False Hope's Influence

Silence. Darkness. Lonliness.

That seemed to be all my life was, just an endless cycle of nothingness, never ending, never getting better. To be fair, it was nobody's fault but my own. Things don't just get better, you have to work to improve your life. I just never knew how. And everyone around me seemed to just expect me to know.

Granted, I didn't have the best start in life either. Who the fuck names their foal "False Hope"? Well, Storm Stride, evidently. My father always was a dramatic stallion. He had wanted a colt, and got a filly. I suppose it is a... Suitable name.

But I had spent enough time laying in my bed and staring at the ceiling. Clearly I wasn't getting back to sleep. It was a dark and stormy night - no, really, it was! - with rain hitting the windows so fiercely that many a pony had trouble finding sleep. Foals retreated to the safety of their parent's beds, who grumbled tired curses aimed at Cloudsdale's weather pegasi. Why on Equus would they ever need to create a storm like this? Were they trying to nourish the trees, or uproot them?

Usually, I loved listening to a harsh storm raging outside my window. It was as if nature was trying to express my own inner emotions, and doing a far better job than my words ever could. Tonight though, the storm did nothing to quell my insomnia. I pushed myself out of bed, huffing as my hooves hit the floor. My horn illuminated the room with a dark violet aura, bathing the sparse surroundings in light. I paused by the mirror, looking resentfully at my reflection.

A dark grey, almost black unicorn mare stared back, with a scruffy dark purple mane and tail. Not particularly attractive, a bit on the chubbier side in all honesty. Light, sunken turquoise eyes, tired and half-lidded added to the pathetic display, but what really put the cherry on the cake was my cutiemark. Or, heh, lack thereof. Yup, to top off the whole picture, I'm a blankflank. I had always figured that if it was my purpose in life, my reason to exist, it would come naturally to me, without having to work for it. In hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best mindset.

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, careful not to make too much noise. Wasn't like it mattered much, I lived alone, and my home was tall but thin. Two stories, but small rooms. I took a peek into the fridge, huffing as my eyes confirmed what I already knew. I needed to get groceries again. Yeah, I huff a lot too. Sure, working at an animal shelter could sometimes be pleasant if you're like me and enjoy spending time with animals, but it didn't pay much.

A glass of milk was what I eventually went with, and I trotted heavily, sluggishly, toward the tough couch in the living room. The cup levitated to my side, at very little risk of spilling on the rock solid chair. A short flash of magic, and a couple surrounding candles were lit. I didn't have much in the way of furniture or decorating, but a few photos did line the walls. Some of an older stallion, my father. Others of pets I've loved and lost over the years. Quite a few with a certain golden earth pony mare, her blue eyes bright with cheer, a stark contrast to my awkward and uncomfortable expressions at her side

"Do you miss me nowadays, Marigold?" I murmured aloud. Sometimes I almost hoped the photos would answer me, but they never had. Regardless, I went on. "I don't imagine you do. Something to do with that stupid pegasus coltfriend of yours, right? Hot Shot? Brick for brains Hoofball player?" I seethed, milk forgotten in my anger. We had been so close once. As fillies, father would often refer to Marigold as a second daughter, with how much she stayed at our home. She was my best friend. My closest friend. My only friend, actually. I loved her like a sister. At least, I thought that was the case.

"I wish I could show you how stupid you're being," I glared at the floor, huffing again with irritation. "How could you give up on me, for some stupid stallion. How could you love him more than me?" Truthfully, I thought that... Well, with how strongly I felt, maybe I loved her more than I originally thought, more than I ever intended. She was certainly beautiful, though of course she had to be all modest and deny it. Like me, she was more colt than filly, unafraid of getting dirty and little to no filter with humour. And her laugh... Oh, her laugh would make a songbird jealous.

And she only had an eye for stallions. Figures.

That was fine though, I was more than happy to keep her as my best friend. We'd joke about living together even when we were grown ups with coltfriends of our own, running a thriving farm with all four of us. We'd raise foals together, and they'd be the best of friends, honorary sisters just like us.

Then... Things started to go wrong.

It all started when her sister, Lavender, had a daughter. Marigold took to aunthood enthusiastically, she loved that little filly. Little baby Jellyfish was so important, Marigold's time with her cut into our time together. I hated it, naturally, but I couldn't fault her for wanting to spend time with her niece, so I let it go. We still saw each other most days, still had our sleepovers, it was fine.

Then Marigold got her first job, working at Rose's Flower Shop. That... Obviously cut into our time much more. I was still an anxiety-riddled wreck, so I made no attempt to find a job of my own. Now we'd only see each other once or twice a week, and the sleepovers were rare.

That all happened a few years ago. And only a month ago, I saw Marigold and that... Dumb stallion of hers. I couldn't even bring myself to say hello, I just turned and headed home.

"I knew we were going to grow up eventually," I murmured out loud, "But I didn't think I'd lose you entirely. I didn't think you'd just move on. I didn't... I didn't think..." I sniffled. I was angry, furious, enraged, but also hurt. So, so hurt. "It's just not fair!" I snarled suddenly, smacking the glass of milk off of the couch, watching as it spilt all over the cheap carpeted floor. I leapt off the chair, rearing up and stomping on the glass as if it were that stupid stallion's face.

"Marigold! Is! Mine!" I cried between stomps, until eventually I had worn myself out. I slumped onto my rear, wiping at my eyes with a sniffle. Great, now I had a mess to clean up as well. "I really am pathetic... It's no wonder she ditched me..."

I couldn't even be bothered to clean up. I rolled onto my side, wrapping my hooves around myself and sobbing quietly into the night. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.