Chapters It's so hard being the only pony ever, being rejected by countless guys, and being denied something called ‘friendship’.
She quietly slid the hood over her head, the bus driver eyeing her curiously. She kept to herself and delved even deeper into her hoodie. She held a ticket with a hoof, as she had barely any knowledge of magic; she knew she had it, but she had never been able to better her skills very much. It was pointless anyhow. Everyone stared at her oddly when she dared to levitate something.
The bus driver had taken the ticket. As she walked slowly among the rows of seats, the tension in the air was obvious. Never had she felt so uncomfortable - at least in her old town some people got used to the sight. Now, however, new eyes roamed over her. Whispers filled the bus. The last empty seat in the back called to her.
Tia rushed over to the seat and instantly sat herself down in it. A soft exhale escaped from in between the lips of the pure white pony; she felt hot in the hoodie she so loved. Finally, she lowered the brown hood, allowing herself some relief and showing off her head to the bus’ passengers. She could feel everyone's eyes burning into her, a huff escaping her at the attention. She didn't say anything about the stares - not anymore.
The only comfort she had, and her only friend, was the iPod she held carefully. The tangled earbuds white as her fur that she had had for so long made their way into her ears, and as usual she played her favorite songs. She felt the tension in her shoulders gently evaporate, her bright eyes watching the rain falling outside the bus. It enticed her and calmed her greatly.
She felt her eyes grow weak, and decided her mind could occupy her just fine by itself as she gave them a rest. The bus finally jerked forward, the old life she had grown up in gone just like that. Memories flooded her, and Celestia's mind spiraled. The old park, where a lonely little pure white filly played ball and read by herself. She had once had the softest, silkiest pink hair. She had a few friends when she was younger; no - acquaintances was a better word.
The little girls were interested in her - a talking pony was something new. Eventually, though, as her later, teenage years hit her, she became an outcast. She always either ignored or receiving funny looks, and, soon enough, that began to mean very little to her. Her own solitude evolved into one of her best friends, and she had soon accepted she might very well never fit in. How could she? She was a talking pony and the world had gifted her with a human’s consciousness and intelligence.
That fact didn't help. It never did. She didn't whine about it as she once did, as she had accepted her fate. Nobody wanted to be her friend, all her crushes turned her down, and people certainly treated her differently. If they didn't seem shocked or repulsed, they seemed slightly curious. At first she had gladly fed their curiosity, but soon enough it became clear to her that they didn't want to know her , they only wanted to know why a pony was among them.
It was odd. She barely had a mom or dad to miss. Each day spent with humans who didn't want her, treating her like she was merely some sort of farm animal. Not someone who could talk like you and think like you - either way, she thought that even animals shouldn't be treated as she had been. Then it got worse .
She was at her window, like any other normal day. The owls came to make their presence known, and the sun had set. She was laying in her sleeping bag, which she had laid on her current foster parent's floor. The memory was so fuzzy . She frowned deeply at the attempt to fully remember. She merely recalled wishing for the sun to come so that all her nightmares would vanish. Clearly, her wish had been granted as her horn glowed brightly. Not just any glow she had seen before - it was the most incredible, blinding light.
Minor pains wormed their way through her horn, and before she knew it the sun was being controlled at her will. It had raised many hours before it was meant to. She had defied the possibilities. There was much public outcry. She remembered her flank going from blank and average to suddenly being decorated with a beautifully artistic interpretation of the sun.
She couldn't remember much from there, though she did recall her foster parents scolding her. She hadn't even known what had happened, doing it purely through instinct. She had become even more of an outcast ever since. The fact that only weeks later she would form her first crush made things infinitely worse. A simpler time.
Freshman year. The classes were boring, and she had never found a human very appealing - she considered herself asexual. Then he came along in all his glory. Brad Huntzinger. It was an unusual feeling; foolish. He was a rather stereotypical highschooler - like you'd see in movies. Slicked back blonde hair, blue eyes, and a firm build. However, she hadn’t formed the crush based on looks. She would soon discover that it was intelligence she found an attractive quality.
It was because they had worked together on a project. It was a simple one, but he was great at helping, and he was so much more intelligent than she could have ever imagined. Not only that, he treated her as if she were - normal . It had her heart pounding and a warmth seeping into the corners of her eyes. She remembered the feeling of blood rushing to her cheeks, and soon enough she put some extra care into her coat and silky pink mane.
It was, again, fuzzy - she had far from the best memory, especially when music was whispering into her ears and rain was pouring down. However, she could remember bits and pieces; she could vividly recall the waves of laughter and taunts thrown at her in front of everyone in the school, the hot tears staining her white coat. It wasn't a pretty sight. It was the first time her heart had genuinely been snapped in half.
She couldn't expect better out of teenage boys anyhow. She wasn't a true girl someone desired. She didn't have the look of a human. Yet she was among them, she spoke and thought like them, she adopted their ways of speech, she felt like one. She grew up with them, she attended their schools, but she looked different. Nobody wants a horse for God's sake! However - maybe she wasn't meant for love. She wouldn't seek out a horse to date, what with all of them having intelligence that wandered far from human.
She wished to be among fellow ponies. Nobody would actually miss her. Celestia wouldn't mind humans if they treated her as an equal, but they didn’t. Really, she wanted a boyfriend - someone to hold at night, someone to love her. She wanted those teenage flings, she wanted someone to read with her, she wanted a best friend she could call and talk to for hours. She wanted what they all had.
Truth be told, she genuinely had accepted that she may never receive those things, even though her wishes and wants made it seem like she was still in denial over it. She wouldn't be picky, even if somebody just wanted to be her friend or lover because she was a pony - no, she wouldn’t go that far. That would make her feel odd . She'd feel used . She just wanted someone to want her for her, love her for her. Those thoughts plagued her, and she hoped that one day that would happen.
She didn't want to dwell on it anymore. She had accepted it.
Her fantasy consisted of basic thrill-seeking with someone; a rollercoaster, underwater diving, and other trivial things. Then? Simply going home to read books. That was it. They didn't need to be her lover. Not even her best friend. A friend would be enough to satisfy her.
The bus continued to drive in the rain, her heart pounding against her chest as she spiralled further into these thoughts. She was interrupted suddenly, saved from drowning, and slowly turned at a child's voice. "Mommy, it's a pony! Can I pet it?" She let being called 'it' slide and tilted her head to the side, curious. The mother was about to deny the request, but the child was already there, running her fingers through the pony's beautiful flowing mane. Celestia let the corners of her lips turn upward into a faint smile. "You're pretty."
"So are you," Celestia whispered, smiling. The child stared in awe at her speaking. Before the child could continue, however, the mother pulled her away, unsurprisingly scared of her. Celestia lowered her eyes, though gradually found herself staring into the window again. The blissful ignorance of a child was amazing, unaware of the fear of the unknown that came with age. She missed that luxury. She'd do anything for it again.
To be unaware she was that different.
Author's Note
uh, just a little bit of testing! i don't really ever write these kinds of stories? but i guess i could give it a try, who knows, maybe people will like it, maybe nobody will. we'll see.
Celestia took in a deep breath, she stretched her limbs. She couldn't help but take a silent moment to observe the window to the outside, the birds chirped and children played. At the moment, she was being crammed into a small apartment. It wasn't that nice, but it was better than nothing. It was better than being in a foster home.
She was helping rent this out, what was her name? Oh right, Amanda. She was a tall woman, abnormally tall actually; she had a nice shade of aburn hued locks and she always wore anything that'd attract attention. She was nice as people go, especially since Celestia didn't complain about the loud parties she hosted and cleaned the house.
Why would she complain? Now, it's not like she was a saint, she just had a way of hiding her distaste, though sometimes Tia would catch her front slip.
"Uh-huh, okay, whatever you say horse."
That was just an hour ago when Celestia had insisted she helped clean the apartment. Celestia was in her final year of high school and she promised a bright future for herself. She was used to that tone, so obviously, the mare brushed it off like it was just another comment.
"What am I supposed to do?" Celestia flattened an ear in curiosity, but her tone showed some hesitance and disgust. Amanda grabbed her keys tightly, she looked displeased at Celestia's newfound confidence to even question her.
"Clean the house." Amanda snapped back bitterly, barely looking Celestia in the eyes. "While you're at it, maybe pluck those wings of yours, huh?"
Celestia rolled her eyes. After a long break of silence, she finally managed to say something, "I have an interview to go to. I'm sorry, I usually do not care but this is important to me Amanda!"
"A little prissy horse isn't going to keep me from--"
Celestia cut her off, "I don't mean to be rude, not at all, but this interview is more important than cleaning the house. I'll clean it when I get back." She stood and rushed to grab her clothes, Amanda was NOT having it.
"... Okay, but my boyfriend will be here soon! It's not my fault you need to work two part-time jobs just to make it through, honey."
"... If you need such a clean house to knock him up and stay up all night watching Shark Tank while getting high, then be my guest and clean it yourself. I don't mind doing it, but if it's so urgent you can do it yourself. I pay most of the rent when you said it would be even, again, I don't care but all I'm asking is don't give me attitude like that when I'm trying!"
Celestia took in a sharp breath, she didn't want to argue, it was pointless. She wouldn't go, fine. She would clean. Amanda gave Celestia a smug grin when she saw her sitting down and putting the outfit she prepared for the interview aside. It wouldn't be long until this would be over.
Hang in there.
Soon enough, Celestia would be washing dishes and keeping to herself for the most part. She let the soft music flow from the radio and calm the nerves she felt throughout the entire day. It would be over soon, keep holding on. She swore she'd find her place, there's somewhere for everyone.
Again she tried to prevent it, but her mind wandered.
Who are my parents?
If I'm just a smart horse, then why do I have a horn and wings?
Will I ever be able to learn why life is like this? Where did I come from?
Sometimes, life didn't have answers for that. She sighed carefully, for once instead of moving it with her hooves, her horn sparked and a photograph floated to her. It was a simple photograph, but one nonetheless.
She recalled some of her earliest memories. She was short, she remembered not being like the other girls she played with. Her rosy pink mane was the envy of most girls at that age, they always told her how soft it was. She loved it all, it was easier.
And now? We're all grown up.
Mom and dad taught you that the only good people in the world are the ones who look like you.
She took in a deep breath, her eyes fluttered open as she silently put the photo aside, why cry and whine? Why try to remember yesterday and not today? Why worry about tomorrow?
Was there even a point?
She didn't know. That's why after some of the dishes had been washed, she was in her car. The one time she regularly used magic was to drive, she'd turn the wheel with her magic instead of her hooves, just for safety measures. Amanda let her use the car to buy groceries sometimes, though Amanda ended up not driving but instead getting on a motorcycle with her boyfriend and driving to god knows where, soon enough to be back and lecture her if one single spot of dirt was out of place.
She didn't care, all she needed was the breeze in her mane and the songs on the radio. Is that not what we all need? Six dollars in your pocket, and a small drive.
It was dark and cloudy out, the streets were empty and it was peaceful for once. No odd stares. It was a local and small area, not as small as her home town, but still relatively small and the stops were distances apart. That's why she lit up when she saw a gas station dimly lit in the light.
"..."
She slowly turned the wheel, only to find the gas station she despised and promised not to go to. Though, some Twizzlers and a Sprite wouldn't hurt. Celestia sighed, pulling into the lane silently.
The only people there at this time at night were a hoard of teenagers smoking pot and doing the usual things teens in this town regularly did, it wasn't that ideal of course. She wasn't ever one to participate, especially since she never had the friends to do so. Was that a good thing?
There was nothing wrong with living a little, doing dumb things can make memories, but at the same time, it could easily hurt her. She tried to walk to the gas station door, but she had to hold back a gag when she overheard some teens sweet-talking one another.
It wasn't the usual 'sweet-talking', it was rather repulsive. She'd prefer not to describe.
She walked the gas station, looking at the small snacks, and felt herself eyeing the Slim Jims. She'd get those and a Sprite, there we go! Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.
Tia approached the counter expectantly, but her eyes widened momentarily when a jerk cut her off and made her lose her balance. She tried not to topple down, it would be embarrassing if she did so, but before she could brace for impact... something caught her.
It was a boy, not just any boy, the infamous man Amanda went on about. Caleb, right. She described him as a dreamy boy that swept her off her feet in the past. Celestia only saw him as a know-it-all and perhaps a drug dealer to all the teens in town.
Though, her eyes caught his hand still pulling her up back up. She was grateful, but he gave her a look she didn't appreciate. "... So you're the lady everyone has been talkin' about, huh? I thought unicorns were a myth, my little sister would love you." Celestia just gave a quiet and polite 'thank you', but she moved around him and tried to pay for her stuff.
"... Aww, sweetheart, don't be like that! I just saved a damsel in distress, and I don't even get a little peck? Jeez, horses are snobby." The boy had a mocking laugh she did NOT like. It only took a moment for some of the others in the store to laugh with him.
A friend of his approached and said something that livened the laughter even more, "Caleb, I didn't know you were into horses. That's Beastiality, I thought you knew!" Bruce chuckled, Caleb shoved him quietly with another low laugh.
Celestia, on the other hand, had her little adventure here long enough. She was on her way out, but Caleb didn't like that. "...Look, I've got places to be. And by the way, I'm not an animal." She shook her head, but Caleb wasn't complying, he still blocked her exit.
"Ooo, feisty." He drew back another laugh.
"... Can you please let me go, sir?" The pony kept trying to get around him, and it was obvious the other entrance was being blocked by his little minions. Amanda would die for this attention, but Celestia? She wasn't having it. He didn't seem like a good guy at all, just bad news.
She knew all humans weren't bad, but why did all the ones she encountered the terrible people? You know the ones, and all the good and respectful people were hiding somewhere, probably with the other amazing humans. She wouldn't say she belonged with the good-hearted people of the world, she wasn't too great.
Though, it would be nice for one of them to be somewhere.
"No need for sir, doll... You can call me Caleb."
Her rage began to boil, it was prepared to blow, but she repressed it as much as she could. She finally managed to get around him.
It wasn't easy, but her silence obviously made him bored, just don't play his games. She saw the grin on his face as she left, and as much as she loved being polite and tolerating these things, she wanted to punch that look off his face.
"..." It wasn't too long until she reached the car, it was a sweet relief she craved. Just... one thing felt off...
A loud scream made her pause and almost jump ten feet in the air, it was a high-pitched scream. She could've driven off, but automatic worry and guilt plagued her mind. It could be some crazy teen, but what if --
"... LET GO OF ME!" A girl, barely younger than Celestia seemingly, was crying at the grip of Caleb. "... It's over, Caleb! I'm done, let me go." She was crying and screaming, now that would've been a perfect moment to ditch but...
"Hey, let her go!" Both of them paused to see Celestia standing defensively. Eventually, when the two processed the situation... the girl continued to struggle from Caleb's grip, and well Caleb himself pulled out a gun and pointed it at her. Like that, time froze.
"...Or what? "
She didn't know how, or why but she persisted with a brave look even though her heart pounded a million times a second because her life was on the line.
That didn't matter.
Without thinking, her horn sparked and blasted Caleb down. "Wait--..." What did she just do? She's never used her magic in such a manner, she didn't even know she could! Now, the girl was dashing off in a different direction. She wanted to chase her and make sure she was okay...but one person had her attention.
He stood bravely and stared at the blood that dripped from his mouth. He gave an almost surprised but bitter look to Tia.
"Wait, I'm sorry!--... " Why did she feel guilty? Well, she always had a tendency to apologize to everyone for the littlest things. But Caleb's eyes filled with rage and hate.
His hands grabbed onto her sparkly mane which made her squeak and began to attempt to pull away, she almost could, but his grip re-fastened.
"Oh, you better be sorry. I'll make you even sorrier."
Author's Note
i don't usually write stuff like this so take it with a grain of salt. i don't like caleb either, or if you do somehow like him then cool, just earth isn't rainbows and puppies so yeah
It could be tomorrow, why hold onto sorrow? Simply enough, nobody understood, nobody could hold onto her thoughts long enough.
If only someone, human or pony, could look her in the eyes. But how could they?
Especially when she's being made a fool of. She could not get lost in thought, no, her mane was being pulled. Celestia was being yanked to a wall by the man she despised. The infamous Caleb.
She tried to keep her calm and simply just pull away, walk away, something! Anything! Someone, please! Please.
"Aghh!--" Her voice cracked and croaked, her heartbeat was speeding rapidly, yet she held onto her hope she could just run. Maybe if she screamed loud enough someone would just pull her away. Today wasn't the day to smile and wave like a prissy princess and take it.
No, it was not.
The scratches on her pretty white face showed Caleb's boiling anger.
"C'mon, gonna' fight back? I knew it, you're all bark and no bite. You're a lil' princess who expects to be treated a certain way, huh? Princess Tia." She felt mocked and violated. "Okay, fine, I might just let the princess go..." She didn't like that nickname, 'princess', it made her feel weak even though she considered herself rather strong.
"... Let me go then, and my name is Celestia you blind swine." Celestia snapped back, she hated using rude language, but was this a moment to be smart and cater to his ego? She taught herself to. She taught herself to wear a smile. But now?
She wouldn't let this cocky-egotistical man have his way.
"Only if you beg, and be nice." Caleb's tone of voice practically made rage boil within Celestia. Her whole persona of the perfect little pony had slipped and regretfully, anger won her over.
"Sure Caleb, I'll beg." Suddenly a laugh let out. Before she knew it, she tracked his facial features, and soon enough her blood was rushing. Celestia took the moment when his face contorted in surprise, his facial features showing bewilderment.
Soon enough -- her forelegs lifted from their resting state and gave him a hard kick in a sensitive area of his. There were upsides to being a pony, a sharp kick that most couldn't manage was one of the upsides. She dwelled in her glory when he crunched down to the ground in pain.
"Ha!--..." She began to walk in triumph to her automobile. That's when his cries of pain brought her to a halt. It was a slight wailing, and as much as she loved overpowering him the morals she bestowed upon herself made guilt course through her.
"...Wait," Her voice was almost a whimper, his eyes viciously darted up to her. His eyes ran all over her white coat up to her bright and eyes that windowed guilt, he took note her flowing mane was a knotty mess now, a sparkling and still rather elegant knotted disaster.
"... You've already made your fucking point clear!" His voice dripped with malicious intent, his body posture showed that he was trying to hide his still numbing pain. "I'm out," He finally said after a silent moment.
"I'm sorry ..."
Why was SHE sorry? He should be the sorry one! Why can't she be a fighter? She certainly was, but only for others, but when it came to defending herself and beholding pain on others she found herself at a nervous loss.
He paused.
"You better be."
"Where the HELL have you been?" Celestia's eyes were puffy, had she been crying? "... Celestia?" Amanda raised an eyebrow.
"Forget about it, I'll g-get the house clean tomorrow, I promise Amanda. I'm so sorry," Celestia's said with a weak voice, she was practically trembling, she could barely look at herself in the mirror.
Amanda found herself hiding in her room, away from the drama scene out there.
Why did Celestia finally let them get to her?
It's because things build-up, you know. Being strong for everyone but yourself doesn't always pay off. She felt sorry for not being able to laugh much, she wanted to party, and love, be an air-headed teen who had fun.
It wasn't too late, but why did it feel too late?
Maybe if she was born somewhere else, she could be happy. She could wake up in the morning holding someone who wasn't a pillow, why couldn't she be content? Was it her fault? Would someone ever see her as more?
If so, where are you? I'd do anything for you.
That was her only thought, she plopped on the couch, and pulled the pillow close. It felt like the most comforting thing in the entire world.
"It'll be okay, it'll be okay ."
"Stop crying, you have to be strong."
"I want to go home!"
But she was home. She was at home on her couch crying like a loser. Where else could she go? Nowhere else put a roof over her head. She let the TV turn on, but instead of watching, she fantasized.
A man, a human or pony, would dance with her and help her study. He could be whoever, looks didn't matter to her, he just had to care about who she was and have a good heart. Was that cliche? Of course. It so happens she was never too picky, even before she knew she was outcasted.
A lovely family she could support and dream for, a sister younger than Celestia would be adorable too. She would be her backbone and wing woman. That'd be rather fun.
She would love to be a leader, of anything really, she was always good at debating and leading clubs in Middle to High School, it was natural for her, despite her leadership skills it didn't gain her many friends.
That's okay.
It was always okay.
She's alive, right? What more could someone ask for? Some people had it worst, what are your problems? Why whine? Her own mind was her venting area, she hoped she wouldn't break down over it again. Though she still felt the hot stains of tears stroll down her cheek.
She did not know why she was crying, it just felt right. In all her fantasies, only one thing was most important.
Someone, anyone whether it be platonic or romantic, pony or human just to tell her...
"I love you."
Just this time she wouldn't wake up.
Author's Note
sorry for the short chapter, i'm going on vacation to finish the rest of summer vacation there! hope ya don't mind
