Smolder Doesn't Give A F*ck!

by WorkNLurk

Rating: teen
Tags: Ocellus, Smolder, Tragedy, Profanity, Twilight Sparkle, Young Six, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Mayor Mare, Romance
Length: 8252

Smolder learns of the fucking crazy shenanigans that Spike caused in Ponyville and she's set to make things straight, even if she has to do shit her own way.

Smolder, oblivious to the events that occurred, is told of the dumb shit Spike did while walking around town. She admits to teaching him those words, but with her own reasoning. However, she gets into some big fucking trouble and decides that the only way to make anything better is to take matters into her own claws. Buckle the fuck up, bitches. It's going to be a bumpy ride...

Featured at #3 on 8/14/19!

Re-rated T for Strong Langauge

Published 2019-08-13 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-13 20:00:01 UTC

Feeling Pretty Fucking Down

The library was quiet, not that it was loud or anything, but it offered sanctuary to any students needing some solace or help. Often times, small study groups would take advantage of this campus to further gain their knowledge of the intricacies of friendship, which seemed like a simple concept. However, the key elements of friendship were so deeply rooted and intertwined that nopony could have imagined that such a simple word with an easily understood meaning could have that much depth.

A page turn softly echoed in the room.

Well, maybe she was looking way too much into it…

In a corner of the library, a changeling had her head buried in a textbook, looking beyond focused, almost in a trance. It seemed like even the sound of a book being dropped wouldn’t have distracted her from her concentration. That is until a claw rapped on the table.

“Really?” a sharp, rough voice interrupted, “Is there ever a time when you aren’t studying?”

Ocellus jumped slightly and looked over to see her good friend Smolder with a small smile on her face. Turning back to the textbook, she responded.

“Do you blame me?” she said. “We do have a test today.”

Smolder didn’t buy it, offering a raspberry sound as a rebuttal. “Come on… Celly, you’re, like, the smartest friend out of the six of us.”

Ocellus smirked and shook her head. “That’s because I study.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Smolder said dismissively.

Another voice broke the tension.

“What’s up?” a gruff male voice said.

“Well, I’m…” Ocellus started.

“Celly over here is commanding a one-changeling-study-brigade,” Smolder interrupted.

“Big words from a dragon who got a ‘B’ on the last test,” Gallus prodded.

“B+ now, birdbrain,” Smolder corrected. “I discussed one of my missed questions with Professor Rarity, and she gave me partial credit.”

“Still probably doesn’t compete with the ‘almanac-of-all-things-friendship’ here,” Gallus dryly remarked. “You aced it, right?”

She nodded.

“I’m pretty sure that if changelings didn’t eat feelings, then she’d live off of this library,” Smolder cut in.

“I wouldn’t say ‘eat feelings’, Smolder,” Ocellus corrected. “We can detect other emotions coming from anycreature, but we primarily consume love.” She stopped to think for a second and then brought the book back to her face. “And if I wanted to, I could eat the love coming from you right now…”

Smolder shot up and stammered. “Wh-what are you talking about? I don’t like you Ocellus! I-I mean, not in that way. I meant in the way that...”

Ocellus shot her a smug look. “I know,” she said. “I’m just messing with you.”

Smolder sat back down and shot her a look. “I hate you…”

Ocellus kept her smirk visible. “I know. I’m a changeling, remember?”

Smolder sat deeper into her chair, pouting.

Ocellus reburied her head in the book for the umpteenth time, this time using it to hide her licking her lips. We’ll talk about this whole “love” thing that you say you don’t have for me later…

“So…” Gallus spoke, breaking the awkward silence. “What are you all going to do after class?”

“The same thing I always do,” Ocellus told him. “Homework, read, and sleep. I’ve got it down to a science.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” he replied. “You?”

“I don’t know,” Smolder told him. “Life’s unpredictable. I live in the moment.”

Gallus smirked. “Deep,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah. Up yours,” she quipped at him.

Suddenly, an authoritarian figure, both academically and royally, loomed over the table. She cleared her throat, prompting all three of them to turn around.

“Smolder,” Twilight spoke sternly, focusing on her, looking displeased, “I would like to see you in my office.”

She groaned, then reluctantly stood up and walked towards the door. The others speculated, with one whispering and the other hollering right at her.

“Ooooh,” Gallus taunted. “Smolder’s in trouble…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Smolder shot back at him. “We’ll see about that…”

Ocellus became concerned, both for her friend and herself. “What’s happening, Headmare Twilight?”

Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t say,” she said, “but this issue only concerns Smolder as of now.”

Smolder gulped as her heart rate jumped. Was she in serious trouble? Maybe her grades weren’t the best. She wasn’t a star student by any means, but she thought she had regarded herself to be one of the best dragon students there.

Twilight closed the door and they began their walk down the long, empty corridor.

Smolder tried to play off her uneasiness. “Sooo,” she started, “what assignment did I miss this time?”

“I believe you know what you’re in trouble for, Smolder,” Twilight said without hesitation.

Either she was being entirely oblivious to something or she was just plain stupid, but for the life of her, she could not figure out why she was in trouble. Sure, she skipped school that one time… okay, maybe more than once. Definitely twice. All right, three times. Yeah, it was probably her attendance. So what if she missed a few days? She felt like she was a good student nonetheless!

She looked over at Twilight and while she had a steady look of displeasure, she could tell that her mind was running a million miles a minute. This was probably something she didn’t want to do, considering her busy schedule pertains to operating a fully functional school, and not necessarily dealing with students. Speaking of which, wasn’t this something Counselor Starlight would do? It seemed suspicious that Principal Twilight would deal with anything like this.

After what seemed like an eternity, Twilight opened the door to her office, which, strange enough to Smolder, seemed awfully unorganized per Twilight standards. There were a few newspapers here, some large encyclopedic books there, a trash can full of crumpled paper, but an otherwise clean seating area.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Sit down, Smolder.”

The dragon slouched into the chair right in front of the desk, bottling her concern over this mysterious trouble she was in.

Twilight took a second to shuffle around some papers and then addressed her.

“Well, Smolder,” she began, “what do you have to say for yourself?”

Smolder arched an eyebrow, puzzled. Was this supposed to be some sort of game? Was she really in trouble for no reason?

“Huh?” Smolder replied.

“Smolder, don’t try to plead ignorance,” Twilight said, unamused. “You know what you did.”

I think she’s the one playing the game with me, she thought. I have NO idea what I did.

She shrugged. “I’m gonna be honest, Headmare Twilight,” Smolder responded. “I don’t.”

Twilight hung her head and sighed. “I suppose maybe that you haven’t heard about what happened downtown yesterday?”

Smolder shook her head. “…no…” she dragged out. “What?”

Twilight placed her hoof on her desk and slid a newspaper towards Smolder, to which she grabbed it and read the cover aloud.

“‘Curses! Spike’s Words Give Town Quite The Shocker’?” Smolder read in disbelief.

Twilight straightened up. “I could hardly believe it myself,” she said. “Applejack barreled through my door informing me of what Spike had said to her!”

“He…” Smolder started but lost her train of thought.

“I can’t believe he had gone after the Mayor!” Twilight continued. “She works so hard in this small town and to have somepony say… that to you is beyond abhorrent!”

Smolder continued to stare into space, still in shock about this article.

“I should have let him learn his lesson then and… hey!” she snapped. “Are you listening to me?!”

Smolder heard the voice in the distance and jumped back into reality. “Wha…”

Twilight groaned in exasperation. “Smolder,” she said. “Spike ran into town yesterday and shouted curse words at everypony he knew!”

That was all Smolder needed to hear. Something about it still didn’t make her believe it. “He didn’t actually do that. Did he?” she asked.

Twilight reaffirmed her previous statement. “I’m afraid so.”

Smolder let out an audible sigh, followed by a small chuckle.

“Then I owe that motherfucker 50 bits…” she said.

“I… Smolder!” Twilight shouted. “Don’t say that word!”

Smolder look subtly disappointed. “I was just making a joke…”

“Now’s not the time for jokes!” she shouted. “Spike received a ban from the Mayor and now he won’t be able to enter the town!”

Smolder jumped. “Wait,” she said. “He got banned?!”

Twilight nodded.

“All because he said some curse words?” Smolder snapped. “That’s bullshit!”

“Smolder!”

Smolder held up her claw, waving it dismissively. “Sorry,” she said, “force of habit. Dragon thing.”

Twilight sighed. “Speaking of which,” she started, “he told me that you told him these words.”

“Yeah, so?”

“At his age, he shouldn’t be saying things like that!”

Smolder folded her arms. “Hmph. When I was his age, I knew every single one of those words. No dragon ever messed with me.”

“Cursing somehow helped with that?” Twilight asked.

Smolder shrugged. “Well, it’s better than nothing. You have to stand up for yourself or else they’re gonna beat the sh… crap outta you…”

Twilight sighed again. “I’ll let that one slide…”

“Wait, I can’t say ‘crap’?” Smolder said, extending her arms.

“Smolder,” Twilight calmly recollected herself. “You are walking on very thin ice.”

Smolder sat deeper in the chair with a pouty look on her face, folding her arms once more.

Twilight looked away, then at some paperwork. “Spike was easy enough to punish, I just made him…”

“Wait,” Smolder said, interrupting once more, “you punished him?”

“Yes, of course, Smolder!” Twilight answered. “Did you think that I was going to let it slide?!”

Smolder tried to guilt-trip her. “He’s just a kid! He doesn’t know any better!”

Twilight shot back. “He told me otherwise.”

“He’s just trying to protect me…” Smolder said. But why? We’re barely even friends…

“I understand, Smolder,” Twilight told him. “But something of this degree requires some consequential actions.”

Smolder sighed. “All right, all right…”

Twilight continued. “Anyway, I just gave him triple chores this month.”

Triple?! she thought. There is no way that is fair…

“However,” she began, “a punishment for you proved to be…”

“Hold on,” Smolder said, thinking she misheard. “Did you say that you were going to punish me?”

“Of course, Smolder,” she said. “I can’t possibly let you…”

“That’s not fair!” Smolder snapped. “It was just a stupid joke! How was I supposed to know that he’d actually run into town and curse out the Mayor?! Besides, he asked me! What was I going to do, lie to him?!”

“Regardless, you still taught him those words. Sometimes you need to think before you act,” Twilight justified.

“But…but…” Smolder stammered. “He’s a dragon! At his age, he should have…” She stopped, realizing that she’s fighting a losing battle. “Fine. What is it?”

Twilight looked up to the ceiling inquisitively. “Well, I thought of a couple of different ideas,” she said. “but none seemed to fit better than suspension…”

…

Smolder’s right eye twitched. “Suspension…” she said quietly. “Suspension…” Leaving school. Your friends. For something that you couldn’t control. And Headmare Twilight thinks that is fair…

“That’s partly why I called you in here. I wanted your input,” Twilight said. “Do you think that’s acceptable?”

“Well, Headmare Twilight,” Smolder said through gritted teeth. “Do you want to know what I think?”

Smolder smashed her fists against the bubble around her trying to somehow break the energy, but nothing seemed to work. Perhaps screaming at the two could help.

“LISTEN HERE, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS, LET ME OUT OF THIS THING OR I’LL---!!!"

Twilight had kept on eye on Smolder ever since she had to be restrained, peeking at her actions every so often. Luckily, Starlight’s magic came with the bonus of quiet on the other side. She sighed exasperatedly. “There she goes again, Starlight. No doubt saying some pretty mean things about me. I couldn’t believe what was happening! That’s why I went to you because I knew that you knew how to take care of controlling something like this. B-But I don’t mean that in a bad way like ‘mind manipulation’ or anything because you know what happens from that. What I meant was that you can take care of a situation like this in…”

“Breathe, Twilight,” she told her. “Breathe.”

Twilight inhaled deeply, gathering any negative energy inside of her, and exhaled slowly, pushing it away. “I’m sorry, Starlight,” she told her. “This whole thing was just so… so…”

“Unexpected?” Starlight finished.

Twilight agreed to an extent. “Well, I was going to say ‘overwhelming’. I mean, did you hear the stuff she was saying?”

Starlight nodded. “Enough of it. It was a bit over the top.”

Twilight shot her a look of skepticism. “A bit? Starlight, she went nuts!”

Starlight conceded. “Ok, ok. WAY over the top.”

“And all because I was going to suspend her! Just for a week or so. Why did she get so upset about that?” Twilight asked her.

“Hmm,” Starlight thought about it. “I’d say that partially shows how hesitant she is to leave the friends she’s made. Maybe that means that you and your friends’ lessons are paying off.”

Twilight smiled. “Part of me feels guilty for expelling her. Believe me, I didn’t want to split apart that group of friends. There’s something about them that reminds me of my experiences.”

“Buuut…?”

“But I can’t entirely trust her after what she did to me. And what she might do to the others? I don’t feel like I have a choice!”

“I can see both sides of it,” Starlight told her. “But I think you have the right idea with this expulsion. Not everything is going to be fair.”

“I’m glad that somepony agrees with me…”

Both ponies reached the front door of the school and released Smolder from her containment.

“—YOU CAN SUCK A DICK, SHITHEADS!” she yelled mid-tirade, ending and taking several deep breaths.

“Smolder,” she said sternly.

Silence fell upon the group.

“I don’t want you coming near this school until you’ve shown me that you can refrain from hurtful language.”

Smolder finally spoke. “How the fuck am I going to prove anything to you? Nothing counts for shit in this town.”

Starlight gave a couple of ideas. “Hear me out, Smolder. There are some anger management classes offered all around Ponyville. Although, they might be a little too, well, soft for your taste.”

“My taste?!” Smolder snapped. “Fuck you! These words have been ingrained into every dragon’s head before the age of six, you overcultured twats!”

Starlight whispered to Twilight. “She might never come back at this rate.”

“That’s what I’m also worried about,” Twilight replied quietly. She then spoke aloud to her. “Until you give me some semblance of change, I won’t allow you back into this school. Those words are too dangerous.”

“My words are—!” Smolder stopped. She was losing a battle that she couldn’t win. “Ok, fine. I’ll try.”

“That’s all we ask,” Twilight said. “I’m sorry that this has to be done, but I hope you understand.”

Bullshit, Headmare Twilight. Bullshit. “I’ll consider those classes around town,” she lied.

“Thank you, Smolder,” she said. “I’ll see you when I see you.” Both ponies turned, walked inside, and closed the doors.

Smolder waited momentarily, turned about-face and flipped off the building behind her, muttering more profanity under her breath.

Hours passed. And Smolder could have flown into town for a class or back to the Dragon Lands if she wanted

Instead, she paced, looking at the cursed building. The school was well within sight. She felt like she wanted to remain close as it felt like she was losing something if she wasn’t there.

But she was also fine if it mysteriously vanished the next day.

Well, mostly fine.

Smolder knelt on the ground, her anger reaching another maximum. All of this was unfair, and she couldn’t do a thing about it. She released everything into the sky, clenched fists into the air.

“FUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

Her fists slammed back down onto the earth and an overwhelming mix of hatred and sadness swept over her. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she forced herself to keep composed. She took a deep breath and remembered a mantra.

Real dragons don’t cry, she thought while holding tears back. Real dragons don’t cry.

She took another deep breath, stood back up, paced again for a bit, and finally sat down at the edge of a creek.

She kicked a pebble into the slow-running water. “Fuck Headmare Twilight and this school,” she mumbled. “Fucking tyrant. ‘You aren’t allowed back until I have proof that you are who you aren’t.’” she mocked. “Place of friendship and camaraderie my fat…”

“There you are,” a familiar changeling voice came from behind her. “Where were you? You missed the test.”

“I didn’t want to skip class.”

“Well, you did,” she said intently. “No worries, though. Professor Fluttershy can offer you an extension. Come on, let’s head back to our dorm. We can talk before your next class.”

She huffed and folded her arms. “Hmph. Not anymore…”

“Huh?” she asked incredulously. “What do you mean ‘not anymore’?”

She sighed. “Headmare Twilight expelled me.”

Ocellus’ jaw dropped. “WHAT?! That’s why she called to talk to you?”

Smolder scratched her head. “Well, yes and no,” she answered. “She wanted to suspend me for a week or two.”

“And…?!”

“I… got kinda angry with her and cursed her out…” she said.

Ocellus took a second to process the story. “That’s it?! She expelled you for that?!”

Smolder affirmatively nodded, sitting down at the creek.

Ocellus had to know the circumstances. “But why? Why did you do that?”

Smolder picked up a pebble and chucked it across the creek. “It’s a bit of a long story if you don’t mind me telling.”

“Oh, please,” she said. “Do tell.”

She sighed and collected her thoughts. “Well, first off, you know I don’t have the best of language at times, right? And ponies tend to keep it clean here?”

Ocellus nodded. “Go on.”

“Well, I was hanging out with Spike in one of the supply closets. You know, shootin’ the shit, whatever. Anyway, I must have knocked something off the shelf and I naturally muttered something like: ‘ah, fuck’ while picking it up. He asked me what I said. I told him. He asked what it meant. I told him. He asked why others don’t use it. I told him. Then, I asked him something,” Smolder thought for a second. “‘Why hasn’t anybody told you this yet?’ He didn’t know. I told him dragons should have already learned this at his age and he didn’t believe me. So, I got a little preachy, I’ll admit that was my bad. I told him that since he’s a dragon, he shouldn’t care what others say. That’s what made us strong. He got excited and said he was ready to tell the world what he had to say, and I jokingly said: ‘Yeah, no way that you’ll yell that around town. 50 bits says you won’t.’

She sighed and pulled out a scrap of paper she managed to salvage from her famous interaction with Twilight and showed it to her.

“He did. I didn’t know he would. I was just joking. The little guy took it seriously. He got punished big time. So did I,” Smolder finished.

Ocellus dropped the paper. “I… don’t know what to say.”

“How about ‘Princess Twilight’s a stuck-up…’”

“Ok, ok,” she interrupted. “She doesn’t know the full story.”

“She never will.”

Ocellus tried to reason. “Maybe she was doing what she thought was right.”

Smolder scoffed. “Yeah, what she thinks is right is only right to her.”

“There are many sides to a story. You have one. I have one. And she has one. Nocreature is ever objectively right.”

Smolder laughed. “You think too much,” she told her.

Ocellus giggled and sat down next to her. Both began to fiddle with the landscape.

“Hey, Celly?” Smolder asked, digging a hole in the dirt with her claw.

“Yeah?"

“About that whole: ‘I don’t like you’ stuff at the library. I… hope you got what I meant.”

“That you value me as a friend,” Ocellus replied. “Of course.”

She sighed in relief. “I… was worried that it came off as: ‘I never liked you’ or worse.”

“I never got that impression.”

“I was just making sure.”

“Better safe than sorry, right.”

“Yeah.”

Silence fell over the two for a few minutes.

Smolder wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words for it. She felt some deep emotion that fogged her mind and left her worried that with her absence from the school, she could have lost something meaningful with her friends.

But why was she so fixated on worrying about losing just her?

She spoke up. “Celly,” she said, prompting the changeling to look at her. “When I was expelled today, I was worried that I would never be able to come back, even if I could prove to them that I was ready. I would never be able to meet you guys again. Some deep, dark fear of mine was that she’d… no, it’s stupid.”

“Just tell me.”

“That she’d brainwash you all into thinking I’m some crazy, fucked-up lunatic.”

Ocellus giggled. “You’re right. That was stupid,” she jabbed.

“Told you,” she said, blushing a little bit.

Smolder scooted closer.

“But she’s got so much power in the school and she used it all on me. What could she do to you?”

“Smolder,” she stopped her, “if you think for one second that we’d want to replace or lose you, then I’m inclined to believe that you’re as crazy as you think Twilight is.”

Smolder soon became overwhelmed with a new feeling. Something that she didn’t know that she’d feel for someone she considered a close friend. It felt like some mixture of compassion and pleasure that felt exhilarating.

And what a perfect time for the sun to dip below the horizon.

“I...” she began, moving right next to Ocellus, wrapping an arm around her. “I don’t want to lose you.”

The changeling leaned into Smolder, practically drowning in the love she could feel coming from her. “I don’t either…”

Dawn rose on the slumbering pair, Ocellus nestled into Smolder’s warm embrace. Smolder opened her eyes, soon concluding that they had fallen asleep together by the creek.

And it was a really fucking good night’s sleep. She hadn’t woken up this refreshed in ages, but she couldn’t say the same for Ocellus.

“Hey,” she said as she nudged the sleepy bug. “Wake up.”

Ocellus groaned and tried to yank her down to a more comfortable position.

“Celly, come on,” she poked her again. “No more sleeping.”

“Fivemoreminutes…” she mumbled groggily.

“Okay,” she bartered. “If you want to be late for class…”

Ocellus’ eyes shot wide open. “What?! Late? Am I late? Please tell me…” She stopped.

Smolder stifled a chuckle.

“I should have known today’s my day off…” Ocellus got up and stretched. “I blame sleeping outside.”

Smolder shrugged. “I’m not complaining.”

“Yeah, well,” Ocellus pointed to her. “You don’t have to worry about going to school.”

“You think I don’t want to go to school? You think I’ll like sitting here all alone until the end of time?” Smolder folded her arms, sitting at the creek bed again.

“Nonono!” Ocellus jumped in quickly. “Of course, you’re still mad about this, I was just saying…”

Smolder sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I get what you mean.”

Ocellus tried to comfort her friend. “I’m sorry, Smolder. I really am. I wish I could help somehow.”

Smolder picked a clover. “I wish you could, too. If you can help me forge a document proving that I went to an anger management course, then…”

“Yeah… no.”

“Worth a shot.”

Ocellus brushed some dirt off her neck. “I’m going to head back inside. Hopefully, you can come back sooner or later. I’ll try to talk to Headmare Twilight for you.”

Smolder growled softly and leaned back into the grass. “Good luck,” she told her. “I don’t think that will help.” She sighed. I really pissed Headmare Twilight off, but she wouldn’t hear me out! I don’t care if she thinks she some ‘high and mighty’ Princess that can determine who can and can’t join her fucking school.

Smolder leaned her head back to look at Ocellus, who became smaller as she walked away. She then dug her claws into the ground, gently ripping the sod.

What’s her problem anyway? She’s probably said some things I’ve said once or twice, but for some reason, she thinks that these curse words I know belong to some evil cult forged in the deep, dark depths of Tartarus. I learned them when I was six. Fucking six! They’re just words…

Anger once again needed to be released. That stupid, stupid, stupid school! she thought, banging her right fist into the ground repeatedly. It doesn’t teach everyone to be friends; it teaches them… wait, what was that other part?

They’re… just… words. They’re just words. They’re just words! That’s it!

She sat up. “I’ve got it!” she yelled, then called for her friend. “Ocellus, come back!”

Ocellus turned and hovered back to Smolder. “What? What is it?”

“I’ve got a plan on how to teach Headmare Twilight and this town a lesson,” she told her. “How fast can you gather our friends?”

“Right now, I guess?”

“Perfect,” she said and thought momentarily. “And can you all bring that thing that we built during Professor Applejack’s woodworking course?”

Ocellus was hesitant. “Wait, you’re not saying to bring that, are you?”

Smolder nodded. “Yep.”

Ocellus sighed, facehoofing. “Really? That’s one of the few things that I’m ashamed of…”

Smolder was indignant. “Ocellus, listen to me. That’s the closest thing we have to a stage. I need one for my idea.”

“But, but…” Ocellus debated. “We can just grab a good one…”

“Did we build a good one?”

“No.”

“Is the shitty one ours?”

“Yes.”

“Did we pour our heart, soul, sweat, muscle, and tears into that thing, even though it looks awful?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think that symbolizes friendship better than anything else?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you want to help me prove Headmare Twilight wrong?”

“Yes! Of course.”

“Then get our friends, that hunk of shit, and meet me in the town square.”

Ocellus flew quickly into the school to locate their friends, most of whom were probably sleeping in their dorms.

Smolder smirked, turned around from the school and walked towards town. She was finally going to do something about this swearing problem.

And she was going to remedy it by swearing even more.

“Okay, listen everycreature,” Smolder huddled all her friends up on the rickety, poorly constructed, but more importantly, a friendship forged, teamwork nailed, makeshift stage. “I’ll handle most of this protest, just play it cool. Whenever I refer to you in any way, all you gotta do is just yell really fucking loud and confident. Got it?”

A set of jumbled, but otherwise unanimous agreements answered her call.

Smolder sighed and gave them a genuine compliment. “I couldn’t ask for better friends right now,” she said placing her claw over her chest. She turned around. “Let’s go!”

“Oh! Hey, Smolder. Quick question,” Silverstream asked. “What’s a ‘fucking’?”

Smolder sighed, placing a claw on her face. “Just follow my lead, everycreature.”

Her friends stood behind her as she cleared her throat and spoke loud and clear.

“Attention, citizens of Ponyville!” Smolder’s voice rang through the air. “The town is being run by absolute fucking psychos!”

A few heads turned their way as Smolder delivered a rage and expletive-filled sermon.

“Let me tell you a story,” she started. “Your kid walks around town. Just skipping and singing their heart out. Saying whatever they want to say. Sounds fine, right? All of a sudden, police come and swarm ‘em! Diving one by one on top of the kid, pummeling him down into the fucking dirt! Oh, but why? Why do you ask? Because that poor son of a bitchdoesn’t have free speech!”

That got a few to come to sit, watch, and discuss.

“Sounds unreal, right? Well, have I got a fucking story for you!” Smolder pointed straight at the crowd. “Enter Spike. Small town dragon. Smart kid. He learns some new words. He says them out loud. What happens, the laws come crashing down right onto him! A ban. BAN! From the city! All for saying some words! Sound familiar? Where’s his freedom of speech?”

More had gathered and the crowd grew concerned, clamoring and shouting.

“Now enter me. Smolder. Student. A+…”

Gallus coughed. “Yeah, right…”

“A- student,” she corrected, offering him a middle claw behind her back. “Nonetheless, a hard worker, with the best group of friends anycreature could ask for. I’ll admit, I told the kid some of those words. I was being honest with him. One of the core values of friendship,” she stopped, turning to her friends. “Generosity, kindness, laughter, loyalty, and honesty are all components of whaaaat?” She motioned to them, dragging the final word out for emphasis.

“Friendship!” they shouted in unison.

“Damn straight! We were taught those values from the Friendship University! The same place that I was expelled from for my way of speaking! When will it stop? Are you next?”

Definitely not the biggest crowd, but it was a sizeable one at that. They even all seemed to be agreeing with each other, signified by the occasional stomping and cheering.

“That’s why I’m going to use my free speech to…” Smolder began another tangent, but she soon was derailed.

“Excuse me!” a regal voice interrupted from the crowd. “Stop this nonsense immediately!”

“Oh-ho!” Smolder pointed her out. “Speak of the devil! This selfish bitch banned Spike from the town!”

The Mayor shot her back a look of contempt. “He disturbed an otherwise momentous and meaningful occasion with his impure tongue. I was keeping the peace.”

Celestia damn it, he did. And probably due to some legal bullshit, she was. She can always pull that card on me. How do I respond to that?

“You didn’t take into account that he was just a kid!” Ocellus chimed in. “He obviously didn’t mean anything by it, and you think the best way to teach him a lesson is to limit his interaction with other creatures? He can’t atone for his mistakes. You won’t even allow him to say sorry! Sounds like you had it out for him.”

Smolder watched as the Mayor growled and looked away, slamming her hoof into the ground; she looked like she was at a loss for words. They were winning this battle. They might actually pull it off.

The crowd sure was selling it.

“Hey,” a soft, dainty voice spoke to Smolder. “How did I do?”

Smolder couldn’t bring herself to respond; she was astounded about how far her friend was willing to go. She was truly an amazing friend.

I fucking love you, Ocellus.

Whoa, did she actually believe that? She looked down and placed her claw on her chest. There was no more pressure or tightness. In fact, she felt pretty amazing. She looked back up at Ocellus, who was hiding a blush.

Shit, Smolder thought. I should know better than to think emotionally near a changeling.

She covered her face, embarrassed, but she probably knew all along. I guess that’s a perk of being a changeling…

That… and those silly, smart, overcritical, and amazing bug eyes…

She scoffed. “Ah, fuck it,” Smolder said softly. Now’s better than ever, she thought, as she gently grabbed Ocellus, pulled her close, smiled and kissed her passionately. Both were met with some friendly taunts, with the other girls letting out high pitched squeals and guys whistling and yelling.

Smolder released her and placed her forehead on hers, looking deep into her eyes. She had only one thing left to say to her.

“You mean so much to me…”

Ocellus grew teary-eyed, beamed, and jumped into Smolder’s arms, hugging her tight.

While they embraced, Smolder looked out to the cheering crowd. The Mayor had left her spot. Where could she have gone? Maybe she was calling for backup? Or she gave up? Or maybe…?

Ocellus gripped her tighter.

Oh, who gives a shit?

The Mayor stopped at the school entrance, catching her breath. This was quite a gamble. Princess Twilight could have left for the day. Or the week! But this was her only chance.

She pushed open the door, revealing a bunch of various creatures wandering about the halls, some with books, some talking.

There didn’t seem to be nearly enough ponies here, but this was an all-inclusive school willing to teach any creature out there.

Good for her, the Mayor thought. She has an undying amount of patience when it comes to this.

She couldn’t seem to locate her office. She decided to ask one of the students, oddly enough, the notoriously mean-spirited griffon.

“Excuse me, do you know where Princess Twilight’s office is? I need to see her.”

The griffon thought for a moment. “Prin-cess…? Oh, Headmare Twilight! Down the hall, second door on the left.”

“Oh, thank you,” the Mayor quickly rattled off as she ran down the hall, offering a few “excuse me’s” and “coming through’s” every so often when she bumped into somepony or got a little too close for comfort.

And at long last, there it was. Hopefully, she was in there.

The Mayor took a deep breath and knocked three times.

“Come in.”

Jackpot. “Princess Twilight,” she said. “Sorry to intrude, but I have something that I want you to take a look at.”

Twilight was sorting through multiple folders, levitating the ones in the air that she didn’t need for later. She seemed too preoccupied with whatever issue that plagued her as it ceased her ability to work properly and efficiently. “I’m sorry,” she told her, placing down the manila folders. “Could you say that again?”

“I have this bill for a cease on public swearing that I need…” the Mayor started to repeat herself.

Twilight instantly snagged the bill, skimmed through it, and placed a sloppy signature down at the bottom. “Is this ok?”

The mayor looked incredulous. “…signed. Well, that was easy.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Just… thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to do that,” she replied somewhat unconvincingly.

“Oh, no problem,” Twilight responded. “I can’t believe that you had to make a law just for that.”

“Believe me,” she said, “I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Twilight shuffled through the contents of one of the six of the folders, searching for a specific document. In the meantime, she made more small talk.

“Spike says that he’s sorry he said those things about you. He should have thought before he had done that.”

The Mayor felt a hint of compassion for the small dragon, but her mind was set on stopping this protest. “Apology accepted. I know he meant no harm. And hey, I’ll tell you what, I’ll have to go through the ‘legal proceedings’ for it and all, but I can suspend that ban on him entering town square. Just give me some time to go back to my office, do the ‘legal’ stuff and I’ll hand you a copy.”

“Really?” she replied. “That’s great! Thank you!”

“Don’t mention it,” she asked. “Sorry to bug you, again.”

“It’s all right. I always find the time,” Twilight told her. “Thanks for stopping by!”

“No problem.”

The Mayor seemed to run very quickly from the door and down the hall, as Twilight shuffled through Smolder’s folder. After moving a few papers, she found her permanent record. It pained her to see how good of a student she was versus how much this event had messed up her transcript. It was a shame, really. Twilight levitated a quill and penned a note on the file.

Expelled. First-year. Refused to respect authority. Constant crude language.

Twilight slammed her head down on the desk. She couldn’t understand why the other five mysteriously vanished today. Where were they? Could Smolder have said… no, that’s silly.

A familiar head peeked into the room. “Dear me!” the Mayor facehoofed. “I almost forgot the bill!”

Twilight chuckled. “Well, that would certainly have been embarrassing.”

“Ugh!” she groaned. “I have such a FULL plate today, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she sympathized. “I know how you feel. My staff can’t seem to locate some of my students. It seems that they all skipped class today!” She held up some of the photos revealing to be Gallus, Smolder, and Ocellus.

The Mayor jumped back slightly. It couldn’t have been… Was it a coincidence?

Probably. No… it was.

Well, now she could kill two birds with one stone. Possibly three, if it played out all right.

“Oh! I’ve seen them! All of them!”

“I figured that you… wait, you have?!”

“Yes! I saw them in town,” she said. “One of them was quite a pleasant one…” she added sarcastically.

Uh oh. She might be trying something. “Probably Smolder. Do you know exactly where?” Twilight asked her.

“Townhall. Same as last time.”

I’ll put a stop to it. “I’ll see if she’s causing any trouble.”

“She is,” the Mayor told her. “She’s said some… unpleasant things already.”

“Great,” Twilight replied. “I’ll follow you downtown.”

Twilight flew fast and low into Ponyville, while the Mayor raced into the capital, with an oddly sinister look on her face.

Strange reaction to passing a law… Twilight thought to herself, but maybe I’m looking too much into it. Nevertheless, she was on a mission. A mission to change the ways of the cursing dragon. Sounded more like a fantasy book than a real-life issue. Upon seeing a poorly built stand with a simple banner, she wondered if it was even that serious.

“…fuck that school and every pony and brainwashed creature in it!” she heard Smolder yell distantly, seeing her two middle claws in the air. Uh-huh, I knew she was lying to me!

She descended slowly, ducked nearby the crowd, not wanting to draw too much attention. Before reprimanding her, she wanted to hear what else they had to say.

“And let’s not forget free speech. If I can’t say something like: ‘I think that this town is a fucking mess!’, then what’s next? Soon they’ll be banning anything they want to! You won’t be able to criticize anycreature! What the fuck happened to free speech?” Smolder said as she walked up to her friends. “Do you have free speech?”

“Yeah!”

“I can’t hear you,” she told them, “let me ask that again. DO YOU HAVE FREE SPEECH?”

“YEAH!”

“Damn right you do! I’ve learned all my life that these words have power and I can’t think of a more perfect place or time to use them than RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW!”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. And not out of shock value. Out of amazement.

“BE YOUR-SELF!” Smolder chanted. “Say it with me!”

“BE YOUR-SELF! BE YOUR-SELF! BE YOUR-SELF!” her friends and the gathering of ponies yelled in unison.

Twilight looked in awe. Smolder had managed to unify her group of friends, as well as some passersby while retaining the language that had expelled her in the first place. She had made no effort to change.

But instead of anguish, she felt sympathy.

Looking at how happy this group of friends to work towards something together meant something. She realized that they weren’t using those words to hurt everycreature.

They were using them to come together.

She realized that her role in expelling Smolder pushed her away from the friends she knew and loved. She looked at Smolder, who had walked over to her friends for a group hug. Once they split apart to celebrate individually, she took Ocellus, grabbed and embraced her tightly with the biggest smile on her face.

She released her and walked back up to the front of the stage. “I’m here to tell everycreature here that it’s okay to be yourself, regardless of culture clash and right now, I’m damn fucking proud to use these words to bring you together! You can’t tell me what I can and can’t say!” she yelled as her friends celebrated behind her and the crowd hooted and hollered.

Twilight knew at this point; she had made a mistake in separating these friends and needed to right her wrongs. She started to walk up to the front of the stage, ready to offer forgiveness.

A hoof tapped her on the shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. “There you are, Princess Twilight!” a happy politician greeted her. “I have that ‘rescind-ban-legal-work’ for Spike right here! Here’s a duplicate for you!”

“Oh,” she said glancing it over. “I’ll send it to him. Thanks again.” She summoned a quick magic aura and poof went the paper.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” the mayor told her. “We all think a little too rough at the moment.”

Maybe I should rescind that whole ‘triple-chores’ thing, too. That’s a bit much.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Princess Twilight,” the Mayor said, looking over to the six on stage, “I’ve got protesters to arrest.”

Something about that seemed off to Twilight, but she replied supportively.

“Don’t let me interrupt you from— wait, what?!” She quickly realized how far things could go south at that moment. Arrest? Protesters? This wasn’t malicious… the Mayor had it all wrong! She ran to catch up.

Too late.

“JUST A MINUTE!” a familiar voice rang out among the crowd. A few ponies ran off as the Mayor stepped forward alongside a group of muscular security ponies. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to detain all of you,” she said while motioning a hoof in their direction.

“Yeah,” Smolder exclaimed, “on what charges? Free speech isn’t a fucking crime!”

The Mayor scowled at the dragon but started laughing as she handed another duplicate to the group. “Profane swearing, verbal harassment… well, the charges I could list are endless.”

Ocellus snagged the paper away with her aura, analyzing the document quickly. Aside from the fact that it wasn’t the official bill, everything else looked correct. She looked deeper into the text to try to find a loophole as her friends argued.

“Wait,” Sandbar chimed in. “I’ve lived here all of my life and I’ve never once heard of that being a law.”

“Passed just a few minutes ago,” she shot back.

Silverstream added to this discussion. “Well, surely we wouldn’t have done this if we knew that it was illegal.”

“I’d like to believe that,” she said, “but I can’t trust you. Guards, cuff them.”

Smolder looked back at her friends, then raised her arms and sighed. “Wait, if you’re going to take anyone, just take me. They don’t believe any of those things,” she lied.

Her friends collectively gasped and tried to reason with her.

“Yes, we do!” Gallus tried to speak up first. “We all agreed on this protest together! You’re NOT going to take the blame for yourself!”

Smolder turned to the Mayor and the security. “They’re just trying to protect me.”

“Smolder, no!” Silverstream said, holding back tears. “You can’t!”

Smolder jumped down from the stand and placed her arms behind her back. “Think of it this way: you take us all, and we all spend a day thinking about what we had done and learn fucking nothing. Or you can take me, punish me for everything, and lock me away for a long time.”

The Mayor looked at her, then at the group. She had a point, surprisingly, for a convict.

She agreed. “Take her. The rest of you, scram.”

Ocellus looked up from the bill. “W-wait a second,” she said, trying to stall, “how were you able to pass this new law so fast? Surely, your council didn’t agree on a matter that quickly. This seems more like a plot to incriminate Smolder and not a safety…”

“Funny you should ask,” she interrupted. “This was signed by Princess Twilight herself earlier today. And anything the Princess signs must take effect, as soon as possible.”

The six looked at her, each with a different look of pure hatred, save for Smolder, who smirked, letting out a huff.

“You motherfucker…” Yona growled at Twilight, a death glare in her eyes.

“B-But…” Twilight stammered. “But I didn’t know that you all were going to protest this! Or that some creature was going to get arrested! I was just doing what I thought was right!”

“Yeah, well,” Smolder said, her fists cuffed behind her back and the security walking her away. “Sometimes you need to think before you act.” She looked straight ahead as she was placed into a cage.

“But- but you… she…” Twilight tried to reason, as she turned away from the prisoner and to her fellow protestors.

Gallus had made his way up to her first. “Way to fucking go, Headmare Twilight.”

“Princess of Friendship, huh?” Sandbar said while walking away. “So that was a fucking lie.”

Yona held a look of disdain as she wanted to say something, but instead, she sighed angrily and stormed off with her other friends.

Ocellus had tears in her eyes as she approached Twilight, breathing deeply. “Are you happy now, Headmare Twilight? You took the one friend I care about the most away from me,” she said shakily. “I hope you’re fucking happy!” she finished shouting as she ran away sobbing.

Silverstream looked surprisingly calm, maybe a little irked, but maybe she could be reasoned with. Twilight walked up to her and attempted to communicate.

“Silverstream, I…” she began.

“Don’t you DARE, ‘Silverstream, I…” me, you bitch!” she mocked. “Do you realize what you’ve fucking done?! You’ve imprisoned Smolder! Over what? Some bullshit charges that YOU put into place because you couldn’t handle some fucking curse words for a day! Smolder is my friend, Headmare Twilight. She may come from somewhere you don’t like, but if you think for one fucking second that you can determine what she can and can’t say, then you have no right to be royalty!” she stopped to catch her breath and refill her anger. “I’m NEVER coming back to your fucking school EVER AGAIN, you… you… stuck-up cunt!”

Twilight couldn’t move. She felt the punch of every forbidden word right to her heart. Her guilt for what she had done was too overwhelming.

Silverstream shut her eyes, tears leaking as she flew away to the rest of her friends, all of whom were going lengths to distance themselves from the sham of an educational establishment that a corrupt monarch owned and operated.

“Hmph. The nerve of those delinquents…” the mayor said as she came over to console the somber princess. “They are more than welcome to join their friend. Guards...”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. “Leave them be.”

“With all due respect,” the Mayor looked at her, “there is no time for any of your lessons and—"

“Leave. Them. Be.” Twilight repeated intently.

The Mayor sighed disappointedly. “Guards…” she responded, and waved them off, signaling that their objective was no more. She then turned around and resumed her business.

Twilight couldn’t think straight. The harsh words from the other students, but particularly Silverstream’s echoed in Twilight’s head.

“Princess of Friendship, huh? So that was a fucking lie.”

“Are you happy now, Headmare Twilight? You took the one friend I care about the most away from me… I hope you’re fucking happy!”

“She may come from somewhere you don’t like, but if you think for one fucking second that you can determine what she can and can’t say, then you have no right to be royalty!”

It was becoming too much to bear.

“Twilight!” a familiar voice called out to her. She looked up to see a purple dragon running at her while holding the paper, looking ecstatic. “I just got the good news! I’m allowed in town square again!”

Twilight hung her head again and ventured forward.

“Hey,” he asked her, arms at his hips. “What’s wrong?”

Twilight looked at Spike and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Spike.”

“What?” He looked confused. “Twilight, it’s okay, I forgive you. I made a silly mistake and I’ve learned from it.”

“No,” she said, “that’s not it…

“Look, if you don’t forgive me, that’s fine, too,” he said, somewhat oblivious to Twilight’s response. “I understand that something this extreme may take some time to sink in. I know that if I were you in this case, I might need a week or— wait, Twilight, why are you crying?”

She gathered herself for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“Smolder has been arrested.”

Author's Note

And thus ends part two. Part three is coming when I feel like organizing the trial in a methodical and meaningful way.

I am so glad I finally got this shit done. These last few days have been so much fun to write and I'm glad I was able to finally put this one out.

If you made it this far, thank you. I mean it. From the bottom of my heart. Some of you have waited for this for a long time and I hoped to deliver.

Any questions? Concerns? Criticisms? Let me know. Thank you for reading and I'll see you in five months!

By the way, guess my favorite line in this story and I'll commend you on your adept reading and wizardry.