Make way for the REAL Storm King.

Chapter 2
I am your king now.

The Storm King was a Satyr.

Frankly I was disappointed. With such a grandiose title I expected maybe a creature of living lightning or maybe a wind elemental or some kinda wizard or whatever. Or maybe I’ve watched too much anime. The point is, his appearance was extremely underwhelming.

“Your greatness, we’ve brought the creature.” Said my guard as he shoved me forward.

The Storm King looked up from where he was standing behind a grand maptable he was studying. He kinda looked like a more scrawny Storm Beast. And his fur was snowy white instead of cloud grey. Like the storm beasts, his hands only had three digits. Two fingers and a thumb. His small, beady eyes were a bright lightning blue. Perhaps most distinguishing were the two large horns sprouting from his brow.

“Eh? What are you supposed to be?” he asked in a voice that was much higher in pitch than I imagined it would be.

“I’m a human.” I deadpanned.

“Never heard of ya.” he said dismissively.

“I’d be surprised if you had. My kind ain't exactly from around here.” I replied with all the emotional input of a brick.

“No matter, I’ll conquer them in due time.” he said offhandedly as he picked up a familiar red backpack. “Let's get to the point.”

He rummaged through my pack, pulling out my cell phone and MP3 player.

“I wanna know what these thingies are, and where you got them.”

“That,” I pointed at the MP3 player, “Is a music device. It contains hundreds of songs.”

“Truly? Where do you fit the records?”

Before I could answer, a guard barged into the room. “My king, I bring news.”

“CAN you NOT see I’m busy!” The king screamed. All signs of his earlier aloofness gone.

“But sire, there is a riot in one of the coast towns. It…”

“Do I look like I care? What do I pay you guards for? Handle it. Slap some villagers around or something, just make em stop. I need to focus on my rebranding. I got a shipment of merchandise coming in on the next convoy. And someone remind me to fire the last sculptor. These statuettes are way too scrawny looking.” He yelled as he tossed a small figurine of himself at the wall.

What the flying fuck? I could not believe my ears. This guy, this so called fearsome tyrant, is a total idiot with all the signs of megalomania.

“Now then, you were about to explain to me the workings of this doohickey.” he said to me, suddenly all smiles again.

As he spoke, a daring plan began to form in my mind.

“Of course, sire.” I said, trying to sound as deferential as I could, “it will require a few tools though.”

“What kind of tools?”

“A few screwdrivers, maybe some pliers. The device has taken a bit of a tumble, so I will need to open it up to demonstrate it to you, my King.”

“Fine, fine.” he said in a supremely bored tone before shouting, “STRIFE!!”

A strange creature floated into the room. It almost looked like a small thundercloud. But it had a face that was eerily skull like, and a pair of thin, dangly arms. Could it be some kind of air elemental?

“You bellowed, oh mighty one?” Strife said in a most simpering tone.

“Have some clockmakers tools brought up to my personal study, this slave is about to demonstrate a remarkable device to me.”

“At once oh most respected of kings.”

The whole scene was bizarre. These guys were almost like a cartoon villain and flunky pair. What kind of world have I landed in.

“Come along now, slave. And you better not be wasting my time.” the Storm King said as he led the way out of the throne room. His guards remained at their posts. Perfect.

“I would not dare waste the time of someone as powerful as you, highness.” I replied meekly.

“Good, I'd hate having to waste money on good oil, just to boil you in it.” he laughed as if that was somehow the most hilarious thing ever.

My hatred for this obnoxious dick only hardened my resolve.

Another set of doors led us into a lavish study slash bedroom. I placed the MP3 player on the heavy wooden desk and waited. Soon, Strife appeared, carrying a toolbox.

“It’s about time.” The storm king growled, “now, slave, get to work.”

“Right away, your majesty.” I said as I rummaged through the toolbox.

After a few moments of searching I finally found what I was looking for. A long thin screwdriver with a flat wide head. I swallowed hard as I lifted it from the toolbox. I would either succeed, or I would die in the next few minutes. I took a deep, steadying breath.

“Now please, watch closely.” I said.

And the idiot did just that. He bowed down, leaning his hands upon the desk to get a closer look as I lifted the screwdriver up to the MP3 player.

I let out a breath, reversed my grip on the tool, and rammed it straight through his eye in one explosive motion, all the way up to the handle. Blood leaked out of the ruined socket, his body starting to spasm uncontrollably before his legs lost the ability to hold him up. With A dull thud the Storm King collapsed to the ground. A choking noise worming its way up his throat. His intact eye gazed at me with surprise. His hands clawing at my pants leg as he tried to grapple with me futilely.

I lifted my foot and brought it down on the handle of the screwdriver, driving it all the way through his skull. He went still.

My heart raced in my chest. My throat felt dry, and my skin cold. I had just killed someone. I had crossed the Rubicon, and there was no going back. A stress induced chuckle rose from my throat.

“Death by lobotomy, bitch.” I snickered, dangling on the edge of hysteria.

“Wha.. what did you do?” Said the creature Strife.

His words snapped me out of my semi dazed state. Grabbing another screwdriver from the toolbox I slammed him into the wall with my other arm and held it up to his eye. I’m surprised my hands were so steady considering the amount of adrenaline that was roaring through my veins and brain.

“Listen and listen good you little shit. You’re going to help me, or I swear upon whatever gods you believe in you will be begging for death by the time I’m done with you.”

He gave me a calculating look, showing little fear. I guess he was used to death threats. “What is it you want? A way out of here, unseen by the guards?”

“Oh no, I have no intention of leaving.”

That seemed to surprise him. “Then what are you planning?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m taking over. And you will help me do so.”

His eyes narrowed, his expression shrewd. “And what, pray tell, is in it for me?”

“Besides your life?” I asked. He didn’t so much as blink though. Good poker face. “Double.”

“Double what?” he asked.

“Everything. Whatever your former boss gave you, if you work with me I will double it. Money, jewels, women, I don’t give a fuck. You help me and it's yours.”

“And why should I accept this? Why shouldn’t I just take over myself?”

“Simple, it’s too much work.”

He stared at me blankly.

“You strike me as the type who would much rather be the tyrants right hand man. All the rewards, but far less risk and less work. Why else would you have put up with that idiot for as long as you have. He didn’t exactly strike me as the sharpest knife in the kitchen.”

He glanced over to the storm king’s corpse before looking back at me.

“But if you help me realize my vision, I will give you all you desire, within reason. All you have to do is boss people around for me, and you get to enjoy all the perks of the job. So what do you say? Do we have an accord?” I asked.

I could practically see the gears spinning in his head. He was seriously considering it. His type are all the same. They are toadies, ambitious but lazy. They want power, but they don’t wanna work on keeping that power, they just want the perks. And I just offered him a big juicy carrot. Double what he had now, for doing the exact same thing he was already doing.

“We have an accord.” he said finally.

I released my grip on his arm and shook his hand. He was a surprisingly solid creature for something that looked like a skull-cloud with arms made of smoke.

“Then let’s get started. Round up some guards that you can trust, we need to take control of the castle.”

“I will see to it at once, my liege.” he said with a scheming grin and flew over to the door.

A quick exchange of words, and after waiting for several minutes, a quartet of Storm Guards entered. For a moment I feared betrayal, but a brief explanation later they turned to me and saluted with a fist to the chest. A more medieval predecessor to the modern military salute.

“We understand the king has suffered a tragic accident and named you his successor,” said the leader, “long live the new king.”

I returned their salute, looking at each in turn.

“Some of you may harbor doubts, but I assure you, we will pull this off, and your services shall be rewarded. Greatly rewarded.” I emphasised.

I could see the spark of greed in their eyes, even with those weird masks on. The promise of rewards irresistible to them.

“Now then, I require a scribe, or whoever usually takes letters and notes. I also want everyone who holds a position of authority to be assembled in the throne room by noon. Is that understood?”

I received nods of confirmation.

“Good, then get to it.”

“Uhm, what should we do with the body, my lord?” One of the guards asked, looking down at the Storm King’s corpse.

“What do you normally do with your trash?” I asked.

“Uhm, we incinerate it, my lord.”

“Well there ya go then. Burn it, and dump the ashes in the sea. Let there be nothing left to remember him by. If there are any paintings, busts, statues and the like of his image, burn those too. If it can’t be burned, smash it till its nought but dust.”

“Yes, sire. As you command.”

While waiting for everyone to gather, I went over the Storm King’s personal effects. Documents he kept, books and ledgers, as well as a few trinkets. His room also contained a small armory. The armor stand was empty. But the weapon rack held a jagged looking spear, a rather crude looking sword, as well as a heavy duty crossbow. How quaint. I lifted the crossbow from the stand and pulled back the mechanism. It actually worked surprisingly smoothly, requiring very little strength. This could come in handy. I loaded it with a bolt, slung the quiver around my hip, then carried it back into the throne room.

A small crowd had started to gather. Mostly made up of storm beasts, but there were a few others among them too. Humanoid reptilians and fish mostly. A diminutive figure hurried into the room with a notepad, inkwell and quill in his arms. He looked like some sort of small grey and white porcupine or pug faced hedgehog. At least I assumed it was a he.

“Is that everyone?” I asked.

“Yes, sire. As you commanded.” spoke the diminutive creature. His voice held the barest hint of a lisp.

“Good.”

I turned to face the crowd and addressed them: “Ladies and Gentle Creatures. Thank you for arriving so swiftly. As you might have heard already, the Storm King is dead. Everything that was his, is now mine.”

One of the storm creatures, a towering specimen with a streak of blood red in its otherwise white hair, boldly stepped forward, standing less than three feet from me. “Why should we listen to you? What’s to stop us from pounding you to a pulp and taking it from you?”

“This.” I said casually as I lifted the crossbow and shot him straight in the face.

The bolt slammed home with a meaty thwack, easily penetrating the iron face mask they all wore and he toppled backwards, dead. Without missing a beat, I reloaded the crossbow as If I didn’t have a care in the world.

“Would anyone else like to fill his shoes?” I asked. And yes I totally pinched that line from Galvatron. Fuck you, it’s a classic.

“You can’t just..” Said one of the lizards, before a crossbow bolt to the head shut him up permanently.

I gave them a calm, level stare as I slid another bolt into the mechanism. Everyone looked at each other, but none dared to speak up.

‘Intimidate. Establish dominance. Failing to achieve total authority now will mean your death.’

“You all had best get with the program. You can either work for me and prosper, or try to take my place and die. Those are your only options, so what will it be?”

One by one they all bowed.

“Good choice. Now that we’ve established who’s in charge here, It’s time to begin my master plan. Your previous leader was ambitious, but he was also an idiot. I plan to bring about some changes.”

One of the fish creatures raised a hand.

“Yes?” I asked casually.

“What kind of changes, sire?” he asked hesitantly, seeming unsure about the title.

“I will get to that in a moment. First I want to know who is in charge of the troops.”

As one, they all pointed to the dead storm creature.

“Of course he was.” I sighed. “Very well, I want his direct subordinates to stand over there.” I said, pointing at the wall.

“I will select a new general from amongst you later. Now, can anyone inform me about the state of our domain? What resources do we have in abundance, and which are scarce? How do our subjects feel about the current regime? Are there any glaring issues that need to be addressed immediately? Do not hold back any information, even if you believe it to be insignificant.”

This took a lot longer than I expected, as the meeting dragged on to its fifth hour, but the information was well worth the time. As it turned out, the Stormlands as this island was known, was rich in mineral ore and some gems, but the inhospitable environment made it a poor place for growing crops or trees. Our main export, what little of it we actually exported, mainly consisted of iron, and our greatest import was fresh produce and lumber. However our supply lines were currently plagued by piracy. The seas around these parts were dangerous and unpredictable, so the majority of transport happened via airship. The kingdom maintained a modest armada to protect its trade lanes. And its industry, what little of it existed, was mainly focused on ship construction, maintenance and mining. As for the people, they were living in harsh conditions, with food being in ever short supply.

“Alright, I’ve heard enough for now. Here’s what I want you to do. I want messengers and recruiters sent to every city, town and settlement on this island. I want them to recruit every engineer, scientist, miner, technician, blacksmith; any craftsman they can find, to come and work for me. Tell them they will be generously compensated for their time and skills. This work is voluntary, so if they refuse, do not harass them, do not threaten them. Now go make this happen.”

Several figures left to carry out the order. I turned to those that remained.

“Next, I want all the slaves from the mines to be rounded up and brought to the central courtyard.”

“Whatever for, sire?” One of the reptiles protested.

“I intend to give them a choice, and hopefully turn them into more productive workers.”

Within the hour all the slaves had been brought to the courtyard. I stood on the central steps, overlooking the crowd. There were maybe two-hundred in all. Most looked about themselves uncertainly.

“You are gathered here today, to make an important decision.” I began. My voice ringing out over the crowd. They now gave me their undivided attention. “The Storm King is dead, and his kingdom now belongs to ME. That means YOU, belong to me.”

Murmurs started rising from the crowd.

“However!” I called out, and the crowd went silent again. “I have no need for slaves. What I need, are skilled workers. Motivated workers. Loyal workers! Workers who wish to help me realise my plans. So this is my offer to you: Work for me, not as a slave, but as free people. You will be given housing, food, and honest pay for your work. If you have skills other than mining then those are welcome too. We need everything and everyone.”

An excited murmuring now went through them.

“My lord, aren’t you being too generous to this rabble?” Strife whispered.

“Rule number twenty of being a successful overlord, Strife. I will keep all my underlings well paid and give them good working conditions to avoid disgruntled workers being led by the hero into a rebellion.” I quietly told him.

“I… I see.”

I turned my attention back to the crowd.

“Should you feel these terms are not acceptable, or if you’d rather leave to return home, you will be given food and water for three days, as well as a small amount of coin for a room a the nearest inn. You are then free to leave. There will be no retaliation against those wanting to leave. You have my word.”

One of the foremen, a diamond dog if I remember correctly, approached the steps. Two of the storm beasts moved to block him, but I waved them off. “Let him speak.”

“How we know we can trust you? How we know your word is good?”

“You don’t.” I said flatly. “But that’s the risk you must take. What do you have to lose, mister ...?”

“Bones is this one’s name.”

“Well then, Bones, will you take a chance and work for me?”

He looked over his shoulder at some of the other dogs in the crowd.

“Can clan stay together?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Then, we dig for you. Diamond dogs is good at digging. And there is plenty of gems in stormlands.”

I shook his paw. “Welcome aboard, Bones.”

In the end, nearly three quarters of the slaves decided to stay. As per my promise, those wanting to leave were given food, water and a little money and sent on their way. The slave pens were turned into a temporary shelter until new houses could be constructed. Already the prepwork for the first foundations were under way.

“My liege, would you like me to send assassins out after the departing slaves to reclaim the money you gave them?” Asked Strife.

“Of course not. I gave them my word. Harming them now would gain me little and destroy my budding reputation.”

“I don’t understand, why waste money on useless scum that won’t work for you?”

“Because, Strife, they will spread the word that I am a man of some honor, and that I keep my word. As a villain I will inevitably come face to face with some do gooder heroes one day, who will seek to vanquish me. Having a reputation of being 'a fair man of his word' will make them far more likely to at least try to negotiate with me, rather than seeking to outright destroy me without a word. Such a thing is worth infinitely more than recovering a handful of pocket change.”

“I...understand, my liege.” he said, but I could tell he did not. For all his cunning, this creature was still a simpleton, only thinking of the short term gains, while I was playing the long game. I decided right then that I would eliminate him at the first sign of treachery, because I cannot afford backstabbers in my ranks. Hell I’d kill him now if I could, but I needed to cement my powerbase first.

The sun was already starting to dip low in the sky, nightfall would be upon us soon. I made my way inside the castle. It was strange to have the guards salute me whenever I passed them. Less than eight hours ago they would have happily beaten me to a pulp. I made my way up to the Storm King’s chambers, now my chambers.

I spent the next hour or so rummaging through the remaining documents. This guy had gathered a lot of wealth, but it was just sitting there, collecting dust. If I was going to get anywhere, I would need to start spending some of these ill gotten gains.

A knock on the door made me look up from the paperwork. The weird hedgehog thing from earlier came in.

“I’ve brought you some dinner oh great one.” He simpered as he presented a plate laden with bread, various fruits, a wedge of cheese and some smoked fish.

“My thanks. What is your name?”

The fact I asked for his name seemed to surprise him. “Uh, I’m Grubber, your excellency.”

“Grubber…” I repeated, letting the name roll off my tongue. “It suits you.”

“Uh, thanks?” he replied.

“Do we have any liquor, Grubber?”

“Uhm…” he hesitated, “I’m sure I can find some for you, Sire.”

“Please do, and get something for yourself while you are ad it.” I replied.

His eyes went wide and he bowed low. “At once, sire. At once.”

Grubber soon returned with a bottle of… I honestly had no idea what it was. All I knew was that it was strong and helped me to take the edge off. I couldn’t drink too much. Getting intoxicated creates an opportunity for your enemies to take you down, so sayeth the evil overlord’s list.

I spent some time stoking the fireplace. The nights here were cold and damp. I experienced enough of that during my stay in the slave pens, and I had no desire to repeat the experience. But there was a second reason for keeping the fire well lit. Assassins coming in through the chimney. Laugh at my paranoia if you must, but if it keeps me alive then I’ll be as paranoid as can fucking be. For that same reason I bolted the door, and blocked the handle with the spear from the weapons rack for good measure. That left the window. Failing to find any sort of rope, I ripped up the expensive curtains and used the strips of cloth to tie the window shut. They would have to break it to get in now.

Lastly I loaded the crossbow and placed it on the nightstand, pointed away from me, but within easy reach.

I resisted the temptation to pour myself another glass of spirits and climbed into the bed. Settling into the comfy warmth I felt my resolve start to crumble. And moments later I was weeping like a little kid as all the stress and tension of the last few days finally made itself be heard. I pulled the covers closer around myself as I curled up into a ball.

“I can do this. I can do this. I’m going to survive. I’m going to become stronger. I’ll show them all just who they are messing with. I’ll make it so that nobody will dare to mess with me ever again. I will make this empire my own, and then the world.”

Just as I finally got a grip and felt myself calming down, the image of the Storm King’s corpse clawed its way to the forefront of my mind.

“Fuck fucking fuck.”

Sleep did not come easy that night.