A Valentine For Button

by TheKMExperience

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Equestria Girls, Button Mash, Comedy, Random, Human, Sunset Shimmer, Sweetie Belle
Length: 2214

WARNING: ship teasing and shenanigans ensue...

On Valentine's Day, Button Mash is flattered by the attention showered upon him by a certain Crusader, but is there a truly more romantic evening in the cards?

Contains light innuendos and ship teasing.

"It's awkward in the funniest way I could describe. 7/10"
~AntiBronyBenSwolo

"The short version: I howled. 8/10"
~The Bricklayer

Published 2019-07-27 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-27 04:10:02 UTC

To Date or NOT to Date

On a Friday evening at your typical fancy restaurant, couples at their tables and a violinist playing, a well-dressed Button Mash is seated alone at a table, nervously glancing at his watch while eyeing every entrance in the building with worry.

"Where is she?" he ponders, idly tapping his foot on the scarlet carpet floor.

Impatient, Button pulls out his cell phone, quickly dials and helplessly listens to the ringing, fingers crossed.

"Hello?" someone answers.

"Sunset," Button hisses in his phone. "It's Button Mash. I need your help!"

"I'm not buying you anymore V-Bits for 'TwiLite'," Sunset grunts. "That game's SUPER overrated and you've just about used up all your solids from me. Plus, I'm about to head out with the girls in a minute."

"No, it's not THAT. I just need you to answer this for me: how do you know when you're on an official date?"

"Are you alone right now?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"Then you're not on a date."

"Ha ha, very funny. Listen, I'm at Gusto's restaurant waiting for Sweetie Belle-"

"Ooooooh, bout time Cheerio finally got to Princess Nectarine." Sunset chuckles.

"Yeah, but here's the thing, we're discussing her plans for class president at school and I don't know if this is either a business dinner, or more of a romantic date."

"Well, you're going out for dinner on Valentine's Day, sounds like a date to me."

"Yes, well, she didn't realize it was Valentine's Day until I reminded her. She did say she wanted to go over some 'strategy' of hers."

"Why don't you just ask her if it's a date?"

The sweat soaking Button's quivering hands causes the phone to slip out of his feeble grasp, bouncing

"Y-You know I can't do that, Shimmy!" he whines. "What if the answer's no? It'll be incredibly AWKWARD all through dinner and awkward at school. Heck, imagine how embarrassing it'll be if word got out and-"

"Button," Sunset cuts him off. "Chill for a moment here, you're rambling on again. You'll know what she has in mind by the way she dresses, how she acts, how she treats you."

"Yeah, I guess you might be right."

"Well, my ride is here. Gotta go, bye."

"Bye." the nervous nerd mumbles, slumping back in his seat with a heavy sigh.

Fifteen minutes go by as Button flops and lays about against the fancy table, frequently checking the time on his phone between every thirty seconds or so.

Soon, Sweetie Belle steps in wearing a long red coat. Excitement rising within him, Button holds his breath as he casually waves her over.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, Button," Sweetie winces.

"Oh, that's okay," Button nods. "For a second, I thought you might've changed your mind about this whole thing."

"And pass up dinner with one of the smartest guys in school? No way."

"Oh, well, it's just our plans were so last-minute, I thought maybe I misunderstood, ya know?"

The timid teen's eyes widen as Sweetie takes her coat off, revealing a low-cut stylish evening dress.

"I-I stand corrected." he stutters, taking a hard gulp.

"Can you give me a second, Button?" Sweetie asks.

"Sure, sure. I'll be waiting."

As he watches the radiant beauty head for the coat check, Button gets himself situated and begins motioning the violinist nearby over to him.

"Excuse me," he whispers. "You see that woman over there by the coat check?"

"Yes, sir?" the violinist nods.

"She's my date for the evening and I think things might have taken a turn towards the romantic. I want to make her feel as special as possible tonight."

"Then you should have offered to check her coat." the violinist quips.

"Yes, thank you so much for the advice." Button utters sarcastically, slipping a dollar bill into his shirt pocket with a subtle nudge. "All right, just play something romantic-like when she gets back."

The young schemer rushes back to his seat when he spots Sweetie Belle returning. After reaching the table, Sweetie runs into the restaurant's Maitre'd.

"Good evening, Miss Belle," he greets. "Good to see you again."

"You too, Hors D'oeuvres!" Sweetie squees, pulling the man into a tender hug. "How's the nicest waiter in town doing?"

The waiter seats her and walks away as Button begrudgingly takes his chair.

"Sorry again for keeping you hanging, Rarity had me wear this to some cocktail party of hers or something."

"Oh, you were at a cocktail party?"

"Yeah, some benefit thing or something. Big shock, it was VERY fancy, obviously. Why else would I show up wearing this?"

With that discouraging knowledge in mind, Button frantically waves away the approaching violinist while Sweetie's busy sorting herself.

"Ooh, Button, this place has the best cider here." she states. "You've gotta try it!"

"Cool. Sounds nice."

"Good thing I took a cab here. I'm a real lightweight. Then again, I'm sure a gentleman like you wouldn't mind escorting me back to my place after dinner, will you?"

"Oh," Button utters, smile forming on his face. "I think that can be arranged."

While Sweetie Belle examines the menu, Button enthusiastically waves the violinist back over.

"Trust me, Button," Sweetie chimes. "The food is great here."

"What do you recommend?"

"Hmm, well I'll start with the anchovies and red peppers, and then maybe the garlic chicken with scallions."

The thoughts of garlic-laced lip action flooding Button's mind forces him to fearfully wave the annoyed violinist away once again.

"Are you in the mood for oysters, Button?"

"Actually, I'm not sure..."

Later that rainy night, the conflicted young lad hurriedly ushers his drenched date inside her empty home. There, the awkward silence between the two is immediately broken by the sound of water trickling down their clothes and onto the floor.

"So, here we are," Button says. "At your house. Last stop."

"Eeyup." Sweetie utters.

"Guess this is it."

Button sheepishly shoves his hands in his pockets and heads for the door, head hanging low as the stuffy dome of the friend zone creeps up upon him.

"Button, where are you going?" Sweetie asks.

"Um......home? Why?"

"Come on, stay for a bit. We could have a sleepover!"

"A what?!" his voice cracks. "I can't!"

"Why not? We'll be sharing rooms and we could stay up talking bout our game plan!"

"I-I just don't know about- sharing rooms, you say?"

"Of course."

"You don't have a guest room, or anything?"

"Yeah, but you can crash with me. Rarity rarely takes the time to tidy the guest room up and I refuse to let you sleep in that dusty mess."

"Won't she have a problem with that? I mean......having a girl's sleepover with a boy and all?"

"Not like anything BAD is going to happen. Think of it as a student's sleepover, if you will. Plus, we've got the place ALL to ourselves. She's letting us borrow the house to plan my strategy."

"Why didn't you get the Crusaders' help for that?"

"Oh, they're already working on my speeches as we speak."

Mentally ecstatic, Button whips out his phone and texts his mom at the speed of light that he's having the usual "bro sleepover" at his pal Snips' place before turning back to his chipper date. "S-Sure, sounds fun." he nods.

"Goodness, I am FREEZING."

"Ugh, me too."

"I know something that'll warm us up real fast."

The propeller hat on the boy's head spins faster than any plane on the whole planet, his heart pumping on the verge of popping out of his chest.

"Y-Yes," he chuckles sheepishly. "All we have to do now is..."

"Have some tea!"

"Yeah!" Tea, that's it."

The young lad tries to compose himself as Sweetie prepares a batch of tea for the two of them. Before she could step out the kitchen, the damp belle slips in a puddle of water and hits the ground hard.

"Seriously, it's like we just walked in a lake and back out." she groans, rubbing her back and wiping the drops of rain from her dress.

"Well, it was pouring out there after all." Button says, helping her up.

"It's alright. Come on, I'll show you to the room while the tea's busy."

Upstairs, Sweetie Belle drops her stuff on the wide, cozy white bed while a bewildered Button admires the place.

"Give me a sec, I'll be right out." she says, stepping into the bathroom nearby.

"'Kay."

The moment the door closes, Button pulls out his phone and dials rapidly again.

"Sunset, it's Button."

"Button, what's up?" Sunset asks.

"I'm at Sweetie Belle's house. She invited me up here after dinner. I-I'm just not sure what it means."

"What, do you need runway lights on the mattress? It's kinda obvious, don't you think?"

"I know, I know, but I'm still getting a lot of conflicting signals here. You see, maybe she just invited me up here to talk more business or something. I just wish I could get one clear sign- OOP."

Button hides the phone behind his back as Sweetie Belle steps out in a fluffy silk robe. "So glad to be out of that dress."

"I bet..."

The sound of a kettle loudly whistling downstairs throws off the randy teen's train of thought.

"Ooh, the tea is done." Sweetie chimes. "Could you get that while I dry my hair?"

"Ah, no problem."

Button swiftly puts the phone back to his ear and leaves for the kitchen downstairs as Sweetie heads back into the bathroom, hair dryer in hand.

"I'm back, Sunny."

"Listen, she is way out on a limb here." Sunset states. "You know how rejected she'll feel if you DON'T make the first move? You're gonna blow it forever."

"Right. I got it, I'll take off my jacket."

"Yeah. Go get her, cowboy."

Button rolls his eyes and hangs up the phone, carrying the tea back upstairs and setting the tray on the nightstand.

"Button," Sweetie calls out. "Are you making yourself comfortable?"

"U-Uh, yes!" he exclaims, happily taking his coat off.

"Oh, good. Because I have some more questions about my campaign I'd like to ask you about."

"Yeah, well, that's what I'm HERE for." he chuckles, putting his coat back on in a huff.

"Or if you prefer, we could just talk about it over breakfast tomorrow."

Button's eyes widen.

"W-Want me to stay for breakfast?"

"Yeah, I hope I wasn't being presumptuous. We will be having breakfast together, won't we?"

"ABSOLUTELY." he chuckles, struggling to take his damp coat off once more.

"Great. So, who else is gonna be there?"

"Where?"

"At the breakfast meeting with the girls. You just said you were going, right?"

Button pauses. "The meeting. Of COURSE."

Sweetie Belle steps out of the bathroom just as the sneaky dork narrowly fixes his shirt.

"Button, what are you doing?" she asks, arms crossed.

"Well, I, uh..."

"I thought you said you were going to make yourself COMFORTABLE. Why don't you check the closet, I'm sure you'll find something in there you can slip on. I have to finish my hair."

Button finally pulls off his shirt and rushes towards the closet.

"You know, I'm really glad I asked you to dinner." Sweetie states.

"Gosh, SO am I." Button grunts, trying to quietly remove his pants.

"You may not believe this, but I almost chickened out at the last minute. Guess it just goes to show it's always better to take the risk."

"I couldn't agree MORE."

Down to his undies, the nerd searches through the roomy closet and finds a perfect sized robe with a cheerful grin.

"You find the slippers yet, Button?"

"S-Slippers?"

"In the closet."

Button desperately grabs his clothes and races to get dressed.

"You stepped in that puddle after dinner, I thought you might want to get out of those wet shoes and socks. It's up to you, I know some people feel funny about taking their shoes off in someone else's room. Hey, you know what I'm thinking?"

"No. I truly DON'T."

"We should make a toast before- OMG!"

"WHAT?" Button panics as he drops the shirt, hands shaking in the air. "I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!"

"I just can't believe it's so late, we better......what are you sorry for?"

F-For, uh, k-keeping you up so late."

"Oh, don't worry, it's no problem. I had a good time tonight."

"I second that."

Both raise their teacups high.

"To us......winning this thing."

The two toast and sip their warm beverage.

"Woooo," Sweetie shudders in delight. "Gotta love that warm feeling you get after that very first sip."

"Oh, yeah."

"Makes you wanna cuddle up to the nearest comfortable thing..."

"Yeah?"

"Hold it tight..."

"And.....?"

Sweetie's dreamy light harlequin eyes stares deep into Button's. "Can you get the lights, please?"

"S-Sure."

Button turns out the lights and, in the pitch black darkness, hesitantly slips into bed.

"You know, Sweetie Belle..."

"Mmhmm?"

"I know this may sound like a silly question seeing as how we're in bed together and nearly naked, but I've just been meaning to ask you something. Is this a r-romantic date, or more a business thing?"

"..."

"I understand if you find that weird."

"..."

"Sweetie Belle?"

"Zzzzzzzz....."

*BEEP*
*BEEP*

"Sunset, it's me, Button."

THE END

Author's Note