had shown hesitance. She struggled to get her eyes focused properly but she could see he had stopped advancing. In fact, he seemed to have turned away from her. What was...?

Before she could even think, a blinding yellow light erupted from far behind her target, possibly from the entrance to the tomb. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and forced her head away, the intense glow still visible even then. The ringing in her ears intensified with a set of new, violent sounds. Hooves stomping against the rock, the piercing whine of high-intensity magic, her opponent saying something she couldn't make out, and a hellish battle cry. One that sounded like...Celestia?

Suddenly her front right leg buckled as the wounded shoulder gave out, almost bringing her down on it. The twist of her head had thrown her focus off and suddenly everything was hitting her at once. The pain from her crippled wings was spreading across her back, her mind was flooded with a dull yet suffocating throbbing, and she barely had the strength to remain conscious. Her magic faltered and fizzled out as she faded further, desperately attempting to keep it going. She couldn't give up, she had no choice! Yet, between her body being at its limit and the relentless cacophony of sound and light before her, she realised that she had nothing left to give.

Her other front leg started to go as well, leaving them both quivering as she continued to struggle in vain. There was a new sound on top of everything else. The thundering of something heavy and quadrapedal, headed right for her. She wanted to face it but, her body just didn't want to work anymore. Right as she slipped over the edge and she started to fall, she heard another familiar voice ring out. Clear as day through the unfolding chaos.

"Twilight!"

"Twilight?"

There was that voice again. It was faint and still somewhat hazy, but she recognised it properly this time. She'd know that hybrid Equestrian-Draconic accent anywhere.

Spike.

As Twilight's senses slowly came back to her, she could feel that she was lying flat on her back. Somewhere soft and warm. She could still just about feel her heartbeat though, and it was easier to breathe than before she'd lost consciousness. Whatever had happened, she was still alive. Her muscles seemed to be responding again as well. Very slowly for now, but enough for her to do something.

She scrunched her eyes shut tighter at a momentary ray of sunlight crossing them, before easing them open. Her vision was still as fuzzy as before while her pupils adjusted, but she could still make out a number of figures around her. One big and purple to her immediate left with a light blue and yellow pair next to it. Spike, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, no doubt. At the foot of what seemed to be the bed she was in were five more. One pale yellow, one orange, a taller white one, with an even taller pair of white and blue behind them. Of course she'd recognise Celestia and Luna, but the other three were slipping her addled mind right now. On the right were a last set of three, dark blue, green and bronze. Who were they?

She blinked slowly, bringing her eyesight back into focus, and took a long look at those around her.

Sure enough, her oldest friends were on her left side. Those capable of being here at least. Spike was gently holding her hoof in his hands, though despite his size and build, she could barely feel it. He was also getting teary eyed as he gazed down at her. Rainbow was next to him, back and wing remains still bandaged up, looking like she'd had a sleepless night but dawning relief flooding her face. Fluttershy sat near the end of the bed, similarly looking like seeing Twilight meant the world to her. Her throat was still bandaged up too, but she didn't need words to show how much this meant for anypony present.

As it turned out, the three in the middle were Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The bulky earth mare was the most stoic of those assembled, yet there was a hint of regret lingering in her eyes. A part of her mind that wished it was her comatose girlfriend waking up in front of her right now. Even in her current state, Twilight was all too aware that that was on her as well. Scootaloo bore another mark of how much everypony present had had to endure for her, the eyepatch covering her left eye potentially a more permanent reminder. In the moment, she was focusing on supporting Sweetie Belle next to her. The unicorn was in a similar state to Spike, looking like she was about to cry with joy, though having a harder time keeping herself composed.

Celestia and Luna were stood behind them, radiating stewardship and care as always. It took Twilight a minute to realise but there was something different, and not just due to Luna returning to normal after Tantabus had reconnected with her. In fact, she was something more. Her physique had grown taller and more elegant, near identical to her sister's. With her natural colours returned as well, the princess of the night was truly resplendent. Twilight's gaze lingered on them for several seconds as they watched over her with concern, eventually bringing herself to finish looking round.

The ponies on her right almost looked out of place, having been less involved with the adventures the others had endured. They had remained with her throughout this one however, and she viewed them with as much respect as anypony else. Peace Walker, the dark blue earth mare, was watching her with a small smile. Her orange-yellow eyes hinted at a newfound peace that had been lacking from all their previous meetings. The green pegasus stallion next to her, Deep Note, stood in stark contrast. He looked visibly troubled, almost like he didn't want to be here. The sight left Twilight with a bad feeling in her gut. Thankfully it was somewhat mitigated by the last pony there. Her nephew, Aurora. The unicorn stallion was looking down at her, his usually hazel eyes a milky white, the same colour as the glow from his horn.

"She's okay, Spike," He was saying, magic fading and eyes returning to normal. "Just processing everything. Give her a minute."

Spike nodded and loosened his hold on Twilight's hoof a little, never taking his eyes off her. She turned her gaze back toward him, focusing on the pure happiness etched onto his features. Everything was slowly coming back to her. All the fear, all the pain, everything she and everyone here had suffered. The last moments she remembered in the tomb. She merely felt numb right now, her wounds likely nullified through careful use of magic. That meant she could focus on the important things right now. First things first, her actual condition.

"Uuugh..." She moaned quietly as she tested what she could do, tilting her head toward the group on her left. Everything seemed to be sluggish but working as she attempted to sit up slightly. "A-am I even...Is this real...?"

"Twilight," Celestia said as she moved forward, voice wavering as she fought to remain composed. "Don't try to move too much. We weren't sure if you were ever going to wake up."

"So, I really am alive?" Twilight asked slowly, Celestia smiling and nodding in response. "What...What happened?"

"You did. You won," Luna replied, looking relieved as well. "Spike realised something was wrong when Tantabus was returned without you. My sister took him straight to the Tomb of the Gods and defeated Caligo while he recovered you."

Twilight's eyes widened as she listened, remembering her approach to what she had firmly believed would be a suicide mission. How others had stood to watch her back regardless. How she had still failed to bring everypony home like she had intended.

"A-and Applejack? Sunset?"

"Applejack's alive. In a rough way, but alive," Aurora told her, looking over at Deep as the pegasus shot him a weak smile. "We managed to find her in time, thanks in large part to the Tree of Harmony."

"Sunset Shimmer was...Already gone," Celestia finished, looking and sounding deeply regretful. "The most I could do was ensure her body did not remain in Caligo's grasp."

Twilight nodded sadly as she looked around her friends again. The more she observed them, the more they looked like she felt. Exhausted, emotionally strained, struggling to see the victory they had attained. Yet, they had still achieved it. They didn't need to suffer anymore. She didn't. Despite her numbness, she managed to bring a smile to her lips as looked round at everypony one more time.

"It's, over then. It's really over...Thank you all."

Five days later....

After what had felt like an eternity of struggle and regret, Twilight was finally allowing herself some measure of peace. A week had passed since she had entered the Tomb of the Gods and it seemed things were finally winding down. Celestia had revisited the tomb and confirmed that both its magic and Caligo, its defender, had been nearly exhausted. The remnants of the ancient alicorn empire remained sealed away and could be dealt with at any time. It did little to soothe the fact she had been unable to save Sunset Shimmer, or any of the dozens of ponies who had been lost along the way. But with Equestria safe, it all having meant something, Twilight felt like she could return to normal and still be able to live with herself.

Though her strength was coming back to her, she still couldn't move about freely. Her main injuries remained serious enough to keep her confined to bed rest. The numerous small cuts and scrapes had already been treated through healing magic, but the worst required more conventional care. Her back and forelegs had both been grievously burned and were bandaged up, as was her right shoulder where Caligo had bitten deep. Both wings were held firmly against her body in splints and despite their delicacy, seemed to have taken no lasting damage. It wouldn't be too long before she was out of bed again, but for now she was to simply heal and keep her mind off everything as best she could.

Twilight already knew there was no better way to do so than with a good book and the bedroom she'd been brought to was full of them. A small pile currently lay on the bedside table and a copy of 'Moondancer's Theory of Contained Magic' was providing fascinating reading. Just another way her old friend had been providing help since her return. Though it had taken her a short while to realise and learn the details, she had been brought to her old residence in Canterlot. Moondancer had offered it as a space for her to recover, away from public attention but close to any aid required. Twilight had made a mental note to thank her as soon as she saw her again. One of many thoughts now running through her mind to distract from the discomfort of her bad ribs at present. No position she could safely maintain alleviated the feeling so she had settled for lying on her front, focusing on everything else around her.

The steadily fading light as dusk began to give way to night outside. A faint breeze blowing through the window to brush against her mane. The familiar city sounds of a Canterlot evening filtering through to her ears. She couldn't remember the last time she had simply sat down and read something, letting daily life providing the backing soundtrack. Part of her had always missed the old days, back when she had been a student of magic and everything had seemed so simple. It wasn't that she regretted the path she had taken to get to this moment, but she had let herself get too fixated on certain points. Once she was back on her hooves, she was going to spend a long time with her friends, her family, those that had stood alongside her all this time. Even Starlight Glimmer, if she was willing. She owed them all that much.

Twilight's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. She looked round from her book and smiled as she saw Spike trying to work himself through the doorway. She'd never really thought about it due to her castle's much larger doors, but he was a lot bulkier now that he'd started to grow up. Entering on all fours put him just shorter than her but roughly twice her width, enough to make regular doors challenging. Standing fully upright was no better, since he was on eye level with Celestia even when crouching. Yet, as he managed to expertly navigate his way through the door while carrying a tray in his hands, she couldn't help but smile more. He always put the utmost care into everything he did when it came to helping her.

"Hey, Twilight," Spike said as he managed to enter the room, still keeping the tray balanced. "I brought dinner and fresh bandages. Hopefully it'll go a little smoother this time."

"Thanks. I'm sure it will if you're handling it." Twilight replied as she gingerly sat herself up, leaning back to keep the weight off her front hooves.

Spike smiled and nodded, placing the tray down on the bedside table. The alicorn could see that he had prepared one of her foalhood favourites, swede waffles with blackberry and grated orchid. Homemade, if the claw sized holes were any indication. Still, it really was sweet of him to go that far.

"Do you want me to handle these?" She asked, looking over at the rolls of bandages also set on the tray. Already she was priming her magic, the pink glow taking a grip on the ends of the ones across her body.

"Nah, you enjoy your food. I'll handle it."

Twilight nodded and let her magic fade, merely loosening off the ends for Spike. While he sat behind her and started to unravel the bindings around her chest, she let her mind wander slightly further. Mostly toward the dragon behind her, how he had been her rock throughout this past crisis. Every time she had been at her lowest, he had been at her side to hold her up and carry her forward. Often literally, during her weakest moments. He still bore wounds like her, his back scales darkened and left shoulder still carrying visible signs of its impalement. Yet, he had never said a word about it. He'd simply made her feel like she wasn't alone, like she could let her feelings out where it was safe to do so. Yet despite the offer of comfort, she had never really said anything either.

"Thank you." She said softly, wings twitching slightly as he worked on the bandages underneath them. Despite their sensitivity, she could barely feel his claws grazing them. He was just that careful.

"Hey, it's what I do." He told her, seemingly focused on keeping her as comfortable as possible. She could tell he was still listening though. Good. She wanted him to hear what she had to say. What she should have been saying a long time ago.

"No, I mean, for everything. I wouldn't be here without you, certainly not in a sound state of mind. Ponies will think I'm the reason we made it through this crisis, but you're just as responsible for that as I am. You always have been. It's not that I think any of my bonds are more important than the others, but more often than not, in my bleakest moments, you've been the one to bring me round. I've never really shown the proper appreciation for that either so...Thank you, Spike."

Neither of them said a word for a few minutes after that. Spike had shown no reaction and remained focused on unwrapping the bandages. Twilight could tell he had taken her words to heart though. She had known him long enough to tell when he was trying to put his thoughts into words. For the time being she let him work, levitating the plate up to her and trying the food he'd prepared. Swede was an acquired taste for most ponies but she enjoyed it, especially crunchy and mixed with a blend like he had added for her. It took a few moments for her to realise, but he had even cooked it with his dragon fire. From what she'd been able to learn about dragon customs, they typically only did so for others when they shared close bonds.

"Mmmm, this is really good," She commented between mouthfuls, smiling as she heard his satisfied snort. "And thank you for the personal touch as well. I'd do the same if I could."

"Oh! I err...Ah..." He stammered, pausing for several long seconds before leaning in closer, taking a look at her now unwrapped shoulder. "Well, this looks like it's starting to heal up at least. Does it feel okay to move?"

That response hadn't quite been what she'd expected. From the awkwardness in his voice though, it was probably better to focus on the more immediate issue this time.

"Better than yesterday. I still can't put any real weight on it though."

"That's better than I feared though," Spike looked down slightly and huffed through his nostrils, sending a thin wisp of smoke out. "Every time we end up on one of these adventures, some small part of me thinks that this is going to end up the one. The one where you end up crippled, broken...Worse."

Twilight's ears twitched as she picked up on his tone. Distant, slightly wistful, as though he were talking to himself as much as to her. Beneath it all, the barest sense of relief, like he'd also been holding onto this for some time. That he'd always wanted to say all of this, but it had taken her near death for him to work up the nerve to finally admit it. She simply set her plate down and listened, letting him talk and work.

"I know I should have faith in you but...When you've known somepony your whole life, it's hard not to feel more about them on a deeper level," He paused halfway through getting the last bandage off her chest. Even from here, she could practically feel the blush on his cheeks. "That, ah. That sounded way different to how I meant. It's more..."

"Spike, I get it," She told him, feeling him relax as his blushes were spared. "I feel the same about the girls. Constantly worrying about their safety and if I'm leading them into one adventure too many."

"I don't think it's quite the same," He still sounded hesitant as he removed the last bandage and gently smoothed her chest fur out. "Okay, how's that feeling?"

Twilight frowned slightly at his evasiveness, but didn't press him on it. He was giving enough familiar tells to show when he was working up to admitting something. She took a deep breath to try and gauge how her ribs were recovering, only to wince as a few of them still felt incredibly sore.

"That's going to need longer," She hissed, exhaling slowly to ease the pain. Already she could feel Spike closer to her, looking over her with concern. "I'm alright, just rushed it a bit."

"Okay...Okay," He nodded, managing to compose himself before taking the fresh bandages and starting to wrap her back up. "Have to make a note of that...So...Twilight, can I ask you something?"

This was it. The slight edge in his voice that disguised nerves. A near unnoticeable quiver in his hands as they secured the bandages against her. Breathing at a rate roughly two breaths a minute faster than normal. She hadn't seen this kind of tension from him since the last days before he realised his crush on Rarity had faded. Just like back then, coaxing it out of him would be counter-productive. Better to let him build up the nerve.

"Always." She replied simply, trying not to think about how tense the air was behind her. Sure enough, he kept working in silence for another minute before speaking again.

"Well...You know how some of the girls sometimes wonder about what we mean to each other. If I'm more like a son or a brother, things like that. I've never needed to ask before but, well, things change. Twilight, what exactly am I to you?"

Now it was Twilight's turn to tense up as she processed what she was hearing. She'd been prepared for a lot of possible questions he'd have wanted to ask, but this had never been one of them. For a few moments she sat there, mind blanking as she tried to think of a answer she might have idly thought of. Or even a time she'd even considered the question herself. She couldn't just not reply though, not with how Spike was leaning in, unable to hide his desire for an answer. The best she could do was just say what came to mind.

"I...I've never thought about it. Everypony else seems to think there's something. Either a son or a brother like you said, to those who don't know us and assume you're some kind of servant. It's...I-it's nothing like that though. You've been by my side as long as I can remember. It's not been the same as family though, it's like you're a part of me. It's deeper than any companionship, more than love, a state that transcends words. You're a part of me I couldn't live without, Spike. You always have been."

Getting those words out was more of a relief than she thought, like realising that part of herself had lifted a subtle weight. Twilight smiled slightly and let out a small sigh, waiting to see how Spike reacted. If it would match what she believed he was getting at. He remained silent at first, finishing up with the bandages on her torso and gathering the ones for her hooves.

"Couldn't live without me...Yeah, that's about as good as I hoped for," He said to himself, barely audible as he gently took her front right hoof in his hand and began unwrapping the bandages there. "Take the small victory, keep yourself steady."

"Spike..." She said cautiously, looking up as he leaned in closer for a better angle. She still didn't want to pressure him, but he was looking increasingly flustered. If nothing else, his mind was clearly wandering from the task. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Well...It's something I'm still not sure about. I've talked about it a lot with Ember but she hasn't been much help. Apparently dragons as a species don't really do 'love' for others, it's not the same as it was with Rarity and yet I know there's something more to what I feel for you. Som...Eep."

Twilight's jaw dropped slightly as she heard him let it slip. Yet, a small part of her didn't feel surprised. He'd been keeping himself increasingly close over the past year, from being extra diligent in his assistance to literally carrying her during her low moments. At the time she'd simply chalked it up to him trying to help more when she needed it, but looking back...He'd been going above and beyond repeatedly. Making sure she was as happy as she could manage, managing to calm her during her worst freakouts, even throwing himself into situations he had no guarantee of surviving to ensure her safety. Both of his injuries had come from directly protecting her after all. Not to mention, even as she looked up at him, he had that glint in his eyes. There was no mistaking his feelings.

Yet, how was she supposed to respond to that? She couldn't exactly return his feelings when she had never even thought about what they were. But by her answer, she already considered them soulmates. Her mind was suddenly flooded with conflicting thoughts and theories on what she could say, chasing each other round to the point that she couldn't make heads or tails of them. Only one idea remained clear amid her turbulent mind: Spike deserved some comfort after all he had been through for her. Plus, in her current state, she didn't mind the caring attention.

"I don't know if it's the same way but, I love you too." She replied, booping his chin with her nose. He tensed up again at that, though there was a somewhat goofy and adorable smile growing on his face.

"Now that's as good as I could hope for." He chuckled softly, shifting slightly to keep working on her hooves.

"Yeah...That went better than I'd feared."

For the first time since she'd woken up, Twilight felt genuinely calm inside. Spike's feather-light handling was keeping any pressure off her front, eliminating the discomfort of before. His mere presence was as soothing as ever. Feeling the larger dragon around her, helping her back to her old self...She leaned back against him slightly and felt herself relax slightly. Maybe, at this rate, they really would be able to find some of that old peace in the wake of the chaos.

Twilight Sparkle smiled to herself as she looked to the light of the setting sun. The closing of another chapter in Equestria's history.

The End