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Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 1: "Shai Sideways: Psychic Detective."
Shai Sideways sat in her chair and sipped her coffee, ignoring the browbeaten faces of the two officers trying in vain to stare her down or the buzzing of the florescent lights in the precinct's interrogation room.
"Welp. Here I am again." she thought. This would be the fifth time this month that she had been taken into custody and accused of a crime. First week had been arson, second burglary, third kidnapping, and fourth grand theft.
This weeks flavor of the day was murder, first degree. Two victims, married couple. Of course Shai had known the best friend had done it, and like a responsible citizen called the police and told them exactly where they had to go to find their evidence and where the guilty party had stuffed himself in a miserable attempt to 'lay low.'
And of course, like always, her tip was too good. Obviously, she had to be an accomplice to the murderer; nopony else could have known the things she told them. It was impossible!
"No", she had told them, "It's very possible, for me at least."
"Oh really?" they had asked. "And what makes you so special?"
And she had told them the truth.
"Psychic powers?" asked the mean looking head detective stallion in front of her. "You must think we're stupid."
"Not at all, detective Manners." Shai said plainly. A smile curled onto her lips. "But, the night is young."
"You're honestly expecting us to believe that the reason you were able to tell us the murderer's identity, where the evidence was and even the brand of deodorant the guy wore," the blonde mare detective stopped, as if to think out her next words. "Is because you're psychic?"
Shai nodded. "That's what it says on my card."
The mare detective looked down once more at the black card Shai had given her when they took her in. Shai Sideways: Psychic Detective.
The mare kept looking down at it, as if it held some kind of proof that Shai was lying. But it looked genuine, maybe even more genuine than the precinct's own business cards.
Shai set her coffee down and sighed. "Can I go now? I'm sure I have a ton of cases that need my attention."
Manners slammed a hoof down on the table. "Not until you tell us the truth!" he demanded.
Shai didn't have time to deal with these guys. "Fine," she turned to look the detective right in the eyes, and it all came out.
"Psychic? Bah! Please, as if we haven't heard that one before. This mare's a fraud, no doubt about it."
These were Head Detective Manner's exact words. But he hadn't said them. He had thought them.
And Shai was the only one who could hear them perfectly.
"No doubts, huh?" Shai asked. She scanned through the jumble of thoughts in his head. She smiled. "Then how would I know that two weeks ago, you stole a Saturn bar off of your partner, detective Reese's desk and blamed Judy in the forensics apartment for it?"
Manner's gaped at her. "I...how did-" He looked up, Reese was now looking quite concerned.
Shai turned and looked at Reese. Her thoughts were better put together, but still as easy to read as the rest. "Or that when you told Reese that Judy had stolen her Saturn bar, Reese decided to steal the Guava Juice from Judy's desk as payback."
Both detectives simply stared at one another, mouths hung open. Manners quickly tried to regain his composure. "That, that doesn't prove anything!" he cried. "You must have glanced at the security cameras in the security room, is all."
Shai rolled her eyes. "Okay, how about this," she closed her eyes, and when she opened them back up, her eyes were as wide as they could possibly go, her pupils swollen to such a size they almost turned her sclera black. Both detectives looked alarmed, before her eyes returned to normal in an instant. She looked over at the door. "In ten seconds, the chief will come in here and ask Manners if he was through with the interrogation yet. He still has the report she needs done by Monday. Don't be late."
Manners looked worried, before he finally burst out laughing. "Oh really?" he laughed. "Wow, I mean I'll hand it to you; you certainly don't hold back with this ploy do you? But, as I thought, you're just a-
At that exact second (about the end of 10 seconds to be exact) Chief Mazra opened the door. "Manners?" she asked, her voice cold and hard.
Manners put on his best butt kissing face. "Yes, ma'am?" he asked eagerly.
"Are you through with this interrogation yet?"
Manner's breath caught in his throat. "Ugh, I-"
"You still have that report I need done by Monday; don't be late." and she slammed the door.
The blood had drained from Manner's face as he stared at the closed door, mouth agape. Reese had her hooves up to her mouth, utterly stunned, and a little bit horrified.
They both turned to slowly face Shai.
She only rolled her eyes again, more than a little annoyed. "So...can I go now?"
Shai Sideways smoothed out the creases on her red trench coat, and adjusted the red clip keeping her navy blue bangs out of her eyes. As she made her way down the steps of PPD precinct fourteen, a cold voice called out to her from behind.
"Not so fast, Ms. sideways." Shai turned around already knowing it was Chief Mazra. "I'm Mazra, chief of police of the PPD and precinct fourteen."
"Nice to meet you." said Shai.
"I heard about what you did in there."
"Yes. Your welcome." Shai turned to leave.
"That wasn't the phrase I was going to use." Shai turned back around. Mazra wasn't smiling. "I was going to say improbable; possible...yet unlikely."
Shai looked at her. "Is it okay that I'm still taking this as a compliment?" she asked.
Mazra actually smiled at that. "I pulled your file," she said. "Top of your class at the Royal Canterlot University. You practically ran the criminal justice program; seven masters and graduation with honors. Very impressive."
Shai looked confused. "You're still complimenting me right?"
"And then there's your work as a detective," Mazra said ignoring her once more. "Perfect case record; not a single unsolved case under your belt. No complaints. They all say you're the best."
"They're right." said Shai. "Forgive me, is this going anywhere, Chief Mazra?"
Mazra gave Shai a long hard look before answering. "Are you familiar with the Maxentier family?"
Shai nodded. "Of course, they're the second richest family in Ponyville next to the Riches. Why?"
"There's been a kidnapping. The Gilded Griffin over in Manehatten."
"I've already been falsely accused of kidnapping this month, Chief Mazra." said Shai. "Can it wait till next month?"
Mazra shook her head. "Actually," she smiled again. "I would like you to help us with it."
Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 2: "The Missing Heiress."
Two hours later, Shai was strolling in through the golden double doors of the fanciest hotel in all Manehatten. The Gilded Griffin.
Mazra had briefed her on the train. The only daughter of the wealthy Maxentier family, Rosalina Maxentier, had disappeared from her suite on the top floor of the Gilded Griffin. No witnesses, and no one saw anyone leave. The police had been trying to get clearance from the hotel's all-griffin management to conduct their investigation, and none of it helped to calm the nerves of the poor Mr and Mrs. Maxentier, who were told to wait in the lobby till the police got everything under control.
Concerned guests, all dressed in tuxes and gowns lined the walls of the lobby, with cops scrambling around arguing with gold mask wearing griffins who seemed adamant that the police carry out their investigation in a more orderly manner. Speaking of Manners, the head detective who was also here, could be seen arguing with the manager of the hotel, using far more coarse language than he needed to.
"Apparently this guy had been named based on what he lacked." thought Shai as she walked taking in the amazing splendor of the lobby.
Manners spotted her and immediately stomped over to her. "Oh Luna, what the hell are you doing here?" he snapped.
"Solving a kidnapping," replied Shai not missing a beat. "And you, I can see your busy being rude to the griffins who work so hard to maintain such a lovely establishment." Shai turned to the manager. "My apologies, sir; he hasn't had, or stolen , his Saturn Bar yet today. Makes him a little cranky."
Manners was about to retort, but was called by one of the nearby officers. He glanced back at her as he left. "This isn't over!" he yelled.
"And yet, you're the one walking away." Shai remarked. She turned back to the manager. "Would you be so kind as to point out the Maxentiers for me? It would be hard to find them in this crowd, even with psychic powers."
The griffin looked at her oddly, but nonetheless pointed out the wealthy couple sitting together at the bar near the back of the lobby. Burly bodyguards patrolled around them. That was them alright.
Shai approached them only to be stopped by one of the bodyguards. "Sorry, ma'am. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask-"
She read his boorish thoughts in an instant. "Me to please move along, as the family doesn't want to be disturbed unless it concerns their missing daughter?" she finished for him. "Is that what you were going to say? Don't answer, I know it was."
Shai looked over at Mr. Maxentier. A handsome aged stallion in a black suit and cowboy hat with a white mustache and perfectly combed hair to match. "Mr. Maxenteir? As a matter of fact this does concern your daughter." she took out the badge Mazra had given her and held it up. "My name is Shai Sideways, I'm a psychic detective. I was asked to aid the police to help you find your daughter."
At that, Mr. Maxentier nodded to the bodyguard. "It's alright Jerome, let her through." he spoke in a voice as rich as the rest of him. Like listening to leather.
Shai approached the couple. "Mr. and Mrs. Maxentier, I know you are both going through a hard time right now, but is it alright if I ask you some questions?"
"Of course. Anything to get our Rosalina back, detective." Mrs. Maxentier sobbed. Mr Maxentier comforted his wife as he nodded in agreement.
Shai scanned through his thoughts. "You're in the property buisness, Mr. Maxentier? You own several estate firms back west, correct?"
"Why, yes I do." he sounded impressed. "How did you know that?"
"Lucky guess, may I ask what brought you to Manehattan?"
"Business, as usual. I was meeting with the owners of this hotel to discuss a partnership with the new resort I plan to build in town."
"And they agreed?"
"Don't rightly care now. After Rosalina, not a single other thought has gone through my skull other than getting her back in my arms."
"I understand. When did you first notice she was gone?"
"Early morning, around breakfast. I was meeting with the managers in the dining room, just off the west wing. I had told her to wait in her room till I got back. I promised her we would all go out for ice cream after I was done. But when we came back, she was gone. Vanished into thin air."
"Did anyone see her leave her room?"
"No. I had my guards practically ripping up the carpets looking for her, but nopony saw her leave at any time. More than that I had that wing under surveillance the whole time I was gone. And yet despite all that..." Shai saw tears forming in his eyes. "I still couldn't protect my little girl."
"Don't think like that, Mr. Maxenteir. I'll find her I swear it."
"You do that," he said holding back sobs, "and I'll pay you enough money to build a hotel of your own, that's a promise."
Shai had already been assured by Mazra that she would receive substantial compensation for her help with the case, but that didn't sound too bad either. Regardless of money, Shai knew the only thing that mattered was bringing Rosalina Maxentier back to her family.
"I'll do everything I can." she assured him. "Do you have any leads where I can begin? Have you spoken to anyone recently?"
"The last person I talked to was that one griffin in a top hat. Name of Morgan, I believe. Helps run this place and that fancy Talon Lodge, they're so famous for."
He said those words with enough disdain to get Shai to read his mind again. "Those damned griffins, I swear to Celestia if they have anything to do with this, I'll raze this whole hotel!"
It seemed Mr. Maxentier was not at all trusting of the griffins who ran the show at the Gilded Griffin Hotel. He was even suspecting that they may have something to do with Rosalina's kidnapping. But was he right to suspect them? The masks they all wore certainly didn't help to make them all that trustworthy. But it was still only suspicion at the moment.
If Shai was going to get anywhere, she had to find Morgan. Perhaps he could shine some light on things.
After reading a few minds of the waiters, Shai found out that Morgan was currently in the southeast wing of the hotel.
Heading that way, she followed a long hallway to another room, a large vaulted lobby, decorated to look as if it was taken from a regal palace. She could practically smell the money burning in the furnaces as she passed. Looking down she saw a blue carpet, emblazoned with crowns, leading to a desk on the other side of the lobby.
Here, wearing a top hat and a tail coat, stood Morgan.
She was about to walk up to him, then she saw them. Ghostly blue letters hovered over Morgan's head, spelling out pieces of information about Morgan for her to use. They read:
He's a liar.
Don't trust him.
He hides a dark secret.
Another ability of hers had kicked in. It allowed her to receive information from the future regarding a person or object, appearing in the form of ghostly blue letters visible only to her. She had no idea where this information came from and it wasn't always clear but it was never wrong.
And because of this hint, she now knew she couldn't ever trust Morgan. And it was now almost guaranteed he had something to do with the kidnapping.
But as she read his mind. "Huh. The seating arrangements in the main atrium." she read. 'Keeping your mind on other things, Morgan? Clever. But that only makes this more fun for me."
"How may I be of service, madam?" he asked politely as she approached.
She feigned the role of a tourist. "Oh, hello!" she said in a cheery voice. "Sorry to bother you, but I was in the lobby, and I was hearing a lot about something, about a....missing person?"
"Now don't you worry about that madam." he said quickly. "I assure you we already have someone looking into it."
"Oh thank goodness." Shai fake sighed with relief. "I was worried for a sec. Thank you so much Mr--I'm sorry what was your name sir?"
"Morgan, my dear." he bowed politely. "Please if there is anything I can help you with, you have only to let me know."
'Well, I don't mean to be nosy, but I have heard about your organization, the Talon lodge so many times, and with so many good things said too!" she pretended to be impressed. Morgan was eating it up. "Would you please tell me a bit more about it?"
"My, what a popular question lately." he chuckled. "I suppose it's only natural to see us and wonder what makes us so special." (She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from laughing at that) "The Talon Lodge," he continued, "has only just made itself known to the public, of course, but our pedigree was established over generations. Were we always so refined? I'd be lying if I said yes, but I've always felt we were destined for a place atop modern society, and well...here we are!" he chuckled again. Shai wanted to punch him. Hard.
Wow this guy. Shai had never met a griffin with his beak so far up his own ass in her life. But reading his mind was useless and he obviously wasn't going to say anything to her directly. She knew he was hiding something, but her investigation would have to continue elsewhere. Plus anything that got her away from Morgan seemed like a good idea to her.
"Thank you so much for enlightening me, Mr. Morgan." she fake swooned. "I should return to my friends now, but I do hope we meet again! Ciao!"
"I as well, my dear. Enjoy your stay."
After enjoying Morgan's 'charming ' conversation, Shai decided to explore the rest of the lobby.
To the east of Morgan's station was a doorway leading to a backroom. Going through she spotted an elevator off in the distance, and a locked door to the south east. She could easily have picked it, but not with so many Talon Lodge griffins patrolling the halls. Not worth the trouble.
For now, she headed over to the elevator. It had only one stop, and the sign above told her what that stop was. Gilded Griffin Penthouse Suite. She made another note of that, then headed back into the lobby.
Moving to the southwest wing she fake smiled at some passing griffins, as she entered another vaulted hallway. To the right of her, was a barricaded door. The sign on the outside said Talon Lodge in fancy gold lettering. They must have conducted meetings or perhaps rituals in there? They were a secret society after all.
Turning away from the doors, Shai spotted two double doors to the hotel rooms. Rosalina had disappeared from the penthouse suite on the top floor, as that's where the family was staying. But it didn't hurt to check out the other rooms as well; being thorough was one of Shai's specialties.
Going through the doors, Shai climbed some stairs to the guest room level. Another luxurious vaulted hallway. She saw plenty of guests walking around outside and lounging in chairs in the hall. To the right she saw a door that was locked from the outside. It could only opened with a key. This couldn't have been someone's room...could it?
After making sure no one was looking, she stepped up and put a hoof to the door. Her stomach suddenly heaved, she clutched at her mouth to keep herself from throwing up; the feeling was so powerful it nearly knocked the wind out of her. Backing away from the door, Shai managed to regain her breath, keeping her lunch down in the process.
She eyed the door like it was suddenly alive. There was something horrible behind that door. She knew that for certain. But she had no way in. She would need to find the key to see what was waiting on the other side. She looked up. The sign read 221. She'd remember.
Wanting to get as far away from the door and the horrible aura surrounding it as possible, Shai headed down to the end of the hallway where the doors to the bathhouse were wide open for her to enter through.
The bathhouse was stunning. A curtain sculpture on the ceiling reflecting the stars of the night sky overlooked a crystal clear Olympic sized pool that was so clean, it looked empty. But the guests lounging and swimming around in it, told her otherwise. The steam from the water helped to ease the feeling in her stomach.
Feeling better, she continued to explore the bathhouse. She saw lockers lining the halls, lounge chairs where many guests were reclining and to the south she found a door that lead to a steam room. She saw cider bottles and personal effects some guests had left but nothing too interesting.
Going through a second door, she entered a small sauna. Here she found bottles of wine scattered about. "Nothing like getting drunk, while getting sweaty." she thought, thoroughly grossed out. Backing out of the sauna and steam room, she headed around the pool to the left and saw a refreshment corner, but strangely there was no one attending it. She spotted several Cinnicola crates, a refrigerator, and some bottles of fine cider and wine on a shelf. Sadly, there was no server to serve her, so she moved on.
Heading through a set of double doors, Shai saw that it put her out in a small room on the other side of Morgan's desk in the lobby. Peeking around the corner she spotted the smug griffin going over what looked like guest records at his desk. So this was just the other side of the lobby.
Suddenly, the smell of food caught her nose. Following it, she spotted a set of double doors directly across from her. These were the doors to the hotel's resident restaurant, The Gourmet. Looking around for so long had taken it's toll on her energy and she was starting to feel peckish. Though she highly doubted she would be able to afford even the crumbs off the ground in The Gourmet. Maybe she would head out to the vending machine in the parking lot instead.
But then she saw them again. Hovering above the doors to the Gourmet.
Go inside.
Heading inside Shai found herself in the lobby of a beautiful restaurant. Granite and marble walls, lush dark green drapes, and oddly enough a beautiful pegasus mare in a black dress, serving as hostess of The Gourmet.
Shai approached her and the mare bowed her head respectfully. "Welcome to The Gourmet. My name is Margaret, and I will be your hostess this evening. Table for one ma'am?"
Shai' stomach demanded she say yes, but her wallet won the argument. "Thank you, but I was actually hoping to ask you some questions. Are you busy?"
"Not at all. Whatever I can do to make your stay more enjoyable." she was extremely polite.
"Do you work here, ms. Margaret?"
"I do, but I would hardly call it work." she replied. "I think of myself as a caretaker rather than a common laborer. I suppose it can be called a labor of love, if it must be called labor at all."
"I'm inclined to agree." Shai loved her job too much for it to be called work as well. "But what I really wanted to ask you about was the missing girl?"
Margaret suddenly looked annoyed. "This again? I thought this was all settled. I answered every one of that detective's questions to his satisfaction and gave all the help I could." she sighed. "I know our reputation hasn't always been spotless, but that's all in the past now. How some people can't get over it is beyond me."
She suddenly looked deadly serious as she locked eyes with Shai. "For the last time, The Talon Lodge has never and will never consume equine flesh for any reason. Why would I, an equine myself, have joined an organization like that? My life would be in grave danger. if that were the case."
Shai nearly fell over. "Wait what?? Did...did she just say-" she couldn't even think out the words.
"I'm sorry but," Shai put both hooves on the desk and locked eyes with her. "Did you just say that The Talon Lodge used to eat ....ponies? Is that what I heard?"
"Now didn't I just say that was just speculation?" Margaret looked offended. "Honestly the rumors you people will-"
"Yeah, no, I'm done playing nice." Shai leaned over the desk making Margaret jump back. "You just said something about the griffins running this place, consuming equine flesh; eating damned ponies, that's what that means, that can't ever mean anything else. Why did you just say that? Tell me right now."
Margaret fell silent, looking shocked and mortified. But Shai could read through her mind in a second. She was only thinking one thing. "Can't talk about the old ways, I was given instructions!"
"The old ways, what are they?" asked Shai.
Margaret gasped. "How...how could you possibly-"
"What are they and why aren't you allowed to talk about them?"
Margaret had no choice. "I am forbidden to speak of it but...the Talon Lodge wasn't always called that. There was another time, a dark time, when they went by a different name. And they had...very different traditions." she looked at Shai with a pleading look. "But that's all changed now! They've evolved past those times. I'm proof that those days are behind us." she sounded almost desperate. Like she had to believe it.
So it was true. The Talon Lodge really did used to eat ponies; probably a hunting tradition of early griffin tribes. The world was very different back then, obviously it wasn't too much a big deal back then. But....today? In our civilized age? There would be a war over something like this. And not only that but Shai now knew that there was in fact two missing people in the hotel.
So who was the other?
"Who was this detective you talked to about the disappearance?"
Margaret had regained her composure quite quickly. "There was a detective who came in here last week. He'd been hired by a young man whose bride to be went missing during their stay here." she explained. "Rather pointless; it's obvious she got cold feet and ran off. Poor dear."
Shai admitted that was indeed one possible explanation. But she wasn't talking about a bride to be.
"I'm actually a detective myself," Shai showed her her badge," and I'm investigating another disappearance. Rosalina Maxentier. Went missing recently, actually."
Margaret looked mortified. "Mr. Maxentier's daughter is missing??" she looked sick. "I...this can't be. Two disappearances in my hotel? What will people say?! I'm going to have a word with the head of security on the premises."
"You do that, but before you do I have one more thing to ask you."
"Of course, what is it?"
"You said there was another detective investigating this missing bride. Is there any chance I could talk to him?"
"Well...yes, actually. I don't think he's checked out yet. I had Morgan offer him a complimentary room for as long as he needed during his investigation. Please talk with him and tell him I sent you for the room key. I'm sure he'll cooperate."
"Oh. I'm sure he will too." Shai snarked. "Thank you Margaret. Would it be alright if I have a look around the restaurant as well?"
"By all means, detective." she said politely. "Anything to put this heinous business behind us."
Moving into the dining room, Shai saw that the tables were on a lower level, and the many patrons were having portions so small she was surprised they weren't using microscopes to eat them. None of them paid her any mind.
Except one. A hoof clamped onto her shoulder, and she glanced back to see it was Manners. He didn't look happy to see her. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm trying to put together an investigation and you're just waltzing around the hotel like you own the place!"
"What makes you say that?"
"Because officers have seen you walking around, outside our supervision! You are here under police jurisdiction, you don't get to just walk around as you like!"
"I'm under no one's jurisdiction, Manners." Shai said cooly. "Plus, I was hired by the Maxentier family to find their daughter, personally. So by that logic, it's actually you who is interrupting my investigation."
Manners looked even angrier. He stuck a hoof in her face. "Look," he snarled. "I don't care what kind of psychic-nonsense you're trying to sell off on people, but this is my investigation. And I don't need you here, making things-"
"Is everything alright here, Manners?" It was chief Mazra.
Manners looked at her and tried to smile. "Chief! Um, yes of course, I was just telling Sideways that we don't need her to look around the restaurant, as we already have a team combing over the place."
"On who's authority, Manners?" Mazra probed, eyeing him. "Sideways is conducting her own investigation, it's independent of your own, you shouldn't have a problem here."
"B-But, ma'am, she's just been wandering around the hotel!" Manners stammered. "She hasn't actually been investigating any-"
"Yeah gonna stop you right there." Shai interrupted. she looked over at Mazra. "Can I talk to you for a moment chief?"
"Is it important?" asked Mazra.
"Urgent. Life or death." said Shai.
Mazra nodded and they left Manners there to stammer some more while Reese tried in vain to calm him down. When they were finally out of earshot of the restaurant, huddled near the coat room, Shai told her everything.
When she had finished, Mazra looked mortified. "Dear Celestia," she gasped. "And this is all true? Your sure of it?"
"Margaret said they used to eat equine flesh, back when they were a tribe. She swears up and down that those days are past."
Mazra finished for her. "But two ponies disappearing in the same hotel, and one happening just last week." she shook her head. "No, it's too much of a coincidence. And you can confirm this from Margaret?"
Shai pointed to Margaret who was sorting through dinner menus at the hostess desk. "You can go ask her yourself. She told me everything; and she wasn't lying either, in her mind or her words. It's all true, she knows it and she's scared."
Mazra thought hard for a moment. Things had gone from a fifty to a hundred, if not a thousand pretty damn quickly. She wasn't prepared for something like this to be happening. "Do you have any leads?"
"I do. A detective is staying here at the hotel. He was looking into the missing bride from last week. I was going to go talk to him."
"Good. Do that." Mazra ordered. "Find him, get everything he has on this, and report back to me. I'll be in the lobby; until we can confirm that these rumors are just that, I don't want anyone else wandering this hotel. You find him and then report right back to me, understood?"
"Understood, Chief." Shai nodded.
"Good." Mazra nodded back. "Now get moving!"
Shai continued to investigate The Gourmet while Mazra escorted Manners, Reese and the police team outside and back to the lobby. Guess she knew Shai would be fine thanks to her abilities. And she was right.
Heading up from the diner level, Shai saw a drawn green curtain, with big neon letters that read 'The Gourmet (Super fancy) and then moving around to the east section of the room, she saw a gourmet food supplier.
As she approached, the mask wearing griffin behind the counter acknowledged her. "My, you look positively famished, madam!" he cried. "We simply can't have that. What can I get you?"
At first Shai was going to ignore him, but then she had a thought. If the rumors were true....then what did that have to say about the food they served here? It wasn't worth the risk of ignoring it.
"Actually, my good sir." Shai feigned a regal air. "May I trouble you for some information regarding the food served here?"
Shai grilled him over everything he served but it all looked perfectly normal. And overpriced. As she listened to him drone on about the 'tenderness of the brisket' or the 'freshness of the zucchini', Shai spotted behind him was a door to the kitchens. Locked with a heavy brass lock. What were they hiding back there that they needed to practically chain the doors shut?
She'd find out sooner or later. For now, it was time to check in with Morgan. Margaret had said that Morgan had the key to the investigator's room, and that he would happily give it to her.
Shai left the Gourmet, wondering if that was a good thing.
"Ah, hello again miss." Morgan looked rather happy to see Shai again. Only to her that meant that her acting skills were still top notch. "What can I do for you?"
"Margaret said you had given a free room to a private detective." said Shai not putting on an act this time. "The one who was investigating the missing bride."
"Ah yes, I remember the gentleman." said Morgan nodding. "And that poor bride. Such an awful thing; I do hope he finds her whereabouts."
He then looked at her, a searching glint in his eye. "If I might pry, detective Sideways , have you found something that will help his investigation?"
Of course he had found out from the police who she was. But that didn't bother her. She wasn't going to tell him anything. "Actually, I just need to speak with him." she lied.
"Of course, of course." he nodded. "Ordinarily we don't give out guest information, but I think given the circumstances, he'll definitely want to speak with you, detective."
Morgan checked the hotel guest records. "Hmmm....it appears he hasn't checked out yet. Room 221, if you head back to the hotel rooms, his room will be one floor above you after you exit the lobby. I hope we can put this whole matter to rest at last." With that he dropped the room key into Shai's hoof. "Have a good day."
But Shai wasn't listening. 221. She had remembered.
Shai made her way back from the lobby to the door. The door with something horrible behind it.
The door that was this detective's room.
Shai turned the key, unlocked the door, went inside and stopped in her tracks.
At the far end of the room, near the bed laid the detective faced down on the ground, dead.
Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 3: "The Plot Thickens."
Shai pocketed the key, closed the door and went over to the body.
The room was in shambles, pieces of broken furniture and glass littered the floors, a shattered mirror barely clinged to the wall, the bed was torn to shreds, and blood painted the left wall, splattered sideways across the paneling. A broken lamp barely blinking was the only source of light in the room.
"In a hotel room. Not even a private one." Shai said shaking her head. "Someone was desperate to off this guy."
Kneeling down and examining the body, Shai closed his eyes out of respect then searched his jacket. On the inside pocket, she found a business card and a slip of paper.
The business card read simply Steven West: Private Investigator . At least now she knew his name.
Checking the slip of paper, she saw it was stationary from the hotel. And it had a note scrawled across the left corner. Steam room. 4 pm.
The steam room. So, West was planning on being in the steam room at four. But why? "To meet with someone" she thought. Someone who would have known where the steam room was and could get there at a precise time without trouble. Shai could only think that an employee would have that level of freedom and access. Certainly no ordinary guest would be able to come and go as they please, and the PPD's investigation only began that morning. It had to be one of the staff in the hotel.
Which meant; West had a mole on the inside.
As Shai pondered the thought, she felt another presence enter the room. Two of the mask wearing griffins from the lobby. And they were armed.
Now, Shai was not a fighter. She had denied taking combat training, and during her days in the criminal justice program, she even skipped all the close quarters classes as extracurricular. Instead she focused on her studies, which allowed her to ace all of her classes by the end of the semester.
Because of that, most people thought that Shai couldn't fight at all. But the great thing about having psychic powers was she never needed to.
One of the assailants, armed with a metal baton, took a swing, and then looked on in horror as he had somehow missed his target completely and struck the shin of his partner. And by the sound of his screaming, it had been rather hard.
He looked at Shai who suddenly stood there across from him looking bored.
He looked at his baton. Then at Shai. She was still bored.
He took another swing. Then another. And another. But every swing only hit air. It was as if Shai wasn't even there at all, dodging every single move without even trying.
"How the hell's she so fast!?" he yelled in his head.
He swung again.
Left.
Right.
Duck.
Right
Shai saw every single swing before they swung. Deciding to end it she then moved to the right, letting him smash into the sparking lamp behind her, electrocuting himself, and falling over in a heap on the ground.
The other one, now off the ground only looked on in anger, before grabbing his baton off the ground, and charged at Shai. But Shai didn't dodge this time. The end of the baton barely missed her cheek, which she didn't even bat an eye at.
Then he was going in for a low blow, but she caught his arm before it even moved, and delivered a hard kick to his now definitely broken shin, causing him to reel backwards. He stumbled back, slipped on the baton of the other assailant, fell back, hit his head on the broken table and laid still.
Shai looked at the two dead assailants on the ground and shook her head. Her powers were great. But damn if they didn't make fighting so painfully predictable .
Shai moved the bodies into the corner and examined the rest of the room. It was now obvious who had killed West, as it was just as obvious who sent them to kill her.
There was only three people who knew she would be coming here, and Shai didn't know Mazra or Margaret well enough to accuse them just yet, so that left Morgan as the only possible person who could have sent these assailants to silence her. Just as they had with West.
So this left a major question. West had an informant, and informant he was planning to meet with at four, before he was killed by Morgan's goons. So who was it? She needed a name at least. Even if she did go to meet this informant herself, they would probably never trust her unless she at least knew their name.
Searching the entire room top to bottom Shai found absolutely nothing that could shine some light on the identity of West's informant. Except West himself.
But detective West was, of course, long since passed. From the dried blood stain around the head and the state of the body, it was clear he had been dead for several hours now. To an ordinary detective, he could offer no help.
However to Shai he was still very much useful. She never liked doing it, and it left her in a disoriented state for a bit, but if she was going to get info from West, this was the only option.
She was going to have to briefly enter The Crossroads and speak to West from beyond the grave.
Shai sat down, back straight, arms down, and closed her eyes. All sound in the room, in the hotel vanished, leaving silence so deafening it was like torture to the ears.
One second passed.
Then two.
Then three.
Shai opened her eyes, and saw that the world was gone. Replaced by a vast empty void that stretched beyond the capacity of sight. On the ground a glowing white line appeared from the nothingness and lead her to what looked like a street. Streetlights illuminated the entire expanse of it, and the sign read only one word: The Crossroads . She walked across the road and at once found herself on the corner of the sidewalk in a busy, bustling otherworldly main street, with the spirits of the recent and long deceased going about their business and enjoying their afterlives.
This was not the first time Shai had visited the land of the dead, and in a twist of true irony, the place always felt very much alive . It was actually a bit of a shock every time to see a place meant to signify the end of one's life to look so colorful and full of commerce. The endless sequence of bold buildings appeared to be shoved together in what was apparently a fine show of geometry well studied by either a genius or a lunatic. Possibly both.
Curves shook up and into straight lines, tops capped by a triangle, a dome or a dollop of roof (depending on the storefront) while walls were textured by octagonal, triangular, and star like tile work. Chimneys were spirals of brick charging into the sky, doors were as tall as walls and nearly as wide and all the colors from the deep blue sky to the magenta of the grass, were bright, sharp and endless.
Shai began to walk down a string of streets woven together in no particular fashion and for no particular reason other than to apparently induce headaches, when a cheery voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Shai!"
"Oh no."
Shai turned to see what appeared to be an earth pony mare, a very pretty one at that, with a flowing gold mane, tan coat and wearing the frilliest dress made from flowers possibly ever created anywhere, in either plane of existence.
Shai sighed to herself before putting on a fake smile. "Hello again, Furthermore."
Furthermore was a very high class level spirit that was in charge of making sure only the dead could enter the realm of the dead. However the first time Shai visited the land of the dead as a child, she met Furthermore and befriended her, the spirit never having a living friend before was overjoyed, and would frequently fudge the rules to make sure she would get to see Shai whenever possible.
It was thanks to Furthermore that Shai wasn't immediately kicked out of the afterlife when she crossed over. And Shai knew having a friend that powerful would be useful, and she generally did think of her as a friend. However there was always one thing that always got under Shai's skin when she visited...
"Did you die yet?" asked Furthermore eagerly. "Maybe fell off a cliff? Choked on a banana? Ooh! Run over by a roving band of ostriches!"
"No, Furthermore, I am still very much alive." Shai grunted. "I'm here on business."
"Aww." Furthermore moaned. "Dang it! I was hoping you were dead. Oh well, I guess I'll keep waiting. Hooves crossed as always!"
"I appreciate that, really." said Shai. " But back to the business part: I need to speak to someone who died recently. A detective Steven West."
Furthermore thought for a moment. "Oh! I remember him! Yes, he arrived here yesterday. When we told him he was dead, he asked for two things then headed to the diner."
"What two things did he ask for?"
"A cup of black coffee and the strongest form of alcohol we could find." replied Furthermore. "We ended up giving him a jug of ethanol and off to the diner he went for his coffee. He's been there ever since."
"Thanks."
"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked eagerly.
"Um....sure."
Steven West, who had been bludgeoned to death just yesterday, was now enjoying his new afterlife with black coffee mixed with industrial ethanol (he was already dead, what did he care?) when Shai and Furthermore approached him at the counter.
"Detective Steven West?"
"That's right." said West. "And to whom do I have the pleasure?"
"Shai Sideways, psychic detective." she answered. "This is Furthermore. You've met."
"I told you you were dead!"
"Yes, you did. Thanks for that."
"Your welcome!"
Shai took the note from her pocket and showed it to West. "Can you tell me the name of your informant, the one you were going to meet today at four?"
He looked at it and chuckled as he sipped his coffee. "Going after Morgan yourself, huh?"
"Him and anyone else behind this."
He nodded. "Good. alright fine; his name is Clarence. He's a bellhop at the hotel." setting his mug down he turned to look her in the eyes. "He's been feeding me all kinds of things about kidnappings, secret doors in guest rooms and how nopony is allowed anywhere near the kitchens. He wants it to stop, all of it. Good kid. Risked his neck to get me info."
Clarence. That's what she needed. Someone who could tell her everything that was really going on. And now she had it.
"Before I go, do you mind if I ask you some questions?"
"I'm dead kid," he chuckled. "Ain't got nothin but time now. Shoot."
"You mentioned secret doors in the guest rooms. Do you mean that each of the rooms in the hotel have a hidden passage of some kind?"
"I found one of their holes in the suite that the bride and her fiance were staying in." he explained. "I figured that it was the only one. I realized too late that every room had them, each one in a different spot. Including my own room. That night, I went to my room to go over some notes, heard someone behind me, then crack . I woke up here."
So that was how they got the jump on a trained investigator like West. They had snuck into his room via one of these passages and killed him while he had his back turned. Cowardly. He must have been getting close to something they couldn't afford for him to find out.
"What did you find out during your investigation?"
"They keep their kitchens under lock and key; no guest is ever allowed back there. I had heard a few rumors about it, but they all just said that it was because their head chef didn't want anypony back there out of fear they would get their grubby hooves on all the fresh ingredients."
"Whose this head chef?"
"A real charmer of a griffin named Jacques. I've heard nothing but bad things about his attitude, but he's apparently a damn good chef. He's invented all kinds of world class recipes, even wrote a cookbook. Still, fame doesn't change anything if your an ass to people."
"What about the Talon Lodge?"
"I asked about that too. Talked to a miss Margaret all about them. Apparently they had only recently opened up membership to ponies. Margaret joined thanks to a recommendation from her friend Conner, the founder of the Manehattan chapter of the organization, and an all around good guy if you believe Margaret."
"I see," said Shai. That was why Margaret was so upset when Shai accused the Talon Lodge of still eating ponies. Because her friend Connor was literally the founder of the chapter! How would she react if her own friend, the one that got her into the group in the first place, turned out to be kidnapping ponies and eating them? Her heart wouldn't be able to take it.
"What do you think about Morgan?"
West shook his head in disgust. "A snake in a top hat, griffin or not." he snapped. "Could tell he was lying through his beak the whole time; never trusted him."
"You were right not to," Shai said thinking to herself. "Thank you for you time, detective West. I'll leave you in peace now."
"Thank you. But hey, one last thing before you go."
"Yes?"
"Tell my kids what happened to their pop. They deserve to know. Their photos are in my wallet, you have my blessing to take them."
"Of course. I'll let them know." Shai nodded. "Have a nice afterlife, detective."
"Thanks. Come back and visit, sometime eh?" he joked. "Drinks are on me."
Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 4: "Don't Drink The Wine."
Back in the world of the living, Shai took a minute to catch her breath as her soul adjusted itself back into her body.
When she was able to stand up again, she gently took the photos from West's wallet pocket, and left the room to tell Mazra everything she had learned.
But first, she was going to have a chat with this Clarence.
Shai checked her watch as she sat in the vacant steam room. 4pm on the dot.
She waited. Then she heard the door open.
She turned to see a young griffin in a bellhop uniform, poke his head in and look over at her. "Who are you?" he asked eyeing her suspiciously.
"You first." said Shai leaning back.
"You mean you don't know?" he asked eagerly. "Oh, good. That's good; so they didn't send you after me." he sighed, looking relieved. He came in and took a seat across from Shai. He took a look around the room. "Um...where's detective West?"
"He couldn't make it." said Shai. "He sent me in his stead."
"What do you mean he couldn't make it? Where is he?"
Shai was hoping she wouldn't have to tell the poor guy this. "He's dead. I'm sorry."
Clarence choked up a bit. "D...Dead? No, no that can't be....who-"
"Morgan sent his goons after him." explained Shai. "Just like he sent them after me. Too bad for them."
Clarence rubbed his claws together, looking more nervous by the second. "So you know then. Damn it! They'll be watching everyone closer now, I knew this was a mistake!"
"Calm down." said Shai. "Just breathe, and tell me what you know. We can stop this, but you have to work with me."
"And why would I trust you?"
"Because I'm a detective too." Shai showed him her badge. "I was hired by the Maxentier family to find their daughter. I had heard about Steven from Margaret, but when I went to his room, he was already dead."
His eyebrows shot up. "How do you know his first name? He never told anyone that but me, said it was too dangerous to let anyone know."
"I'll explain later. For now, just tell me what you know."
He looked at her for a moment, going over the thought in his head. Then finally let out a sigh. "The bride, the one who went missing last week. I know what happened to her."
"And how do you know this?"
"I was changing the sheets in one of the rooms, when I stumbled onto a secret door into the next room behind the sofa." he explained. "I walked through just in time to see them knock her out, put her in a laundry bag, and put her in a laundry cart they wheeled away. I hid behind the other sofa, so they never saw me. But I knew if I ever told anyone, they'd have me killed."
"What are they really doing with these ponies?"
He looked sick as he told her. "A few months back, some of the Talon Lodge elites started meeting privately. Began talking about how we had lost our identity. I snuck in through a backdoor me and a friend of mine use to steal cider from the kitchens, and overheard them when they started talking about returning to the old ways. I expected them to just talk about changing our politics not....uhg."
He had stop a minute to calm himself. Then continued. "The Talon Lodge has been around for over two hundred years, and in that time we've strictly outlawed eating ponies. But...we weren't always the Talon Lodge."
Shai tapped her hoof nervously. "Let me guess; Morgan has regressed to the old ways."
"Him and a few of the others." Clarence explained. "They've taken many ponies over the last few weeks. They always target those with no clout, no name that the papers would recognize. Then they lock them in cages, till their...ugh, 'ready to prepare'. But it wasn't enough, lately they've been going for people on the streets of Manehatten, even in the damned hotel!"
Shai took a moment to compose her thoughts. So it was all true, just as she had guessed. Before they were the Talon Lodge, they were a very old griffin tribe out in world, that ritually practiced the consumption of ponies. And in today's age, they had to become civilized, adapt to the modern day lifestyle. But it seemed Morgan was trying to bring back the old ways .
"Why kidnap the Maxentier girl? Taking risks is one thing, but her father is already planning on razing the place if he finds out you guys were behind this."
"I know. She's alive, don't worry." he assured her. "After I found out what they were doing, I kept going down, making sure they couldn't actually cook and eat anypony. Little things, like stealing ingredients, ruining the broth, stuff that would take too much time to fix. They just kept them in the cages till next time."
That was why the kitchen had been locked up! Because Clarence had been stealing ingredients from the kitchens to prevent these lunatics from making a meal out of the ponies they kidnapped.
"That was very brave of you." said Shai. "But also foolish, you could've gotten spotted."
"I know." he nodded. "But I didn't have a choice, I wasn't going to let them do anything to our guests."
Shai smiled at that. "Steven was right. You are a good kid."
"Thanks. I just wish I could do more."
"How about telling me about where they're keeping her."
"I...I wish I could. I know she's not in the cells with the rest of the ponies. And I couldn't just ask either, I'm not supposed to know any of this stuff. But, I have an idea, that she's being kept near The Gourmet. Our head chef, Jacques has an obsession with fresh ingredients. I would check the freezer down in the cellar; that's where he prepares all the food."
"How can I get down there?"
"That's, actually the tricky part. You can't ."
"Why?"
"Because the only way down to the cellar is through the door in the back of the member's only section; the big barricaded door in the lobby. Only members of the Talon Lodge are allowed back there; if your caught, you'll get thrown out of the hotel, badge or no."
"Fine. So what do I have to do for them to let me in?"
He thought hard for a moment. "Well...you could ask Margaret to sponsor you as an honorary member. We only just opened up membership to ponies, so I think it would work. And she'll understand when you explain everything to her, just be gentle with-"
"It's fine." said Shai. "She, well, sort of already knows."
"Oh. I see." said Clarence shuffling his feet. "So, um, ms. Sideways?"
"Shai is fine."
"Okay. So Shai...any ideas on how to stop them? I've tried all I could but...I think we might be too late."
"What do you mean?"
"The lodge is holding a special dinner in their private section tonight at eight. Morgan has promised to make a speech and everything."
And at last the penny dropped. "That diabolical bastard." Shai growled through clenched teeth.
"What?"
She looked at him, anger fuming in her eyes. "Don't you get it? He's going to serve that poor girl up for dinner and have them all eat it. Then after everyone's eaten it, he'll tell them."
"What?!" Clarence stood up. "W-Why would he do that?"
"In his mind, there's no real way of punishing everyone, if everyone breaks the rule." said Shai. "He thinks that they'll have no choice but to bring the old ways back, just so they can live with themselves with that they had done."
Clarence looked sick again. "Oh Celestia...that...that's pure evil."
"Not surprising honestly. I already knew what kind of person Morgan was before I met him."
"We...we need to tell the police!"
"Not a chance. They catch wind that Mazra and the PPD are coming after them, they'll either kill her or take her someplace else to cover their tracks. We have to do this alone, it's the only way Rosalina can get out safely."
"Then, that means you have a plan, right?" He looked at Shai expectantly.
Shai smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Miss Shai! So good to see you again, what can I do for you?" Margaret put away her clipboard so she could talk with Shai.
"Hello again, Margaret. I actually have a favor I would like to ask you."
"By all means, what is it?"
"I want to join the Talon Lodge. I was told I needed a sponsor."
Margaret looked taken aback by this. "I..I wasn't expecting you to show interest, after I told--well, that doesn't matter now. I'm happy you've decided to join our ranks! And yes, you do need a sponsor; its how we maintain exclusivity, you see."
"Sure. So, will you sponsor me?"
"M-Me? Well..." she had to think hard on it for a moment. "I suppose it would be fine. I can tell Connor, and I'm sure he'd be happy to see more ponies wanting to join. You have my full support, ms. Shai. Welcome to the Talon Lodge."
She handed Shai what looked like an official membership packet. Inside was a pressed black gown, a golden mask fitted for a pony's muzzle, a golden pin emblazoned with a talon, and a pass into the member's only section of the Gilded Griffin hotel.
"I'll let everyone know of your new membership, right away."
"Great. Just don't tell them my name. I'm just another pony who wanted to join up."
"Oh! I see, keeping an air of mystery then. That's fine. Please let me know if you need anything at all, ms. Shai, oh! I mean initiate ."
With that, Shai had been inducted into the halls of the enemy; she was now a member of the Talon Lodge. But before she could put on her fancy new gown and mask, she needed to report to Mazra. It was time to finally bring the PPD up to speed on what was happening.
And she knew Mazra wouldn't like it.
Mazra's eyes had swollen to the size of dinner plates when Shai was finished filling her in. "I...I have no words." she sputtered. "This kind of thing could start a war!"
"I knew you wouldn't like it." Shai confirmed.
"Wouldn't like it!? " Mazra yelled. "I have half a mind to arrest this entire Celestia-damned hotel right now!" she stopped and took a moment to calm herself. "Griffins and ponies have been at peace for centuries, and these monsters are risking to throw it all out the window for, what, their sick traditions?"
"Not all of them" Shai added. "Just Morgan and a few others. We get Morgan, I bet they'll confess right away."
Mazra was beside herself. "You said you had a plan, right? That was why you aren't letting me break down those doors and arrest that freak right now?"
"Yes."
Mazra stuck a hoof to Shai's chest. "Then it better be a damned good one, Sideways. I am leaving this hotel with either those missing ponies in our care, or the asses of everyone responsible in a vice. Got it?"
"I can literally see the future, Chief." Shai reminded her. "I have it all up here; don't worry. Just get everyone ready for when I bring Rosalina out. Have a team out back behind the hotel and a few in front of the member's only section. When we walk through, take in everyone that comes through either door after us. The innocents will stay behind, confused. The guilty ones will try to save their asses and escape out the back or front."
"You're sure this will work, Sideways?"
"Again. Can see the literal future, Chief." Shai then took out her membership packet and headed for the ladies room. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed for dinner."
Ten minutes later, Shai emerged looking like she had been a guest of honor to a masquerade ball. Her coal black dress slid over her hips like water over a windscreen, just-so. Heads turned. Conversations stopped. Drinks were spilled. Monocles cracked against the marble floors.
She had to admit, she looked quite good in the dress. The mask , on the other hand, was the bane of her existence. But she kept it on as best she could for appearances.
As she made her way back over to the lobby, the spell had been broken. Conversations were restarted with polite coughs. Drinks were hastily downed. Monocles were picked up, quietly sworn at, and tossed into the golden trashcans.
If she was going to pull this off, she would need an alias; she couldn't risk Morgan finding out she was on to him. She thought one up: Cherry Merlot . It was short, it was fancy, and it was all she could come up with before she was stopped at the doors to the member's only section.
"Pass, madam?" asked the tall griffin guarding the door.
Shai handed him the pass from her packet.
He looked it over, nodded politely, then handed it back. "Welcome to the Talon Lodge, miss-"
"Cherry Merlot, my dear." said Shai in a voice that was not her own. But rather one would expect to come from a high class mare who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and didn't wear anything that didn't cost at least as much as a house. "Charmed." she added in the same regal tone.
"A pleasure to meet you, miss Merlot." he turned the key and opened the doors. "Dinner will be served at 8. You are free to do as you like till then."
Oh, she intended to. "Thank you dear. Have a lovely evening."
"You as well, madam Merlot."
The interior of the member's only section was almost as nice as the exterior, containing glazed marble walls with carefully painted gold decorations that ran around their edges and elegantly carved decorative frames on the doorways. Even here, though, the vain tendrils of the Talon Lodge could be seen. For every tasteful landscape that adorned the walls, there was another emblem of a golden talon.
Seated at the massive dinner table were at least 30 members of the Talon Lodge including Margaret, and a few other ponies amongst the crowd of griffins. They were all keeping themselves busy with conversation or reading books by the massive roaring fireplace.
Not a single one of them noticed 'Cherry Merlot', slip past them, and through the open doors to the kitchens.
Once she was through she carefully closed the door behind her, and tilted her mask up to read the sign on the wall. All workers must wash their claws/hooves before exiting the area. Thank you.
"Well, they may be trying to eat ponies, but at least they have good hygiene." hissed Shai bitterly. Moving away from the sign, she made her way further down the hall, until she reached some stairs down, leading into the cellar.
Climbing down the stairs, and entering the hall, Shai was stopped when a patrolling guard griffin called to her. "Hey!" he approached not at all calmly. "What are you doing down here?"
Shai said the first thing that came to her mind. "Pardon the intrusion, good sir. I am simply here to give chef Jacques the recipe he asked for."
His face twisted in confusion. "Recipe ?" he repeated. "What recipe? Jacques makes all his own recipes, everybody knows that."
"Not this one, dear. I was asked by him personally to make something that will put the Talon Lodge on the throne of cuisine. It is simply beyond world class, I assure you!"
He was buying it completely. "Truly?" he asked astonished. "I...well I had heard Jacques was preparing something special tonight, but...my word, I had no idea!" he bowed and stepped out of the way. "Please excuse me, madam, I'm terribly sorry for my rudeness."
"Not at all, dear. But I would ask that you not tell anyone about this; Jacques made it quite clear he wants this to be a surprise. You understand of course."
"Yes, of course!" he cried. "I shan't tell a soul. Please, go on ahead ma'am."
"Thank you." With that, Shai was able to make it into the next hallway and could now explore the place without trouble. The long tile-lined hallways stretched for quite a bit, with adjoining halls splitting off in several directions. This was probably how those assailants got into West's room. They used these tunnels all over the hotel underground, to sneak into rooms. The thought sent shivers down her spine.
Moving through the door to her right, Shai saw a large wine tasting room, complete with hundreds of oaken casks, and even some samples out for tasting. Moving past them, she entered through another door, into what appeared to be the main kitchen.
And it was here she found the rotund, curly-french-mustache-wearing head chef himself, chef Jacques. He turned around as she entered. "Wha? Who are you? What are doing in my sacred kitchen? Explain yourself!" He had a french accent that simply was too bad to be real. But to Shai it didn't matter.
"A thousand apologies, chef Jacques." Shai said rolling out her Cherry Merlot routine again. "I am simply here to deliver the recipe you wanted."
Jacques looked outraged. He slammed a cleaver down hard on the countertop. "How dare you!" he spat. "I am an artiste of cuisine, I do not ask for recipes from anyone! Bah!"
But Shai could read his mind easily. "I must not let anyone know I asked for a second chef to help me prepare tonight's meal. This pony girl they brought, I cannot possibly handle her on my own."
"Are you saying that you did not ask for a second chef to help you prepare tonight's dinner?" asked Shai innocently. "Forgive me, sir. I did not mean to bother you then. Adieu ."
"No, wait!" she turned back around. Jacques mood had lightened. 'I am sorry mademoiselle, I didn't know who you were. Yes, I could in fact use some help with the erm...main course , you see."
"I see," Shai felt rage boil up in her stomach. "Shall I take a look to see if she is ready then?"
"Are you sure? I...I realize that seeing another of um, your kind like that must be-"
"Nonsense. I am a chef first, a pony second."
Jacques nodded. "Very well. Then yes, go and check on her. I shall begin to prepare the broth."
With that he handed her the key to the large freezer at the other end of the room. Shai went over, unlocked it and pushed the doors open, letting a rush of cold air into the room.
"Be careful over there, mademoiselle. The cold cannot be let out for too long; the ingredients will spoil!"
"Piss off." said Shai.
"I'm sorry?"
"Nothing, mon ami !"
Inside the freezer, amongst the bags of frozen vegetables and chilled wines, was the shivering form of young Rosalina Maxentier. At long last, Shai had found the missing heiress. She was about five years younger than Shai, and the pink diamond covered dress she was wearing had ice forming over it. Her done up blonde mane was equally frozen. But besides that, she looked to be perfectly unharmed.
"Why are you all keeping me here?" she asked. "Where are my parents?"
Shai tilted her mask up so she could talk to the frightened young mare. "I don't have a lot of time to explain. Just hide behind these bags here." she gestured to the large bags of potatoes near the doors. "When I say now, run out into the kitchen. Kay?"
The girl looked scared and confused, but nevertheless agreed to Shai's request.
Returning to Jacques, Shai feigned worry. "Oh dear, she's gone, Jacques! She's escaped!"
"What!? That..that is impossible!" he flew over to the open freezer, and began looking around frantically within for the 'missing girl.
"NOW!"
Rosalina bolted from her hiding place, and ducked into the kitchen, just as Jacques turned back around.
Shai ran over, reached in broke the handle off the door, and slammed the freezer door shut, trapping Jacques inside.
"Mon dieu! What in the world do you think you are doing!? LET ME OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!" the mad chef roared.
But Shai only laughed as she took off that damned mask and threw it into the open fire of the stove. "Sorry, mon ami . But the only thing you freaks will be eating tonight is your just desserts."
As Jacques swore up a storm behind the frosted glass of the freezer, Shai took Rosalina over to the fire to warm up. "You alright?"
"I-I am now." she shivered. "T-Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. We still need to get out of here."
"D-Do you know how we can do that?"
Shai looked around the kitchen. These griffins were expecting a meal. But, as Clarence proved, not all of them were expecting pony to be on the menu tonight. If Shai could whip up a meal that only appeared to be made of pony flesh, then Morgan would still give his speech, thinking that everyone had eaten pony along with him. But in reality, it would only have been him. And he would have nowhere to run.
Shai went over to the stove and began looking through the cookbooks for something she could use. Then a slip of paper fell from the sleeve of one. Picking it up, she saw it was an incredibly simple recipe for something called veau doux : an imitation pony meat recipe that Jacques had been perfecting in his spare time.
Glancing over at the stove again, she saw everything needed to cook a meal, was here at her disposal. And with recipe in hoof, she decided there was no more time to waste. She had to give it a shot.
Thirty minutes later, and Shai now had herself a main entree prepared exactly in the manner of a professional chef, using only the descriptions and hints used in Jacques recipe. She would nominate herself for a Michelin star, soon after, but for now, it was time for dinner.
She hit the buzzer on the intercom. "How may I assist?" said the voice on the other end.
"Dinner is ready to serve."
"Very well. I will be there shortly."
When the waiter arrived he looked around the room. With Rosalina hiding in the next door cellar, it was only Shai in the kitchen. "Where is head chef, Jacques?"
"He decided he hated everyone everywhere and went to go live in the middle of the desert with the rest of the snakes."
"Ah, I see. Very good then, ma'am." Shai had meant that to be a joke, but the waiter took her quip far too seriously. It seemed even Jacques own staff had despised him. The waiter took the dishes and some cutlery then headed out to serve the dinner.
When he had gone, Rosalina came out of hiding. "It worked!" she cheered. "Now what?"
Shai smiled wickedly. "We free the rest of the ponies down here." she then snatched a bottle of wine from the counter. "Then we go watch the show."
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Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 5: "A Dish Best Served With Justice."
It took several minutes, but using her powers, Shai managed to find the huge room where all the ponies that had been kidnapped over the last few weeks, including the missing bride West had been looking for, were locked in large cages.
Using keys she had 'borrowed' from the kitchen, Shai released every single one of them, telling them to quietly make their way out the back, and let the officers behind the hotel take care of the rest.
When every pony was now outside in the safe care of the PPD, Shai then followed the last remaining hallway back up to the hall she had first entered, and then back into the member's only section, where dinner was underway.
Shai and Rosalina hid behind the counter, as all the members of the Talon Lodge, including Morgan happily enjoyed the meal she had prepared. (She felt a tinge of pride seeing how much they were enjoying her cooking) and waited for Morgan to make his big speech.
Sure enough, after ten minutes of eating, Morgan stood up and clinked his glass. "Everyone, everyone. I have an announcement to make." he called. At once all eyes were on him and all conversations ended. "Thank you."
After clearing his throat he began. "There was a time I can remember when were bound together, not as members; but as family. As a clan. And when our clan evolved over time, along with the modern age, we knew we stood to gain much."
He looked down into his glass, twirling the wine within. "Little did we know how much we would lose."
Some of the members looked around, confused, seeking confirmation from other equally confused members.
Morgan continued. "As a lodge, we have endeavored to sample the finest food and drink the world has to offer. But we are living a lie."
More confusion. Some began to shift around uncomfortably in their seats.
"There is a meat sweeter than the most corn-fed livestock. Many in the past have tasted it, most of you have forgotten it."
Most now were simply confused, but others simply sat and listened, knowing full well what Morgan was talking about.
"Among us, it is a crime to discuss the old ways that once united our clan, our tribe." Morgan's face had gone dark, but his evil smile could be seen by all. "Tonight, that all changes. The taboo ends."
Finally one of the members stood up, clearly outraged. "What is the meaning of this, Morgan!? Have you lost your mind?!"
"Let me finish, Connor." said Morgan cooly. "You don't know it yet, but you are all now guilty of a greater crime. One that ordinarily bears the harshest of punishments." Morgan locked eyes with Margaret who was now as white as a sheet, tears running down her face. He smiled a cold smile at her. "Even you ponies, have just joined us in our most sacred tradition. And in your heart you cannot deny that that taste, the meat of your own kind....is better than any oats or vegetables you all love so much. Am I right my dear Margaret?"
At once the room collectively lost it's shit. Members leapt out of their chairs, ponies collapsed on the ground screaming in horror, griffins, began pacing around, mortified by their actions, wild, frantic screams of denial and swearing filled the room. And Morgan was enjoying every second. "Surely now that you are all guilty, warrants renewed discussion? After all for our society to be truly elite, we must dine on the most delicious, the most exclusive food in the world. And tonight, you have all partaken in that, the most forbidden of meat, the way it was meant to be prepared."
He raised his glass. "Fellow members of the Talon Lodge!" he yelled over the chaos. "Bon appetit."
As he drank deep from his glass, enjoying his victory, he heard a familiar voice yell out behind him. "Wow! I mean, thanks Morgan!" he spun around and his heart nearly stopped, as he saw Shai and Rosalina at the counter. "I mean, I can't take all the credit, it was after all the good chef Jacques recipe, but really, hey man. Thanks. I think I'm a good chef too."
The chaos stopped as all eyes turned to Shai and the very much alive, uneaten Rosalina Maxentier, smiling away beside her. Morgan, looked like he had been shot. "Buh." was all he managed to get out.
"And I guess I do have to admit, I am rather proud of myself for being able to fool a sick bastard such as yourself." Shai looked over at the crowd of absolutely dumbfounded, terrified looking ponies and griffins and sighed. "Guys, get a grip. It's alright. I made the meal myself. And I am very happy you all enjoyed it!"
Morgan at last found his voice. "B-Buh....but, if she's....then...who are we eating right now?" he asked desperate for an answer.
"Who ? Oh no one." Shai shrugged. "It's imitation. All vegan stuff from the kitchen."
"But...but then where's Jacques?"
Shai checked her watch. "Hmm...I'd say dead of hypothermia, but a bird that fat's probably got a few more layers than he needs to stay warm."
The members laughed at that, all now unimaginably relieved they had not become like Morgan. Many got back into their seats, others helped one another to calm down and shared water amonsgt each other. (They had all lost their appetite all of a sudden.) But every eye, every loathing, glaring eye, was now on Morgan, stabbing through him like knives.
Morgan looked back at them. Then at Shai. Then at Rosalina, who despite her lineage gave him a gesture so rude, even Shai gasped at it. "Whoa. She doesn't seem to be too fond of you, Morgy." Shai commented. "Although given that you had her kidnapped and then tried to serve her up to your own friends and family as a soup, I can see why."
"I-I....ergh, lies!" he yelled suddenly, feathers flying off his body. "All lies, all of it! THEY'RE FRAMING ME, CAN'T YOU SEE!? I never kidnapped anyone! NEVER! A-And even If I had, she's still alive, see!?"
Shai shook her head. "Too late Morgy. You already said too much."
Morgan, now drenched with sweat, eyes flaring wildly, suddenly started screaming at the top of his lungs "YOU'RE ALL HYPOCRITES!" he bellowed to the room. "All of you! You claim to be connoisseurs yet deny yourself the greatest of all meats!? You-You-"
"ENOUGH!!" a booming voice shook the room. Everyone turned to look at Connor, who was practically foaming at the mouth with rage. "Words fail me. Words sputter and die in vain in their attempt to describe the unimaginable, gut-wrenching disgust I feel in my heart, nay, in my soul as a member of this lodge and indeed as a griffin, looking at you, this miserable, cretin piece of filth."
His words stung even Shai's ears as he seemed to spit them at Morgan like fire.
"I am ashamed beyond the comprehension of my being, possibly more ashamed than that of any living being in our world, to have been so foolish as to have called you family. To have let you wear that pin, those clothes, as if you were one of us." He stuck a single damning talon out at the wriggling, weeping lump that was once Morgan. "I want you gone. Jailed for the rest of your days, dead, I don't care. But I want you removed from this lodge, this hotel, this very city, at once. And I never again want to see your face or even hear your damnable name for the rest of my time on this earth. You are a sick, miserable, evil monster, and I pray to Celestia you pay for your atrocities for the rest of your horrid existence."
Silence. Complete and total save for Morgan's pathetic sobbing.
Shai just looked at Connor as he sat back down wiping his brow with his handkerchief. "Wow." she thought. "I have got to get smack talk lessons from that guy!"
She looked over at Rosalina who also stood agape at the utter roasting that Connor had unleashed onto Morgan. "Hey, Rosie? Do me a favor and go open the front doors over there."
"Um...okay. Why?"
"You'll see." she called out to the rest of the room. "As for the rest of you, please stay in your seats. For those of you that were unaware what tonight's dinner was really for, you having nothing to worry about."
Her eyes flashed as she spotted a few members, shivering horribly in their seats, sweating buckets."But for those of you that thought this thing," she pointed to Morgan who was still sobbing loudly into the carpet, "was worth listening to...by all means, please try to run."
"I've already seen all your futures." Shai laughed as she poured herself a glass of wine. "You don't have any."
Shai Sideways In: Murder She Mocked
Chapter 6: "Just Desserts."
The PPD had stormed the room as soon as Rosalina opened the doors. Everyone that remained in their seats, was ignored as a few griffins tried in vain to flee the scene, only to be tackled by officers and bound in cuffs.
They also made sure to be extra rough while arresting Morgan, who was now carrying on about meat. (Just meat, just screaming that one word over and over, like a lunatic. Which he was, so it suited him.)
The few that managed to make it out the back were also taken in by the team of officers stationed behind the place. The Manehatten police sent at least thirty cars, along with ambulances, police copters and more, to line the streets outside the hotel. The ponies that had been kidnapped by Morgan and his goons, were taken to hospitals to be cared for, while the others were returned to their friends and family, including the bride to be, who was taken into the arms of her weeping fiance, finally reunited.
Despite what Morgan had done, the Talon Lodge was not disgraced for his actions. In fact, the love and care that they had all shown one another when they realized Shai had tricked Morgan, showed them that they really were a family (And unlike Morgan's sick little idea of a tribe, they didn't have to eat people to prove it). Margaret took over as second in command of the Manehatten Talon Lodge, and membership was now open to the public, allowing anyone to come and be a part of their organization with open arms.
Clarence was rewarded by the PPD and the Talon Lodge for his bravery, becoming the new host of The Gourmet; a role that allowed him and his friend to have all the cider they wanted without needing to steal it. He had never been so overjoyed.
Rosalina Maxentier was reunited with her parents, who swept her up into their arms, and have seemingly refused to let go ever since. With Margaret and Connor running things now, the Gilded Griffin joined the Maxentier family, partnering with Mr. Maxentier as he built his new hotel, naming it in honor of the brave, genius detective that saved his little girl's life. He called it The Sideways Grand Resort.
With the case closed, and Morgan in Griffnstone National Prison for the rest of his life, Shai got to remain a member of the Talon Lodge, actually advancing to an elite member with recommendation.
After the dust had settled, and Shai was personally thanked by the Maxentiers with more money than she thought existed, she was called into the office of Mazra back at Precinct 14, who had a very intriguing offer for her.
"Work for you?" Shai repeated. "Seriously?"
"Deadly."
"I'm not a cop."
"No, you're the best damn detective I've ever seen." Mazra stated. "And your abilities make you invaluable to the side of justice. We need ponies like you on our team, Shai."
"I mean...don't get me wrong, I'm honored really. It's just that I already have my agency I have to run, so-"
"Not a problem." Said Mazra leaning back in her chair. "How about we call you if we need you to come in?"
"You mean as a consulting detective?" asked Shai. "To solve the cases you guys can't?"
"I would rather have it put as, you help us solve cases that are harder for us than normal, and require some outside help to crack."
"Sooo...the ones you guys can't?"
"Do you want the job or not?"
Shai thought for a moment. But she already knew her answer.
Head Detective Manners sat at his desk, enjoying his coffee. When Shai Sideways popped up beside him. "Heya, partner!"
Manners choked on his coffee. "Gah! What the hell do you want, Sideways!?" He took a napkin to clean the stains from his collared shirt.
Shai took the opportunity to take a seat on his desk. "Well, you see Manny, I just took a job from the chief! We're working together now!"
"You what??"
"Well, sort of together. I'll be called in when you guys run into a case that's a bit too hard for your tiny brain to figure out." she tapped a hoof on his forehead. He swatted it away.
"What, you think just cause you solve one kidnapping case, suddenly you get to be a cop, now?"
"Ugh, as if I'd ever want to be a miserable desk jockey like you." Shai rolled her eyes. "Nope, I'll stick to being the world's greatest detective thanks." she leaped off his desk and headed to the door. "Later Manny! Good luck with that stomach virus you get next week!"
He scoffed. "Oh, is that another one of your predictions , psychic girl?" he called after her.
"No, you're drinking coffee that expired eight years ago!" Shai called from the lobby. "See ya!"
CASE CLOSED
