That One Time My Dog Turned Out To Be a Changeling
And Everybody Went A Little Crazy
Applejack stood frozen, her hoof still laying on Winona’s tummy as she tried to process what had just happened. Forcing herself to act, she gently pokes Winona’s stomach again.
“Ow! Didn’t you hear me the first time? Belly rubs, not belly pokes.” Winona whined. After nothing else happened for a moment, she turned to her owner, only to see wide eyes staring back.
“Uhhh….”
“...Oh, fudgesicles. Guess the cat’s out of the bag, huh? Or, should I say, the changeling?” Winona had somehow contorted her canine face into a sheepish grin.
“Ch...Ch...Ch…” Applejack sputtered.
“Yes, spit it out, say what you need to…” Winona rolled her eyes in annoyance.
“CHANGELING!” With that, Applejack was off like a rocket, galloping back into town as she screamed the whole way. Winona just stared after her.
“Well, that didn’t go well.”
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Everypony was very confused as Applejack screamed into town, literally. Carts were overturned, papers were scattered, and ponies were sent tumbling like bowling pins as the orange blur made a beeline for the podium out front of the gazebo, running up to the mic before making a proclamation.
Unfortunately, nopony could hear it. Applejack glanced around in confusion, quickly noticing the mass of unplugged wires that kept her voice from being heard.
One minor orange tornado later, all the cables were plugged in, and, taking a deep breath, she once more informed the audience: “GNILEGNAHC A SI ANONIW!”
Everypony started muttering in confusion, trying to figure out what exactly they’d just heard. Had Applejack lost her mind? Had evil spirits invaded their town? Did the mayor need to buy a new speaker system?
One braver pony from the back finally piped up. “Gnorc Asks Asian No Weep?”
With an exasperated eye roll, and another orange whirlwind, the plugs were once more rearranged. “Wynyny ys y Chyngylyng!”
The muttering resumed. Was Discord pulling another prank? Had someone stolen Applejack’s tongue? Was the cheese Roseluck had for lunch any good?
Smacking her forehead forcefully with her hoof, Applejack let out a long sigh. She then proceeded to throw the microphone, and the entire podium with it, on top of Filthy Rich, who had the misfortune of being in the front row. “WINONA’S A CHANGELING!”
A few moments passed. Then, the screaming began.
“OH CELESTIA, OH CELESTIA, OH CELESTIA”
“WE’RE DOOMED!”
“SOMEONE CALL TWILIGHT!”
Suddenly, a lone voice broke out above the din: “WHAT IF MY PET’S A CHANGELING, TOO?”
And with a cloud of smoke, the square cleared as everyone left to go check on their beloved animals, leaving behind an unfortunate and rather trampled upon Applejack in their wake.
/---------------------------------------------------------\
“Come on, come on!” Twilight frantically flipped through the pages of an old book, searching desperately for the spell she knew had to be in there. Ghost dispelling...Shadow banishing...Quesadilla disposal...There! Changeling Detection!
Holding the book out in front of her, Twilight faced Owlowicious before reading out the incantation, flooding the room with magical energy as she spoke. “Changelingicus Revealicus!”
Twilight’s spell flashed through her castle flawlessly, lighting up Owlowicious’ form in neon blue. A moment later, her spell was complete, and the green flash determined her beloved pet was all he seemed. She giggled as he flew over and landed on her head, only for him to bite her ear. Hard.
“OW!”
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Rainbow’s blue figure blended in against the sky as she flew high above the clouds with her favorite animal in the world tucked in her hooves. Despite the warm weather, she was shivering. She was sure Tank couldn’t possibly be a changeling, but she needed proof.
“Alright, Tank, if you’re a changeling, you’d better turn into something else before you hit the ground!”
With that, she let go, watching her companion’s green form disappear into a cloud. Diving down to watch him fall, she was bewildered to find a tortoise with wings hovering just below her before she flew away screaming.
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Rarity carefully placed the last teacup onto the table, carefully balancing the teapot in the air with her magic as she checked her presentation. Satisfied, she called out.
“Opal, sweetie, come her a moment.”
After a moment passed with no noticeable response, Rarity stormed into the other room, coming back with a yowling white cat that she promptly placed in one of the two chairs before seating herself in the other. Making sure not to spill, she filled both their teacups with tea.
As she plopped a couple sugar cubes into her own cup, she offhandedly asked, “If you’re a changeling, let me know what you’d like in your tea. Wouldn’t want to get it wrong.”
The cat’s only response was to knock over the cup, spilling tea all over the white tablecloth. Sighing with relief, Rarity levitated all the accoutrements off the table, sweeping the fabric out from under them before placing them back down.
“Goodness, this will need a wash.” Rarity said to herself as she wandered towards the laundry bin.
Unseen behind her, Opal hopped up onto the table, gently picking up the remaining teacup before taking a deep sip. “Two sugars is perfect, thanks.”
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Pinkie’s eyes were bloodshot, training to stay open as Gummy unblinkingly stared back. A long moment passed as both parties refused to break away, until eventually, Gummy’s eyelids lowered. Then a little bit more. Then a bit more, down to halfway. Then back up. Fully open again. Then a drop down, closer, almost...Finally!
Letting out a deep breath, Pinkie picked up her reptilian friend with both forelegs, spinning him around. “I win, I win!” Gummy just stared blankly back at her before licking his eyes, slowly.
After a moment, her spinning slowed as a horrible thought occurred. “But if I win...then you’re a changeling!” Looking down at Gummy in horror, she screamed.
“NOOOOOOO!” could be heard echoing from Sugarcube Corner for hours afterwards.
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Angel slowly caught his breath, his sides aching as the echoes of his laughter died in the background. Fluttershy pulled back her wing before staring down at him, daring him to lie “Are you a changeling?”
Frantically, Angel shook his head back and forth, his eyes nervously darting over to the exhausted pile of animals that were still trying to catch their breath, and the smaller pile of cages filled with changelings.
Fluttershy’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you. Should I believe you?”
Angel nodded furiously, hoping this would finally be the end of the tickling. The first eight times hadn’t freed him, maybe the ninth time was the charm?
“One more round, then maybe you’ll confess, changeling.” Fluttershy raised her wing to Angel’s foot once more...
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Filthy Rich slammed a tall stack of bits onto the table, sending the single bulb light above him swinging. “One hundred if you admit you’re a changeling, right now!”
The gerbil simply sat there, chittering as it munched innocently on a piece of lettuce.
Filthy drew out another stack, placing it behind the first. “Two hundred?” he asked hopefully. The gerbil dropped its lettuce and waddled over to the water bottle on the side of the cage.
Sweating visibly, Filthy drew out another stack, placing it tentatively on the table. “Three hundred?”
“Deal.” The gerbil deftly stood up on its hind legs and waddled over to the door, flipping the latch in one smooth motion before clambering up one of the stacks. Making itself comfortable, it looked back up to Filthy. “I’m a changeling! Anything else you wanted to know?”
It never got an answer, as Filthy Rich fainted, leaving a rather bemused gerbil to squirrel away its new income.
/---------------------------------------------------------\
“And...got it.” Cheerilee carefully laid the paper pieces together, letting the glue bind them together more permanently. Brushing away the paper scraps, she beheld her creation: A tiny, hamster sized dunce cap. Holding her masterpiece up in one hoof, she scooped the class pet out of it’s cage, plopping the shame-cap upon its furry rodent head.
“Now, you sit there and think about what you’ve done.” She put the hamster back into its enclosure, nudging it into a corner with her hoof.
The moment her hoof left, however, the small creature scurried its way back to the center of the cage, staring blankly up at the schoolteacher.
With an annoyed huff, she pushed it back into the corner, only for it to scurry away once more. Over and over they repeated the cycle, until eventually Cheerilee collapsed to the ground, screaming to the heavens:
“JUST STAY STILL!”
/---------------------------------------------------------\
“...in accordance with bylaw H-32, all sapient residents of ponyville are required to provide evidence detailing their species, appearance, gender, and criminal history to members of council for identification purposes, and finally, bylaw D-276 outlines that all changelings within city limits must declare their true appearance to the city for record keeping purposes.” Mayor Mare lowered the final parchment, staring down at the subject of her verbal tirade.
“So, keeping in mind the information I have just provided, is there anything you wish to declare?”
The green parrot cocked its head to the side thoughtfully. “Cracker?”
Mayor Mare kept her gaze steady. “Can you confirm you understand the laws as I have provided them to you?”
The parrot fluttered on its perch. “Polly wanna cracker!”
Mayor Mare raised the parchment into her line of sight once more. “Very well then. In order, bylaw R-18 states…”
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Vinyl Scratch looked down at the snake as it wriggled about in its cage, darting between rocks as it found a comfortable spot to rest. “Do you think it’s a changeling?”
“I honestly have no idea,” came the reply from Octavia, Vinyl’s for-now roommate. “Just get that disgusting reptile away from me!”
Glancing up, Vinyl rolled her eyes as she found Octavia trying to burrow further into the corner of the room. “Octi, it’s just Scales, it’s not like you haven’t seen him a million times.”
“Yes, but those times I didn’t know there was a possibility of it being a love-sucking changeling!” Octi’s voice had audibly jumped in pitch.
“Aww, he’s just a huge softy, aren’t you, Scales?” Vinyl reached over the edge of the tank, gently brushing the edge of her hoof against the slithery reptile’s head, only to be tackled aside by a grey blur. Groaning, she pushed her roommate off of her. “Ow. What’s the big idea?”
“Are you insane? What if it was a changeling!” Octavia’s voice had risen to be almost shrill at this point.
“So what? He’s still my friend, I can pet him if I want.”
“No, I absolutely forbid it! In fact, I want that thing out of this house!”
“Are you insane? I’m not getting rid of Scales!”
“Yes you are, you…”
As their argument grew more heated as it went back and forth, neither noticed as Octavia’s cello grew four black legs, silently lifting itself from its stand before rushing out the door.
/---------------------------------------------------------\
Winona sat atop the gazebo in the center of Ponyville, watching the chaos. Everywhere, ponies ran this way and that as changelings and animals alike scurried for cover. Food was being thrown through the air, and for some inexplicable reason a cello ran down the street as a parade of ponies with pitchforks tried to run it down. Shaking her head, the dog-form changeling wondered how all of this could have happened in the mere five minutes it had taken her to get into town.
Suddenly, everything stopped. No slowing, not gradual decrease, just stopped, leaving everything looking like a perfectly time photograph. Disguised changelings tumbled over animals and ponies as they quickly learned they were the only thing still moving, which in turn led to a wave of brushing dirt from pelts and skin.
A bright flash emanated from beside Winona, drawing the attention of every changeling to the gazebo’s roof in time to see a tall mare with a white coat, her rainbow mane billowing out behind her. A quick glance around appraised her of the situation, which in turn led to a rather solid facehoof.
“You couldn’t have tried harder not to get caught?” Celestia sighed.
Author's Note
Well, that was...a thing.
