I'm Fine, Ok?

by Twilight star

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Romance
Length: 4422

Twilight knows very well that she must understand why Celestia and Luna want to retire. So why a part of her is sad that mostly Luna retires?

After King Sombra's defeat, Twilight can't shake the fact that one day Celestia and Luna will retire. She knows very well that this is childish of her. And Luna knows there's something wrong with Twilight Sparkle.

Published 2019-08-01 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-04 14:53:08 UTC

Chapter 1

The defeat of King Sombra was a success. Everypony was happy. Well, minus Twilight Sparkle. She was in her Friendship castle. She was looking at the stars. Just looking at the stars only reminded her of Luna. Luna… Since she helped Luna on Nightmare Night, she has developed feelings for the night princess. Just silly her. She had no courage to admit before, and now Celestia and especially Luna would retire when she is ready. She knew she has time to confess to Luna about how she feels. And who knows, if she confesses, Luna decides to stay with her in Equestria. She knew it was selfish of her. But she couldn’t deny those feelings of love she felt. She began to cry softly. Twilight knew she should have told Luna before they spoke of they retirement. Twilight Sparkle thought she had all lifetime to confess to Luna. But she was wrong, “Twilight, is everything okay?”

Twilight Sparkle heard Spike’s voice, “oh, yes. Don’t worry”, she wiped her tears with a hoof.

“Are you sure?” asked Spike.

“I said yes, Spike. Thanks for the concern”, smiled Twilight Sparkle.

“OK. If you need me, I’m always here”, said Spike, before leaving.

When Spike was out of sight, Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes and started crying again. She no longer wanted to look at the night sky. At least not today. It just reminded her of Luna. She decided to go to sleep.

When Twilight Sparkle woke up, she saw that it was still night. And for a strange reason she was at Canterlot Castle. That’s weird. Wasn’t she in her bedroom before? She started to walk. Until she entered the throne room and saw Luna and Celestia talking to Sunset Shimmer.

“So will you give me the power to raise and lower the sun?” asked Sunset Shimmer.

“Yes. And Twilight the power to raise and lower the moon”, replied Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle couldn’t believe it. Not long ago the princesses told her that she would only rule Equestria when she was ready. Did they lie to her?

Celestia realized that Twilight Sparkle was at the door, “ah. Hi Twilight. We need to talk”

Twilight Sparkle knew she would never do that. But she did. She ran away, “Twilight! Wait!”

But Twilight Sparkle didn’t listen, she kept running. She didn’t want to be without Luna by her side. But did she know it was possibly for the greater good? Tears came from her eyes.

Luna…. Why?

That’s enough!!

Suddenly, Dream Celestia, Dream Luna and Dream Sunset Shimmer disappeared. Luna appeared with a benevolent smile.

Luna… No… She can’t see me like this…

“Twilight? Why are you crying?” asked Luna worried.

Twilight Sparkle tried to smile, though she still had tears, “It’s nothing. It’s just dirt in the eyes”

Luna didn’t seem to believe, “Is something bothering you?”

“No, Luna. Why do you think that?” said Twilight Sparkle. She didn’t like to lie. But she didn’t want to confess to Luna how she felt. If she did that, she would break even more emotionally.

“You're crying. Come on, Twilight. You can trust me”, said Luna with a smile.

Sure. Until she leaves me and goes to a land far away from Equestria...

“Twilight, are you alright?”

“Yes. Why?”

“You made an angry face”, replied Luna.

“It’s just that I remembered something that happened before I went to sleep. That’s all”, said Twilight Sparkle.

Luna didn’t know if she believed it. Why did she feel that Twilight Sparkle was hiding something? Was it something she did? Suddenly she felt that Twilight Sparkle would wake up. She started to get out of the dream.

When Twilight Sparkle woke up, she couldn’t help noticing that her cheeks were wet. She knew she was crying. But She didn’t believe she would cry while sleep.

“Twilight! Breakfast!”

Twilight Sparkle was worried. How she would hide her tears. She grabbed some tissues and wiped it off. Now Twilight just hoped she didn’t cry again.

Celestia was eating the pancakes until she saw Luna, “Good morning, Luna. How did it go with your work?”

“Good”, answered Luna, a little sad and worried about the state of Twilight Sparkle in the dream.

“Luna? What happened?”

Luna sat at the table, “Twilight Sparkle was crying when we visited her in her dream”

“Do you know what she dreamed?” asked Celestia.

“I would ask her. But seeing her crying made me worried”, replied Luna.

Spike noted that Twilight Sparkle was eating fast, “No need to eat fast, Twilight”

Twilight Sparkle swallowed the pancake, “sorry, Spike. But I am in a hurry”

“To read books?”

“No. To stay in my bedroom”

Spike was worried about Twilight Sparkle. She wasn’t like that, “Is something bothering you?”

“I told you, Spike. No”, answered Twilight Sparkle.

“Then why are you gonna stay in your bedroom? Do you plan on reading in the bedroom?” asked Spike.

“Yes ... Yes. I plan to read in the bedroom”, replied Twilight Sparkle.

Spike didn’t know if he should worry about Twilight Sparkle. Twilight usually stayed outside with her friends. Did Twilight Sparkle go into depression?

When Twilight Sparkle and Spike were done eating, Twilight Sparkle grabbed some books from the shelf and ran into the bedroom. Spike was worried about Twilight Sparkle. Why did he feel that Twilight was lying to her?

Twilight, you’re not like that… Why are you hiding something from me?

Luna went to her bed to sleep. But she couldn’t sleep. She was worried about Twilight Sparkle. She wanted to help Twilight Sparkle. But how? She also wanted to know why Twilight Sparkle was crying. She had to find out. But how? Twilight Sparkle refuses to talk to her.

It was already dark, and Twilight Sparkle didn’t leave her room. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to confess to Luna that she loved her. But she was afraid of rejection. She was afraid that even if she confessed to Luna, Luna would decide to abandon her. She started to cry.

Chapter 2

When morning came, Twilight Sparkle was very sleepy. Yes, she didn’t sleep. It was hard to sleep being very sad. She was very sleepy and ended up falling into bed and sleeping.

Spike had already prepared the pancakes. He wondered if Twilight Sparkle had already woken up. He decided to go to the bedroom and saw Twilight Sparkle sleeping with abdomen down. He let out a breath. Spike didn’t understand why Twilight was hiding something from him. Was it that bad for Twilight to be hiding something from him?

When Twilight Sparkle woke up, it was already dusk. Wow, she was really sleepy. She decided to eat something. Luckily, the pancakes were still on the table.

Thank you, Spike.

Twilight Sparkle started eating the pancake. She already knew what to do after eating, watching the night sky. But she knew it was going to hurt. Because it will remind her of Luna and she would cry, possibly.

When Twilight Sparkle finished eating, she went to the balcony and stared at the night sky. And what she thought about remembering Luna’s night sky was true. Because she started to cry.

Luna, why? Why are you wanting to retire? Who gave you this ridiculous idea?

Twilight Sparkle began to cry. Again. If anypony saw her cry, they would probably think she was still a foal. When she rules Equestria, she knows she can get help from her friends. But she knows that her friends aren’t immortal like her. Being alicorn was good, but it had a disadvantage. You’re bound to see who you love to die. And that was one of the reasons she didn’t want to rule Equestria. She never wanted that. First of all, she never wanted to be an alicorn princess, because of immortality. She just wanted to be a student of Celestia. But it all went so fast. When Luna confessed to her, Spike and her friends about the retirement it made Twilight’s heart break. But she still loved Luna.

“Twilight, are you alright?”

Twilight Sparkle wiped her tears with her hoof before looking at Spike, “yes, Spike”

“Please, Twilight. Let me help you. You aren't like that. You know you can trust me, ”said Spike.

“Spike, you wouldn’t understand!”

Spike was surprised by the tone of Twilight, “Of course I would understand”

“No, Spike. You don’t know what it means to love another mare”

“What?”

Damn it.

“Love another mare? Are you liking a mare?” asked Spike.

Twilight Sparkle blew out a breath before confessing, “Yes, Spike. I’m liking a mare”

“Is it somepony That I know?”

“Yes, Spike”

“Could you tell me?” asked Spike.

“Do you promise not to tell to anypony?” asked Twilight Sparkle, almost desperate.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye”, Spike made the Pinkie Promise

“Okay, Spike. I’ll tell you,” Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath before confessing. “I’m liking Luna”

“Wow. I didn’t expect that”, said Spike.

“See, Spike? You don’t understand. I don’t know why I decided to tell”, said Twilight Sparkle, almost about to cry.

“No, Twilight. I understand. Because I’m in love with Rarity”, said Spike.

“But she’s a mare and you’re a dragon”, pointed out Twilight Sparkle.

“Yes. But what matters is that I like her ”, said Spike.

Twilight started crying again.

What if Luna don’t like me? And if she wants to leave because she doesn’t like me?

“Twilight, why are you crying again?” asked Spike.

“I’m afraid Luna wants to leave because she doesn’t like me”, replied Twilight Sparkle, still crying.

“Twilight, she and Celestia are ruling Equestria for over a thousand years. They deserve a break”, said Spike.

“I know. But I don’t want Celestia and especially Luna going to a faraway land”, Twilight Sparkle began to cry even more. She knew this was childish of her, but she didn’t want to be away from Luna.

“Why don’t you confess to Luna?” asked Spike.

“But, but, I don’t know how to confess….” said Twilight Sparkle, still with tears in her eyes.

“I can help you. We can do a roleplay. I can be Luna and you can be yourself”, said Spike.

Twilight Sparkle smiled, though tears still remain in her eyes, “It’s a good idea, Spike”

When the morning came, Twilight Sparkle went into the kitchen, grabbed a jar of ice cream and lay in bed while crying. Spike entered the room, “Twilight”

Twilight Sparkle looked at Spike, still with tears in his eyes, “What’s up, Spike?”

“Shall we play roleplay?” asked Spike.

“Spike, I’m not in the right moment for this”, replied Twilight Sparkle.

“Twilight, if you don’t act, you can never confess to Luna how you feel. You can’t just be whining”, said Spike.

Twilight Sparkle thought before answering, “yes. You’re right, Spike... ”

Spike smiled.

“... I’m too childish to cry for nothing!!” Twilight Sparkle grabbed a pillow and lay on her back.

Spike didn’t expect that answer. He thought she would compliment him. He went to the bed, “Twilight, that’s not what I meant”

“But deep down you could mean that. I don’t know how you put up with an alicorn that is a whining foal!”

“I don’t mean that you're a foal. You need to act, not whine. If you just mourn, you can never tell Luna how you feel”, said Spike.

“Okay, Spike. Lets do this”, said Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle got out of bed and walked into the living room, “Now, imagine I’m Princess Luna”, said Spike.

Twilight had an idea, “I already know! I’ll use an illusion spell on you”

“That’s a good idea, Twilight”, agreed Spike.

Twilight Sparkle made magic come out of its horn and caused a smoke to appear on Spike. When the smoke disappeared, Luna was there.

Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath, “Luna, I would like to confess that… That…”

Twilight Sparkle remembered Celestia and Luna talking about their retirements. She ran off while she had tears in her eyes.

When Twilight Sparkle came out, Luna disappeared and Spike was in place. Spike took a deep breath.

It will be harder than I thought.

Chapter 3

Twilight Sparkle was in her bedroom crying. It was no use. Whenever she saw Luna now, it would only remind her of the retirement. That one day she would never see Luna again. Spike entered the bedroom, “Twilight”

“Not now, Spike”, said Twilight Sparkle, still crying.

“I wasn’t Luna, that was just an illusion spell, remember?” explained Spike.

“I know, Spike. But it’s no use. Every time I see Luna, it will only remind me of her retirement”, said Twilight, even sadder and with more tears coming from her eyes.

“Twilight, you can’t just be crying. Don’t you want to confess to Luna how you feel?”

“Yes. But my sadness is much greater!” exclaimed Twilight Sparkle.

Suddenly they heard a sound at the door, Spike went to answer it and saw Pinkie Pie.

“Hi Spike. Is Twilight’s here?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“Yes. She’s in the bedroom”, replied Spike.

“Can I ask her for her help? I need her to help me with the Cupcakes”, said Pinkie Pie excitedly.

“I’m going there”, said Spike, before heading to the Twilight’s bedroom.

“Twilight, you have visitors”, said Spike.

“Who was it?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“Pinkie Pie. She needs your help with the Cupcakes”, replied Spike.

“I’m not in the mood right now”, said Twilight Sparkle.

“Come on, Twilight. It is a friend who needs help. You never fail to help a friend”, Spike tried to cheer up Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle thought before letting out a breath, “ok, I will”

Twilight Sparkle got out of bed, wiped her tears with her hoof and walked to the door, “Twilight, ready to make Cupcakes?”

“Yes ...” answered Twilight Sparkle sadly.

“What happened to Twilight?” asked Pinkie Pie, noting that Twilight Sparkle was sad.

“It’s nothing, it’s just that I’m not having a good day”, said Twilight Sparkle.

“I know what can cheer you up! A party!”

“No need, Pinkie. Really”

“But you’re sad. And it’s a must for Pinkie Pie to cheer on her friends!” said Pinkie Pie.

All Twilight Sparkle’s friends were at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie threw a party to cheer up Twilight Sparkle. Even with the party, Twilight couldn’t cheer up. She let out a breath, tears in her eyes. She was in a corner, lying down.

“What’s up, Sugarcube?” asked Applejack, approaching Twilight Sparkle. The others also approached.

“Nothing, Applejack”, replied Twilight Sparkle, about to cry.

“Twilight's sad”, Pinkie Pie answered Applejack’s question.

“Pinkie!”

“Twilight, what bothers you?” asked Applejack.

“You ... you ... you won’t understand ...” replied Twilight Sparkle, almost crying.

“Come on, Twilight. We’re your friends. You can trust us”, said Appleajack with a smile.

“I like a mare!” confessed Twilight Sparkle, now crying.

A silence. Until…

“What’s the mare’s name?” asked Applejack.

“.... Luna”, cried Twilight Sparkle.

“Twilight, there’s nothing wrong with liking a princess”, said Rarity.

“That’s not the problem”, said Twilight Sparkle.

“So what’s the matter?” asked Rarity.

“I have been in love with Luna since I helped Luna at Nightmare Night. But I was too shy to confess. And when Luna said she was going to retire, my heart broke”, answered Twilight Sparkle.

“Don’t you love her anymore?” asked Rarity in a startled and surprised way.

“I still love her. But after she confessed that she will retire. I got depressed. I want to confess to Luna that I love her. But I don’t know how. I’ve been so sad lately… ” replied Twilight Sparkle.

“Don’t worry, Twilight. We’ll do our best to cheer you up and help you confess to Luna”, said Pinkie Pie.

“Thanks, Girls”, smiled a little Twilight Sparkle.

It was nighttime, and Luna saw that Twilight and her friends had left Sugarcube Corner. She couldn’t help but notice that Twilight Sparkle was leaving Sugarcube Corner sadly with Spike.

“Come on, Twilight. Cheers up”, said Spike.

“It’s no use, Spike. Nothing will make me happy”, said Twilight Sparkle.

“I’m sure Luna…”

“Don’t talk about her. She may be listening!”

“Twilight, she must be in the dream world. There’s no way she can hear us”, said Spike.

“Silence, Spike. We don’t know if she’s here”, Twilight Sparkle started looking around. Left, right and up.

“Oh no”, said Twilight Sparkle fearfully as she looked up.

“What’s up, Twilight?” asked Spike.

“I see a figure in the sky. I think it’s Luna. Fast! We need to get away!” said Twilight Sparkle before running off. Spike followed Twilight.

Luna realized that Twilight was running. She didn’t understand why Twilight was running away. Was Twilight afraid of her? “Twilight! Wait! We just want to talk!”

But Twilight didn’t want to hear. Until she remembered something.

Wait. Why me and Spike don’t did we teleport?

While running, Twilight carried her magic and teleported along with Spike to her castle. When they arrived at the castle, Twilight Sparkle looked at Spike, “Spike, I fear Luna knows where my castle is. Do you think I should activate a shield around the castle?”

Spike glanced at Twilight Sparkle, “Twilight, I know you’re nervous about Luna. But you should know she just wants to help you. She wants to understand what’s going on”

“But Spike, I’m not ready to tell Luna what I’m feeling”, argued Twilight Sparkle.

“Okay”, was all Spike could say.

“Thanks, Spike”, said Twilight Sparkle, before using her magic and making a shield appear around the castle.

When Luna arrived at the site of Twilight Sparkle’s castle, she noticed a pink shield around the castle. She let out a breath.

Twilight, I just want to help you. Why are you so hard?

Luna flew off to Canterlot. Maybe your sister could talk to Twilight Sparkle?

Twilight Sparkle was looking out a window and saw Luna fly away. She turned her back, “phew”

Twilight Sparkle looked at Spike, “Come on, Spike. Let’s practice. I’ll put an illusion spell on you”

“Ok, Twilight. I’m ready”, said Spike with a soldier stance.

Magic came out of the Twilight Sparkle horn and went to Spike. A pink smoke filled the room. When it was gone, Luna was in place.

Chapter 4

When morning came, Luna went to the dining room to talk to Celestia, “Good morning, Luna”, greeted Celestia.

“Good morning, sister,” said Luna. “We need to talk”

“About what?” asked Celestia.

“Twilight Sparkle has been so sad lately. I don’t know why. Could you go talk to her since Twilight isn’t in the mood to talk to me?” said Luna.

“Of course, Luna”, said Celestia.

At the castle, Twilight Sparkle already deactivated the shield and she was training how to talk to Luna. She already put the illusion spell on Spike, “Luna… I… I’d like to say that I can’t accept it… I can’t be without you. If you leave, take me along. I... I love you. Since I helped you at Nightmare Night… I… I… ” tears started to flow. She canceled the illusion spell.

“You’re doing great, Twilight”, said Spike.

Twilight Sparkle smiled, though she still has tears, “Thank you, Spike”

Suddenly they heard a sound of hooves pounding on the door, “I’ll answer it”, said Spike.

When Spike was surprised, “p-princess Celestia! What are you doing here?”

“I’ve heard that Twilight Sparkle has been sad lately. Can I come in and talk to her?” said Celestia.

“Wait here. I’ll see with Twilight”, said Spike, before entering.

Twilight Sparkle was in her room, waiting for Spike. The door was closed. Spike entered the room, “So, Spike? Who was?”

“Princess Celestia,” replied Spike. “Should I let her in?”

Twilight Sparkle got nervous. What if Celestia came because Luna asked her sister to come? As much as Twilight liked Celestia’s company, she couldn’t accept, “sorry, Spike. But, no. I can’t fall for Luna’s trick”

“Twilight, she came alone. Luna is in the castle”, Spike tried to convince Twilight Sparkle.

“I know. But what if she tells Luna? I won’t risk it”, said Twilight Sparkle.

“Okay, Twilight…” said Spike, before leaving and going to the castle’s front door.

“She said no. So, I think you better get going”, said Spike, before wiggling his paws as if he told her to leave.

Celestia was surprised. She hoped Twilight would want to see her. But it seemed the problem was more serious than she thought, “ok, Spike. I am going”

Spike watched Celestia fly off. He let out a breath.

In a little while, Twilight won’t even want to leave home.

When the moon rose on the horizon, Luna looked at her sister, “so? Got?”

“No, Luna. The problem is more serious than we imagined”, replied Celestia.

Luna was surprised. Whatever the reason why Twilight Sparkle was sad, possibly Twilight didn’t want the others to know. Luna didn’t understand why Twilight didn’t want help. She could help her. But Twilight Sparkle refused. Whatever the reason, she intended to find out tonight.

Twilight Sparkle was staring at the night sky while crying. She should stop crying and act. But her sadness was greater than any other feeling she felt.

Luna, please. Tell me you won’t go to a faraway land. If you are going away, please take me along with you and Celestia. I don’t want to be alone forever…

Twilight Sparkle got up and started singing.

Ever since I saw you at Nightmare Night, I’ve seen a princess who was misunderstood. I knew i was the right pony to help you…

When I saw you, I fell in love. But I was so shy that I didn’t even have the courage to tell you. Thinking I had my whole life to confess to you.

Whenever I saw you, I felt nothing but joy. Your smile, always catching the others around you. And always making me happy when you smile at me. But now that you will retire, I don’t think I can confess that… Luna, I love you.

When Twilight Sparkle finished singing she started crying again. What she didn’t know was that Luna listened to the song Twilight Sparkle sang. And she felt something new in her heart: Passion.

Luna stepped out of the cloud and was thinking about Twilight.

She loves Me. So this is why she’s crying? So this is why is she sad? Twilight, if I knew you loved me since my first Nightmare Night… I would have… I would have… Twilight, I’ll talk to Celestia. Don’t worry, Twilight. This is for us!

Twilight Sparkle was now in her bed. Crying. There were tissues on a side table next to the lamp. She wanted nothing more than Luna to stay in Equestria with her. She heard the door open, “Twilight, are you there? Let’s practice?”

“Ok, Spike…” replied Twilight Sparkle.

They went into the living room, Twilight Sparkle used the illusion spell on Spike. And now, who was in place was Luna.

“It can start”, said Luna.

“Okay, Luna,” Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath before starting. “Luna, I… I love you. Since our first Nightmare Night together, I’ve developed feelings of love for you. I always loved your night. I always watch the night sky quite often. You can’t leave, Luna. Not for far from Equestria. Luna, please stay with me. For me. If you’re going away, take me along, please. I don’t want to be alone”

Luna cheered, “Very well, Twilight. I see you have improved. You didn’t even cry”

Twilight Sparkle blushed, “thanks, Spike. I think I’m ready to confess to Luna”

When morning came, Luna went to Celestia, who was eating pancakes, “Sister, I found out why Twilight Sparkle is sad”

Celestia swallowed the piece of pancake before saying, “Really? Which is?”

“She’s sad that we, especially me, have to retire. She loves me, sister. I can’t just let Equestria”, replied Luna.

Celestia was surprised. She didn’t expect Twilight Sparkle to love Luna, “since when did she feel that about you?”

“Since my first Nightmare Night”, replied Luna.

“Wow. She must have been feeling this way for years”, said Celestia.

“Yes Sister. Please let me stay. I can’t leave Twilight”, asked Luna. But it sounded more like begging.

“Of course Luna”, said Celestia.

“Thank you, Celestia!” Luna went to Celestia and hugged.

Chapter 5

Twilight Sparkle was in her room crying. the scarves were on the coffee table and on the floor. There were a lot of them. She teleported a bin and threw all the papers into the bin at once. She heard the sound of the door. Not from the bedroom door. But from the castle entrance. She expected Spike to answer. But she didn’t know where Spike went. She was still sad that Luna had to leave. With tears in her eyes, she answered the door. It was Luna. Twilight tried to wipe away the tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of Luna.

“Twilight, you don’t have to cry anymore”, said Luna with a smile.

“It’s easy for you to talk, Luna. You don’t understand what it means when somepony falls in love with a princess. But then the princess of Equestria has to retire”, said Twilight a little angry. There were still tears in her eyes.

“Twilight, I heard the song you sang”, said Luna as she wiped Twilight’s tears with a hoof.

Twilight Sparkle was surprised, “really?”

“Really, Twilight,” replied Luna with a smile. “I never imagined that Celestia’s student would fall in love with me since helping me at Nightmare Night”

“Please, Luna. Don’t retire. I don’t want to be without you. You’re the reason I love your night. Without you, I will only feel sad to see your night sky”, confessed Twilight Sparkle, now crying a lot. She hugged Luna’s hooves.

“Twilight, stay calm. I’m not leaving anymore”, said Luna.

Twilight Sparkle stopped crying and looked at Luna in surprise, “Really?”

“That’s right, Twilight,” replied Luna with a smile. “And when I heard your song, I found that I fell in love with you”

Twilight Sparkle hugged as she wept with joy, “Thank you, Luna. I thought you would never feel the same as me. I thought you would retire and never return what I feel for you”

Luna hugged Twilight Sparkle, “Don’t worry, Twilight. I talked to Celestia and she let me stay in Equestria, and now I won’t leave you. Never”