Performing Perilous Peregrinations

by The Fat Man

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Adventure, Profanity, Gore, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Human, Drama, Original Character
Length: 35471

A man wakes up in Equestria. He starts a journey in search of .....

A man wakes to find himself in a swamp somewhere in Equestria. With no knowledge of the land and quite a lot of questions, the man sets out for answers, occasional jokes, and backscratchers!

Published 2019-07-26 21:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-04 06:32:32 UTC

'Bout Barely Bogged

Chapter One- Bogged Down

(No Alligators were harmed during the creation of this fanfiction)

Y’know I imagined by this point in my life I would be swimming in gold like Scrooge McDuck not knee-deep in a Swamp in the middle of nowhere. If you asked me how I happened to get into this predicament I would slap you and call you ignorant and then tell you I don’t know.

One minute I was arranging my collection of back scratchers and the next minute I was swatting mosquitoes the size of my fist. I don’t remember how I got here, and I sure as buttered biscuits don’t know how to leave. Though I've made some headway in trying to leave, I’ve discovered that most logs are not in fact logs but rather very aggressive reptiles.

After spending an hour trying to figure out how to walk without looking like I had crotch rot, I decided to head in one direction, but only because walking around in circles wasn't helping. After continuing in said direction for some time I noticed the once knee-deep water getting much deeper.

Now you may ask how I solved this positively complex conundrum, well after wading through the water for some time I happened upon a very large log. Now being the intellectual that I am I grabbed a large stick from one of the many mangrove trees and hopped on the log. I now had a boat, or I almost had a boat. See the log really didn’t like being a boat. Upon closer inspection and a smack of recollection, I realized that I was riding a rather angry alligator.

I believe when I hopped on its back it was asleep. After I hopped on its back it flipped out, and I mean that quite literally. To sum up the feeling of holding onto the back of a rampaging alligator, it’s kind of like sitting on a very aggressive massage chair with very sharp teeth.

“YEE-HAW!”

Honestly, I attempted to resist saying it. Though upon saying the dreaded words the raging alligator below halted all movement. Not only did the alligator stop moving but the background sound of the swamp had stopped. Of course, I was just proud that nature now realized my obvious prowess in stopping raging alligators. Though my moment of being proud was quickly ended once I realized there was a sound emanating throughout the area behind me.

At the time I couldn't afford to turn around and take my attention away from the now not so aggressive alligator. Though I couldn't turn around I could tell the sound was getting closer. I decided to clench my legs on the giant reptile below me and turn around. Now I’m no scaredy-cat by any stretch of the imagination, but turning around to see nine giant heads maneuvering through the mangrove made my heart skip a beat.

With all the grace of a floundering walrus, I turned back around and started yelling at the alligator.

“Move you giant water lizard or so help me god I’ll find some way to kick your scaly ass!”

Yelling some more creative obscenities I turned to find eighteen eyes trained directly on us. I don't think yelling like that was a good idea. I didn’t think it could get worse, that was until I saw its body lumbering through the mangrove line from which I had previously traveled through. Once it was finished snapping trees in half with seemingly little effort it roared and starting moving towards us.

The roar from the hydra managed to stir the alligator's sense of fear. The damn thing took off like a missile. I was barely holding onto the slippery bugger. I could still hear the stomping directly behind me. That wasn't the only thing that let me know it was there, it had this rancid smell about it.

“Alright you stupid lizard, we’re both gonna die if don’t pick up the pace, no pressure though!” I stated rather loudly as I was being thrown around like a ragdoll.

The endless stretch of mangrove trees seemed to part and with this parting of trees came a strong current. So it was either wait for the alligator to tire out and we die or steer the beast into the parting.

“Alright I hate you, and you hate me but we both wanna live, right? Right. So sorry this might hurt,” I grabbed the alligator under its arms and pulled up my legs and steered the alligator towards the parting. I was, of course, met with resistance, but a roar from the hydra was enough to get it to do what I wanted.

"Just like Mario Kart," I mumbled as the alligator snapped at my hand.

The parting was too small at the entrance for the hydra to enter or that's what I assumed, but after hearing a resounding crack I knew it was still on our tail. This thing was persistent enough to knock down trees just to get to us. The current in the water managed to us some distance from the foul-smelling beast. Though I had a realization of sorts.

“Wait a sec, why is there a current?” I questioned to no one in particular.

The answer to my question was revealed shortly. The end of the parting revealed a waterfall. So it was either death by fall damage or death by a giant multi-headed, foul-smelling monster. The latter was truly tempting. My not so valiant steed had different plans however as it headed straight towards the waterfall.

“You brain dead fungus muncher, are you trying to kill us!”

The hydra had caught right back up to us, the water must have been deep enough to support its body. It was close enough that It tried biting at me, and for me, that wouldn't do. So with mangrove branch in one hand, and my other hand full of alligator I dueled the ferocious creature. By duel I mean I poked it in the eyes every time it got close, it eventually ate my stick though. Before I even realized it we were rocketing off the waterfall.

“Why do I feel like the coyote from roadrunner!” I screamed as we shot off the waterfall. The hydra’s many heads peered over the edge as we fell.

I looked towards the bottom of the huge gorge past the alligator who was now holding onto me for dear life. There was water at the bottom so that was a good sign, hopefully.

“YOU STUPID LIZARD!” I managed to say before we both impacted the water.

Author's Note

This silly piece of fiction was pretty fun to write.

Thanks for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Elegant Eel Evasion

Chapter 2

I must have been knocked unconscious once I hit the water because I simply for the life of me cannot remember how I escaped the liquidy devil. The only things I could remember were small flashes of orange light and a lot of water. With bleary eyes and a barely functioning brain, my consciousness returned to me.

Upon my awakening, somewhere along the shoreline of the small lake, I quickly took note of the area that I found myself in. The walls of the gorge were incredibly steep, which in turn lead to many trees making a canopy. The fact that I survived that fall with some minor muscle pain is almost comical.

It was dark, the only way I could see was from the rays of moonlight that peeked through the canopy. With this bit of light I made a rough estimate, I would say the closest wall of the gorge would be roughly a half-mile from my current position.

The forest I needed to get through to arrive at the wall was like a blanket of darkness. I don’t think that a small amount of moonlight would help.

After observing the surroundings I pushed myself up off the dirt and stretched for some time, every muscle in my body seemed to scream in protest. Figuring it would probably be a bad idea to stay standing out in the open I moved towards the closest wall of the gorge. Albeit moving towards the forest was difficult one your bones are shaking every step.

Maneuvering through the forest was a lot easier with hunger as motivation. This doesn’t mean I didn’t trip like once or twice...or several times. Though even if it was easier to maneuver it was still extremely difficult to see, but through the darkness, I caught a glimpse of something, a flash of orange light against the backdrop of the gorge wall. With some newfound hope, I quickened my pace towards the source of light.

Upon reaching the mysterious light I found that it was a lantern that had been knocked on its side. Next to the lantern was a display of tracks, two to be exact, each of different sizes and shapes.

“Huh, What happened here?” I muttered as I bent down to inspect the area.

Next to the lantern were some foo- hoofprints. Whoever was around here must have been hunting a deer or something. However, there were no footprints. On closer inspection, there were some larger more intimidating prints that came after the hoof prints.

“Hope whoever left this lantern doesn't mind me borrowing it forever,” I whispered. I picked up the thick iron lantern the flame flickering inside slightly as I did so.

“The hunter could have followed the hoofprints, guess that's my objective.”

After my open remark, I decided to follow that mysterious trail. After a bit of a walk and some spooky atmosphere, I observed some changes in the terrain. The trees parted to reveal a large clearing. Though I doubt I would have seen it without my handy dandy lantern.

I hesitantly walked into the clearing, once I walked in I perceived some odd terrain. Large holes decorated the wall face. There were also some more describable features around the area like a noticeably large skeleton nestled at the entrance of one of the holes.

“Holy shit,” I exclaimed while examining the holes from the forest parting.

The trail that I had been following leads to the other side of the clearing. Well, I might as well get back to my lovely stroll through a pitch-black forest. Before I could reach the first hole I got a glimpse of something etched into the cliff wall.

There was a roughly chiseled picture of an eel and small letters that were blurry for a solid second or two before the reconstructed themselves into understandable English.

“A query for quick quarry miners.

In the Ghastly Gorge game of cat and mouse.

Would a Qarrary eel be the cat or the mouse?”

“I don’t know, eels are probably the ‘or’ option,” I giggled like a madman. My skill for wit clearly above average.

With the reading by lantern light done, I walked towards the other side of the clearing. After passing the first hole I swear I heard some hissing, but y’ know it’s the middle of the night and I couldn't afford to get spooked. Though after walking past the second hole and seeing two giant orange eyes burning into my side was enough to get me speed walking. A giant burgundy eel slowly slithered out of the third and final hole.

“I, uh, didn’t mean it when I called you an ‘or’ earlier,” I sheepishly said as the giant eel peeled the rest of its body out of its hole.

The eels stabbed its colossal head forwards, it missed me by a hair. Realization struck me, it must have poor eyesight. Though carrying this lantern would make me lose any advantage I had, but losing this lantern would be a nightmare.

That's if I lived through this experience. I heard hissing behind, another eel ripped its body out of its hole. It shattered the rock face above its hole.

“Okay, okay, just gotta wait for the righ”- The colossal eel charged forward, and with a large amount of luck and a little miracle, I dodged its oncoming attack. “Now!”

The eel behind me had crashed into the one in front of me allowing me to escape. I ran towards the mess of jaws and scales that made up these eel-esque being and ran between a gap between the two of them. After running for a bit I managed to get to the other side of the clearing and luckily with no more eel encounters.

“What kinda LSD nightmare trip am I on?” I questioned aloud. The tracks seemed to continue even further.

I was exhausted but I couldn't risk stopping, my fear, even though I wouldn't admit it, is what kept me going. I had to talk to myself to keep myself sane and alert.

“Hydras! Giant rock eels! What is going on?! This is crazy!” after exclaiming my building questions I inhaled and exhaled, what good are breathing exercises if you don’t use them, right?

“ Alright, get it together Peter!” I slapped my left hand to my head and ran it through my rough auburn hair. My suspenders and slacks were a nightmare covered in mud and soaked in sweat. I was bound to get sick if I didn't dry myself soon.

Whatever followed these tracks must also be ahead of me. I had so many questions, like why are these tracks so familiar? Why is there no footprints, but there was a lit lantern? Hoofs?

Some of these questions would be answered soon, maybe, probably not.

Author's Note

Howdy.

Thanks for reading!

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Already Angry Allegators

Chapter 3

Okay, okay, I know this sounds crazy but if you ever been really tired trees kind of start looking like really comfortable pillows. I say this cause while I was following the trail I may or may not have fallen asleep. Waking up from my slumber was uncomfortable, to say the least.

“Fuckin trees misleading me like that,” I yawned as I stretched, my body hurt more today then it did yesterday. Damn that eel experience did a number on me. Standing up I stretched and few resounding cracks could be heard.

At least it didn’t rain, so that’s a plus, I’d completely lose the tracks if it rained. My lantern isn’t lit anymore, which is negative to the previous positive, so hopefully, I’ll be able to find that hunter before nighttime or be smart enough to lite the lantern.

After I finished stretching I continued following the tracks for some time, and as I followed the tracks I took the time to observe the environment and was met with something amazing.

A vast and beautiful expanse of land going for miles. This is also what I feared, no towns whatsoever. Since the trail leads to an incline I imagine it leads out of the gorge.

Though at the base of the incline I noticed something. Something odd and definitely quite familiar. As I got closer, the blob in the distance become a lot more clear. At the base of the incline laid a familiar alligator, if that's what you could call it.

The creature itself looked like an alligator from a distance and maybe up close if you happened to be riding it, but it was clearly larger and suited enough for extended travel. Large bulky legs and thick scales with a jaw that looked like it could crush boulders.

However, its usually thick green hide had been dyed a shade of red. It had either fought or eaten something. My guess, it ate whatever the hunter was trying to hunt or it ate the hunter. It looked like it was resting, so I could try my hand at sneaking around it.

As I approached from behind it I slowly and methodically inched around to its side. Now I was expecting to see the remnants of some poor deer or a deceased hunter. What I did not expect to see was a broken spear sticking out of the alligator. So it wasn't something else’s blood.

“Man, this sucks,”

The words slipped out my mouth before I could even stop them. With those words came the attention of the resting beast. It turned its massive head towards my position, its giant purple eyes boring deep into me.

As tense as the stare was it was cut short, the alligator lowered its head, or more like it just couldn't support it anymore. I slowly moved towards the incline never taking my eyes off the giant alligator.

“I made it,” I whispered as I slowly walked up the incline. Every step I took I felt guilty. I mean the reason its technically in that position is my fault. With one sideways look, I walked back down the incline with a sigh.

“I’m gonna end up losing an arm,”

Well, it had been bleeding pretty bad, but there is some good news whoever stabbed the thing made a clean-cut, no debris in the wound so that's good. Let’s just hope it didn’t hit an artery. I leaned down towards the wound making sure to keep an eye on the alligator, said alligator made no move to stop me.

I took off shirt causing my suspender to dangle around my waste. Balling up my shirt I decided needed to remove the spear. The only reason for my decision was because every time that alligator would move the spearhead would cause damage.

“Alright lizard, this is gonna hurt tons, so I'm gonna hand you my shoe alright,” I slowly took off my shoe and held it out. It blinked slowly with each eye then snorted. I don’t think it understood what I said. So I gingerly laid my shoe next to its jaws.

Now came the hard part, I positioned myself above the creature and wrapped my hand around the broken piece of the spear. With a jerk of movement and speed blessed by Hermes, I removed the spearhead.

I immediately had flashbacks to the previous time I was on top of this lizard. Especially the time it attempted to take my head off my body.

“Calm down you stupid lizard if you move you’re gonna die faster!” I exclaimed as It’s powerful muscles went to work on removing me from its back.

Thankfully I had my legs tightly enough around its back to stop me from falling off. I'm glad it’s exhausted or else I couldn't have tired it down. I reached down with my shirt to apply pressure. I don’t know how long I sat there I believe it roughly thirty minutes.

I wrapped my shirt around the alligator and ripped off my suspenders to secure the shirt around its torso. At this point, I had removed myself from its back. Okay, it should be fine to leave it now, it sucks I don’t have a shirt now.

I heard something like footfalls.

“Finally a person!” I turned around to come face to muzzle with a zebra. The zebra in question had several pieces of equipment, by equipment I meant very familiar spears tied to its body.

“Hey, will you look at that now were gettin’ somewhere! Now, where would the person all those spears belong to be at?” I questioned aloud.

The alligator once it opened one of its eyes widened its maw. Being around the lizard for the past hour still didn't nullify its intimidation factor. Must have been trying to scare off the zebra.

What was the zebra going to do, chuck spears at it, that's just silly. That’s what I thought until the zebra reached for one of the spears on its back.

“Wait, what?” I blurted out.

The zebra had the spear in hoof and had it pointed directly at me. This left me, how do I say it, flabbergasted.

“C-can you understand me?” I looked at the zebra expecting some person to pop out of a nearby bush and say it’s just a prank.

A simple nod from the zebra managed to shatter my world view more than any hydra with bad breath ever could.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading!

I hope you have an amazing day!

To Tremendous Trees

Chapter 4

Being speared isn’t necessarily the worst way to go from what I’ve heard. It could have been worse, death by extream constipation or death by snoo snoo are good examples of a worse fate. That doesn’t mean I would appreciate getting a spear through the torso.

“Alright, hey, how about we just lay down the spear so I don’t end up with a new orifice,” I gestured towards the zebra hoping it would understand “Y-you can talk right?”

The zebra didn’t respond how I was expecting it to, but then again nothing was going how I was expecting it to. It made a simple gesture, it put a hoof to its throat and made an x symbol.

“Ah, you’re blind, got it,” the zebra met my response with a searing glare “U-uh, just joking, it’s a defense mechanism!”

The zebra huffed and sheathed its spear. It began reaching into one of its many pouches tied around its waist. It pulled out a pile of brown powder.

“So are you gonna sleep powder me or something?” my question went unanswered, finally something I expected! I don’t know if sleep powder is a thing but whatever.

The zebra walked past me to the wounded alligator behind me. Once it reached the wound site it removed the binding I applied earlier and started applying the powder directly to the wound.

I shit you not the flesh itself start sowing itself back together, it was both disgusting and amazing to watch. The wound itself was still there but the flesh was slowly mending itself together and I had front row seats to see it happing.

“Magic bullshittery confirmed,” I stared at the wound and then at the zebra “How did you do that?”

The zebra just raised an eyebrow and started walking to the left of the incline. I guess she lives somewhere in the gorge. I gave the alligator a small look then turned my attention towards the exiting zebra.

“Hey, wait up!” I hurriedly followed after the zebra.

“So are you some kind of amazing wizard? Or are you like a god deity? That’d be pretty neat,” My only response was a blank stare.

“Oh yeah, not much of a talker,”

“Are you male?” the zebra shook her head.

“Do you live in this gorge?” I ran up to the side of her. “Not that this place isn’t pleasant, I really love the giant eels,”

She nodded, a small smirk made its way to her muzzle.

“What a lovely place to live.”

“Alright, I’m gonna cut straight to the point, you got some food? I’ve been lost in the wild for the past 2 and a half days,” I questioned the female zebra, exhaustion evident in my voice.

I’d rather be honest with myself as well as the zebra in front of me. I was hungry and very thirsty. I wanted my intentions to be known immediately. She looked uncertain for some time before gesturing for me to follow her.

I don’t know how long we’ve been walking but during this seemingly long walk, I inspected my silent companion. The zebra was decorated with piercings and other bits and bobbles. A gourd and several pouches adorned her waist. It was an interesting getup.

We soon arrived at a house. Mind you, since I’ve gotten here everything's been pretty tame, just a hydra, a few land eels, and a talking zebra. However, seeing a house inside a giant lopsided willow tree blew my mind.

“That's amazing!” I whisper screamed.

“I would scream but last time I did that a hydra appeared out of nowhere.”

The tree itself was nothing to scoff at, it was huge, it seemed like it rested most of its weight against the wall of the gorge. Adorning the tree were several masks that were tribal in nature. Several ornaments were hanging from the thick branches above us.

“You live here?”

The zebra nodded her head before continuing into the tree hut. Once she opened the door I was graced with an array of particular smells and sights. In the middle of the hut sat a large iron cauldron. Next to the cauldron a small crate of cleaning supplies, and a box of ingredients.

Along the interior walls were sets of shelves stuffed full of books and not so neatly placed potions. Albeit I could only assume they were potions they just looked like gourds with small white caps. Several candles were placed throughout the cozy tree home, many of them placed on the edges of previously mentioned shelves.

“This is a pretty neat crib you got here,”

“Since you agreed to help me I'm more than willing to help you with anything you need,”

Putting myself this far into a stranger's han-hoofs made me uncomfortable, but I don’t have that many options. Its either be at the mercy of a spear-wielding zebra or be at the mercy of mother nature. Screw mother nature, I’ll take my chances with magic powder making zebras.

So a couple of hours passed, and thankfully my amazing hostess gave me some bread and water. Truly a godsend that one is. After eating, me and miss zebra sat down at a small table that was tucked in the corner of the hut. The table itself was littered with scrolls, books, and dirty bowls.

“So what’s your name?”

The zebra at the time of my question was smoking from a tobacco pipe. Once I finished the question, a steady stream of smoke was released from her muzzle contorted and started forming words in the air.

Mchawi Bubu

“Huh, well, my name is Peter, nice to meet you...miss...er...can I call Mchawi?” I asked. Mchawi nodded her head.

“Since you helped me I was hoping to compensate you for the food and water with labor.” she nodded her head confirming our agreement. To say I was glad was an understatement.

“This’ll just be until I repay my debt, and then I’ll skedaddle.” I glanced at the surrounding hut, it was a cleaning nightmare. I’d have my work cut out for me.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Crappy Cleaning Catastrophes

Crappy Cleaning Catastrophes

Some say scaling a mountain is similar to cleaning a dirty house. Screw them, it's worse, so much worse.

Day 1

Mchawi is a really nice lady but she has a bad habit of not cleaning her hut. It’s kind of absurd the amount of crap laying around. I started with cleaning the main table of the hut and not even five minutes in I caused a Jenga-esque effect.

The table itself was covered in almost aliteral mountain of books. Now being the genius that I am I started cleaning at the bottom of the book mountain.

“Man, cleaning sure is something, wait, why’d it get darker?” The shadow of my impending doom loomed over me.

Needless to say, I was almost crushed to death by knowledge. I had to crawl out the pile of books, and then lay the books aside for later organization. After that, I had to explain to a miffed zebra why one of her books got bloody.

Day 2

Mchawi was a pleasant conversationalist, we ‘talked’ about many subjects while I cleaned her hut. Though the second-hand smoke made it a little difficult to have extended conversations. In most of the conversations, we never actually talked about ourselves much.

I was cleaning out the central cauldron when I stumbled on a really old newspaper, though I almost missed it because I was talking to Mchawi. The newspaper itself was almost completely in tatters but the headline was legible. The headline molded and reformed into English.

Princess Celestia pushes for Everfree bandit investigation.

“Really? Princess Celestia? What creative naming.” Mchawi gave me a questioning glance.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, It’s silly, it’s a silly name!” She rolled her eyes and returned to reading her book.

I spent the rest of the day trying to clean a stubborn cauldron stain.

Day 3

Magic and I have a love-hate relationship and today only proved this correct. Mchawi, bless her soul, had to leave for a bit and intrusted me to deal with disposing of her magic garbage. Throwing away the garbage couldn’t have been a more difficult task.

I was just supposed to put it in a small hole not even ten feet from the hut but some crazy magic BS happened. I got five feet towards the hole before things started getting trippy. Turns out holding all the magic waste was not a good idea, probably should have put it in a bag or something.

I was lifted off the ground by magic garbage, yeah, even garbage can hold a grudge. I spent twenty minutes trying to ‘swim’ in the air just to make some forward progress. It took me twenty minutes to move five feet!

I did eventually make it to the hole and drop the garbage off but I was still floating. So I just spent most of the day floating around while waiting for Mchawi to get back and when she did get back it took an hour for her to do some anti-magic bullcrap.

Screw magic.

Day 4

I’ve cleaned up most of Mchawi’s hut except the cellar, which I was hoping to start today. Mchawi warned me that the cellar would be the death of me or something like that. The cellar couldn't be that bad.

It wasn’t that bad, it was worse. Seriously the cellar was a nightmare, it looked like a shitstorm went right through the cellar. The cellar contained tipped over furniture and some old photographs, as well as an array of items from different cultures. Mchawi must have traveled the world at some point.

Old shelves lined the walls of the cellar each one stuffed to the brim with powders and other ingredients. Now, this would be fine if the shelves themselves weren't almost destroyed by the weight of such items.

After looking around the cellar for a bit I grabbed my precious cleaning supplies and went to work. I regretted my decision immediately once I realized how much of a daunting task it was.

Day 5

It’s my last full day here, honestly, I might miss slaving away for Mchawi amusement. I don’t have much to do anymore I mean I’ve practically cleaned her hut till it was spotless. So I asked Mchawi If I could read some of her books.

She agreed to let me read some of them as long as I don’t dye any of them red like last time. Which was both nice and very intimidating! So with nothing to do and a good bit of time I grabbed a book walked outside and started reading.

I spent an hour or so just relaxing and reading before I heard a loud explosion followed by some coughing. I rushed inside the hut to find Mchawi with a frazzled mane and wide eyes. However, what was more shocking was the room, the room I spent several hours cleaning, was now a complete mess again.

“I leave for like one second and you explode the place!”

There goes the rest of my relaxing day of reading.

Final Day

I spent most of the morning gathering information and speaking with Mchawi on where I was supposed to go. She just told me to head up the incline and follow the railroad south to Appleloosa.

She gave me some bread and some other necessary supplies for travel. A small fire starter kit and some water in case I travel longer than intended. After she gave me the supplies I was about to say goodbye but something odd happened before I could.

A large thump sounded outside the door followed by a familiar huff.

“Were you expecting visitors or something?” Mchawi only smirks at my inquiry before gesturing towards the door.

I crept towards the door and gently opened it. To my surprise, I found a familiar snout lazily laying at my foot. The alligator from before was laying at the door just staring at me. I closed the door and opened it again just to make sure.

I don’t think this thing was an alligator, It’s huge! It looks like a diregator, totally going to copyright that.

“Uh, hey Mchawi, were you expecting a lizard?” She just laughed and pointed her hoof towards the diregator.
Upon closer inspection, the diregator was wearing a saddle and had a small wooden platform on its tail presumably for holding items.

“Huh, so...you...what?” I wonder how she got her hooves

Mchawi went on to explain that she managed to communicate with the diregator with a certain spell, and she managed to convince it to give me a ride.

“Welp, I’m gonna die.” I didn’t know what to do so without much thought I walked over to the oversized reptile.

“Hey, remember me you big lump of scales?” It just huffed in response.

“Well, I'm just gonna assume that means yes and you forgive me pulling a ‘grand theft auto’ move on you.” I maneuvered myself on to the back of the gargantuan lizard.

“Hey, If I’m ever around here again I’ll stop by!” I looked at Mchawi and waved goodbye and thanked her for everything she has done. I looked towards the incline and let out a held in sigh.

"Time to perform a perilous peregrination."

I still didn't have a shirt.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!

I hope you have a radical day!

👍

Traveling To Tumble Town

Traveling To Tumble Town

So let me tell you this, the saddle to ride the diregator requires one to lay down on one's stomach, but that's uncomfortable so screw that. So here I am, laying on my back, arms lazily hanging off the sides of the giant gator as it meanders forward. The alligator itself didn’t mind surprisingly.

We walked up the incline a while back and were now following the railroad south. We traveled for quite a bit of time, enough for it to turn night time. The environment changed quite drastically in a very short amount of time or at least it seemed short.

There was nothing around except sand, cacti, and more sand. Oh, I almost forgot the fuck ton of tumbleweed that will cartoonishly roll by whenever it got too quiet or somebody made a bad joke.

The big lizard just harrumphed and laid down, the big guy must have been tired. I hopped off him and took any supplies he had on him to make him more comfortable.

Using the firestarter kit I got from Mchawi I set up a small fire. That solves that problem, I pulled out a large piece of salted meat from my sack of many things and fed it to the big gator.

“Don’t eat me or something when I go to sleep,” I mumbled.

With our small camp set up, I had time to think. My thoughts turned towards my reading escapades. The information I got from reading was mind-boggling.

Turns out I was in a land called Equestria, pretty weird name but whatever. This land was run by ponies and several other mythological beings.

I had a small bedroll that I laid on. I stared at the wide and open sky and noticed the sky was lit with a beautiful and unfamiliar pattern of stars.

“So, I’m in another world.” The sentence itself sparked a sense of melancholy.

I went to bed that night feeling more uncertain then I had in a long time.

I woke up the following morning with a mild headache and a want for coffee. I got up and looked around, luckily the alligator didn’t eat me so that's good, I think. I got to packing all the camping materials onto the diregator’s back.

“So are you used to people are somethin’? It’s only been like seven or eight days since you were in the wild.”

The diregator didn’t respond it just lazily started walking alongside the railroad, I decided to walk this time instead of laying on it’s back.

A few hours passed without much happening the only thing worth mentioning was the odd amount of tumbleweed. They would just appear out of nowhere and disappear just as suddenly, then again this could just because I wasn’t paying attention.

My attention was actually on the horizon because on the horizon sat the outline of a town. The railroad seemed to be run right through the town so we’d be there eventually.

“So when I get there how am I gonna explain a giant gator, and how am I can explain what I am?”

My questions went unanswered, It should be known these questions did have a backing. See, the book only referred to Equestria and its dominant race, ponies. However, it did mention other races dominating other areas. I’m pretty sure humans are not among those races. I could probably just explain the gator away as an abnormally scaly and large dog.

“Guess I’ll deal with It when we get there,” I sighed.

After walking for a bit I heard the sound of a train rattling down the train track, it was coming from behind us. A billowing cloud of steam rocketed from the front car of the locomotive as it raced down the track at a surprising speed.

It would have looked cooler if said steam spouting car was not covered in hearts, actually that's kind of intimidating, nevermind. The train eventually started passing by us, as it did I managed to catch a glimpse of something written on the pink caboose of the train.

Friendship Express

“I hate it.” The alligator to my right huffed in response to my opinion, I'm just going to assume what it meant.

“I’m glad you agree.”

The train seemed to stop in Appleloosa for some time before continuing, we arrived at the border of the town just as the train was leaving and the sun was setting. Somewhere along the journey, I hopped on my reptilian companion.

The horizon outlined something I hadn’t paid attention too, there was a ton of apple trees on the southern part of the town.

I was a little too anxious to walk into the town yet, so I grabbed my camping supplies which were now incredibly low and set up camp just a little way outside Appleloosa. I made sure to feed the big lizard the last of the salted meat and set up the camp. Wait a minute, where did that zebra get meat? Oh, that's weird to think about.

I'll think when I'm not tired.

I rolled out the bedroll and laid down for the night.

“The sun sucks and It should be banned,” I stated as I stumbled into the morning routine of packing up the small camp.

Though it should be mentioned all camping materials were gone, no firestarter or food was left. Better hope the locals were charitable.

Since our camp was set just outside the border of the town I could observe what the town looked like. The town from my perspective continued off the railroad, while the railroad continued to the right of the orchard south of the town.

I was also able to perceive more of the town, a large red building with, what I assume was a clock tower, coming from its roof. A few other buildings were beside the noticeably giant building.

We marched towards the town in hopes of food, and hopefully not an angry mob. I can’t deal with torches and pitchforks well.

As we neared the town from the railroad the town became clearer, and I immediately started chuckling. I read a large advertisement outside the train station.

Big Bill’s Big Hat Stop to Shop

The advertisement itself was a picture of a small green shop with a large cowboy hat on its roof.

Though that may have been funny what was funnier was the ponies walking around the train station, some with comically large cowboy hats or bonnets.

“Oh my god, this is some kind of oddly specific hell.”

Author's Note

Hey!

Thanks for reading, I appreciate it!

Remember, If you see something off just tell me in the comments. 🤝

I hope you have the most amazing day! 😁

Star Slingin' Sheriffs

Star Slingin’ Sheriffs

“Okay, this is the perfect amount of stupid.”

The statement slipped out of my mouth upon seeing the big hat wearing pony folk. Though it was hard to say when one was laughing as much as I was. My laughing drew the attention of the closest pony, a mare with a pink bonnet on her head.

She quite literally jumped in the air and let out a scream. She galloped towards the center of town screaming sheriff. I didn’t know what to do, so I went up to my scaly companion and sat on his back.

“Welp my lizard friend, we might have to deal with the whole mob thing, after all, I hope you’re a fan of pitchforks.”

We weren’t even in the town, we were ten feet from the train station and I could still hear the panic from the settlement. Several voices could be heard from the mess that became of the town, I was getting pretty nervous.

“Get the youngins inside!”

“Somepony get the sheriff!”

“Where’s my pitchfork?”

I started rethinking my decision not to move. The commotion eventually subsided with the appearance of two ponies. One of the ponies, obviously the superior because of his mustache and red bandanna, pointed at me from a distance while he talked with a colleague. His colleague was an older yellow stallion.

Ponies come in an array of colors apparently.

Their appearance made them out to be sheriffs, the yellow pony, in particular, had a large golden star on his black stetson. The two of them seemed to be bickering about something, each one pointing at me than their partner.

Deciding now was a good time to act I raised my arm and started a nonintentional exaggerated wave.

“Hey fellas, how's the weather?”

“Real smooth dipshit,” I whispered right after my question.

Their expressions of confusion only amplified my embarrassment. Waving from a huge alligator while asking about the weather in a populated town, not exactly my smartest moment. I hopped off the intimidating lizard and started walking towards the sheriffs.

“Now ya wait for a darn second ya varmint,” stated the mustached stallion once I got within five feet of them.

“You can’t just make a racket and expect nopony ta care.”

“W-well Mr. Sheriff all I did was mosey my way into town, but before I could even introduce myself and my...er...companion they started screaming,” I replied.

“Look here I’m takin’ ya in for questionin’, I suggest you comply.”

“What about my gator friend?”

“I’ll have my partner do somethin’ ‘bout it,” I responded to his reply with a curt nod.

The sheriff waved me over with his hoof, I assumed he meant for me to follow him. We passed over the railroad and continued along the central dirt road of the town. Now with a better view of the town, I could make out the buildings. Most of them were straight out of an old western movie.

We passed a saloon, a millinery, and a store entirely dedicated to apples, there was also a disco place, weird. We eventually arrived at a building that I assumed was the sheriff’s office. The sheriff pushed open the purple door and pointed inside. Once we entered he closed the door and let out a sigh.

“Sorry ‘bout the treatment, Just had to get ya off the streets to get ponies ta calm down.”

“Jesus Christ, I thought I was about to receive capital punishment or something!”

“I can have that arranged if you don’t keep it down sonny,”

“O-oh, ok.”

“I’m just kiddin’, now where ya from, better yet, what are ya?” The sheriff went to sit behind his desk.

“I’m from a place that’s...er….far away.”

“How far we talkin’?”

“Very far, and I’m a human.”

“A human, well ain’t that just dandy.”

“Why were the ponies in town so scared, I mean, I get I was on a giant alligator but still.”

“Well If ya must know, we’ve been strugglin’ with bandits fer weeks now ‘an the buffalo have too many problems to help.” The sheriff kicked his hind legs back onto his desk and sighed.

“Jesus, I thought you were gonna say something like chupacabra attacks.” In all honesty, I wasn’t expect something so realistic.

“Pffft...those little buggers know better by now.”

“What do we do from here Sheriff, I don’t have any supplies and I have no idea where to go.”

“Well looky here, since I'm generous and friendship is magic I'll buy ya a train ticket, but only if you help out three of the townfolk, deal?"

"Oh god, at least it's not a fetch quest, Deal."

The sheriff looked smug, or maybe I wanted him to look smug so I could have a reason to dislike him. He's not asking too much though just that I help people around town. What's with the friendship is magic bullhonky?

Speaking of friendship if I got a train ticket for the friendship express where would I even go? South, North, East or West my choices are pretty expansive. I don't feel good leaving the diregator behind either. I'll think about it later.

"So how do I introduce myself?"

"Don't worry, I'll be doin' the introducin'."

"Wait, who am I being introduced too?"

"A few trustworthy ponies that ain't gonna holler at the sight of ya."

"Are you calling me ugly?"

"Like the hindquarters of bad luck."

Ouch, my pride.

"What are the names of these ponies, that I'll be meeting?"

"You'll be meetin' ol' Alice who runs Alice's Apples next to the saloon."

The sheriff was about to continue but was interrupted by the creaky cringe-inducing sound of the door opening. I looked to the door only to see a very small blue pony.

"Daddy, you in her-" Her pupils shrunk to pinpoints, and her jaw dropped.

"Howdy, partner." Wow, I'm nailing these introductions.

An ear-piercing scream penetrated the air after my brief introduction. I looked at the sheriff then at the screaming pony, what are the small ponies called again, foals?

The sheriff briskly walked around his desk and dropped his stetson the screaming small pony thing, he smirked and shook his head. Funny thing is she never ran she just stood there and screamed. Little foal-whatchamacallit seemed to calm down.

"Ah, this is my filly." he took his stetson off her head. Kind of funny how big the hat was compared to her body.

"Now introduce yourself to Mr.....wait, what's your name?"

"Oh, sorry forgot about that, My name's Peter."

"Now introduce yourself, missy, trust me his brain cavity wouldn't make a drinkin' cup for a canary."

I'm probably offended, I think. Did he just call me stupid? If someone can call me stupid in and make it sound funny, then they are free to call me stupid. The small filly giggled at her father's insult.

"Howdy peter monkey, I'm Star Slinger."

Peter monkey, well isn't that just dandy.

I have a sudden desire for potassium.

Author's Note

Howdy!

Thanks for readin'!

If ya see any errors, point 'em out.

I hope you have a wonderful day partner!

🤠

Alice's Apple Arrangements

Alice's Apple Arrangements

“Why are ya protectin’ bananas so much, is it cause you’re a monkey.”

"No, I'm just saying that bananas are superior to apples."

"Are you sure It's not 'cause you're a monkey."

"I'm like fifty percent sure."

The sheriff told his daughter to guide me to Alice's shop. I already knew where it was, call it a hunch but I think the store with a giant apple on its board might be an apple shop. However, he insisted it might help my reputation with the townsfolk to be seen conversing with a pony publicly.

"What's so good 'bout bananas?"

"You are but a naive child you know not the power of potassium, apples are powerless in comparison. Speaking of Apples what is miss Alice like?" I get distracted easily.

"Well, she's an old apple and she's purty kind too, you'll know what I mean when we see her."

"Wow, that's some pleasant foreshadowing."

We walked down the street with the occasional pony doing the whole scream for the sheriff bit and we eventually arrived Ms. Alice's store. Even from some distance away, I could smell apple pie, it was the kind of smell the would magically lift you off the ground and levitate you towards it.

"Hey that smells kinda nice, It seems like a pretty fine establishment too."

"Fancy word usin' banana lover, you sayin' it's good?" I just nodded my head at her question.

"Well, of course It's good, It's Alice's Apples. Lets hurry I wanna introduce you to Alice."

The filly was pushing my leg with an astounding amount of strength in an attempt to hurry me into the shop. Man, this little pony must be on pony steroids or something.

"Jesus Christ, are you some kind of child bodybuilder?"

"Nnnope, but we earth ponies sure are strong that's fer sure."

That's a huge understatement, what the hell man. Also what are Earth ponies? The book from Mchawi's hut never mentioned that.

The store had a large apple billboard hanging horizontally outside the building with the name Alice's Apples written in some crazy ass font. The building itself looked rather old as the title of the shop looked weathered and had split corners. The back of the shop had an open window with a stereotypical pie laid on the window sill and a small brick chimney puffing smoke.

We hurriedly made our way towards the rustic looking door. I opened the door and a resounding creak echoed throughout the comfortable looking shop.

"I need ta get that darn creakin' fixed, every time a pony walks in I feel a migraine comin' on," an aged voice rambled on from the direction of the counter.

However, there was no pony in sight. I walked up to the counter and as I made my way to the counter I observed the countless items lining the shelves. All of them were apple-related, for example, apple cider and apple cobbler not to mention apple sauce. All of the apple products seemed to have the logo of two-letter 'A's.

On the counter, there was a small golden bell with an apple insignia etched into the metal. Star had to jump four or five times before she realized she couldn't reach it. Wonder if she's just smaller than the average small pony. I couldn't resist the golden bells allure for any longer.

"Ooh fancy, I'ma touch it." a little ding followed my statement.

After the delightful ding of the small bell, I heard some shuffling. I looked over the counter to see an old and short pony with oversized glasses put small wooden stairs next to the counter chair so they could reach it. So now I know what Star meant. She didn't scream like most ponies, she squinted and adjusted her glasses.

"You're a bigin aren't 'cha?" Welp, it's better to be called big than be screamed at.

"I think so." Before I could finish speaking Star decided to cut into the conversation.

"Hey, Miss Alice this is Peter, he's some kind of weird monkey thing." y'know these ponies sure are getting somewhere with naming me.

Alice adjusted her thick-rimmed glasses after hearing Star's introduction.

"Well look at that, I've seen just 'bout everythin' now."

"Thank you Star for such a stellar introduction. Hello Alice, Star's dad sent me."

"Ol' silver sent ya did he, well this outta be good, what did he send ya for?" Silver? Must be the sheriff's name, I never asked his name did I? damn.

Why'd he send me here again? He just told me he trusted her not to freak out.

"Uh, that's a good question, Ms. Alice. I don't quite remember." I'm really good at making conversation.

"Daddy sent ya here ta get ponies ta trust ya, so why don'tcha help Miss Alice around the shop for a bit?"

"I guess that makes sense, thanks for the reminder Star. Miss Alice do you need any help around the shop?"

"One minute sonny let me get the list."

She shuffled down her small chair stairs and grabbed a large piece of paper from the far underside of the counter. She went on top of her chair where she adjusted her glasses, cleared her throat, and started reading the list aloud.

"The dishes need a washin', the roof needs a fixin', apples need a mushin', the pie needs a cookin', the board needs a hammerin', the stove needs a cleanin' and the floor needs a sweepin'."

Oh, oh no, nada, not happing, nope, no, never, never ever, no thanks, non.

"Okay, is that all, I can get that fixed in a jiffy." I'm a weak weak man.

Star looked she was about to burst with laughter if the puffed-up cheeks were anything to go by.

"Is it okay if Star helps me clean?"

"It'll do her some good, sure, why not," replied the Elderly pony.

Star's once joyful face had slowly degenerated into a frown. Now Star knows true pain. Anyways I got right to work, of course, I made sure a certain small blue pony with a knack for talking smack didn't try to leave. She and I worked for a few hours. Working at miss Alice's shop was definitely a good experience, I learned how to make a pie.

Then I realized I had didn't know where I was going to sleep, but hey at least I know how to make a good pie.

Author's Note

Thank ya kindly for readin'.

I would appreciate it if ya could report spotted errors ta me.

I hope you have a wonderful day. 🤠

Also, what's better 🍌 or 🍎 ?

Alice's Anonymous Assistant

Alice's Anonymous Assistant

I slept on the floor of Ms. Alice's shop, it makes me miss my lantern and bedroll. The sun broke through the store windows like this floor broke my back.

However, Ms. Alice woke me up with grand request.

"I' ma need ya to work the counter fer a bit, I gotta inspect a barn bein' put up 'round the orchard."

"Sure, ugh, what time is it, you ponies have coffee right?"

"I got apple tea."

"Thank you for your hospitality, Ms. Alice"

I sat down at the counter with a small mug of hot apple tea. Wait a sec, did she just leave me in charge of the store? Oh, this is certainly profanity inducing. Luckily for me, most ponies are scared of me so working the counter shouldn't be too difficult. I shouldn't be happy about that. I got ready to run the counter for a few hours.

A good bit of time passed, If I had to guess I would say it's about twelve or so. I passed out from lack of sleep on the counter, after an unknown amount of time later I heard the golden bell of the counter being rung constantly. My head shot up with astounding speed.

Ringing the bell was a lime-colored mare with a yellow mane. She just stared at me and started ringing the golden bell again. The mare herself looked normal, the only distinguishable thing would be her oversized bonnet and a shit ton of freckles.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, wake up the big monkey monster, what do you need lady?" Man, I'm a dick. She put a jar of apple sauce from one of the shelves on the counter.

I just realized something really bad, what the fuck is the currency, I looked at the jar and noticed a sticker with the number two on it. I'm assuming that's the amount it costs.

"That'll be two something."

Damn, what's the currency called? What am I supposed to say, dollars? This will be embarrassing if I don't figure this out soon. The mare put two gold coins on the counter oblivious to my inner turmoil. I quickly handed her the jar of applesauce.

"I, uh, make sure to come back for great quality apple products, we are open till five!" I panicked.

The mare nodded and walked outside and closed the door with a horrific creak. Man, where do I put this money? I'll just shove it in one of the apple sacks under the counter. Once I slipped the two gold coins into the sack I heard the creaking of the shop door fill the room.

I looked over the counter, there was a huge stallion looking around the shop. The stallion himself was wearing an extremely small stetson which looked pretty funny compared to his body size. If this goes south though I'm going to end up with broken bones in every part of my body.

The brown stallion grabbed one of the applesauce jars, as he did so he accidentally hit a premade apple pie that was on display. He panicked and landed headfirst into the apple pie, he also crushed the display table. Oh jeez, I'm going to have to explain that to Alice.

"Oh man, that's gotta smart. You okay big fella?"

"Ugh."

I rounded the counter and went to help the large stallion of the ground. I grabbed the big guy's hoof and helped him up, I went into the kitchen to grab cleaning supplies to help clean the mess and help the poor pony out.

"Sorry for the trouble Mr. Anonymous, I'm Trouble Shoes."

"Don't worry about, but my name isn't Anonymous, It's Peter."

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, It's just the rumors said you were Alice's assistant but nopony had a name so the name Anonymous came 'round."

"Don't worry about it, now let's get you cleaned up and complete your purchase."

I handed him one of the rags that had been recently washed by Alice. While he was cleaning his face off I got to cleaning up the debris. I'll have to explain a good bit of things to Alice when she gets back. With the debris swept and picked up I walked behind the counter to finish the business with Trouble Shoes.

"Alright, Mr. Shoes that'll be two thingymabobbers."

"There called bits Mister."

"Thank you Mr. Shoes, that'll be two bits."

Trouble Shoes gave me a nod after dropping to gold coins on the counter. Once he made his way out the shop he promptly faceplanted, the poor guy must have some bad luck or something. I put the two gold coins into the sack beneath the counter. Hopefully, things will calm down for a bit.

I blinked, that's all it took for me to not pay attention to the door and I shit you not a unicorn walked in. He was muzzle deep in a rather large book, however, he gracefully maneuvered throughout the shop grabbing some apple cider from one of the higher shelves and stopping at the counter.

By grabbing the apple cider I mean he fucking levitated it next to him and placed it on the counter all without looking up from his book. The only way I knew he was a wizard was from his very stereotypical robe and wizard hat. I looked at the small number on the apple cider.

"Uh, well, that'll be...er...seven bits mister."

The wizard was a blue stallion with an unkempt white mane with a small pair of spectacles resting on his nose. Once he looked up from his book I could clearly see dark bags under his eye and stubble. Pony facial hair, how does that work? I can save that question for later.

His reaction was odd, after looking at me he levitated a small notebook out from his bag and then started jotting something down. While he was writing he levitated seven gold coins onto the counter. This pony was quite good at multitasking by the looks of it.

"T-thank you for the business, if you want any more high-quality apple products were open till five."

"Ah, thank you for informing me, Mr. Anonymous."

"Oh, uh, that isn't my name, I'm Peter."

"Oh? My apologies then Peter, I'm quite a busy pony so I must be on my way, good day to you." He adjusted his spectacles and walked out of the shop, cider now in hoof. He didn't have an accent either maybe he's not from Appleloosa.

After some time passing Ms. Alice eventually came back. I explained to her what had happened in the time she had been away. She gave me some bits as compensation for the work I did during my stay. I bid her farewell and walked out of the shop to find the sheriff.

"I wonder who the other two ponies I'm gonna meet are."

Probably machete-wielding murders.

Author's Note

I RETCONNED PETER'S LAST NAME

Thanks for reading.

I hope you have an amazing day.

Beware Burglin' Bandits

Beware Burglin' Bandits

I was now able to walk the streets without causing a ruckus. So after leaving Alice's, I made my way towards the sheriff's office. Once I arrived at the office I quickly took note of the large crowd outside, some were yelling and others were thrusting their pitchforks into the air.

The sheriff walked out of his office with a grim look. The mob immediately started jeering him, and a few from the crowd shouted questions. I made my way a bit closer in an attempt to understand what the angered ponies were trying to say.

"Quite, Quite!"

"Ah know yall are angry, we're workin' on it," the sheriff reasoned, or at least attempted to with the crowd.

At the sheriff's statement, the crowd exploded in anger, many of them shouting at the sheriff.

"We ain't lettin' no bottom of the barrel scum get us good like that!"

"What 'bout our families!"

"C'mon sheriff our livelihoods are at stake!"

Many ponies from the mob seemed genuinely scared, what happened? The sheriff took out a piece of paper, many ponies from the mob seemed transfixed on the sheriff's sudden action.

"From here forth anypony that can bring in Bandit King Bowie will receive five hundred 'n fifty bits, dead or alive. He's wanted for ponynapping, murder, and attempted arson of the Appleloosan orchard."

Bandit King Bowie? That is one hell of a stupid name. I mean, I get it, strike fear into the hearts of your enemies but seriously, bowie? The mob cheered, many of them raising pitchforks and torches in a stereotypical mob fashion before clearing the area, I'm assuming to talk about the subject.

After the crowd dissipated I walked over to the sheriff to ask him some questions, many of the questions dealing with what transpired.

"So...you seem busy." Ah, my conversation skills have improved.

"That's a damn understatement." Is that the first of pony profanity?

"What was all that about?"

"The bandit group Ebony Knives raided the locomotive."

Ebony Knives? A bandit attack, man this pony world just took a nosedive. Though maybe you think after dealing with hydras, giant alligators, and cleaning that my perspective would have changed earlier. Hopefully, none of the ponies on the train died.

"Any....casualties?"

"Nopony was injured, thank Celestia, however, a pony that was onboard is now bein' held for ransom." The sheriff's demeanor changed dramatically from informative and rational to something akin to fear.

"W-well, that's...er...yeah...a-anyways what about the ponies you wanted me to meet."

"Ah, sorry, I don't think now's a good time we need all hooves figurin' out where the bandits fled to."

This situation may be worse than I originally thought. When the sheriff previously mentioned bandit attacks I took it lightly, but the metaphorical shit just hit the metaphorical fan. Maybe I should help them look, It could help me earn their trust.

"Well Mr. Sheriff I don't have hoofs but I do have a pair of hands, maybe I can help."

"My name's Silver Star son, and yes, any help is the kind of help we need. Just head over to the railroad and I'll meet ya there, I got some stuff to finish here first."

Guess I'm knee-deep in a bandit investigation now, coming to this world has been one wacky ride.

"Oh, before ya head out Peter I ought to tell ya that your alligator pal is workin' out in the fields west of the orchard."

So that what happened to the lizard huh, that's pretty cool.

"Hey, sheriff which way on the railroad did the raid happen?"

"Towards the orchard."

"Got it."

I shouldn't have got myself involved in this, but then again it's this or begging on the streets so I don't have a choice. I made my way towards the railroad hoping everything would end up all right in the end. Hopefully, the bandits would give up the pony they grabbed and I wouldn't end up begging on the streets.

I made my way through town passing groups of ponies, many of them speaking about the bounty or their families. Once I reached the railroad near the border of the town I saw the friendship express.

The locomotive's frame was still intact but the amount of damage done to the thing was absurd. There were several large dents in the train's frame as well as large holes in the ceiling of many of the cars. This doesn't look like a bandit attack, not that I've seen any, this looks like it was bombed.

I looked down the right side of the track, it seemed like the railway itself also sustained heavy damage. I started following the railroad track towards where the raid happened, which is probably a very bad idea.

I was walking past a bend in the orchard which the railroad bent with when I saw the sheriff and the wizard from the shop talking. They hadn't noticed me yet so with no bad intention in mind I tried to hear what they were saying.

"Look Mr. Star I'm giving you two hours to retrieve my daughter before I burn everything in a mile, understood?"

"I'll get her by then Mr. Stone."

"You better."

I blinked and the wizard was gone no trace of him anywhere, how the hell does he do that? With my question unanswered I made my way to the sheriff who, in my opinion, looked worse for wear.

"howdy sheriff, what's happening?"

"Nothin' but a bandit invasion, I was just waitin' for you and the others to arrive."

Now that I think about it, how'd he get here before me? It isn't exactly a small walk, what's with ponies and mysteriously appearing and disappearing?

"So I got a pitchfork...am I supposed to kill a bandit if we engage them or something?"

"You bet your britches son, you best be ready for a brawl, however, if ya can capture one for questionin' that'd be a priority."

So...kill first ask questions later or question first kill later? I'm just going to assume he wants me to capture one if possible for questioning but if I can't, well...I'd better not think about it too much.

Author's Note

Woah, bandits and wandering wizards?

Thanks for readin'.

Schools startin' up fer me so my upload schedule(I don't have one) is gonna get a tad jumbled.

If ya spot any errors please notify me. 👍

Have a nice day.

Facing Fiendish Forces

Facing Fiendish Forces

The sheriff had scouted around the railroad a bit and determined that the bandit group Ebony Knives had fled into the northeast side of the orchard. I don't know how he did it, there were no hoofprints to go according to a group of appleloosans that showed up to help search.

A little while after the sunset our ragtag group of cowponies started making our way through the orchard. Though the sheriff advised us to split into groups of three. I was with two stallions, each looking pretty identical to the other, maybe they are twins.

We were told if we spotted any encampments to report it immediately to the sheriff. With all the information given to the groups, we set off in search of the bandits. Our group deviated from most of the groups that seemed to head towards the center of the northeast part of the orchard, we decided to try and monitor the border of the orchard in case the bandits left. Then again, maybe they already left, I don't know.

I decided the break the silence that had been between me and my group for some time.

"So...this is pretty crazy, right?"

"pfft...ya kiddin' me, this happens every week."

"Don't mind my rat brained brother he spends more time jokin' then thinkin'. I'm Jona, and that idiot over there's is Golds."

Soon after my question, which didn't get answered, both of the twins barraged each other with childish insults, guess good conversation went out the window. They bickered for a good thirty minutes, enough time for the environment to darken. It's been a while and no site of bandit activity on the border of the woods, maybe we should head back.

"Hey fellas, should we head back? There doesn't seem to be much activity here."

"What, are ya scared of the dark or somethin'?"

"I'm not scar-"

"scaredy-cat."

I hate this pony. I hate this pony a lot. The conversation, if you could call it that, continued for some time before becoming rather loud. Golds and I argued over leaving the area for a few minutes before I caught a glimpse of something out of my peripheral vision.

A tree with an odd shadow, Golds must have noticed as well as he turned towards the tree too.

"Hey Jona, ya got the lantern, go check it out."

"I thought ya were brave golds."

With that said, Jona walked over to the tree. Once he got to the tree he looked around for a bit then spotted something within the shadow of the tree. He gestured for us to come over, his shocked expression only increased my worry as I walked over.

A corpse. I could feel pressure in my chest when I saw it. Where'd it come from, who is it, was it murder? There were a lot of questions that needed answers. Jona and goldy handled about as much as I did, except for Jona who stared barfing in some bushes.

Looks to be a stallion from one of the search groups, from his injuries I could at least tell he was stabbed which means this must have been intentional. With that morbid realization, I realized we had to report this to the sheriff immediately. He said he would southwest of our current location, which was east of the northeast part of the orchard.

"We have to report this to the sheriff."

"I-I agree."

Golds didn't say anything, he just nodded his head. We decided that heading through the forest was faster than heading around it as we did on the way here. We jogged through the forest trying to keep our composure from the earlier experience, it was difficult, to say the least.

Just a few minutes after we started jogging I spotted a light within the darkness of the surrounding orchard. I turned to the twins and pointed at the orange light. It was was most likely from a lantern if I had to guess. Maneuvering as swiftly as a man without a shirt could I arrived at the source of light.

It was the sheriff and his group though they seemed to be in a confrontation of sorts. The sheriff and his group of ponies were staring down a rather large pony who was holding a knife to a familiar mare's neck. I imagine the large pony was the leader of the bandit group, though he was only backed by two ponies. I quietly grabbed the lantern from Jona's hoof and turned off the light inside. I could hear some whispers from the conversation.

"Bowie, you flea riddin' scum sucker, do ya know what you're doin'!?"

"Better watch your mouth sheriff, somethin' might happen to the mare."

I crept through the woods watching every step and paying close attention to my breathing, as soon as I was near I put my back to the closest tree and an ear to the confrontation, time to do some stealthy eavesdropping. At least I'm getting better at It.

"Not only will ya die if ya don't hand her up, but yer ponies are gonna get scorched!"

"Haha, nice one sheriff, real funny, but I don't believe ya."

This conversation was getting nowhere fast. I'm not a fighter and trust me if I ever fought someone it would show. However, I had a lantern, the perfect weapon to use on unsuspecting ponies.

"Lantern attack!"

I jumped out from behind the tree and slammed the lantern's iron frame against the bandit's head, a resounding thud echoed through the orchard. He was out like a light or a lantern one of the two. The mare he was holding seemed fine, now the only problem I had were the two bandits that just saw me lantern a pony.

The large pony being knocked out was enough of a distraction for the sheriff and his group of cowponies to tackle the other two bandits, the group ignoring the large daggers the bandits had been holding. Now that everything, to an extent, had been settled I took a look at the mare.

It was the lime mare who had previously entered Alice's shop. I've noticed that she didn't seem to be the talkative type. With my observation of the mare done I turned to the group of ponies and pondered the situation.

It's probably a bad time to be missing my shirt.

Author's Note

Man, shirts are awesome.

Thank you for reading.

If you see any errors please notify me.

Really Rad Rodeo

Really Rad Rodeo

"So let me get this straight, ya decided in a hostage situation to attack the hostage-takers, with a lantern."

"It was that or call him mean names for twenty minutes."

The sheriff let out a rather large sigh. It wasn't a secret that he was exhausted, I'm surprised he was able to work as much as he did. I explained the situation involving the corpse we had founder along the border of the orchard. The sheriff deflated a bit but grabbed some of his men and headed over to investigate a bit.

The sheriff said to just head to his office and take the couch for the night. As he was heading out he also told me we'd speak in detail about my situation later.

With an exhausting day being put behind me, I trudged back to the town, broken lantern in hand, ready to sleep. The sheriff's door was locked so I had to climb through an unlocked window. Once I got in I collapsed onto the couch, my last thought before I fell asleep was something along the lines of My missing pitchfork'.

I woke up to the sounds of cheering and loud laughter. I hate hearing both of these things right when I wake up. I rolled off the couch onto the dusty wooden floor smacking my forehead on the wood before I got up. I poked my head out the office window, I almost said get off my lawn.

In the central road of Appleoosa was a large celebration, many of the ponies were drinking and cheering. I guess I must have slept later then I expected. The celebration was a rodeo or at least it looks like one, I'm pretty far away from the crowd so I couldn't tell. Once I was finished observing the crowd I made my way to the door.

Before I could reach down and open the door, it flew open to reveal the sheriff and his daughter.

"Well if it ain't the drunkard that's been hoggin' the couch!"

"Peter monkey, I heard ya beat some bad guys!"

Is closing the door a valid option in this conversation?

"I didn't do much, your dad did most of the work."

"Nuh-uh, I heard ya beat three bandits with your weird arm thingies behind your back!"

"Nah kid you have it a bit mixed up, also before I forget, Sheriff we needed to talk about some stuff, right?"

"Right, Star why don't ya watch the rodeo for a bit."

"Yes daddy," the small filly mumbled. Must not have liked getting booted out of the conversation.

"So first things first, I'd like ta thank ya fer what you did last night during the hostage situation, even if it was mighty risky."

"It was something."

"Well, that 'something' of a move saved the orchard and the bandits inside from bein' burned!"

"What do you mean?" Might as well play dumb, it'd be weird if I knew what he meant.

"The hostage was the daughter of Brim Stone, of the Stone family! Mighty big family, lotta control over this region."

So you're telling me that the blue stallion that walked into Alice's shop was some big shot? His daughter looks nothing like him, never would have guessed they were related. Guess he was quite literal when he said he would burn the bandits.

"Oh, well, at least she is safe and nobody got burned."

"Almost nopony, your lantern burned Bowie's mane and fur after you hit him."

"Oh jeez, he deserved it though."

"Before I forget, the next and last pony I want ya to meet is gonna be outside this office 'round evening time."

"Really? Also, how am I gonna travel now that the train is wrecked?"

"Don't worry I got it covered, and the pony will probably find you before you find them so don't worry 'bout not seein' them."

A pony trotted out from the crowd with a worried expression, once he noticed the sheriff he quickly made his way over.

"Sorry ta interrupt, but it seems like some ponies are makin' trouble at the saloon."

"Let's head over, let me just grab some cuffs from the office, we'll talk later Peter."

So I'm just supposed to hang out here then? Maybe I could head out and enjoy the festivities for a bit. With that in mind, I walked out of the office towards the crowd of colorful ponies. Once I looked carefully though, there were buffaloes among the crowd of ponies.

As I neared the crowd there were some interesting sounds coming from a rodeo. Interesting only because they sound unnatural and cartoonish. As I made my way to the weird sounds and the crowd I noticed something, the ponies didn't seem as cautious as they were originally.

Once I got past the crowd I was met with a peculiar spectacle. There was a stallion making a fool of himself, I guess it makes sense too since it Trouble Shoes. Who would thought all that bad luck could be used for entertainment. Every time he slipped or had a random pie smashed on his face the laughter of the crowd was a common response.

Seemed the cartoonish sound was the honking of a clown's nose and many other slapstick sounds. I thought it was pretty funny, and before I knew it I was laughing with the crowd and enjoying the rodeo clown's routine. It is weird to think yesterday even happened.

I shook my head to get rid of that stinkin' thinkin' and headed off to some of the stalls set up along the road. I had the bits from the work I did for Alice maybe I could get something to help me along my journey to nowhere. With that thought in mind, I walked from vendor to vendor checking out their wares.

I ended up eating an apple pie and chatting with a few ponies playing some carnival-esque games for an hour or two. Times passed before I knew it. Most of the ponies cleared out after a while, but I had time to spare so I walked to the struggling stalls.

The last stall was odd and eye-catching, there were several brass items and shiny bits and bobbles decorating the wooden stall's exterior. A pony ran the stall, a stallion by the looks of it. Once I approached there seemed to be many items laid across the counter.

"Hello there my good sir, what can I get for you today?"

Oh? He isn't from appleoosa, he seems to be missing the country twang.

"Ah, I'm just looking around."

Among his many, many items I saw and picked up a brass compass. It looked pretty cool, very shiny.

"Oh, are you interested?"

"Uh, sure."

"it's a basic brass compass, so since it's unused it'll be nine bits."

Fuck me man, I don't know if I'm being scammed or not. Ugh, I'm going to have to suck it up and pay it until I figure out average prices.

"Here."

Before I handed him the money he stopped me by putting his hoof up.

"For an additional two bits, I'll throw in this map I got here, be warned though this thing is quite old."

"Fine."

I feel like I've been robbed.

Author's Note

I'm sorry this one is so late, I'm sick. 😷

If you see any errors please report them to me, being sick made seeing error a little bit harder.

Thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Man Meets Mage

Man Meets Mage

With my new items in hand, I headed back to the sheriff's office to meet the last pony. I wonder if the pony I'm meeting is a pony I've met before.

I arrived at the office shortly after I started walking, only to notice that there was no pony outside the office. Maybe I was early or something. Since no one was outside I went towards the office door and decided to head inside. As I reached down to the handle a large popping sound came from behind me along with a flash of orange light.

"Hmmm...sheriff Silver wasn't kidding when he said you were odd-looking." I knew that voice, but of course, I only realized that after my really manly shriek of terror.

"Jesus criminy biscuits," I couldn't help exclaiming as I turned around.

"Peter was it?"

He was completely unphased by my amazing screaming abilities, he didn't even blink!

"Y-yep that's me."

"We need to have a lengthy discussion but before then let's relocate to a more comfortable environment."

The stoic stallion turned around without so much as a backward glance and started walking to the local inn. I rushed to catch up to the fast-paced stallion. I tried chatting while we walked but he was somewhat cold to any small talk, god I hate awkward silence.

We walked into the inn, upon entry it seems the awkward silence spread to everyone in the inn. This is torture, pure unadulterated torture. He walked up to the barkeep and made some gestures before sliding the barkeep something. I couldn't overhear the conversation because of the now spreading background noise.

The stallion, what was his name again? Stoner? Mr. Stone? Damn, I'm getting worse at remembering names. He gestured for me to follow him, he started walking into a backroom. I'm getting the 'I'm about to get jumped' feeling. The backroom must have been for VIPs or something, there were cigars and alcoholic beverages already ready for use.

Mr. Stoneface or whatever his name sat down in the corner booth. The feeling of meeting a mob boss continued to rise once I realized we were the only ones in the backroom. Once I sat down opposite of him, he levitated a bottle of wine and poured it into two glasses.

Man, magic is neat.

He took a sip of the wine and then stared ahead, his stoic face moved minimally as he talked.

"You played a crucial role in saving my daughter. Since I don't like being in debt I have a set of offers for you."

"W-well, I really didn't do too much, it was mainly-"

"I can't give everypony a reward, I said you played a crucial role."

Jesus, this guy is something else.

"Oh, well, what are the offers?"

"Offer one, I give you a certain amount of bits and we never speak of this again. Offer two, I've been informed you are homeless, so you may have a spot on one of the Stone family carriages arriving tomorrow morning. If you accept offer two, the carriages will be going to Stone Haven located southeast of here. Stone Haven is nestled in the Macintosh Hills. Lastly, offer three is negotiable."

This pony really hates being in debt. Any of these options would be great for me. However, it seems that offer three is the best option for me.

"I think option three would be pretty good because...well...I have an odd traveling companion."

"Another seat on a carriage won't hurt my pockets."

"I...uh...my traveling companion is a giant alligator."

The stallion across from me took a sip from his glass with furrowed brows. The stallion closed his eyes and leaned back, he must be mulling over something.

"Hmmm...here is the deal, I can give you a pass that'll let the Stone family guard escort you to the estate. However, this means you will have to travel there by hoof or by...alligator."

This pony is seriously going out of his way to make sure that his debt is completely cleared. I didn't really do that much. If he's going to do this much, I might as well accept it.

"I like that idea, so how is this going to work out?"

With his magic doodad, a small popping sound and a small blank stone tablet appeared on the table. A quill infused with some magic started carving into the stone tablet. Once it finished carving it became inanimate.

"There, this pass should authorize you to enter the private portion of the estate. Maybe you'll find an opportunity once you get there."

He levitated the pass over to me. The language that was written on the tablet slowly untangled, the lines rearranging themselves into English. It's still freaky to see it, but it's nice that I don't have to know an entire written language. Now that the deal is settled, I should probably speak to the sheriff about the alligator.

"It's good we got this settled, so this means I probably won't be at Stone haven until a week or so from now."

He nodded his head and took a sip from his wine glass. While I left my poured wine untouched, I didn't have any intention to be rude.

"I have to go speak with the sheriff, so I must get going, It was good speaking to you."

"Of course."

The response pushed my buttons a bit. I turned towards the front room of the building and started making my way out. Once I left the building I headed over to the sheriff's office. Upon entering the office I noticed the sheriff speaking to his daughter.

"Hey sheriff, do you mind telling me where the alligator I was with when I came is again?"

"That alligator is in the field out there. Just speak ta the farmer, he'll show ya where ya lizards at." He pointed his hoof south of the office.

So with Stonehaven in mind, I wandered southward to a ran across a small homestead. There was an older stallion working in the field so I decided to greet him.

"Hello! I've come to get the alligator."

The stallions confused expression slowly morphed into one of unbridled rage.

"So you're that sumbitch that dumped that dagger toothed demon on us."

oh jeez.

Author's Note

The amount of times I forgot to save the chapter is immeasurable. I lost so many words.

Howdy doody, I hope you enjoyed it.

Tell me if you see any errors.

Rocs Really Rock

Rocs Really Rock

First Day

So many rocks.

So many many rocks.

Rocks and tumbleweeds.

Second Day

The environment as far as the eye could see was boulders, tumbleweeds, and even more boulders. There was even one tumbleweed shaped boulder!

I was simply laying on the alligator as my hand skimmed across the ground when several shadows flew overhead. I slowly turned my head to the sky to see many flying carriages that seemed to be pulled by pegesai. So they got wing ponies now?

Not the weirdest thing I've seen since I got here.

The carriages flew steadily to the looming hills in the faraway distance, while the lizard and I meandered lazily in their general direction. After a couple of hours and a few short rests, we settled down for the night having started the journey the night before we were more than exhausted. We settled next to a clumb of boulders.

Third Day

"Charles?"

The alligator shook its head.

"Spike?"

Another nope.

"Hmm...ah I got it, how about Liz? Genius, right?"

Another shake of its head.

"Okay, hmmm...how about Hugo?"

It just huffed in response.

"I'll take that as a yes, you are hereby known as Hugo fungus muncher."

Another nope.

"So, no on the last part?"

Fourth Day

After some more walking and a few more awkward sideways glances at the unaturally large shadows I noticed something odd. These vultures were huge, and they were slowly lowering their altitude as time went on.

I patted the newly named lizard on the neck.

"Hey bud, it seems we have bogeys inbound."

Hugo just tilted his head to the side before continuing at the same pace he did before.

"Seriously?"

It just grumbled in response to my question.

"Yeah, sure, I'm gonna act like I know what you said."

Once nighttime rolled around the kettle of abnormally large vultures flew away leaving me and my scaly companion to set up camp for the night.

Fifth Day

"Come at me, you flying chicken sandwich!"

A cacophony of angry vulture sound was the only response I got.

"I swear to all that is well seasoned if you don't stop trying to swoop down when I'm not looking I'll tell Gordon Ramsay."

One of the larger vulture creatures dropped from the sky behind me interrupting my amazing monologue. Though it was good I had my head on a swivel so it wasn't too difficult to move out of the way.

We'd only been walking for about four or five minutes before the vultures appeared. They've been pestering us since, which is odd considering vultures that I'm used to are scavengers. Luckily there are only about three it'd be bad if there were more.

Making sure to keep my eyes on the not so friendly birds I turned around to grab my trusty lantern. If I am going to die I might as well slam dunk a lantern on one's head, right? I turned around once I heard the beating of large wings.

Two of the large birds rocketed down at breakneck speeds, I didn't have much time to react and neither did Hugo. The bird on the left was closer than the one on the right. So with little time, I used the momentum of turning around to slam the iron frame of the lantern into the bird on the left.

The bird on the right, however, crashed into me full force causing me to be knocked of Hugo. The pain, I couldn't focus on it, too much adrenaline. My nose was bleeding and my right arm was covered in cuts. The vulture that I hit must have been killed, I couldn't see it anywhere.

Hugo was doing something, I couldn't pay attention to what he was doing at the moment. I saw the vulture that knocked me off, it was recovering from hitting me. It was trying to regain altitude. Using my left hand I grabbed a sizeable rock and threw it. I didn't aim because it was a last-ditch effort.

The rock hit the vultures left-wing causing it too lean too far to the left and crash. This small victory was short-lived when I heard a familiar sound. I switched my lantern to my other hand and turned around to see the third vulture dive-bombing towards me.

I couldn't see it, it was right in front of the sun. I closed my eyes and swung the lantern blindly in front of me.

No impact. Nothing. Then suddenly I hear a screech and the sound of stone cracking.

I peeked one of my eyes open to see the third vulture killed. It was killed by blunt force trauma from getting hit by the corpse of another bird. I looked over at Hugo.

He had bits of feathers hanging out of his mouth.

"Did you just...that was kinda badass."

I sat down right next to the dead monsters. Hugo waddled over and looked at the birds.

"You hungry?"

He just looked at me.

"Just chow down man, I'm just gonna rest here for a while."

Hugo went right to work on those birds. After a good bit of time I got up and looked for the hopefully dead bird. I peered over the boulder I was resting on and saw the little shit limping away. I left my lantern and grabbed a rock that required two hands to hold and slowly walked towards it.

To spare you the details I ended it's life quickly. I grabbed it remains and packed up everything I could.

Though the hardest and most dangerous thing I would have to deal with is my arm wounds. I had a few clean pieces of tattered cloth that I fixed onto my arm, but those would eventually need to be removed but it'd work for now. I started shaking my head to get rid of my stinkin' thinkin', I got a lot of cool looking feathers out of it, so that's a positive!

We continued traveling for a few hours. Mid-way through our travel we came across a sign. It showed a rough drawing of a bird.

Beware in the rocks in the Craigs they wait, beware the rocs, for they are like the plague.

I hate both rocks and rocs.

Author's Note

Sorry for the later then usual upload, I had to prepare for a performance I had coming up.

Thank you for reading!

If you see any errors throw them my way.

Also here is a Roc

Also, what is y'alls favorite mythological monster?

Freezing For Frostbite

Freezing For Frostbite

(A good idea of what the environment looks like.)

"Son of a biscuit eater, these cuts suck."

I decided it was time to clean the wounds and change the make-shift bandages out. I needed a distraction from the anxious feeling I was getting the closer we drew to 'Macintosh Hills'. Which I guess was the name of the place considering these were more mountains then they were hills.

I could barely see an outline of a structure hanging off one of the distant mountainsides. I'm assuming that's StoneHaven, as the location on the map is around there. Its hard paying attention to the structure when giant swirling gray clouds are barreling over the mountains like a breaking tidal wave and my anxious feeling is only getting worse.

As we neared closer the weather changed and the temperature dropped a noticeable amount making the traveling atmosphere rather gloomy. Instead of light rain, it changed to light snowfall which irked me a bit considering I'm riding a giant cold-blooded animal.

Hugo didn't seem to acknowledge the change in the environment or the weather, he just kept waddling forward with all the intimidation something that size can waddle with. I guess I can ignore it if he can as well.

A few more hours of traveling and we settled down for the night. The night time was significantly more cold than the day, I had trouble sleeping in the middle of the night so I grabbed my sleeping bag and slept next to a big scaly source of warmth.

"I hate mountains, I'm filled with rage, I'm hungry, and everything sucks."

My only response was an irritated snort.

"Okay then Mr. Notaffectedbyfrostbite, not everyone is as impervious to the elements as you are."

A few hours passed

The snowfall had gotten heavier which in turn made traveling a lot harder for both of us. If that wasn't enough my cuts weren't being treated properly anymore.

Through the snowfall we managed to make it to the base of the mountains, it took us a couple of hours but we made it in one piece. At the base of the mountain, we managed upon a wooden sign.

STONE HAVEN ON THE NORTHWEST RIDGE

"J-j-just gotta keep going bud."

My hand was numb in some places, and my toes were going numb as well. I was exhausted, but we just kept trecking through the westernmost path. Which was getting harder to see due to the snowfall, and through all this Hugo didn't shown any sign of being in pain.

It got to the point where we found a small area under the cliffside and I collapsed inside. I don't remember when I came to really but I remember how. I opened my eyes and saw something beautiful. A bright and warm fire, and next to that fire was an alligator.

Needless to say, I warmed myself up next to the fire why Hugo watched from the side.

Questions, so many questions! How did the fire get here? What is it burning? How long was I out? Are we going to die?

I slapped my hands against my face and noticed something bad. Maybe it was the numbness or maybe I didn't notice because it happened so fast but my index finger was pitch black and unmoving. My other fingers were a pale white or pink but it was still noticeable.

"Shit, just i-ignore it. hey, bud, how did the flame get here?"

Hugo just huffed and leaned on his right side. His underbelly had large cracks between the scales that bled orange light and heat. The cracks went from under his neck to his stomach. He opened his maw and a large murky brown bubble covered in a thin orange film came out his mouth It started floating away. Hugo flicked his tongue sending a small amount of fire towards the bubble, causing it to explode.

"...Huh..y-you...what?"

What? Alligators are crazy in this world. So you're telling me that he, at any time, could have exploded me, bloody hell! Guess they have to have defended themselves against hydras somehow.

The storm raged outside the hole we found ourselves in, and all we could do was burn the wooden platform off the saddle to stay warm.

After some time once I was exposed to warmth for a good bit, I wrapped my hand up in the dirty bandages used for my cuts and got ready to head back out once the weather calmed down. While waiting for the storm to pass I felt that pain in my hand increase tenfold, the few hours we waited seemed to feel like forever.

Eventually, the blizzard subsided which left the entrance to our, almost literal, hole in the wall snowed in. I grabbed one of the half-burnt planks and used it as a rudimentary shovel to dig the snow out. I kept digging for a few minutes expecting to see the light of day but was instead greeted by the dark of night and gusts of bitterly cold wind.

"Maybe we should just head out during the day when It's warmer."

We fell asleep sometime later laying around the fire, though it should be mentioned that my bedroll was covered in ice.

"S-shit, ow."

Waking up was difficult, to say the least. My index finger was in extream pain and so was the rest of my right hand, my left hand was as well but not as much.

"Alright bud, we gotta keep going. We gotta get to Stone Haven."

We broke through the snow placed in front of the entrance once again and began on our way to Stone Haven.

The piercing winds felt like they went straight through me. Like every new gust of wind was physically biting me. It was like this for some time before we reached a clearing. There was no wind or any sound, it was silent.

In the middle of the clearing nearly buried half by snow was a carriage, one of the carriages I had seen day prior.

Stone family carriages.

Seems I'm not the only one who has had a bad day.

Author's Note

The gore tag has been added. 😱

Thanks fer readin'.

If ya see any errors tell me, I appreciate it.

I hope ya have a fantastic day! 👌

Crazy Carriage Crash

Crazy Carriage Crash

"Y'know, I'm kinda glad we walked now."

Once we got close to the carriage I hopped off Hugo and looked around the crashed carriage.

The pegasi that were pulling the carriage were unfortunately killed in the crash, and one of the ponies inside the carriage managed to make it outside before passing away. I must have some seriously good detective skills or something.

The carriage was the type of carriage with a closed top and two side doors. Speaking of the carriage it had crashed on its side so I had to climb on top of it to enter. It was easier to enter due to the door being broken at the hinges.

I dropped into the carriage and was forced to crouch so I didn't donk my noggin. As soon as I looked up from the snow deposited in the carriage I came face to face with a pony. However, this was a pony I had seen before.

This was Brim Stone's daughter.

Hot damn! How much trouble does this mare get into, first bandits than a few days later a crash. Maybe it's just bad luck or a bounty hunter o-

My thinking was interrupted by a startling revelation. She was breathing! I floundered my way over to her side and looked her over. She had several cuts and splinters in her side but other than that she was as healthy as a hors- pony?

With her now in a semi-stable condition, I looked around the carriage.

The other pony in the carriage was a younger stallion by the looks of it. He wasn't breathing he must have hit his head or something since he had no obvious external injuries. There was a small black box in his hooves, letting my curiosity get the better of me I reached over and opened the box.

Inside the box was a lustrous silver ring with a peculiar gem. The gem was red and pulsing, it was similar to the engravings in the silver. It depicted a pony with both wings and a horn. Whatever this thing was it was bad news bears, for some odd reason I still felt the urge to pocket the item.

"Maybe I'm just greedy, but I'll say it's for the greater good that I keep it."

And pocket that ring I did.

With nothing more of noticeable importance in the carriage, I climbed up and hoisted Brim Stone's daughter out with me. Just as I lifted her out of the carriage it collapsed in on itself. As I hopped down, I awkwardly grabbed whatever her name is and hauled her onto my shoulder.

With a ton of effort, I barreled through the snow and put her on Hugo's back. I put my hands on Hugo's back and pulled myself up. As we left the clearing I glanced back and swore I saw something ominous and shadowy standing next to the carriage.

I blinked and there was nothing, it must have been my imagination. We continued up the northeastern ridge in hopes that we'd reach Stone Haven before nightfall.

As we went up the path I noticed pieces of wood scattered in trees and planted in the snow, maybe more than one carriage had crashed.

My condition was also something that caught my eye, it was weird. The pain in my right hand also felt significantly less and the cuts on my arm and back felt a lot less painful as well. Ever since I picked up the ring I kept feeling waves of warmth coming from it. Whatever the ring is, it just doesn't feel right to have on my person. It made traveling easier though, what a dilemma.

After an hour or so of travel, we arrived at a series of wooden towers. As we walked past I heard something.

"S-Stop! Halt! "

I turned around towards the tower but didn't see anything or anyone. The door at the bottom of the tower burst open revealing a blue pegasus equipped with a mix of cloth and metal armor.

"S-sorry one second."

The stallion was clearly out of breath. He has wings, why didn't he just fly down instead of running down all the stairs, I'm confused.

"Hello, welcome to Stone Haven. We're under lockdown at the momen-"

"Buddy, my fucking fingers are freezing off, I'm wearing a blood-stained shirt, I'm like ninety percent sure I'm a dead man walking. Let me in."

"W-well I can't jus-"

I pulled out that traveling pass that Brim Stone gave me and politly presented it to the guard.

"O-oh, sorry sir. I can't leave my post to show you the way but it's pretty easy to get to Stone Haven from here. Just continue up the path, or just follow the towers either way works."

"Yeah, man, I don't feel good."

The stallion said nothing and went back to his post. We continued following the path via the guard posts and eventually arrived at gargantuan stone doors. I saw a guard at the top of the gate with the 'I don't care, I don't want to be here look.

"Hey! You up there!"

He continued to ignore me.

"Hey, you donkus I'm trying to get in!"

He was still ignoring me.

"I have that pass thingy, now let me in you single-celled organism!"

He just sighed and turned away.

"Don't turn away from me you son of blee blop! I'll hug your mother, I'll do it I'm a mad man!"

I've reached the point of anger where cusswords are meaningless. Over the wind, I heard another sigh and with that sigh the sounds of large cogs and pieces of metal moving and rearranging.

The large stone doors slowly opened outwards revealing a large city. However, my attention was on the four or so guard standing in the way.

"Halt, I'm going to need to see the pass."

"Yeah, sure."

I handed him the pass from my back pocket.

"This isn't fake, you're good."

"Alright so you guys got it from here, right?"

"Yes, is something wrong?"

"Yep."

I faceplanted hard.

Author's Note

Okay, okay. This is a weird question.

Did you guys know that horse meat is stupid healthy for you? Cause I didn't.

Thanks for reading peeps.

Tell me about any errors you see.

Have a radical day my dudes.

Nauseous Nightmare

Nauseous Nightmare

A dream.

I hadn't had one in quite a long time.

I'd like it If it stayed that way.

I was laying on a stone floor, it wasn't that difficult to tell. I leaned up and rubbed my eyes.

"What happened?"

I opened my eyes to find myself in a small stone room with no entrance or exit.

"Aw shit, am I in magic prison? Is this a magic prison?!"

I looked around the room for a bit hoping for some hidden lever or a magic shank. I didn't find anything that would help me get an idea of where I was.

I sat down in defeat and put my back against the wall.

Then I heard something.

Like a quite thumping, almost not noticeable.

Once I heard the mysterious sound, the wall I had my back on opened or disappeared. This caused me to donk the back of my head. I got up and rubbed my head while looked around.

The small room was now connected to a very narrow hallway.

"Well, it's Nerf or nothing."

With that said, I started walking down the shadowy hallway only lit by a red pulsing light. I felt like I was walking forever there was no door or anything it just seemingly went on forever.

I looked behind me, more hallway.

I looked in front of me, even more hallway.

"Oh, this is some magic BS isn't it?"

I let out a sigh.

I stopped walking and listened for the sound I heard previously.

It was behind me.

I heard it.

No, it's in front of me.

I heard it again.

No, wait, it's above me.

I looked up to see a hallway going into the ceiling.

I put my right foot on the wall and then my left foot. I was walking vertically, It felt like I was walking normal though. Before I started walking into the new hallway I hear something.

"D-...Conti..uo...ill..die."

A silhouette stood from the hallway I came from. It's shadowy and distorted voice made me run away. I'll admit it, I'm a coward.

The walls of the stone hallways were beginning to change as I continued farther in. There were these glowing red tendrils that slithered in between the cracks in the stone, connecting to something, something ominous. This hallway was endless as well, there wasn't any sound this time though. The sound may not have been present, but I could feel the ground subtly pulse with the same rhythm.

"Hey Peter, long time no see huh?"

I knew something was wrong. I knew that voice too, I hadn't heard it in a long time.

I looked to the wall to my left, and on the wall was a picture frame. One that showed a man and a boy hugging. The man's simple features became sharp and alive.

"What? Don't remember your pops? Of course you wouldn't."

"W-what is this? No, this isn't right."

It's better if I just ignore it.

I clapped my hands against my face and continued walking down the hallway. The red light that had followed me through the hallways stayed with the picture frame. Which meant for me that I would be walking in pitch-black darkness.

After I walked for some time I stopped and looked around, it was just darkness.

"What am I doing here?"

I heard some flickering and the red light returned. It swung slightly from right to left over another picture frame. This picture was of a girl and a boy. The girl's face morphed and changed, her features becoming sharp and realistic.

"That's a good question, Pete."

"W-what is going on?"

"What are you doing there? You should be here."

I tried to turn away but came face to face with another picture frame. This picture was that of a man, a woman with her face scribbled out and two children. The border of the frame pulsing red.

I turned away preemptively to avoid the words and when I did it went completely silent. The light dissipated and everything was still.

Then I heard it.

It started off quietly, like a small thump in the night. Then it grew steadily louder to that of raging drums in ears. I looked around while covering my ears.

Then once again everything changed.

I was falling. I fell for a long time. It gave me time to think. I noticed it was hard to think if that makes sense. As I fell the thumping only grew louder and more intimidating.

I hit something eventually and blacked out. I woke up to something...terrifying.

A room made of...flesh? It was odd definitely, but that wasn't that terrifying thing.

In the middle of the room was a giant beating heart, and every time it moved the room vibrated. I got up off the ground, something was pulling me towards it. The red pulsing light of the heart felt welcoming but looked nothing of the sort.

In the middle of the gigantic heart was the glowing red light and as I neared closer I discovered something else. That red light was that ring. I reached out to grasp it, I felt like it would help me solve everything. As my hand was mere inches away from it something happened.

A shadowy figure with not exactly a comprehendible shape ripped open the flesh of the wall, which then turned back to stone.

"Sto-...reak...ou...ake up!"

The figure brought out a beautiful silver sword and with one fell cleave split the heart in twain. Like the moon breaking through the sky on a cloudy night a silver light pierced every aspect of my being.

Now I lay on a giant white ocean continuing forever into the horizon. I laid on the ocean and stared at the stars, which were those of my home. I felt something. I don't know how to describe it really, maybe longing?

"I guess Ignoring those feelings aren't going to do me any good."

I heard something walking up to me.

"Thou art saved subject, you hath happened upon a heinous object haven't thou?"

I turned my head slightly to the left to see a large blue mare. With a horn and a pair of wings, just like the ring design.

"You remind me of my sister. She always was into the 'thees and thous' of life."

"Answer mine question subject. Did yo-"

I started slowly sinking into the ocean. It felt pretty good.

I bolted up, sweat covering my brow. I let out several quick breaths and looked around.

I was in a hospital room, with my arms bandaged and my hands semi-restrained.

Ah, can't a guy catch a break.

Author's Note

Dream interlude time

Nightmares are weird.

Thanks for reading!

Tell me about any errors you see, please.

I hope you have a fantastic day.

Icy Injuries

Icy Injuries

Staring at the ceiling, definitely one of my favorite past time. Accompanied by the steady dripping of the IV bag made up most of the early morning.

I was up so early because I couldn't fall back to sleep, I don't know why I couldn't sleep. I was absolutely exhausted but I couldn't help but feel restless. I think I had some sort of nightmare, I couldn't remember much of it though just flashes and feelings.

Ignoring the thought of nightmares I focused on the room around me and from the observations I made, I was in a hospital. I could only guess from the obvious medical equipment and the accursed casts on my body.

With nothing better to do, I stared at the ceiling for a long time, just counting the seconds, hoping for something to happen. I got to ten thousand eight hundred seconds before something actually happened.

Someone was rustling the thick curtains to the left of me.

"Hello?"

"AHHH!"

"Oops, sorry."

"Celestia damn it, you almost gave me have a myocardial infarction!"

"Er...ok."

The pony that was rustling around the curtains was a mare, a nurse as well.

"Can you tell me what happened Miss...uh...?"

"Pardon? Oh! This is your first time waking up, one second!"

She briskly trotted away from the conversation. Who leaves a guy hangin' like that? She didn't even give me her name so I could go full 'Karen mode' on her manager.

After some time, she returned with a dark blue stallion who was wearing a doctor's coat.

"Sorry for the wait, since it's so early I convinced the doctor on-call to check on you."

"Hello Mr. Anonymous, I'm Mr. Crecent, I'm going to do a small physical and explain a few things. And while I'm doing the physical I'm going to need you to look over some paperwork as well."

Oh wait. I'm in a hospital.

Most of the paperwork was something along the lines of consent, responsibility-taking, and soul-stealing signature lines but that's to be expected. While signing my soul away I noticed that Mr. Crecent worked efficiently and quietly going through an array of tests with practiced motions.

"Alright, that should be about it. Well, Mr. Anonymou-"

"Its actually Peter, but sure go ahead."

"Peter, Your condition when you arrived was if I'm being frank, nightmarish. Never in the thirty-four years of being a doctor have I seen frostbite and infections that bad. Luckily your condition wasn't exactly irreparable, however, it's my job to inform you that we were required to amputate your index finger."

Oh.

"I should also mention that you had four fractured ribs, and several untreated gnashes on your shoulders which have now been treated."

Oh my.

"During the evaluation and the following surgery, we also observed that you had and still do have acute magic sickness which is in the process of being treated."

Oh my God. At least I don't have the flu.

"Okay. So how long will I be here."

"Two weeks. With the maximum of a month if your magic sickness medication affects the healing magic the unicorns will provide a week from now."

"Well shit. What's magic sickness anyways?"

"You see when something that has been drained of mana completely is filled with mana again it has trouble properly processing said mana. This causes the 'something', in this case you, to go into shock. This is, of course, putting it dumbly."

"I don't know if I was experiencing shock but-"

"Magic sickness can express itself in many, many ways. I'm going to let Nurse Cady take care of you from here on out."

The doctor turned away presumably to head back out of the room.

"Hey wait! I have one more question."

"Hmmm?"

"What happened to the people with me. And what happened to my stuff?"

"Oh, I have no idea what happened to your friends, but your stuff is the bedside table."

Then he just waddled away.

Dick.

"So Ms. Candy what am I supposed to do for two weeks?"

"It's Cady, most patients visit the library downstairs. Since most of the patients we have are unicorn foals experiencing powerful magic surges. The parents need a quiet place you know?"

I just nodded my head. It's better not to ask about magic things from what I've learned so far.

"So, when can I get out of bed?"

"Doctor Crescent gave you a health check, but you still need a physical so It's best to stay in bed."

"Oh. Can you grab me a book from the library then? Just any old book will do."

"Sure, next time I'm in the library I'll grab you one from the old pages."

"No wait, not literall-"

"Nurse, nurse! Can I speak with you for a second."

Damn.

Maybe an hour or so passed. I don't know It's kind of hard to tell time.

"Pssst hey you."

Is that a bug? I swear this is like the fifth bug I've slaughtered, they don't learn though, they just keep coming. I must be losing my mind.

"Pssssssssst monkey face!"

Oh, that's just blatantly racist. I turned to my left were the sounds of the soon-to-be-dead fly were coming from.

"Hehe, you really do look like a monkey."

Oh, it's just a kid. That can work too I guess.

"Yeah, well, you look like a small hairy animal."

"Like a bear? I like bears, I know a bear! He's named Harry, Did you know bears ar-"

"No, I was thinking something along the lines of a badger."

"Oh."

I looked back up at the ceiling to enjoy my not so peaceful quiet.

"Badgers are cool too."

"Mhmm."

"Do you like badgers mister?"

Ugh.

"Yeah kid, love 'em all to death. All the pointy-toothed and red-eyed basta...friends."

"You don't sound like you do."

"Look here kiddo-"

I turned over to look at the curtain next to me to get a real good look at the kid. It was a colt, really young by the looks of it. He was looking over at me, his large eyes portraying excitement and innocence.

I huffed and looked back at the ceiling. I started speaking again.

"What're you doing here?"

"I got in an accident."

"What kind of accident?"

"The magic kind."

"Ah, really? Same here."

"Really!?"

"Yep."

"Your accident was probably cool like some super awesome magicsplosion. Mine was super lame."

"Not really a magicsplosion so to say, what happened to you again?"

"It's not really an accident if I think about it. I have more of a condition that acts up."

"Oh really?"

"I have a condition where I have magic surges."

"Oh, but that nurse earlier but it sounds like that was normal."

"I used to have them when I was younger but now they're stronger and happen more."

"....Hey kid."

"Yeah?"

"I like bears too, their one of my favorite animals."

Author's Note

Bruv

Thanks for reading!

Tell me about any errors!

Have a great day!😤

Big Bold Beut of a Book

Author's Note

This Chapter is mainly world-building.

If you read, I always appreciate it.

If you see any errors tell me!

Big Bold Beut of a Book

Big Bold Beut Book

Finally, I have something to pass the time with now.

A big 'ol stupid book. With a bold and underlined title.

Molly Macabre's Guide
to Magic 'n Mushrooms.

The title's golden letters caught my attention. I flipped open to the first chapter.

Chapter 1: Thought Through Equestian Magic Theory

First off I would like to say that I Molly Macabre am a unicorn. This means that I bring with me a more equestrian perspective on magic theory. Now that that is out of the way I may begin explaining the basics of equestrian magic theory and then eventually delve into other magic theories in comparison.

Now let us say you are but a newborn babe fresh from your mother's womb, ignorant of all that is magic.

What is magic exactly?

To put it simply, magic is the lifeblood of all Equus, It flows through everything whether animate or inanimate. Magic is what gives power to the elementals and it's actively shaping the world around us. For example, every wonder why a pegasus can manipulate the weather? Or an earth pony can be strong enough to lift a boulder?

It's magic! Magic isn't just all fireballs you know. It's very subtle, It seeps into everything and displays itself in a plethora of ways. Like physical magic enhancment or it can take a more active role like chlorokinesis (which means to control plants).

Since we've discussed the concept of magic lets move onto how it affects us specifically.

Magic is a part of nature. This means, generally speaking, that it can never truly be good nor bad. This is, of course, a publically shunned opinion in Canterlot but it's important to note for future discussions on non-equestrian magic theory.

Thus, as part of nature, it goes to show that it affects species differently which have evolved to use to efficiently in different ways.

Some species like the minotaurs of Tauros use magic in a much different way than ponies do both passively and actively. They make items infused with magic, to complete such magic items one must complete a ritual usually with a certain concentration period.

The point is magic affects different races in different ways.

On a different but similar note, how does magic affect the natural world?

That's a very loaded question. It can affect every aspect in one way or another, for example in an area where magic is strong, one might find something like the floating islands of the Mysterious South. Or an area where there is no magic one might expect an arid environment and a radically different ecosystem.

Point being that magic is amazing and dangerous but that's for the next chapter.

"Peter, Peter!"

"Gah! Sorry I was a bit distracted kid."

"My name is Rocky."

Oh like rocky from the movies.

"Oh, alright kid."

"Ok Anonymous, what are you readin'?"

When did this kid become such a smart ass?

"Honestly, If I knew I'd tell you, Rocky."

I turned over to see Rocky floating around above his bed. That's a bit odd, right?

"So is floating around something you regularly?"

"Huh? Oh! One second."

Rocky started doing something with his magic, he was concentrating awfully hard too if the magic sparks coming from his horn were anything to go by. After concentrating for a little while he stopped floating and landed on the pillow of his bed. He reached over to the bedside table and wrote something down.

"So...was that a magic surge?"

"Yeppers."

He must have been told to write down when the surges happen.

I turned away from Rocky to continue reading through the book 'o magic, honestly, I was excited to move onto chapter two. Before I was able to start reading I heard the bed next to me start squeaking a lot, I turned to see Rocky hopping up and down excitedly.

"So what are you reading Peter?"

"Some book about Magic theory."

"Magic?! Lemme see!"

The little bugger leaped across to my bed from his without any concern for his health. Where's this kid's parent when you need 'em? That's a good question now that I think about it.

"Okay, okay! I'm going to keep reading though, so make sure to be a bit quiet."

"Can you read it out loud?"

"Uh...sure, but If I mispronounce a word and you laugh I'll throw you like a football."

That little shit snickered.

Chapter 2: Magic, Merriment, and Misplaced Magic Missiles.

Magic, it's one ~~hell~~ heck of a drug, and like all drugs, it should be used cautiously.

Why?

Don't be stupid, stupid. A practiced pyromancer can burn the countryside in a matter of minutes, and an advanced cryomancer can freeze a lake and bring a blizzard.

Magic, like all that is a part of nature, is dangerous.

However, don't get the wrong idea. Magic can be used as a weapon, but it can also be used to create amazing displays of art or cause burnt fields to come back in a brilliant display of life.

It's just important to remember that magic is dangerous and if you embrace the depths that magic has to offer you should expect to lose something. Trust me, I know that best.

Though don't be dissuaded from experimentation just don't ignore the rules that magic has. Ignoring these rules usually results in dark magic, which is just a kind of magic, but it has an unusually steep price.

Don't bring somepony back from the dead.

Don't try mental manipulation magic or mind control, It just leads to darker things.

Don't trust a demon, all contracts may be neutral but that doesn't mean they won't try and get one over on you.

Don't venture beyond the borders of the badlands, for their lays something truly terrible in wait.

Never go near the corpses of the (The rest of the page has been ripped out.)

Oh, someone must have gotten angry at the book for some odd reason. Like seriously, who would get angry at a book?

I looked down at my bed to find Rocky asleep. Huh, well, would you look at that?

I slowly picked up Rocky and slipped him into his bed. I tiptoed to the end of his bed and looked at his patient information they had on a clipboard in a small pouch.

I skimmed over most of the paper until I reached a few words of interest.

Rocky Hope.

Incurable.

The magic surges were happening more frequently too.

I have a very stupid idea.

But hey, stupid is what I do best.

Magic Moves Me

Magic Moves Me

"Peter, you can walk around now but don't overdo it. Those ribs are still fractured so no heavy lifting or spo-"

"C'mon Candy do I look like the kind of person to do something stupid like that?"

"Again it's Cady, I remember just yesterday you were using your IV bag stand as a sword in a playfight with Rocky. So, yes I do think you are capable of being stupid."

"Pfffft...I won that fight though."

"Just don't do anything stupid ok?"

"Ok, I promise."

A week in a half has passed, meaning those healing mages would be here Friday. I was anxious, what if the magic had a negative reaction to my medication?

I climbed out of my bed and cracked my back, which of course put me in a whole new world of pain. I needed to clear my head, I needed a distraction. So I took Macabre's book and headed to the library which was supposed to be downstairs from this room.

I walked to the stairs located on the far side of the hallway outside my room. I cautiously walked down the stairs till I reached a small wooden door and prepared to enter.

I opened the door expecting to see a small selection but was instead graced by shelves upon shelves of books.

Ah, I missed this.

The quiet that libraries offer, It hasn't been that long since I came to this new world yet my old job as a librarian caused such nostalgia. I looked at the shelves and realized something stupid. These ponies don't have the Dewy Decimal System.

"Ugh, this is gonna be a fucking nightmare."

"Excuse me can I help you?"

I screamed, in a manly way though. I'm assuming this absolutely terrifying mare is the librarian.

"You almost gave me a heart attack! I-ignoring that, you could help me find something."

"Okay, what are you looking for?"

"Do you guys have a non-medical magic section?"

"Yes, follow me."

The nice mare led me to a corner of the library that seemed particularly busy. Seemed like a lot of medical students were practicing magic theory or something.

I scanned the books for two words that interested me the most. I found a book that interested me soon enough, though its appearance in comparison to the other books was offputting. It was just a had a plain brown color palette with no personal flair like Macabre's grimoire.

The Not So Simple Simplicities
of
Magic Items.

I opened to the table of contents I was looking for something very specific after all. After searching through the various chapters I found it.

Cursed Items..............................................................................................................................................Page 457.

I turned over to page 457 and prepared to read.

Chapter 32: Cursed Items

A curse is a type of ritual magic, which in a way is very similar to magic item creation. The only difference between the two rituals is the catalyst and the material required, the outcome, of course, is also a noticeable difference.

A curse is an offensive ritual meant to cause negative effects to a specific target but when mixed with the item creation ritual it causes some odd things to happen.

Before we continue It should be mentioned that during the first baby steps of magic creation many a minotaur cursed themselves on accident. Through their sacrifices, we, The bureau of Magic Item Research and Recovery, have come to understand curse magic much better.

Curses can imbue either the caster, another being, or item with great magic power or a particular ability. However, the thing imbued will have a negative effect to match the positive effect. The negative effect will always match the positive in terms of severity.

A good example of this would be the Ancient Alicorn Crown of King Paleblood , an item of incredible power that has been locked away by the Bureau for some time. The item offers the wearer incredible magic power but if worn will wear down the wearer's sanity.

Another good example would be the Skirmish of Heimdall Bridge in which the minotaurs sent a single able-bodied minotaur onto the battlefield with a cursed weapon. To spare you the details, it was a bloody affair, the item itself gave the minotaur using it incredible strength, and the negative effect of the weapon was never documented. It's said however that the tragedy of the strike the Bifrost had something to do with it.

Most cursed items work similarly.

Now onto the cultural aspects of cursed weapons.

Most nations use cursed items in times of war especially the Minatuar who have perfected the creation of cursed and non-cursed magic items. Now It should be mentioned that using cursed items is still to this day, considered completely unethical.

Most cursed items make their rounds in illegal underground black markets which they then get into the hooves or hands of the unknowing citizen.

I must have been reading for a long time, the light that once streamed through the windows of the library has stopped. I closed the book and put it back on the shelf and headed back up to my room. Once I arrived I found three ponies standing by Rocky's bed.

The three of them were speaking, one was obviously the doctor that was making rounds, considering he was wearing a doctor's coat. The other two ponies were unknown to me.

I quietly walked up behind them, to do my eavesdropping business.

"Look Mister and Miss Hope your son is in a fragile position, where anything we do could speed up the already quicking pace of the magic surges. I insist that he take the surgery option, this medicine will only be a temporary fix, and that only if it works."

I wasn't close enough to hear Rocky's parent's response but I could hear the doctor's.

"Medication it is then. I understand your decision but please consider the other option."

The doctor was about to turn away from the conversation so I started making my way to my bed. Once I got to my bed I waited for the three of them to leave.

Once they left I turned over to the bedside table and opened the drawer. Inside sat a small black box, I opened the box to see a ring neatly placed inside. The brilliant yet ominous red gem catching my eye.

I did say my plan was stupid.

Author's Note

You've been cursed like to undo.

Thanks for reading!

If you see any errors notify me! There might be a few more cause I wrote this chapter pretty late at night.

Have a wonderful day!

Magic Mayhem

Magic Mayhem

Ponies look weird in robes, like seriously odd-looking.

The healing mages or the mages that have practiced healing magic have finally arrived in Stone Haven, all of them donned hooded white robes.

I only comment on their clothing because they've been busy rushing back and forth their hooves clamoring against the stone floor. After a while, that sound can become quite annoying especially if you're trying to read about avoiding magic explosions.

I've read a lot in the week and a half I've got to get ready for my stupid plan, but there was one question I couldn't find an answer for in all the books I had searched through.

Could I use magic?

I have magic sickness, albeit I don't really feel the effects of it. Which should mean I am affected by magic in some way, right? I don't know, but I'm possibly about to do one of the stupidest things I've done in my life all based on one hell of a hunch. Though, it's only a stupid back up plan in actuality.

The time was almost upon me now, the healing mages would reach my bed soon. A stallion and mare rounded the curtains to the left of me and greeted me with surprised expressions.

Oh yeah, sometimes I forget I'm an alien.

"Hello there Mister, we were told by Nurse Caduceus that you were in need of medical attention. Before that, I'm Gold Grade and this is my assistant Miss-"

"Wait, a nurse who now?"

"Miss Cady?"

"Oh."

"Hi! I'm Sparkling Light, I'm also-"

"Very excitable"

These two are made for each other, just fucking adorable but y' know it would be great to know If I have magic aids or something.

Gold Grade reached down and picked up the clipboard, he clicked his tongue. He gestured to Sparkling light and then the paper while whispering a few subtle words. He turned to me with a blank expression, I started preparing myself for the it's positve line.

"We gotta toughy here If I'm being straight with you mister. We can probe you a bit with our healing magic to see if it messes with your medication. If all goes well your major injuries should be healed, but smaller things will have to wait till we've treated the majority's major wounds."

What if it goes bad? It's only a probe so hopefully it won't make me explode or something right?

"Yepper roony, we'll get you all patched up!"

"Oh, ok. I thought it was going to be worse."

"We might as well start, I'm going to lean your bed back, okay?"

"Yeah sure go ahead."

I leaned back and closed my eyes and just decided to focus on my breathing. It was subtle at first, the feeling of probing against my ribs. Like someone was poking my side, it continued though. Then a small amount of pain with four small cracks following soon after, my fuckin' ribs!

"Sorry."

The rest of the treatment was a blur, the gnashes on my right shoulder and the nerves in my hand were treated as well. I just stared at the ceiling the whole time, once they were done treating me they continued over to Rocky's bed.

I sat up in the bed and realized my condition was significantly better, but it felt like I was fragile. Must just be a confidence thing. I turned over to the bedside table and looked at the ring box. I chuckled, feeling relieved made me a bit giddy.

"Guess I didn't need to use you after all."

A sudden gasp followed by the sounds of screaming grabbed my attention.

I turned over to see something I wish I hadn't. The stallion and mare from earlier were panicking, I turned to see what was happening.

It was Rocky.

He was having an episode, one that was beyond anything that has happened before. Shots of lighting and fire came from the colt as I rolled off my bed onto the floor to avoid debris. The stallion, Golden Grade, was incapacitated and the mare he was with was losing her composure. I can't blame her, I don't know why I'm not losing mine.

"Hey FUCKNUTS get the patients outta here!"

Okay, maybe I lost my composure.

She kept staring and whimpering at Golden Grade, I crawled over to her making sure to avoid the storm of magic that was developing in the room.

"HEY!"

She wouldn't look at me. I tapped her side to get her attention.

"Hey! Look here, ponies are gonna die if you don't help them get out of here. Your partner is fine, he's still breathing, look."

She managed to get herself together once she made Golden Grade was fine, I told her to carry golden to the exit and to get as many patients out of the room as possible.

"I'll deal with Rocky."

I looked down at the ring box and took out the ring.

I'm going to regret this so much tomorrow.

I slipped the ring on to my middle finger. Nothing happened.

"Well, honestly I thought something crazy was going to happe-"

I felt the blood in my veins freeze, then I blinked. I looked down to see my body made of shadows, I felt like I could be blown away by a slight wind. I blinked again and the environment around me had changed to that of the inside of a cathedral by an alter. Around the altar of the cathedral were ponies, many of them wounded or sick.

In the aisles of the cathedral were ponies, most of them were earth ponies. Their robes were significantly worn many of them being torn in some places. While I was observing the cathedral I felt odd, like I wasn't thinking straight. Wasn't I doing something before? It was important I'm sur-

My thinking was interrupted by a loud bang. The large iron-studded doors at the end of the aisle had been thrown open to reveal a large shadow with heavy rain pouring down behind it. The shadow removed its hood to reveal a dark black unicorn.

A stallion from the looks of it, a tall one too.

His characteristics were definitely one of kind, the kind of figure you wouldn't lose in-crowd. He possessed a tall stature, and his dark black mane and beard were reminiscent of a lion. His regal figure was adorned with a long gold-embroidered robe but the most distinguishable feature of the stallion was his piercing red eyes and commanding presence.

As he walked through the church silence swept through the aisles, the only thing to be heard was the sounds of breathing or the occasional rustling of robes. The wounded ponies gathered at the front of the church were silent but if their shaking frames were anything to go by they were terrified.

Once he was close he cast something, and I felt it. I felt the movement he did, his thought process, what he knew about what he was casting. It was something unexplainable, I was him but for only a moment. He was healing the wounded ponies, I don't know why.

Things became weird from there, my vision started waning and the environment around me fell apart. What happened? Where am I? Oh, shit, Rocky's going batshit crazy, that's right!

I blinked and I was back in the hospital room with green wisps of magic flowing from hands. During what had happened I had closed in on Rocky. The poor kid was laying on his back, arcs of electricity jolting from his horn on occasion.

"Rocky?"

There was no response.

"Hey Rocky, buddy."

Still no response. D-did I kill him?

My hand was covered in what looked like a green layer of light with wisps of green energy that looked like embers from a fire. I put my hand on his back, I knew this, I've had this feeling before. That vision, I knew what to do.

I put both my hands on his back and I cast magic, just like that figure did in the vision. Pale green light flooded from my hands onto Rocky's back. It felt weird, like having a second pair of lungs that constantly breathed in and out magic. I sat like that for what felt like an eternity.

Whatever happened to Rocky was hopefully fixed.

"Hey bud, Rocky?"

I shook him a bit.

"Hmmm."

Oh, thank god.

If it wasn't for that vision Rocky would probably be dead. That figure, I was only him for a second but I got his name.

Lord Paleblood. Where have I heard that name before?

Author's Note

I did the proofreading at 11 pm so if you see a lot of errors that's why.

Thanks for reading!

If you see any error please tell me.

I hope you have a fantastic day!

Literally Left

Literally Left

"Ugh, look I'm fine. I think I healed myself as well."

"B-but you could be hurt, Let me help!"

"I'm fine Sparkling, why don't you go help one of the patients that actually need it."

"Bu-"

"Skidaddle outta here, don't make me get the broom!"

Sparkling Light was such a persistent mare even when being pushed away with a broom, after the incident she was dead set on making sure most of the ponies that were injured were well taken care of. I found that inspiring in a sense, considering her partner was still unconscious.

The incident was well controlled, all things considered, the hospital staff had handled all things professionally. They took me aside and I answered a few questions. I made sure to avoid the ring and told them I cast healing magic for the first time then and there.

They just accepted it and went on their way, well almost went on their way. They told me that I was in good enough shape to leave. Or that's what I heard at least, I was getting tired of being in the hospital.

I hope Rocky's situation gets under control too, I'd stay to figure out if it will but I've never been one to stay in one place long. With that mindset, I gathered all my possessions from the bedside table. I had a pack of clean bandages, a crudely drawn map, the Stone Haven merchant pass, a bag of bits and an unread note.

I floundered through my pocket till I got the note. I had found the note while getting ready to go. I also found my pants 'n suspenders but It's weird to think I'm going to use a tucked in hospital gown as my shirt. I cracked open the folded note.

Dear Peter

Once you recover from your harrowing journey I'd like it if you met with me to discuss a few matters. Do please speak with my secretary first thing after entering the estate.

May your health return quickly

In regards,

Brim Stone

Oh shit, here we go again. I stuffed everything in my pockets and pulled my suspenders up over my shoulders. I walked out into the outside hallway and continued down the stairs that led to the library. Instead of going to the library, I continued down the hallway to the central lobby.

I walked out and not a single pony really cared, that's pretty cool. Once I looked up to the see what Stone Haven was like I was stunned.

A brilliant picture-esque environment. The sun shined down upon rows upon rows of stone buildings with stalls lining the streets. In front of the sun casting a huge shadow was a castle, it's gothic architecture made it an imposing structure on first sight. I could only describe it as one hell of a good view.

I walked out of the hospital to find myself in a central park area where some younger ponies were making snow forts from the residual snow from the blizzard. I need to get directions to the Stone family estate, I should probably ask a passing pon-

"Ow."

One of those little shits threw a snowball interrupting my previous train of thought. I rolled the snowball into a giant one and lobbed it at the colt who threw it.

Bullseye.

Now with that done and the back of my head sufficiently covered in snow, I walked down the street. I could explore around a bit and explore before I ask a pony for directions. I walked towards the center of Stone Haven and as I walked I found that there are all manner of a creature's within Stone Haven.

I saw a bat pony, pony bat? Whatever it's called it was interesting nonetheless, I also saw a few minotaurs. Man, it's like their whole race is jacked, it's like their abs have abs. I think I also saw some weird pony lizard hybrid thing for a second too.

Several of these races were either walking the streets or tending to their respective stalls. Said stalls were definitely eye-catchers each filled with curiosities of foreign lands. I walked past of few stalls pushing my way through the crowded streets while trying to take in every sight I could.

Mages released powerful displays of magic in hopes that as passersby might be interested in their stall, weapon makers yelled out into crowd creating a cacophony of booming voices.

I'm lovin' it.

The pull of the crowd eventually spit me out into a large public area, I walked over to a bench and stared at the large stone fountain in front of it. All the sights, sounds and smells had almost literally knocked me off my feet so I decided to take a breather and relax.

As I was sitting, I thought overall about everything that's happened since I've got here, it's been one crazy rollercoaster ride. I looked down at my hand. The ring was still on my hand and no matter how hard I tried to take it off it wouldn't budge, and I'm missing my index finger. I sighed and looked up at the sky to clear my mind.

It felt good just letting the sunlight and cold breeze hit me. I heard the creaking of wood beside me so I cracked open my right eye to see one of the bat ponies I had seen previously.

A purple mare with a mane swept haphazardly to the side, she was staring at me enough to make me uncomfortable.

"Um...hello?"

"Hello."

She just kept staring. It's just getting super awkward.

"So...uh...do you know how to get to the Stone estate?"

"No."

"Welp...uh...good day to you then."

I got up from the bench and walked away, she gave me the creeps.

I asked some of the ponies walking by where I might find the Stone estate, they told me it's located west of the castle but you've gone too far if you've gone past the castle wall.

I followed the vague directions as much as I could, I ended up staring at a large and guarded iron gate with a gold plaque.

Stone Family Estate, Founders of Stone Haven.

End of the line, huh.

Author's Note

Man, I'm expecting this story to continue for a while honestly. Just a thousand words every day or two.

Thanks for reading!

If ya see any errors please tell me!

I hope you have a radical day my dudes! 👍

Major Meeting

Major Meeting

The security detail at the front of the estate didn't give me much trouble, they just asked me my business and I told them why I was there. They let me in and pointed me towards a large stone brick manor in between two smaller buildings.

The walk through the estate was something else.

On the borders of the simple gravel path were bushes and the occasional statue. Let me say that some of these statues were definitely...abstract. Like there was this one statue that stood out from the rest because it was made of crystals, it showed a unicorn and a deer fighting but it was all disorganized, so it might just be my interpretation.

There were several other statues and a few memorials as well. After walking for some time I eventually reached the main estate building, it's warm orange lights practically lifting me off the ground.

"I'm as cold as hell out here, I'm going to end up losing another finger if I don't head in."

I opened the pristine wood door and walked inside, I saw the secretary desk so I shuffled over after stomping off excess snow at the door. I went to the desk but there was no secretary there.

"Hello? Is anybody here?"

"Oh...one second."

Ok, cool must be a mare by the voice.

A female minotaur walked in with a cup of coffee, her hulking form-fitting snuggly into her desk. She was definitely different from the male minotaurs, not as burly and she didn't have horns.

Still ripped as all hell though.

"Uh...hello...I was told to come here and see Mr. Stone."

"You're Mr. Peter correct?"

"Yep, that's me."

"Okay, you'll have to wait for a few minutes as Mr. Stone is currently in a meeting. There are a few books by the window if you get bored."

I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to a chair by the window. I picked up one of the books and started reading. I had been like that for sometime before I was notified by the secretary that Brim Stone had finished his meeting.

"Which room is it?"

"Up the stairs. It's the last door on the left!"

I trudged myself up the central staircase to find two hallways. I was too lazy to walk back so I just yelled my question down to the secretary.

"Hey! Which hallway is it!"

"The right one!"

"Thanks!"

I meandered my way down the right hallway while looking at all the fancy architecture and furniture the building had to offer. There were so many things lining the walls that made them look crowded like portraits and plaques. I arrived at the room I needed to enter after looking around a bit.

I opened the door and entered the room to find that there wasn't anybody inside. There was a small slip of paper on the table in front of a big black chair. I walked over and turned it around so I could see what was written.

Peter

I guess this is where I sit. I was expecting a casual conversation, not an interview, I didn't even prepare my resume and my page of disappointments. I saw down and waited...and waited...before the door suddenly opened.

It was Brim Stone, the stallion looked even worse for wear then when I last saw him. His small spectacles doing nothing to hide the large bags under his eyes and his wizard hat was crooked. He sat down opposite of me after ringing one of the many bells on a panel by the wall.

He sighed, he unkempt mane springing up in some places.

"I apologize for my appearance Mr. Peter but it seems that the blizzard has brought forth more than just cold weather this year."

"Oh..."

I have no idea what to say.

"I wanted to inform you, Mr. Peter, that I've not forgotten the offer I made you, you are welcome to take one of the guest rooms in the manor for as long as you need it."

"W-well thank you, I do have some questions though if you don't min-"

Right before I could finish my sentence the door to the room opened rather quickly and a stream of maids walked in and started dropping off all sorts of dishes. One laid a large plate of pastries and another maid gave me a cup of coffee! Sweet mother of god, it's coffee! I'd jump off another waterfall for a cup of this holy nectar.

I hadn't eaten anything this morning and it was around lunchtime so I was starving.

"What were you saying, Peter?"

"I have a few questions, but first do you find if I have some of those donut thingies?"

"Help yourself, within reason."

With a half-eaten donut in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, I continued my train of thought.

"So I came in when the blizzard was at it's weakest but I fell unconscious can you tell me what happened next?"

"Your companion is actually being held behind the manor, and my daughter, she's...ill at the moment. Your supplies are securely locked away at estate guard barracks."

"Your daughters ill?"

He nodded his head.

"How bad is it?"

"Very bad."

"Could I see her? I can cast some healing magic."

I think.

He looked at me, his eyes narrowed, which made for a rather intimidating appearance all things considered.

"Okay."

"I'm not going to promise you it's going to work through."

" Good, I don't like empty promises. Before we go to see her are there any more questions?"

"Yeah, can I get another cup of coffee?"

The old stallion smiled a little bit, that's a first. He then gestured for me to follow him.

"My daughter, Tine, is at the servant quarters. It's the building left of this one."

"Why in the servant quarters?"

"Its easier for the staff to help her and monitor her condition."

As we walked we talked about the history of the estate and the Stone family. Overall it was a pretty good talk and it seemed to liven Brim Stone's mood.

We left the building and we were met with light snowfall. We walked on a small gravel path to the servant's quarters. Once we got inside we hoofed it to his daughter's room.

We arrived at her room and entered. I saw the lime pony laying in bed covered head to in pillows, she looked sick.

"So what's wrong with her?"

"We don't know. The healing mage we had come over from the Healer's Organization couldn't figure it out as well."

"If they couldn't figure it out I don't know what I'm going to do...but I can try something."

"Hmmm? By all means, just don't hurt her. I'd hate to have to spend time cleaning the blood off the walls."

Jesus Christ!

I walked over to her and observed her. Without her large bonnet on you could tell she was a unicorn, she must take after her mother in terms of characteristics. I hovered my hand over her sleeping form and felt the familiar beat of the ring. It was something I tried to ignore.

I put my hand on her head and the beating of the ring become thunderous until I closed my eyes and opened them again. I was in that weird shadow form again.

Well shit.

Author's Note

I got so much planned! I'm super excited to write the next chapters!

Thank you for reading!

If you see any errors please tell me.

I hope you have a GREAT day! 😁

Chasing Curses!

Chasing Curses

The environment around me morphed and changed. I was now sitting in a carriage. The same carriage that had crashed outside the city. In the carriage was the stallion who possessed the ring originally and Tine, Brim Stone's daughter. Once I realized what was happing I tuned into their conversation.

"Ms. Stone I realize that you have a fascination with magic, really I do, but this is not something to be trifled with. This item is capable of mass destruction if it made its way into the wrong hoofs."

She spoke. This was was the first time I ever heard her say anything at all.

"Prospecter, with all due respect I understand the magical complexities of this item very well. Why do you think I funded the expedition near appleloosa? For fun perhaps?"

"N-no ma'am, I'm just wanted to give a warnin-"

A loud explosion interrupted the conversation, Tine levitated the small wooden slate down at the front of the carriage to speak with the pegasi at the front. I couldn't hear what she said over the violent shaking of the carriage, from what I could see however she was preparing for impact. She magicked up a green barrier around herself and left the stallion to his fate.

The scene changed, I was in the wrecked carriage. Tine was conscious unlike when I found her. She pulled herself out from under a pile of broken wood while she did that I noticed she was decorated with small cuts and bruises but nothing life-threatening.

Once she was free she peeked her head out of the side door. As soon as she did a ray lighting streaked past her hitting a tree with a resounding crack. She ducked back into the carriage and started frantically searching through one of her bags. With a sigh of relief, she pulled out a small emerald necklace that was decorated with a few small teal stones.

"I did not think I would have to use this so soon."

She started charging some sort of spell and as she did I heard something. Something she, at the time, must not have heard. The sound of something approaching, whatever was attacking her had gotten significantly closer. She finished casting her spell and peeked out again from the carriage.

Though this time the black lightning struck her and broke her newly placed magic barrier. At this moment I turned to look at where the lightning was coming from. Through the wind and snow, I saw a shadow with glowing eyes.

Before the shadow could make another daring attack Tine levitated the necklace onto her neck. The shadow cast something, it's hard to describe due to the weather condition, but whatever it was it connected with Tine. It caused her to fall inside the carriage.

I looked at Tine, she had no obvious injuries but she was unconscious. I glanced through the side door to see the shadow approaching or attempting too. It was being pushed back by an invisible force when it got to a specific distance. It struggled for some time, it kept pushing and being repelled in return by an invisible barrier.

I looked down at the unconscious pony and saw the necklace around her neck pulsing when the shadow got to close. I reached down with one of my shadowy appendages. I guess that's what the vision was trying to get me to do because once I did the vision changed to the church from the previous vision.

(A picture to paint the image a bit better, also it's night time so imagine it with more torchlight then sunlight. I do not own this artwork. This picture was posted on Polycount by TheRealFroman.)

The wood and stone cathedral from before had grown exponentially. Tapestries of the sun were laid among many of the walls that seemed to stay bright even when in the shadows and statues of ponies lined the walls. I was standing in the aisle as I had been before only this time the aisle was much larger and was fashioned with a thin red carpet.

Near the altar was Paleblood reading quietly from a thick brown book with a pair of small spectacles that were similar to Brim Stones. He looked very much the same but there were a few gray hairs in his mane.

The cathedral was silent, there were no ponies or scurrying priests, not even a mouse. The large iron door lit by candlelight creaked open which disrupted the tranquility. Paleblood looked up from his book upon hearing the door. It looked to be one of the stallions that Paleblood had healed in the previous vision, the stallion looked worried and out of breath.

"Father! Father!"

The stallion rushed down the aisle his robe swishing every which way. Once he arrived at the alter he talked in a hoarse tone.

"One of the sol cardinals was cursed while fighting off a lunar ambush. I come to you, father, in hopes you may save his life!"

Paleblood glanced up at the stained glass above the altar. It was in the shape of the sun, the moonlight behind it made orange colors dance on the alter. He looked back at the stallion.

"Show me."

His words were filled with a strong conviction and instilled a sense of ease. He stepped off the altar with a grace that didn't match his large frame. He walked with the stallion as they gracefully maneuvered through the maze of corridors and rooms. Many of the candles in these dark hallways showing their fleeting shadows.

They arrived at a room and entered. The room was filled with small chatter which stopped once the two of them entered the room. Said room was very similar to the Stone servant quarters. This situation is giving me deja vu, have I done this before? My thinking is starting to get hazy, it feels like that the longer that I'm all shadowy the harder it is to think straight.

Paleblood walked up to the pony and stared down at the pony. The pony in question was an earth pony equipped with heavy armor with large sun emblazoned pauldrons.

Paleblood started casting a spell and as he did a force of some kind was drawing me towards him. I resisted as much as I could but the mysterious force eventually won. Once I was close enough I was forcefully shifted into Paleblood's perspective.

Dark orange colored magic had gathered at his horn. He released the magic which came out as a sort of orange ball of twisting magic. Paleblood lowered the ball onto the earth pony, whatever the magic did it healed the magic. He finished casting the spell and I was rocketed out of his body and out of the vision.

I blinked and I was back in my body. Oh thank god, I was getting scared there. Like if I stayed like that any sooner I'd be washed away. I looked down to see a green magic ball spinning furiously over Tine. The magic ball, as it spun, was sucking up some sort of black liquid from Tine's body.

Once I noticed there was no more black stuff I realized I had no idea how to dispel magic. Do I just throw it? I saw a small bucket and underhand tossed the magic, still spinning, magic ball into it. That shit exploded into a bunch of black sludge. None of the crap hit anybody but damn was it big, it'd suck to have to clean that up.

I looked over at Brim Stone to see him slack-jawed. His spectacles were slowly falling off.

"Uh...Mr. Stone?"

"P-p-p-p-purification magic! D-do you understand what you just did!"

"Purification magic, If I had to guess."

"T-that magic was only used by the upper echelon of the solar church, h-how did yo-"

His barrage of questions was interrupted by a sudden newcomer.

"Father when people are sleeping it's better not to lecture them on the occul-"

She leaned up from the bed her mane flopping down in front of one eye. She looked exhausted but better than before. She glanced at me.

"Oh, hello."

Author's Note

I cannot stress enough that I don't own that image.

Also, I know there might be a question about established curse lore. So let's just say it will be discussed more in the next chapter.

Thanks for reading!

If you see any errors please tell me.

I hope you have a good day! 👌

Stealthily Stored

Stealthily Stored

"Ugh, I've tried everything, why are you worried about the ring right now? You should worry about the ring when you don't look like you got hit by a truck!"

"Truck? Bah, I doubt you've tried anything at all. That ring is worth more than your life, do you know how many bits that expedition cost me!"

Oh no she's going full Karen mode, I'm so glad I don't have a manager.

"Well, if you must know, I did try using the hospital's kitchen oil to remove the rin-"

"You did what!"

"Pfffft...nothing."

Jeez, was this ring really that important? She seemed much nicer when she was captured by bandits or buying apple products.

I decided to take a break from the argument and walk outside the servant's quarters for a breath of fresh air.

"How does someone go from waking up to yelling at someone that fast," I mumbled as I sat down on one of the benches outside.

Tine had only been awake for an hour or two. She and Brim Stone talked a little bit before I was brought up in their conversation. I introduced myself as the person who saved her stupid ass two times. Somewhere during the small duration of our talk, she noticed my ring and before I even noticed we were neck-deep in an argument.

"She must have really wanted this ring."

A stallion in a fancy suit exited from the servants quarters. His face was the epitome of professionalism, no hint of emotion whatsoever.

"That would be an understatement sir."

Ah, an eavesdropping butler. How stereotypical.

"Uh...cool...I could give two shits."

"Madam spent many months tracking down that ring."

"Cool, I got fucked in the ass by a blizzard with a personal vendetta."

"The ring is very close to her. Please be understanding with the madam."

And just as quickly as he entered the conversation he left.

This world is so stupid. Can't a guy catch a break? It just seems like it's one thing after another since I got here. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Visions, hydras, magic, witches, and visions. Well...at least this beats being a librarian."

I sat down for a few more minutes before getting up and cracking my back.

What should I do now? I really don't feel like going back in that room just yet.

I should check on Hugo, that big lizard probably got himself in trouble. I'll come back and talk to Brim Stone later.

Where'd he say Hugo was? Behind the manor right? Now that I had a location in mind and a distraction on the horizon, I made my way over to find Hugo. The manor itself was a short walk from the servants quarters. Once I got behind the large solid foundation of the manor I glanced around.

In the distance, I could see a large building. Maybe it was the storage for the manor or something. I walked over to the storage building which was actually quite tall. Its stone foundation and walls making for an intimidating building. The doors of the storage building were rather big, I guess they needed it to be so they can get large items in and out.

Next to the large doors were two stationed guards in armor similar to the guard at the entrance to the estate. I walked up to the entrance to talk with one of the guards.

"Hello there gentl-"

"We don't want to buy anything, go away."

"Yeah go away."

What? I didn't even do anything.

"Well, look I need to get my giant alligator friend or at least see him."

"Pfffft...yeah right buddy! Like we would believe you," The stallion said snarkily.

"Yeah, we don't believe you."

That second guard is pissing me off.

"Okay, well there must be some way I can convince you to let me in to see him."

"Nope."

"Nada."

I hate them.

"Okay take care of yourselves, don't accidentally trip and snap your neck."

I took a little walk around the building since the guards didn't seem persistent on following me after my not so subtle threat to beat them. I walked to the back of the stone building to find nothing of importance but was instead pleasantly surprised by a small window.

"You know what, fuck it, I've been through worse recently. Breaking into a building won't be the stupidest thing I've done."

The only problem was the window was a bit up there. Which means I would need to scale the wall, I'm totally screwed. I put my foot on a loose brick and pushed myself up. Using my fingers to firmly grip the windows sill I hoisted my torso up. The window was jammed, just my luck.

I leaned on my right shoulder and prepared to push the window. Once I was positioned correctly I started pushing and right when I applied enough force it swung open unexpectedly causing me to fall through.

I let out a yelp as I collided with a pile of unorganized junk. My whole back hurt so I gave myself some of that sweet sweet healing magic. However using the healing magic made me tired, but hey, being tired is better than being in pain. I looked around the storage building. It was two stories tall with a flight of stairs leading up to the top floor.

I spotted a familiar reptilian tail and walked over to it while avoiding the random stuff stored around. There were many interesting things stored like telescopes and piles of old pictures. I rounded a bunch of barrels to find Hugo happily munching on some kind of crystal that was prepared on a platter.

Right before I said something, I noticed on the platter there was a note that read the following in big letters.

Courtesy of T. Roogna.

I guess someone was thinking and looking after Hugo for me.

"Hey, bud. How do the crystals taste?"

He just looked up at me and I swear to god he grinned.

I sat there for some time and talked more to myself than him. I guess I just needed to let off some steam bit, the past few days have been something else.

Also, crystals taste like garbage...not that I tried.

Author's Note

Sorry peeps I've been super busy preparing for some performances. Thanks for being patient.

Thanks for reading.

If you see any errors please tell me.

HAVE A GREAT DAAAAAAAAAAY.

Carelessly Creeping

Carelessly Creeping

"You know you're really eating a lot of those crystal things?"

Hugo reared his large reptilian head and looked me in the eyes and grunted before dropping his large head back onto the silver platter.

"Hey, don't give me that look! You're just mad cause it's true."

Maybe hanging out with Hugo for this long is driving me crazy, I should get up and do something till I'm ready to go back and speak with Brim Stone.

I got up from my comfortable position on a barrel placed near Hugo's platter and started looking around. Most of the storage facility was filled to the brim with all sorts of things. Ranging from pieces of art to broken telescopes and notebooks. Almost all of it was covered in dirt or dust, for such a rich family they didn't seem really good at keeping things clean.

I made it halfway through the room before I noticed something, it was disturbingly quiet with just the faintest sounds. The distant munching of crystals and the very faint creaking of wood.

I looked up, there was a second floor but with no obvious way up. Something or someone was moving around up there. Whatever it is it's causing my ring finger to itch.

"This curiosity is going to get me killed one day."

I traveled to the other side of the room to see if there was a way up and to my surprise I found something funny. If you're going to have a secret way up to the second floor at least do a good job. Cause seeing a ladder hidden under some cloth and tucked in the corner is a stupid way to secure a second floor.

"Whoever the head of security is they're doing a spectacular job."

I grabbed the ladder and took off the large blanket of cloth. I set up the ladder and climbed up to a small, not very well hidden hatch, by the stone wall I was nearest too. I pushed the hatch open quietly making sure to not make much sound. I pulled myself up and left the hatch open.

After pushing myself up off the ground I decided to try and listen for the sound of creaking wood that wasn't from me. There was nothing, the only wood creaking I could hear was when I shifted my weight. I let out a sigh and looked around the only thing in the hatch room was a door that was already wide open.

I pushed the door open the rest of the way, the squeaking of its rusted hinges echoing throughout the upstairs area. I now found myself in a hallway. The hallway's wall were decorated in pictures and notes many of which were unintelligible. Crates of tightly bound parchment and sheets of paper laid haphazardly on the floor.

Hey...this reminds me of Mchawi's hut. I wonder how she's doing. While looking down at the mess I noticed something odd. This was recently disturbed there are marks in the dust. So something is up here, I looked down the hallway to notice three open doors.

"Well...shit."

I walked back to the hatch and closed it and put a box of books on top of it. If whatever is up here intends to leave it isn't going down the hatch. Once I left the hatch room I heard something down the hallway and turned towards it. The door at the farthest end of the hallway was moved slightly.

"Huh...yeah...no I'm good."

I'll check the room on the right first mainly because I'm curious and I'm just a tad bit scared. I pulled the door open and a cloud of dust hit me right in the face causing me to start coughing.

"Damn...ugh...gross."

There wasn't much light only some light shining through a hole in the roof. Which I can only assume came from the roof caving in overtime. In the light, something caught my eye, a picture of my ring. It was roughly drawn and must have been drawn some time ago.

I walked over to the desk and looked at the drawing. There wasn't just one drawing upon further observation there seemed to be many drawings each very similar to the ring but not exactly correct. There also seemed to be many opened books and marked pages.

On the wall closest to the desk, I could see a list of locations many of which had a corresponding mark next to it. I picked up a book that was left open on the desk and went under the light to read it.

Our king once noble and kind has been corrupted by the hate of the undying.
Once upon his head sat our glorious holy crest now sits a ruby red message of death.
Once a part of sol he was our brother of old, now he's nightmare's heir.

The rest of the page seems to descend into gibberish. Amongst the gibberish and unknown terms, there were four underlined and marked phrases.

The Ring of Knowledge.

The Amulet of Power.

The Pale Crown.

Three artifacts that together could change reality.

I don't know what any of that means but upon reading about the amulet and crown the ring on my hand as pulsed. For a brief moment after the pulse, I considered scouring through the books for information. The thought and the want seemed alien in nature.

I decided it might be best if I left the room for now and I explore the rest of the upstairs. I peeked my head out into the hallway and I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I stepped out in the hallway and continued further down it until I reached the door on the end which was teetering ever so slightly to the left and right.

Taking a breath I peeked in the crack of the door to see nothing but darkness. I grabbed the door and opened it slowly. I went and grabbed some books from the hallway to keep the door open.

Then I walked into the room and from what I could make out in the darkness there were display cases but I couldn't see what was in them. I was stressing my eyes trying to see in the darkness, it's frustrating. I ended up cutting my finger on a piece of glass as I skimmed over one of the cases.

"Fuck it."

Seemingly in response to my outburst, the ring on my hand released a small burst of red light which steadily decreased to a small red glow.

"Jesus Christ, I swear you're going to give me a heart attack.......I'm talking to a ring...I'm going crazy."

The red glow from the light provided me with enough light to see some of the environment around me. When I assumed these things were display cases I was right. The glass was old and stained with dirt and dust but I could still make out the items in some of them.

Many of the items looked occult in nature or just old and broken. Or maybe that's how they're supposed to look, I don't know. Once I reached the other side of the room, which was difficult because of the pieces of broken wood and trash that decorated the floor, I stumbled upon something very disturbing.

It was the final display case in the line of display cases in the room but to call it a display case would be a joke. The case in question was not made of wood and glass like the other display cases this case was made of stone and thick metal. In the middle of the case was a small glass circle. A large iron padlock with thick chains laid broken and dangling off the side of the display case.

Inside this safe like display case was a pony mannequin head. With displaced dust and marks around its neck. This was recent to if I'm right. Though that makes this a bit scarier then I thought originally because whoever broke into it did it by melting the metal and burning the stone.

I think I've been curious enough, I'm leaving. I turned to the exit of the room and walked out while shivers went up and down my spine. I close the door behind me and the door to the room I entered earlier. I arrived back at the hatch door but before I could enter I heard something.

It was so quiet you wouldn't hear it unless you were attentive and listening carefully. It was the subtle shifting of weight on wood and the gentle inhale and exhale of someone breathing. I know it isn't me but I can't pinpoint where it's coming from.

I turned to the right if the hallway to see railing to the lower layer of the building and I turned to the left to see the three closed doors, two of which I entered. Then all the sounds became silent again and I had a hunch.

I looked up.

Right above me on the ceiling was one of the bat ponies I had encountered earlier albeit Its color scheme was not the same. We looked at each other and our eyes met. It's large crimson eyes conveyed instantly that this pony thing was a desperate one. In just a few seconds the bat pony spread its bat-like wings and flew through the air and over the railing.

"W-what?"

Author's Note

Been busy

Thanks for reading.

If you see any errors please tell me. I did the read over real lately.

Have a fantastic day!

Breaking Banditry

Breaking Banditry

I screamed I let loose the manliest scream to ever grace the ears of pony kind.

"What kinda batshit crazy thin-"

I was quickly interrupted by the sounds of crashing and yelling. I ran over to the book stack I left on top of the hatch from earlier and dropped down to the lower level. Once I reached the bottom level I was quick to realize the situation.

The guards at the front must not have been expecting a random bat pony to burst through the front door at breakneck speeds. Shards of the door were everywhere, the pony in question must have really done a number on the entrance. There was a lot of hollering and some more yelling, and I just kind of awkwardly stood there waiting to be noticed amidst the chaos.

Hugo looked more or less okay with the situation, in fact, I believe he never looked up from his platter of crystals. Jesus man, have some situational awareness.

The guards that were originally posted at least tripled. It took the guards a few moments to realize I was there standing awkwardly by the door.

"Uh...so um...like...I was tryna see my lizard friend. So I snuck in the back window up there because the two guards in the front wouldn't believe me, and then I talked with him and searched around a bit."

Some of the guards narrowed their eyes at me.

"-And then that bat pony was up there and they screamed and I screamed and we all screamed and she probably stole something maybe yeah."

I got a little bit nervous at the end because of the sudden shift in the atmosphere among the guards. One of the guards decided to speak, I imagine he must have had some sort of authority over the others.

"Well then, I want you to stay here until the situation is resolved and Brim Stone has been informed."

He sent one of the ponies to report the situation to Brim Stone and some of the other employees of the manor. A good bit of time passed before a very worn out Brim Stone arrived at the situation. The exhausted stallion let out a large sigh and gestured for me to come over to him.

"Peter, with everything that has happened in the past few days to this city I shouldn't be surprised this happened now. Explain to me the situation to me from your perspective."

For some reason his tone of voice was very reassuring, it made it easier to relate the story of what had just transpired. He seemed to understand what had happened and let out a long sigh and rubbed his eye. Looking at Brim Stone again, it was obvious this stallion had slept in a while and was working himself to the bone.

"Hmmmmm...Peter...the situation was to be expected to some degree but it is very unfortunate that It came to be. Tine will have to be informed...though maybe at a later date to avoid her wrath."

"That sounds like an absolutely stellar idea, but why would she get mad?"

"Ah, Peter I must have forgotten to tell you, that upper floor was Tine's study or at least it's her old study nowadays."

Tine...a very peculiar individual and from my vision previously and some of the information I have now I can kinda guess she's collecting those artifacts mentioned. My ring must have been the ring of...uh...shit what was it called again? Whatever it doesn't matter.

I glanced down at the ring, zoning out of the conversation with Brimstone, the subtle pulsing of the red ring reminding me of the soft beating of a heart, its definitely unsettling.

"It seems I can't get out of your debt Peter, I'll think of something to repay you. In the meantime, I need some rest and I believe you do as well. I shall handle my daughter on a later date."

"What? Huh? Oh yeah, yeah."

Brim Stone just nodded his head and turned away to go speak with the guards, but I needed some information.

"Wait! Brim Stone where is the room I'm staying at?"

"Top floor, in the west wing and It's the last door on the left. It should have your name on it."

With that said, Brim Stone turned back around to address the security around the storage room. I turned away as well and walked towards the manor in hopes of finding my room, and hopefully getting some shut-eye.

I'm exhausted the walk from the hospital to Stone Haven and the Rocky Hope incident and just everything that's happened. Some rest sounds so good right now, and on a real bed too for that matter!

I arrived at the main lobby area quicker then I had expected and started making my way to the top floor. I went down the hallway opposite of where I met Brim Stone for our meeting, I came to find a small staircase at the end of the hallway that led to the next floor.

Upon reaching the top floor I walked down the hallway and came to find my room just where Brim Stone said it would be. I saw the little slip of paper with my name on it pinned to the door and decided to enter the room for some much-desired rest.

The room was large by the looks of it and contained some bookshelves, and a desk as well as a large central bed. I've never had such a large room in my life!

I took four steps into the room and it felt like every bone in my body was slowly turning to jello the closer I got to the bed, and with one final push, I crashed onto the queen-sized bed and looked at the ceiling and then towards the window between the bookshelves.

The light of the moon lulling me to sleep as it had done on many of the nights since I arrived on Equus, I guess it reminds me of home for some odd reason. With thoughts of home in my head and the many wonders of Equus drifting through my mind I fell asleep.

Though with my luck, I doubt I'm going sleep well.

Author's Note

Hi hello!

I hope you enjoyed!

If you see any errors tell me!

Difficult Directions

Author's Note

Bam! Room thing in five minutes!

Ha, I drew a little room, this is the layout of the room he is currently staying in. I didn't want to put things like chairs cause I'm lazy.

I hope you enjoyed reading!

if you did, tell me!

I hope you have a wonderful day

Difficult Directions

Difficult Directions

Light streamed in through the parted curtains of the window waking me from my sleep. What a beautiful and peaceful way to wake up, not a care in the world...wait that's not right. Oh yeah, that whole shadow thing.

....I should get on that. I peeled myself out from under the thick covers of the bed and took my first steps of the day albeit a bit wobbly.

I pulled up my torn and worn slacks and suspender and put on the hospital gown and rolled it up and tucked it in to make a shirt. I did some of the basic morning stretches which I haven't done since I was back on earth. Once I finished stretching, I sauntered over to the window and casually opened it to be met with a nice cool morning breeze. I took in a deep breath and released it.

"I'm screwed."

With a sour smile on my face, I slammed the window shut and turned around. I have to find a way to protect myself, first things first I should make a list of priorities, and a set of objectives. No need to panic after all.

I walked over to the desk that was neatly tucked into the corner of the room and found a piece of scrunched up paper balled up on the top of the desk. There was also a Quill and ink set, perfect.

Peter's Protection Program

I need some sort of weapon or something, a.k.a. protection from pilfering ponies!

I need to know more about the ring and all of the artifacts. I should talk to Tine, hopefully, she isn't mad.

Learning about the land of Equestria would be beneficial to me, I should get on that.

I should find some more knowledge about magic, utilizing it to its full potential would be better than relying on a nightmare ring from hell.

Do an inventory check!

Visit the Stone Haven market place, might find something worthwhile to help.

Dude, this looks absolutely beautiful. Amazing really, ignoring all the ink splotches and the paper wrinkles. I looked at the piece of paper and decided an objective to do first.

I should try and schedule a meeting with Brimstone today or tomorrow. In the meantime, I should talk to the receptionist about getting around here and try to find a library.

I quickly walked over to where they put all my stuff that Hugo had previously been carrying on his back. I don't really want to do an inventory check right now, maybe later. I grabbed the sack of filled with roc feathers, and my bits. That said, I slapped my hands on my face to really wake myself up before continuing on with my day.

Rubbing my sore cheeks and with an objective in mind, I left the comfort of my room and went to meet the receptionist. I grabbed a muffin off the platter of a passing maid because I'm hungry...and I'm kind of a dick. A man has to eat y'know...I probably could have just asked nicely.

Shrugging my shoulder, I meandered my way down the first floor to find a much more busy room then I had previously been in yesterday. There were races in the lobby I haven't seen before, and a few estate guards as well. There must be something happening that I don't know about. Looking at the new race, it was definitely interesting.

Griffins, or smaller ones, definitely not as big as the ones depicted in earth mythos.

(Imagine it a bit smaller and then it's a good reference)

They were in a group conversing by the central staircase, just from observing them and their behavior for a short time I could determine they were warriors of some reputation. They were definitely attention-grabbing, at least to me. Large belts and pushed hung around their bodies and several of them were wearing armor pieces of some kind, the armor was definitely gear more for mobility then defense.

I walked down the central staircase my left hand trailing along the staircase railing. I must have been too obvious I was observing them because one of the Griffins turned their feathered head in my directions. I speed-walked the rest of the way down the stairs and towards the secretary.

I made my way through some surprised ponies, and a slid between two minotaurs conversing with the receptionist.

"Oops..uh...sorry to interrupt your conversation but I just wanted to know where the nearest library is?"

The two minotaurs that I was almost smashed against huffed, I guess they didn't like the interruption. When the secretary responded I swear to god the muscles in her neck flexed and a vein bulged.

"Follow the road out of the estate till you enter the central park area, continue through the market and you'll eventually see a building with a circular roof. That's the library."

Jeez, I can catch a hint.

Now that I know where I'm going, I left the manor and made my way to the exit of the estate. Upon exiting the estate I followed the road that went through the center of Stone Haven. I eventually arrive at a circle, that was by itself incredibly busy and filled with shops. In the center of the circle was a large birch, unnaturally large compared to its earth counterpart.

I shook my head, I couldn't afford time getting distracted. I headed towards the marketplace, which meant heading towards the large imposing castle. I wonder who lives there...well If I ever get to the library maybe I can find out. After a short time, I found myself at the entrance of the market.

I was met with banners of all kinds and color flowing through the air and stalls lining and taking up every available spot. Groups of all races and origins bustled through the market, while instruments played and the sounds of the market sprung to life. I took a few steps in and it felt like I had been pulled into a raging river. I didn't know where I was anymore. I just got stuck in the flow of the market, tons of conversing ponies, cages with creatures of all manner, minotaurs hosting drinking contests, magic displays of all kinds!

Ugh.

The directions weren't even that difficult.

Well...If I'm already at the market I might as well have a look around, even if my bit pouch is a little lighter then I'd like.

Merry Market!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Lord's Library

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Precarious Plan

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Readily Reading/More Major Meetings?!

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Brilliant Basement

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Meditating Mannerisms

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Cold Catharsis

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Pondering Preparation?

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Aerial Arrival

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Audible Audience

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Celestial?! Check!

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Serious Suspicions?

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Hey Hugo

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Irregular Investi-gator

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Daily Doofus

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Prankin' Producers/ Prepared Partings

Ramblin' Roads/ Prankin' Producers

"Okay, okay, I get! I'm a horrible demon person, now let me get the source of all this out of your house!"

After letting the farmer and every one of his family members insult me I was shown to where the alligator was being kept. Some of those insults would make a sailor blush!

The homestead had on it a small shack which is where the farmer led me to. With minimal effort, the burly farm pony threw the barred and locked shed door aside. Once the door was almost off its hinges I heard a loud hiss come from inside the building. I poked my head I rubbed my eyes in disbelief.

That damn lizard got even bigger. It's thick scaled tail was poking out the small window in the back because it was too big to fit in the room.

I turned to the farmer, who looked at me like I just pissed on his grandmas grave or something, and asked him about the security.

"What's with the bolts and locks? What happened?"

"What do ya think ya dungheap, there's a demon if ever there was one!"

"Ah, I see, well that demon will be leaving with me. Sorry to hear he gave you trouble. One more question, where are the items that were on the alligator."

"Pfft, ya ratbrain...the items are in the storm cellar."

"Let me greet the...uh...demon and I'll head over and grab them."

I cautiously walked through the shed before arriving at the scaled behemoth. I lowered myself onto my feet

"Hey demon, you feel like jumping off another waterfall or pulling plows for cowboys?" It lazily opened its right eye in response.

"Oh come on, really?" It blinked.

"If I had my fucking pitchfork-"

"Ya havin' trouble in there, chucklehead?"

I wish ponies weren't so strong, then I could just give 'em a right hook. Then break my hand on his jaw because of my noodle arms. I leaned down and whisper to the alligator, who I still doubt understand anything I say.

"Hey, if ya get up and get ready I'll...er...prank the farmer."

The alligator, with no hesitation, was up and already leaving the shack. You have got to be kidding me. The farmer led me and the diregator over to the storm cellar. I brought everything up the stairs and loaded them onto the unnamed alligator. Things like my lantern, bloody 'n ripped shirt, and my minuscule camping supplies were among them.

On my last trip up the cellar stairs, I noticed a small shovel and the gears in my mind started turning, a malicious prank was brewing.

"Hey, are you going to use this shovel down here. If not can I have it?"

"If ya got the bits." The farmer's dry chuckle echoed down the stone stairs.

"I could always leave that demo-"

"Fine, fine! Take the damn shovel."

Jesus, I didn't even get to finish speaking. Dude must hate the idea of the alligator staying around.

I picked up the short shovel. Once I double checked the loaded-up cargo I led the alligator over to the border of the homestead guided by the farmer.

"Now ya better steer clear of here from now on, son" I nodded my head and acted like I was leaving.

Once he turned around I used the small shovel to get some of the...fertilizer and then flinged it with all of my noodle arm power. Now my aim is pretty bad, I aimed for his head and it hit his...posterior dimensions.

Needless to say, I jumped on the alligator and we bolted. I think the prank was successful if the curses in the distance were anything to go by. Man, it feels so good to laugh, it feels like it has been too long. The alligator slowed down after a while till it was just us two on the road.

"So...how's life?"

The alligator only grumbled in response.

On the way back to Appleloosa I started thinking about everything that's happened to me.

How'd my life go from working as a librarian to conversing with an alligator about its quality of life? How can I understand the pony language? How am I so calm? I mean, I even jumped off a waterfall a while back!

I shook my head to clear up the unanswered questions and turned my gaze towards appaloosa.

We arrived on the outskirts of Appleloosa after a few more minutes of walking. I hopped off the alligator and speed-walked into town and towards the sheriff's office after telling it to stay put. I entered the town and got to the sheriff's office rather quickly. I opened the creaky door and walked in.

The sheriff greeted me with a small wave.

"Howdy partner."

"Hello, I just wanted to tell you I got my alligator and I'm planning to leave tonight for Stone Haven. I wanted to ask that instead of giving me the train ticket you could lend me some traveling supplies. Y'know, 'cause the train is currently filled with holes and all that jazz."

"All the way ta Stone city? I can give ya some supplies but you'll have to make it last."

"Yep. How's it like?"

"Stone Haven?"

"Yeah."

The sheriff got up from behind his desk and started walking out the office, he gestured for me to follow him.

"It's pretty big and mighty mysterious. In the past, it was a giant fortress meant to stand against the natural forces of the badlands it's said to be infused with fancy-schmancy runes and magic. However, the fortress was turned city by the stone family years ago."

"Wow, so I'm heading to a big shot city?"

"Big 'nough for the royals ta visit."

We started leaving the town and started heading into the orchard.

"Royals?"

"Don'tcha know the royal sisters?"

"Er...I don't get out much."

After walking through the orchard and during the conversation we reached a barn.

"That must be an understatement. How could ya not know the twin sisters, they're known worldwide."

He pulled the large red door opening up the barn.

"What're their names?"

"You're serious ain'tcha? Their names are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I can't quite remember the last names."

Celestia? I've heard that name before I can't remember where though. He handed me two heavy burlap sacks which I assume is filled with supplies. We didn't converse much till we reached the railroad on the edge of town. I turned to him prepared to say my goodbyes.

"It was nice meeting you Sheriff Star."

"It was nice meetin' ya too ya odd lookin' monkey!"

We had a small chuckle and parted ways. I found the alligator where I left him, on the edge of town, lazily laying down. I patted his pack and we started moving southwest.

The second we stepped out of town a tumbleweed jumped me.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed reading!

If you see any errors please tell me.

😃

NightTime Ne'er-do-well!

NightTime Ne'er-do-well!

I hate when I'm right about things.

Long slinking tendrils for arms and legs, check.

Semi-tangible, check.

Definitely not myself, check.

Became a shadow thing again, check.

I was asleep, getting some much-needed rest from the many events which have plagued me since my arrival. Then the next thing I know I was launched from my still sleeping body into the form I'm in now. Not exactly unpleasant, but jarring nonetheless.

The shadow form itself was reminiscent of a human and was exactly like me in terms of proportions. There were just no fingers or toes and more like split ends which I could bend to my will. My legs came to a point and walking was more like levitation...or maybe like gliding across the floor. Now the most eye-catching thing about this state of being was the red pulse sent up the right arm from my ring finger.

Through some quick experimentation, I discovered that while in this form I'm intangible or partly-so. I can pass through wood with ease and I can manipulate very small objects like paper.

However, before I could experiment more my right hand was being tugged towards the window, seemingly pulled by my ring finger. No matter what I did resisting the pull was impossible, the pull forced me through the window. I closed my eyes and held my breath expecting death via plummeting into the dirt.

No such thing happened, confusingly enough I could also fly. Not with any conscious effort though, if anything It felt very similar to breathing. I've come to the conclusion that if I can't resist the pull I might as well enjoy flying around towards wherever it's pulling me to. The ring shot me up into the night sky and what I saw was truly a sight to behold.

The large sprawling city of Stone Haven as lively as could be. Hundreds of lights blinking and moving as the populace went about their night. It made me halt for a moment, it was a view I don't think anyone in their life would ever see, except maybe the winged ponies. Then in just a few seconds, the pull forced me to move once again.

The speed of my movement was startling, swiftly passing through solid rocks and city walls in a matter of seconds. Next thing I knew I was out of the city limits and flying into the mountain ridge north of Stone haven.

I could see my shadow on the snow as I passed over the landscape, my form making my shadow look odd, it's just another thing on my list of what the fuck. I started thinking of everything that's happened to me as the snowy landscape and scenery passed beneath me.

Where is this thing taking me? I mean, this is all so weird. I mean, everything that has happened would drive any normal man insane, and now this too?

On that note, why am I so calm? This is unlike me, or rather I'm not traumatized but what has happened to me since I've arrived in this alien world. Everything is just so...strange.

I wonder if there is a way to get ho-

My thinking was interrupted by the pull suddenly halting.

It was quiet, silent except for the sounds of a ragged and ripped flag moving in the cold wind. The ring had stopped me above the ruins of a small fortress laying on a hill, which from the looks of it was half-buried in snow and rocks. I lowered myself down onto the frozen ground.

Why would it bring me here? For what reason? This is so confusing, I'm just a man and man who likes books and stupid jokes about femurs.

I glided across the snow to the ruins and through the darkness, I spotted a flash of orange. Light,someone is out here, in some abandoned ruins, at this hour of the night. What kinda...well...might as well investigate...out of curiosity. I slinked through the shadows of the ruin, passing through the rubble and snowed in portions of the decaying ruins with little to no effort.

This ring...I'm kinda starting to like it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to keep it...thoughts for another time I suppose.

I arrived at the source of the light, a lantern placed outside a hole in the hillside. I approached the hole and as I neared it I noticed something peculiar. While in this form I was very susceptible to light. The lantern itself was enough to cause my right arm and the right side of my body to distort and dissipate.

I retracted my arm and entered the hole, and the end of what I could only assume was a pony made tunnel I saw the shadows of two ponies conversing. My ring pulsed, and I felt the pull once more though with a lot less force and much more subtle like it was directing me.

I skulked through the hole maneuvering effortlessly through the rocky footing. Upon reaching the end of the hallway, I turned my shadowy head around the bend to see the ponies. It was the bat pony from before, a mare, she looked terrified. This was the same mare that was in the storage facility earlier today.

The other pony in question was...rather hard to describe. Shadow like in nature, very similar to me but tangible in every sense of the word. A dark-colored unicorn mare in a deep almost black robe, with a loose hood ending before her horn. I couldn't see much more about her. It seems however that this conversation was heated.

"After your little screw up in Appleloosa, you should be happy your little band of outlaws didn't completely peris-"

"I-I didn't know that Bowi-"

"Silence, don't interrupt me again."

The bandit only trembled in response to the order and nodded her head furiously.

"Luckily enough for you, I managed to locate the amulet. I assume your retrieval of the artifact didn't have any complications?"

"Y-yes ma'am, for the most part, I ran into this strange creature while attempting to leave and I had to flee."

"What creature...describe it."

"Like a monkey, gangly and tall. Redish hair on its head. The same one that took down Bowie"

"Ah...that is semi-unexpected. One of my agents reported this creature previously, he was identified to be wearing the Ring. I shall have somepony investigate this at a later time. Now, hand me the amulet."

The terrified mare quickly handed the necklace over. Once she handed it over, the other mare uncovered the item from the cloth to reveal an amulet. One that, in design, looked sinister.

A brilliant display of red light was spreading out from the amulet, reflecting off the small cavern walls and ceiling. It put the small lantern inside to shame. The expression of the onyx colored mare was frightening. At least I think that's what that look is, her smile is super creepy.

"Good good, with this in our possession we are one step closer to his resurrection. That being said our deal has come to a close. You'll find your payment at the previously discussed location, with obvious reduction of your screw up."

With little to no warning, the dark mare was enveloped in magic. Then with a 'bzzzt' sound, she was gone. Leaving only the trembling mare by herself.

I've heard all I need to know, at least I think I have. Out of curiosity, I wanted to try something. I could feel my shadowy form dissipating slowly, It must be time to return to my original form. I walked up behind the mare making no sound as I slid up behind her.

I reached out with one of the tendrils forming it into five abnormally long fingers and touched her. When it came to living beings I am tangible I cant go through them, that's good to know. The mare was startled, her bat wings started twitching and her ears turned. She slowly turned her around and looked at me.

I tried to speak but it seems while in this form I can't speak, I should have worked that out earlier before attempting to say hello. She, however, seemed to have something to say.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The mare kept screaming and the last thing I saw before I dissipated was her galloping out the hole with a lantern in her hoof. I was back in my bed, cold sweat drenched my forehead. I couldn't help but laugh at the experience, It's the best way for me to cope. I looked down at my body...all normal so far, hopefully it stays that way.

Though that was pretty fun, especially scaring her at the end.

Ha, I'm mean.

Ah, I'm in danger. The witch-cult looking mare is gonna send someone to investigate me.

What can a guy like me do...I have to do something to protect myself, but that's tomorrow because I'm way too tired to be paranoid tonight.

With that done I fell asleep, with hopes I wouldn't be dead by morning.

Author's Note

Please check out the original poster of this content, Liderfin on Tumblr. I just thought that this was a good idea of what the shadowy form looks like for those that need a reference.

A bit of a more human-esque head and two eyes. Imagine a subtle red pulsing from the right hand and I feel like this was a good reference picture.

Thanks for reading!

Make sure to comment if you enjoyed it!