It was the worst I had felt in years.
A pile of paper lay before me, with more stacks haphazardly strewn across the room. Some form of energy born of lost hope seemed to radiate from the files bursting full of notes, stopping me from even looking at them even when I didn't know where they were around me. My head hung from my shoulders, apparently chained down by the floor covered in yet more paper, all the while a purple pony tried to shake me up.
"Twilight, please. Just... let me rest. Just one more time ..."
"Come on, you can do it! Just another half-hour and we can have a break, alright?"
Twilight was far too insistent, though I could barely feel her hooves on me; hooves that one usually yearned to feel aq touch of were now damned instruments I wanted as far away from me as possible.
"No, Twilight... please, I'm tired. Let me stop here.... "
Twilight only resumed in her efforts to shake me even harder.
" You! Have! A! Deadline! You're not going to have a very good chance of meeting it if you keep cutting work short! "
I did not resist Twilight's efforts, letting her shake me as if a ragdoll. I responded as one in silence.
"...Well? You know that, don't you? Then why are you still doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Not doing anything! Why don't you feel any sense of danger or urgency? Look at me!"
A brief burst of magenta filled my vision, and my head was abruptly pulled upwards to meet Twilight's piercing glare. I merely had to stare downwards to avoid it, and she promptly gave up her efforts to let me hang my head again.
"Is that what you really think, Twilight? I do feel afraid. But then, I figure I never had much of a chance in the first place."
Another magenta light enveloped my head, but it felt far softer than the last, merely pushing my head up gently.
"What do you mean? You know you can do it, you said as much when you signed up for this. And I know you can do it.
She held a hoof to my chin that I stared at to continue avoiding her eyes, all while in a tone softer. "
"Why are you suddenly saying all this now? Please.. tell me. "
Something in that broke my will to keep things secret, and all came loose.
"If I can do it, why am I having do much trouble now? If I really am the talented individual you say, why is none of that showing when I need it?! I've worked so hard for so long, and I’ve little to show for it. Why do you continue to insist that I'm amazing when it's obvious I'm not at all?"
Twilight listened intently, her ears twitching as she gazed much more softly. I had briefly returned to look into her eyes for a second before retreating to the floor.
Some silence passed, enough to quiet the next outburst in me. Twilight, seemingly sensing that seem, began to speak again.
"I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you're one of the most amazing people I've ever been luck enough to meet, if not the most amazing. It doesn't matter what you say now, I know you're better than what you think you are right now."
"Really now? What would you know? "
My retort was bitter, stark contrast to the words and tone in Twilight's hopes.
"And what would you know? The things I've seen you do, I know you do, they're things not many ponies.. or anything could do. Ask anyone!"
Twilight gripped me now by the shoulders, her head above mine.
"The only problem is, you don't think that way. You don't recognise just how special you are, how amazing you are. When you do, you will claim everything you want, no matter the pain involved. I know it hurts now, but you're too brilliant to give up now. And until then... "
Her grip on my shoulders began to hurt slightly, even when she has barely moved. My eyelids felt a little heavier.
"...If you won't see yourself for how you should be, then I will by myself. All I won't ever stop believing in you or let you give up on what will make you happy."
Some form of pressure built up in my head, and I had to put all effort in repressing it as I answered.
"Is.. is that what you really think, Twilight?"
She leaned ever closer, enough so I could no longer avoid her, and spoke her most damning of words.
"Yes, it is. All because I love you."
The last words from Twilight had finally broken me. I wept, sobbing like a fool. Twilight lifted me a little and brought her body to mine, wrapping her legs around me in an embrace. All while I tried to contain myself, I could register a peck on a cheek, then her shifting herself to let sink my face into her chest, sobbing into her familiar, warm coat. Her coat did turn out to be good at absorbing fluids, as I continued to break down in her hug, possibly the most comforting place in the world.
"It's alright... let it all out. Just wipe those tears on me, alright?"
All I could do the moment I had calmed enough was gush about how much I loved her, how sorry I was for disappointing her, how glad I was to have her with me and how I had to cook her dinner again to make up for it. Twilight just continued to smile, gently letting me know all was well.
"Feel better now? "
"Yeah. Much better. Incidentally, what you just said sounds familiar... "
Twilight giggled.
"What, you forgot already? You told that same thing to me a long time ago, remember?"
While I had to get back to work, Twilight hugging me was too much to give up. As if on another cue, Twilight spoke something else familiar.
"Want me to read your notes to you from here?"