Whoya gonna call?

by Lexicon_Spark

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Berry Punch, Comedy, Random
Length: 1121

Minuette goes to a bar to deal with her nightmares. It doesn't end quite the way she thought it would.

Minuette goes to a bar to deal with her nightmares. It doesn't end quite the way she thought it would.

Edited by the Ever-Dapper and Magnificently Hatted Nonchalant and the Flodulent Floydien
Also preread by JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERN

Published 2019-07-19 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-19 01:50:01 UTC

No, seriously, who?

“Is this really the place? It looks like a bar…”

Minuette looks around antsily at the rest of the street, standing beneath a sign emblazoned with a bunch of grapes as she uncharacteristically mutters to herself instead of bounding straight into the building, having to recover from the effort of the walk across town. “Lyra said she’d be able to help… but ponies have always told me I should probably stay away from alcohol...”

She contemplates this for a moment before giving up and trotting straight in, mane bouncing. She hops onto a barstool, earning odd looks from some of the regulars for her unfamiliar face. Behind the bar, a purple-coated earth pony slings drinks around, mixing and shaking with almost otherworldly speed. The pony passes out five of the six drinks she’d been working on, collecting bits and noting down tabs on a notesheet, before proceeding to down the sixth drink in one as she slides over towards Minuette’s stool.

“What can I getchya? You seem a little lost.” The mare grins an almost predatory grin, taking a lengthy sip of yet another drink.

“I’m looking for somepony named Berry Punch? Lyra said they would know how to help with nightmares, but I’m starting to think she’s pranking me and trying to get me to drink!” Minuette tilts her head inquisitively as she smiles back. “You don’t happen to know where I could find her, do you?”

The mare’s expression softens. “You need that kinda help, doya? Well, you’re lookin’ at the pony you’re lookin’ for. Might be a moment or two before I can helpya, though, but I’m closin’ early in ‘bout a half hour tonight, soya can meet me near my house—the purple one out the back—an’ I can try doin’ what I can.”

“Oh! Wow! Thanks! I didn’t think finding you would be this easy, Lyra made you sound all mysteeeerious and creepy.”

Berry Punch shakes her head. “That mare, I tellya. Gonna have to cut her off of that stuff soon. Anywho, I gotta get back to drinkslingin’, but I’ll meetchya over there in a few.”

“Okies! Thanks so much!” Minuette shouts as Berry Punch walks only a short distance down the bar to start letting patrons know about the early closing that night. She then hops up and heads out of the door in search of this mysterious ‘out the back.’

As Minuette exits onto the street, she eyes the darkening shadows of the short-lived day around her, timing herself as she walks. Lots of ponies pass by on their routes back from work, and she waves to Lyra as she passes the mare’s house, conjuring one of those weird “hand” gestures she seems to like, the one Lyra calls a “thumbs up.”

Eventually she comes upon the train station, shuddering in proximity to the metal beasts of her nightmares as she examines the routing map. “Hmm… I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean the Outback, that looks really far away… Wait, it’s right he- Wait, no it isn’t!” She squints harder at the map, before she has a realization. “Wait a second! Berry meant behind the bar!”

Suddenly, Minuette feels a deep tug from the marks on her flanks—her eyes widen as she follows the feeling and begins to canter out back the way she came, sliding around corners and shifting gaits to get there right on time. As she drifts around the final corner with yet another a slide, the feeling lets up just as she comes to a stop directly in front of Berry, panting heavily from the exertion. “Heya!”

“Woah there! Yaughtta give a mare some warning there, miss!” Berry shouts in return, eyes widening as she comes to a sudden stop, barely avoiding a collision. “Well, leastchya got yer timing right on! Let’s get inside, so I can try an’ helpya.” She opens the door and enters, and a relieved Minuette follows suit behind the boozy mare.

The light purple of the walls and the strong scent of a cheerful, fruity incense alongside that of equally strong alcohol greet the pair as they enter. Minuette’s eyes widen at the unsettling bits of fur and claw, beaded and tied together with strings placed upon every inch of wallspace. Berry leads Minuette into her kitchen, taking out a key and unlocking a cabinet filled with brightly-coloured liquor in fancy and oddly-shaped bottles. “Wow, you have a lot of... things on your walls!” Berry chuckles briefly and withdraws one of the bottles, before locking the cabinet back up and responding.

“Lotsa things help out, but this right here will help the most,” Berry says, gesturing to the bottle.

“A lot of ponies tell me I shouldn’t drink alcohol…”

“Oh, it’s not for you. Stuff this strong might knock ya out cold, right inta more nightmares. Come on, let’s get out onto the porch, I’ve got some cushions and we’ll want to get comfortable for this,” Berry declares, leading Minuette out the back door and onto an unroofed porch, laden with a small coffee table and several cushions. She sets down the bottle and uncorks it, drinking a quarter straight from the bottle. “I’ll take a second to get ready, so get comfortable.” She lets out a loud belch.

“So… how are you going to help with the nightmares? I told Lyra about them and how they’ve been making me exhausted, and she told me to come to you.” Minuette tilts her head inquisitively yet again.

“Well, Lyra sending ya to me means ya’ve prob’ly gotta imbalance of energies, and prob’ly supernatural,” Berry says, as her voice begins to slur more and more. Another quarter of the bottle down.

“D-do you mean there’s something in m-me?” stutters Minuette.

“Mayyybe.”

“A-and you can get it out?”

“I can tryyyy.” Berry wobbles and then straightens up, eyes widening as her cutie mark glows. The bottle is empty. “I’ll be a-reachin’ intae th’ Otherworld to tryyyy and banish th’ nightmare. Mind if I take a look intae yer soul?”

“If it’ll stop the nightmares!”

Berry takes this as consent and reaches out, touching Minuette’s front, closing her eyes to concentrate. Minuette feels a foreign presence in her body, pushing out a sort of dark cloud near her head. There’s flashing as several more presences flit through her body, before finally the cloud lifts and Berry’s eyes open. “Therrrrya go.”

Minuettes eyes widen further. “I can feel that it’s gone! Thank you so much!”

“It’ssa no problem,” Berry declares loudly, slumping and almost falling asleep. Suddenly she straightens back up, eyeing the bottle. She grasps onto it and swishes around the leftovers of the hard liquor. “What can I say? I commune with the spirits.”