The Top Student
Erasing Miss Perfect
Load Full StoryTwilight raised her hand. She wasn’t the only one to, nor was hers the highest in the air. Heck, she hadn’t even been first. But of course Ms. Celestia called on her anyway.
“Yes, Twilight?”
She stood, and the other two raised hands sank, seething. Sunset Shimmer watched the girl right in front of her rise, managing to burn holes in the back of her head with an icy glare. Two rows over, Starlight Glimmer’s fingers curled on their way down. Her jaw practically curled too with how tight she clenched it.
“The spell requires a second matrix before transfiguration can occur,” Twilight said, answering the question perfectly. As always. Despite Starlight and Sunset knowing it too. As always.
But their glowering looks were outshone by Celestia’s beaming face. “Why that’s absolutely correct! As expected of you, of course.”
Twilight gave a knowing smile as she sat back down. Of course she did. When did she not?
Sunset felt ready to burst into flames. She couldn’t even see the stupid look on Twilight’s face, but she knew it was there. Felt it there. Starlight, with a better view, only felt a greater rage upon seeing it. She almost let her magic get away from her and ignite her desk then and there.
Since freshman year Canterlot Academy had been an endless race for second place. Because the top student, el numero uno, was always Twilight freaking Sparkle. When she wasn’t busy browning her nose for the teachers she had it buried in books. Yet no matter how hard Sunset and Starlight tried to compete they always fell short. By miles.
Before her rear could hit the seat, Twilight suddenly froze. Jerking back up her hand shot into the air. “Um, Ms. Celestia, may I please be excused?”
“Yes, of course.” Back turned, their teacher had already returned to the chalkboard. She waved Twilight off to the bathroom casually, a far kinder response than when anyone else asked. A normal student would find Ms. Celestia read to bite their head off if they tried to leave mid-lecture. But then, what was normal about precious little Twilight?
Sunset snapped her pencil in two, watching that degenerate teachers pet scuttle for the door. Her eyes locked with Starlight’s across the room and a clear thought jumped between gazes.
We have to do something about her.
“Grrrr!” Sunset slammed her hands down on the table. Her lunch bounced from the force, trading tray for air. “Damn her! Damn her, damn her, damn her!”
“Why that’s absolutely correct!” Starlight mocked their teacher from across the table. Her nasally approximation wasn’t exactly good, but it was spot on as far as they were concerned. “As expected of you, of course.”
“Of course,” Sunset reiterated, matching Starlight’s disgusted face. Next to her, their only lunch partner rolled her eyes.
“Hmmph. The Grrreat, and Powerful Trrrrixie would like just one lunch hour without your incessant griping.” She twirled a nail file in her hand, before returning it to a half-finished index finger.
“Hey, we listen to your whining all the time,” Starlight retorted. “At least return the favor now and again.”
“Favor? Hah!” With another twirl the file now pointed at Starlight. “You have to privilege of listening to Trixie’s fabulous tirades. And don’t you forget it.”
“Ugh.” Sunet wanted to die. Trixie Lulamoon, about as far away from the number one spot at Canterlot Academy of Magic as one could get, yet she had her own reasons for hating the Sparkle as much as them. Rather than try and prove her superiority through brains, she opted for brawns. She’d challenged Twilight to at least one hundred magic duels since entering the Academy and lost them all. Bitterly.
But just because they shared a mutual foe did not make hanging out with her any less of a drain. The enemy of my enemy is my… annoying tag-along friend. Something to that effect.
“We are doing something about her, right?” Starlight asked, referring back to their silent solidarity in class.
“Absolutely.” Sunset leaned in. “She needs to be taken down a peg.”
Starlight nodded. “Or two.”
“Or twenty,” Trixie chimed in.
“So you’re helping us?” Starlight asked.
A blue hand reached across the cafeteria table and patted Starlight’s head. “Of course the Great and Powerful Trixie shall assist you. Three heads are better than two, after all.”
Sunset barely contained an eye roll. With a head like yours we’re probably better on our own. She held that quip in at least, opting instead to begin planning.
Careening her head around, she caught sight of Twilight on the far side of the cafeteria. Her little lackeys all surrounded her, hanging on every word as she read from a textbook. They ‘ooh’ed and ‘aww’ed as Miss Perfect mimicked the magical hand signs inside just to show off. Look at her, is she too good to eat or something?
With absolutely no self-awareness, Sunset reached into her book bag and withdrew her latest find from the library. A potion maker’s guidebook. It quickly took the place of her lunch tray.
“Here’s what I’m thinking,” she told the table, letting the book spill open to a dog-eared page. She let the words do the talking for her.
“Brainless Bimbo?” Starlight asked, reading the title. Her eyes only needed to scan a paragraph lower before a smile dominated her confused face. “O-ho-ho that’s perfect!”
“Right?” Sunset smirked as Trixie picked up the book for herself. “Found it in the restricted section. I doubt even Ms. Zecora could whip up a quick fix for this one. Which means our little teacher’s pet would have the brain power of an infant for a solid week.”
Starlight’s smile grew just a little more evil. Midterms were a month out, and given the time it would take to brew this particular concoction, they could time it just right and knock Twilight off of her number one pedestal for good.
Her villainous grin was matched by Sunset; the two were on the same wavelength for this one.
Meanwhile, Trixie, casually flipping through the potion’s manual, tutted loudly. When she successfully gain the table’s attention, she cleared her throat. “It’s a start alright.”
“A start?” Sunset snorted. “You think you can do better?”
“Trixie knows she can.” Her file tapped a new page on the book, but she held it away from prying eyes. For now. “Tell Trixie, what have you noticed about Twilight lately?”
“She’s a show-off?” Starlight guessed.
“A prick!” Sunset anted up.
“A kiss-up!”
“Oh, and a teacher’s pet.”
“Just the worst, basically.”
“The absolute worst.”
Trixie pressed her lips together, brow creasing in annoyance. “Yes, yes, all those things and more. But!” she snapped, commanding the table once more. “She also has a weak bladder!”
Starlight and Sunset shared a blink.
Trixie fired back with an exasperated gaping jaw. “Have you two brainiac’s seriously not noticed?” Two heads shook. One Trixie groaned. “She’s always darting off to the bathroom lately. She went three times during Ms. Luna’s astronomy class yesterday. Three times! For a one hour lecture no less.”
Starlight and sunset shared a look.
“Come to think of it…”
“She does excuse herself a lot lately.”
“And she’s always allowed to go.”
“Precisely!” Trixie finally revealed her freshly stumbled upon page. “So Trixie proposes making that problem a little… worse.”
Her partners in crime stared at the second potion. Understanding dawned on their faces. Then abject horror. And then respect.
“That. Is. Cruel!” Sunset practically squealed.
Starlight moved in to read more closely, eyes growing wide as they darted across the page. “Trixie… I think I’m in love with you.”
“Oooh,” Trixie smiled wryly. “You should think more often, Starlight.” She wiggled her fingers, letting sparks of magic fly out teasingly.
Sunset feigned a gag. What little respect she’d mustered was gone. “Okay you two, stop flirting. If we’re going to do this we need to start soon. Like, today.”
“Right.” Starlight nodded. “I’ll get the Poison Joke.”
“Trixie knows where she can buy Baby’s Breath.”
“I’ll hunt down the Manticore bladder and Star Spider silk.” Sunset allowed herself a proud smile. “I know where Ms. Zecora keeps the good stuff.” She leaned over the table, and the other two followed her lead. “Girls… it’s time to crack an Egghead.”
…
“Trixie think’s that’s a terrible one-liner.”
“Shut up!”
“Shut up!” Moon Dancer’s eyes were sparkling. “Ms. Luna agreed to let you use the observatory after exams are over?”
“Yes she did!” Twilight puffed out her chest, proudly tugging on the straps of her book bag. “I just needed to flex my knowledge of lunar orbiting calculations and she was like putty in my hands.”
“You’re amazing!” Moon Dancer hugged at textbook tightly against her chest. She lost ground and had to dart to keep up with Twilight. “Can… Can you take me stargazing with you?”
“Of course!” Moon Dancer perked up. “We’ll have to tell the other girls too. I’m sure Minuette is dying to see the Pearly Whites Nebula up close. And Twinkleshine would kill me if she didn’t get a chance to play around with a focusing crystal on a telescope that big.” Moon Dancer deflated a little.
“Oh… well, that should still be fun!” she mustered.
“Still be—?” A sharp pang from her hips interrupted Twilight’s question. “U-Uh… hang on Moonie, I need to stop by the restroom real quick.” She changed course, aiming for the nearest lavatory.
“Oh, should I—?” Moon Dancer started to follow.
“I’ll be fine!” Twilight cut her off. She’d never enjoyed the weird girl ritual of grouping up to go to the bathroom. I’ll pee in private, thank you very much. “I’ll see you tonight to study for our Magic Theory final.” She bet on a reminder of tomorrow’s test would be enough to send Moon Dancer spiraling towards the library to study.
She bet correctly.
“Oh, okay.” Moon Dancer watched Twilight shuffle down a different hallway. She called out a quick, “see you at the library!” while Twilight was still in earshot.
Waving good-bye, Twilight doubled her speed when another pang rocked her bladder. She should not have accepted that coffee Sunset had offered her this morning. But it was too late for regrets, she’d just have to relieve herself. Another pang, and she added a desperate “soon” onto that.
She pushed past students in mid-class change until the west wing’s bathroom finally came into view. Her tense body started to relax a little, but not too much. She was too close to have an accident now.
“Excuse me!” she cried, not paying any mind to the three girls she just had to push past to get into the ladies room. But if she had, she might have noticed the three matching, devilish grins on their faces. Or the not-so-innocent intentions in their eyes.
The trio watched the door swing closed.
“Empty?”
“Except for her, Trixie just checked.”
“Good, then let’s not even give her a chance to go.”
They erupted in giggles.
As the hall around them cleared out, Trixie, Sunset, and Starlight each held up an index finger. They shimmered and glowed as magic poured into them. Reaching out, they all brought the tips of their digits together, mixing magic into a sleep spell not even Twilight could counter.
Sparkling dust shot from their fingers, wafting down and through the door cracks, filling the bathroom with a drowsy haze.
Inside, Twilight was just discovering all the empty stalls were locked when she noticed the room filling with magic.
“What the… What is this?” Her body swayed. Words became harder to form, and her eyelids harder to keep open. “Sleep… magic? Sleep… sleepy…” Her hand sparked with aura, a weak attempt to counteract a spell she was already in the throes of. It dimmed a moment later; the battle had been won before it even began.
Miraculously, her bladder held out. But the rest of her body did not. Muscles weakened, knees collapsed, and Twilight slumped onto a dirty bathroom floor. Her eyelids finally gave out, blinking one last time before sleep took her.
Outside, her fellow students—no, her captors—waited for the dust to settle. They entered to find a snoring Egghead. Phase one of their brilliantly cruel revenge plan was successful, and there was no turning back now.
Not that the trio brandishing duct tape, two vials of potion, and other instruments of torture had any thoughts in their head of backing down.
“Is she up yet?”
“For the thousandth time, no.”
“What’s taking so long? Trixie’s boooored!”
“Then be patient! We’ll have our fun with her soon enough.”
“I’m kind of with Trix on this one. People are gonna start looking for her soon. Maybe we overdid it with that spell.”
“Well it’s not like they’ll find us in here. So hurry up and wait already, you’re driving me insane.”
“Ghh… unnnnh...”
“Wait, was that her?”
“O-ho-ho boy. Sunset, get it ready!”
…
… …
…
Reality came back slowly to Twilight. Her mind was fuzzy. Glittery, even. Touched by magic too strong, for too long.
But everything was coming back to her. Her vision least of all, blurred and unfocused. But she could move, sort of. Her hands were bound behind her back, and her fingers… Something sticky but firm held them in place.
Even in her haze she found that disturbing. Hands were the conduits of magic, if she couldn’t move them then she couldn’t cast spells. Something, or someone, wanted her helpless.
Her ears honed in to some nearby laughter. Or was it snickering? Definitely snickering, the kind that formed pits in the stomachs of bound girls like her.
A new sensation, her bladder, came screaming back to her. The pain. It was ridiculous, a pressure she’d never felt before. She must’ve been unconscious for a long time for it to get this bad. The urge to just go immediately was almost overwhelming. Almost. She fought down the need with sheer willpower, hoping she could convince her captors to let her at least use the restroom.
Now her eyes were working again and she looked up. Fuzzy shapes came into focus. Three figures in the dim light of a small room. A janitor’s closet? Twilight wasn’t too worried about the where, but the who. She squinted just as her eyesight full returned.
Starlight Glimmer. Sunset Shimmer. Trixie Lulamoon.
“Mm ffree?” She exclaimed. Then blinked in confusion. Something clamped over her lips. Tape!
“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead.” Sunset’s grin sent a chill down her spine. “You slept like a baby, Twilight.”
For some reason that drew laughter from her co-conspirators.
“Mmmph dff mph mmph fmm mm?” Her words were unintelligible, but the message clear.
“You’ve been a thorn in our sides for sooo long now,” Starlight strutted forward, and lowered herself to be eye level with the girl on the floor. “For three years we’ve had to put up with you being the best, most perfect, most goody-two-shoes brat in this whole school. And we’re sick of it.”
Twilight gulped. She knew she’d never had the best relationship with these girls, Trixie especially, but she couldn’t help that all her pleasantries and earnest attempts at friendship got shot down. Did they really hate her so much as to kidnap her?
Well, that’s a stupid question, she realized with fear.
“We’ve cooked up something real special for you, Twilight.” Sunset revealed a small glass vial from behind her back. “Hope you like it.”
“Oh, she’ll love it,” Trixie added. All three laughed.
“Really love it,” Starlight chuckled. She flicked Twilight’s exposed breast.
It was then that Twilight realized she was nearly naked. Her school uniform, from her button up shirt down to her shoes, was gone. All that remained were her cotton, white panties. She suddenly felt a chill.
“Mmm… Mmmm!” Twilight scrambled to sit up. She had to cross her legs when another cry from her bladder shook her hips, forcing a wince from her. All she could do was plead with her eyes for freedom.
Sunset uncorked the vial, a puff of pink smoke escaping it. She passed it on down to Starlight, who peeled the tape from Twilight’s mouth.
“HELP!” Twilight suddenly screamed. She thrashed, aiming her voice beyond the door of the janitor’s closet. “SOMEONE SAVE ME!”
Starlight flashed her teeth with her next grin. “Scream all you want. Obviously we planned for that.”
“Uh…” Trixie suddenly became the center of attention. She turned around and hastily threw some aura around the exit. “Now we did.”
Sunset groaned, head dipping to her hand. “I swear if someone heard us…”
“No one did,” Trixie brushed off her mistake. “Now come on, I wanna see her drink it!”
Twilight gulped, praying her cry reached someone’s ears. Her eyes drifted to the unnamed potion in Starlight’s grip. “W-What are you going to do to me?”
Starlight held up the pink juice, and winked. “You’ll see.”
Suddenly, Sunset was down on the ground with her. She grabbed Twilight’s face, pulling her chin down to expose her mouth to the potion.
“No!” Twilight begged. “STOP!”
Sunset held her steady. Starlight came in with the potion, dumping it down Twilight’s throat. It had the consistency of syrup, but an even sweeter taste. The mystery elixir coated her tongue and teeth alike, before it started to sink toward the back of her throat.
Twilight tried to squirm free, to spit, to do anything, but Trixie’s hand came out of nowhere to clamp her mouth shut. When Twilight tried to keep the potion from slipping down her throat, Starlight reached forward and pinched her nose closed. It was clear Twilight wasn’t going to get to breathe if she didn’t play along. Out of options, she swallowed.
“Yes!!!” The three kidnappers rejoiced. Twilight gagged and coughed.
She had no idea what she’d just taken, but already felt terrible. A placebo effect? Was she just deluding herself into thinking that? Or was it some fast acting poison? Surely they wouldn’t kill her… right? She struggled to free her hands, to cast some kind of counterspell. But nothing.
“What did you do?” she begged. She needed information. She was facing this blind. But she finally got her first pinch of data when her body began heating up. “A-Ah~ What is this?”
“Is it working?” Trixie asked.
“Shh!” Came a double response.
Twilight was breathing heavily now. A heat was spreading through her body. But it wasn’t evenly distributed. She felt it concentrate in her breasts and her… privates. For what purpose? It felt like it should be obvious, but her racing mind was slowing to a light jog. A trot. More of a slow-motion walk, now.
“Oooh!” She moaned. The sensation overtook everything. She even forgot how badly she needed to go. She was just burning, itching. Her boobs needed attention. Her snatch grew wet. There wasn’t anything on her mind except a need to seek pleasure. “I feel… I need… Unff!” She bit her lip.
“Look!” Trixie pointed eagerly.
Twilight followed it down to her breasts. They were glowing. From the heat? No, that was dumb. Why would she think—?
Her boobs ballooned. Twilight was used to a modest B-cup, but in a flash had a generous pair of Ds. They stretched until she had to amend that to double Ds. Or was there a letter after D she could use? Probably not, if none were coming to mind.
“Ha!” Starlight caught her sharp laugh with a hand, needing to back away to give Twilight’s new bosom some space.
“My chest feels heavy,” Twilight moaned. Heavy and hot. “Good…”
“With boobs that big, no one’s going to mistake you for an Egghead now,” Sunset teased.
“Trixie’s a little jealous.”
“Don’t be,” Starlight said. “I bet she doesn’t even know two plus two anymore. Let alone how many matrices a transfiguration spell needs.”
Twilight didn’t know either of those things. All she knew was that her boobs, her massive, burning, sensitive boobs, needed to be touched. Felt. Fondled. And none of the girls in front of her seemed up to the task.
“Please, u-untie me!” She moaned. “I need to… them…”
Starlight looked back, and Sunset nodded. A pink hand glowed, and Starlight snipped her fingers like scissors. The duct tape holding Twilight’s arms behind her back split, but her fingers remained cupped and bound. That was fine for her.
Her hands leapt to her breasts, squeezing and groping like there was no tomorrow. She moaned at the feeling. This was what she needed. The burning subsided with each press of flesh, each tug of skin, each pinch of her nipples.
“Yes!” she cried. “Ohhh! Oh, yes! YES!”
The laughter hardly registered. The teasing didn’t feel like teasing.
“Aren’t you ashamed, bookworm?” Trixie condescended. “Don’t you have any decency?”
“No!” Twilight shook her head. Her hands continued working magic on her enormous breasts. Awkward, awkward magic, but it scratched the right itch anyway. Again, there was laughter. She moaned louder than it. It wasn’t her fault she was so turned on.
Or… was it? Twilight had no idea what was making her so horny. She’d already forgotten her new, ample breasts weren’t natural. It seemed like they’d always been this way. Like she’d always been this way. Not a thought in her head besides insatiable lust. And she kind of liked all the empty space up there.
“Look at your panties,” Starlight chastised. “They’re all wet!”
Twilight tried to look down, but mounds of flesh were in her way. But she could feel it. Sopping wet, sticking to her slit. Come to think of it, down there felt really hot as well…
One hand drifted, but Starlight stopped it. “Now now, we can’t leave you so drenched.”
Magic slipped the last remnants of Twilight’s clothes away. Bare-bottomed, all she could think about was rubbing fingers against her clit.
“Don’t worry, we have something in mind to replace them.” If Twilight paid attention, she would have picked up on sinister tones in Sunset’s voice. But she didn’t. She didn’t even pick up on the diaper until it was halfway around her waist.
“Wha-at?” she gasped. Breaths were ragged and hot. Her crudely taped fingers slipped over a pert nipple. That was enough to distract her while the diaper continued to fold itself around her.
All of a sudden her nethers were smothered by a fluffy force unlike any she’d ever felt. The diaper was massive, poofy enough to spread her gait. She’d be waddling around in this thing, assuming she wanted to even stand up right now. “Oooouuuuuhhh!”
“Hear that? I think she likes it,” Starlight snickered.
“Good, because I bet she needs it,” Sunset said. “Feel the need to go, Twilight?”
Suddenly, Twiilight was reminded of her aching bladder. A desperate, desperate desire to go. But as shameless as she was, as debased as she was, as dumb as she was, Twilight couldn’t quite surrender that last shred of dignity. “Please...” she gasped. “Lemme use the potty...”
“Aren’t you already wearing a diaper, Twi-tard?” Trixie snickered. “Just use that.”
“Notta… baby…” she moaned, trying to focus on playing with her breasts.
The ache distracted from the heat, the pleasure. She needed it gone. But she couldn’t use a diaper. Even if it felt so good against her privates, she couldn’t bring herself tp pee in it. Her held back hand was still itching to grab her own pussy, yet couldn’t move that’s to Starlight’s magic. On top of all of that—
“Uuuggghh!” The conflict was too much for her tiny brain to figure out. She needed a simple, easy solution. Anything.
“We can make that feeling go away.” Trixie produced a new vial of potion. This one with a more reddish tint than before. But Twilight couldn’t pick up on such a subtle detail. She saw what looked like more of the stuff that already made her feel so good. And she wanted it.
“Yes!” she begged.
“Are you sure?” Starlight asked. “You were so concerned about what the last one was going to do to you.”
“I want it!” Twilight whimpered.
“Don’t blame us if you don’t like the side effects,” Sunset tsked.
“I need it!”
“Okay…” Starlight uncorked the vial.
Down the hatch it went.
Twilight felt nothing new at first. But then, slowly but surely, the ache in her bladder went away.
Hissss.
“Mmm…”
She didn’t put two and two together. The relief of her bladder and the wet feeling growing in her diaper, the connection was irrelevant. All of a sudden the horny lust was the only thing left in her. And she dug into her breast with a new fervor.
Her captors were rolling on the floor with laughter.
Starlight couldn’t even keep Twilight’s hand held back anymore. She let it roam free, and it roamed straight to her crotch. The taped hand rammed into the yellow-stained front of the diaper and pushed. Soggy, warm padding attacked Twilight’s already wet pussy.
It didn’t matter that she was still in the process of peeing herself. The audience, the binds, none of it mattered. Twilight could finally satisfy both burning desires at once. She no longer needed to think even the tiniest thoughts; she acting on impulses now.
Fiery, horny impulses.
Sunset snipped her fingers, magic cutting loose the last of the tapes. Now with free fingers, Twilight was free to rip into her body even more. Nipples got proper teasing, her crotch felt five points of pressure drilling drenched padding into it. Squishing and squishing and squishing. It was a whole new level of heaven, and Twilight was here for it.
“Yes! YES! OooOOOoooOOOuuuUUuuu!” She was edging herself to a glorious climax, but couldn’t quite seem to reach it.
Her captors’ laughter had all but scorched their throats by now. Sunset was even wiping away a tear.
“I can’t believe you freed her hands,” Starlight accused. “What if she got away?”
“She’s not going to fight back now,” Sunset remarked on the self-molesting girl. “I mean, just look at her.”
Starlight and Trixie nodded. It was one hell of a display.
“I say we call it a night, then,” Starlight decided, pushing herself up. It made enough room for Twilight to lie on her back, moaning in a whole new octave.
“Sure,” Sunset turned to the door. “Need a good night’s rest before exams tomorrow. Though, we don’t have to worry about who will get top scores now.”
“Yeah, cause it’ll be me,” Starlight confidently declared.
“Pfft. As if.” Sunset put her hands on her hips.
While the two devolved into petty bickering, Trixie moved around to the other side of Twilight. She was hardly recognizable anymore, just a mindless bimbo who’s closest approximation of thought was the need to grab a fistful of wet padding and hump it.
With a smirk, Trixie had one last cruel joke for her former rival. After so many defeats in combat, she couldn’t resist adding some of her own magic to complete the downfall of Miss Perfect.
She made a fist, summoning magic to her hand. When she opened it again, she’d conjured a baby blue pacifier.
“Here,” she shoved it into Twilight’s mouth. “One last gift, Sparkle.”
“Mmmm.” Twilight suckled instictively. It was its own form of pleasure, different from her disgusting masturbation, but enjoyable all the same. “Feews goowd.”
“Let’s go,” Trixie said to the still arguing girls.
They managed to stop just short of shouting at each other. The realization that they were truly done here was enough to put the debate on hold.
“I guess we’ll see who’s better tomorrow,” Starlight said.
“Sure,” Sunset agreed. She shot one last look down. “We know it won’t be Twilight, at least. And that’s enough. For now.”
She opened the door, dispelling the sound dampeners Trixie had cast. The three walked out, leaving the self-pleasuring, former-egghead to her own devices.
She suckled, and fapped, and squished, and groped, and moaned as they walked away. Twilight continued on until one climactic, orgasmic moan echoed through the empty hallway. Finally, her completion.
She wouldn’t be able to take her midterms tomorrow, or any day this week. Assuming she even showed up she’d be too busy squishing her wet padding to hold a pencil. Her time as the best student in the school was over. When she’d finally come to her senses seven days from now, it would be too late.
They had successfully erased Miss Perfect.
Author's Note
Got some inspiration for this last night and basically didn't go to sleep until it was finished. Why do I do this to myself?
Oh well, hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.
