"Princess Celestia? The scouts are scheduled to return from the gate shortly, if you want to see them right away please make sure to be ready to go by chariot within the hour. As soon as we have word of their safe return we'll head over there right away."

The sudden noise of one of her faithful guards jerked me out of my contemplation as I looked up to see blue maned and golden clad stallion. I don't know when they started to all dye their manes like that so they all looked the same but I never had the heart to tell them how silly it was. With a warm smile of amusement I nodded and replied with all the regality of the ruler of Equestria.

"Of course my beloved Sunspark, I shall be ready to go at any time. Please have the carriage prepared and inform me the moment you know they are back." Seeing him nod but hesitate I added "Do not forget to close the door on your way, I have much to think about and would appreciate a lack of distraction."

He sheepishly nodded and left, being careful to quietly close the door on his way out. I don't blame him for not wanting to leave me alone. These are troubled times and the throne room has not been absent from guards or courtiers for nearly an age.

I shifted my body on my throne a bit to ease the pinching of my regalia and slowly slumped back into the train of thought that had been going around in circles in my mind since that time a week ago.

The sudden news that the black gates had been blown open shocked me to my very core. It should have been impossible for them to be opened from the other side, yet it happened nonetheless. I immediately sent the entire Equestrian Expeditionary Corps out to guard the entrance but nothing happened for a whole day until a single pony stumbled out and almost died right there, covered in blood. That surprised me the most, out of everything I put in there the last thing I expected to come out was a pony, maybe TIrek or something but not a pony.

The reports I got were mildly disturbing as well, they had rushed her to the closest hospital where they magically induced a trauma coma and then shipped her to Canterlot Hospital. The doctors there were bewildered by what they discovered during her time there over the last week. Apparently she had .001% body fat in total... way less than the survivable norm but because of the mass of muscle she had she looked perfectly normal and also her stomach was almost nonexistent, the organ had quite literally devoured itself. Her throat was also torn completely and a numerous host of other internal organ issues that just baffled them. They couldn't figure out what the cause was and while I wanted to, I couldn't tell them about the conditions in Tartarus, it was one of my darker secrets. Nopony should be allowed to find that out.

I wish I knew who this mysterious mare is though. All they could determine was that she was, as the head physician said, "The most ripped mare of a unicorn I had ever seen." I felt myself smiling at the memory of almost spitting out my morning coffee over that report. The smile quickly faded though, as the report went on to say that since the mare's body had been so thoroughly burnt there was no cutie mark to identify them. They were hoping to get some answers after she had woken up but the wait was driving me up the wall. Which one is this? I haven't thrown many ponies in there over the years but since I wasn't allowed to see the one I could not be sure who it was, I'm sure though that I would recognize them if i just saw them but the Royal Guard had been quite insistent on this, fearing for my life, and so I was stuck sitting and brooding until the doctors found out for me.

A loud crash startled me and I looked over to see a white bald pony sail in through one of the windows... wait not they're not bald or white! My shocked mind struggled to process this all at once, it was a heavily bandaged unicorn... The one from Tartarus! They looked so hurt, so beat up. Why are they here? Bandages trailed around everywhere and blood dripped from a dozen different cuts onto my carpet. I locked eyes with this poor soul and nearly fell out of my throne.

Never once in my long long life had I ever seen such raw hate, such fire and rage as I do now. I couldn't think, couldn't move as I bore witness to such baleful hate. It scared me down to my core and I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time... terror. I could not look away from those eyes, I barely even noticed her predatory smile above her blazing aquamarine eyes, one red as the blood on the carpet. Wait... her eyes...

Sunset Shimmer?

That name was all I had time to think about before she teleported over to me and with a scream fit for a banshee she hit me on my shoulder with enough force to dislocate my foreleg. I grimaced in pain as I heard a sickening crunch and a cascade of cracking sounds. I glanced down and saw that she had literally hit me so hard her entire leg had crumpled into a pulp and there were at least a dozen or more bones sticking out in all sorts of places. The sight almost made me pass out and as I closed my eyes a thought came to me, she didn't teleport to me that was her own raw strength!

Oh Sunset... what did you do?

A moan snapped me back into the moment and as I opened my eyes and I could see her eyes almost rolling into the back of her head from the pain. A perverse thought came into my head... Was she enjoying this? Before I could even think I saw her glance up at me and then quickly look at my shoulder. A wave of anger crossed her face already twisted with rage and I could clearly see that she was upset that her blow just a moment ago didn't do more. Is she trying to kill me? No I won't let her!

My ponies needed me, Equestria needs me and I won't leave them in the hands of this monster! With a look of determination I saw her rear back to try and hit me in the face but this I wasn't going to be hit a second time. I quickly conjured the toughest shield I thought of first and at the same time from behind its protective shell I locked the throne room door. Nopony in the guards could even hope to stand up to her. With that kind of strength a normal pony would have been punched right through if she hit them. They didn't stand a chance.

I heard the most demonic blood spewing growl I had ever heard as Sunset hit my shield with a terrifyingly huge blow. Shattering it in one hit and splitting her other hoof right up the middle. As I saw the shards of my shield fall around me I looked up at her insane, triumphant face and I could swear I saw my own terrified look reflected from her eyes.

How in Equestria is she this STRONG?!?

My shield should have been able to indefinitely hold off a dragon? How is this possible???

Before I could react I saw her fire up her horn and I braced myself for the oncoming magical attack but it never came? I opened my eyes just in time to see her destroyed left leg, encased in magic swing at my face and I felt one of her bones ram itself deep into my eye.

AUGHHHHHHHHH!

Pain, more than I had ever felt before in my life suddenly filled my mind and made me shriek hard enough to shatter all the windows in the throne room. I writhed in pain as it consumed every fiber of my psyche. I can't see, I can't see! Panic and shock flooded my bones as I shrieked and clutched my eye. In a panic I pushed hard in every direction with my magic. I need to get her off of me!

Feeling the bone slide itself out of my eye was both the now second most painful thing I had ever felt and the most disturbing. Who even fights like that! It's insane and so self destructive! It's like she doesn't care if she makes it out of here alive! With the bone out of my eye I doubled over in agony, clutching my face as I turned to face the madmare.

Opening my good eye I saw her flying face first to the other end of the throne room, she twisted in mid air to get a look at me and I saw a bloody smirk cover her face right as she hit the wall square on her back... hard. I heard a loud crack even from way over here.

I nearly blacked out right then from the intense waves throbbing throughout my entire body as I continued to scream but I barely managed to keep my eye open as I saw her lifelessly slump to the ground and struggle to get up. Did I just break her back and paralyze her? Looking at the panicked look on her face I think that's what just happened.

Good

If that's the case then she will never be a threat to Equestria again, what can she do if she can't even walk? Slowly collecting myself, I used my magic to dull the pain in my eye as I slowly and shakily stood up. As I looked around I snorted a glob of blood that had run down my eye into my nose and noticed the blood splattered all over the throne and myself, large pools of it covered the floor... her blood. I shook my head, stay in the moment Celestia! As I got off the throne and slowly started to walk over to her, I barely kept my body from slumping over. I had to keep it slow and deliberate, I wouldn't let her see me crawl over to her.

As I slowly made my way over to her I couldn't help but think... did I do this? I thought I was just doing what was right for Equestria, I thought she would just die or find somewhere to hide and mope for eternity. What kind of ruler am I if I can inspire this one little pony to go to such lengths just to kill me? She was my precious student once! How could I go so wrong? I felt anger well up in me at myself, why does this always happen to me.

Noticing a glow I stopped to look at her and I saw she had lit up her horn and picked up her own body like some sick ponies idea of a puppet. Blood and bones were everywhere, streaming down both of her ruined legs as she hung lifelessly in the air for a moment, her eyes bright and full of fire as she contemptuously stared at me with those terror inducing eyes as I could only look back. What is she trying to do?

Without a sound she flung her body at me as fast as a blink, seeing her literally fling herself at me I yelled in horror and raised my hooves to protect my face, it was the only thing I could think of doing with this macabre assault. The sight of this bloody and grinning maniac made me close my eye in fear and brace myself. With a shudder I felt my hooves sink into something soft and I heard the most disturbing squelching sound I had ever heard. Opening my eye I saw that she had flung herself at me with enough force to totally push one of my hooves through her shoulder, ripping that limb entirely off while my other hoof was buried deep in her chest. The stench of blood and antiseptic filled my nose and with a small whimper I looked up and saw her eyes had lost some of their intensity... How is she even still alive right now? Oh gods oh gods shes still trying to kill me even like this!

I saw her weakly try to pull herself further down my hoof and I could tell she was trying to stab me in the already ruined eye with her horn. I turned my head away as I almost threw up from the sight of this struggling bloody mess of a mare. In disgust I pushed her away and off of me before . With a loud splat she flew off and onto the floor nearby, a bloody and pulpy mess. She was still staring at me though, with seemingly no regard to herself she just kept staring at me...

Why? Why do you hate me so much? You would have done the same thing if our places were swapped! I rationalized to myself. I watched her lying there, bleeding out and sure to be dead any moment now as my thoughts raced out of control. How did it come to this? I just sent you to Tartarus because you were going to destroy Equestria! What was I supposed to do? How did I go so wrong with my own student? Did I create this? I mentally gestured to the ruined lump that used to be Sunset on the ground.

I must have. My face sagged in horror as I realized that there is no way she was born like this, ponies aren't born monsters... they're made into monsters and I am responsible for this...

I saw her eyes slowly start to droop like she was going to sleep. Is she going to die? I watched with terror as her horn feebly light up as she slowly dragged her body across the floor, leaving a long and wide trail of blood across the floor. She's on death's doorstep and she's still trying to kill me? How consumed can a pony get? I felt myself unconsciously take a step or two back from the sheer willpower of her coming after me.

Getting close to my leg her magic finally died out and her body finally went still. Even in death her eyes never left me, her lifeless eyes, framed by a face twisted in desperation and rage. She would never stop looking at me.

Slumping down to the ground and clutching my ruined eye I couldn't look away from that face, it would haunt my nightmares for a long time now but this nightmare is over.

With a loud crash almost startling myself out of my own body I saw the throne room door bang open and a dozen guards rush inside. Looking around for just a moment at the carnage they all started to rush over to protect me.

"I am fine and the threat is no more, leave me!" I declared loudly at the guards. They stopped but didn't leave. Obviously torn between their duty to protect me and their duty to follow my orders.

No I don't want them to see me like this, I want to weep but cannot. Please just go away, leave me alone. Just go... Just

"GO!" I yelled at them with the Royal Canterlot Voice, I only used this when the need arises and now was definitely the time.

I watched them jump up a bit at the sudden increase of volume and scramble out and close the door behind them. With a sigh I looked around somberly at all of Sunset's blood coating the throne room. Looking back at her I could only feel regret, how could I not? Staring into those lifeless hate filled eyes I was full of regret at myself.

I pushed her to this, I screwed up... I'm not fit to be a teacher of anypony much less a ruler. What was going through her head all those years in Tartarus? I felt new pain as tears streaked down my face and the salt aggravated my wounded eye.

With a sniffle I scooted closer to the lifeless corpse of my once beloved student. Trying not to look at her face I reached over and gently closed her eyes as the tears flowed even harder. Gods why? Why?

The tears came harder now, with choking gasps I couldn't hold it back anymore as I wept over my student, so broken and so full of hate. I did this. It was me. I was too hard on her, I lied and didn't trust her. I pushed her away and I made her life a living hell. I thought I learned my lesson with Luna but I apparently didn't learn anything at all. This is the same as back then.

It must have all started when she was my student, I drove her to anger and in my embarrassment I banished her through the portal. I even made Twilight clean up my mess because I was too ashamed of myself to see her. Why didn't I just trust the poor filly for once? In hindsight she was just trying to impress me and she was as against friendship as Twilight once was. Why didn't I just admit I was wrong? In my stubborn pride I just sent her somewhere I would never have to hear about her again.

They should call me the Princess of Folly, or the Princess of Pride. I should send myself to Tartarus because I would be just at home with the rest of the things I threw in there just to forget about it. That's what Tartarus really is... it's just my dumping ground for me to abandon things that I'm too proud to face. Too proud to admit I'm not the Goddess they say I am, too proud to be wrong for once.

Why do I push those around me to the brink of madness? What is wrong with me? I'm not worthy to be called Princess, I'm not worthy to even be anyponies friend. I can't anymore, I just can't. I'm going to close off the school, I won't teach anypony else, I infect and destroy everypony I get close to. I can't even let myself even try anymore.

"Oh Sunset, I am so so sorry." I mumbled, as if that would help anything now and all thoughts left me as I wept and shook in pain over the body of my once student and the last reminder of what happens when I get close to anypony.

"Sunset."

Author's Note

If you've made it this far thank you for reading! I always wanted to try for a revenge fic and this was also a little experiment I wanted to do to see how deep I could go into first person perspective, down to the tunnel vision we all get when obsessed with something. It was honestly one of the harder things I've written, getting into the head of Sunset and trying to get that feel of losing your mind as you obsess over a goal to the exclusion of all else but I'm glad I did it.

I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it!