Serious(ly not serious) love triangle

by Mica

Rating: teen
Tags: Fetish, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Sunburst, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Trixie
Length: 3520

Starlight Glimmer likes Sunburst. Sunburst likes Trixie. Trixie likes Starlight. Hilarity ensues. 'Nuff said.

Starlight likes Sunburst. Sunburst likes Trixie. Trixie likes Starlight. Hilarity ensues. 'Nuff said.

A/N: This is PURE crack shipping, intended for comedic purposes. Please don’t take seriously. TBH, I literally wrote the first chapter in no more than 2 hours on an impluse. :twilightsheepish:

Contains SPOILERS for Season 9 episode 20 (A Horse-Shoe In). You have been warned.

This is a multiple POV story.

Inspired by this fanfic over on FFN: [...]/s/9799512/1/Serious-Love-Triangle

Published 2019-07-30 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-08 20:07:32 UTC

Chapter 1

Starlight

Sunburst is coming.

Ohhhh…

Ohhhh…

The joy!

He’s coming!

He’s coming!

Hescominghescominghescoming!

To the friendship school!

To me!

He’s working!

With me!

Under me!

Under me?

Geez, I never thought about it that way.

…

Tee-hee.

I’ve never been so happy! Am I smiling right now? Am I smiling awkwardly? I am? No I’m not. I hope not. That would look just plain weird.

Trixie’s sitting at my desk. The guidance counselor’s desk. Since she’s now the guidance counselor. I’m the headmare. And Sunburst’s the vice headmare. Vice headmare. He’s moving to Ponyville. He’s standing there. Right next to me.

So close that…I can smell him.

“Trixie, you shouldn’t have thrown Phyllis in the trash like that,” he says. “It hurt Starlight’s feelings.”

How he stands up for me! I’m definitely smiling now.

“Oh…I’m sorry, Starlight.” She pulls it out of the trash. I take it from her with my magic. “I…I didn’t realize how much your plant meant to you.”

We could have adjoining offices. We could have…“exclusive” school board meetings in the conference room.

Wait, the conference room has windows.

Or…

Or…

…

Trixie

Starlight doesn’t know that The Great and Powerful Trixie is actually the Gay and Powerful Trixie.

Well, also Great.

But the Great, Gay, and Powerful Trixie doesn’t sound very catchy to the Great, Gay, and Powerful Trixie.

Trixie’s had the privilege of knowing Starlight for many years now.

But there’s so many secrets that Trixie has kept, that Starlight doesn’t know about.

Trixie remembers.

She remembers that look on Starlight’s face when she threw her plant into the trash.

“Phyllis, NO!” Starlight screamed, with…that look on her face.

That look of…desperation.

Of…utter fear.

And terror.

Trixie chuckled. She found her suffering most pleasurable. She often does.

Trixie wishes she could give Starlight that look on her face in bed.

But Trixie isn’t cold hearted. She once was, but ponies change. Trixie wants Starlihgt to be happy. So she took Starlight’s plant out of the trash.

The Gay and Powerful Trixie has become a much more kind, gentle, sensitive, caring pony.

Trixie has decided on a safe word.

The safe word is Phyllis.

Trixie can just imagine her first night sleeping with Starlight.

That purple unicorn mare.

Lying there.

Licking her hooves.

Oh…how Trixie loves to get her hooves licked.

Trixie shows them to her.

Ever so subtly, by leaning back on the desk chair. And putting her hooves up on the desk.

She's smiling at her too. With bedroom eyes.

Does she not notice?

Sunburst

I love it when she has that coy look in her eye.

Half snarky. Half sexy. Bedroom eyes, you know?

I wonder if she’s noticed me. Or is she as oblivious as Starlight is?

There’s an allure about her.

Something that Starlight doesn’t have.

Starlight is great. And she is powerful.

But she’s not Great and Powerful.

Something about her leaning back in that chair.

Her bare hooves up on the desk.

Exposed.

I can only imagine how sweet and supple they are.

I’m standing right next to Starlight. So close that I can smell her.

Yuck.

She needs to take a shower.

I wish I were standing right next to Trixie instead.

Starlight doesn’t really like me that much. I don’t think.

I don’t think, as in…I don’t really think about it.

She’s my childhood friend. With emphasis on the friend.

She’ll understand.

I mean, she’s obviously not into me in “that way.” I mean…

…look at her.

She’s not even looking at me. She’s holding her plant with her magic, staring at the wall to her left. She’s deep in thought.

About something else, obviously. Not me.

Starlight

He’s looking at me, isn’t he?

He is.

He is!

Even though my back is to him, I can…feel his presence.

That sounded awkward, didn’t it?

Well, no.

It makes perfect sense.

After all, we’ve known each other since we were foals.

It only makes sense that we should be together. I’m a bit older than Twilight. It’s about time I started seeing somepony.

And by somepony, I mean…some colt.

And by some colt, I mean…Sunburst.

Sunburst.

Sunburst.

Starlight Sunbrust. Starlight Sunburst Starlightsunburst Starlightburst Starburst.

Tee hee.

That was funny.

Anyway.

Where was I…?

Yes, the conference room. Not the conference room. No…

…wait.

There’s that old disused janitor’s closet.

We could have a private breakroom in there. Maybe, maybe…

…we could do a little roleplay. I could…

…do my hair up. In my old filly style. And we could…

…play with magic.

Just like when we were little foals.

Well…not exactly like when we were little foals.

Boy, is it getting hot in here?

Trixie

Gosh, Trixie has such an effect on mares, doesn’t she?

I mean, look at Starlight. Staring at the wall to her left.

She’s trying not to look at Trixie.

Trixie’s hooves.

Trixie’s soft, lickable hooves.

Her face is red. She’s flushed.

It’s the hooves, isn’t it?

It’s the hooves.

Ah.

Trixie has tortured Starlight much too long with her…sexiness.

Bad Trixie!

Naughty Trixie…

Naughty.

Hmph.

Trixie should leave. Give Starlight a little…breather.

“Well, Trixie has to be somewhere, but she'll see you all tomorrow morning,” Trixie says.

“You’re leaving?” Sunburst says.

Starlight looks at Sunburst and smiles. Trixie, through her Great and Powerful magical abilities, knows what Starlight is thinking.

She’s thinking,

Oh, Sunburst. Sweet Sunburst. I know we have been friends since we were little foals. But I, Starlight, must join the one I love the most. The Gay and Powerful…Trixie.

“Bye!” Trixie says, with a little wave.

“Okay! See you tomorrow, Trixie!” She smiles at Trixie. Like she can’t wait.

Like she can’t.

Fucking.

Wait.

Trixie walks towards the office door.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie looks forward to working under you,” she says at the door.

And then she winks.

You know, all the mares think you’re hot shit when you wink at them.

Not just mares, it works on colts too.

Sunburst

Oh Celestia.

Oh sweet fucking Celestia.

Excuse my language.

But she winked at me.

She. Winked. At. Me.

TRIXIE FUCKING WINKED AT ME!

Am I smiling? Am I smiling awkwardly? Am I blushing awkwardly?

Why did she leave me?

So soon?

So…abruptly?

Was…was it something I said?

Or did I just…look it…?

Oh, did I chase her away?

And she didn’t want to hurt my feelings? How noble of her, but—

“Sunburst, what’s the matter? You look upset,” Starlight says to me. “Was it something I said?”

I turn my friend and new colleague. She looks genuinely concerned. “No! Not at all, Starlight! You don’t have anything to do with it Erm…you don’t need to bother with me, Starlight,” I say.

“To do with what?” she asks.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Really?”

“I’m fine, really.”

I hear the main door downstairs open.

And shut.

I run up to the window to see Trixie.

One last time.

Starlight

Sunburst’s awfully jumpy today.

Almost…frisky.

A good sign, I guess.

I follow Sunburst to the window.

It’s a small window.

Barely wide enough for the two of us.

Never mind.

Sunburst’s poking his head out the window.

I look out with him.

I squeeze really tightly next to him. Our warm flanks are pressing against each other. My sweat of arousal seeps into his fur.

“You really need a shower,” he teases.

Sunburst

Ugh.

The stench.

That damn stench.

Friendship aside. That mare has horrible body odor. And snores like a freight train.

But never mind that—I see her!

Trixie!

There she is!

I see her from the window.

Prancing her way down the road.

She stops.

She turns back.

She looks up at me.

She winks! Once!

Twice!

Should I?

Should I?

Yes.

Now or never.

I wink back.

Starlight

Wait.

Wait a sec.

Why did Sunburst wink back at Trixie?

Never mind.

Trixie’s obviously trying to wink at me.

Ugh.

She’s been winking at me all day today.

I have no idea what’s up with her.

I better wave back or something.

Trixie

Shit.

A wave?

Is that all you got?

Shit.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

This is the worst friendzone ever.

EVER.

Sunburst

She’s walking away. She looks…downcast.

Oh Celestia, I’m stupid.

I’m on the 3th floor, she’s on the ground. How can Trixie possibly see me wink from such a distance!?

No.

Oh no.

Oh no no no nononono.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I blurt out.

She’s gone.

Forever.

I let her down.

No.

No!

NOOO!!!

I can’t help it.

I can’t hold it in anymore.

I fall to the floor.

I burst into tears.

Starlight hugs me and hands me a tissue. And I feel a little better.

“Don’t worry about it, Sunburst," Starlight says. "It’s all just a little misunderstanding.”

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! :rainbowwild: Wrote this in no more than 2 hours. I wanted to experiment with a more unconventional style of writing, hope you liked it! I may continue this, depending on the response to this chapter. Until next time! :twilightsmile:

Chapter 2: The Tan Hua Bouquet

Starlight

Well.

It’s my first day working with Sunburst.

I barely slept last night.

I’m just so excited!

It’s barely dawn.

Is that the florist?

Yes!

Okay.

I’m gonna surprise him with some flowers for his first day.

He’s gonna love it!

Because, I mean. Who doesn’t love flowers?

Where’s the florist? There she is!

Up there in the window.

She still has her robe on.

What time is it?

Oh whelp.

She’s awake, that’s all that matters.

I can’t wait.

I teleport inside.

ZAP!

Wait nope nope nope. Wrong place, this isn’t the lobby, this is the second floor, this is a…bedroom? A spare bedroom? Wait, there’s a bed, and then there’s…

“SUNBURST!?” I scream.

Sunburst

Shit.

I overslept.

And now Starlight’s here to scold me about how I’m late for my first day of work.

Ugh.

I’m sorry Starlight!

Are the sheets wet?

Well I’m sitting on the wet spot.

So it’s fine.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“Oh don’t be! You don’t have to feel sorry that I didn’t know you were staying here.”

“Wait, what?”

She’s not mad at me for being late?

“So, why are you here?” Starlight asks.

Oh, Celestia.

She’s gonna flip out if I tell her the real reason.

I’ve already got a house in Ponyville. I’m sleeping at the florist’s because I bought a super rare bouquet of flowers for Trixie. They’re tan hua flowers. I just thought they’d set off Trixie’s mane really nicely.

Tan huas are special you see. They only reveal themselves at night.

Much like Trixie, really. Heh.

The florist said if I want a tan hua bouquet, I have to be there at the precise moment at night when the tan huas bloom. And my new home’s too far of a walk from the florist.

And that’s why I’m staying overnight at the florist.

Shortly before dawn, I put a special preservation spell on the tan hua flowers so they wouldn’t wilt. The flowers are hidden underneath my cape. Over there. Hanging on the door hook.

Why is Starlight staring at me?

Starlight

He’s biting his lip like he’s nervous to see me.

Awwwww.

It’s so damn cute.

He’s glancing at the door over there, and biting his lip. Poor thing’s worried that he’s gonna be late.

I’m headmare, so I’m his boss after all.

But he’s not late if I don’t mark him late.

How does it feel to have so much power? Sunburst may ask. And I’d say, Oh, I don’t put too much into it. With great power always comes great responsibility. And headmare/vice-headmare “meetings” in the old janitor’s closet.

“I hope you’re not mad, Starlight,” he says instead.

“Mad? Of course not, Sunburst!” I say. “I hope you’re not mad either. I mean, I barged into your room without asking.”

“Oh, yes! Erm…of course! This is…I…erm…my room! Most definitely…my room!”

So apparently, he’s staying in a room at the florist’s shop until he can find a place to live in Ponyville.

Not exactly private.

But that’s what the old janitor’s closet is for.

“Come,” I say. “I’ll take you to work.”

Trixie

What time is it?

Mmph.

What a nice sleep.

Trixie always sleeps better in her wagon.

That was a nice dream.

Who knew Starlight could do those things with her horn?

Teehee.

There’s a wet spot on the bed.

Did Trixie leak last night?

Trixie hopes that she leaked last night.

She'll cut the blanket where the wet spot is…and she’ll send it to Starlight. As a welcome gift of sorts.

What?

The Gay and Powerful Trixie is a dirty little mare. Deal with it.

It’s what happens when you don’t get any because everypony in Ponyville used to hate you.

Well, where’s those scissors?

Let’s see.

Ah, it’s here in the drawer…let's just put it here on the side table…

Side table.

Alarm clock.

It didn’t ring.

What time is it!?

9:31!?

Trixie is late!

Starlight’s going to kill her!

Quick! This is an emergency!

Teleportation spell…GO!

Teleportation spell…GO!

Teleportation…

Tele…

This a’int working.

Starlight

I just noticed. Sunburst has a bulge in his cape.

It looks…promising.

Mmm.

But no.

I must behave with dignity.

Like a lady.

But.

That bulge.

Ohh…

Am I sweating?

Sunburst

At least Starlight took a shower last night.

But all that sweat is getting trapped in her fur, and…

…ugh.

It’s not even 10 o’clock.

We’re at the Friendship School, in the main hallway.

Starlight walks into the last door on the left.

It’s my new office.

Well, this is really nice, I…

…OUCH!

I trip over something on the floor.

My cape comes loose.

“Flowers?” Starlight exclaims. “For me!?”

Oh shit.

How do I explain this. Trixie’s not here yet, but I…

“Erm…I…well…”

“Yes?” Starlight says.

Shit.

That’s it.

Starlight’s enslaving me in her village.

She doesn’t handle rejection well. Remember when we were foals? Can I play with you? I remember she said. Not anymore, I’m going to Canterlot because I got my cutie mark, I said. Guess what she did after that…? She kinda…almost destroyed Equestria?

Yeah, I’m dead.

Trixie

Where is everypony?

“Hello?”

Wait a minute.

This isn’t Trixie’s wagon.

YES!

The Gay and Powerful Trixie doth perfected the teleportation spell!

It took her far longer than if she had just walked!

But nonetheless.

YES!

Where is Trixie?

Oh right.

This is the hallway in the School of Friendship.

There’s Starlight’s new headmare office.

There’s Phyllis, sitting on the desk.

That pet plant.

Ugh. Trixie can’t bear the sight of that ghastly plant.

Well, everypony’s gotta make compromises in a relationship.

Like Trixie. Trixie is a Great and Powerful Compromiser. She compromises by…

By…

By…being kind. And providing a safeword.

And the safeword is “Sunburst.”

Why “Sunburst”?

Trixie isn't trying to boast about her sexual prowess…

…except she is…

….once Trixie gets Starlight into a passionate frenzy…Sunburst will be the last name on her mind.

Starlight

Oh, Sunburst!

“Ohhhh, Sunburst!” I say out loud.

The flowers Sunburst gave me…they sure are lovely.

Never mind he is being a bit crawly. Giving flowers to his boss on his first day of work.

Not that I mind crawliness. From him.

Let’s take a closer look…ah!

They’re tan huas.

Wow!

They’re super rare. And they only bloom at night, how could he have…

…no.

…I can’t.

“I can’t,” I say to Sunburst out loud. "I can't accept these flowers."

“Really?”

Wow, Sunburst is pretty damn cheery.

I’ll raise an eyebrow so he sees I smell a fish.

“Thank you for the flowers, Sunburst. I know you must’ve spent a ton of bits on them. But I can’t take them.”

Phyllis would be jealous, you see.

I already told her she's my favorite plant.

And I’m not sure how she’d deal with it.

“I’m happy with my Phyllis—my old plant, I mean,” I say.

Old. As in…old friend.

Sunburst takes the flowers back and hides it behind his cape again.

“Why don’t you give them to Trixie instead?” I suggest.

“REALLY!?” Sunburst exclaims. Geez.

Chill, Sunburst. Chill.

He’s really on edge today.

Which is good.

Maybe he’ll bite his lip again.

“Yeah. It’s both your first day at work,” I say. “I’m sure she’d appreciate it. I don’t mind.”

Sunburst thanks me.

Again. And again.

I raise my eyebrow again.

“Oh. Hee…sorry.”

Aww…that stallion.

He’s blushing.

Trying to hide his affection for me, I see.

Oh well.

I am like a lady. I have my dignity.

Two can play at this game.

“Where is Trixie, by the way?” he says, coolly.

“I think she’s still in her wagon,” I reply, coolly.

That stupid unicorn must’ve overslept on her first day. Dreaming about her (nonexistent) glory days as a stage magician, I’m sure.

“Well, what if she’s on her way?” Sunburst asks.

“Well…how about you go to Trixie’s wagon to wake her up,” I say, levitating him towards the door. “And I’ll stay here in case she shows up, hmm?”

“Okay, sure!”

He’s gone.

Good.

I know. I’m stupid.

I should’ve teleported myself to Trixie’s wagon while Sunburst stayed behind.

Makes more sense, right?

But I want to be alone.

I can pretend these tan huas are mine for a few minutes.

All. Mine.

Oh, they’re beautiful. Thank you, Sunburst. This is the most beautiful plant I’ve ever seen.

I hope Phyllis doesn’t get mad at me.

Trixie

The last door on the left.

It’s open.

Who’s inside?

Oh…it’s Starlight. And…

…are those flowers she’s holding!?

…tan huas?

They’re super rare!

They bloom at night. The flowers of the night. Of…dusk. Romance.

Ooooh.

The Gay and Powerful Trixie…fired her beam of love into Starlight’s heart.

And looks like she hit the spot~!

Starlight notices Trixie. “Trixie? There’s something I need to tell you.”

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!

Trixie can’t help herself.

She’s.

So.

Horny.

“Trixie…you okay?” Starlight says.

Oh, Starlight’s playing hard to get. Starlight does that a lot. She likes to be…ladylike.

Trixie understands.

Well.

Two can play at this game.

“Yes, Trixie is feeling quite regal, this morning,” Trixie says. “She apologizes for having slept past her alarm clock, but she was dreaming about you…and Trixie didn’t want to wake up.”

Wink!

She winks at Starlight.

“Oh, don’t worry about it Trixie. I’m supposed to mark you if you’re late, but I’ll let it slide. Here, before I forget, these flowers are for you.”

Starlight levitates the tan hua bouquet to Trixie.

Shit.

Trixie is not blushing.

Trixie. Is. Not. Blushing.

Trixie doesn’t fall to pieces, smiling like a little lovestruck filly just because her heartthrob gives her a bouquet of super rare tan hua flowers.

She…thinks, at least.

No!

No!

Nononononostopitstopit!

Whooo.

You got this Trixie.

Act cool.

Act Great.

Act…Powerful.

“Ah,” Trixie begins, “the Gay and Powerful Trixie is most impressed by the bouquet, Starlight. I gladly accept.”

“Wait, Trixie…did you just say…Gay and Powerful?”

“NO! I meant…”

Shit.

Trixie made a terrible mistake.

Trixie spoke in first person.

Sunburst

Well.

This stinks.

I run for 20 minutes all the way to Trixie’s wagon, hoping I’ll see her asleep, because…

…wouldn’t that be a lovely sight?

I could’ve pulled the blankets over her while she was asleep.

Listen to her sleeptalk about her great performances across Equestria.

On stage and off stage. And off off stage.

Oh Celestia, is it hot in here?

But no.

Trixie’s not here.

She must be on her way to the School.

Damn.

Damn you, Starlight.

You’re stupid.

You could’ve just teleported there, and I could’ve stayed behind!

Now I’ve wasted 20 minutes.

And I’ve still gotta head back to the school.

But…

…since I’m here.

I might take a peek inside her wagon.

Her bedsheets.

Is that a…stain?

Ohhhh…

It smells like her juices.

Mmmm.

Is there a pair of scissors?

Oh right here next to the alarm clock.

Okay.

Let’s cut the wet spot here.

Good.

That’s done it.

And I’ll put the little square of fabric in my cape pocket.

As a little…souvenir of her.

Ohhh…

Ohhh…

Ahhh…

Sorry.

The smell got to my head.

I’m finished now.

I did it in the grass.

It’ll wash away.

Alright then.

Time to head back to the School.

Hmm?

What?

Why would I ever cut up a piece of sex-juice-stained bedsheet, you say? You think I’m out of character?

Well, first of all. Every stallion masturbates. And any stallion would masturbate to a piece of bedsheet soaked with their crush’s sex juices. It’s the truth. Rather, the logical truth.

And second of all, I’m just following Trixie’s example.

No, seriously!

Come on. If Trixie were in my position—that is, being at the home of the pony they’re madly in love with while they’re not around—that’s exactly what she would have done.

Author's Note

To be continued, hopefully, if I have any new ideas. :trixieshiftright: Thanks for reading! Your comments are appreciated! :twilightsmile:

P. S. If anyone got the Crazy Rich Asians reference, kudos to you! :raritywink: