The Mare from the Moon and Berry’s Brew

by Syeekoh

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Comedy, Narcotics, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Princess Luna, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Alternate Universe, Fluttershy
Length: 5211

Princess Luna finds out that Berry Punch has the best beer in Equestria and she’s so in love with it she won’t let the party stop until she’s done.

Princess Luna finds out that Berry Punch has the best beer in Equestria and she’s so in love with it she won’t let the party stop until she’s done.

Cover art by ThePoneDrome!

Extra-special help provied by Posh, Norm de Plume, R5h, and MagnetBolt!

Published 2019-08-13 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-13 23:20:02 UTC

One for Me and One for You

Applejack took a sip of her pint and put it on the bar. The beer was good—it was always good in Berry’s place—but she was more concerned with the time on her phone. She tugged on the collar of the button-up.

“She’s late.” She grunted and took another sip.

“Ach, please.” Berry, behind the bar, took a lanky stallion’s credit card and nodded. “Ye’ll worry the snout off yer face with a look like that.”

“What look?” Applejack growled as she set the glass down.

“Y’know, that look you get when y’get all grumpy.”

Applejack squinted her eyes at the off-tune fiddling accompanying the din of the establishment. “I have half a mind to give that bear what-for.”

Berry Punch chuckled as she poured out a beer from tap and handed it to the stallion from earlier with a resolute clink. “Oh, sure, you kin beat up the bear, but do you know how to tune a violin?” she asked. Applejack shook her head and kept her eye trained on the time.

“Yeah, you see? You cold-cock that bear, and then we’ll have no music to soothe the horde. You want ‘im to play well, you best contact Fluttershy.” Berry pointed at a mare across the room and nodded. “Sorry, got to tend to customers. The only thing worse than an off-tune ursine is an angry drunkard,” she finished as she scurried off across the tavern.

Applejack nodded and took another sip, firing off a text then looking back at her phone, eyes squinted.

“Where in Chrysalis’s name are you, Twilight?”

As if on cue, Twilight blinked into the tavern, sitting on the bar. Eyes wide and lips puckered, she slipped off of the bar, darted her head around, and rushed towards an open barrel of ale, which she promptly emptied her stomach into.

Applejack chortled as she put her phone down and took a deep swig out of her glass. “Nice of you to make an entrance, Twi.” She looked over her shoulder to locate Berry. “Yo, it looks like Ponyville’s favorite whore added an extra ingredient to your latest batch!”

“Technically,” Twilight said as she held onto the edges of the barrel for support and wiped her muzzle with the tip of a wing, “I’m Ponyville’s only whore. And technically, it’s several ingredients.” She took a breath and looked up pensively. “Although I guess that depends on your definition of what chyme is, and what the ratio of chiroquine semen to chyme to succubus stomach acid—”

She was interrupted when Berry smacked the back of her head, sending her face-deep in ale. “I don’t care what y’added to it, it’s coming out of your ass, and not in the usual fashion!”

Twilight pulled her head out, inhaled, and smiled weakly. “Are you sure we couldn’t barter?”

“Not unless y’kin give me a lay worth two thousand bits.”

Twilight eased her herself off of the barrel and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I could, but I’m not really mentally prepared for that right now.” She thumbed her phone. “Here.”

Berry’s cleavage buzzed. She pulled out her own phone and leered. “Okay, good, we’re all squared up.” She put her phone back where she found it and pointed at a mare currently wiping down a table. “You! Seal this up and put it in the back!”

“Yes, Miss Punch.” She clacked over, screwed a lid onto the barrel, then levitated it in a copper glow and walked away with it.

Berry gazed in the employee’s direction as she left the area. “She’s a hard worker, and she’s got a fine arse to boot,” she snickered as she elbowed Twilight, “keeps the customers comin’ back, yanno?”

“It’s not the butt on her back you should be most proud of,” Twilight said as she took a seat next to Applejack at the bar, “but the butt in her heart.” She collapsed to her elbows and dropped her head into her hands. “By Chrysalis, I need a drink.”

Berry scurried back behind the bar. “ I s’pose you’re right.” She put a bottle and a shot glass in front of Twilight. “The usual?” Twilight nodded as she poured herself out a shot and slammed it.

“So,” Applejack asked, “how was the moon?”

Twilight took another shot. “I wasn’t there on vacation. I was busy being the dandelion in a chiroquine sandwich for two hours.” She gazed up, cradling the shotglass in her hands. “I did get to see the earth, though. It’s lovely.”

Applejack finished her drink and flagged down Berry. “Glad to hear you got to have some fun with the batfolk, at least.”

“Well, my job is fun.” The bear hit a particularly wrong note, which caused most of the patrons to cringe. “It’s just… you know, same thing, day in and day out.” She drank another shot. “You know, you can only hear ‘suck my dick’ or ‘lemme fuck your ass’ or ‘can we just cuddle’ so many times before it becomes routine.”

“I happen to like routine myself.” Applejack nodded as Berry handed her a full glass and took away the empty one. In a dark corner, a drinking song was starting up in a vain attempt to drown out the fiddling bear. “There’s a certain comfort in knowing what the cards in your hand are.”

Twilight rested her head on the bar and twirled the shot glass around. “I suppose, but I’m a scientist. Finding the unknown is my calling.” She groaned. “I just happened to monetize my main source of nutrients.”

Berry slammed her hand down, causing Twilight to jolt up. “Speaking of,” Berry said with a grin, “you happened to get the word out about this place, right?”

Twilight nodded and poured out another shot. “Yes, of course. I honor all advertising contracts. And judging by my recent venture, you should be expecting about twenty chiroquines in the near future.” She downed her shot.

“Well, if their money’s good, I’ll serve ‘em.”

Applejack snickered. “That’s the trademark hospitality I’ve come to expect from ya.” She checked her phone. “So when can she expect the bump in business?”

Twilight shrugged and pulled out her tablet, setting it on the bar. “I don’t know. They said they sounded interested, and they’d come when they had time.” She unsheathed the pen from the device, a lavender glow surrounding it. “It’s just an advertisement, not a compulsion.”

“Ponyfeathers, you doin’ math here?” She slipped her drink. “Anyway, I know shelling out my hard-earned bits to you was worth it. I haven’t—”

“Harold, give me that instrument right now!“

The entire bar turned head and spectated as Fluttershy, in all of her waifish glory, stomped across the bar, wings spread and hand outstretched. The bear stopped playing and looked at Fluttershy, appearing to weigh his options.

He knew better than to argue with Fluttershy.

With violin in hand, she twisted the knobs and plucked at the strings, retracting her wings as she focused. “Harry, what have I told you about playing out of tune?” She grunted. “You’ll never get better that way.”

The bear raised his arms in a defensive posture, bow still in paw, and groaned.

“I know you have a lot of trouble with fine motor manipulation because of your paws, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.” She plucked the strings a few more times, then smiled and offered the instrument back to Harry. He positioned himself, and drew the bow across the strings, then played a few notes. The crowd cheered in response.

“Wow,” a mare sitting with a group of friends said, “I didn’t know that bear could actually play!”

“Oh yes, Raindrops,” Fluttershy said with a nod, “I taught him myself.”

“Play Daybreaker’s Pride!”

“Yeah, Daybreaker’s Pride!”

Harry and Fluttershy looked at each other and nodded, the bear starting to play.

Fluttershy clasped her hands together and sang, “Oh once lived an alicorn so fair, with lustrous flowing rainbow hair!“ She twirled, her dress rising with the rhythm. “She was loved by one and all, on every road in ev’ry hall!“ Fluttershy stomped with a hoof, the crowd responding in kind. “But as we know, in due time, she thought herself the most sublime!”

“SHE THOUGHT HERSELF THE MOST SUBLIME!” the crowd roared. Fluttershy danced to Applejack and grabbed her arm, who stood up and joined along.

She cleared her throat and and sang, “She loved it when the sun did glow, ‘cross field and hill and hidden grove!“ Applejack clapped her hands rhythmically, the patrons joining in. “Her love of day was quite a sight, only matched by her hate of night!” The crowd booed at that. “So a plan she hatched at one sunrise, to have day all day to night’s demise!”

“DAY ALL DAY TO NIGHT’S DEMISE!” The patrons were on their hooves, dancing and clapping with what little rhythm there was. Applejack yanked Twilight to her feet, who was mid-shot. She looked around, a blush on her cheeks as the bear played a bridge to give her time to finish. She drank the shot and slammed the glass on the table.

She sang, “She broke the day itself in twain, so we would never have the night again!” Twilight slammed on the table. “Her sisters finally saw her folly, and moon and lust then joined the volley!“ The entire crowd cheered and Twilight pointed up. “Together they beat her hand in hand, and her pride never destroyed our land!”

“HER PRIDE NEVER DESTROYED OUR LAND!” The crowd yelled. They clinked their glasses with each other as the three singers bowed and Harry played a rousing finale.

“Well,” Fluttershy exhaled, “any requests for Harry?”

The patrons lined up to give the bear their requests as the three friends sat down at the bar. Applejack pat Fluttershy on the back. “I am so glad you came to give Harry a how-do-you-do.”

Fluttershy raised a finger. “Just a glass of water please.” She smiled. “Yeah, sometimes Harry doesn’t think he needs help because he’s a big, strong, bear.”

“Another shot glass, please.” Twilight poured and took a shot as Berry gave Fluttershy and Twilight what they asked for. “It’s a good thing he had a friend like you, or who knows what would happen.”

“Aye, he’s got a good—” Berry started before before she looked up and her eyes popped open. The three friends sitting at the bar turned around to she what she was so surprised about. Their breaths caught in their chest.

In the door stood a plainly dressed pony, wings folded behind them, horn standing up straight. The only hint of femininity was in the shape of her muzzle. She smirked.

“I didn’t want to interrupt the song. I love that one, but I have it on good authority that you have the best beer in the land?” She strode in, flanked by twenty or so stallions who dwarfed her, sporting coiled leathery wings.

Berry nodded, then took a breath. “Aye, I do. It’s been rated best brew across all of Equestria, Princess Luna.”

Luna nodded and held out an open hand behind her, then walked towards the bar, leaning on it next to Twilight. “I understand that if we tell you we were sent by her, the first drink is free?” she said as she pointed at Twilight. She rifled through her pockets and handed Twilight a bank note. “Here is the tip my detachment forgot to give you. They were not exactly at full mental capacity, so I forgive their rudeness.”

Twilight nodded. “Tips are never expected but always appreciated.” She looked back and waved at the guards. A few of them blushed and others turned their heads away. A few enterprising individuals waved back.

Applejack leaned in. “All of them?” Twilight nodded, a smile on her face, upon which Applejack looked away and took a deep drink. “By Chrysalis, you’re a real trooper.”

Fluttershy’s gaze traced between Twilight and the chiroquines, then she put a hand to her lips. “Oh, wow.”

Berry nodded. “Aye. First drink is free. I’m confident that once you try the first, the rest come flowin’ like water.”

Luna nodded. “Bring me your finest brew.”

“Well, that’s all of them,” Berry said as she grabbed a glass and began to fill it, “so I’ll give you my personal favorite.” The glass full, Berry put it on the bar.

“This would be the one in the advertisement?” Luna lifted the glass with a dark blue grip, twirling it around.

Berry nodded. “Aye. Now are ya gonna spend all night twirling it around in your magic like a ballerina?”

“Sorry, I was just admiring the light traveling through it. It’s very lovely.”

“It’s even more lovely if ya drink it.”

Luna nodded, then took a sip as the entire bar looked on, swishing it around in her mouth, then swallowing it. She put the glass on the bar, then pulled out her phone and started typing.

Everyone stared at the display

“What’s she doing?” Applejack whispered.

Twilight shook her head. “Don’t know.”

Luna finished typing, put her phone away, then stared Berry in the face.

Berry’s breasts vibrated. She reached in, opened up the phone notification, and stared for a moment.

Fluttershy gulped. “What’s it say?”

Berry looked it over. “It’s,” she said, a smile growing on her face, “it’s a five star review from Princess Luna, recommending Berry’s Brewery and Inn!”

All of the patrons cheered and the bear started up the tune again.

Berry looked at Luna. Luna smirked, pulled out a card, and tossed it on the bar, where it audibly clanked on the surface. “Drinks are on me tonight.” Luna turned around and faced the tavern. “For the whole bar!” Luna turned around and slammed the rest of the beer into her throat. “Tonight we celebrate!”

Everyone at the establishment crowded the bar at that proclamation, leaving Twilight and friends to grab their drinks and find a table.

Twilight poured herself a shot and drank it. “I love it when everything works out.”

“But what happens when Berry starts running out?” Fluttershy sipped her water.

Applejack chuckled and finished her glass. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

The tavern had calmed down from the hullabaloo caused earlier by Luna’s proclamation, most of the casual drinkers and responsible ponies with families having gone off to their homes. Applejack and Fluttershy were seated at a table with Harry and a chiroquine named Night Blade, and Raindrops from earlier was leading the remnants in more tunes, this one called The Tales of Twilight the Whore.

Twilight took another shot and giggled. “I find that one a little embarrassing when I’m in the center of it, but it’s kind of surreal that they respect me so much.”

Luna, now red in the face, grabbed Twilight’s bottle, and poured herself a shot. “Well, have you not performed impressive feats worth regaling others about?” She drank the shot, then retched. “Your tolerance for taste is impressive in and of itself.”

“It kind of has to be when you’re in my line of work.” Twilight tapped her fingers on the bar. “And, yeah.” She grabbed her bottle back and poured out a shot for herself. “I suppose I’ve done spectacular things.” Twilight sighed as she picked up the shot glass. “It’d be nice if I was recognized more for my contributions to the sciences.”

“I have heard tales from my sister Chrysalis that you are quite the polymath, yes.” Luna put a finger across her lips as she gazed at the table where Harry was seated. “I wonder how that bear learned how to play the fiddle so well.”

“You know what they say.” Twilight downed her shot. ‘Practice, practice, practice.”

Luna chortled. “I suppose so.” She grabbed the bottle and poured herself another shot. “And the night is still young yet.”

Twilight pursed her lips, then pulled out her phone and checked the time. “Actually, it’s four-thirty and the bar closes at sunrise. You have about—”

Luna drank her shot and put the glass on the bar. “Like I said, the night is still young, and it will end when I’ve had my fill.”

Twilight nodded and put her phone away. She grabbed the bottle and poured out another shot. Then it hit her.

“… You go ahead and do that. I’m going to check on my friends.”

Luna nodded and raised her finger as Twilight scampered away to the table with the three ponies and the bear. Night Blade waved at her as she took a seat.

“Salutations, fair Twilight,” he said as she waved back. “I have to say you have very well-developed rectal muscles.”

She put on a grin. “Thank you! I always say a healthy body supports a healthy mind.” She dropped the smile and tapped on the table. “Okay, girls, we have a problem.”

Applejack and Fluttershy looked over. Night Blade did, too, as did Harry.

Applejack hummed. “What? You forgot to turn on D-n-D and have to go out on business?”

Twilight shook her head. “Not that. I made sure to turn it on.” She wagged her head at the bar. “She’s not leaving until she’s had enough to drink.”

“Well, she’ll have to leave when the bar closes.” Fluttershy sipped her water.

“Oh, that’s no issue,” Night Blade said while gripping some fancy looking drink. “What time does the bar close?”

Applejack checked her phone. “Sunrise.”

Fluttershy, Night Blade, Harry, and Applejack stopped what they were doing and looked up at each other.

“Now hold on a minute,” Applejack said as she put her phone in her pocket, “didn’t she drink the Dragon Lord under the table?”

Fluttershy grasped her jaw. “And she controls the sunrise… oh dear, this could be an issue.”

Night Blade took a sip of his gay drink. “Why not simply ask her to leave and raise the sun?”

“Oh yes, let’s just kick the Calandier Princess out of the bar and force her to raise the sun.” Applejack grabbed the side of her face. “That’ll be a great PR move for Berry.” She sighed. “Not to mention her pride wouldn’t allow for a customer to leave unhappy.”

Twilight took a breath. “Not to mention she’ll probably run out of stock before Princess Luna is satisfied.” She steepled her fingers. “If only there was a way to expedite the process.”

“We just need,” Fluttershy said as she leaned back and cradled her chin, “a way to get her drunk super quickly without her realizing that’s what we’re doing.”

The three of them bowed their heads. Harry remained a bear.

“I may have a solution.”

The three of them looked up at Night Blade.

“Do you not remember that the Princess also enjoy contests?” He sipped his drink. “You just have to challenge her to a drinking contest to sate her thirst!”

Applejack widened her eyes. “That’s a plum fantastic idea!” She flagged down a waitress. “Miss, get this stallion a brew!” The Mare nodded and clacked over to the bar.

Twilight pulled out her tablet and poked at it. “I’ll draw up a contract to officialize the wager.”

Harry was being a bear in a chair.

“It’s a good idea, but who could we get to match Princess Luna’s legendary fortitude?” Fluttershy asked as she looked around the bar. “I see the usual heavy drinkers are here, but I doubt they’d be a match for her.”

Applejack bit her lip. “You’re right. Twilight, put in a clause about accepting challengers until she’s the only one left standing.”

“One step ahead of you!” Twilight decisively tapped a few more times. “Alright, it’s done! A contract fit for a demon!” She waved her hand and called for Princess Luna, who sauntered over to the table and took a seat, bottle and shotglass in hand.

“Corporal Blade,” she said as she poured herself a shot, “I assume you’re being mindful of your manners?”

He nodded. “Of course, my liege.” He sipped his fruity drink. “Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.”

“Splendid.” She poured out a shot and offered it to Twilight, who graciously downed it. “Twilight, I feared our friendship had soured when you left my side.” She grinned and took a sip directly from the bottle. “I am heartened to see that isn’t the case.”

Twilight shook her head. “Of course not!” She presented Luna the tablet. “The five of us were just coming up with a drinking contest for us to partake in.”

Luna grasped the tablet and looked it over. “Back in my day, we made oral wagers.”

Night Blade opened his mouth and then closed it after Applejack gave him a glare that could break bones.

“Okay.” Luna’s eyes darted up and down. “So, it says here that I win if no one in the bar is left standing, but I lose if I pass out or I am unable to drink anymore.” She chortled and signed the contract. “It hardly seems fair. You should have made it the entire town.” Luna looked around. “So who is my first challenger?”

“The bear!” Twilight blurted.

Applejack glared at Twilight. Fluttershy gasped in shock. Night Blade looked at Harry. Luna raised an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry looked up at everyone and made a bear noise.

“The bear, you say?” Luna asked as she stroked her chin.

Twilight glanced at Fluttershy. “Oh, uh,” Fluttershy stumbled, “yes, Harry frequents this bar all the time!” She leaned in Luna’s direction. “And I have no idea what he gets up to.”

Harry stood up, towering over everyone at the bar and smacked his chest with a paw, then pointed at Luna.

“Very well.” Luna stood up and extended her wings. “Harry, I challenge you to a contest of drink!”

The bear bent over and roared in the Princess’s face.

“We’ll have to make this fair, though.” She proceeded to grab the bottle and chug the remainder of it, each gulp passing through her throat horrifying those present, then smashed it on the floor, attracting those who were unaware of the contest.

A crowd now forming around the table, Harry flagged down a waitress and pointed at the bottle. She nodded and clacked away, returning with a full bottle. He fumbled with it before handing it to Fluttershy, who screwed off the top and handed it back to him. The bear proceeded to stare down Luna as he took long, slow quaffs out of the bottle before finishing it and breaking it on the floor.

The crowd cheered, and another employee stood in tow with a broom and dustpan encased in viridian magic.

Luna steeled her gaze and flagged down the waitress again. “I see you motion to be a worthy opponent.”

“I didn’t know Harry could drink like that,” Applejack whispered to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “I knew his borderline alcoholism would come in handy one day.”

Twilight bit her tongue as she watched Luna effortlessly down another bottle of hard liquor and shatter it on the floor. Luna had quite a bit to drink tonight already, but Harry looked like he felt that last bottle and the Princess just inhaled the current bottle like air.

Fluttershy opened the next bottle and Harry drank it, getting a bit wobbly halfway through.

Luna snorted as the waitress brought her another bottle. She grabbed it and set it down in front of her, eyes trained on Harry.

Harry returned the gaze, then stumbled and caught himself on the table.

Luna snickered and fluttered her wings. “I would think that an ursine of your caliber would have more fight in you.”

Harry groared, using the table to get himself back upright, then smacked his chest again.

“You’re a brave fool, you know that?” Luna grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the top
She downed the bottle and threw it to the ground, where it clinked and rolled away.

Applejack glanced at the bottle, then stood up and clapped her hands. “Come on, Harry, you got ‘er on the ropes!”

Harry nodded as he was handed another bottle, top already removed. He put it to his mouth, pulled it away, then started drinking from it.

He got about a quarter-way through. He stood there, bottle leaned down. He fell backwards, the bottle hitting the ground and spilling its contents before he met the floor with a resounding thud that the patrons could feel in their feet.

The crowd went silent. Then cheered.

Money was swapped between ponies as bets were settled.

Applejack looked at her phone and thumbed it a bit. Twilight’s own phone buzzed and she checked the notification. She looked up at Applejack, who nodded.

“Well,” Twilight said as she put her phone away, “I think your first victory of the night comes with a celebratory round,” she said before she looked at the waitress, “with a special batch of ale that I helped make.”

The waitress looked at Twilight, her brow raising and the corners of her mouth dropping before she steeled her face and nodded.

Luna rocked backwards into her seat. “I would think a toast to your fallen comrade would be more appropriate,” she said with a grin.

“He’ll be fine.” Fluttershy waved a hand in Luna’s direction. “He does this at home often enough.”

Luna pursed her lips. “Have you considered finding a counselor for Harry?”

Fluttershy sipped her water.”He said he’ll go when he’s ready.” Luna nodded as the waitress returned with a full pitcher of beer and five mugs, one for each pony sitting at the table.

Twilight hesitantly reached for the pitcher before Applejack snatched the handle, winked at Twilight, then poured out a glass for each.

Luna leered at her glass and wafted it. “Hmm… a standard dark ale, with hints of citrus and… I can’t identify the last ingredient very well. I want to say some manner of seafood, but that doesn’t sound right.”

“It’ll be fine,” Applejack said as she took a sip, her cheeks immediately reddening. “It tastes great!”

“Very well, then.” Luna grilled the mug and raised it. “To good friends and good drink!”

The five of them clinked their glasses and downed the beverage. Twilight felt her face heat up as she looked around the table. First, Fluttershy grasped her forehead and slipped out of her chair. Then Night Blade clutched his stomach and passed out.

Luna fanned her face. “What is in this beverage? Why am I getting intoxicated so quickly?”

Applejack snickered. “Trade secret.” Her head hit the table.

Twilight raised a finger and pointed at the shotglass, the waitress bringing a second one to the table. “I told you, Princess, I helped make it.” She poured out two shots. “I’m guessing I got something wrong in the fermentation process. It’s best we continue like this.”

Luna nodded and downed the shot. “If you want, I have several books on the subject I could lend to you.”

Twilight drank her shot and poured out two more. “I’d certainly appreciate that.”

Luna picked up the shotglass and examined it. “I get the distinct sense that this is some kind of ruse.” She drank the shot, which caught in her throat for a moment before she drank it.

“Me?” Twilight asked, putting a hand to her chest. “A demon? Pulling a fast one?” She drank her shot. “You’re kidding, right?” She poured out two more shots.

“That sounds like sarcasm to me.” Luna missed the glass on the first grab, then successfully gripped it and drank it. “If this is a trick, you’ve made your mentor incredibly proud.”

Twilight sipped her shot, watching Luna get more unsteady. “I have no one to make proud except myself.” She finished her drink and poured out two more shots.

“I will,” Luna said as she grabbed the shot glass, “I will find out what’s in this brew.” She put it to her lips, then pulled away and put it on the table. “It’s simply.” Luna rested her head on her arms. “Simply delectable.”

“I can give you the recipe tomorrow.” Twilight looked at Luna’s head, then tentatively poked it. No movement. Twilight grinned. “After you wake up.”

She pulled out her phone and dialed, then held it to her face. “Hey. It’s Twilight. You need to raise the sun.” She bit her lip. “Luna’s kind of passed out drunk. Where am I? Berry’s Brewery and—”

She felt the air displace behind her. She looked up to see the other patrons either staring or deciding not to stare. “Uh, hello?”

“You know damn well where I am,” she heard both behind her and on her phone.

She turned her head to see her mentor, Chrysalis— gnarled horn, tattered insectine wings and a very fashionable bathrobe adorning her slim figure. Twilight stood up, put her phone away, and bowed her head at Chrysalis. “Good evening, Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis glared at Twilight, then deliberately put her phone in the bathrobe pocket. “It’s five-thirty in the morning.”

Twilight blushed and presented a smile. “Good morning, Chry—”

“Not the point.” Chrysalis looked around and spotted Luna, snoring gently on the table. “This is a nice place,” she said as she walked over to her sister and checked her vitals. “What did you drug her with?”

Twilight shook her head. “I didn’t drug her with anything.”

Chrysalis paid no mind as she spotted the pitcher, sat down, poured out a shot for herself, then drank it. She sat there and took a breath.

“Queen Chrysalis?”

“You puked in this, didn’t you?”

Twilight opened a hand. “Eh, not in that, but in the barrel it was in.” Chrysalis twisted her head backwards and pierced Twilight with her gaze. “Um, it was, just, she said she wasn’t going to switch the night into day until she had her fill and that was an hour ago!”

Chrysalis cocked her twisted head, sending a chill down Twilight’s spine.

“Look, she drank a bear under the table! We were desperate! We all know the story of Daybreaker’s Pride!”

Chrysalis slowly pushed her chair out, stood up, then twisted her head back where it was supposed to be. “Very well. It seems you’ve been paying attention.” She grasped Luna by the scruff of her neck and picked her up. “I’ll take her back home.” She looked around the bar. “And everyone stop staring. Haven’t you been told it’s rude?”

With that, she left the bar, passed out sister in tow.

Twilight saw daylight shimmer off of the pitcher and beamed.

“All right!” one of the employees barked. “Bar is closed! Everyone out!” The patrons groaned and gnarred as they shuffled out of their seats and migrated towards the door.

Twilight looked around, then tapped on the shoulder of the employee with the great butt. “Excuse me, but could I get a room for my friends?” she asked, waving her hands at the pile of bodies surrounding the table, one of whom was a bear.

“Absolutely,” she said as she straightened the seats. “I’ll put your stay on the Princess’s tab, too.”

Twilight nodded.

The butt in her heart is amazing.

Author's Note

Inspired by this little ditty: