The hold was dark, gloomy, and reeked of cordite and the tin-like odor of magic. It creaked, as the black warship rocked steadily on the breezes high above Ponyville. There was a sense of lingering doom here, of quashed hopes, of captives miserably awaiting their fate...
In short, it was Tempest Shadow's "office".
It was where her soldiers brought you, whenever you crossed the line and were remanded to the Commander's custody in her role as Truant Officer aboard Twilight's lavender airship, The Friendship School. It was where you waited to learn what fate she would mete out, with her fine sense of effective punishment and depthless capacity for creative torment.
Well... the Commander did have a reputation for ruthlessness to keep up.
Gallus sat hunched on a cold metal chair in the center of the room. The blue-feathered young griffon squinted upward into the pale cone of light overhead, projected by a tiny crystal skylight, and sweated nervously. He'd never really liked confined spaces. He was almost certain Tempest knew it. And that she enjoyed using it against him.
To either side of the chair were "Fred", two members of Tempest's eldritch army of scarlet-furred, ape-like soldiers. The gleaming eyes set deep in their mask-like faces gazed down upon the griffon impassively. Their shields and spears were held at attention as they kept patient watch on him, awaiting the Commander's arrival.
The door behind Gallus suddenly crashed open. Gallus stifled a yelp and shivered.
Heavily armored hoofsteps approached. They were accompanied by a softer pit-pat-pit-pat as Tempest's hedgehog assistant Grubber kept pace with her.
The soldiers stepped back smartly as Tempest passed by the chair, looking askance at Gallus. Then she came about to face him. The maroon pony's scarlet-plumed head was held high, her gaze coldly imperious. Judgement, swift and implacable, was certain to follow.
"Mister Gallus," she said, at length. "So nice to have you with us again."
Gallus swallowed. "Commander." He'd heard of guillotines, and was certain he'd feel more comfortable facing one of them than her.
"And what do we have this week?" she asked, softly and languidly. Grubber held up a clipboard, and Tempest idly inspected it. She looked up at Gallus, dourly disappointed.
"Really? I expected better from you, Mister Gallus."
"Yeah, well..." Gallus smiled weakly, and essayed a shrug. "We had exams this week." He tapped his head with a claw. "The ol' creativity always takes a nose-dive right after that." He tried chuckling briefly, then hurriedly fell silent, facing her withering gaze.
Her eyes flicked to the clipboard, then back to him.
"Smoking in class?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, about that... I mean, that oven-fire in Professor Pie's baking lecture was tough for us to put out... and I did end up kinda scorched from it. I woulda put myself out right away, but hey, I was tapped for other ideas, so I figured I might as well make use of it."
Tempest arched an eyebrow. "And that's really how you wanted her to write it up?"
"It does sound cooler that way," Gallus said, with just a hint of his usual smugness. "And I figure, if I'm gonna get in trouble, I might as well make it sound like serious trouble."
"You're not concerned with what the griffons at home may think?"
Gallus's gaze fell. "Not really. No one back home cares much either way. Even Grampa Gruff just initials my report card and chucks it back at me. So it's more for my own sense of self worth than anything else, really."
"Hmmm." Tempest looked pensively thoughtful.
Gallus put his claws together, a desperate look on his face. "Please, please, please... tell me it's enough?"
Tempest eyed him at length. Then she smirked. "I think you've earned yourself a demerit, Mister Gallus."
"Yes!" Gallus punched the air. And then immediately assumed a penitent, contrite attitude. "Uh, I'm really sorry. I've learned my lesson. I won't do it again. Ever."
"See that you don't," Tempest replied evenly. "I insist on originality, Mister Gallus. Never pays to let anyone get sloppy or lazy around here, now does it?"
"No, ma'am," Gallus said, saluting. "So, uh... where're we headed this week?"
Tempest looked at him, then at Grubber's clipboard again. "We've had some reconstruction requests come in from Abyssinia. Probably just the usual, someone thinks they can get a free ornamental garden out of us. But it's all in service of good will. Princess Twilight likes us to put a good face on Equestria's diplomatic efforts with the eastern lands. We'll be running some supplies down there and getting the rebuilding teams organized. At least... that's the official version..."
"Sounds cool," Gallus said. "So, Thursday, bright and early, like usual?"
Tempest eyed him darkly.
"Not making a habit of this, are you, Mister Gallus?"
Gallus's eyes went wide.
Tempest went on, her ruined horn crackling with electric fire. "This is meant to be punishment, you know. It's not supposed to be fun. It's hard work, to a purpose. It's meant to teach you something."
"Uhm... yes, ma'am," Gallus said, cautiously. "I understand. I'll do my best to look like I hate every minute of it."
"See that you do," Tempest warned him. "Can't have anyone getting the idea we don't instill proper values around here, do we?"
"Uh... nope!" Gallus agreed. "We certainly wouldn't want that!"
"All right, then." Her horn fell silent, and Tempest smiled coldly. "We'll see you Thursday, Mister Gallus... bright and early. Dismissed!"
Breathing a sigh of relief, Gallus got up from the chair and crossed to the door, which one of the soldiers had moved to open for him.
Pausing, he looked back at Tempest. "Will... any of the others be there?"
She stared at him, poker-faced. "I'm not at liberty to say. Although," she added with a mischievous look in her eyes, "I suspect that you won't be entirely alone..."
"All right!" Gallus hurriedly clapped a claw over his beak. "Oops. I mean, woe is me! Sackcloth and ashes! My life is over!"
Tempest eyed him.
"Baloney," she said levelly, "is sliced thinly, Mister Gallus."
"Er, right." He saluted once more, just for good measure, and then shot out through the door in relief.
Tempest shook her head, as the guards shut the door after him. Then she looked at Grubber.
"So... which of them is next on the write-up list?"
Yona trotted willingly into the hold. Not bothering with the chair, the yak simply thumped down on her rear on the floor.
"Yona Yak!" she bellowed. "Report self for discipline! Very sorry yak! Very apologetic yak! Not do bad thing again, ever!"
"Let's... not get ahead of ourselves," Tempest said. "Now, I see from Applejack's writeup that you were disrupting class?"
Yona beamed. "Yona sing Yak Song That Never End! Yona sing very well, very loud! Like this: This is Yak song that ne-ver end... sing it to family, sing it to friend..."
Tempest rapped sharply on the deck with an armored hoof. Yona fell silent, but with a hoof pressed to her face to suppress giggles.
"Disrupting class?" Tempest gave her a disapproving look. "That's a little... stereotypical for a yak, isn't it? I mean, if you're going to make trouble, why not do something no one would suspect of you?"
Yona stared at her. "Yona all ears! What Tempest suggest?"
"I'm not suggesting anything," Tempest said, warningly. "Though I would say that the last thing I'd expect from you is something quiet... like whistling, perhaps?"
"Yona can whistle! Yona can whistle quiet too!"
She immediately puckered up, and began whistling the Yak Song That Never Ends, very softly.
Tempest gave an irritated cough and Yona fell silent, a smile on her face.
Tempest eyed her.
"Well then. Disrupting class certainly seems to merit Detention..." she allowed.
"Yes! Yona very happy yak! Also very apologetic yak!" she added, quickly making a sorrowful, regret-filled face.
"But you are going a little overboard this week, aren't you?" Tempest glanced at Grubber's clipboard again. "Professor Fluttershy also reported you for disrupting her critter field trip. Said you were damaging school property?"
"Was honest mistake! Yona thought seating logs were smashing logs. For students to smash! Is what yaks do on yak outing with friends."
"I see. Well, I'll have a word with Fluttershy about that. Might be a useful teachable moment there. But bear in mind," she added, giving Yona a stern glare, "I come down harshly on excessive disruption. So keep it to a low uproar. Am I making myself clear?"
"Tempest pony very clear!" Yona nodded eagerly. "Tempest pony understand yaks! Yak not do what Tempest say not do, because Tempest pony understand yaks!"
"Very good " Tempest replied. "...I think. So, we'll see you on Thursday --"
"Bright and early! Yak up with dawn! Yaks best at Detention!"
Tempest snorted. "Very well, then. Yak dismissed!"
"Yes!" Yona leapt to her hooves, turned, and charged out of the room.
Grubber looked through the list, then up at Tempest. "Ya want me to call in the next one, boss?"
"In a minute," Tempest replied dryly. "Let me get my articles, pronouns, and adverbs switched back on first..."
Rainbow Dash hated filling out forms. On the rare occasion that she felt the need to report a student, she generally waited until she heard Tempest's armored shoes tapping along the corridor outside her classroom. Then she blasted out into the corridor to meet Tempest, without warning, and made her report verbally.
More than once Tempest had had to forcibly restrain herself from clubbing the cyan pegasus out of the air with an armored forehoof. Some ponies just had no comprehension of the risks they ran.
Today Rainbow's complaint was about the pink hippogriff, who was accused of...
"Insubordination?" Tempest repeated, a little doubtfully. "That's unusual for Silverstream, isn't it? What did she do? Refuse to stop talking?"
"It's that transformation pendant of hers," Rainbow grumbled. "She just won't quit using it to transform during classes. The other day we were out doing formation flying lessons for the winged students, and she kept shifting to seapony form, letting herself fall a dozen yards, and then shifting back again. It was really getting on my nerves."
"Did you try talking to her about it?" Tempest asked.
"Duh! And she claims she's practicing her 'emergency transformation skills'. But I honestly think she's doing it just to disrupt class. And I can't confiscate the thing from her because it's a cultural artifact."
"All right. We'll add her to the list, and I'll have a talk with her."
"Thanks, Tempest! I don't know how you do it, but the students always snap back in line when you're around!"
"I have my methods," Tempest said, with a dark, forbidding look. "Students rarely cross me more than once... if they're smart, that is."
"Eeeyah, well, go easy on the kid..." Rainbow said, unnerved. "She's probably just overexcited like usual."
"Oh, don't worry, Rainbow. I'm sure after we chat, she won't be bothering you like that again. In fact... I'll make certain of it."
Nodding, Rainbow returned to her class, and Tempest trotted on along her rounds.
With a proud smile on her face.
"Emergency transformation skills..." she murmured to herself. Then she laughed.
"Grubber!"
"Yeah, boss?" He looked up at her.
"Do we have any gold stars we can pass out?"
"Dunno. Lemme check the supply closet on our way back..."
Ocellus was gradually starting to feel more comfortable around non-changelings, but Tempest still felt it wise not to put too much pressure on a creature who could transform herself into a bugbear with a mere thought. Not that Tempest couldn't handle a bugbear. But she considered it a personal failure of protocol having to go ten rounds with a student. And there were much more subtle ways of encouraging good behavior...
She found the young changeling in the Friendship's small library, getting in a little extra studying in during a free period.
"Ocellus?" Tempest said calmly, strolling over to her.
"Oh... hi, Commander Tempest." Ocellus's cyan eyes blinked, and she smiled uncertainly. "Am I in trouble?"
"Are you trying to be?" Tempest replied calmly. "I understand you were late to class this week."
"Only once," Ocellus said, worried.
"The same thing happened last week," Tempest pointed out. "And the week before."
"It... was a different class each week."
Tempest rolled her eyes. "Ocellus, you are one of the most intelligent students here. If you can't do better than that, who can? Besides which, if you keep breaking the same rule, then as Truant Officer I am going to have to come down hard on you. And I don't want to do that."
"Well... it's not easy." Ocellus looked around at the library, and by extension the Friendship School itself. "I like Twilight's school so much... I don't like doing things that would make the Headmare unhappy."
Tempest nodded. "And I would never ask you to," she said. "So just be on time for class from now on, and we'll say no more about it --"
"But," Ocellus interrupted softly, "I'd like it even less, missing out on being with my friends. It's wonderful being with other creatures who accept me, even knowing I'm a changeling. So... am I still in trouble?" she added, with a hopeful look.
Tempest smiled indulgently. "Why don't you show up on Thursday, bright and early, and we'll find out. And don't be tardy this time," she warned, "because we won't wait around for you."
"Yes, ma'am!" Ocellus squeaked, happily. "I'll be there!"
As Tempest turned and trotted away, the changeling returned to her book, looking much more at ease with herself. And Tempest made a mental note to have Grubber 'accidentally' fail to tally Ocellus's write-up this week...
Tempest paused for a moment, checking that her armor was on straight, and then lifted a hoof to rap smartly on the door of the Friendship School's Royal Suite.
"Princess? You asked to see me?"
"Come in, Tempest!" Twilight called, and opened the doors with her magic.
Tempest stepped into the room, and waited at attention while Twilight shut the doors behind her.
"Commander, I've been hearing some disturbing news from Professor Rarity." The alicorn gestured to the violet-maned fashion pony, seated primly on a chair next to Twilight's desk.
Before the Headmare's desk were Smolder and Sandbar. The orange dragon had her arms crossed, a truculent expression on her face. The sea-green earth pony was looking uneasily between the Headmare, the Professor, and Smolder -- and now Tempest as well.
"It seems that Smolder has been stalking Sandbar, harassing him at every opportunity. And I've now learned it was because she was trying to egg him on into spoiling his perfect conduct record -- by chewing gum in Rarity's class."
"Ihhh!" Rarity said, shivering. "Most pastimes I can abide, but gum-chewing... it's just so uncouth!"
"Uh, just for the record," Sandbar said, "the gum-chewing was actually my idea. It seemed harmless enough."
"That's not the point," Twilight said. "The point is you shouldn't have felt pressured to do something you didn't want to do."
"But I did want to do it," Sandbar objected. "Because... uh... well..."
"Because you're such a goody four-shoes..." Smolder stage-whispered.
"Yeah, right -- that! And... I felt like I wasn't fitting in because of it."
"Really?" Twilight looked hurt. "Why would you think that?"
"Well..." Sandbar glanced about, unwilling to go on.
Twilight frowned. "And I don't understand why Smolder thought pressuring Sandbar into doing something wrong was a good idea in the first place."
"I wasn't pressuring him!" Smolder snapped. "I was..." And then she scowled, crossing her arms tighter.
Twilight stared from one of them to the other in concern.
"I'm not sure what's going on here," she said, "but I feel very unhappy that the two of you feel unwilling to talk to me about it. You're not here to be punished, that's not why I asked you here. I just want to understand what's going on and help if I can."
The two students still remained silent -- Smolder agressively so, and Sandbar dispiritedly.
Twilight sighed. "All right then. I guess I have no choice but to --"
"Excuse me, Headmare?" Tempest spoke up. "Perhaps I can get to the bottom of this. If I might speak with the two of them for a moment, privately?"
Twilight stared in surprise. Then she nodded. "All right."
Tempest rapped her forehoof sharply. "Over here. Both of you!"
When the three of them had withdrawn to the far corner of the room, Tempest stared down at the students expectantly. "Well?"
"I wasn't forcing Sandbar to do something wrong," Smolder said. "Well, maybe I was being a little forceful..."
"Maybe a lot forceful," Sandbar replied.
"Uh, hello? Dragon?" Smolder retorted. "But it is Wednesday evening, and Detention is tomorrow. So I was just letting him know that we've missed not having him with us, and if he wanted to join in he'd be more than welcome, but he'd really have to get a hoof on or he'd miss it. And I figured that by being caught egging him on, I'd get written up too, so it would work out for both of us."
"I want to hang out with you guys," Sandbar said. "I really do. It's just that, well... I've never really felt comfortable with breaking rules. Even rules that I know are meaningless or just plain silly. It's just how I was brought up. My family was always there for me, and my parents always did their best to set a good example. So for me, following rules is... well, it's a way of honoring them for that."
"Wow." Smolder stared at him. "That... makes no sense at all. But I get why it's so important, and I wish you'd explained that earlier. I wouldn't have been such a nag. I thought you were just worrying for no reason." She grimaced. "Sorry about that!"
"Hey, no biggie," Sandbar said. "You're a good friend, and you don't give up easily."
"Thanks." Smolder glanced over her shoulder. "And, now that we've gotten that sorted out... what do we tell Headmare Twilight?"
Tempest coughed lightly, drawing their attention. "We tell her the truth," the Commander said sternly.
"We do?" Sandbar stared up at her, wide-eyed.
"... of a sort," Tempest allowed, with a crafty look.
After a quick whispered conversation, they returned to Twilight's desk. "Smolder has something she'd like to explain," Tempest said.
Twilight and Rarity looked at the dragon attentively.
"Yeah, well." Smolder scuffed a foot on the carpet, her eyes downcast. "It's like this... a couple of my friends are in Detention this week, and... yeah, I wanted to spend time with them, so I figured if I got in trouble you'd put me in Detention, too. And I felt that pestering Sandbar would be a good way to do that -- you know, dragon, aggressive, that kind of thing -- though in hindsight I can see it wasn't such a hot move. I never wanted to get Sandbar in trouble. I just figured Professor Rarity would call me on the carpet right away, and that'd be that."
"Well," Rarity looked startled. "I suppose I was giving you a little too much leeway, my dear, on account of you being a dragon. Perhaps that was wrong of me, and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't show favoritism based on species. I should set a firm example for every creature in my class."
"Smolder, I'm glad you felt able to tell us the truth," Twilight said. "And I understand your wanting to be with your friends. Though I think it's only fair that there be some punishment for your behavior." She glanced at Tempest. "And I think the appropriate punishment would be to add you to the Detention list for this week."
Smolder discreetly pumped a fist. "Yes!"
"And Sandbar, since you were just an innocent bystander, I don't see there's any need to keep you here. Unless Rarity feels the need to set an example for gum-chewing."
Sandbar looked hopeful, but Rarity was shaking her head. "Oh, no, my dear! The situation was entirely my fault. I don't think we should hold that against Sandbar."
"Well then," Twilight said happily. "Sandbar, you can return to your studies."
Sandbar's face fell, and he started to turn away.
"Ahem," Tempest said, and waited until she had their attention. "It occurs to me that I have a rather full roster in Detention this week... so it might make sense for me to bring along a student monitor, to help manage the group. Sandbar, would you be willing to volunteer?"
Sandbar blinked. "Are you kidding? That'd be great! Thanks!"
Tempest nodded. "Then we'll expect to see you tomorrow morning..."
"Bright and early!" Smolder said, with a grin, and Sandbar returned it.
"Thank you, Tempest," Twilight said. "I don't know how you do it, but we got that figured out in record time!"
"My pleasure, Your Highness." Tempest bowed subserviently. "Just comes naturally, I suppose..."
When Rarity, Smolder, and Sandbar had all gone their separate ways, Twilight returned to her desk and sat down. And Tempest stood patiently at attention in front of the desk, waiting for Twilight to speak her mind.
"Tempest," the alicorn said at last, "I know I've delegated the role of Truant Officer to you, and it's because you're so good at it. And I absolutely don't want to micro-manage, but... do you really think encouraging students to be disobedient is a wise idea? Even when it's just petty infractions, and they're only doing it to be with their friends?"
Tempest thought for a moment, and then spoke.
"Princess, a healthy disrespect for authority and conventional thinking is just as important to being a well-rounded citizen as is playing by the rules. You have to know how to dance on the line, so to speak, in order to be able to properly abide within it when it matters. I'm merely giving them lessons -- in my own particular way -- on what it really means to abide by rules."
Twilight smiled at her. "You know, Tempest, if you wanted to be a professor here, we could always make it official."
Tempest shook her head. "Then I'd just be another professor, another teacher, another talking head -- uh, no offense -- that they could feel free to ignore. But as their Truant Officer, they have to pay attention to me. And if they believe they have no secrets from me, they open up to me in ways our other professors don't have access to. I see them as they truly are, Princess, and can guide them accordingly." She smiled thinly. "And don't worry... if they do go too far with me, they know I'll snap them back so fast it'll leave them dizzy."
"Tempest..." Twilight said, uneasily.
Tempest tilted her head, concerned. "What's the matter, Your Highness? Don't you trust me?"
Twilight sighed. And nodded.
"Yes. I trust you, Tempest."
The Commander nodded. "Then we'll see you when we get back on Monday. Now, if there's nothing else? I should go get ready myself."
Twilight smiled, and Tempest turned to leave. Then Twilight spoke up. "Say hi to Captain Celaeno for me, huh?"
Tempest paused, and eyed Twilight over her shoulder. "What makes you think I'm going to be seeing that old pirate any time soon?"
"Just... something I might have overheard, while passing by the students' quarters." She winked at Tempest.
Tempest returned it, smiled, and then departed without another word.
Thursday morning, bright and early, the students were all gathered on the maindeck of Tempest's black-armored flagship, watching Ponyville, the Friendship Castle, and the great lavender Friendship School airship vanishing into the clouds behind them.
"Ahem!" Tempest called from the foredeck, rapping an armored hoof. The students quickly fell in line before her. "Most of you know the drill already, but just for form's sake, let's run through it again:
"What is the First Rule of Detention?"
"Commander Tempest is in charge!" they repeated willingly.
"The Second Rule of Detention?"
"Everycreature works, nocreature shirks!"
"And the Third -- and most important -- rule?"
"What happens in Detention, stays in Detention!"
"And you'd better believe it," Tempest warned them. "Because if Headmare Twilight ever catches wind of our little... excursions together, she'll shut things down so fast it'll leave you dizzy! Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am!" they chorused.
Turning, Tempest bellowed at Grubber, who was clinging to the helm wheel.
"Flank speed, Grubber! And stand by to be boarded!"
"Aye aye, boss!" The hedgehog smacked the throttle forward, and then clung to the wheel tightly as the engines kicked in.
And as they sped through the clouds, from the cloudbanks to starboard a familiar walnut-hued warship emerged. It swung closer, easily pacing them.
On the foredeck of the Rainbow Phoenix, they could see a tall, lime-crested parrot wearing a tricornered hat, standing at the wheel and waving across at them. As her ship came alongside, she handed the wheel over to the bandannaed parrot standing beside her, then raced across the deck. Grabbing hold of a boarding rope hanging from the side of her ship, she launched herself across the gap, swinging over to land squarely on the deck of Tempest's warship.
"Commander Tempest!" she called proudly as landed.
"Captain Celaeno," Tempest greeted her in return. Then she gestured with a hoof to the students behind her. "My crew for this trip. I think you know most of them already."
"A fine band of buccaneers!" Celaeno replied pleasantly. "So, where are we headed this time?"
"Abyssinia," Tempest replied. "Though if we make good enough time we might be able to stop off at Black Skull Island on the way..."
The students cheered at that.
Then Gallus raised a claw. "Excuse me? Commander?"
"Yes, Mister Gallus?"
"Is it okay if we go across and, you know... start our lessons on pirating right away? We don't want to waste a minute of the trip down."
"If that's okay with you, Captain?" Tempest said to Celaeno.
"Welcome aboard, mateys!" The parrot smiled. "And I hope you're ready for the advanced lessons this time!"
"Yes!" Smolder said. "Finally! I'm taking you down with my sword, griffon!"
"Not if I sharpen mine on your horns first, dragon!"
"Uhh... yo ho, a pirate's life for me?"
"That's the spirit, Ocellus!"
"Yes! Yona be best pirate yak in Detention! Arrr!"
"Oooh! This is so exciting! You're gonna love it, Sandbar!"
Sandbar sighed happily. "I'm pretty sure I already do. Thanks, guys!"
The two ships sped away, vanishing into the distance among the sun-washed clouds.
Yeah... Detention with Commander Tempest... it rocks.
But you didn't hear that from us...
The End
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro.
No infringement is intended. This story is a work of fan fiction, written by fans for fans of the series.
