Even the moon had to rest, painfully and rightfully so. Once again she slept among the cold surface of the moon she called 'home.' What a cold home, in tight sorrowfully uncomfortable armor. Her hair flowed, feeling the coldness sweep up against her coat. She was dreaming, her only escape away from the vast loneliness she's come to accept.

Yes, in her dreams, once again as she faced with her ever-growing pain seeped down into her soul. Scars always resurfaced whenever her mind dared to give her the luxury yet pain that was a dream. As always, it ringed the same, but yet as painful as she remembered each day.

"Mommy, do you love me?" She looked upon a young foal gawking up at her, a purple little foal she recalled, but the image was blurry and undefined, she didn't know the exact appearance of the foal to date, so her mind barely could officially fill in the images, but it felt just as real. Her jaw opened to speak, but it was almost as her throat denied her the ability to form words.

Yes! Of course, I love you, you're my little Twili.

Luna's pain didn't manage to make through to her expressions, in the dream, she couldn't speak. Like she was being denied the ability to reach out and hug her daughter, to make amends. She was not Nightmare Moon, no, she was herself. The pony she denied herself to be. She tried so hard to move, but yet her legs failed her. Despite the blur, her daughter's face contorted into sorrow, almost rage.

"Of course you don't! You only care about yourself, and my love isn't enough, is it? You need everypony to adore you! Wasn't I enough, mommy?" That sentence rang over and over in the dream, and she could almost feel it hit her like this could be reality. She had barely known her daughter's personality, let alone voice, but her paranoia still hit her.

"Please, I do! I really do. I l--" Her throat got caught off as soon as she demanded to mutter the word 'love', and she could feel her heart pounding, and chains being held onto her. She wasn't allowed to leave the prison, she had to leave her daughter in despair. It's okay.

She whispered that to herself as she found herself tied to the moon, watching the blurry-faced foal make off with strangers who looked upon her as Nightmare Moon believed she never could. It's okay, it's okay. That kept repeating in her mind. It's not about you, it's about her. It never was about you.

She has all she could ever want. It's time to say goodbye.

Sometimes, it's better to let go, because without you there is a smile on their face. If they could find it within them to live without you, better for you to not exist with them at all. Her legs went weak, and her eyes opened from the nightmare or eye-opening dream that resonated with her. She might as well be the Princess of crying, what a title. I guess she thought things could've gone differently. Small regrets, to the bigger ones.

She wouldn't mind the embrace, but she wasn't meant for it. She had a few expectations, but now. Day after day, the moon arose, and she saw the clouds pass by on Equestria. She marked each day. Every day, the stillness was eerie. She blinked. She had pieces of parchment and a quill, that had entertained her over the many years. She had an idea, to feed to her growing emptiness.

Happy Tenth Birthday my little Twilight, how is school? I'm sure you're excelling in all your classes.

I'm sure Cele is being as pressuring about it, as usual, she was always stuck up like that. Enough about her, are you doing okay? I'm sure you have the best friends ever. What's it like? To be down there? I wish you could answer.

I would say not to miss me, but ... you don't even know I exist. So, I'll say this, I'll try not to miss you. I have so many things to say, what do you like? Do you like music? You're in the double digits, that's nothing to laugh at! Aha, mommy loves you, dear. I wish I could be there for your Birthday. Do good in school.

- Princess LunaNightmare Moon Your mother.

She barely knew what to call herself to her daughter, it wasn't like Twilight would be reading these letters. They were a way to indirectly show how much she missed her daughter. She sighed softly, she put the parchment somewhere alongside herself, watching Equestria carefully. She'd sigh.

Twilight was ten now, it's been ten years, it already felt like a thousand years.

She counted the days once again, watching and sleeping each night and day, marking the days slowly. Routine, always looking forward to the day her daughter aged up. One, two, three days. Those days shifted into months, into years, until a pile of parchment stacked alongside her, the older ones gathering moon dust. It was so long.

Nightmare Moon huffed, her eyes raised as the sun shined on Equestria, and the moon subsided. She grabbed the parchment, once again blinking at the realization.

Happy Fifteenth Birthday Twilight,

I'm sure you are going through a lot of tough times. It happens within teenage years, just look up at the moon. We are so many miles apart, but I promise when you look up, I'll be here. I'll be here. Even if I can't see it.

Just hold on! So, do you have a special somepony...? If I were there, I'd make sure he'd never break your heart, I'd be ready with a bat if he ever hurt you. But, if you aren't ready yet, I understand. I never really was either. Haha. Teenage love interests are very odd.

A couple more years and you'll be done with school, well, it's only an option. I know you are probably Celestia's pupil, you' probably get private lessons from her. Well, graduating is fun, right? I wish I were there, to wish you a Happy Birthday because I sort of helped that Birthday happen, odd I know. Haha, messing with you. Thou is a good daughter, I know you would be. Happy Birthday.

I love you. Even if you may never know how much.

She hadn't realized it, but there were wet spots on the parchment, from tears she hadn't even realized she was crying. Her heart had ached, with pride but again sorrow. She had missed her daughter's innocent years and was destined to never laid her eyes on her daughter ever since she was a baby. Now she was almost a full-grown mare.

Tears swelled down her cheeks, and she felt her legs tremble quietly. She was almost a full-grown mare. Her daughter was almost a full-grown mare, only five years until she was twenty. Less until she was eighteen, she pondered everything. She wanted to know her daughter more than anypony else.

And she might never manage that, she'd give up one of her hooves just to spend one day to wish her daughter a Happy Birthday. If the skies got rough, who would be there to put a wing around her and give her the hard truth? Luna knew that they would pander to her, and put her through the world through blinded joy, but the world wasn't perfect. Her daughter wouldn't be her's.

That always rang in her mind. She tried to imagine what her daughter looked like, she looked too much like Luna's mother, and much too like the colt who fathered her. She tried not to think of him. He had left her alone when she had become dependent on his love in a way, which was heartbreaking when she had needed him the most, he left for another mare.

You can't change the past.

The nights into days once again. It was routine for the dozenth time, time felt so slow, but so very quick at the same time. Her only thought was Twilight, and she knew that this was the price. The price of envy. She wanted the throne, but over the years the desperate need to escape her thousand-year prison was desperate to see Twilight. It'd be different if she left nothing behind, but she left somepony who would never know her name.

Somepony who would never call her 'mommy.' When the stars shined down, she kept track and counted precisely. Her heart pounded, and her legs weakened, it had been twenty years since...

Happy Birthday Twilight,

you're a full-grown mare now. You're twenty years old. I know you're somewhere out there, I wish I could tell you that I love you. If you're in love, be careful. Marry the right one, I might never be able to walk you down the altar, as I know your dad would never, but I would've proudly been the dad and mom you needed.

I hope that you look up at the moon because I always look down and hope that you're looking back.

I wish I could've been there. I know there's now no chance I would ever be the mom you wanted. I know you graduated a while ago, I'm so proud of you. What are you up to now? Still personal lessons from your mentor?

I know you might never hear, but I love you. For the twentieth time, over the twenty years, I love you.

Talking to herself, but in a way to her daughter. So she'll say it again, out loud, where she hoped she could hear, which is impossible but she still said it, "I love you."

Author's Note

this is a transition chapter, so i apologize for the shortness! yeah, uh, we'll get to the juicy stuff next chapter.