Stare straight forward and down. Don't look left. Don't look right.
It didn't help. In her peripheral vision, Cheerilee could see the smiling faces of the other children as she performed the walk of shame back to her bus seat.
"Hope you washed your hooves," said somepony—she didn't look to see who—and the bus broke out in peals of laughter.
"Ah, leave her alone," said somepony else. Cheerilee barely noticed. She was doing her best to tune out the world around her. After the longest ten seconds of her life, she finally sat down next to Vinyl Scratch and buried her face in her hooves.
Four taps to her shoulder later, Cheerilee glanced up at Vinyl. Although Cheerilee wasn't crying, she knew she must have looked terrible.
"You'll get through this," signed Vinyl Scratch, in Equestrian Hoof Language.
"No," whispered Cheerilee. There were still giggles all around her, and whispered conversations that her brain mercifully managed to block.
Vinyl stood up and stepped carefully around Cheerilee into the aisle, shoved her over to the window, and sat down in the aisle seat. Then she tapped Cheerilee on the shoulder and waited for a glance. "Okay. We all heard you, but it's not weird. All the foals do it now."
"Not on a long-distance bus ride where everypony you know can hear it," whispered Cheerilee. She kept her eyes fixed on her friend to be polite in case she spoke, but leaned back in her seat so she couldn't make eye contact with the ponies across the aisle.
"Why not sign? Then you won't have to whisper," signed Vinyl.
"I don't know what to sign," signed Cheerilee.
"Hay, she's telling Vinyl all the details and we don't get to hear!" shouted a colt sitting across the aisle, with his hooves at the sides of his mouth for maximum effect.
Seeing this in her peripheral vision, Vinyl abruptly stood up and took off her glasses. She first aimed her angry glare at the colt, then swept it across the remaining seats. It's a good thing Vinyl isn't a cockatrice, thought Cheerilee, as the entire bus quickly fell silent.
"S-sorry," said the colt. Vinyl sat down and put her glasses back on.
"You didn't have to do that for me," signed Cheerilee.
"It's fine," signed Vinyl. "Besides, this way I actually do get to learn the details."
"Not you too!" signed Cheerilee, gesticulating strongly.
"It's a joke," signed Vinyl, indicating a silly mood with her ear position. "But yes, I'm curious about why. Are you that hard up, or what?"
"I don't know. I don't know why I do anything, okay? My brain... it doesn't always recognize when I'm in a social situation," signed Cheerilee.
Vinyl made the gesture for 'rainbow'.
"We've been over this, Scratch," signed Cheerilee, making a record-scratching motion with a hoof for Vinyl's nickname. "I don't think I'm on the autism spectrum. I like engaging ponies. I'm just permanently clueless about how other ponies perceive me. It didn't even occur to me that somepony might be listening."
Vinyl shook her head. "Permanently? No. You've made a lot of progress."
Cheerilee snorted. "Not enough," she signed.
"You're still a foal," countered Vinyl.
"They're all going to think I'm a slut or something." Cheerilee winced at the thought.
"Are you?" asked Vinyl.
Cheerilee's eyes widened. "What? No!" she signed.
"Well, then they'll be disappointed." Vinyl finished the sentence with a shrug of her shoulders.
Cheerilee sighed and closed her eyes. She pretended to nap for the rest of the trip.
"Here we are," said the teacher, and everypony disembarked from the bus. They stood in front of a rectangular artificial pond abutting the Manehattan General Library.
"We travel all the way to Manehattan and our first stop is a library?" said Carrot Cake. The teen colt rolled his eyes.
"The Manehattan General Library is famous across Equestria. It's enormous! You'll find something that interests you," said the teacher. "And we're only here for an hour, anyway."
A series of fountains hidden in the pond shot upward in an aquatic display.
"Hay, Cheerilee—remind you of anything?" said Lucky Clover. Several students laughed.
Something inside Cheerilee snapped. She didn't remember swinging her hoof, but she did remember being pulled back in the nick of time. It's a good thing Vinyl has lightning-quick reflexes, thought Cheerilee. Lucky Clover lay sprawled out on the concrete, having barely dodged the pulled kick.
"What in Equestria?" shouted the teacher, as he turned around just in time to see the fall. "Did somepony just hit you?"
"No, it's nothing," lied Lucky, scrambling to his hooves.
"Vinyl, why are you holding your friend?" the teacher asked slowly, using exaggerated lip movements.
Vinyl Scratch released Cheerilee. "I'm not deaf! I'm mute," she signed back with just as much exaggeration, frowning. "Also, deaf ponies aren't stupid."
"Oh, right. I'm sorry," said the teacher. "But can you tell me what happened?"
She signed rapidly to the teacher as Cheerilee watched. "Lucky was teasing her about something embarrassing that happened on the bus."
"I can't read EHL that quickly," admitted the teacher. "Cheerilee, can you translate?"
"Um, sure. She said... it was an accident," said Cheerilee.
With shock written across her muzzle, Vinyl turned and looked directly at Cheerilee. Then she frowned hard. Her glasses were on, but Cheerilee could still feel the icy stare.
"Vinyl, is that what you said?" asked the teacher, a dubious look on his face.
Vinyl paused for a moment, then nodded her head.
"Alright then. Let's get moving," he concluded, and the herd of schoolfoals marched toward the library entrance.
The biggest problem with Equestrian Hoof Language is you can't say anything while you're walking, Cheerilee realized. You can use your ears, but those only convey mood and modality. Even so, she didn't need to know EHL to interpret Vinyl's ears. They were pinned tightly back against her mane in anger.
Cheerilee wanted to apologize right away, but she had no opportunity. Vinyl kept a brisk pace at the front of the herd so she wouldn't have to look back at her. This short walk to the library felt almost as bad as the walk to her seat had.
Once the students entered the library, Vinyl immediately headed for the music section. Cheerilee followed her friend for a minute at a brisk trot. Eventually, Vinyl stopped walking and turned to face her. She had a nasty scowl on her muzzle, but even the glasses couldn't hide the fact that she was hurting inside.
"I'm sorry. That was wrong," signed Cheerilee.
"Wrong? You stole my voice. After I defended you!" signed Vinyl, with high-energy movements. Her ears slipped from pinned to drooping. She was trying not to cry.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," said Cheerilee, switching to voice. Long ago she'd discovered that the smartest way to speak bilingually is for each speaker to use the language they're best at. It's much easier to interpret a language than produce it correctly, after all. Ponies tend not to do it because there's an unspoken social contract that you should communicate in the same way, but Cheerilee had a way of seeing past those kind of mental stumbling blocks.
Vinyl took a deep breath before signing. "Eventually I will forgive you, because you're in a bad place. But don't ever do that to me again."
"Never. I promise. Never again," said Cheerilee, shaking her head. "Dammit. It's not like it matters, anyway. I can't imagine living past this moment."
Vinyl Scratch quickly pulled a surprised friend into a hug. After breaking the embrace, Vinyl signed, "Don't you dare. The world needs you."
"Equestria needs me? As if! Even if I hadn't just embarrassed myself to death, I don't have a future ahead of me, Scratch," whispered Cheerilee. "I mean, you have everything together. Your music career is already up and running, despite the fact we're still foals in school—and you even have an awesome stage name: DJ PON-3! Meanwhile, I don't even know what my cutie mark means. What kind of pony doesn't understand her cutie mark? I used to think the smiling flowers meant I'd be a gardener or something, but I'm terrible at horticulture. In addition to everything else that's wrong with me, I'm a sorry excuse for an earth pony."
Cheerilee's friend waited patiently for her to finish venting, then lifted her chin with a hoof to grab her attention before signing, "I remember you earned your cutie mark the morning after your big presentation. You're really smart, and you're excellent at communicating. Those smiling flowers might represent ponies. Maybe you're meant to help other ponies grow through speaking?"
Cheerilee switched to signing, the compliment somehow making her feel even more self-conscious than before. "That's nonsense. I'm a total mess around other ponies. I mean, look what happened today!"
"Exactly. You know what other ponies have been through because you've been through it all yourself. You've been bullied and teased all through school. Don't you want those experiences to mean something?" signed Vinyl. "Think hard. After all you've been through, if you had one wish, what would it be?"
For a long moment, Cheerilee paused in thought. "I wish I could keep ponies from suffering the way I'm suffering right now," she signed.
Vinyl smiled. "If anypony can find a way to make that dream happen, you can. I know you, Cheer," she signed, although the actual sign she used was 'happy', her nickname for Cheerilee.
As the students piled back onto the bus, Cheerilee felt a spring in her step. Something about that conversation with Vinyl made her feel remarkable. Did she really have a destiny to help others? This should be the worst day of my life, she thought, but somehow it isn't.
After she sat down in her seat, Cheerilee heard a filly behind her say, "It's probably flying everywhere as she makes those signs! I'll bet Vinyl likes it, I hear she's into fillies."
This time, Cheerilee was the one to stand and look directly into the other pony's eyes—with disturbing intensity. The mouthy filly looked horrified to be confronted.
"Don't worry," said Cheerilee, clearly and crisply. "I washed my hooves. Do you like thinking about it as much as you make it sound?"
"Ooooooooooh," said several of the other foals. A few giggled.
Cheerilee recognized the look of mortification in the eyes of the other filly. I don't need to feel that way anymore, she realized. Being confident in yourself is all it takes.
She sat back down in her seat. Vinyl was smiling. "I'm proud of you," she signed.
"Thanks. I couldn't have done it without you," Cheerilee signed back, adding a hoof bump for good measure. "I never thought I'd be the one teaching a bully a lesson."
"I'll bet it's not the last time either," signed Vinyl Scratch, and then she lifted her glasses and winked.
