Author's Note

Heyo, for those who haven't heard already, I've been rewriting stories as of late, go check out the rewrite for the previous story!

Day Three: Hope

I sat at the table eating some Honey Nut Oats and some fruit. Today felt like a better day for me. I felt happier. It was lonely without Orchid but I got along with the other patients well. Due to the hospital policy, we weren't allowed to give out any of our contact information to each other for safety reasons. I thought the whole thing was stupid, but I just shrugged it off. I knew sometimes the rules there were quite strange.

“Script?”

I turned around and found the nurse from when I first got there. “Wassup?” I asked.

“Doctor Cheval wants to see you when you’re done eating.”

I nodded my head as she went back over to the nurse station to get some other work done.

Once I finished my food, I walked over to the Doctor's office. I knocked on his door and waited for a reply.

“Come in,”

I opened the door. “Tender Heart said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, take a seat,” he said. I closed the door behind me as I took a seat in what I called, the therapy bed. “How are you feeling today? Any better than before?”

“I don't know,” I said. “I’ve been thinking about it, but I’m not sure.”

“That’s alright, healing doesn’t happen overnight..” The doctor said, comfortingly. “Is there anything you would like to talk about today?”

I folded my ears back slightly. “Um, kinda…”

“Oh, what is it?”

“It’s about my nightmares…”

“What about them?”

“I guess… Never mind, it’s dumb…” I mumbled.

“Nothing is dumb when it comes to matters of the mind.”

I rubbed the back of my neck as I stared at the floor. “Do you think it’s crazy that part of me still thinks he’s going to come back for me…?” I sighed.

“Not at all, it’s perfectly normal to have these thoughts after going through something so traumatic.”

I looked up at him. “Really?” Cheval nodded his head. “I’ve always thought something was wrong with me cause of it…”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Script. You went through a traumatic experience, it’s natural that it screwed up your mind.”

I only stared at the ground and folded my ears back. “I guess…”

“Why don’t we talk about your nightmares, eventually we may be able to make them stop completely, while that might not happen during your stay here, we can develop ways to cope with them and make them less scary in the meantime.”

I looked up at Cheval. “You think so?”

“I think it’s worth a shot.” I took a slow deep breath as I thought about it for a moment and nodded my head. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“Well, what usually happens is I’m walking through town at night and then hear a chuckle echo around me.” I began. Cheval nodded urging me to go on as he jotted some notes down. “Then all of a sudden, I find myself backed up in a corner. Then…”

“‘Then’ what?” he asked.

At this point, I was clinging onto myself to the point my hooves began to tremble slightly.

“Remember, Script, nothing can harm you here. You’re in a safe space. Why don’t you just take a long deep breath, hold it for 5 seconds, and slowly let it out until you’ve calmed down? Here, I’ll do it with you.”

I nodded my head as I did as told. I took in a slow breath, hold it, and then release it.

“Again,”

In, hold, out.

We repeated the exercise five times and it felt like my body had this feeling of relief come over me. It felt nice.

“Feel better?”

I nodded my head before continuing. “Shadow Mane comes along and ends up… hurting me…”

“Shadow Mane?”

“Oh, that’s what I call him. I never really remember much about him, mostly that his mane and coat were dark colors.”

Cheval nodded his head. “I see.”

“By the time he does anything to me, I wake up and just wish I could end this nightmare for good.”

“By killing yourself?” I nodded my head, struggling to say it aloud. “It’s alright, you don’t have to feel ashamed for saying it out loud.”

I clung to myself more as I shifted around. “It doesn’t make it much easier facing it though…”

Cheval nodded once more. “It’s alright, there is one more thing I would like to ask you if you don’t mind, Script.”

I looked up at Cheval. “What is it?”

“How would you feel about going to a support group before being discharged?” he asked.

I tilted my head. “Like a therapy group?”

“Not exactly, more like a group of sexual assault survivors. They talk about how they have coped through it and all that jazz. Although, it would keep you here just a bit longer.”

I looked at the ground once more. “I… I don’t know…” I muttered. “The thought of it kinda scares me.”

“That’s alright. Why don’t you just give it a shot, it’s today around noon, you don’t have to show up to all the sessions if you don’t want to, but I feel like it would be beneficial for you.

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot.”

“Thank you, Script. I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today.”

I got up, walked out of the room, and back to my room to just rest until group.

Tender walked me down the hall, stopping at a door labled “Process Room.”

“It’s right in here, Script. Feel free to go in whenever you’re ready,” she said.

I took a deep breath as I approached the door before opening it. I slowly walked in, watching as the staring eyes of everypony watching me as I took a seat. I just stared at the ground.

“Welcome! What’s your name?”

I looked up, finding a young mare, looking to be in her mid-20s. She had a yellow coat with light blue hair. “It’s… Script Singer.”

The pony smiled. “Lovely to meet you, Script, I’m Water Lilly. Welcome to the group!” She turned over to the door, nodding at Tender Heart as she smiled in response and closed the door. “Now that we have everypony, why don’t I go over some things first? This is the Sexual Assault Survivor’s Support Group. Or as we like to call it, SASS.”

I tried to hold in my laughter. I sat in the circle of ponies, feeling my anxiety rise. There were six of us in total, all different ages and coat colors. The mare named Water Lilly continued her introduction.

"In this group, we share our experiences, our coping mechanisms, and support each other. No one is forced to speak, and everything said here stays here. We're all safe and non-judgmental. Now, let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves."

She turned to the pony next to me. "Why don't you start, Moonlight?" The pale blue unicorn cleared her throat before speaking. "I'm Moonlight, I was sexually abused by my father when I was 8. I'm 26 now and I still struggle with intimacy and trust issues." She took a shaky breath before sitting back down.

The next pony, a gray unicorn with a light blue mane, spoke up.

"I'm Luna, I was raped by a stallion I trusted when I was 19. I'm 32 now and I still have panic attacks when I'm alone with a male pony. I've been in therapy for years, and this group has been a lifesaver for me." Luna's voice wavered slightly, but she held strong.

I listened to the other ponies share their stories, my anxiety growing with each one. When it was my turn, I found it hard to speak.

The mare named Water Lilly noticed and encouraged me gently. "Script, you don't have to share if you're not ready. Would you like to introduce yourself without sharing your experience?"

I nodded gratefully. "I'm Script, I'm 20, and I was assaulted recently," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

The ponies around me nod in understanding and support. Water Lilly smiles at me, "That's all you need to share for now, Script. We're glad you're here."

The group continues, with more ponies sharing their experiences and coping mechanisms. I find myself becoming more relaxed as I listen, even as my anxiety fades slightly.

Water Lilly eventually says, "Let's take a short break now. Feel free to mingle or just relax for a bit." I get up and move to the corner, leaning against the wall. After a few minutes, a mare with a dark green coat and teal mane walks over to me.She had mentioned she was abused by a former coltfriend when she turned 18, and still struggled with nightmares.

"Hey, I'm Aquamarine." She pauses, looking at me with a soft smile. "It's your first time here, right? I can see the anxiety on your face. Just remember, we're all here for you."

I manage a small smile. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

The break ends and we all return to our seats. Water Lilly starts the second half of the session. "Now that we've all introduced ourselves, let's talk about some common coping mechanisms. Who would like to share what they do to cope with their trauma?"

A few ponies raise their hooves. A purple unicorn with a white mane speaks up. "I find that writing in a journal helps me process my emotions. It's a safe place to express myself without judgment."

I nodded my head, finding it relatable. "I've tried that before, but I always end up tearing the pages up afterwards." I admitted.

The mare who checked on me on break, Aquamarine smiled. "That's alright, it's a process. I used to do the same thing, but I found that it helped me to write it all down first, then tear it up. It's like releasing the pain onto the paper before letting it go." I thought about it for a moment.

"Thanks, I might try that."

Water Lilly nodded, "That's a great idea, Aqua. Does anyone else have any coping mechanisms to share?"

The group continued to discuss various strategies, from physical exercise to art therapy to meditation. As the session wound down, Water Lilly reminded us of the next meeting time and encouraged us to continue supporting each other outside of the group. I left feeling a bit more hopeful than when I arrived, even though my anxiety was still present.

I walked back to my room, my mind full of the group's experiences. As I settled onto my bed, I took out a pen and paper, deciding to give journaling another try. I wrote down everything that had happened in the support group, being as honest and detailed as possible. As I wrote, I felt a weight lift from my chest, like I was finally acknowledging the pain I had been carrying.