A Short Summary of the Happenings of a Human in Ponyville

by Yazaboy

Rating: mature
Tags: Nurse Redheart, Adventure, Violence, Slice of Life, Death, Human, Narcotics, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3253

My name is Lee, and this is the story of my time in a place called Ponyville.

Hey there I'm Lee, and I'm a traveling salesman. I sell all kinds of things from watches, to cars, to books and about everything inbetween. Long story made short I go to sleep in my motel room and wake up in some back allie.

Published 2019-07-31 14:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-01 02:56:24 UTC

Chapter 1 A Bad Trip

Chapter 1

A Bad Trip

Pitter, Patter, Pitter, Patter, water fall softly on my face. Slowly, I begin to wake from my peaceful slumber. As I said up I start think up my list of complaints. I open my eyes to see where the leak is coming from only to find a rather shocking lack of roof. This in combination with the increasing rain make me shoot awake. I look around trying to find my bearings looking feverishly for the rundown motel. Unable to find it I being to wonder where I am and why I'm here? I rip myself off the pallet that had become my bed and walked into the street. Soon mud and gunk was covering my shoes making them heavy, a short accidental plunge into a puddle cleaned them off. But got my feet all wet.

Now with the rain beating down hard on my face I scanned for any signs of people who could tell my where I am. The streets had been abandoned due to the late hour, leaving not a soul to be found and the over cast and lack of lights make in all but impossible to see more than 10 feet down the street. Slugging down the street and stumbling on a loose rock I found my self at a small intersection. Stopping for a second and reaching down I light up my watch, checking the time. 2:36 am. I continued down the street try not to fall over anything else when a light to my left dazzles me. Almost walking into a fence, I lift my had up to shield my eyes until they can adjust to the light. Seeing the light coming from someone's living, I go to knock on the door.

Tap , tap, tap, I rattle my hand ever so slightly on the door. Making just enough noise has to be hear. The rain by now had thoroughly soaked me. Making my long hair lay down flat and my thin shirt cling to my torso. Seeing to that the wind is stealing away what warmth I had. Leaving one very wet, very cold, salesmen knocking at this person's door. I heard the sound of the locks being undone and the door open about 4 inches. "Hello who is there, and what do you what at this time of night?" The tone displayed obvious irritation.

" Ah, hello Miss my name is Lee. I'm sorry to be bothering you but I seem to be rather lost? Could you tell me where I'm at and where the nearest motel, so I can be on my way? " I ask trying to keep from sound to curt.

"Look Mr. I don't know what kind of a joke this is but......"~RH It was at that moment I saw what I had been talking to a small slender horse. Her, facial expressions hidden by shadow, her pale pink hair practically glowed in comparison. ".....uhh your in Ponyville Mr. Umm.. Lee, has for a place to stay well I don't think there any place open this late."~RH

I stood there unsure of how to react to being faced with a walking talking horse. So I nodded said a thank you and started to turn away, when she spoke up again. "Hey, Lee why don't you come in. Your shacking like a leaf and its raining rather hard. I doubt you'll be able to find any other place tonight. I got a couch you can sleep on."~RH I stopped turned around and nodded glad to be give the opportunity to get out of the rain. The door despite being rather short was very welcoming when opposed to the dreadful weather outside. So I bent down and squeezed through find a little more head room inside. "You rather tall Lee, so you should mind your head. There the couch I'll be back with a blanket in just a moment."~RH The door shortly closed and I my host was off before I could reply.

Looking around at her living room it was dry, warm, and rather "cozy." I started running over the last few minutes in my head. I was in a town called Ponyville, talking to a creature I never heard of and probably dreaming. "Do you mind if it take off shoes here, there super wet? " not quite yelling but being load enough that she could hear me.

She strolled in with a massive, unimaginably fluffy, purple comforter atop her back. "Sure just leave them by the door, if you don't mind."~RH Getting a better look she has pink hair , massive blue eyes, a white coat, and a picture of a red cross on her leg. She places the comforter the couch, before picking up some used mugs and empty cans. "Sorry about the mess I've been working midnight at the clinic and I haven't had the time to clean recently."~RH A sheepish grin accompanied with a slight blush.

"Don't be saying sorry, I sprung this one on you. I'm sure that you wern't planing on having little old me sleeping on your couch. So where in America is this Ponyville at, I can't say I have ever heard of it. Last I checked I was in Jacksonville, Florida." My polite smile began to fail with every passing moment, of silence. The rhythmic ticking of a clock dragging out the seconds. "You don't know where Jacksonville is do you?" A nod confirmed my fears, "And I'm guessing you ain't ever seen folk like me before have yah?" Another nod only worsened them. " Do you mind if I smoke I got to calm My nerves Miss? "

"Redheart and ahh I'm not exactly sure what a smoke is but if it will help keep you calm sure why not."~RH She began to get up walking most the way out of the room before she stopped "bathroom is second on the left I'll see you tomorrow Lee."~RH I waved and took a long pull from my cigarette. This might be real and I was pretty far from home. I stopped down to my blue jeans and sat on the couch for awhile before falling asleep. It was a deep, dreamless sleep, that after the evening's events was needed and well deserved.

Chapter 3 Surprise

Chapter 3

Surprise

I walked slight out in front of the other two, "So Midnight how do you know Redheart?"

Using her wing to get in front of me she stopped and shot Redheart, a mischievous grin. "Ahh... that story is super lame I've got a great one for you! "~MS Glancing over at Redheart. The blush on her face, told me this was going to be interesting. "Well you know we gotten in to all kinds of trouble, we egged Mayor Kate's house, dressed up has a timber wolf to scare little foot on nightmarenight, ohh and we even stayed in the theater for a extra movie one time!"~MS At this Redheart face went beat red, while Midnight looked like she was ready to split a seem.

"I should be more careful with who I hang out with, you guys are harden criminals." The dynamic duo, looked mortified fully convinced by my stone cold delivery. That was until I broke out laughing. "Hell when I was a kid we got up to some crazy stuff. Like dry ice bombs and home made c4. Oh man, one time me and my friend Jason took his truck out mudding turned down the wrong road and got into some farmers feild. So there we are driving around looking for an exit when he come riding up on his 4 wheeler ready to dish out some redneck justice and put two slugs into the radiator." Now at this point I'm grinning ear to ear, complete oblivious to how dark sugar cube corner was. I

"Surprise! "

"Gahh, shit, Surprise! Holy crap balls!" The light clicked on and I was pushed in by Redheart and Midnight. " Hey Red, what all this why is the placed packed with a bunch of folk I don't know? And Why didn't ya tell me there was a party? " The ball of pink who had been talking non-stop earlier popped out nowhere and handed my a bottle Glendgoolie Blue. A whisky with a fine refreshing taste. "Thanks, but you forgot the..." I was cut off by her pulling a glass out of her hair. "I guess the bottle do."I

" Okey Dokey "~Pink ball

" So how your uhh... Welcome to Ponyville Mr. Only person to ever ignore me party? "~RH I shot a glance at the banner to make sure that what it said. "Did you actually ignore Pinky? You know that kinda a bit harsh. I get that she can get on your nerves but she means well. Any way how do you like the party I mean first day in Ponyville and you got some bits and a party from the best party planer in Ponyville." ~RH

After finding three cups I decided to invite Red and Midnight to a little drinking game. "All righty folks heres how you play. Everyone take a drink until there is only one person left." Setting up three red solo cups, I filled them up. " Alright 1 2 3 DRINK! " I tipped my cup back and got black out drunk.

After that I woke up on Red couch with a empty bottle dry throat and cracking head ache. "Hey sleepy head I made breakfast for you and Redheart." ~MS My responds was to groan and drag my body out of bed. Not for food but for water, because it Collage taught me anything it is how to get rid of a hang over. Step one 3 eggs with water or Whisky if available. Step 2 Drink 2 gallons of water and urinate. Step 3 Is to make a sandwich. "So is that how you always deal with hangovers? Cause drunk you was way more fun. Even when you passed out after 5 drinks. By the way you have the most adorable snore."~MS My death stare seemed to have no effect on the dastardly Pegasus .

"Give the poor guy a break, he had a rough night and doesn't need you to make his morning rough too. Here I brought you a dandelion sandwich." ~RH I pick it up look at it remove all the flowers and eat the bread. Red and Midnight look at me like I had grown an extra head. "Uhhh do you not like dandelions I have hay instead?" I shake my head and swallow.

"No thanks I don't think I can eat that stuff. People don't eat flowers." They both seem to tense a bit, has if expecting the worse. "We omnivores so we meat like fruit, meat, potatoes, and flour and stuff." They both backed up a bit and started to look kinda jumpy. " Uhhh.... Are you guys worried that I'm gonna eat you? "

"When you say it out loud it sounds kinda funny. It just that most ponies don't eat living things. So when you said you eat meat we jumped to conclusions. Sorry."~MS Pulled them in for a bit and we shared a tender moment. Red have me a killer bear hug, and she held it long after Midnight let me go. I got up having to all but rip Red off me. "Thanks for being so understanding. Ohh darn it, it's 9:30 already I got to go and open my shop. Bits don't make themselves!"~MS Midnight flew through the door and ran down the street.

" Bye Midnight! Any how I'm gonna go get some sleep before my shift at the clinic so see when I see you. "~RH

With nothing but an empty room to keep me company I decided to go for a walk. Walking to the market I noticed a rather pleasant overcast, that was until a rainbow flew through all of them. I looked at a small Rose stand admiring the vibrant flowers. "You looking to buy any? Maybe for somepony special?" ~Roseluck I shake my head. I walk a fair way down the market past a handful of fruit salesmen. Applejack still peddling her apples in the same spot. Midnight's shop was absolutely packed with ponies all trying to get something or the other. I stop at what appears to be a 'tree house.' Reading the sign "Golden Oaks Library." I open the door only to find what other than a dragon stacking books.

Music

Chapter 2 A Rich Market

Chapter 2

A Rich Market

When I woke up the next morning my watch said it was 7:57 am. Getting up has silent had possible, and tip toeing to the bathroom. A look of horror and confusion at the oddity of the bathroom. Gawking at it all for a second I quickly regain composers, before figuring out how it worked. After exiting I, wrote a short goodbye/Thank you not, took out 20 bucks and my business card before leaving. After squeezing though the door again and walking out of the street I noticed two things. 1 I was like 3 feet tall than most the hoses so, ponies it is and there was actually quite a few of them and they were all looking at me. So I started out into the street not sure if where I was going when I was stopped my a ball of pink. While it made some rather irritating noises it wasn't to hard to ignore. A trick I picked up from selling to old people. The noise of ponies talking about me, and the nonsensical ramble of this pink ball made my trip down the street rather awkward.

Being a salesmen I'm used to talking to people, but being surrounded by a bunch of ponies who all had stopped to gawk at me was a first. Soon though I became more of an interest to passersbys. Finding my way through the tightly packed crowd I noticed the ball of pink still following me, now talking at unnatural speeds. This short distraction lead to me bumping into someone. "Oof, sorry didn't see you there. I was a bit distracted." Looking down I saw a white and purple pony, who looked like she was wearing a dress?

Screaming like a maniac, "My DRESS! Watch were you're going you ruffian!" Shoving me in the legs to little effect. "I've been slaving over the for weeks and you ruined it! My just wait until the girls hear about this! Good day Sir! Hump."~R The snotty little pony with a slightly dusty dress walked off, with her noise so high you'd think she drown.

Walking further down the street when suddenly my noise was his by a powerful apple like stench. The clearly artificial assault of smells, burned my throat and eyes. Lifting my hand up to wave away the noxious cloud I found it replaced with a beaming orange mini horse. "Well howdy there Mr. My name is Applejack and would you happen to be interested in some lovely apple scented perfume? Or maybe another one of our world famous apple family products? We got all kinds of backed goods, jams, and apples! Why one could say we got the best apples in ponyville! I mean who else sales apples in Ponyville." ~AJ

While I could respect Applejacks pitch I was still being pestered into handing over cash. I couldn't help but let some of my annoyance out "Back off dude, your in my space and selling crap I don't need. So why don't you just take a hike." She seemed completely obvious to my statement, moving on to her next prey has soon has she figured out that I wasn't going to bite. "Christ sake I hate salesmen." Spotting a sign for a pawn shop I walked in, looking to sell my small assortment of good and silver coins.

Has I entered a small bell announced my arrivial. "Ah hello the Mr. what can Miss Midnight Skies do for you today? Is there anything you would like to buy or sell?"~MS The jabber came from a dark blue pony, whom sported a pair of Pegasus wings. " I got bits of you got something worth buying, so what will it be son. Buying or selling? "~MS Her sing song voice making her proposition of bits sound all the more tempting.

So I strolled on up and pulled out of my canny pack a small assortment of thing about a dozen gold and silver coins, a candy bar, earbuds, and my MP3 player. "Tell you what Miss Skies, I like your attitude so I'm willing to cut you a real deal. You see what got hear are 12 limited edition coins with certification of authenticity. Now these rare limited production coins are according to my specialist going to at least double in price in the next 24 hours. And brought to you exclusively by Jason Lee!" Both Midnight's and my excitement mounted with every world. She seemed to be honestly enjoying the BS I was sending her way and I wanted that cash. " So if you buy now I'm prepared to offer you them for the low low price of 775 for the entire collection. What do you say you gonna buy or sell? "

"Yes Sir!" ~MS She threw almost all the bits from her drawer into a bag counting out only the last hundred or so. Picking up the coins before placing them right up front with a sign 'Imported Coins' ~1500 bits. "These will go for a fortune, Hey Mr. We're you from anyhow? Griffionlands, or Riverdale or somewhere out east?" ~MS

I was feeling generous due being weigh down by cash, so I told some crazy shit about good Dixie and went on my way. Leaving a slightly intrigued and mortified Midnight Skies. I hadn't made it 50 yards down the street before someone came out with my junk coins followed by Midnight closing up and flying towards me. "Dude you got any more of those, I just sold each one for 800 bits. Mr. Rich has it turns out is a coin collector and will pay double for any more you got! We're going to be rich! Eeehhh "~ MS

" Wait what, yeah I think so. Here fallow me." I basically ran to the alley I had woken up in. I stopped at Redhearts front gate, "Oh hey there Red, did you find the stuff I left for you?" She nodded and saved at Midnight before I walked down the street and found the alley. Searching I found my coin collection catalogue and album. Revealing 17 other set of coins. All minted with different themes. "I found them, here I got like 100 coins so what you wanna do 50/50 at 200 each." " I mean 100,000 seems like a good chunk to me. "

"Lets do it, Oh my Celestia were going to be rich! Rich I tell you Rich!" ~MS After one very short walk we had in our hand and hoof, two checks for 100,000 each. "This is the most I've ever held, what are you doing with yours? I'm going shopping with mine, Mainhatten here I come!" ~MS

"I don't know, lunch?" We both about died at that before running into Miss Redheart and deciding to go to sugar cube corner.