Crappy Cleaning Catastrophes

Some say scaling a mountain is similar to cleaning a dirty house. Screw them, it's worse, so much worse.

Day 1

Mchawi is a really nice lady but she has a bad habit of not cleaning her hut. It’s kind of absurd the amount of crap laying around. I started with cleaning the main table of the hut and not even five minutes in I caused a Jenga-esque effect.

The table itself was covered in almost aliteral mountain of books. Now being the genius that I am I started cleaning at the bottom of the book mountain.

“Man, cleaning sure is something, wait, why’d it get darker?” The shadow of my impending doom loomed over me.

Needless to say, I was almost crushed to death by knowledge. I had to crawl out the pile of books, and then lay the books aside for later organization. After that, I had to explain to a miffed zebra why one of her books got bloody.

Day 2

Mchawi was a pleasant conversationalist, we ‘talked’ about many subjects while I cleaned her hut. Though the second-hand smoke made it a little difficult to have extended conversations. In most of the conversations, we never actually talked about ourselves much.

I was cleaning out the central cauldron when I stumbled on a really old newspaper, though I almost missed it because I was talking to Mchawi. The newspaper itself was almost completely in tatters but the headline was legible. The headline molded and reformed into English.

Princess Celestia pushes for Everfree bandit investigation.

“Really? Princess Celestia? What creative naming.” Mchawi gave me a questioning glance.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, It’s silly, it’s a silly name!” She rolled her eyes and returned to reading her book.

I spent the rest of the day trying to clean a stubborn cauldron stain.

Day 3

Magic and I have a love-hate relationship and today only proved this correct. Mchawi, bless her soul, had to leave for a bit and intrusted me to deal with disposing of her magic garbage. Throwing away the garbage couldn’t have been a more difficult task.

I was just supposed to put it in a small hole not even ten feet from the hut but some crazy magic BS happened. I got five feet towards the hole before things started getting trippy. Turns out holding all the magic waste was not a good idea, probably should have put it in a bag or something.

I was lifted off the ground by magic garbage, yeah, even garbage can hold a grudge. I spent twenty minutes trying to ‘swim’ in the air just to make some forward progress. It took me twenty minutes to move five feet!

I did eventually make it to the hole and drop the garbage off but I was still floating. So I just spent most of the day floating around while waiting for Mchawi to get back and when she did get back it took an hour for her to do some anti-magic bullcrap.

Screw magic.

Day 4

I’ve cleaned up most of Mchawi’s hut except the cellar, which I was hoping to start today. Mchawi warned me that the cellar would be the death of me or something like that. The cellar couldn't be that bad.

It wasn’t that bad, it was worse. Seriously the cellar was a nightmare, it looked like a shitstorm went right through the cellar. The cellar contained tipped over furniture and some old photographs, as well as an array of items from different cultures. Mchawi must have traveled the world at some point.

Old shelves lined the walls of the cellar each one stuffed to the brim with powders and other ingredients. Now, this would be fine if the shelves themselves weren't almost destroyed by the weight of such items.

After looking around the cellar for a bit I grabbed my precious cleaning supplies and went to work. I regretted my decision immediately once I realized how much of a daunting task it was.

Day 5

It’s my last full day here, honestly, I might miss slaving away for Mchawi amusement. I don’t have much to do anymore I mean I’ve practically cleaned her hut till it was spotless. So I asked Mchawi If I could read some of her books.

She agreed to let me read some of them as long as I don’t dye any of them red like last time. Which was both nice and very intimidating! So with nothing to do and a good bit of time I grabbed a book walked outside and started reading.

I spent an hour or so just relaxing and reading before I heard a loud explosion followed by some coughing. I rushed inside the hut to find Mchawi with a frazzled mane and wide eyes. However, what was more shocking was the room, the room I spent several hours cleaning, was now a complete mess again.

“I leave for like one second and you explode the place!”

There goes the rest of my relaxing day of reading.

Final Day

I spent most of the morning gathering information and speaking with Mchawi on where I was supposed to go. She just told me to head up the incline and follow the railroad south to Appleloosa.

She gave me some bread and some other necessary supplies for travel. A small fire starter kit and some water in case I travel longer than intended. After she gave me the supplies I was about to say goodbye but something odd happened before I could.

A large thump sounded outside the door followed by a familiar huff.

“Were you expecting visitors or something?” Mchawi only smirks at my inquiry before gesturing towards the door.

I crept towards the door and gently opened it. To my surprise, I found a familiar snout lazily laying at my foot. The alligator from before was laying at the door just staring at me. I closed the door and opened it again just to make sure.

I don’t think this thing was an alligator, It’s huge! It looks like a diregator, totally going to copyright that.

“Uh, hey Mchawi, were you expecting a lizard?” She just laughed and pointed her hoof towards the diregator.
Upon closer inspection, the diregator was wearing a saddle and had a small wooden platform on its tail presumably for holding items.

“Huh, so...you...what?” I wonder how she got her hooves

Mchawi went on to explain that she managed to communicate with the diregator with a certain spell, and she managed to convince it to give me a ride.

“Welp, I’m gonna die.” I didn’t know what to do so without much thought I walked over to the oversized reptile.

“Hey, remember me you big lump of scales?” It just huffed in response.

“Well, I'm just gonna assume that means yes and you forgive me pulling a ‘grand theft auto’ move on you.” I maneuvered myself on to the back of the gargantuan lizard.

“Hey, If I’m ever around here again I’ll stop by!” I looked at Mchawi and waved goodbye and thanked her for everything she has done. I looked towards the incline and let out a held in sigh.

"Time to perform a perilous peregrination."

I still didn't have a shirt.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!

I hope you have a radical day!

👍