Living In A Van Down By The River

by Peni Parker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adagio Dazzle, Random, Sonata Dusk, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Aria Blaze
Length: 1273

The Dazzlings live in a van down by the river.

After losing their magic The Dazzlings are stuck living in a van down by the river. That is, until Sonata delivers some good news.

Published 2019-08-05 17:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-05 17:10:02 UTC

Living in a Van Down by the River

Life had been difficult for the Dazzlings after being defeated by the Rainbooms. They had lost their magic, their ability to sing, and were now living in a van down by the river.

“Ugh,” Aria Blaze groaned as she lay on the back floor of the van, “why do we have to live like this?”

“Because we don’t have any other choice,” Adagio Dazzle replied from the driver seat as she brushed her hair in the visor mirror, annoyed at having to answer that question for the third time this week, “when we lost our magic we couldn’t hypnotize the landlord into letting us have our apartment for free anymore. We were lucky we had enough money put away to afford this van.”

“I get that part,” Aria said as she sat up, “by why do we have to park the van down by the river?”

Adagio stopped brushing her hair and turned to face her disgruntled sister.

“Because,” she started to answer, her annoyance more obvious now, “we can’t even afford to live in a trailer park and the cops don’t patrol this area much.”

Aria rolled her eyes as she lay back down on the floor, bored out of her mind.

“So where’s Sonata?” She dryly asked. She didn’t really care where Sonata was or what she was doing, she was just looking for some conversation to help break her boredom.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Adagio just as dryly stated, “She just said she felt like going for a walk and wondered off somewhere.”

“What if she fell into the river?” Aria quipped as a small smile crossed her face, imagining her sister clumsily falling into the river and being swept away by the rushing water.

“Haha, very funny.” Adagio sarcastically commented.

“Hey, she’s done clumsier things.” Aria stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Adagio didn’t reply to Aria’s statement (partially because she knew it was true) and simply went back to styling her hair. The visor mirror made it difficult to get her hair the way she liked it because it was so small and her hair was so large and poofy. But, much like living in a van down by the river, she had no other alternative.

The silence in the van lasted for about five minutes before Aria spoke up again.

“I’m gonna make some lunch,” she said as she sat up once again.

“Make some for me too while you’re at it,” Adagio replied.

Aria didn’t like being bossed around by Adagio like that, but she wasn’t in the mood to make a big deal about it and just decided to make her sisters lunch as well.

“Whatever,” she answered back as she crawled over to the kitchen area.

The Dazzling’s van had a small kitchenette complete with a toaster, mini-fridge, sink, some burners, and a few cabinets for storage. The mini-fridge was mostly filled with soft drinks and bottled water but did contain a few small packets of shredded cheese and taco meat. The storage cabinets contained a few loafs of bread, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, some taco shells, plates, and eating utensils.

As Aria opened one of the cabinets she pondered what to make for lunch. In reality, she knew she only had two choices; PB&J sandwiches or tacos. She was tempted to make tacos for herself and Adagio, but noticing that doing so would leave none for Sonata she decided against it. If there was one way she wasn’t going to mess with Sonata, it was when it came to tacos.

“I’m going to make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” Aria stated.

“Uh-huh,” Adagio half-mindedly replied, paying more attention to her hair than what Aria was saying.

The sandwiches were easy enough for Aria to make, taking her no longer than a minute a sandwich. She took out a knife to cut her own sandwich in half diagonally and the crusts off of Adagio’s.

“Here you go,” she said as she placed a plate with Adagio’s sandwich on the center console between the driver and passenger seats.

“Thanks,” Adagio once again half-mindedly replied, showing no real gratitude in her voice.

Aria ignored her sister’s less-than-appreciative response and sat back down on the floor and started digging in to her sandwich. All-in-all, Aria felt that she did a pretty good job making lunch, not that making PB&J sandwiches was especially difficult, she knew, but she still took some pride in how her creation came out.

Just as Adagio was about to start eating her own sandwich, the door to the van flew open.

“Girls, girls!” Sonata Dusk exclaimed as she got in the van and closed the door behind her.

Both Adagio and Aria couldn’t help but notice that Sonata was even more hyper than usual, which in their experience was never a good sign.

“What?” Aria asked, “Can’t you see I’m eating lunch here?”

“I have great news,” Sonata continued, practically ignoring Aria’s words, “We don’t have to live in this van down by the river anymore!”

“And why is that?” Adagio inquired in a completely patronizing way.

“I got us jobs!” Sonata explained.

Adagio and Aria shared a glance that seemed to say ‘You want to ask or should I?’

“Jobs doing what?” Aria asked as she returned her attention to Sonata.

“Motivational speaking!” Sonata proclaimed.

Both Aria and Adagio nearly choked on their sandwiches upon hearing what Sonata had just said.

“Motivational speaking? You can’t be serious.” Aria finally said after coughing up a few pieces or sandwich.

“But I am serious, for realizes. I ran into Sunset Shimmer and…” Sonata started to say before being cut off by Adagio.

“Sunset Shimmer?! What were you doing even talking to her? She’s the reason we’re stuck in this stupid van down by this stupid river.” She angrily professed.

“I know, I know, but hear me out,” Sonata pleaded, “I ran into Sunset and she asked how we were doing. I told her that we were living in this van down by the river and she was genuinely concerned about us. She said that Principal Celestia is looking for some motivational speakers to help distraught students at CHS and thought we’d be perfect for it.”

“And Principal Celestia agreed to this?” Aria wondered.

“Well, Sunset hasn’t talked to her yet,” Sonata admitted, “but she said she was confident she could convince her, especially if we went with her to plead our case.”

“Okay, assuming Celestia is okay with this,” Adagio interjected, “How does it get us out of the van and away from the river?”

“Oh, we’d be paid of course,” Sonata said, “And Sunset said she’d let us stay with her until we could afford our own place.”

Once again, Aria and Adagio shared a look. It was clear that neither of them was particularly thrilled about being motivation speakers, or about living with Sunset Shimmer, but if it got them out of the van and away from the river they couldn’t really complain.

“Okay, we’ll do it,” Adagio relented.

“Whatever,” Aria replied.

“Great!” Sonata joyfully shouted, “Sunset said we can meet her at CHS. Let’s go!”

Adagio quickly finished her sandwich before starting the van and heading off to CHS.

“One thing I still don’t get,” Aria commented, “What made Sunset think we’d be perfect for this job?”

“I don’t know,” Sonata said, “I guess there’s just something about living in a van down by the river that makes you a good motivational speaker.”

Author's Note

Inspired by Sunset's Backstage Pass and a classic SNL skit.