The Dimensional Well

So, what would be the best way to capture the attention of a currently ranting and hysterical Flutters? You dig into your memories, recalling the many times over the years you’ve unfortunately spent in one another’s company, to quickly divine the most obvious answer:

“Whoops, my pants fell off!”

Said pants slide to the ground with a thump, and not a second later…

“Oh, sweetie, let me help you with those!”

…Fluttershy abandons her tirade to glomp you at a speed that makes even Dash turn her head. In an instant, she’s grappled onto your legs and placed her snout in a perfect position to take a deep whiff of your boxers.

You sigh. It’s kind of concerning how easy that was, but hey, at least it worked!

Celestia’s horn crackles with power and ignites like a second sun the very instant Fluttershy gets a safe distance from the putrid flesh mound she’d been standing upon. Great spears of light crash down from the sky and impale the monster, which releases an otherworldly shriek of pain from its many mouths as it tries to retreat back into the crevice it crawled out of. The spears rain down without end, pinning it in place as the alicorn continues her relentless attack.

But as much as you’d like to watch the spectacular light show unfolding before you, a nuzzling nose at your crotch demands your attention. Fluttershy’s innocent cyan eyes capture your own, and a slight rose tinge appears on her cheeks. If there’s one positive thing you can say about the little butterball, it’s that she sure knows how to look cute…

“So, um… I know humans wear a lot of clothes because they don’t have much fur and otherwise they’d be cold. Since your pants aren’t working, I was thinking that… maybe I could help keep your penis warm? With my mouthpussy, I mean.”

…At least until she starts talking.

“Your what?” you ask, despite not wanting to know the answer.

Her ears fold back. “Oh… did that sound weird? I’m sorry. It was a line I read in Twilight’s manuscript that I wanted to try out, but now that I’ve heard it out loud… oh my, it sure sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I’m a little embarrassed, actually. Just forget I said anything.”

You find yourself chuckling at her antics. “You? Embarrassed about hitting on me? I’ve gotta say, this is a first.”

She giggles as well. “I know, right? Talk about a really corny line; I’ll have to help her with some editing later. Oh, and I’m going to put your cock in my mouth now, if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake…”

“Actually, Fluttershy, I think if you examine the usage of the term within the context of the overall passage, it really comes across as tastefully erotic!” Twilight interjects, somehow tearing herself away from ogling her Teacher’s magical fireworks to defend her magnum opus.

“Twilight Sparkle! Focus on your task!” Celestia cries, her voice barely audible above Shub-Neighgurath’s renewed shrieking. Sensing what’s coming, the alicorn abandons her attack, instead raising a large semi-circular barrier to protect all of you from the tsunami of dark magic that the eldritch horror begins to spew from its many mouths.

“Oh! R-Right, sorry Princess!”

Twilight scrambles away from you, her horn alight, using her magic to search beyond Celestia’s barrier and the torrent of dark magic crashing against it for the ChronoSphere that Fluttershy so carelessly discarded during her mad rush to get her hooves on your man-meat.

“Found it!” she exclaims, her ruby aura safely enshrouding the precious item and pulling it toward the barrier. “W-Wait, what?”

The ChronoSphere mysteriously stops in mid-air, still several feet away from safety. At first you can’t tell why, but a slight shifting of the dark tide reveals one of the flesh mass’ protrusions has captured it and is fighting Twilight for control.

“You have to overpower it yourself!” Celestia yells. “I can’t risk dropping the barrier and Rainbow Dash won’t be able to retrieve it with all of that miasma around! Do whatever it takes!”

“Okay, got it!” she replies, pouring as much magic as she can into the struggle.

Meanwhile, you find yourself dealing with a different, yet familiar problem in the form of a wandering hoof and some experimental licks staining the fabric of your underwear. As much as you’d like to dislodge your little stalker, it’s easier said than done. Her line about being weak and helpless earlier was total bullshit – she could probably snap a bear’s spine in half if she wanted.

“Yo, Dash, a little help here?”

You call out to your best bro, who seems to have been somewhat spaced out ever since Fluttershy latched on to you. She shakes her head a few times when she hears your voice, then glides over and touches down nearby.

“Hey Fluttershy, you got a sec?” she asks.

The yellow pegasus retracts her tongue before it can snake its way through your boxers’ quick access piss flap. “Oh, of course, Rainbow Dash. What’s the matter?”

Dash grimaces and scuffs a hoof. “I, uh… ugh… darn it, I’m so bad at stuff like this! Look, we need to talk. And I need to apologize.”

Both you and Fluttershy flash her a confused look.

“You were always my best Sis, even way back in flight school, and even if we didn’t hang out as much as we should have. So when I saw how you looked at Anon when you first met him, I knew you had a crush. Yeah, even I could tell! Crazy, right?”

To this day, you refuse to believe that there’s a single living creature on this planet that doesn’t know about Flutters’ ‘crush’ considering all the shit she constantly pulls. The main problem is that they all think it’s cute instead of a daily rapetastic gauntlet you have to somehow survive.

“I thought I could give you a hoof,” she continues. “You know, grease his skids a little… get the blood pumpin’! I figured if he had a little Q.T. with The Dash, he’d figure out how AWESOME mares could be, and then maybe you could put the moves on him yourself and finally get some action!”

Wait, what?

“But then…” Her ears fold back and she looks away. “Then I got greedy. I tried to keep things as Bros so I wouldn’t get too attached, but… that’s not what happened. I kept telling myself that tomorrow would be the day I’d nudge him your way, but I kept wimping out at the last second! I… I guess what I’m trying to say is—”

“Rainbow Dash!”

A desperate cry from Twilight cuts Dash’s odd confession off. It looks like the tug-of-war between her and the flesh blob has resulted in both of them losing possession of the ChronoSphere, as the relic has been flung high into the air and well above the flow of the surrounding miasma.

“Looks like I’m up! Hold on, I’ll be back in ten seconds flat!” the plucky pegasus declares.

And with that, she rockets into the air, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.

You and Fluttershy stare at one another after she leaves, both of you trying to process what exactly you just learned.

“Did… you know about this?” you ask her.

“No, I had no idea,” she replies. “I didn’t even know you two were rutting. Though now that I think about it, you did spend a lot time together, and your crotch did sometimes sort of smell like marecum and semen during my morning fetish guesses, but… I mean, wow. I don’t even know what to say when she gets back.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

A rare, awkward silence falls over the two of you after that, and you both find yourselves focusing your attention on Rainbow as you try to ignore it.

Said pegasus easily rises high into the air to capture the lost ChronoSphere as if it were just another routine stunt performance for her to ace. She proudly twirls in the air to celebrate the catch, adding a few hoof pumps for good measure.

“Awwww yeah! Sometimes I make this look too eas— what the?!”

But her joy is short-lived, as her attempt to fly back toward the four of you is suddenly slowed to a crawl. She flaps her wings as hard as she can, pouring on more and more speed, but only manages to move a few feet forward before being pulled even further back.

“Uh… guys?! A little help!”

Celestia curses under her breath when she realizes what’s going on, still focusing all her magic into maintaining her barrier. “She’s caught in the gravity well! Twilight, you must pull her out! And failing that, you must— aaaah!”

She recoils in pain as a slight amount of the dark miasma slips through a weak point in the shield, burning one of her shoulders.

“Hold on, Rainbow!” Twilight exclaims, using her magic to try and pull her friend free from the black hole’s influence. Through great effort, she’s able to stabilize Dash’s place in the air, though pulling her closer still seems out of the question. She stomps a hoof in frustration, trying several different spells to move her to little effect.

“I… I can’t get a good hold on her at all! It’s like… it’s like her entire molecular structure is… oddly gooey for some reason? What the hay?!”

‘Gooey’? Why would she be… oh. Oh shit. Hopefully that’s not your fault or anything…

“R-Rainbow Dash!”

To your complete surprise, Fluttershy releases you and attempts to fly up to help her friend regardless of the consequences. More surprising still is the fact that your reflexes spur you to reach out and capture her tail before she can get too far.

“Stop, Flutters! Remember what Sun Horse said? You fly too high and the same thing’s gonna happen to you!”

“B-But we can’t just leave her!” she cries.

“Hey! Anon, Fluttershy, listen up!”

All eyes turn toward the sound of Rainbow’s voice, which still radiates unshakable confidence despite the situation she’s in.

“’Shy… just wanted to say sorry again. I know I messed up. But hey, I’ve got him primed for you! There’s no way he doesn’t like ponies— I made sure of it! All you’ve gotta do is rock his world a few times, and he won’t be able to keep his hands off your flanks! I know you can do it!”

The trembling yellow pegasus, with tears running down her face, can do nothing but nod her head.

“And Anon! From one Bro to another… trust me, she’s cool. Sure, she’s kinda weird sometimes, but she’s cool. Look out for her, okay? And don’t you dare bucking break her heart, or I WILL find you later!”

She strikes a dynamic pose, at the same time abandoning her effort to escape the magical well. And as she’s inevitably pulled in, she declares:

“See ya, guys! I’ll catch you all on the flip side!”

And an instant later, she’s gone, along with the ChronoSphere she was holding.

You place your hand over your heart, and a single tear rolls down your cheek.

“Later, Bro. If I have one regret, it would be that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be as rad as you.”

“Rainbow Daaaaaash~~~~!” Fluttershy wails, bursting into a firehose sized torrent of tears that you have to awkwardly sidestep to avoid soaking your dropped pants.

Twilight herself is speechless, staring unblinkingly at the point where Rainbow vanished.

An otherworldly shriek temporarily breaks the three of you out of your mourning, and you look over to see that the flesh blob Celestia’s been fighting has deflated and collapsed back into its crevice. The alicorn herself trots triumphantly over to where you’re gathered, sporting several minor injuries but seemingly no worse for wear.

“Whew! I was finally able to subdue it,” she sighs. “How did things go on this end? Were you able to recover Rainbow Dash from the well?”

“P-P-Princess…” Twilight sniffles. “Rainbow, she… she got pulled in! I couldn’t save her!”

“Hmmm, that’s unfortunate,” Celestia replies almost too casually. “But I trust at least the ChronoSphere is safe?”

“No, it got pulled in with her! I was so focused on getting her back that I—” The purple pony shakes her head, trying to regain her composure. “No, this isn’t the time to be worrying about that! Princess, we have to get Rainbow Dash back! There… there must be something you can do!”

Celestia frowns, capturing her student with a dire stare. “Twilight Sparkle… are you certain that the ChronoSphere was lost to the dimensional well?”

The little pony hesitantly nods.

“I see. Then there’s only one thing left to do.”

Celestia’s horn shines again, and you can actually feel the magic gathering in the air around you. A great swell of light encompasses her entire body and you’re forced to avert your eyes. It takes your brain a few seconds to start working again once your vision finally clears, as what you now see before you completely defies your ability to make sense of it.

Celestia stands there proudly, sporting a bright Hawaiian shirt and a pair of trendy sunglasses, with a lit cigar in her mouth and a margarita, complete with little paper umbrella, floating in in the air beside her.

Twilight’s jaw drops at the sight. “Um, P-Princess…?”

Celestia turns and lowers her glasses slightly. “Hmmm? Oh, did you all want some too?”

“W-Weren’t you going to help Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy squeaks.

The alicorn takes a few gulps of her drink, puffs her cigar a few times, and then tilts her head to look at the swelling mass of darkness floating just above you.

“No, I don’t believe so. Allow me to explain what’s about to happen here. The ChronoSphere was our last hope, and it was swallowed by the well. It’s been rended apart at the atomic level, just as anything else that’s been pulled inside of it would be, and the unimaginable amount of wild, uncontrollable time magic it contained has been freed. In a few moments, time will begin to accelerate to a speed we cannot fathom, and that in turn will accelerate the merging and ultimate destruction of the two worlds.”

The three of you glance at one another, unsure if what’s even happening now is real or not.

“As Anonymous would so succinctly put it, we’re totally boned,” she concludes. “It appears our many-mouthed friend from beyond the stars will get its wish after all.”

“You’re awfully calm about all this,” you finally manage to say.

Celestia smiles. “As an immortal, I’ve had a good amount of time to come to terms with the reality that I would likely live to see the end of this world, and despite all my efforts, be unable to prevent it. Of course, never did I imagine that its end would come in such a spectacularly ridiculous manner, but I’ve made peace with it nonetheless.”

She downs the rest of her drink.

“Yet, I’m sure hearing that does little to assuage you all, so allow me to share something with you that might help.”

There’s a thundering sound from above, and your distant surroundings begin to lose their definition.

“Don’t ask me how I know this, but know that I say with absolute certainty: when one universe dies and fades away, another is always born. While there are no guarantees as to what form we’ll take, or which souls will ultimately meet and enrich one another, I’d like to think that one day, we’ll all be blessed enough to find and know each other again.”

The world itself sunders, and the piece of earth you’re all standing upon rises into the air.

“A safe journey to you, my little ponies. And to you as well, troublesome human.”

You feel yourself being pulled away, and at the last moment Fluttershy jumps into your arms and pulls you into a passionate kiss.

And yeah, maybe just this once, you’ll go with it. It’s the end of the world, and holding on to someone, even if it’s Fluttershy of all ponies, brings you comfort.

As the last piece of reality fades, you could swear you hear an unfamiliar voice whisper from somewhere all around you,

“Thank you for being a friend to me, o depraved one.”
“A kindness given should be a kindness returned.”
“You have allowed me to have my fun, so now shall you have yours in turn…”