BIZARRO Am NOT iN EQUESTRIA

by Hotel_Chicken

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Profanity, Gore, Bulk Biceps, Violence, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Trixie, Adventure, Equestria Girls
Length: 106296

Never in all my life would I ever imagine that I'd end up in a variation of my little sister's cartoon. For some reason I'm stuck in Equestria as Bizarro, except every"pony" looks like their Equestrian Girls counterparts with wings, horns, and tails.

CURRENTLY UP FOR ADOPTION. SEE LINK HERE.

My name is Michael Goodman Bizarro, and never in all my life would I ever imagine that I'd end up in a variation of my little sister's favorite cartoon.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know. I was having a good time at comic con in my Bizarro costume when I bought some stuff from the Merchant and was sent to Equestria. Now I either need to find a way home or adjust to my new life as Bizarro.

I do not own any of the characters or art in this story. Characters and story are from DC and Hasbro respectively.

Majority of art owned by Eric Powell.

Crossovers
From The Stars and The Underground

Featured 8/16/19. Thanks to all of you who've read my story I was featured. I hope I can continue to entertain you all with my story.

Featured 8/17/19. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying the story so far, and I'm grateful towards everyone who has followed me or added my story to their Favorites. I hope I can continue to entertain you.

Published 2019-08-16 01:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-08 00:31:19 UTC

Prologue: A Rock and a Hard Bargain.

Ah Wizard World Comic Con. A time of fun, friendship, laughter, and overall great memories. And the thing that led me straight down the rabbit hole into Equestria.

Unlike most days, that day was somewhat of a downcast as light rain trickled down from the sky. I, of course, had the brilliant idea of not brining my umbrella because Siri told me the day was going to be a nice and sunny day. Lying bitch.

So, I was standing in the long line outside, using my red tattered cape as a makeshift umbrella to protect my white body paint. I was waiting outside in line for fifteen minutes, all so that I could wait in line inside for thirty minutes, and then wait in another line for ten minutes, all leading up to me waiting for Eric Powell, one of my favorite comic book artists. The way he drew the Goon from the comic series The Goon was breathtaking to me. In a way, it filled me with a sense of nostalgia. The worn looking colors, the hard-jagged lines, and especially the designs of the characters. Oh, it all worked together beautifully. I already bought the autographed series on Ebay a while back, now I was going to get my Escape From Bizarro World comics singed personally instead of just buying them online.

As I waited impatiently for the line to move faster, I made it inside and got through the other lines fairly quickly. I still had a few hours to kill before Eric Powell would arrive for autographs, so I walked around the convention floor. I saw a lot of beautiful art work from various self-published artists and bought a few comics that caught my eye, such as Chew written by John Layman with art by Rob Guillory, and The Living Corpse written by Ritter and Ryan Plato and art by Ken Haeser and Bus Hasson. I actually got it autographed too for just a few extra bucks, with a little drawing of the main character next to it. I loved the art of their comics, it reminded me a lot of Eric’s darker tone of art with a good amount of humor and weirdness thrown in to make it unique. I mean, an FDA agent who eats corpses to solve food related murder cases and battle food powered super-villains, who wouldn’t want to read that!?

I also bought my little sister some Equestria Girls merchandise. I swear, ever since they released that web series that’s all she watches now. To be fair, she was really disheartened when the Monster High franchise dried up and died, so Equestria Girls was a breath of vital fresh air to her. The amount of times she made me watch it had slowly begun to eat away at my sanity. I actually caught myself humming a few songs from the show, as well as having a few… vivid dreams about some of the characters. And don’t you dare judge me, it’s not like I can control my dreams. After being subjected to Equestria Girls over and over and over again, it just naturally wormed its way into the deeper parts of my subconscious.

I bought her a few toys plus a few extra that I would keep hidden away for a while, trust me, when you have younger siblings you learn to plan ahead of their destructive habits. I would not have another shaved Frankie Stein incident on my hands. That poor doll… and my poor ears. Note to all older siblings of the world, never underestimate the lung capacity of a eight year old.

After heading outside to drop all of my purchases in the trunk of my car I went back inside and checked my phone. I still had about half an hour until the lines started to form an hour early. And yes, I planned to wait an hour in line before he even showed up, again, don’t judge me.

Making my way towards the other side of the convention a large stall caught my immediate attention. It was a large booth with pretty much every prop and costume piece imaginable. The person running it must have just arrived because I could have sworn I didn’t see him earlier. I had already seen most of the other stalls so one more before waiting in line wouldn’t hurt, plus the booth was completely devoid of other convention goers so at least I would have time to haggle prices if something of interest caught my eye.

Walking up to the booth I saw the person who was most likely operating it. He was dressed in a long black leather trench coat with a hoodie that looked a few sizes too big for his head. The only visible part of his face were his eyes, as the rest of it was covered in a long purple and white scarf mask, at least I think that’s what it was called. Based on his appearance I was reminded of that one zombie video game I watched my friend Josh play when we were younger. I think he was called the Trader or something.

“Hello stranger. What're you buyin?" He asked in a strange accent. Instantly, I knew my hunch about this guy was right. Well, if he was going to be in character, why shouldn’t I?

“Goodbye! Me am Bizarro.” I said in my best Bizarro impression, truth be told it was crap but still slightly passable. “Me am browsing for shiny things to buy.”

“Oh, shiny things ey? Well, I think I have something right up your alley. Truth be told, I didn’t think I’d be able to sell this item, it’s not every day I meet a buyer such as you.”

He told me as he held out an oval stone slab with a piece of string attached to it so it could act as a necklace. Written on the stone were the words, “BIZARRO #1” complete with the second backwards R. I’ll admit, it was a pretty good find, and something that could really add onto my costume. The purposefully ripped sleeves at my wrist and tattered dirty crimson cape were both nice little details that I added on not because they were necessary, but because it helped sell the look of my nearly ghoulish looking character. In reality, I really only needed white body paint and a backwards S on my chest, but I liked going the extra mile to make my costume stand out a bit. And this necklace would be the last piece I would need to really complete the look.

“And, I also have this nifty kryptonite ring as well. I was hoping to sell it to a Lex Luthor cosplayer, but alas I haven’t seen a lot of those around.” The man added. This was already looking better and better. I don’t know why I was so excited though, I would probably never wear these things again after this. But for some reason I felt like I NEEDED to get these props.

“How much?” I asked, completely dropping my role-play.

“Well the Kryptonite ring comes with this real lead ring box so… $8. And then there’s the necklace, I’ll let you have that for $10.”

That much?! That's so Cheap! I thought to myself. I could walk out of there with two awesome props for the price of an extra-large pepperoni pizza. But, something in my mind was making me feel especially greedy. A little voice that told me I could get it cheaper, and that if I couldn't I could just buy them for the asking price.

Well, time to haggle. “I don’t really have any ones on me. Could I buy the two for $15?” I asked.

The man went quiet for a moment as he contemplated my counter offer. I had expected this, but I definitely didn’t expect him to start chuckling to himself. “You know, not many people haggle the sale price when I offer it to them. I must say, it’s a somewhat refreshing change of pace. Fine, you can have it for $15.”

Well, that went better than expected, usually I would have to start walking away and pretend to be disinterested before they lower the price. At the time I just thought I was having a really lucky day. I just got some new comics, bought my little sister some presents, and was about to get my comics autographed by Eric Powell. Add the fact that I just haggled some nice props for a little less money and that day was looking up to be a great day. But unfortunately, nothing good lasts forever.

As I paid the man and hung the Bizarro sign around my neck, I opened the ring box to look at my kryptonite ring. To my surprise, the ring box was indeed made of actual lead, and had a tiny red bed inside for the green ring to sit on. I was about to ask the seller what the ring was actually made of when I suddenly felt a wave a nausea hit me like a truck. As I stumbled trying to get my footing the last words I heard from the man were, “Enjoy Equestria my haggling friend.”

And then I fell into the Darkness.

Author's Note

I already have a few chapters written but plan on editing them and double checking the grammar before posting. Just as a warning, I'm not entirely sure that I'll continue this story in the future. If that does come to pass then I might be willing to pass on the story to someone else to continue if they have any ideas. I'd rater not create a story and just leave it unfinished like so many other displaced fics on here.

Edit: I've made up my mind and I plan to continue this story until I can give it a proper ending. I've decided to leave the earlier message there to show how far I've come, and to tell all the readers that they are the sole reason I continue to write. Thank you all for enjoying and supporting my work, you all inspire me.

A Bizarre World and Even More Bizarre Introductions.

BIZZARO POV

I’m not sure how long I was passed out for, it could have been hours, days, hell it could have even been weeks. But, as I slowly stirred out of unconsciousness my mind wasn’t questioning how long I had been asleep. Instead my thoughts were focused on my surroundings.

The first thing that I noticed was the sound of birds chirping and leaves being pushed by a gentle breeze from my right. The breeze wasn’t too strong, but it was enough to slightly move my cape and let it be carried by the calming wind for a brief moment. As serene and peaceful as this all was it was wrong. I shouldn’t have been outside in the grass, there was barely any grass outside the convention center. And why couldn’t I hear things like people, cars, sirens, or jerks who rolled down all their windows and blared music out of their car?

As these thoughts entered my mind I regained another one of my senses, smell, and I could smell EVERYTHING. I smelled the dew of the grass, the fresh scent of roses, dandelions, and various other plants and flora. I could also smell something unholy and rancid. To compare that ungodly stench to shit would be a great understatement and a horrible insult towards shit.

It smelled like a sack of skunks were twirled around in the air, throw in the middle of a street, and then run over by a garbage truck driven by Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

My eyes shot open as I struggled not to gag and cry over the suffocating stench.

As my eyes widened and looked around I noticed that I was no where near the convention center. Instead I appeared to be in the middle of a dense forest with large ominous black trees. I’m not a… Whatever you call plant scientists, but I was fairly certain that trees shouldn’t be tar black with hints of purple in them.

The last sense I regained, aside from taste, was touch. And with it came the feeling of my body. I felt…. Odd to say the least. It was both euphorically pleasurable and excruciatingly painful. My skin felt chalky, coarse, and rough. It had a similar feel to that elephant that I helped my little sister, Lilly, pet for her tenth birthday party. She had the biggest smile on her face when we finally got to see the horses. It was a smile only rivaled by the one she had after I graduated High school.

My blissful memories were brought to a screeching halt as I felt all the muscles in my body scream out in pain. It was a horrible discomfort, but also strangely relaxing. It was like cracking your neck early in the morning to loosen it up. It hurt for a second, but felt sooooo good. First came the searing pain from my muscles, followed by the almost orgasmic release of all my muscles. I felt incredible, like I was at the peak of human perfection.

All of this however, was nothing compared to the throbbing pain that instantly appeared in my skull after that. My skull felt like it was fighting not to crack under the immense pressure my brain was forcing on it. Meanwhile my brain was struggling to not be crushed inside the vice like grip of my skull. This was pain I never knew before. I had gotten headaches, concussions, brain damage, once I even cracked my skull open when I fell from a tree. To put it simply, this pain was incomparable to any of those injuries or pains.

I screamed in agony for god knows how long, never questioning why I didn’t pass out from not breathing in as I clutched my head and rolled around on the ground.

As the pain slowly died down I finally noticed that my screams sounded different, my voice was immensely deeper. It was gravely and raspy, like someone had drank a glass of salt and pebbles. It was oddly familiar, almost like…

“Bizarro?…” I asked myself in a voice that wasn’t mine.

I looked down at my body, everything looked normal, I still had my costume, my necklace, and my ring box was just two feet away from me. But, as I looked at myself more closely I realized that I wasn’t wearing the fake muscle suit I bought, this was all real muscle. My body had grown to a… well, a bizarre scale. It wasn’t the overly obnoxious amount of muscle that you’d see body builders show off at competitions, but it was still incredible strong. My chest was absolutely massive, and I could see the clear outline of a six pack pressed tightly against my skin tight suit. It clung to my body as if it were a second skin, which it may as well have been for all intense purposes.

I was also able to see the skin on my exposed hands. They were bone white and felt like cold hardened stone. and OH MY GOD! My fingers!

Ignoring how utterly fucked up my fingernails looked, I stared at my fingers as I was mesmerized by their immense power. My pinky finger alone looked like it could snap a dozen #2 Pencils in half with one flex, and I bet it could too.

Grinning like a little boy on Christmas morning, I clenched my fists and felt the raw power that emulated off of them. If this was a dream I never wanted to wake up. I jumped to my feet only to completely overshoot and fly into the air at unimaginable speeds laughing like a mad man.

As I soured into the clouds I came crashing back down to earth, creating a massive crater around me that blew dozens of trees away. This was one awesome dream!

And then I realized something, I knew I was dreaming. That’s something that has never happened to me before.

Whenever I would find out I was dreaming, my body would instantly wake me up, denying me the ability to create the dream world as I pleased. It was something that always pissed me off. Other people talked about how they could have lucid dreams and do amazing things like fly and be super heroes, while I was just stuck in my childhood park on a bench avoiding the scolding hot Iced Tea that flooded the park as mutant shark people circled around me… Now that I think about it that does sound pretty weird. No wonder I have to go to therapy so often.

So I was either having a really lucid dream that didn’t immediately dissipate after I realized I was dreaming or, less likely, I wasn’t dreaming. I couldn’t really pinch myself or anything. That whole “can’t feel pain in dreams” is total bullshit. Remember how I mentioned the scolding hot Iced Tea lake? How would I have known it was scolding hot unless I dipped my leg in and felt it. I also couldn’t just piss myself, no way was I ruining either my bed or the hospital bed that must have been prepared for me after the convention. Maybe I was just having a really bad trip on the drugs the doctors were pumping in my body. They could have easily meant to give me morpheme but accidentally grabbed some of the heavier stuff instead. It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing.

It would certainly explain how weird and vivid this world looked if I was stoned out of my mind.

Deciding to not look a gift horse in the mouth and just enjoy this weird drug trip, I picked up my lead ring box, chose a random direction, and started walking. Why didn’t I fly? Because it’s been far too long since I went on a nature hike, and I planned on enjoying myself how I saw fit.

I was worried I would just have to carry the box in my hand the entire time, but it turns out my hallucination thought ahead of me as it magnetically stuck to the yellow sash on my red tights.

Looking at the strange hallucination forest was a surreal experience for me. All of the trees had a creepy yet beautiful vibe to it.

Jeez, what is it with this hallucination and contradictions? First I’m in a mix of agony and bliss, and now I’m in a creepy but serene forest.

I thought to myself, as I continued walking in my randomly chosen direction. Suddenly, I heard a noise coming from my right, it sounded like a woman grumbling about something.

“Stupid wheels… Never trust wheels again….” The mysterious voice said. Even though it wasn’t close enough to hear it, it felt as if the mysterious person was talking right next to my ear.

Well, I might as well follow the white rabbit down the rabbit hole to find Wonderland.

I made my way to the mysterious voice, it’s voice growing louder but simultaneously becoming more unrecognizable. The mysterious voice was no longer using intelligible words, but instead turned into a series of grunts and angry yells.

Once I finally made it through the thick line of trees I saw a decently sized yellow wagon on three large wheels. The roof of the wagon appeared to be made of red shingles which was a little lighter the the red on my costume. There was also a pole at the front of the wagon that had a purple flag hanging off of it. On the flag was what looked like a slightly deformed blue crescent moon, with a star wand laying on top of the moon. I didn’t realize it yet, but that symbol looked awfully familiar. It was only when the exasperated… woman, stepped out from the other side of the wagon carrying a replacement wheel that I realized who I was looking at.

Standing at about a dozen feet away from me was a blue skinned woman with long flowing white hair. She wore a long sleeve hoodie that was nearly an identical shade of blue to my costume. She also had on a purple skirt that had the same symbol that was on the flag hanging outside her wagon. And finally, the details that were the most striking were the blue horn that jutted out of her head and the white tail that poked out from the top of her skirt. I couldn’t believe it, even in hallucination land Equestria Girls had wormed it’s was into my thoughts. But why?

As I stepped forward my foot snapped a twig underneath me. Trixie turned around with her horn already lit up, most likely expecting something akin to a Timberwolf to be there and not me.

“What the? Who are you, what do you want!” Trixie demanded.

Well, I might as well see where a conversation with a hallucination will take me.

Hello, don’t worry, I'm not here to fight you.

“Goodbye, Bizarro am clobber you!” I said with a smile and a cheerful tone……..

..................

WHAT?!

The next moment I felt something hit my chest and send me flying into one of the trees behind me. A resounding crack echoed throughout the forest as the thick piece of wood broke from my trajectory.

After bouncing off of the broken tree and hitting the ground I looked up groggily. And then a new-found sensation of unbelievable pain washed over me.

Ouch… So, remember when I said I didn’t believe that whole, “can’t feel pain in a dream” opinion I had. Well, I would like to revise my earlier opinion and statement by saying that people can’t feel pain this IMMENSE in dreams. God... Ok, this pain is too real to just be a trick of the brain.

Trixie walked up to me, her horn still glowing. I raised up my hands hoping to calm down the… Mare, and show her that I wasn’t hostile.

Please, wait there’s a misunderstanding.

“Keep coming. You am know best.” FUCK! “YIPPIE!”

I jumped away from another magical blast before it hit me. Damnit why was I saying such stupid shit!?

“How did you avoid Trixie’s spell!?” She yelled, as I dodged another one in the blink of an eye.

I don't know!

"Me know!"

I dodged another blast of magic as it came flying at me. Damnit, why am I saying the…. exact…. oh damnit.

I stopped running and held up both of my hands. “STOP! NO FIGHT!”

Surprisingly, she actually listened. “Oh, had enough have you? What are you, some type of bandit?”

I wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of you when I first saw you, you understand this situation perfectly. I have an amazing grasp of the english language.

I thought to myself, but what came out instead was, “Me no want to fight, you no know! Words hard for Bizarro.”

“Then why did you threaten to attack Trixie?” She hissed.

“Words bad. Mouth say not what brain want. Me want say good, it say bad. Me think right, it say other right.” I tried to explain. Jesus, thinking in opposites is difficult.

“And why should Trixie believe you?”

“Me can’t make you believe Bizarro, but me am sorry for scaring you. Let me make up.” I offered, pointing to her clearly broken wagon wheel.

“Oh. You’ll fix my wagon wheel?” She snickered after that. “As if a stallion can do it. Leave it to the mares, hun.” She said as she went back to her wagon and fruitlessly tried to lift it with her arms.

Well, screw you too you apparently sexist ass.

I was half tempted to leave her there and figure her own shit out. But I still felt bad about scaring her like that. And now that I realize this isn’t a hallucination, thank you indescribable pain, which means I was away from home and away from civilization.

Walking up to her wagon I effortlessly lifted it up with one hand as she stared at me in awe. “Mind take off wheel and put on new wheel?” I asked her.

As her horn lit up the old broken wheel was quickly taken off of its axis and replaced it with a new wheel that was slightly darker than any of the other wheels on the wagon. Putting it down slowly I dusted off my hands and started walking away.

“Be safe!” I yelled to her, only to feel a slight tugging on my cape. Turning around, I noticed the bottom of my cape was coated in a magical blue aura that was emanating from the tip of Trixie’s horn.

“Wait, that’s it? You threaten Trixie and then you fix her wagon? Why?”

“Like Bizarro say, me am bad at words.” I told her as I held my hand to my chest. “Me want to say no be scared but instead me told you be scared.”

She had a thoughtful expression on her face as she considered my explanation. “hmmm. So then you were bewitched then? Or perhaps cursed?”

“Cursed.” I told her, I mean, I technically was cursed. What else would anyone call this situation?

“I see. Then Trixie apologizes for thinking that you were a bandit.” She said as she released my cape from her magical grasp.

I turned around to fully greet her as she walked towards me. As she did so, I noticed that even with three-inch purple high heel shoes, Trixie only came up to my chest.

“So, what will you do now?” She asked, clear interest prevalent in her voice.

“Bizarro am need to get home, but me no know way out forest.”

“Hmm….” Trixie tapped her index finger on her chin for a while, mauling her thoughts over. “Well Trixie can’t just let a stallion roam around the Everfree Forest alone. Alright, Trixie will assist you on the condition that you help her with her next performance, it can also be your repayment for startling Trixie with your words. Trixie could use an assistant, especially one that would be good eye candy for the Mares in the audience.”

Screw you, I’m not just some slab of meat. “Me am in agree.”

“Great! You look like a fairly strong earth Stallion. Your first task will be to pull Trixie’s wagon. Trixie has been pulling it non-stop for several days now, and Trixie could use a break.”

“Ok.” I grabbed the harness off of the ground and readjusted the straps for my massive chest. Oh man I am never going to get over that.

Trixie went through the door in the back of the wagon and popper her head out of a fairly large window at the front of it. “Onward stallion! MUSH!”

I turned around and glared at her which caused her to smile sheepishly. “Um, that is to say, Trixie is ready when you are mr…”

Did… Did she really not know my name? I was talking about myself in the third person ever since I met her. How did she not know it? Well, at least I can give her my real name. I can explain why I called myself Bizarro later.

Hi, I’m Michael Goodman.

“Goodbye. Me name am Bizarro.” ….God Damnit.

“Bizarro? Hmmm, that's a rather… strange name. Well, the Great and Polite Trixie will introduce herself as well!” She boasted.

She leaned out of the window and held her hand out. “Hi, I’m Trixie, it’s nice to meet you.” She said politely. If it wasn’t for her full 180 from boastful to normal I probably would have made a comment about how unnecessary introductions were. Instead, I just smiled and shook her offered hand.

“Nice to meet Tri… Tix… Triex…” What the hell? I know her name, it’s Trixie, so why can’t I say it?

“Trix… Tirex…Um… Name hard for Bizarro to say. Tick mind if I call her Trick?” I asked. She thought about it for a second before she shrugged.

“Very well, so long as you do not address Trixie that way on stage. It could hurt Trixie’s brand if ponies started associating her name with trickery.”

I nodded and started walking walking in the direction Trixie was going before our… first encounter. I have to admit this was all a pretty surreal experience, no more than two minutes ago she was ready to, somewhat justifiably, attack me. And now we were acting all buddy buddy like it never happened? This was all too weird…

Luckily the walk was far less weird than our unusual introductions. For the first few minutes it was pretty silent as we both enjoyed the scenery passing us by. It reminded me of the hikes I used to go on with my Great Grandma near her farm. She might have been up there in age, but she could give Granny Smith a run for her money when it came to being active. I remember that while we were walking down the path Great Grandma brought along her two dogs, Susan and Blackey. Guess which one I cleverly named at the ripe old age of ten.

Blackey was a good dog, but really misunderstood. After he bit Great Gram’s hand he was never let back inside the house and was always chained up to one of the hundreds of cars, vans, and rusted trucks my Great uncle bought and left at the farm. He basically turned the place into a parking lot graveyard.

I remember my cousin Rob and I were terrified of Blackey when we were younger. To be fair, he was a giant black dog, probably part German Shepherd, with missing patches of fur on his back, tail, and legs, along with a heavy chain connected to his collar, and the loudest bark you’ve ever heard. I remember one day my Great Gram asked me if I could get some eggs from the chicken coop near the back of the farm. Here’s another guessing game, it’s called, “Guess which dog was chained up near the only path to the chicken coop.” If you guessed Blackey, then congratulations, go grab a cookie and come back when you’re done.

I was honestly surprised when he didn’t bother me as I walked past him. I half expected him to growl or bark at me, but instead he looked at me with wide eyes, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he panted and wagged his disheveled tale. It was so strange to see this terrifying creature look so happy. The next day I did something potentially stupid and dangerous, I pet the dog that my mom told me to never go near.

It actually turned out that Blackey was just a giant ball of love and energy, all he really wanted was a little attention, and I was more than willing to give it to him. And, after a good amount of pleading, begging, and coxing, I was able to get my cousin Rob to see it too. Lilly was a lot easier to convince that Blackey was a good dog when she was old enough to come to the farm with us. She promptly gave him the title of bestest boy after hugging him vehemently. A title he definitely deserved. Lilly loved Blackey, but my parents still had their reservations about the dog so she didn’t get to see him too often.

Whenever I would go to my Great Grandma’s farm after that I would always make sure to visit Blackey as soon as I arrived. I would feed him canned dog food, pet him, and on the more rare occasions when he wasn’t begging for attention or playing with one of his toys, I would just sit near him as he was eating or sleeping. You should have seen him when he was let off of his leash for the hike, he was jumping around, running, and maybe even doing a little prancing as he just ran around and looked at everything like he was a new born puppy. It was one of the most heartwarming things I ever saw.

Which made it all the worse when he died. It was a sad day when I learned he passed away. He died of old age, but no one was really sure how old he was. For his last few weeks of life he was let back in the house to be with his family. Well, almost all of his family. I didn’t learn about any of that until a week later when I went to the farm and noticed he wasn’t there on his leash next to the old white van that he used to sleep in when he didn’t want to use his Doggie house. I cried all night when I found out my best friend had died.

I was brought out of my bitter sweet trip down memory road when Trixie asked me something. “Hm? What Trick say?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Typical stallion. I asked where you were from. You’re obviously an earth pony, and you’re practically as tall as Princess Celestia, but your clothes are really weird. It doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before. Well, aside from Power Ponies Comics.”

I had to think about that for a moment. Should I tell her I’m from another planet? Would she believe me? The answer to both of those was a resounding no. I just met this lad-er-Mare, no need to scare her off yet. “Me from far away. From place Trick no know about.”

“Try Trixie. Trixie has been to Saddle Arabia and back.”

“Ever hear of Pencil-Vania?”

“Um… no?”

“What bout United Estates of America?”

“Nnnooo.” Trixie said hesitantly.

“Then Trick no been there.” I told her. She could have been all over the globe and she wouldn’t have been able to get to it. The only ones who might are… “Only ponies that can help Bizarro am princesses… Me think?…” I told her, recalling some basic information from My Little Pony. While I wasn't an avid fan of that series, I did know some things, like how the Princesses were the most powerful, the main character was called Twilight, and she had a magic crown that Sunset Shimmer tried to steal. Other than that, all my information came from Equestria Girls.

“Why is that?” Trixie asked.

“Like Bizarro say, me am from far far away.”

“Well, how did you end up in the Everfree then?”

I thought that as long as I didn’t mention the fact I’m from another planet it should be safe to tell her. “Bizarro was at big party when me notice seller guy in corner of party. Me walk up to seller guy and buy nice necklace and shiny ring. After that, Bizarro sleep and wake up here.”

If Trixie was drinking water, she probably would have spat it out. “You were drugged?!” She asked.

I thought about that. Technically I wasn’t drugged, but I might as well have been. “Close. More magic than drug.” I told her.

“What, like a sleep spell?! A spell like that can cause severe head trauma to the pony it was cast on! No wonder you were saying the opposite of what you wanted! Sleep magic is a very dangerous magic that is only practiced by the most skilled and professional unicorns in Equestria, if anypony unskilled in sleep magic tries to use it, the pony they used it on could die!” She exclaimed as she threw her hands up to the sky. “Is there anything else wrong with you besides your voice?” She asked slowly, as if I was a kicked kitten.

“Me did have hurty head earlier, but Bizarro am fine now.” I reassured her. Damn, I didn’t want to give her a panic attack. “So now Trick know why Bizarro need princess help.”

She nodded her head. “Trixie can certainly see why. If such a spell was used then it must be reported to the princesses. You know, The Great and Generous Trixie was planing on going to Las Pegasus after this next performance, but Trixie can change her plans and go to Canterlot instead. You can come with Trixie and be her assistant there before you see the princesses.” Trixie offered.

She would actually do that for me? I didn’t know much about My Little Pony, almost all of my information came from watching Equestria Girls with Lily, but I did know that Trixie was NOT supposed to be this nice. I mean, I’m a complete stranger that shouted that I was going to attack her, and yet she’d change her plans to help me? It was… Wow, I don’t think anyone’s done something like that for me.

“Thank Trick. You am very kind.” I told her, as I sniffed through one nostril.

“Are you ok?” She asked.

“Mhm." I nodded. "Just allergics. Me am fine.” I replied. Damn it, don’t cry because the cartoon character is being nice to you. You’re a man damnit!

The rest of the trip remained silent as we made our way towards Ponyville.

Author's Note

Bizarro Alicorn by Hayley556 on Deviantart. Support the artist.
https://www.deviantart.com/hayley566/art/Ponified-Bizarro-and-pup-pup-734684277

Clash of Rainbow Dash and Bizarro the Brash.

RAINBOW DASH POV

What is he up to?…

I stared at the wagon that weird stallion went into after walking through Ponyville with it earlier today. I don’t know why, but I didn’t trust this guy. He’s a stallion sure, so he shouldn’t be a real problem or anything, even if he’s as big as Celestia, but something about him just didn’t seem right.

As I was looking at the wagon a small crowd formed nearby and Twilight and Spike finally came up. Twilight was wearing her usual sky-blue shirt, her purple skirt that had her cutie mark on the side that matched her purple leg warmers. While Spike was wearing his usual dark green cargo shorts and purple hoodie.

“Hey girls, is the new stallion in that wagon?” Twilight asked.

“I believe so Darling, though Rainbow Dash is the only one who got a good look at him.” Rarity told her.

“Yeah, he’s in there alright. He’s been in there for about ten minutes.” I said, not taking my eyes off of the yellow and red wagon.

“Really, what’s he like?” Twilight asked.

“About as tall as Celestia, white skin, blue costume with a red cape.” I replied mechanically. “He also has his Cutie mark on the center of his chest and a big rock hanging by some rope around his neck, I’m not sure what it is though.”

Applejack whistled. “Tall as Celestia? Hot dang, he must be bigger than Big Mac.” Applejack said with a tip of her stetson.

“Yeah, I think he’s an earth stallion. I know I didn’t see a horn on his head, but I couldn’t see his back because of that cape.”

Applejack had an unmistakable hungry twinkle in her eyes. “I see. Ya think he’s single? Or at the least has a small herd?”

“I didn’t see anypony else with him. But I’m warning you AJ, something about this guy seems off.” I warned her.

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“He was just acting kinda odd. He dressed really weird, didn’t talk to anypony, and now he just parks his wagon in the middle of the road.”

“Oh! Maybe that’s his house and he’s moving into Ponyville! Oh colt, now I can throw a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party!’ ” Pinkie Pie added.

“I hope he’s nice…” Fluttershy added, as she twirled her pink mane.

“Oh don’t worry Fluttershy, I’m sure he’s really nice.” Twilight reassured her.

Before I could throw my two bits into the conversation an obnoxious Mare’s voice shouted from inside the wagon.

“COME ONE. COME ALL. AND WITNESS THE AMAZING MAGIC OF THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL. TRRRIIXIE!” The mysterious mare boasted, as the wagon started to unfold into a stage, and in a flash or bright light a blue mare with blue and white hair wearing a frilly dark purple dress, black skin-tight leggings, purple colored open toed shoes, and a matching cape and wizard hat that was decorated in stars appeared.

“And her lovely assistant, BIZARRO!” She shouted, as a puff of smoke exploded in front of the curtain.

The white skinned stallion with a short black mane that I saw earlier walked out from behind the curtain. He was wearing a skin-tight blue suit that clung to his toned muscles and was slightly ripped at the wrists. He also wore his red underwear on the outside of his costume and hung a yellow sash around the top of it. His red boots and cape also matched his underwear, or I guess outerwear in this case? And then there was his weird cutie mark. It looked like a red snake inside of what looked like a yellow diamond surrounded by a red boarder. The weirdest part of his costume was the oval stone slab hung around his neck and covered most of the cutie mark on his chest. The words, “BIZARRO #1” were crudely carved into the stone with the second R being backwards. I gotta say, Rarity’s reaction was what I expected out of the mare.

BIZARRO POV

Well, here goes nothing.

As I stepped out from behind the curtain and walked up next to Trixie I looked out at the crowd. Sure enough, I saw six of the “Main 7” in their Equestria Girls forms, only with normal ears, tails, and either wings or horns. Thank God they had normal ears, I can’t imagine how hard that would be to explain. If anyone asked about my lack of a tail I could just say I cut it off. But if they had pony ears, I would have been screwed before I stepped foot out of that forest.

Now that I think about it, when they, “Pony-Up” in the show do they lose their human ears or do they have two sets of ears? Whatever, questions for later.

Their clothing was similar to the first movie, albeit with shoes that didn’t look like bellbottom pants were making an immediate comeback. And, like everypony else, God it’s gonna be weird getting used to saying that, they stood up to about the height of my chest.

I was actually pretty surprised to see Spike in the front row as a kid wearing cargo shorts, green sandals, and a purple hoodie. I expected him to be a talking dog like he was in the show.

Spike, instead of having smooth purple skin like everypony else, had purple scales that covered most of his body, with regular purple skin in areas such as his face and palms. He had two green fins for ears that were a lighter shade of green then his hair. Huh, I wonder…

Adjusting myself ever so slightly I looked at Spike’s tail, and sure enough it had a solid single strip of green fur instead of scales that ran down the length of his tail.

My thoughts about dragon anatomy were interrupted as Rarity screamed out, “GOOD HEAVENS, WHO DRESSED THIS POOR STALLION!? HE NEEDS A PROPER MAKEOVER STAT!”

I rolled my eyes at Rarity's theatrics, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rainbow Dash as Trixie continued boasting.

“Watch in awe as The Great and Powerful Trixie preforms the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!” She exclaimed as about a dozen fireworks went off around us. I’ll admit, I was impressed by the pyrotechnics.

I was able to test out my super hearing and heard Rarity and the others talking. It was basically, “Blah, blah, she’s a show off, blah blah.” and Applejack basically said, “blah blah, you shouldn’t brag about your talents, blah.” I’m sorry, but do ponies just not know that’s the job of a showmare. If you aren’t boasting your own feats then you’re doing something wrong. Deciding to give Trixie a hand I stepped up.

“Look at cool things never am see before! Be impress by super magics never saw!” I said as Trixie summoned a bouquet of flowers out of literal thin air. To my surprise, nopony even batted an eye.

SERIOUSLY?! This is Zatana and Houdini levels of magic that would have killed back on Earth.

Of course, Rainbow Dash had to be the one to shout, “Magic-Smagic! BOO!”

Trixie looked like she was about to say something but I cut her off.

“She better at magic than you am.~” I told Rainbow Dash as I walked over to Trixie’s prop box.

Just like we practiced I would bring out the three metal interlocked rings first, then the newspaper and milk pitcher, and finally roll out the box and saw so Trixie could be “cut” in half. Originally, she wanted me to do it but my shoulders were too broad to fit. If we still had time then she wanted to test out her bunny in a hat trick. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a bunny so we had to end up using a squirrel I caught. Little bastard kept throwing nuts at me in the forest.

I walked back up to Trixie with a smug smile as I saw Rainbow Dash glaring at me.

“Ahem. Well if we can get along with Trixie’s performance. Bizarro, my lovely assistant, would you kindly demonstrate to the audience that the three titanium rings in your hands are really connected together?” Trixie asked me.

RAINBOW DASH POV

BUCK THIS STALLION! He thinks he can just call me out like that and get away with it?! Oh, if he does then he’s got another thing coming!

“Ahem. Well if we can get along with Trixie’s performance. Bizarro, my lovely assistant, would you kindly demonstrate to the audience that the three titanium rings in your hands are really connected together?” Trixie asked the stallion. Alright, fine, let’s see your dumb magic trick.

As “Bizarro” pulled on the outer two rings he ended up snapping the center ring in half. A lot of the ponies went slack jawed. Big whoop, like that was ACTUALLY Titanium.

Bizarro smiled sheepishly. “Oopsy, me can fix that!”

Bizarro then picked up the two halves of the ring, turned his back to the crowd, and went behind the curtain. I could have sworn I smelt something burning for a few moments.

He came back out with the three rings interlocked, and the middle one was pretty mangled and looked like it was slightly glowing red. “Me fix it! Ready Trick—er, Bizarro mean Great and Strong Trii… tri…”

“Yes, yes, thank you! Um, let’s move onto the next illusion! Um, Bizarro, fetch the milk and newspaper.” She told him, as he walked back to the box and brought out a rolled-up newspaper and jug of milk.

“Oh big deal! SHE’S JUST GONNA USE HER UNICORN MAGIC TO MAKE IT DISAPPEAR!” I shouted out, both of them looked pretty pissed before Bizarro smiled.

“Oh? Want bet?” He asked.

“Bizarro, what are you doing?” Trixie tried to ask Bizarro in a hushed voice as she nervously looked between me and him.

“Bizarro am prove Trick no use unicorn magic. It something Trick can do because Trick am Great and Strong. Everypony, look at Trick horn while Bizarro do magic Trick taught him.” Bizarro said as he crossed his arms and looked at me with a shit eating grin.

Him? He’ll do magic? Alright fine, let’s see him squirm his way out of this.

Half of the crowd was focused on Trixie while I and the girls kept our eyes on Bizarro. He held the newspaper up to show that it was an ordinary newspaper before he rolled it up into a cone and brought it closer to his face, actually blocking his view of the audience as he started to pour the pitcher of milk into it. When he finally finished the pitcher, he put it down and held the rolled-up newspaper like a torch before turning it over and…

Letting a perfectly frozen cone of rock-solid milk hit the stage?! I looked around at everypony, waiting for somepony to call out and say they saw Trixie’s horn light up.

“HEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LET TRIXIE DO MAGIC!” I shouted. He just grinned at me while he spoke.

“Trick not do no-thing but teach Bizarro. Bizarro didn’t need any help from Trick.” He said, I looked over at Applejack and she leaned over closer to me.

“This fella’s weird, Dash. It’s like everything he says is a lie, but the intention behind it’s the truth. It just plum don’t make sense. Even when he says his name it’s like he’s sometimes lying about it, but other times he’s tellin’ the truth about it.”

“So he’s lying about Trixie helping him?’ I asked, Applejack shook her head to tell me no.

“Nah. He’s lyin’ about Trixie teachin’ ‘im, but not about the second part.” Applejack whispered to me.

“AROUND CLAP FOR TRICK!” Bizarro shouted, as he gestured both hands towards the mare on stage. For the most part, Trixie looked completely shell shocked.

“NEXT, WATCH TRICK NO USE UNICORN MAGIC TO MAKE BIZARRO FLY!” He shouted before laying himself on the stage. Trixie kneeled down next to him with a worried expression and whispered something into his ear before he whispered something back.

“A-alright! B-BEHOLD AS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE MAKES BIZARRO FLOAT WITHOUT LEVITATION!” She said, before pulling a wand out of her hat and looking down at Bizarro nervously.

“Um… L-lemgardi Leviosa?” She said.

Suddenly Bizarro started to float up… and up, and up! Everyone in the crowd gasped, even Trixie looked stunned. I think the only one not freaking out was Bizarro as just had his eyes closed with a dopey grin on his face. He stayed in the air floating on his back for a good twenty seconds before he slowly floated back down to the stage. He jumped to his feet and held his arms out. “TADA!” He shouted, the crowd roared in applause.

Bizarro then grabbed Trixie and held sat her on his shoulder. She was visibly blushing and looked like she was about to protest before Bizarro said, “Who am Great and Strong!?”

“TRIXIE! TRIXIE!” Snips and Snails shouted simultaneously, before they were suddenly joined in by a chorus of ponies shouting Trixie’s name.

“For next trick, watch Trick make Bizarro lighter than am feather heavy!”

Bizarro leaned down to Trixie’s ear before she looked at him with a bewildered expression.

“Um, Y-yes! Trixie will lift this b-big heavy Stallion, l-l-like he was a feather!” Trixie pointed her wand at Bizarro and shouted, “Spellius Convenious!”

It didn’t really look like anything happened, no noise, no explosions, no lights, nothing. Bizarro then held his hand out for Trixie to grab, which she did, as she begun to lift Bizarro off of the ground with one hand while he was as stiff as a plank. Even more cheers roared from the audience after that. I had enough of this.

“OH COME ON! IT’S ALL JUST A BUNCH OF TRICKS! I BET TRIXIE IS SECRETLY USING HER UNICORN MAGIC!” I shouted out, sowing the seeds of doubt in the crowd. Try escaping this one Mr. Bozo and Great and Powerful Showoff.

I actually leaned back a bit when Bizarro glared at me before he jumped off of the stage. “Trick, not using unicorn magic! Trick am doing this on her own!”

“Oh yeah, sure she is! I bet you’re not even that heavy! Heck, you’re probably just wearing a muscle suit or something, and you’re actually just a scrawny wimp!” I shouted back at him.

Bizarro let out a huff as he bent down to the base of the make shift stage and lifted it, the cart, Trixie, and all her props over his head. With his back still towards us, he looked over his shoulder at me. “Am proof enough for you?”

“Sam hill! Look at that! Ain’t no stallion ever lifted somethin’ like that!” Applejack said.

Bizarro then set the stage back down before hoping back up and whispering to Trixie. She looked a little concerned at first, but nodded her head anyway. Then Bizarro pointed a finger at me.

“Me make bet! Bizarro win, you say Trick am Great and Strong. You win, Bizarro and Trick leave.” He said.

“Oh, you’re on!” I shouted. “Anytime, anyplace, anything. Name the game and I’ll kick your flank at it.”

He turned around and lifted half of a box off of a set of wheels. “Me am sorry Trick, me need cutting box.” He said before walking a bit away from the stage and putting the box on the ground. He then sat down cross legged and put his elbow on the table with his hand outstretched. OH HE DID NOT JUST CHALLENGE ME TO AN ARM WRESTLE!

“You’re on!” I shouted, as I flew over to the table and took my place. half of the crowd and the rest of the girls came over to watch us while Trixie kept going on with her show.

I grabbed his hand as I took my place and… oh wow… His hand is actually really firm. And his smug smile in this lighting is really… wow~.

HEY! Focus Brain! You aren’t gonna go easy on him just because he’s a stallion! Just gotta make this quick so he and Trixie can scram.

“Bizarro are ready when you am.” He said, still keeping that cocky smile plastered on his face. The crowd moved to either side of us to get a good look of both of our faces. Good, now they’ll be able to see this stallion cry.

Oh… Wow, that actually sounded kinda screwed up. Meh. That’s the Therapist’s problem to worry about. That’s what I pay her for after all.

“On three. Ready?” I asked, he nodded his head. “One… THREE!” I put all my strength into my arm to take Mr. Bozo down in an instant, only for his arm to not even move!

“Oh, we start?” He asked before he slowly applied pressure on my arm and moved it back at a snail’s pace. There was an audible gasp that washed over the crowd. I fought with all my strength, eventually saying “Buck it” and using both hands, but he just kept going! Soon my right hand delicately touched the table and he let go.

“Best two of three?” He asked with a tooth smile. It was only now that I noticed his yellow and crooked teeth. Oh Celestia he looks like he eats rocks and… wow his Canines are prominent, even more so than a Pegasus. What is this guy’s diet?

“Oh, we’re going Best out of 50 if it means I can take you down!” I said as I got back into position. Ain’t no way I’m walking away from a challenge.

Author's Note

Next time...

Bizarre Revelations.

APPLEJACK POV

Aaaand. That's fifty wins in a row fer that Bizarre fella. Honestly, I'm mighty shocked. Halfway thru at about round 30ish, Bizarre just let his arm hover about six inches offa his side before he would retaliate and start pushin' RD back.

Rainbow thought he was cheatin' somehow, but when I asked 'im ifin he were, he was honest and said he wadn't cheatin'! By golly, if that Trixie gal can get a bearded dragon in a dress and two headed pony I'd say she'd be on 'er way to startin' a circus show.

Trixie seemed a lil miffed that Bizarre was accidentally hoggin' the spotlight as she was talkin' about how she beat up an Ursa Major or somethin’. Tho she didn’t seem ta mind too much that everypony was watchin’ Bizarre. I mean, it’s not everyday a stallion can arm wrestle a mare to a standstill, let alone win.

I’m not sure where Trixie found this stallion, but I’d give my tail ta get one like ‘im. Speaking o’ Trixie, everypony pretty much ignored her, 'cept fer Spike, Snips and Snails along with a few adults in the crowd. Snips and Snails were definitely the most attentive listeners. Seems that they had a lil crush on that Trixie mare. Spike was also volunteerin’ whenever he could to be part of the act, though I’m not sure why. I hoped the little fella was havin’ fun. And speaking of fun.

I looked back at the little table box as Rainbow Dash FINALLY called a quits, by which I mean she passed out like my Great Great Aunt Hard Cider on her Birthday after goin' to the Opera... also drinkin' forty kegs o’ cider to ferget her age. That also helped too.

The crowd was already startin’ ta die down when they got ta round forty, and everyone else dispersed when Dash took the train to sleepy time junction. I picked up Rainbow and strung her along mah back, her two arms outstretched over mah shoulders and legs in mah arms. I looked over to Bizarre ta congratulate him.

"Congrats Bizarre. Not many ponies can keep up with RD like that. I should know, I tried and still only got tied in wins with 'er. Say, we could always use some help on the farm, and unlike most places we don't discriminate. So long as yer a hard worker we don't care if yer a mare, stallion, young, old, pegasus, unicorn, so on an' so on. So, what da ya say?" I asked as I held out mah hand to 'im.

Bizarre smiled at me. Gotta say, the teeth kinda creeped me out, but it was still better than Granny Smith’s dentures.

”Bizarro am happy for consid... consida... for trying help Bizarro. But me need to find way home to... to family.” He said as he looked at that stone slab hung round his neck.

“Trixie say her show am going to place called 'Camelot'. Ponies there help Bizarro find way home. But, me am thankful for words." He said as he shook mah hand. Colt's gotta grip I'll tell ya what.

Honestly, I was somewhat disappointed, but I get family. I'd sell all the apples on mah farm ta be with my family. "I understand ya partner. Hope ya find yer family soon. I'm gonna take RD over to Sugarcube corner. She probably needs the sugar after what ya'll did to 'er."

He nodded as I walked off with RD.

“Did I… Did I win?” RD asked as she was startin’ ta wake up.

“Sure ya did, Dash, now get some shuteye. I’ll wake ya when we get to Sugercube Corner.”

“Thanks AJ… I am the best….” She said as she passed out again.

Whowee. I gotsta say that I wouldn’t mind wrastlein with ‘im some time. I bet he’s got good hips for apple bucking. Both for bucking apples, and bucnkin’ this apple.~

BIZARRO POV

I watched as Applejack carried Rainbow Dash away on her back. I thought that this experience had definitely knocked Rainbow down a few pegs and hurt her massive ego. I smiled at the idea of how pissed off she'd be when she woke up. With a warm smile on my face and a pep in my step, I made my way over to Trixie.

"So, good show Trick?" I asked Trixie as she finished folding up her stage and shoving into her wagon. She seemed to be struggling a bit, so I used some of my super strength to push it in for her.

"Yes, it was a wonderful show! Trixie's adoring audience all loved you!” Trixie exclaimed, beaming with joy.

“No me, We. Bizarro couldn’t do without Trick.” I said, patting her on the back.

“Hey you two!” Pinkie Pie bounced to us, the arch of her jump allowing her to be eye level with me for a few seconds as she hopped around us. “You did awesome out there! Are you guys available for parties?” Pinkie Pie asked. I looked over to Trixie to see what she would say.

“But of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie is available for Foal parties and other events.”

Pinkie Pie leaned over to Trixie, putting an arm around her shoulders and trying to subtly whisper to her. Unfortunately for her, she decided to whisper next to the one guy who has super hearing, so I heard every word.

“So, is your lovely assistant available for more… ‘adult’ parties. He just needs the underwear.~” Pinkie Pie said.

Okaaaay, what the hell? I thought this was supposed to be a kids show!

Trixie visibly blushed at Pinkie Pie's question. “U-um Trixie will only have Bizarro as her assistant until Canterlot. After that we are departing so Bizarro may go home to… Bizarro, what did you call it?”

“Pencil-Vania.” I said.

“Yes, that… “ She said, somewhat dejectedly. “But I’m grateful that you asked.” Trixie added on, as she slowly removed Pinkie Pie’s arm from her shoulder. I didn’t blame her after hearing about Pinkie Pie’s other types of parties.

“Okie-Doki Loki! Well I’d still like to invite you both to your Ponyville Party, I throw a party for everyone who comes to town!” She said, before taking a pencil and a notepad out of her pink mane. “By the way what’s your favorite color, what’s your favorite desert, when’s your birthday, and do you like me?” She asked at mach speed. Thank God for super hearing, I probably would have missed all of that.

“Bizarro favorite color am blue, me like chocolate, born day is April third, me am nineteen, and Bizarro think we can be friends!” I told her as she was jotting down everything I wrote. Meanwhile, Trixie just looked at me slack jawed.

“You’re nineteen?” She asked.

I mean… Technically? How old is Bizarro? Like twenty-five or something? Then again he was born that age, so would he actually be three or something?

“When Bizarro was home, yes. Me was just finished first year of college.” I told her, causing her jaw dropped to the ground.

“YOU WENT TO COLLEGE!?” She screamed. I should have felt insulted, but my limited vocabulary did make me seem… less intelligent than the average stallion.

“Yes. Bizarro am study to find good ca… car… good job in life.”

Truth be told I had no idea what I wanted to do. Nothing held my interest for too long, and nothing that I liked could really be turned into a career path for me. If all else failed and I came up with squat, I’d try to see if I could get a job as a paralegal. I had some experience since I had a part time job working for McAbe Spears. And if that didn’t take, then I was going to get a job at the nearby coffee factory. My Grandma had been working there for most of her life by the point I left. Part of me hoped that, by the time I got home, she’d finally retire and stop working there. It’s good pay, but she had to stand all day in a loud factory that’s boiling hot after making millions of coffee beans.

Trixie decided not to push the topic of college any further, probably so her head wouldn’t implode. And the listed off the answers to Pinkie Pie’s questions, which were: Blue, Vanilla cupcakes, December fourth, twenty, and in her own words, “Trixie thinks you are a very nice, and extremely energetic mare. We look forward to your party.” She said, as Pinkie Pie nodded her head and bounced off.

This was nice.

……

And then it all sucked…

Trixie teleported both of us into her wagon a few seconds after Pinkie left. Instantly, I fell to my knees coughing like a 20 year cigarette addict.

“Are you ok?” Trixie asked, with worry clear in her voice. I coughed a few times before I shakily got back up to my feet.

“Me.... Bizarro am good. Just… very fast. Bizarro am not used to teleport.” I told her.

“Sorry about that, Trixie usually forgets to ask permission before teleporting Non-unicorns. Anyway, Trixie wanted to know, how did you do those things earlier?” She asked.

“Bizarro am… different.”

“Obviously. First it’s where you come from, PencilVille, I’ve never heard of it.”

“Pencil-Vania.” I corrected.

“Then you say only the princesses can help you get back home, and now you do all these things like float and turn milk into a popsicle. It’s still frozen! Pinkie Pie bought it so she could have a snack! Bizarro… who are you. Can you please tell me?”

Well… Shit. Guess I should try to explain who Bizarro is instead of trying to explain who I am. But I definitely wouldn’t tell her about Bizarro being evil or anything like that. Those demons and lies can pop up to attack me or bite me in the ass some other day, thank you very much.

I sat on the floor of the wagon with my legs crossed, I didn’t trust myself not to accidentally rip her hammock in half by sitting on it. Trixie sat across from me, sitting on her knees.

“Truth is Bizarro is… hard. Bizarro am opposite of Superman.”

“Super what?”

“Man, like stallion.”

“Oh. ok. Please continue.”

“Ok. So me was made when Lex take part of Superman and—“

“Um, I’m sorry, but could we just skip over the birds and the bees talk, if you don’t mind.” She said while blushing. Well, guess I’ll save the fact I’m a clone for another day.

“Well, Lex make Bizarro after Superman and Lex have big fight. Bizarro made opposite of Superman. If he do bad, me do good.” Or vice versa, well, mainly vice versa but you don’t need to know about that.

“I see, so you did’t want to be like your dad then?”

“Yes. Superman is everything Bizarro am not. Even down to deadly weakness.” I reached for my yellow sash and took the lead ring box off of it.

“Inside this box am ring. Ring hurt Superman, but make me strong. It… It long story.” I told her.

“No, no…. Trixie… I understand. My parents got divorced too.” What? “I did keep Mom’s wedding ring when she chucked it at us, but I eventually sold it for props. Hmph. Interlocking Titanium rings are expensive, ya know.” She ended with a smile.

“That real Titanium?” I asked as I stifled a laugh.

“You know what they say, ‘Go big or go home.’ and… and since Trixie does not have a home to go back to, Trixie always has to go big.” She said, as she sat on the floor, hugging her legs to her chest and balancing her chin on her knees.

Geez, she’s basically homeless. I wanted to ask her why she couldn’t go home, but something told me that was a really sore subject. If she wanted to tell me, then she’d do it on her own time. But for now, I needed to do something to comfort her.

I placed a hand on her shoulder as I looked her in the eyes. “Then go biggest Trick can. And then, if Trick find new home… No, when Trick find new home, be happy with life. Slow down. No need go big when you am home. Me know you can do it.” I told her.

If only my vocabulary wasn’t so fucking limited and clunky. I wanted to tell her to take a break, relax, stop running away from the past and just walk away from it instead. If you’re running you’ll get farther faster, but at the price of your health and strength. I wanted to say something more inspirational than just, “Get a new house.” But I couldn’t. I don’t even know where I would begin.

But, it seemed like my words struck an accord with her, as she wrapped her arms around me. Instinctively, I returned the gesture as I started to feel tears his my costume. “Am ok. Trick will be ok.” I said to her as she nuzzled deeper into my shoulder.

“N-nopony has ever said they believed in Trixie. Nopony has ever helped Trixie like you have. If it weren’t for you, Trixie would have been chased out of town by that heckler. Thank you Bizarro. thank you…”

“You am welcome…” I told her. we sat there for a good ten minutes before finally separating. Once we both stood up, there was a loud knock at the door. I attempted to use my X-Ray vision, only to find out it didn’t work. I was confused for a moment until I looked down at the led Ring case and saw the ring inside. Apparently Bizarro can ONLY see through Lead.

After getting over my disappointing lack of X-Ray vision, I opened to wagon door and saw two pink envelopes on the ground. One had the symbol that is usually on Trixie’s clothes, while the other had my reverse Superman symbol on it. After picking the two letters up off of the ground I closed the door and handed Trixie hers.

“You expecting mail?” I asked. Trixie shook her head.

“No. I wonder what it could be. *GASP* Do you think Trixie finally got some fan mail?!”

I smiled at her enthusiasm. “Only one way Trick am find out.” And with that, Trixie unceremoniously tore the envelope to shreds to reveal a card.

“ ‘Trixie Lulamoon and Bizarro Luthor party at Sugarcube Corner 2:30pm. Food and snacks will be provided courtesy of Ponyville’s resident Party Planner, Pinkamena Diane Pie. Attendance is not optional.’ Huh. How did she know my last name? Also, your last name is Luthor?” I shrugged. Technically Lex Luthor was Bizarro’s dad, so I guess it makes sense for that to be his last name.

Wait, how did Pinkie know that?

For some reason I felt that was a question better left unanswered. I opened my letter, expecting a similar message written on my card, only to see squiggly lines dancing around the page. I squinted, trying to will the lines to stop moving so I could read. But the more I tried, the more my head begun to scream in agony. I threw the card down and held my head in my hands.

“Bizarro!” Trixie called out, trying to keep me standing upright and not fall over.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” She asked me with clear fear and worry in her eyes.

“Head am hurt. Try read but… No can do it.” I groaned out, the splitting pain in my head slowly starting to die down.

Fan-Fucking-Tastic. I’m opposite of Superman in the worst ways. I can’t read, I can only see through lead, my english is terrible, and for some reason, despite being designed to be the opposite of Superman, I’m still weak to magic like him. And I just so happened to be sent to a world where at least one third of the population has magic.

“Really? So you could read before then?” She asked after she moved away from me.

I straightened out my back and rubbed my head with one of my hands. “Yeah, me know what words look like. Bizarro know how spell, write, and read… Or, at least Bizarro did.” I buried my face in my hands and let out a groan.

Trixie then placed her hand on my shoulder to try and reassure me. “Hey, it’ll be alright big guy. It’s probably from whatever spell that ‘Seller’ you mentioned earlier used on you. But don’t worry, I’m sure the princesses will be more then willing to help you once they hear someone illegally used sleep magic.”

I took my hands off of my face and smiled down at Trixie before I nodded. “Thank Trick.”

“Oh, don’t thank Trixie yet, we’ve still got a ways to go to get to Canterlot. It’ll take about two weeks on foot to get there. Then you can thank me. Now come on, we’ve got…” Trixie opened the window and looked at the sky. “About an hour until the party. Wow, Trixie didn’t realize how long she was performing for. Normally Trixie only preforms for an hour or two at most.” Trixie turned around and looked inside a few cupboards near the back of the wagon. “Hmmm. Almost out of hay… Trixie would like to get some supplies for the trip to Canterlot before the party. Would you mind helping her?”

I smiled, this would at least give me something to occupy my mind with while we waited. I went back to the door of the wagon and held it open for Trixie, giving a slight bow as I gestured to the outside world. “After Trick.”

She giggled at that. “My, my. Such a gentlestallion. Tell me, do you do this for all the mares you meet?” She asked, as she gave me a sly playful smile.

“Only ones who am boss.” I replied as I followed her out the door. That really got her goat.

TWILIGHT POV

Ugh… I love Rainbow Dash. Really, I do. In a strictly platonic way mind you, but I love her nevertheless.

Really, she’s one of my best friends and I’d do anything for her. Anything except use my magic to enhance her muscle mass so she could, “Kick Bozo’s flank” when she challenged him to a rematch. Thankfully, Applejack was able to distract her long enough so I could discretely teleport back to my library.

I’ve looked through three cutie mark theory books, two cutie mark philosophy books, and a book titled Rare Cutie Marks Through History. But no matter what source I use there’s absolutely nothing that looks like Bizarro’s Cutie mark. I had played with the possibility that the symbol on Bizarro’s chest wasn’t a Cutie mark but rather a family crest of some kind, like how Shining Armor wore my Cutie mark on his armor. However, if that were the case then what could his Cutie mark be? Whatever it is, it has to relate to magic in some way.

I didn’t care what Rainbow Dash said, I know for a fact Trixie didn’t use any magic when she and Bizarro were preforming. What’s incredibly odd though is that while Bizarro was having his arm wrestling match with Rainbow, Trixie was using quick and small bursts of spells during her performance to hide the fact that she was doing magic. I asked Spike do keep an eye on Trixie’s performance and try to volunteer whenever he got the chance. Whenever he did a trick with him or one of the other audience members involved, she used small amounts of magic. But I sensed absolutely no magic coming from her horn when Bizarro was on stage. So for some reason she needed Bizarro specifically in order to pull off those tricks. The only questions are why and more importantly how.

I had a few theories floating around in my head, none of which were good. My first theory was that he may be a changeling, a creature that feeds off of the love and affection of others to power their magic. I thought it would explain both how he floated and how he was able to freeze that milk. But that theory was a bust because it appears changelings can only do rudimentary spells like levitation, teleportation, and magic blasts. Freezing spells and other things like that aren’t possible for changelings. Not to mention that a changeling needs the disguise to have a horn or wings if they want to either do magic or fly.

My second theory revolved around an ancient being of chaos I learned about in some of the older books in the library. Apparently some omnipotent God of Chaos named Discord had the ability to do anything he wanted, so transformation, floating, super strength, and the ice trick would all be child splay for Discord. Not to mention Bizarro could have been an allusion to bizarre, similar to how Discord's name means chaos. But after checking in with an old colleague of mine who became a teacher in Canterlot, she assured me that, “The creepy statue covered in bird poop is still here.” So that theory was also a bust.

My last theory, and the one I was most terrified of, was that he was related to Pinkie Pie. It’s the only thing that explains his abilities! They’re both earth ponies with insane abilities that I can’t rationally explain. Heck, Pinkie Pie has broken the laws of physics and my mind more times than I sanely feel comfortable to count! If Pinkie Pie and Bizarro ever fought or worse, got into a herd together… May Celestia have mercy on us all…

“Twilight, you ok?” Spike asked me, as I stared off into space.

“Yeah Spike, I’m alright. Just thinking about that new stallion. He’s so… so…”

“Bizarre.” Spike offered with a sly smile on his face.

I pouted a bit. Yes that was a valid answer, and yes it described Bizarro perfectly, but that doesn’t mean I was happy about it. “Yes Spike, he’s a bizarre stallion named Bizarro. I just don’t understand... and I’m not sure I want to…”

“You’re thinking about the Pinkie Sense episode you had, aren’t you?”

“How could I not?! The next day she kept complaining because I, ‘Did it 12 episodes too early.’ I don’t even know what that means!” I screamed.

“Easy Twilight! Calm down. Why don’t you just ask Bizarro himself?”

“Because… Because… “ I thought about that for a second. Why don’t I just do that? And why am I not doing it right now!?

“Thanksspike,gottagoaskBizzarosomequestions.Bye!” I said before teleporting out of the Golden Oaks Library.

Once I was outside, I activated my locator spell to lock onto Trixie’s magic. I bet wherever she is Bizarro isn’t too far behind.

I followed the magic signature to the market and saw Bizarro and Trixie at Golden Harvest’s carrot stand. It was gonna be a while before I got used to Golden’s green dyed mane and tail.

It looked like Trixie was haggling for a better deal while Bizarro was carrying a few bags of apples, edible flowers, hay, bread, and a few other essential things. I was surprised at how easily Bizarro was carrying so many bags, although I really shouldn’t have been considering his feats of strength earlier.

I was about to go up and talk to him when Pinkie Pie bounced in front of me, like the living pogo stick that she is.

“There you are Twilight, come on, you’re gonna be late for the surprise party!” She said.

“Surprise party?” I asked.

“Yeah! I sent Bizarro and Trixie an invite to Sugarcube Corner for a suprise, ‘Thanks for giving us a great show/Hope you enjoyed Ponyville’ Party.”

“Um… If you invited them then how can it be a surprise?”

“Because they’re expecting a normal party, but they’ll be super surprised when it turns out their ‘normal boring party’ was actually a surprise party all along!” Pinkie Pie explained. That… that made more sense than I’m willing to admit.

“I originally wanted to throw it at night like I did for you and Spike, but that wouldn’t work with the third act and I really didn’t want anything to interrupt the party. If I throw it earlier then Bizarro and Trixie will be at her wagon when the colts come back.” Aaaand just like that Pinkie Pie once again makes no sense. Thus, all is right with the world.

“Well, come on Twilight, AJ, Dash, and Rarity are already there. Fluttershy had to go out of town for the rest of the day though, apparently theres a super dooper convenient animal emergency outside of town and she needed to get there asap.”

“How could an animal emergency be convenient?”

“For conflict Silly Lilly.”

Conflict? What does she mean by… nope, no. Just need to nod my head and pretend everything makes sense.

I looked back over at Bizarro and Trixie who seemed to be done with shopping and were heading back to their wagon. “Alright, I guess I can wait until the party to ask Bizarro some questions.”

“And Trixie right?”

Meh.

“I don’t know Pinkie. Something tells me that Bizarro is the real brains behind their operation.” For some reason Pinkie Pie was really struggling not to break out into a boisterous laughing fit after I said that.

BIZARRO POV

I sneezed as we went back towards Trixie’s wagon. Thankfully I didn’t release a super sneeze and blow away half the town.

“You okay?” Trixie asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah. Am pollen in air. Make Bizarro sneeze.” I told her. Looking down at the bags were the things I was expecting we would need to buy like lettuce, bread, tomatoes, apples, carrots, and a small amount of fish. Although the other bags confused me a bit. The flowers made sense, she probably wanted to make another bouquet of flowers for her next performance. But the four pounds of hay was something that I couldn’t understand at all.

“Hey Trick?”

“Yes Bizarro?”

“Why you buy hay?” I asked. Trixie looked at me as if I asked why the sky was blue. An obvious answer that was hard to explain.

“Becaaause it’s good?” She hesitantly stated.

“Good how?”

"Well… Trixie likes to think that naturally farm grown hay is really tasty, especially when it’s on a flower sandwich. Trixie also knows a few spells to cook Hay Fries and Hay Burgers over a camp fire, but it’s not as good as Hay Fries from an oven.” She explained. I cocked an eyebrow at that.

“Trick eat hay?”

“Yes, Trixie tried going on a diet for a while but hay is just too good. Why do you ask?”

“Bizarro not know anypony eat hay.” I told her. Yeah, they called themselves ponies, had tails, wings, horns, and pastel colored skin, but they still looked human. And I didn’t remember any of the characters from Equestria Girls eating hay. Then again they also didn’t live in a small medieval village like Ponyville, so maybe this was another version of Equestria Girls or something.

“Really? So you’ve never tried hay before? Not even Hay Fries?”

“No. Bizarro have French Fries, but those made of potatoes.”

“French? Huh, that’s a really odd way of saying Prench. Does everypony talk with a weird accent like you do back home?”

“Um… yes?” I mean, everyone says French and apparently there’s a version of France here so maybe it’s like potato or potatoe.

“Funny. Pencilville seems like an interesting place. Trixie would like to see it some day.”

“Pencil-Vania. And me am sure that Bizarro’s sister would like Trick very much.” I smiled at the thought of Lilly meeting Trixie. Lilly would have a total conniption fit followed by a fangasm if she met a real Equestria Girl.

“You have a sister?” She asked.

“Yes. Lilly am only just turn ten, month ago. She little girl who am love magic and animals.”

“Interesting. Does she have a Cutie mark like the one on your chest?” She asked, as she pointed to the reverse superman symbol that was still partially covered by my stone medallion.

“Cutie mark?” I guess that’s what they call Birth marks here. “No, her no look like this. She have mark that look like Bull on her butt. She always get mad when brought up.” I told her, trying not to laugh. Lilly always hated that thing and promised everyone in the family that when she was old enough she’d get a tattoo to cover it up. A remark that made my parents very upset at her, which led to a long lecture about drugs, alcohol, piercings and of course, tattoos. They ended up scaring that idea out of her by showing pictures of people who tattooed their entire faces and saying Tattoos were addictive. I didn’t fully agree with my parents methods of scaring lessons into us, but it did get results. At least they didn’t make us watch those god awful D.A.R.E. PSA’s or Gun safety videos. Now those were legitimate forms of torture.

“Fascinating. So her talent relates to minotaurs then?”

“Mino-tars?”

“Yeah. I assume she helps protect the male minotaurs and their herds from bandits. Minotaur females can be pretty… well evil when they want a male to herd with.” My eyes widened at that.

Jesus Christ what the hell is with this world? Isn’t this supposed to be based off of a kids show or something? There’s no way in hell any of this would make it to air back home.

“What? No, Lilly not fight mino-tars.”

“Then what does your sister do?”

“She little artist of family. Draw nice pictures and paint good.”

“AH~. Now Trixie understands, her talent is minotaur art related. You must be really proud of your sister.”

“Yeah. Bizarro love Lilly. She always make Bizarro smile! Like When Lilly try help me make pranks on friends.” I told Trixie, recalling the time when Lilly was able to turn off Rob’s Tv with her computer. The little Brainiac found out that the tv allows people to connect their computers wirelessly so they could play youtube videos or just get a bigger screen to see what’s on their laptop. She kept turning the tv off whenever the commercials came on, completely confusing the shit out of Rob. I smiled at the memory, before I suddenly realized something really grim.

“… Me hope Bizarro can see her again… Me no know if princesses can help, but am hopeful they can.”

“Don’t worry, Trixie is sure that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna can get you home, Bizarro. They can do anything.” Trixie reassured me as we started packing away our groceries.

I smiled, filled with a new sense of hope as I helped Trixie in silence. While I was putting away some more groceries I noticed that the inside of the wagon appeared to be bigger than the outside. When I asked Trixie she said that the Wagon had a space distortion spell placed on it that gave the wagon a few more feet in each direction. Apparently it was a pretty common spell that worked within the limits of the structure that it was placed on. I asked what was stopping her from just making it the size of a mansion and she told me that apparently the spell has some limits. For example, the wheels and ground outside could support the wagon if it was actually few feet bigger, but if it went for miles in every direction the combined weight would end up forcing the wagon to sink into the ground. Also there’s the fact that if the structure is damaged then so is the enchantment.

For example, if one of the walls gets a new hole in it then the enchantment will revert the interior of the wagon to it’s original size. Imagine what would happen if a building miles wide in all directions with a bunch of furniture and other things suddenly shrunk to the size of a normal house in an instant. Either all of the items inside would get destroyed or the structure would burst from built up pressure like a balloon filled with too much air and confetti.

It made me glad humans didn’t have this stuff back home. I knew too many people who would recklessly use this spell. All I’ll say is that they didn’t have the best reputation for keeping their backpacks, lockers, or even apartments prestige and tidy.

After we finished packing up the last of the groceries and reorganized some of Trixie’s props we left the wagon and went on our way to Sugarcube Corner. Trixie and I were pretty silent during our walk as we both noticed how deserted the streets became. The only movement we saw was from a tumbleweed that blew past us.

As we made our way to Sugarcube Corner my super hearing detected the sound of mares giggling and a few dozen hearts beating rapidly. All of it was coming from inside a completely dark Sugarcube Corner.

I hesitantly made my way towards the door with Trixie close behind me. The heart rates inside were growing exponentially faster. I slowly opened the door and walked inside.

As my eyes begun to adjust to the darkness, I tried to call out. “Hello?”

Author's Note

￼

Thank you Punzil504 for this image.
Art by Punzil504
https://www.derpibooru.org/1114156?q=solo

Parties, Mares, and Bears oh my.

BIZARRO POV

My eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness of Sugarcube Corner and I attempted to find someone. “Hello? Anypo—” Only to be interrupted when the entire room lit up and everypony who was previously hidden jumped out and yelling, “SURPRISE!”

I was so startled that I jumped up into the air, causing my head to crash through the second floor.

TRIXIE POV

I was surprised when everypony yelled out surprise but that was quickly replaced by immense horror as I and eveypony else looked up at Bizarro’s torso sticking out of the ceiling. Surprisingly Bizarro just held his thumb up.

From the second floor everypony could hear a muffled, “Me good.” I let out a sigh of relief as Bizarro planted both his hands on the ceiling and pushed up, allowing him to dislodge his head from the second floor.

“Uh, sorry about ceiling Pinky.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING! THAT WAS AWESOME!” Pinkie Pie said as she bounced around us like a pinball.

“I mean, we were all like ‘shhh, shh, they’re coming’ and you were at the door looking all worried, and then you came in saying, ‘hello?’ and then we were like ’SURPRISE!’ and then you hit the ceiling like Rainbow Dash did except your head went through the ceiling! That was awesome!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she finally stopped bouncing.

“So, were you surprised?” Pinkie Pie asked. I quirked an eyebrow at the odd pink Mare as Bizarro chuckled.

“Yes Pinky, Bizarro am surprise. Again, me sorry about ceiling.”

Pinkie Pie waved a hand. “Meh, don’t worry about it. Just sign these legal forms saying that you won’t sue the owners of Sugarcube Corner or its employees for injuries that occurred on the premises and we’ll call it Even Evelyn.” Pinkie Pie finished as she held up a stack of twenty papers to Bizarro. Bizarro paled slightly at the massive pile of paper work, an interesting sight to see since his skin was chalk white.

“Ummm… Can we do ve… verb…. Can we use words and no paper?”

“Okie Dokie Loki, just Pinkie Promise not to sue us. Cross your heart, hope to fly and stick a cupcake in your eye.” Pinkie Pie said as she did a series of odd hand movements which Bizarro imitated. Once that was settled everypony seemed to relax a little bit. I looked back at the hole in the ceiling and was really impressed. For a stallion, Bizarro could do things that even most mares would have problems doing.

“HEY BOZO!” And speaking of most mares who have problems, the obnoxious rainbow maned mare from my performance stood up on a chair and pointed a finger accusingly at Bizarro.

“We’ve got unfinished business! You! ME! ARM WRESTLE! NOW!” She yelled as she pulled out a chair and placed her elbow on a table. Bizarro rolled his eyes and went over to the mare.

I was a little bit aggravated when most of the audience was watching Bizarro arm wrestle during my performance, but even I had to admit that it was something I had a hard time taking my eyes off of. Thankfully though, I had gotten over my infatuation with Bizarro’s strength… mostly… and was able to help myself to some cake as I walked around the party.

I talked to a few mares who wanted to know if I was available for Birthday parties and a few who wanted to know as much about Bizarro as possible. I scheduled the parties for the parents but didn’t answer any questions about Bizarro. I knew he told me about his dad Superman and his mom, Lex I think was her name, but I wasn’t sure how much he’d be willing to let others know about.

For all I knew this could have been something he just tells somepony when they ask him, or they could be deep and personal stories that he doesn’t just freely give away. I know it’s weird but… part of me hoped it was the latter of the two.

Because if it was, then Bizarro was showing me a deep level of trust, and that has to mean something right?

I was brought out of my thoughts by two colts who were at my performance approached me. The shorter of the two, who was a blue unicorn with an orange mane and tail, had brown eyebrows, and predominant buck teeth, walked up to me. He was wearing a Black T-shirt with his Cutie mark on it, which was a pair of half white and half grey scissors. He held up a muffin to me. “Here ya go, oh Great and Powerful Trixie. It’s a muffin with extra hay I made just for you.”

“mmmm. Hay…” The taller and… slower of the two said. He was a golden colored colt with an aquamarine mane and tail. He wore a green V neck sweater, a red shirt underneath, and tan pants. His Cutie mark was a purple and pink snail on the right side of his chest.

I accepted the muffin somewhat reluctantly as they both looked at me with wide eyes. “Oh, thanks… Um, can Trixie help you?”

The blue unicorn, whose name was Snips if I remember correctly, slightly bowed. “Oh tell us another story oh Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Yeah, tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major!” The taller one added on. I think his name was Snails.

I really didn’t want to go through the story again. They already asked about it several times during my performance, and to be honest, they were asking questions that quickly poked holes in my story. Like “when it happened, what time of day, was anyone else with me, where was the mayor?” All sensible questions but also questions I didn’t prepare for.

I gave them a fake confident smile as I spoke to them. “Sorry, but Trixie is far too exhausted from preforming feats beyond imagination. Come back in the morning and I shall regale you with the story.” When I should properly think of better half-baked lies for your questions.

They both bowed again as they slowly backed away. “Oh, of course Great and Powerful Trixie.” Snips said.

“Anything you say, we are at your beck and call!” Snails said as they continued walking backwards until they ended up bumping into the dragon I saw earlier at my performance. They looked like they were talking about something but I couldn’t hear them.

They were alright colts. Odd and somewhat creepy colts, but hey they’re only children.

My attention was brought back to Bizarro as a group of Mares and Stallions around him all cheered. Apparently Bizarro had once again beaten the heckler by a knock out. I wasn’t even aware you could win an arm wrestle by a knock out.

Bizarro strutted over towards me with a new-found sense of confidence after securing his current winning streak.

“Well, somepony seems to be enjoying themselves.” I said to Bizarro as I poured a new glass of Punch and handed it to him. Bizarro enthusiastically drank the Punch as if it were the nectar of the gods.

“Bizarro am have big fun at Pinky party. How Trick?” He asked.

“Trixie is having a splendid time. Trixie must admit, she did not expect this many ponies to attend the party.”

“It because you am Great and Strong.” He told me. I’ll admit, I blushed a little at that compliment.

“W-well Trixie would have not been able to do it without you.” He seemed pleased with my response as his smile grew a little bit more. Truth be told I’ve never really needed to rely on anypony else for my acts. Even on the rare occasions where I would take up an assistant they were more of a nuisance and a hinderance than a good assistant. But Bizarro was completely different. I preformed tricks that should have been impossible to perform. Speaking of….

“By the way Bizarro, if it’s not too much to ask, Trixie…. I was actually somewhat interested in learning how you levitated without magic, or changed how much you weigh. I doubt those weird words you told me to say actually did anything.”

Bizarro tapped an index finger to the side of his nose as he leaned in closer. “Trick know rule. Magic mares am never reveal secret.”

“But you’re a stallion.” I replied with a mischievous grin.

“Same rule still am apply.” I rolled my eyes at Bizarro and took another sip of my punch.

“Where you get muffin?” He asked, pointing at the muffin in my hand.

“Oh, just a present from one of the audience members. I don’t really like muffins though, I’m more of a cupcake mare.”

“Ah, is ok if Bizarro have muffin?” He asked. I decided to share it with him, after all hay muffins were always too dry for my taste.

As Bizarro took a bite of the muffin, his eyes widened at the taste. “Mmm. This am good corn muffin.”

I raised an eyebrow and smiled a little. “Corn muffin? Who puts corn in a muffin? It’s a hay muffin.” I told him, he suddenly started choking and coughing up bits of the muffin while hitting his chest after I said that.

“Are you okay?!” I asked him worryingly.

“Bizarro am fine. *cough cough* Wrong pipe.” He smiled weakly at me.

I put a hand on his muscular back and tried to guide him to a table. “Ok, why don’t you just sit down for a moment and Trixie will get you some punch?”

Bizarro nodded before an look of dread washed over his face. “Um, Trick? What am punch made of?” He asked.

“Don’t worry, Trixie is pretty sure it’s non-alcoholic fruit punch.” Bizarro let out a sigh of relief. I guess he must be a teetotaler. He definitely will NOT like the Nobles of Canterlot if that’s the case.

TWILIGHT POV

Trixie and Bizarro have been sitting at their table for nearly two and a half hours by now just laughing and swapping stories. From what I ~~overhead~~, casually heard over my own conversation which I was definitely paying more attention to, Bizarro was from some place called “Pencil-vania.” in some land called “America”.

It’s odd, I’ve never heard of these places in any geography books. Then again not all of Equis has been explored. Even after thousands of years there are still magical wendigo storms that feed off of sailors anger, making it virtually impossible to explore past the storms. But if this “Pencil-Vania” is actually past the storms then how did he get here?

He mentioned something about a Wizard convention in his home town where he wanted to meet an artist. I was a little confused as to why an artist would attend a Wizard convention but that wasn’t as important as the idea of a Wizard convention itself. Wizards are a rare group of unicorns who have dedicated more time in learning about magic than even I have. So for there to be enough unicorns who could become wizards to create a type of convention was a fascinating idea. Maybe one of the Wizards there used a type of long-range teleportation spell on Bizarro. But even if that were the case it would take the magical equivalent of two or maybe three Celestia’s to both teleport something living to the other side of the world, and to teleport it through a thick magic storm.

The more I learned about Bizarro the more questions I had. Questions I could probably get answers to if I just walk up and ask. But what if he says no? What if being too direct I accidentally insult him and he never tells me anything?! What if—

“Twilight, your mane’s starting pop out again.” Spike said as he laid a hand on my shoulder.

I quickly patted my mane so it was more manageable. “Thanks Spike. Im sorry, I just have some things on my mind.” I said as I turned back and glanced at Bizarro’s back. As I did so, he took out a napkin and added a tally mark to it. How odd…

“Well, looks ta me that it ain’t something, rather it’s somepony.” Applejack pointed out.

“Oh my, Twilight. Are you perhaps infatuated with young Bizarro? Despite how he dresses I do have to admit that he is quiet the catch.” Rarity said.

“N-no! It’s not like that. I’m just interested in what his story is. Who is he, where did he come from, and how in Equestria did he do all those tricks earlier?”

“They’re just that Twi, tricks. Bozo is a no-good liar and a dirty cheat.” Dash interjected as she crossed her arms.

“Oh don’t be like that Dashie. You’re just upset because you got your flank handed to you by a stallion.” Pinkie Pie surprisingly said. Wow, and here I thought Applejack was blunt when it came to honesty.

Rainbow Dash was not pleased with Pinkie’s sudden blunt truth. “There’s no way a stallion could beat me at arm wrestling without cheating! I even tried to cheat by using two hands and he still won! The only way he could beat a cheater is if he was a cheater!”

“Or he’s just better than ya.” Applejack playfully jabbed.

“Nopony is better than Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash said as she planted both of her palms on the table and pushed herself up. “Hey Bozo! Ready for round three!?” She called out to Bizarro.

“You am sure? Maybe thumb wrestle am more your pace. Beside, you still no say Trick am Great and Strong like we bet.” Bizarro said back, causing Rainbow Dash to go red in the face as she ground her teeth together.

“FINE! TRIXIE IS GREAT AND STRONG! NOW CAN WE ARM WRESTLE ALREADY!?” Rainbow Dash shouted.

TRIXIE POV

UGH! Why does that blue mare have to keep distracting Bizarro? We were having such a nice talk about magic tricks he saw back home. I mean, making a statue the size of a building disappear without magic is incredible. I’ll have to try something similar with a smaller statue. And on another note, it’ll give me an excuse to get a statue of myself.

Bizarro quickly apologized for cutting our delightful conversation short as he and Rainbow Dash, as I found out her name was, made their way to a two-pony table and prepared for another arm wrestling competition. I already knew how it would play out so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Instead I was thinking about our trip to Canterlot.

It would take roughly two to two and a half weeks to travel to Canterlot by wagon. If we took the train we could be there in a few hours, but then I would have to leave my wagon here. I know this seemed like a nice town, but I didn’t feel comfortable just leaving it here. Thankfully Bizarro understood when I told him about it and said it would be fun to perform in Canterlot with me. For some reason Bizarro has a bad habit of calling it “Camelot”. I tried to get him to pronounce it correctly, but the closest we got was Cans-lot. Note to self, don’t let Bizarro talk too much when we get there. Celestia knows what those snooty nobles would do or say if Bizarro even “dared” to misspeak in front of a noble.

I looked back over at Bizarro and noticed that he hadn’t moved his arm yet. He’s probably waiting for Rainbow Dash to tire herself out so he can beat her on round one. HA! That’ll definitely put that mare in her place.

My attention was then brought to a lavender unicorn mare with a dark two-toned purple mane and tail who had approached me and held her hand out.

“Hi Trixie. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I was hoping that I could pick your brain a bit. If it’s okay that is.” She said.

I accepted Twilight’s hand shake and gestured to Bizarro’s empty chair. “Of course, Mrs. Sparkle, Trixie always loves talking to her adoring fans.”

She sat in the chair across from me and noticed Bizarro’s napkin which had 38 tally marks on it. “Oh, what’s this?” Twilight asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Trixie isn’t sure. About every five or so minutes Bizarro would add another tally mark. When Trixie asked him, he said something about counting glances. Trixie wasn’t sure what he meant by that.” For some reason my response seemed to make Twilight blush a little.

“O-oh! I wonder what that could mean. I mean, it’s not like he has eyes in the back of his head or anything like that… right?” She asked sheepishly.

“Trixie doubts it. But what made you say that Mrs. Sparkle?”

“Just Twilight is fine, but to answer your second question… um…. no reason?”

I gave Twilight a curious glance, which for some reason caused her to sweat profusely as she was caught under my gaze before I took a sip of punch and she seemed to visibly relax.

“So Twilight, what brings you to the Great and Powerful Trixie’s humble table?”

“Well I was really interested in learning about some of the magic you used during your performance. I’m actually practicing magic myself currently. Just this morning I was able to use 25 new types of spells that I haven’t used before, but none of them could even compare to your magic.”

Oh wow, was I glad I swallowed my punch before she finished talking. 25... 25 new SPELLS!? She did that in one morning!? Impressive doesn’t even begin to describe that.

I tried to keep up a calm facade under this new information. “25? That’s an impressive amount for one morning. What type of spells were they?”

“Nothing too special. Just some creation spells, matter manipulation spells, transmogrification, and a hair growth spell. Nothing compared to what you and Bizarro did. I couldn’t even sense the magic you were using.”

I smiled and tried to keep calm as she talked about magic like it was foals play. “Well that’s the secret Twilight. A Maregician doesn’t rely on magic for their illusions. That would make it too easy for unicorns like us. The trick is to make it look like magic.”

“I get that, but I noticed that during some of your less complex tricks you were using small spells to help your illusions, but you didn’t use any with Bizarro.”

Crap! She was observing my magic during the show? I was almost certain that the enchantment on my wagon would hide spells that small. Twilight is even more talented than I originally thought. “Very perceptive of you Twilight. Trixie would be impressed if she wasn’t so aggravated.”

“Why thank you… wait, what?” She asked dumfounded.

I need to keep calm and not blow up at this Mare.

“Twilight, when a showmare like Trixie comes to perform a certain amount of trust is put between them and the audience. The showmare expects the audience to have fun and enjoy the show while the showmare must do everything in their power to make the audience happy. Mares like you who try to dissect our performance make it less fun for the audience as they are simply told how the trick works. And then there was that Rainbow Dash mare who tried to call out Trixie and Bizarro which would have forced us back on the road with no Bits. If she didn’t enjoy Trixie’s performance then she had every right to leave. Instead she attempted to turn the audience against Trixie and Bizarro and ruin their fun.” I explained.

“oh… I uh…. wow… I didn’t really think of it that way before. I’m really sorry Trixie, I just got so interested in your performance that I wanted to see if I could do it too. And I’m also sorry for how Rainbow Dash acted, she’s got a pretty big ego. And being shown up by a Stallion like that was a direct hit to her ego. Again, I’m really sorry Trixie.”

“It’s alright Twilight. Trixie forgives you, she only asks that you don’t tell the foals about it. Trixie wants her magic to be seen as fun and creative, not scientific.” I told Twilight. She nodded in understanding.

“Alright, I promise I won’t tell anypony, Trixie. I understand how important your profession is to you. You and Bizarro must have practiced really hard to do those tricks.”

“Oh, we didn’t actually. Trixie met Bizarro in the Everfree Forest on her way here. After he helped Trixie fix her Wagon’s wheel he asked if Trixie could help him get to Canterlot. Trixie agreed on the condition that Bizarro would be her assistant for both her performance in Ponyville and Canterlot.”

Twilight was slack jawed. “So then…. you didn’t plan any of those tricks?” She asked.

“No. All Bizarro was supposed to do was pass items to her and look pretty. Trixie was very happy to find out how great of an assistant Bizarro really was.”

I smiled when I said that. It was a shame that Bizarro would only be my assistant for one more performance. But I was going to make sure to pull off all the stops when we got to Canterlot so I could really dazzle the audience with my tricks.

I looked over Twilight’s shoulder as the crowd had once again burst into a roar of applause and cheering as Bizarro once again won the Arm wrestle by a knock out. I was about to congratulate Bizarro when those younger colts, Snips and Snails came bursting through the door shouting my name.

“TRIXIE!” They screamed in unison.

“What, what’s wrong?” I asked. Snips smiled nervously as he stuttered.

“eh-hahaha, W-we-we have a tiny problem.” Snips said.

“Actually, it’s a big one.” Snails said.

“And what is it?” I asked them before a loud roar echoed throughout Ponyville as the ground begun to violently shake.

“WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT!?” I shouted to nopony in particular.

“Oh great and powerful Trixie, you’ve got to vanquish the Ursa.” Snips said to me.

“Yeah, vanquish so we can watch!” Snails added on.

“WHAT?!” I screamed as I ran out the door to look outside followed by everypony else who was at the party. Sure enough, a giant celestial blue bear with red and yellow eyes was glaring at our small crowd with a furious gaze.

“It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here.” Snips commented off handily.

“Wait. You brought this out here? Are you out of your little pony minds?!” I said to them.

“But you’re the Great and Powerful Trixie.” Snips said worryingly.

“Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major.” Snails said, clearly not realizing the amount of danger we were all in.

“I can’t!” I shouted.

“WHAT?!” Snips and Snails shouted back.

“I can’t. I never have. Nopony can vanquish an Ursa Major, I just made the whole story up to make me look better. I can’t beat that thing, only somepony powerful like… Twilight!” I exclaimed, getting her attention.

“You’ve got to get rid of this thing! You’re the only pony I know with the magical abilities to do it!”

‘Um… o-ok. I can do this, stand back everypon-eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” Twilight screamed as she was swatted away by the Ursa and flew off into the distance.

We are so Bucked!

TWILIGHT POV

I screamed as I went sailing through the air until I was caught by somepony, most likely Rainbow Dash. Only she could move that fast.

"Phew. Thanks for the save Rain..." My words died in my throats as I looked up and saw the white skinned stallion that came with Trixie to the town. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I just realized at that moment he was holding me Husband style.

"Am you ok?" He asked me. I simply nodded, awestruck by the stallion. I didn't notice it at the time, but we were actually floating fifty feet in the air. I clung to his chest for dear life as I looked at the ground. But, for some reason we weren't hurdling to the ground, instead we were slowly descending like a leaf on the wind. I looked back up to my savior awestruck. How did he do this?! He doesn't have wings!

I wasn’t able to wonder about it for long as the roar of the Ursa Major brought me back to the situation.

“I have to stop it!” I shouted, leaping out of Bizarro’s arms and running towards the terrifying bear, only for Bizarro to fly right past me towards the creature. I stopped running for a moment to look at him in awe. He had just traveled faster than a train going downhill.

How was he able to move so fast? More importantly, what is he doing!? He’ll get hurt if he rushes towards that Ursa Major.

"Bizarro am here to ruin the day!~" He sung out as he flew even faster.

Bizarro flew towards the Ursa’s face, hitting the large behemoth with his bare fist. Once the Ursa was disoriented Bizarro grabbed the Ursa Major by the scruff of it’s neck and slowly lifted it into the air. As he ascended into the sky he turned the Ursa Major upside-down and crashed into the ground with the Ursa which seemed to knock it out cold. As the Ursa was laying on it’s back unconscious Bizarro then grabbed its hind legs and slowly flew into the air while carrying it.

This is just… unbelievable doesn’t even begin to describe it! He’s on par with Pinkie Pie when it comes to breaking the laws of physics!

He then started spinning around in a circle while holding the Ursa’s legs, steadily building up momentum until he let go of the giant monster and it went sailing towards the Everfree. Bizarro was still floating in the air as he watched the Ursa disappear off in the horizon. I gazed at the glorious figure that was Bizarro as he floated like a god amoung mares.

I was interrupted from my staring as I felt somepony poke my arm. As I looked down, I noticed Snips and Snails nervously smiling up at me.

“uhuheh, we’re sorry about waking up the Ursa Major.” Snips said.

“Yeah. We just wanted to see AWESOME magic!” Snails said with a cheerful smile.

“Don’t worry colts, it wasn’t your fault.” I said in a motherly tone like Celestia would. “This is all Trixie's fault!" I screamed at the damned mare. If she hadn't influenced those colts, then this would have never happened. I started to walk towards her, lighting up my horn when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. Expecting to see Applejack I turned around and was instead once again greeted to the sight of the stallion, Bizarro~.

"Am you smart?" The dreamy stallion asked me.

I blushed a little at his compliment. "O-oh. Y-yes actually, I'm Princess Celestia an—” Before I could finish my sentence the incredibly alluring stallion did something even more unexpected. He lightly flicked my horn.

"Then how am this Trick fault? Trick not tell colts to go play with bear. Colts do dumb thing to impress girl. If anyone should get trouble, it them.” He said. I was completely stunned.

"We can't punish them, they're children, and colts no less. You can't expect colts to know better." I told him.

"Me knew better than to play with star bears. Why they not know? Why no one tell them?"

"B-because—“

"Trick do nothing wrong. Trick would have tried to fight off star bear if Trick weren’t so small and frail.“

"Hey!" Trixie shouted.

"Point be, Trick no tell colts to get bear. So Trick say she fought bear, so she lie! It her job to make fake stories. Not am Trick fault colts do dumb thing to make Trick smile." He let go of my shoulder, and I secretly missed the touch of his firm hand as he walked over to Trixie.

"Let go Trick, star bear gone and me am need to find way home." He told her before walking towards the remains of Trixie's wagon which must have been crushed by the Ursa as it came into town.

"Um... me can fix that."

Author's Note

Ask and Ye shall receive Brainless.

Also, enjoy this picture of Derpy by Zakobo1137 on Ya-Webdesign

Bizarro's Bizarre Fashion.

BIZARRO POV

You know, hoping that the DC equivalent of Jesus was bad at carpentry so that I could be good at it and fix Trixie's wagon was a pretty stupid thing to hope for in retrospect. Thankfully, there were a few actually talented carpenters in town who could do the job for us in about a week or so. All the Bits from tips Trixie made from her performance and all the Bits I ended up splitting with Pinkie Pie when she was taking bets on mine and Rainbow Dash's arm wrestling contest meant we could get a pretty nice two bed hotel room while we waited. The more I thought about our situation the more I realized that I could probably just fly over to Canterlot instead of waiting for the repairs to finish up. But, I also made a promise to Trixie to help put on a show when we got to Canterlot as payment for being so nice to me.

A lot of people back home probably would have cut their losses once they found out their friend was secretly an all-powerful being or end up worshipping them. I think at least? That’s how I’d probably react. Seriously, if I was friends with someone as strong as Bizarro and we got into an argument or something, they could squish my head like a grape. Especially if my friend was as dumb as the real Bizarro. They'd probably end up killing me with a hug.

However, Trixie still treated me the same way as she did before she found out I had super powers. Speaking of which, it had only been a day and Twilight sent me several formal letters asking if I would consent to a series of experiments so she could understand my powers. Let me say that again slowly. Several, meaning more than one formal letter, each roughly seven to ten pages long, in one day. Consider the fact that I can’t read any of them and it becomes quiet the nuisance. The only reason I knew what they were was because Trixie tried to read one, an endeavor which lead to her promptly passing out after one paragraph.

Twilight had originally tried to ask me in person, or I guess the correct term would be in pony, at first but she just kept mumbling when I opened the door. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I had just gotten out of the shower and wrapped myself in a fluffy bright pink towel to cover myself when I answered the door. I guess I still need to get used to having this body. When I used to answer the door in a towel no one would bat an eye because of my physique when I was human. But now, I was a herculean giant that looked down at everyone. Not gonna lie, I was enjoying being the tallest person in literally every room I walked into.

To distract myself from ANOTHER Twilight letter, number eight if I’m right, I went to the remains of Trixie’s old wagon to help clean up. Snips and Snails were grounded for a whole month and were forced to clean up the remains of the wagon as part of their punishment. While I was glad they were actually getting punished, I thought that they should have to do something less dangerous than clean up a mess of sharp and heavy planks that could, and would, hurt somepony if they weren’t being careful.

So we came to an agreement, or rather I said something and they listened, because only idiots disagree with Bizarro. Well, Snips and Snails were idiots but they weren't suicidal idiots...... I think.

Anyway, the plan was that I would take all of the more dangerous heavy planks, sharp wood, and sharp tiles that could slice their hands open, and the two colts could clean up the more manageable sized planks of wood. Turns out it’s also good practice for their levitation magic, something they had been neglecting to do lately.

Snips and Snails would be coming over to the wagon in about an hour to clean up what I left for them, so I decided to double my efforts and work a bit faster. I was about to grab another piece of the broken wagon when it was suddenly enveloped in a blue aura and lifted into the air.

“You know that this is their punishment, right?” Trixie rhetorically asked with a smug smile.

“Me know. But me also want help.” I replied.

“Well then, the Great and Forgiving Trixie would also like to make this task a bit less difficult for those colts.” She said as she floated a few more large chunks of wood away.

“Showoff.” I scoffed, as I rolled my eyes and pulled a piece of wood that was buried deep into the ground.

“The correct term is ‘Showmare’. But yes, it is Trixie’s job after all.”

“How you am get job anyway?” I asked. I was genuinely curious about what her story was.

“Well, Trixie was attending Celestia’s school of Gifted Unicorns when she was a filly, but eventually got kicked out for… reasons beyond Trixie’s control. So Trixie went to a different school to learn magic. There Trixie found her true calling in illusion magic. Everypony acts so seriously about magic, when it should be fun! So, Trixie started traveling all across Equestria and other lands to show the true value of using magic for fun. It was harder than she thought, and ended with Trixie questioning her beliefs more than once. But, Trixie persisted onwards and eventually ran into you. That’s pretty much her story.”

“It am very nice story.”

“Thanks. That was backstory number four of twenty-eight. I have a lot of different stories depending on who my audience is. You’re lucky to get the real one. That is, if it was the real one~.” Trixie teased playfully.

I laughed heartily at that. Of course, only Trixie would be the master of her own story. “You strange mare, Trick.”

Trixie stuck her tongue out at me in playful mock anger. “Hmph. Like you’re one to talk. Trixie thinks you’re stranger than her. Even your name is odd, Bizarro.”

“It am not weirdest name back home.”

“Oh, and what’s the weirdest name you heard?”

I smiled at her question. I always loved to retell this story to people.

“Ok, so me high school english teacher had battle with other teacher at different school. They fight to see who am have student with weirdest name that year. Me no know who Bizarro’s teacher pick to say, but other teacher win with her student name.”

“And what was it?” She asked.

“Sha-Comma-on-the-top.” I told her. She gave me a bewildered look as she attempted to understand what I just said.

“Want know how spell?” I asked.

“Uh... yes?”

“S, H, Apos-trophy.”

Her eyes widened as she finally understood, and burst out into a laughing fit. “N-No way that was a name!”

“It true. That name of girl. Sha-Comma-on-the-top.”

“Wow!” Trixie said as she snickered, “Ponies where you’re from are really weird.”

“Trick have no idea how weird. Many weirder than strange name girl.”

“Really?” Trixie asked as she tried to stifle her giggles.

 “Yeah, there this one mare in English-Land who am marry 91-year-old chandelier.” Huh, guess I can say the word chandelier.

“NO WAY!” Trixie bursted into a hysterical fit of laughter. I smiled at that, Lilly had acted the exact same way when I told her about the chandelier lady. It was a shame I couldn’t tell Trixie about the twins I knew back home named Day Quill and Knight Quill. While it was funny for humans, I didn’t think it would properly translate between us. I also wondered if I could get the same reaction out of her by telling her about the lady that married a house, only for said building to be demolished a week later. If you ask me, the city was doing that house a favor by destroying it.

RAINBOW DASH POV

I really had to struggle to not laugh when Biz was talking.

Marrying a chandelier? Talk about desperate. Makes me feel a bit better about not having a Colt-friend.

Speaking of Colt-friend, I wonder if Biz is on the market. He’s not a big brotherly like so many other stallions. All they do is whine and complain.“Oh no, I broke a nail, oh no my mane is messy!” Get over it! Biz did and look at the guy, he’s awesome! He could probably take on Big Mac and Snowflake in a two against one fight… in a mud pit… with their shirts off~.

I bit my lip just imagining the scene. Biz would totally rip his shirt off like a badflank, and crouch down so he was at head level with both their crot—

“Hi Rainbow.” I let out a ~~yelp~~ totally marely battle cry as I wasn’t surprised by Fluttershy at all… Freaking ninja mare.

“O-Oh, Hey Flutters, what’s up? Come back from that animal emergency?” I asked, totally nonchalantly and not blushing like an idiot.

Fluttershy was about to say something before her eyes widened and large shadow covered both of us. I turned around to see Biz standing just a foot behind me. I let out another marely battle cry as I noticed him, and leapt a few feet back to get some distance between us. Ya gotta give stallions space, ya know?

“Me am sorry. Bizarro am no mean scare you Rain-Bo. Me hear scream and came to see problem.” Biz said as he held his big strong hand to the Cutie mark on his shirt.

“N-no problem here big guy. Just got surprised is all while I was chilling to the max.” I said as I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. “You know what I’m talking about, right Biz?”

He tilted his head to the right like a cute puppy as he pointed a finger at himself. “Biz?” He asked.

“Oh! Yeah, I give nicknames to all my friends. I mean, if you want it you know. Totally cool if you don’t like it.” Please like it, please like it, please like it.

“Me like it!” YES! “Thank Rain-Bo, me go help Trick with wheel house. See you and Flutter round.” He said as he walked off. Oh Celestia, why does he have to have that cape?! It’s blocking the goods!

“Oh my. I didn’t think you and Bizarro would become friends when I left.” Fluttershy said.

“Heck yeah! I used to think that he was just a liar and a jerk, but the way he handled that Ursa Major was awesome. You should have seen him when he punched that Ursa Major in the face! And then he grabbed the thing and suplexed it into the ground like a total beast!” I exclaimed.

“Wow. I didn’t think a stallion could fight an Ursa Major.”

“Yup, he sent that thing’s blue butt flying across the Everfree.” For some reason Fluttershy got a weird look on her face as her eye twitched ever so slightly.

“What?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah! He was in the air and he hit the thing right in its ugly mug! It flew off into the woods somewhere and—” I didn’t get to finish as Fluttershy shot off towards Biz. Oh no…

BIZZARO POV

“Everything alright?” Trixie asked me.

“Yes. Rain-Bo just get surprise. No problem.”

“That’s good to hear. If you don’t mind, Trixie is going to go back to our room and practice some tricks.” Trixie said before she walked off towards the hotel.

I waved to her as she was leaving. “Bye Trick! Have fun practice.”

“Trixie will. Thank you Bizarro.” She said as she waved back and continued walking away. Once she turned the corner I went back to work picking up the more dangerous pieces of wood before I felt something lightly tap my shoulder. I turned around and was surprised to see Fluttershy glaring at me at she hovered in the air to meet my eye level.

“Oh, hi Sh—”

“Who do you think you are to beat up a minor?” She growled at me, causing me to blink in surprise.

“What Shy am saying?” I asked.

“I’m saying, what gives you the right to beat up a baby Ursa?!” She said as she flew closer to my face.

“What Shy talk about? Me beat up big bad bare.”

“Not just any bear, an Ursa Minor. MINOR!” She, surprisingly for her, shouted loudly in my face. “AN URSA MINOR IS THAT, A MINOR YOU THICK HEADED STALLION!” She yelled at me. If I was really Bizarro I would have no idea what the hell a minor was. But, since I wasn’t as dumb as Bizarro, I quickly caught up and realized my oversight.

“oh… me not know… me… me throw baby?” I asked, as I tried not to shed manly tears… But failed.

“ME THROW BABY! BIZARRO AM BAD!” I cried out as I fell on my hands and knees. Note to self, speech is limited and emotions have essentially taken steroids to become super emotions.

“BIZARRO THROW BABY BEAR!” I continued to cry as I laid on the ground in a fetal position with my knees to my chest and suckled on my thumb. Don't you judge me dammit.

FLUTTERSHY POV

Oh my. I didn’t think that Bizarro would cry like this when I shouted at him.

“Fluttershy, what the hay happened to Bizarro?!” Rainbow Dash asked as she flew over to us.

“I-I shouted at Bizarro for attacking the Ursa. You see Rainbow, the Ursa he threw wasn’t an Ursa Major, it was an Ursa Minor.”

“So? It was going on a rampage!”

“No, it wasn’t, it was just confused and angry. While Ursa Major's are purple, Ursa Minor's are blue. An Ursa Minor is only a baby Rainbow Dash, it doesn’t know any better.” I explained to her.

“THAT THING WAS A BABY?!” Rainbow Dash shouted, eliciting a louder cry out of Bizarro.

“BIZARRO AM BAD GUY! ME THROW BABY!” He said through his tears.

“H-hey Big Guy, don’t cry, I’m sure the thing is fine.” Rainbow Dash told Bizarro. “In fact, me and Fluttershy will check on it right now! I’m sure that a big monster like that can survive a throw across the Everfree.”

“um, actually if he threw—” Rainbow Dash cut me off before I could finish.

“I’m sure it’s fine. Right Fluttershy, my very thoughtful and forgiving friend?” Rainbow Dash asked through gritted teeth. I only nodded meekly in response.

“See Biz? Totally gonna be ok!” Rainbow Dash told Bizarro as he looked up at us while sniffling.

“C-Can Biz-z-zzaro am h-help?” Bizarro asked as he wiped away another tear.

“I’m sorry Bizarro, but we need to make sure that the Ursa is ok. Unfortunately, because of your fight, the Ursa Minor may be afraid of you. If you came with us the Ursa Minor might try to run away while me and Rainbow Dash are helping it.” I explained to Bizarro.

“M-m-me am understand… S-shy, you am talk to animals good right?”

“Yes actually, it’s my special talent.” I told him, I was actually surprised since I didn’t remember telling him that I could before.

“C-can you tell star baby bear that Bizarro am sorry?” He asked.

“Of course, I will, Bizarro. And I’m sorry for shouting at you like I did.”

“No, Bizarro am deserve. *sniff* now p-please go help baby bear.” Bizarro said. Rainbow Dash and I said our goodbyes and quickly flew off to the direction Bizarro threw the Ursa Minor…. wait, how did he throw it?

BIZARRO POV

I watched Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly off to help the Ursa Minor. Hopefully it wouldn’t have been hurt too badly. As I kept my eyes on the sky I heard someone walking up behind me. Using my Telescope Vision to prevent any further surprises, I was able to see that it was Spike. I found out about my Telescope Vision when I started counting the amount of times Twilight stared at me back at Pinkie Pie’s party. I might not have perfect X-ray vision, but I'll admit that having eyes in the back of my head was a somewhat decent tradeoff.

“Hey Bizarro!” Spike called out to me as he waved. I turned around and waved back to him after wiping away the last of my tears and drying my eyes.

“Whoa, dude are you ok?” Spike asked me.

“Bizarro am fine. *sniff* Bizarro am just learn that bear me hit was only baby.” I explained to him. His skin and scales visibly paled at that news.

“That… that was a baby?…” Spike asked dumbstruck. “THEN WHAT THE HECK DOES AN ADULT LOOK LIKE!?” He shouted in a panicked voice.

“Me no know. Maybe Spike can ask Shy when she and Rain-bo come back. She say she go take care of baby. Bizarro ask if he can help, but... Shy say baby may be scared of Bizarro…” I said as a slumped my shoulders. Spike's previously terrified expression quickly softened as he placed a hand on my knee and patted it.

“Hey, don’t worry about it big guy. We were all panicking when it came into town. If you didn’t attack it then Twilight would have. And I’m sure Fluttershy’ll be able to help the Ursa Minor.”

“Thank Spike. By way, where Twilight?” I asked, looking around for the lavender unicorn Mare.

“She’s locked herself in her room writing another letter for you. I think this it’s the third draft of letter twelve.” He told me.

Damnit, that meant there would be at least four letters waiting at the front desk of the hotel room for me. I should just throw them away and tell her I can’t read, but it’s just so embarrassing.

“So I’m just staying away from the Library while Twilight has one of her… Twilight moments. I’ve just been hanging out at Rarity’s for a bit since I left. Once I explained why Twilight was having one of her moments, Rarity asked if I could come find you so she could get you in some new threads.” He said as he gestured to my tattered cape and dirty costume. My boots were absolutely drenched in what I could only hope was mud from the Everfree Forest, and my clothes were covered in a mixture of saw dust, wood chips, and dirt from trying to clean up Trixie’s wagon.

“Me think Rare-Tea be right. Bizarro clothes am really dirty.”

“Great, she’s been dying to get you into something more… oh, what did she call it? Meh, it’ll come to me later. Anyway, let’s go, I’ll show you the way there.” Spike said as he walked off towards the boutique. I looked back at the pile of rubble that was once Trixie’s wagon and decided that the pieces left over were a reasonable enough size for Snips and Snails to take care of later, and followed Spike to Rarity's place.

The walk over to Rarity’s shop was relaxing as I felt my skin soak up the rays of the sun and give me power. It felt amazing, it was like I was bathing in pure energy that seeped into every pore of my body, massaging my tense muscles as it made it's way deeper through my skin. It was fantastic, but it wasn't nearly as amazing as the night before when I felt the beams of moonlight give me more energy than I knew what to do with. It was all overwhelming to me, like I was suddenly supercharged and had no outlet to get rid of my excess energy. I ended up closing the curtains and doing some pushups to burn off the excess energy. It didn't help a lot but I was able to set a new pushup record for myself.

I wasn’t entirely sure why the moon made me feel so powerful, but my running theory was that it was acting as a sort of dwarf blue sun. Even though the moon wasn’t a sun it radiated light like one. And my god did it feel fantastic. If this happened every night then maybe I would be able to get Trixie to Canterlot in a week or so rather than two and a half weeks.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice when we finally arrived at Rarity’s shop. It was a large pink and blue circular building decorated in frills, pink diamond patterned roof shingles, and diagonally stripped purple pillars that supported part of the roof outside. For all intense purposes, Carousel Boutique lived up to its name of being a boutique designed after a carousel.

Spike opened the front door and waved a hand for me to follow in. As the bell over the door rang I noticed that the building must have had a space distortion enchantment on it like Trixie’s wagon did. I also noticed that the room was very…. Pink. Pink and frilly and just really reeaaalllly pink. The only break up from the color were the circular racks of various colorful dresses and clothes that were strung about all over the room, seemingly without any rhyme or reason.

As I was looking around the room I heard Rarity come down the stairs that were at the back of the room.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique.~” Rarity sung out as she came down to the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, a baby blue short sleeve shirt, a light purple skirt with three blue diamonds on it, and a pair of purple open toed high heels.

“Ah Bizarro, welcome to my little shop. I see Spikey told you about my plan?” She asked.

“Yes. Bizarro am in agree that me need new clothes. Old ones smell funny.” I told her as I took a tentative sniff of my sleeve, something that I will regret until my dying day. God damn super smell.

“Excellent, I was hoping I could get you into something a little less vulgar darling. No offense.” Some offense was taken at her remark.

“None am taken. So, what type clothes am Rare-Tea have?” I asked her.

“Oh, well I specialize in stunning clothing for Mares and Stallions of all ages. I was thinking of making something like a nice pink dress shirt. And then I was thinking that some sky-blue dress pants and black shoes would really pull it all together. And afterwards we could all head to the Spa so you could get your mane styled and put on some moisturizer. Oh, maybe we could even get a mud mask!” Rarity listed off as she was floating up several different materials to me. If I actually ended up wearing something like that, I think I would actually be the first person in history to die of embarrassment.

“Uhhh... What about there?” I asked, pointing to an area clearly labeled “Discount.”

“Oh, those are just a few things I don’t really need. A few old personal projects I worked on, a few custom orders that nopony ever came to pick up, and some older clothes donated to me by the Apple family. It’s nothing special really, I only keep it up for when somepony needs work clothes or something like that. Now come along, I’m sure you’ll just adore some of these stunning suits I’ve made.” She said, as she pulled my arm towards all of those frilly dress shirts and suits.

“Um, Rare-Tea, Bizarro am not stay in Ponyville long, and me have to go with Trick on road. Maybe me could get work clothes?” I asked her hoping to god she would say yes.

“Oh… Um, well I suppose that makes sense. Well then how about you get some clothes for the road and a nice suit for your next performance? A showmare like Trixie needs an appropriately dressed assistant after all. Especially if her assistant is a stallion.”

“Ok. Bizarro can do that.” I said as I made my way to the Discount section.

I always loved looking in stores with donated goods like Goodwill, The Irish Thrift, or BuffaloExchange, you never really knew what you’d find there. You could go in looking for one thing and come out with bags full of awesome clothes, plates, nick-nacks, and a plethora of other cool stuff that you’d be hard pressed to find in a Target or Walmart. And, best of all, everything was always cheap as hell.

I remember when I bought an expensive jacket that would have normally costed upwards of $100 for $20. They were also great places to go when I needed materials for my costumes. I remember when I found a pair of leather pants, black boots, and a nicely decorated black leather jacket at a few Thrift stores. Add a huge cloak with a bunch of black fur glued on it, along with a knee high black skirt and I had the perfect John Snow costume.

Man, I wonder what would have happened if I dressed up like John Snow instead of Bizarro. I’d pretty much be a normal guy with a sword in Equestria. Granted, I’d be a sexy guy with a kickass beard and silk voice with a sword. But I would still be just a mortal, stab him in the stomach and he’ll die, guy in Equestria.

I winced at the thought of my first meeting with Trixie. Had I been a normal person I would have definitely had a few fractured ribs and a broken spine. Thank Stan Lee for super human strength and invulnerability.

I'll take ugly, dumb, and invulnerable over sexy, smart, and stabbable any day. No amount of sexiness can stop death. Well, at least not more than once... I think.

After picking up everything I wanted to try on, I turned around and looked at Rarity who appeared to be cringing at the sight of the clothes in my arms.

“Am there dresser room Rare-Tea?” I asked.

“Yes Darling, just behind that curtain over there. But are you sure you want to try on… that? It’s a bit uncouth and irregular. Not to mention it’s all very old and worn.” She said as she tried to convince me to try on one of her Monkey suits. No thank you, all of it was too bright and garish for my tastes.

Denying her offer to try on something more colorful and formal, I made my way over to the changing room and got dressed. I didn’t take off my blue spandex as I dressed myself, I only removed my cape and boots as they wouldn’t fit under my clothes. How Superman was able to keep those under a slim fitting business suit I have no idea.

I would have taken off the full costume to try on the new clothes, but I ran into a slight dilemma. When I took my shower that morning I realized that my costume is more of a two person, or rather two pony, job to take off as there was a hidden zipper in the back that I couldn’t comfortably unzip. Trixie was willing to help me unzip my suit before my shower and re-zip it when I was finally dried off, but I couldn’t ask Rarity to come in here and unzip it for me. So, I made due and got changed.

Another fun fact I learned from my shower was that Bizarro actually wears socks and boxers. When I took off my boots I was fairly surprised to see that Bizarro wore socks under them. Granted they were old, filled with holes, and smelled like a rancid cheese factory, but nasty socks were better than no socks. As for my boxers, they were the traditional cliché white boxers covered in red hearts with the obligatory tear in the right butt cheek. I’ll be honest, I was expecting Superman themed underwear, and I was somewhat disappointed when I didn’t see Super-undies. I would have been able to make a few Captain Underpants jokes if that were the case.

As I put on the final piece of my new attire, a brown Flat cap, I walked out of the changing room with the new clothes I got. I was slightly excited as I exited the changing room and looked at myself in the mirror. To Rarity it was an, “Uncouth and irregular” fashion statement, but to me it was part of my childhood.

I was wearing two brown steel toed boots that were bit dirty from years of use, some nice green slacks held up by a black belt, and a black and white stripped t-shirt that was a little small but was still comfortable. I was also wearing a worn brown faux leather jacket, a pair of black gloves, and finally an old brown flat cap, or as Rarity called it: a Griffon fisher hat, that rested comfortably on my head. I ended up keeping my Bizzaro stone medal around my neck, but I couldn’t for the life of me explain why. The medallion just felt… Good, like it was keeping me safe or something.

Once I exited the dressing room I quickly made my way to a nearby mirror that I couldn’t take my eyes off of. It was all too perfect, I looked exactly like Eric Powell’s Goon. Even if I had bleach white skin, I looked like a perfect imitation of the character. Which I suppose makes sense since both the Bizarro I cosplayed as and the Goon were drawn by the same artist. I swear if the Goon and I were in the same room, we could be twins.

“This am great Rare-Tea! Bizarro am look like Goon!” I exclaimed, causing both Spike and Rarity to look at with puzzled expressions.

“Um, apologies Bizarro but is it a good thing to dress up like a ruffian? I mean, everypony likes a bad stallion, but a goon?” Rarity asked.

“Oh no, Bizarro am talk about hero named Goon. Me did read about Goon from comic book back home.” I explained to her. Spikes eyes widened with joy.

“You read comics!?” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, Bizarro am read many comics back home. Like Kick… Flank? Yes, KickFlank, WatchMares, Spider Stallion, and, am best of all, Goon.”

“Really? Wow! I’ve only heard about the Power Ponies comics before! Hey, do you want to read some with me?” Spike asked enthusiastically with a smile that could rival Pinkie Pie.

“Me like that very much, but… Bizarro am have problem.”

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked.

“Bizarro… Bizarro am no read. Me knew how to, me even knew speak good and write. But now, head hurt when Bizarro try. Bizarro never get read comics again…” I said dejectedly. Spike looked shell shocked while Rarity looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“W-well what if I read the words and you look at the pictures!” Spike offered. I was actually surprised by his idea.

“You am do that… for Bizarro?” I asked dumfounded.

“Sure, what are friends for?”

I’ll be honest, I cried a little. Manly tears of course. “That make Bizarro very happy. Thank Spike.”

RAINBOW DASH POV

I had just gotten back to Ponyville after leaving Fluttershy alone with the Ursa Minor. The thing had an entire tree stuck in its leg that went right past the bone. Thankfully it was apparently just the equivalent of a splinter since Ursa’s need to fight things like Hydras and rogue Dragons out in the wilderness, so hopefully his Momma bear won't destroy Ponyville over the equivalent of a splinter.

I have to say, I thought Bizarro was strong before but after seeing how far he threw the Ursa Minor I was impressed. He chucked it clear over the freaking Castle of the Two sisters. Took about two to three hours just to find the damn thing.

Fluttershy was in awe when I told her that Biz was able to fly without wings. I don’t understand how he does it, but it’s awesome! I really wanted to get back to Ponyville and challenge him to a race. I’ll admit he may be stronger than me, but I’m the fastest flyer in all of Equestria. Luckily since I was flying back solo it only took me thirty minutes to fly back. As I did so I noticed that the Ponyville library had its sign switched to open. I guessed that whatever Twilight was freaking out over had been resolved. So that meant I could try to read the newest Daring Doo book before I challenged Biz to a race.

I came in flying through an open window, because as Daring Doo would say, “Doors are for chumps.”

Doing a kickflank roll when I landed, I stopped before I jumped and landed perfectly on the couch. “Nailed it.” I said as Spike walked out of the Kitchen wearing a pink frilly apron.

“Oh, hey Rainbow Dash. I didn’t hear you come in. Sorry about that, I was busy washing some dishes.” Spike said.

I jumped off of the couch and looked around the room. “Hey Spike, is Twi around?”

“Yeah, she’s locked up in her room right now.”

I looked back at Spike. “She locked herself in her room?”

“Yeah. She’s having another Twilight moment.”

I nodded my head knowingly. “Ahhh, Gotcha. I thought she got over it since the sign was flipped. Not that it matters, I just came over for the newest Daring Doo Book: Daring Doo and the Dreaded Doppelganger.”

“Sorry Dash, but I don’t think that’ll come until a few hours later. You know how the MailMare can be. If you want you can wait here and read something until they’re here.” Spike suggested, I shrugged in response. If I could wait a month, then I could wait an a few more hours until the copies arrived.

“Thanks Spike.” I said, as I made my way to the object of my desires in the ~~children~~ young adults’ section.

“No prob. Oh hey, do you want to read some Power Pony comics with us?” Spike asked.

“Nah, I’m good squirt. I’m just gonna stick to some good Ol’ fashion Daring Doo if ya don’t mind.” I told spike. He shrugged before going to the shelf to find the other Power Ponies comics.

I laid down on the couch with the most recent Daring Doo book of the series, Daring Doo and the Diamond Skull. I gotta remember to thank Fluttershy for getting me hooked onto the series after I got off of the Power Ponies bandwagon.

Bleh. Power Ponies, Noooo thank you. Sure, I might have read them when I was a filly, but lately they’ve been getting too lame and repetitive for my taste. Not to mention boooooring, especially after those stallion parents passed that stupid Comic Code thingy so they were, “Less Violent.” Buck that! Comic book violence is the second best type of violence. And they ruined it! If I ever read one of those books again, it would be against my will.

“Hey Bizarro, ready to read some Power Ponies comics?” Spike asked.

Unless Biz is there too.

I sat up and looked at Spike. “Oh wait, you said Power Ponies? I thought you said… um…. Flower Phonies! YEAH! I’d love to join you and Biz reading some comics.” I said to Spike as he pulled the last Power Ponies comic off the shelf.

“Awesome Dash.” Spike said as Biz walked out of the kitchen.

“Bizarro can’t wait! Me am so happy!” Biz exclaimed as he dried his hands off and put on a pair of black gloves. I looked over at Biz’s new clothes and whistled in surprise.

He was wearing some nice thick brown boots, a pair of form fitting green pants, an old brown leather jacket, a pair of black gloves, some type of funny looking hat, and best of all a t-shirt that made Bizarro look like an escaped convict. He looked soooo badflank! Even his weird stone necklace looked like it went great with his outfit.

“Daaamn. Nice duds Biz, where’d ya get ‘em?” I asked.

“Oh, hi Rain-Bo. Bizarro go to Rare-Tea and she offer clothes. But me no accept. Am too frilly and weird for Bizarro. Then me find these in cheap section of store and Bizarro buy them.”

“Really, Rarity let you go out dressed like that? No offense, I think it looks great, but Rarity doesn’t seem like the type of Mare who’d let a stallion go out dressed like that.”

“She let Bizarro go if me promise to wear ‘fancy’ clothes in Camelot and say Rare-Tea am make them. Me no know why ponies like dressing up in monkey suit.”

I snickered when he called all those hoity-toity clothes monkey suits. “Monkey suit huh? Gotta say, I’ve never heard anypony call it that before. Mind if I start using that?”

He shrugged with his massive shoulders. “Go head. Me not make saying, and it am free world.” He said, before turning around to talk to Spike about something.

Now that I had a totally unobstructed view of Bizarro’s toned flank, which was awesome by the way, I noticed something off about him. I didn’t notice before because Bizarro’s cape covered his back all the way to his feet, but now I could see that he was missing something rather important.

“Um, hey Biz?” I asked hesitantly. “You um… It’s just… Uh… where’s your tail?”

Bizarro looked at his flank for a second, almost as if to confirm that he didn’t have a tail, before he looked back at me and shrugged. “Me cut off tail when me young. Too bushy and itchy.” He told me casually before returning to his conversation with Spike.

He… HE CUT OFF HIS OWN TAIL?! Oh sweet Celestia this dude isn’t just a JaneFilly, he’s a beast! A tail isn’t just a thing you can chop off! It helps a pony keep their balance and sense of direction. Cutting off your tail would be like cutting off a cat’s whiskers, but worse! Sure, you can trim it but you never cut it off! Not to mention that there’s more than just hair in a tail. All that hair comes from a a small tail made of flesh and blood that’s part of the body! Cutting off your tail because it itches is like sewing your belly button shut because belly button lint is annoying! It’s totally crazy, irresponsible, dumb and… and… Kinda hot.

Holy crap… I think I’m in love with a crazy stallion… and for some reason, I’m totally ok with that.

Author's Note

Cute Derpy drawing by Slifertheskydragon on EquestriaDaily.com

And the other image I wanted to use to show his clothes.

Also, I apologize if I offended anyone named Sh'.

Bizarro's Bug.

TWILIGHT POV

It took a few hours, but letter number twenty-three draft four was my best letter to Bizarro. If that letter didn’t make him want to answer my questions, then I did’t know what would. I sent the letter via a teleportation spell that would make it magically appear in Bizarro’s bedroom. Since it wasn’t a weapon or anything dangerous, it was able to get through the hotel’s anti-teleportation enchantments with relative ease. They were mainly used to make sure some pony didn’t either teleport a bomb inside a building or teleport themselves inside and rob the place.

It sickened me to think of unicorns using their magic for such disgusting things. Magic should be used as a creative force, not a destructive one that can severely harm or even kill ponies. Thankfully enchantments like the anti-teleportation enchantment were making it harder and harder for unicorns to use their magic for evil.

As I cleared my thoughts of all those bad ponies, I finally left my room and went downstairs, which allowed me to be greeted to a rather interesting sight. On the far right side of the room, Rainbow Dash was splayed over my couch and covered in what looked like Bizarro’s red tattered cape, while Spike, who was on the other side of the room, was sleeping on Bizarro's lap. Spike was nestled into Bizarro's lap like a kitten while Bizarro was sitting upright, propped up against a book shelf and surrounded by piles of Power Ponies comics and toys.

I didn’t have long to question the scene before me as I heard a knock at the door. Once I got to the door and opened it, I saw Trixie on the other side looking to her left and right nervously as she was biting her fingernails.

“Hello Twilight, Trixie was wondering if Bizarro has been here. He didn’t come back to the hotel room last night and Trixie is somewhat worried.” Trixie said as she stroked her mane.

“Oh, don’t worry. Bizarro is right over there. I’m not really sure when he came over though. By the look of the melted candles, I’d say he’s been here all night.” I told Trixie as she visibly seemed to relax. “By the way, how did you know Bizarro may be here?” I asked.

“Well, Trixie was reading some of the letters you sent Bizarro asking him how he was able to fly and lift the Ursa Minor. So she assumed you may know where he is.” She explained to me. My cheeks started to burn up at the implications. She didn’t read those letters, did she?

I’m not a bad mare, I was just desperate for answers. That’s all, I’m not weird or anything. Besides we’re both consenting adults!

“Um, T-Trixie you didn’t happen to read l-letters twenty through twenty-two did you?” I asked nervously before Trixie shook her head and alleviated my worries.

“No, Trixie only got up to letter four. Trixie does have to ask though, you do know that Bizarro can’t read right?” She asked me. My eyes shot wide open.

“BIZZARO CAN’T READ?!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, causing everypony who was previously asleep to wake up. Rainbow Dash leapt off of the couch and hit her head on the ceiling causing her to fall back down to the ground. Bizarro had a similar reaction as he shot up like an arrow, sending Spike flying towards a wall. Luckily, I was able to catch Spike in midair with my magic.

“Wha-wha? Bizarro am asleep! Go, yes.” Bizarro said as he shook his head. “No. Me mean Bizarro am awake. What happen?” Bizarro asked as he looked around the room.

“Sorry Bizarro, that was me. I was just really surprised when Trix—” I didn’t get to finish my sentence as Spike burped up a letter from Princess Celestia.

Bizarro and Trixie stared at me wide eyed as I went over the contents of the letter.

“Am… Am Spike just burp letter?” Bizarro asked nopony in particular.

Rainbow Dash flew over to Bizarro’s side and leaned her elbow against his shoulder. “Yeah, ya get used to it. Spike is able to burp dragon fire to send and receive messages from Princess Celestia.” She explained.

“Wait, she talks to Princess Celestia?” Trixie asked surprised.

“Well duh. Twilight is Princess Celestia’s student after all.” For some odd reason Trixie paled slightly at the news. As she was doing that I let out a gasp as I finished the Princess’ report.

“Oh No!” I exclaimed.

“What wrong?” Bizarro asked me.

“Bizarro, I need you, Dash, Spike, and Trixie to stay here while I get the girls.” I told him and the others present.

“Why? What am going on?” Bizarro asked as he took his hat off and held it in his hands.

“I’ll explain when the girls are all here. Just know that I’ll be back soon.” I said before I teleported out of the library to inform the town and get the other girls.

RAINBOW DASH POV

Twilight and the other girls came to the library a bit after Twi teleported away. Twilight was rushing over to her book shelf and stuffing her infinite purse with thick books as I was doing some cool poses with Bizarro’s cape. I’ll admit, I mainly did it because it felt nice and smelled like Bizarro, but I also did it because it looked badflank on me.

I wonder if I can get Rarity to make me a cape.

Once Twilight shoved the last book she needed into her purse, she gathered us all in the main room of the library and told us what was going down. “Ok girls. I just received a letter from Princess Celestia that the cloud of black smoke that appeared in the sky didn’t come from a fire. Instead, it’s coming from a dragon.” We all gasped when Twilight said that. Even Bizarro seemed taken aback by this news.

“What in the name of all things Apple Cinnamon is a full-grown dragon doin’ here in Equestria?” Applejack asked.

“Sleeping.” Twilight told us. None of us really knew how to properly respond to that answer so we all just chose stunned silence. “According to Princess Celestia, he’s taking a nap. His snoring is what’s causing all of this smoke.”

“He should really see a doctor. That doesn’t sound Healthy at all.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Well at least he’s nor snoring Fire! What are we meant to do about it?” Rarity asked Twilight.

“I’ll tell ya what we’re meant to do.” I said, flying up a little higher so everypony could see me. “We’ll give ‘im the boot! Take That!” I demonstrated by kicking a wooden Bust of somepony in the center of the room. “And That!” I shouted trying to kick the Bust again, but Twilight grabbed it in her magic and moved it out of the way. While Twilight wasn’t happy with my kickflank plan, I could tell Bizarro liked my idea.

“We need to encourage him to take a nap someplace else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and we must not fail. If we do then Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next 100 years.” Twilight explained. Fluttershy let loose a horrified gasp after hearing that.

“Hmph. Talk about getting your beauty sleep.” Rarity joked to Pinkie Pie.

“So, you am plan on fight dragon?” Biz asked.

“No. Like I said, we're going to encourage him. If that encouragement involves a little force than it’s just forceful encouragement.”

Biz nodded his head in agreement as he pressed his fists against his waist and struck a confident pose. “Then Bizarro am go too.”

"Oh no Bizarro." Twilight told him. "You may have taken down an Ursa Minor," Biz winced at the mention of the bear. "But this is a fully-grown dragon. The girls and I will take care of it. This is a mission for the Elements of Harmony. Not the Elements and one civilian."

"Bizarro am no civil villain. Bizarro am strongest stallion. If dragon there, me fight. No am let friends get hurt." Biz told her with confidence before he walked towards the front door.

"Point Bizarro in direction and me fight dragon." Biz said as he opened the door and walked outside towards the train station. But, after he was a few feet from the door be began to stumble about until he fell to the ground.

"Bizarro! Are you ok?!" Trixie asked.

"Bizarro... am good... Just... just need moment to... lie down.” He said in between large breaths of air.

"What happened Biz?" I asked him.

"Bizarro head am hurty and. *cough cough.* Me am feel… not so Bizarro." Biz tried getting up again only to fall down to his knees in a furious coughing fit.

"Bizzar… Bizarro am be good when get to dragon. *Cough!* Just give Bizarro minute." He weakly said.

"Sorry Bizarro, but there's no way we're letting you leave Ponyville in your condition. The other Elements and I will deal with the dragon, and when we get back we'll find out what's wrong with you." Twilight said as she enveloped him in her magic to lift him over to the couch I slept on in her library last night. His coughing fit only seemed to get worse as was laid down.

"N-no! Bizarro am no let f-*Cough!* F-friends go be in danger!" Biz told us as he tried to get up again, but failed miserably as he fell onto the floor near the couch.

Applejack walked over to Biz and put him back on the couch. "No way Bizarre. Ah know yer a tough cookie, but whateva's the matter with ya is only gonna get worse if we let ya come along. Sorry Bizarre, but yer stayin' right here even if I have ta hog tie ya to this couch."

I wouldn’t mind seeing that.

"Trixie will stay here with Spike and Bizarro. Hopefully together we can help Bizarro." Trixie said to our group as we all nodded our heads with a new-found determination. Even Fluttershy had a determined look on her face.

“Alright everypony, gather supplies quickly. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us. We’ll meet at the train station in an hour and then walk up the mountain after we get off.” Twilight told us before she walked down to her basement.

“Alright girls, you heard her, the fate of Equestria is in our hands.” I said flying around the room to get everypony pumped up.

“Do we have what it takes?” I asked the group as they all gave positive responses and left the library with a confident stride. I gave a quick glance to Bizarro before I left.

“Get well soon Biz, because as soon as your flank is off that couch we’re gonna have a race!” I told him as I flew out the window.

BIZARRO POV

Life is paaaaiiiiinnnn….

“Sorry again Trixie, I wanna help out Bizarro, but I need to go to Fluttershy’s house and take care of the animals while she and the girls are gone.” Spike said to Trixie as he went over to the door.

“Trixie and Bizarro understand. Go take care of Fluttershy’s pets. Trixie and Bizarro will hold down the fort here.” Trixie said as she waved Spike off. Once he was gone Trixie closed the door and searched the house for extra blankets and pillows to add to my tomb of blankets.

“Triiiiick, Bizarro am no need so many blankets.” I told Trixie as she put another blanket on me.

“Yes you do, Bizarro. Your skin is absolutely freezing cold. If you weren’t talking to me, I would think you were a corpse.” Trixie said as she slipped back to talking about herself in the first person.

“Hey Trick, why you am talk funny sometimes?” I asked her.

“Oh, it’s just a habit at this point. Trix—I-I mean, I accidentally shift between the two without even noticing.”

“When Trick start talk funny?”

“Hmph. You’re one to talk, Mr. Pot.” Trixie said in fake annoyance as she wore a smug smile.

“If you really want to know, it started when I heard a riddle. A mare asked me what was mine but other ponies used it more than I did. When I guessed wrong she told me that the answer was my name. So, I tried to use it more often. It eventually wormed it’s way into my performance and then into my actually personality. I’ll admit, I became very enveloped in the role of The Great and Egotistical Trixie.” She finished with a more low-spirited tone.

“Trick am not Ego…Eggot… Trick am not that word.”

“Really? So boasting my own fake feats isn’t egotistical?” She asked rhetorically with a wave of her hand.

“Not for reason Trick am do it. Trick do it to make ponies happy, not make you happy. Those two colts love Trick more than Trick love herself. And all the other children am love Trick’s funny way of talk. It am only little less weird than how me talk.” I reassured Trixie.

“Wow… Thank you Bizarro, that means a lot to me.” Trixie said with tears in her eyes as she stared at me.

I smiled at Trixie before I noticed the bags under her eyes. “Why Trick am look sleepy?”

“Oh, I was waiting at the hotel for you last night. And when you didn’t come in I got worried so I didn’t go to sleep.”

“Aww, Bizarro am sorry to scare Trick. Bizarro no know how long me be here.”

“What were you doing by the way?” Trixie asked me.

I managed to free an arm from my blanket and pillow prison and gestured weakly towards the bookshelf holding Spike's collection of Power Ponies comics. “Rain-Bo, Spike, and Bizarro am read comics last night. Spike and Rain-Bo read words for Bizarro and me look at pictures.”

“That was nice of them… would you…. would you like me to read you some comics too?” Trixie asked, I nodded weakly in response.

Trixie got up from her seat and grabbed a handful of comics to read to me. As she read the stories, she used her magic to make some of the images on the pages move. They were nice, but I wasn’t able to enjoy them too much as every time she did it I would break into a serious coughing fit without fail.

I think my body may actually be allergic to fun. What's the point of super strength if I feel like shit?

As I laid on the couch looking at the images and listening to Trixie’s impressions of the characters I was reminded of how Lilly and I would hang out whenever she was sick. I would make her some microwavable chicken soup and secretly add some garlic powder to it to help her immune system a bit. She hated garlic powder with a passion, so I often had to hide it under other things like oregano and other stuff. It took her a while to find out I was secretly adding it to her soup without her knowledge or “permission”.

Please, I was the older brother, like I needed permission to take care of my sister. As siblings we both had two jobs, either care for the other or torment them relentlessly. It’s what siblings do.

I remembered this one time my throat was so bad that I literally couldn’t talk for three days straight unless I ate something warm like soup, and even that was only a temporary solution. Lilly sought to take full advantage of my weakened state as she started asking to do a bunch of stuff after saying, “If it’s ok if I do X don’t say anything at all.” I attempted to stop her to the best of my abilities at the time, which amounted to nothing because I was bedridden for those three days.

Still I’d take that over whatever the hell is happening to my body. It’s cold but also itchy all over, like a million ants are just casually crawling on my skin on a winter's morning.

At some point later on into story time session, I fell into a dreamless sleep like every other night since I appeared in Equestria. I awoke the next morning as Twilight opened the door, letting the sun hit my face as she did so.

“Hey Bizarro.” Twilight said. “How are you feeling?”

“Bizarro... am feel better.” I said as I sat up on the couch with a new-found sense of energy. I looked around the room and noticed Trixie had fallen asleep on one of the tables with her face lying on a Power Ponies comic as she softy snored. I smiled when I saw her sleeping there, it warmed my heart to know that she was there for me. Getting one of the dozens of blankets that previously entombed me, I wrapped it around her shoulders.

“I must say, Bizarro, I’m impressed that you recovered so fast.” Twilight said as I finished covering Trixie.

“What am Bizarro say? Me am full of surprise. Also, how dragon fight did go?” I asked her.

“Oh it went pretty good, Fluttershy was able to ‘encourage’ the dragon to find a new spot to nap.”

I raised my eyebrow at that. “Shy fight dragon?”

“Encouraged. And technically yes, she stared him in the eye and essentially told him to buck off. It was actually pretty impressive. Who knew she had it in her.”

“Me can imagine so. Shy am scary when mad." I said as I shivered at the memory of her berating me. "Well, if you am no mind me go on run for bit. Me need stretch legs.” I told her as I placed my flat cap firmly on my head and opened the door. I was going to make the most of the day after spending so much time lying down.

"Hey Biz! You're up!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she flew above me.

"You might have beaten me at arm wrestling, but I bet you can't beat me in a race!" She proclaimed. A small and confident smile made its way to my face at I looked up at her.

"Oh? You am bet?"

TWILIGHT POV

Once Bizarro left the Library I quietly snuck past the sleeping Trixie and made my way down to the basement. Before the girls and I left to deal with the dragon, I set up a scanning spell that would check Bizarro's vitals and body temperature every fifteen minutes. I was hoping that this information would not only tell me if he was healthy or not, but also explain how he was able to perform all those tricks with Trixie and how he was able to fly without wings.

As I looked at the results from my upgraded magic spectrometer, my eyes widened in horror at the recorded data.

I... I don't believe this. "I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" I exclaimed as I looked at the results again. Sure enough, they confirmed it.

"This is impossible... According to these test results Bizarro has no magic in his body at all. If anything his immune system is trying to fight off the magic to prevent it from affecting him. He's essentially allergic to magic!?"

This was the literal definition of impossible. I went over the recordings again and again as I tried to make sense of the results. For a pony to be allergic to magic would be like if I was allergic to air. Magic is in everypony and everything. Even the other species on Equis have some latent form of magic inside of them that manifests itself in different and unique ways. For there to be anything, especially a pony, to exist without magic in them is unheard of.

Apparently my shouting was enough to wake Trixie up as I heard her lightly knock on my basement door.

"Is that you Twilight? Is everything ok down there?" Trixie asked. I teleported upstairs next to Trixie with the data I collected and began to explain the situation to her.

"Bizarro is allergic to magic! I had a machine set up downstairs with a timer spell that would scan Bizarro's vitals and magic levels every fifteen minutes. These results show that Bizarro doesn't have any magical signature inside of him. Not only that, but his vitals seemed to weaken whenever the magical pressure would increase inside the library. Please tell me you didn't use magic near him!"

Trixie looked absolutely mortified after I finished my explanation. "His coughing... Trixie thought it was odd when he would only cough when she levitated the comics... I.... I didn't know..." Trixie finished with tears in her eyes.

"Oh this is bad! If he's allergic to magic but is constantly surrounded by it then he might die! In fact, how is he not dead?!" I asked in my hysteria. "And then there's all that stuff that he can do! How can he do magic if he's allergic to it?!"

"This is bad... Is there a book or something here that might help?" Trixie asked.

I knew that I didn't have any books on this type of subject, a pony having no magic would be a book topic that I would have memorized by heart. But that didn't stop me from trying to look for something anyway. As Trixie and I were looking through the bookshelves, Fluttershy and Spike came into the library.

"Thank you again for taking care of my animals, Spike." Fluttershy said.

"No problem. It was kinda fun." Spike said, he then looked around and noticed us looking through the book shelves.

"Hey, is everything alright?" He asked.

"NO! BIZARRO MIGHT DIE AND I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING!" I shouted. Both Spike and Fluttershy's eyes widened.

"WHAT!? What's wrong with Bizarro?" Spike asked.

"Twilight found out that Bizarro is allergic to magic. How this is possible, neither Trixie nor Twilight knows. Now she and Twilight are trying to see if there are any books about the subject." Trixie explained to them.

"He's allergic to magic? How is that possible!?" Spike asked.

"We don't know!" I said as I continued looking over the shelves.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" Flutershy asked.

"Yes, go find Bizarro and see if you can get him back here. He said he was going on a run before he left." I told Flutershy.

"Trixie will go as well, with any luck Trixie and Fluttershy will find him." Trixie added as they both rushed out the door.

"Spike." I said, gaining Spike's attention. "I need you to take a letter." I told him.

Be safe Bizarro. I don't want you to get hurt out there.

BIZZARO POV

I don't think my pride could have been more hurt at any point in my life than at that moment.

I call shenanigans on Rainbow Dash. She totally cheated with that Sonic Rainboom. Caused by breaking the sound barrier my ass. I broke the sound barrier while we were flying but rainbows didn't come flying out of my butt.

I also knew her "impartial judge" Scootalo, lied about Rainbow Dash beating me when we both got to the trees at the end of the race. My hand passed the tree line first dammit. But, I took it in stride and did what any rational person would do. I challenged her about a dozen more times.

I won a few, she would win others, but most importantly of all, she also gave me some much needed instructions on how to fly properly. Turns out that a lot of how flying works depends on the slight adjustment of your shoulders.

After we tied for the fifth time we both decided to take a break, while I wasn't too tired Rainbow Dash wasn't used to doing so many Sonic Rainbooms in a week, let alone a single day after walking up a mountain. I, like an idiot, tried to rile her up and say she just didn't want to lose again and bet that if she won I would do whatever she asked and she would do whatever I asked if I won. I was planning on having Rainbow Dash be a test dummy for some of Trixie's magic tricks after I won.

So, we had one final race for all the marbles to see who was the fastest out of the two of us. Surprisingly, it turned out that she was faster. And so, I had to do whatever Rainbow Dash said.

Walking with a new sign hung around my neck, Rainbow Dash walked next to me with a smug smile on her face.

"Say it." She commanded.

I sighed as I resigned myself to my fate. "Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster than Bizarro."

"And?" She asked.

"And better than Bizarro."

"Aaaand?"

Truthfully, this shouldn't have aggravated me as much as it did. But the fact it gave Rainbow Dash so much pleasure really rubbed me the wrong way. "And she am cooler than Bizarro..." I grumbled out.

"You know it, Biz!" She said, as she playfully punched my arm. "Now say it again!"

I let out another sigh as we continued to walk, "Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster, better, and cooler than Bizarro am..."

"Ok, now say that you're a big ol' brotherly stallion. Oh! And that you can never be as marely as me." She demanded. I rolled my eyes at her weird demands. If Trixie thought she was egotistical, then Rainbow Dash was the god of egotistical ponies. Thankfully, salvation came in the form of a timid yellow winged pegasus with pink hair.

"There you are Bizarro! Are you okay? Twilight said... said..." Fluttershy started, but trailed off when she noticed the new sign around my neck, causing her cheeks to burn brightly.

"Bizarro!" Trixie shouted as she ran over towards us with ragged breaths.

"Am Trick ok? You am look tired."

"Trixie should be asking if you're o...." Trixie stated, but also seemed to stop as she noticed my new accessory. Both of their reactions were odd to me. I didn't understand why a sign that said I lost to Rainbow Dash would cause them to look at me like that.

"Um, Bizarro? Why are you wearing a sign that says 'Rainbow's Bi—' " Fluttershy started, but once again stopped, this time interrupted by Rainbow Dash.

"We had a bet and he lost." She said before she pointed a thumb at my sign. "He has to wear that sign and tell me how awesome I am." She said with her voice full of pride.

Trixie was still blushing before she ripped the sign off of my neck and ripped it apart.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash yelled. She would have said more, but a poignant glare from Trixie stopped her.

"Bizarro, how are you feeling?" Trixie asked me.

"Me am good. Pride am hurt but me am fine." I told her.

"Oh thank goodness!" Trixie exclaimed before she looked at me nervously.

"Ummm... Bizarro, I'm not sure how to say this but... Twilight found out something bad." She said.

"What? Am she ok?" I asked. Trixie shook her head.

"It isn't about her, it's about you. Twilight found out that you're... allergic to magic." Trixie told me.

"Oh, yeah. Me guess Bizarro am." I said as I tried to play it off. Part of me really hoped that that was a normal thing here.

"YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO MAGIC?!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

And like that all my hopes were dashed away. "It am not so bad. Other stallions and mares am allergics to other things." I told them, thinking about those people back on Earth who were allergic to the Sun or snow. I called bullshit on the idea of people being allergic to snow when I first heard about it, since I believed that snow was frozen water, but it turned out a person could be allergic to it. Go figure.

"It is bad Bizarro! What if you died?!" Trixie asked me as she grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer.

"Bizarro am fine Trick." I told her as I held both my hands up in a calming manner. "Magic where Bizarro am from am... Different. It am not used by heroes much. Lot of bad guys like Mr. My...Mix... Mr. Mix-el-pet-lick am use magic for bad. So, heroes fight bad magic baddies."

"So... Did one of these magic casters make you allergic to magic?" Trixie asked me.

"... Yes?" I lied, hoping that that was enough to stop their questions. "Magic am bad for me, and it am hurt Bizarro. But me am good now."

"Then how were you able to fly or do all that other cool stuff like fight an Ursa?! That has to be magic!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"That am... weird to explain. Bizarro am like plant. Me am get strong from sun." I explained to them as I glossed over the flying part of her question and hoped she wouldn't notice.

"L-like a tree?" Fluttershy asked with an odd twinkle in her eyes.

"Kinda. It am hard to explain. Me not sure how it am work. Only that it do."

Fluttershy tapped a finger on her chin as she made a thoughtful expression on her face. "hmmm. So... You only got sick because the dragon smog was covering the sky, which in turn blocked the Sun. And since the ash from dragon smog has latent magic in it, it caused your immune system to weaken and allowed you to get sick." Fluttershy summarized. We all looked at her with surprised expressions which caused her to blush and absentmindedly play with her hair. "I know a lot about plants." She said.

"Shy am on nose." I told them.

"So this is normal for you then?" Trixie asked.

"Yup. No need am worry. Dragon am gone and sun is in sky. Bizarro am good." I reassured them.

"You're positive?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes, no need am worry. Bizarro am fine. Also, me am want this to be secret."

"Why?" Fluttershy asked.

"Bizarro am not want many ponies know. Bizarro.... Am embarrassed." I lied once again. Truthfully, I just didn't want word to get around about my weakness so ponies could use it against me. Ponyville seemed like a nice enough town, but after hearing about other towns and cities like Manehatten and Applewood, I din't want gangs or thugs to know I was an easy target. Especially if they tried to force me to be a weapon.

I wan't sure if mind control magic was a thing in Equestria or not, but I knew enough about the concept of magic to know they must have a long list of spells that used to be used for torture. I'd much rather be brainwashed by magic than be brainwashed by torture and magic.

"Hey Biz, you shouldn't be embarrassed by that. A unicorn did something evil to you. It's not your fault." Rainbow Dash explained.

"Still... Am we keep this tight lip? Me no want word to get around."

"If it'll make you feel better, then I'm sure the girls and I can keep your secret." Fluttershy said as she patted my arm reassuringly.

"Thank Shy." I told her.

After Trixie and Fluttershy were sure that I was ok, they left to go tell Twilight about my "allergy". Which left me with a concerned looking Rainbow Dash.

"You am ok?" I asked her.

She was silent for a bit as she tried to collect her thoughts. "It's just... You are ok, right?" She asked.

"Yes Rain-Bo, me am fine. Other ponies am off worse."

"Good, because you still need to wear this." She said as she handed me a new sign. I reluctantly took it and hung it around my neck. I considered asking her what it said, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't really tell me.

"Now, tell me how great I am." Rainbow Dash said.

"Ugh... Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster than Bizarro." I said as I began to walk away.

"And?" Rainbow Dash playfully asked. I was happy that she wasn't making a big deal out of this. And if having fun was her way of coping with it, then I'd gladly play the part of a fool for a friend.

"And better than Bizarro."

"And?"

"And she am cooler than Bizarro..."

"Aaaand?" She asked. I could tell it was going to be a looooong day.

Author's Note

No idea who made this, but thanks if you're reading this.
https://derpibooru.org/1561417?q=bizarro

Sleepover Gossip.

TWILIGHT POV

The rain fell heavily outside, slowly flooding the small streets of Ponyville as the rain drops crashed into the ground, drenching everything in the storm's path as it rolled over our modestly sized town. The sound of thunder boomed across the darkened sky as the storm grew stronger with every passing moment.

“Trixie thanks you for letting her stay over her during the storm, Twilight. Trixie would have stayed at the hotel but it’s so boring without Bizarro there.” Trixie said as she hung up her purple cape and matching wizard hat on my coat rack.

“It was the least I could do for you Trixie. Especially after that Ursa incident.” I told her, remembering when I tried to pin the whole thing on Trixie. That was definitely one of my lesser moments, but it was a valuable lesson to learn about jumping to conclusions and judging those who didn't deserve it. I had treated Trixie so poorly when she arrived, scanning her with magic while she was preforming, blaming the Ursa incident on her, it was horrible. And yet, she miraculously forgave me and even became one of my new friends.

“Trixie has already forgiven you Twilight, it’s all water under the bridge.” Trixie said as the rain started to get heavier outside. As Trixie looked out the window of the library her expression hardened while she stared at the falling raindrops with a small sense of contempt.

“Trixie does not understand why the Weather Team would schedule such a heavy rain shower so suddenly.”

“Well that dragon smog yesterday shifted the schedule a bit so they’re trying to make up for it by having a heavy downpour today. It should also help give the plants a bit more energy after having no sunlight for nearly an entire day.” I explained to Trixie. “Not to mention that the weather team was already behind schedule even before the dragon incident. So this was bound to happen sooner or later. Do you know why Bizarro won't be at the hotel for the night?”

“Not really. Bizarro just told Trixie that he was going to ‘cover’ for Spike on something since Spike is on his way to Canterlot. He should be over at Bulk Biceps Gym with Big Mac and Snowflake. Trixie's not sure what they’re doing though.” Trixie told me as she sat down on my couch.

“Knowing those Janefillies, probably something extremely marely.” I responded as I took a seat next to her.

BIZARRO POV

This is it, the moment of truth; if I fail this then Big Mac is going to die. It’s all on me to save the day. This has to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done since I came to Equestria. Thankfully, all my practice and training from back home will finally pay off and help me save my friend.

…………..

“…… AM NATURAL 20!” I shouted out as my 20 sided die landed on 20.

Snowflake skimmed through the contents of his leather bound book and begun to speak. “You managed to cut through the vine strangling the life out of Sir Biggum and, as a bonus, scared off the other plants in the area, clearing the path so you and the prince can head through the woods. YEAH!” Snowflake explained to us.

“Me am love Guy time!” I said happily as I threw both my hands in the air. Big Mac chuckled at my enthusiasm for Ogres and Oubliettes as he scribbled something on his character sheet.

I was having the absolute best time of my life. What can I say, I hadn’t played Dungeons and Dragons since I was in High school and I was in love with our current campaign.

“As you continue your trek through the forest of Mayfly you stumble upon a fork in the road that leads onto two separate paths. What do you do?” Snowflake asked after he was done explaining the scenario.

“I wanna do a perception check on ‘em.” Big Mac said as he grabbed the 20 sided die and shook his hands vigorously before releasing the die to see if his plan would come to fruition.

“12.” Big Mac said as he looked at his die.

Snowflake looked at his book as he scanned the pages. “You notice a faint smell coming from the right path but you can’t discern if it’s a good smell or a bad smell.” Snowflake told us.

Oh boy, this just got real!

TWILIGHT POV

“You’re probably right.” Trixie said.

As we were about to continue our discussion I heard loud shouts outside. After getting out of my comfortable seat and walking over to the window I saw Applejack and Rarity outside in the rain arguing.

“APPLEJACK! RARITY” I shouted out to them as I opened the door. “Come inside, it’s dangerous out there.” I told them. Rarity immediately rushed inside to escape the pouring rain to protect her mane, Applejack on the other hand was much more hesitant to join us inside as she stopped at the door and looked back at the growing storm.

“Wait a sec, Twi, is inside a tree really the safest place ta be in a lightning storm?” Applejack asked me.

“It is if you have a magic lightning rod protecting your home like I do. Now come on in.” I said, reassuring Applejack that everything would be alright. Applejack then walked inside and kicked off her muddy boots before she placed them on the welcome mat to dry, much to the disgust of Rarity.

“Really Applejack, you should have rinsed those outside before you just threw them about willy nilly.” Rarity chastised.

“Don’t worry about it you two, I was planning on getting a new Welcome mat.” I told them. “Anyway, the weather is pretty bad out there, so I don’t think it’s safe for either of you to go home. If you two want you can join Trixie and I in some fun activities.” I offered before I realized something incredible.

“*GASP!* It’ll be just like a slumber party! Oh, I’ve always wanted to do one of those!” I shouted with joy as Applejack and Rarity shared an uncertain look with each other.

I turned around and levitated a book off of the shelf. “Thankfully I have this great book. It’s called Slumber 101: All You Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.” I said while the thick book floated into my hands.

“That’s an oddly specific book.” Trixie commented as she peered over my shoulder to get a look at the cover of my book.

“I’ve been waiting for a chance to use this book, and today’s the day! Oh it’s going to be so great!” I said as I passed the book over to Rarity for her to skim through.

“Oh, it says here that one of the activities is makeovers!” Rarity said as she looked through the contents of the book.

“Come on girls, I believe that we’ll have everything we’ll need in the kitchen for our mud masks.” Rarity said as she walked towards the kitchen.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it right there. Ya’ll gotta problem with mah muddy boots, but mud on yer faces ain’t a problem?” Applejack asked.

“Silly Applejack, they’re two different things. Mud is filthy and gets in your pores, clogging them up and making you smell. A mud mask is made to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion by seeping into your pores. And while we’re letting it soak in we can gossip too.” Rarity explained as she led us all inside my kitchen. After grabbing the necessary materials we all covered our faces in mud masks and covered our eyes with cucumbers.

“Trixie must admit, this is a good way to just de-stress.” Trixie said reclined in one of my chairs.

“I agree. This is really nice.” I added.

“Meh, it’s alright.” Applejack commented offhandedly.

A comfortable silence washed over us for a few moments as we allowed the Mud masks to properly set. Trixie soon let out a content sigh as she felt the mud soak into her skin.

“So, what do we do now besides relax?” Trixie asked us.

“How’s about we talk about Bizarre. I’d like ta know more bout ‘im.” Applejack suggested.

“Oh my, he’s definitely an interesting stallion. Tell us Trixie, how did you ever come across Bizarro?” Rarity asked Trixie.

“Yeah, an’ where can I get one?” Applejack playfully added as she threw a cucumber slice in her mouth before muttering, "Wish these were apples."

“Well there isn’t much of a story. Trixie was walking through the Everfree when one of her wagon’s wheels gave out. Trixie was trying to fix it for a while before she heard a noise and saw Bizarro there. She asked him who he was and he said he was going to attack Trixie.” Trixie stated.

All of our eyes widened, causing the cucumber slices to fall off of our faces as Applejack, Rarity, and I shouted in unison. “WHAT!?”

“There’s no way Bizarre would jus threaten ya fer no reason. What’d ya do ta make the big lug so angry wit cha?” Applejack asked as she narrowed her eyes at Trixie.

“Trixie did nothing to provoke Bizarro, and Bizarro didn’t really want to fight. After defending herself from him he said that he didn’t want to fight. After he struggled to find the right words he told Trixie that somepony placed a curse on him so that he says the opposite of what he means.” I scowled when Trixie told me that.

I can’t believe somepony would be so evil as to place a lie spell on Bizarro, especially with Bizarro’s unique condition.

“So it was a lying spell then? I admit I have used them on myself more than once when attending parties so I could secretly insult the hostess but those faded away after a few hours." Rarity said as she took two more cucumber slices and placed them on her eyelids.

“Well I’ll be. No wonder it always feels like he’s lyin’. He needs ta lie ta tell the truth. Colt… That’s sad. Did he tell ya who the no good varmint that did it to him was? ” Applejack asked.

“He said it was the same stallion who sent him here. Somepony who called themselves the seller who was attending a Wizard party or something.”

“A stallion used that spell?" I asked. "I mean, I could see somepony like Starswirl the Bearded being able to, but those were different times where the stallion population was practically one to one with mares. Nowadays, stallions aren’t strong enough to do stuff like that. Granted there are some exceptions but a spell like that is just too much for one stallion in today’s society. The more I learn about Bizarro’s home country the weirder it sounds.” I said to the group.

“Could it be that the stallion population is a bit better in… Where did Bizarro say he was from?” Rarity asked Trixie.

“Pencilville.” Trixie wrongly stated, but I couldn’t correct her and let her know I ~~was eavesdropping~~ casually overheard them talk at the party. “And from what he told Trixie, magic is apparently different there as well and is mostly used for nefarious purposes. One of them apparently placed a spell on Bizarro to make him allergic to magic."

"That's dreadful!" Rarity exclaimed, once again causing the fruit to fall off of her eyelids once more.

"I'd like ta kick the stallion who done did that ta Bizarre in the teeth. That big ol' lug don't deserve that. He's too innocent, an' pure, an' dumb. He's just so helpless, he's like a foal." Applejack said.

"Actually, that's not true. Before Bizarro came here he was apparently going to college.” Trixie told her.

“Oh, so Bizarro is a scholar then?” Rarity asked, I leaned in a bit closer as my curiosity was peaked by this sudden and new information.

“No, Bizarro said he went for a year before he was sent here. Apparently whatever this ‘Seller’ did to Bizarro also caused him to become illiterate.”

“Lan sakes he can’t read? That’s an awful shame.” Applejack said as she took off her stetson and wrung it in her hands.

“And these spells are still affecting him?” I inquired. Trixie nodded in response.

“Trixie is not sure how, but she believes that Bizarro was also given his ability of flight by the Seller or somepony like him. It’s the only explanation that Trixie can come up with since he's clearly an earth pony and not a pegasus.”

That would explain his flight but not why he was given it. Why would a stallion torment another stallion by making them illiterate, placing a lying spell on them, and then teleport the across the globe with one of the most advanced flying spells I’ve ever seen? It wouldn't make any sense to hurt him and give him a gift. Then again Bizarro did say unicorns where he’s from were different, maybe there's some sort of sadistic twist to the gift like he can fly but he can never fly back home?

I could only imagine one of those evil unicorns crated the disease that caused ponies to become allergic to magic and become illiterate. I can't think of anything more evil than an illiteracy spell, such a spell is an affront to magic and shouldn't even exist!

“Wow that’s all mighty strange. Hmph. Guess Bizarre lives up to his name sake.” Applejack said.

“Indeed. Even Bizarro’s Cutie mark is odd. I wonder what a yellow and red diamond is supposed to mean.” Rarity pondered aloud as she tapped her index finger against her chin.

“What? Ain’t no way that’s a diamond, Rares. That there’s a shield.” Applejack stated firmly.

“Trixie thought it looked like a stream of magic over a diamond. What do you think Twilight?” Trixie asked me.

“I’m not sure. I’ve looked into every book that I have on Cutie marks and their various meanings, but I couldn’t find anything that even remotely resembled Bizarro’s.” I told her.

“Hmmmm. Maybe it relates to his sister’s talents then.” Trixie said.

“Wait, Bizarre has a sister?” Applejack asked in surprise. We all looked to Trixie for conformation.

“Yes, Bizarro told Trixie that he had a little sister who had a Cutie mark for Minotaurian art. Maybe Bizarro’s Cutie mark relates to minotaur culture where he’s from.”

“hmmmm. I might be able to get some books on the subject later. But I think the best course of action would be to ask Bizarro himself.” I said.

“Oh no! You can’t just ask a stallion how they got their Cutie mark darling. You have to ease into the topic slowly with them. Asking a stallion about his Cutie mark is like asking them about their length.” Rarity interjected.

“I wouldn’t mind askin’ ‘im what his length is.” Applejack mumbled under her breath.

“APPLEJACK!” Rarity shouted.

“What? Don’t go ’n pretend like y’all haven’t thought of it, what wit askin’ him ta come over to yer shop so you could size ‘im up an get yer hands on ‘is abs.” Applejack accused.

“T-that was only so I could get him some proper clothing.” Rarity defended as she wore a heavy blush on her face.

“By the way, Trixie would be interested to know how Bizarro’s costume for his final performance is coming along.” Trixie asked, thankfully changing the topic before it went too far.

“It should be ready before you leave. I would have it done a bit sooner if it wasn’t for this dreadful weather.” Rarity replied as her blush slowly died down.

“Thank you, Rarity. Trixie would like to get on the road soon, so we’re going to try to leave early in the morning.” Trixie said.

“Yer leavin’ in about three or so days right? Got enough on ya fer the trip?” Applejack asked.

“Trixie believes she has more than enough for our adventure. It should only take two weeks, maybe two and a half at most.”

“That’s an awfully long time to be along with a stallion darling. Oh I could see it now, you and Bizarro will be so tired after you pulled the wagon and Bizarro prepared dinner for you, that you’ll both plop right onto the bed and then—“ I interrupted Rarity before she got into more explicit details.

“ANYWAY. I think we’ve had these masks on long enough.” I said as I magically removed all of our mud masks.

“The next item on the list is ghost stories. Who wants to go first?” I asked our little group.

The rest of the night was filled with stories, snacks, games, pillow fights, and finally the obligatory sleep at a slumber party. Trixie and I shared my bed while Applejack and Rarity shared my spare bed. It was all going great.

BIZZARO POV

I left Snowflake’s gym after getting a pretty good distance into the campaign. It was a shame I wouldn’t be able to continue it once I left for Canterlot with Trixie. Ecnad the warrior Orc would have to wait a while for his chance to do battle.

As I was flying towards the apartment building I heard the muffled sounds of Applejack and Rarity arguing about something from Twilight’s Tree Library. I stopped for a second in the sky as I wondered just how safe a literal tree house could be in the middle of a lightning storm.

Just as I was wondering about their overall safety, I felt something run through my body and course through my veins before I blacked out and plummeted towards the ground. I don’t know how long I was out for, but it didn’t feel like it was long as I soon felt the rain hitting my skin as I laid down in the mud. The next thing I felt after that was two pairs of hands on me as two ponies struggled to carry me somewhere.

Once we were inside and safe from the rain, I started to regain my hearing as I heard my friends around me start to panic.

“Oh my goodness, what happened to him?! He’s smoking!” Rarity asked.

“I think he was struck by lightnin’! This ain’t good ya’ll! We needs ta get him to a hospital or he'll di—“ Applejack was cut off as I let out a painful groan and sat back up.

“Owie… Bizarro face am feel funny.” I said as I slowly sat up. “What am happen?”

“You were struck by lighting, and Applejack and Trixie had to rescue you, Darling! You’re extremely lucky to be alive right now. Why on Equis would you go outside in such a ghastly storm?” Rarity asked.

I Looked down at myself, checking to see if all of my limbs were still there since I couldn't feel most of them. As I inspected my body I noticed a clear burn mark on my chest that tore through my stripped white shirt, revealing the reverse Superman symbol underneath my normal clothes. I figured it was caused by the lightning outside, which if Rarity was right, apparently hit me while I was flying.

“Oh. Uh, Thank Trick and Applejack. Bizarro no think lightning hurt.” I said as I rubbed the back of my head to alleviate some of the pain that started to build up in my skull.

“Now what would give ya a stupid idea like that?” Applejack asked.

“It no am hurt Superman.” I said as I was still trying to collect my bearings.

“What do you mean it wouldn’t hurt your father?” Rarity asked.

“Superman am Kryptonian. He am invis… in…. He tough.” I said, not thinking about the words as they left my mouth.

“Kryptonian?” Twilight asked.

I paused as I tried to think of what to say. I didn’t want to tell them about aliens and life out in space, let alone other dimensions and all of that stuff. But I couldn’t exactly lie like I did to Rainbow Dash and the girls before because now Applejack was there to catch me. Being in town for the past few days taught me that she was basically a living lie detector, which I found out after Trixie told Applejack seven of her backstories before she just gave up and said it was private. Interestingly enough, Trixie never told Applejack backstory number four, something I made a mental note of.

With no alternatives, I decided to tell them an incomplete truth and hope that it could get past Applejack's weird Spider sense powers.

“Superman born on place called Krypton long time ago. Superman little baby when parents sent away. They am never saw super again."

"Why is that? Surely your grandparents must have missed their little Super." Rarity asked. I looked down at the symbol on my chest in deep thought for a moment as I went over Superman’s origin story in my mind. I knew it was fictional, but for some reason it felt so real to me. I felt a deep pang of sadness rush through my body as I though of Krypton’s fate.

"Krypton go... big boom after Superman leave. Big green smarty lie, say all good on Krypton. But Kypton shake and shake more until it fall apart and go boom." I said silently and solemnly. There was an audible gasp around the room as they all listened to me. Rarity and Trixie were on the verge of tears, AppleJack held her Stetson to her heart, and Twilight looked at me with wide eyes.

"So, Krypton is..." she started to say, but I finished for her.

"Gone. Krypton go boom. Few live... Super's cousin live, Super's dog live, but bad meanies also live. General Zod was big meanie before smart green. And smart green also live. They follow Superman and family to new home and fight. Superman win many times and am make things good." I told the with a reassuring smile. My statement brought a new sense of hope to the room before I pointed at the symbol on my now exposed costume underneath my burnt shirt.

"This am Superman's symbol backwards. Other way, symbol am mean hope." I told them.

"So what does the reverse mean?" Twilight hesitantly asked. I took a moment to think about that. If Bizarro is the opposite of superman, wouldn't this symbol mean fear or hopelessness?

Bizarro was everything Superman wasn't, he was reckless, stupid, and was the villain on more than one occasion, but he always wanted to be the hero. What would it mean if Bizarro's symbol meant Hopelessness, that he was always destined to fail, that he couldn't accomplish anything?

Then again, I don't feel like that's right. And even if it was, I'm not just Bizarro, I'm Michael Goodman.

I looked at the group with a sense of new-found resolve as I spoke to them. "It mean change. Change am good and bad, and inev... ine... Change am happen no matter what.

"Hope always around and hope create change. But change am not always be good. It can be good, bad, big, small, and scary. But change happen. Bizarro am change for better. Become something new." I told them as I sat up a little straighter. This is it. Even when I go home this entire experience will have changed me. Because of my friends, I will change for the better.

Author's Note

Blue Flowers for Bizarro.

BIZARRO POV

The sleepover at Twilight's house was overall a pleasant time as the girls decided to let me join in on their sleepover activities after Rarity quickly patched up my stripped shirt. I had absolutely no idea where she got the extra fabric from, but at that time I didn't care enough to ask.

We played a few games like 20 Questions, Truth or Dare, and Blind Animals. Needless to say, I was really hating the fact that my X-Ray vision ONLY worked on lead. Trixie’s a great girl but she was terrible at giving instructions to somepony who’s blindfolded.

After playing a few more games, talking, and just overall having a fun time, we all hit the sack sometime around one in the morning.

After everyone woke up the following morning Applejack, Rarity, and Trixie left early to head to Sugarcube Corner while Twilight went to the Train station to wait for Spike. I had decided to stay behind at the library for a bit as I was attempting to read a children’s book, or technically a foal's book, in secret. I was hoping that I could try to teach myself from the ground up. I believed I would be able to read again once I got back to Earth, but if that weren't the case then I wanted to be prepared. Plus, I was getting tired of asking Trixie what the words on our takeout menus were.

Eventually I just gave up and threw the book through the floor in annoyance. After covering the new hole with a convenient throw rug I went outside and headed towards Sugarcube Corner. As I was walking through the town however, I noticed that everypony was locked in their own houses. The only ones on the street at the time were myself and an oddly familiar tumbleweed.

I saw a few of them peek out from behind their curtains and heard all of their hearts racing in fear. I didn't see anypony outside until I rounded a corner and saw a mysterious figure wearing a long brown cloak digging in the ground with their hands. I was curious as to why they were outside and why everypony was inside, so I decided approach them and ask if they knew what was going on.

“Hello, Me am Bizarro.” I told the mysterious pony. My sudden approach seemed to startle them as their head turned back at break neck speeds, their eyes then widened in surprise as they looked at me before they seemed to calm down after a moment.

“Oh! Sorry, I did not hear you approach, I mean you no reproach but you were even more quiet than a cockroach. Ah but where are my manners, if I don’t introduce myself it would upset the great planners.” The mysterious mare said as she stood up and removed her hood to look me in the eye.

Surprisingly, she was a bit taller than most ponies in Ponyville, actually standing up to my chin if you didn’t count the mohawk, which made us about the same height. She had light grey skin like Ditzy Doo and wore a Zebra Skin tank top and short shorts, both of which looked a size too small for her figure. She was also wearing several gold bands around her wrists and her neck which complimented her golden earrings nicely.

She held out her hand for me to shake and, as I accepted it, she introduced herself. “Hello Bizarro, my name is Zecora, and may I say that you have quite an interesting aura.”

I raised an eyebrow at that statement as she began to study my hand inquisitively. “What am Zecora mean?”

“The power within is you is very odd, something comparable to a god. If I was religious, I may worship you. However, in our culture, to praise more than one god is taboo.”

“Ummm… Me thank you?” I said as I slowly removed my hand from her grasp.

“I am sorry if I insulted you my friend, the intention of my compliment was not to offend. It is hard for me to talk to somepony new, you are the first to not run away when I come walking through.”

“Why that? You do something bad?”

“No, the masses only run away in fear because I am somepony who was not born here.”

I was both surprised and offput by her casual remark. "Wow... That am sound kind of racist.”

“Racist? If you mean Speacist then I agree, it is partly the reason why I live in the Everfree. But I do not blame them for their ignorance, they are scared because one pony is a lying nuisance. The Everfree is vast and overgrown, and I am something new and unknown, thus the townsfolk leave me alone and listen to their town liar drone.”

“That sound sad… You am really all alone?”

“Yes, but do not shed tears for me my new friend, for I have seen the signs and soon this fear shall end. The spirits tell me things will soon change and I will no longer be seen as strange. How and when this will happen I cannot tell, but the end results will surely be swell.” Zecora rhymed with pride and joy in her voice.

I smiled at Zecora’s optimism. “Bizarro am happy to hear that. Me wish Zecora luck.”

“Thank you Bizarro, but if you don’t mind I’d like to continue our conversation tomorrow. I must get home quickly to finish some chores after that my home will always have open doors.” She told me.

“Thank Zecroa. Me hope you am have good day.”

“And to you as well, hopefully this day will not give you hell.” She said as she waved goodbye and headed towards the Everfree forest. I was about to walk away before a certain pink blur tackled me to the ground.

“THAT WAS AWESOME BIZZY! You showed that Evil Meanie whose boss and ran her out of town!” Pinkie Pie said as she straddled my chest. I’ll be honest, I was never in such a compromising position before in my life so I really didn’t know how to respond. Thankfully Rainbow Dash came to my rescue and pushed Pinkie Pie off of me.

“Yeah, Yeah, Biz is awesome and cool, but we need your help!” Rainbow Dash said as she tried to pull me up by my arm and failed.

Getting up off the ground I looked at the group of six ponies and dragon that surrounded me. It was Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and… Pinkie Pie again? I looked back at the spot where I saw Pinkie Pie first only to see the space she was previously occupying was empty and had that same damn tumbleweed go past it. I had no idea how or why she did that and I firmly decided not to question it. “What wrong?” I asked the group.

“Applebloom’s gon missin’! Ya gotta help us look, Bizarre. She could be in danger!” Applejack told me with panic and fear laced in her voice.

My eyes widened worryingly before I nodded my head firmly. "Don't worry Applejack. We am find her." I reassured her.I wasn't going to rest until those two were reunited.

ZECORA POV

I was busy walking home through a path where danger does not roam as a thick fog rolled in, and made things outside of it hidden. Although I could barely see in front of me, I knew something followed into the Everfree. I could sense this thing was not malicious but was rather quite ambitious.

I decided to ignore it for a while and wear an ignorant smile. If this being truly wished me harm then it would have set off an alarm. From what I could feel it was just curious, thus I had no real reason to be extra cautious.

Then the sound of shouts filled my ear and I turned around to see something I fear.

“Applebloom!?” A voice called out in concern not noticing they were standing in a dangerous fern.

“You get back here right now!” The orange one yelled, ignorant of the dangers those plants held.

My eyes widened in horror and I attempted to holler.

“Beware, beware you pony folk, those leaves of blue are not a Joke.” I tried to warn, but many there looked at me with scorn. I backed away into the embrace of the mist, hoping that I could go home and assist.

“Ya-you keep yer creepy Mumbo Jumbo ta yerself, ya hear!?” The one in the Stetson said, with eyes that wished me dead. Many others shouted in agreement but Bizarro didn’t seem to like my treatment. Two other mares seemed to share his despair at my treatment which was quiet unfair.

“Beware, beware.” I said as I quickly got out of there. I hoped that Bizarro may make them see reason, although I didn’t know if it would happen this silly season.

I also worried for Bizarro. Because of those plants, he and his friends would face great sorrow. I wouldn't let such a travesty easily pass, else I be lazy and sit on my bare ass, and as a shaman I refused to be lazy, even if those mares may drive me crazy.

I could not fully blame them for their judgment being so hazy, they only hated me because of rumors spread by a lying mare named Daisy. But by helping my new friend bring his suffering to an early end, I may kill two birds with one stone by dispelling the rumors before they grew into incurable tumors.

TWILIGHT POV

I looked at the girls with a deadpanned expression as they talked about being “Cursed.”

“You guys, there’s no such thing as curses.” I told them.

“Actually Twilight, Trixie knows that curses are real. While they aren’t used much in Equestria, they do exist. Bizarro was even cursed to speak like he does now.” Trixie stated.

“Even if curses real or no, Zecora no use it on us. She seem like nice mare.” Bizarro added.

“But she’s evil! Eeeeeviilll~. I even have a song! It goes, She’s an evil enchan—“ I interrupted Pinkie Pie with a silence dome over her while she went through her song. I had absolutely no desire to hear that song more than seven times in one morning.

“Bizarro’s right, about the curse anyway, Zecora didn’t curse us because she can’t. Real magic comes from within, it’s a skill you’re born with. Curses are just an Old Stallion’s tale.” I told them.

As I was explaining this, everypony except Bizarro and Trixie walked away from my explanation. Applejack, who was holding Applebloom in her arms, looked back at me after she walked a few feet away.

“Jus’ you wait Twilight. Yer gonna learn that some Ol’ Stallion tales are true.” Applejack warned me before she left with the other girls.

Bizarro looked back in the direction Zecora left before he left the Everfree forest with me and Trixie following close behind him. Aside from following Zecora halfway into the forest nothing interesting happened for the rest of the day.

That night however, I thought about what Trixie and Applejack said and the rather dark implications they have if curses are indeed real.

There’s no such thing as curses. There’s no such thing as curses….

I repeated in my head until I finally dozed off and was welcomed into Luna’s dream realm.

The next morning came far too abruptly as I got out of bed and greeted my reflection in the mirror. My mane was a complete mess from tossing and turning in my sleep.

“Heh. Maybe Zecora cursed my mane.” I said jokingly as I ran a mane brush through it, only to stop and stare at my newly disfigured horn.

It was awful! Instead of acting like an exterior bone, it was drooping over my forehead and covered in blue gangly polka dots. “OR MAYBE SHE CURSED MY HORN!” I shouted. It seemed as though my scream was loud enough to wake Spike up.

“What? Twilight, what’s wrong?” Spike called out from my room. I didn’t respond as I ran downstairs and looked through all of my books. I spent the next few hours searching through every book in my library that I thought could be helpful.

“No, no, no, no, NO! None of these books have a cure!” I shouted, as I went through yet another medical book.

“Ugh! There has to be a real reason besides curses! A sickness? An allergy?”

“Or, it could actually be a curse.” Spike suggested.

“Spike, despite what Trixie and the others said, curses are not real.” I told him. “Now help me find a book that could help with… This.”

“Weeelll…. Hmmmm. How about this one?” Spike asked as he held up a green book titled Supernaturals, natural remedies and cure-alls that are naturally super.

“Supernaturals? Spike, this isn’t a supernatural problem. This is a biological problem.”

“But what if you’re wrong, Twilight. You heard Pinkie Pie’s song. Don’t you remember the ‘Pinkie sense’ incident? She’s usually right about stuff like this.”

“Thi Tham thfhit!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Her tongue was sticking out of her mouth and covered in blue polka dots just like my horn.

“Pinkie, what happened?” I asked. I didn’t get a coherent response from her as she was just spitting as she struggled to talk with an inflated tongue.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash was banging against the window as she tried to come in until she finally managed to fly through the door and crash into one of my bookshelves. “Zecora cursed us!” Rainbow Dash said as she laid in a pile of my books.

“I’m afraid I have to agree.” Rarity said as she walked through the door. Her mane and tail were overgrown and completely covered her body with a thick layer of purple hair.

“I hate ta say I told ya so, but I did! It’s a curse.” A shrunken version of Applejack said atop Applebloom’s head as they walked in behind Rarity. I noticed that Applejack was wearing a small blue suit with a red sash and gold colored epaulettes, possibly a dress made for a prince doll that Applebloom had on hand. After them, Fluttershy entered my house looking more shy than usual.

“What about you Fluttershy? What happened to you?” I asked.

Fluttershy was quiet for a few moments before she finally spoke up in a deep baritone voice. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Spike suddenly bursted into a laughing fit as he rolled on the floor before Trixie and Bizarro entered the room.

“Please tell me you two are ok?” I mainly asked Bizarro but Trixie decided to respond first.

“Trixie has to wear a suppressor ring on her horn to prevent her from turning objects into Tea cups. It was Bizarro’s idea.” She said as Bizarro walked past her and the rest of us.

“Bizarro, did anything happen to you?” I asked him. As I turned around I was surprised to see Bizarro looking at the book Spike offered me a bit ago, while wearing reading glasses that were a few sizes too small for him. He didn’t avert his eyes from the book as he spoke to us.

“Why yes, it appears that the components of the flower have greatly increased my intelligence and speech pattern, allowing me to properly communicate with you all for once. I must admit that while this is a very pleasant change of pace from my normally broken vernacular, I cannot go on like this for much longer without injuring myself severely. Unfortunately, I am honestly distraught that I must surrender my new abilities so that we may all live, but it is a necessary sacrifice.

“From what I was able to gather from this book on toxicology that I procured from your shelf, Twilight, it appears that we are all currently under the effects of a rare and dangerous type of poisonous plant known as Plantae Bane-Jest or, as it more commonly known as, Poison Joke. The effects of which are seemingly random depending on who it affects, causing one or more of the affected party’s attributes to change vastly.

“Though the common pattern appears to be that the Poison Joke will often take something and make it the opposite. In your case Twilight the plant has effectively nullified your ability to use magic, while greatly amplifying Trixie’s magical prowess to the point where she needs a suppression ring to stop her spells from turning everything into Tea cups.” He explained. Everypony except Trixie was slack jawed by Bizarro’s new found wisdom and dialect.

“Now, as this book on supernatural remedies and Toxicology has stated this plant is a type of poison, meaning that prolonged exposure to it without necessary treatment can and will lead to death. According to the reports collected by Poison Joke victims, an affected party’s life span without a proper cure ranges from two months to one year, with the longest of all the results being one and a half years. However, that result was a somewhat special case scenario as the affected victim worked with poisons, toxins, and other dangerous substances which strengthened their overall immunity to the plant.

“But even then, the mare eventually died of severe organ failure, resulting in her lungs being forcefully ejected from her body after she literally coughed them out. Unfortunately for her, and others like her, there was no known cure at the time she and the other victims were affected by the plant. However, recent medical advancements have found that some herbal remedies do have the capability to cure victims of Poison Joke, but only if the cure is applied before the five-month mark, assuming that the affected party lives that long.” Bizarro then closed the book with one hand creating a loud booming noise that rang out in the room and caused us all to tense up a bit as he casually continued on.

“So, I suggest that we rush over to Zecora’s residence and see if she has the necessary components to produce a remedy for us to use. An hour or so of soaking in the cleansing herbal bath should remove any short term or long-term effects caused by the plant, not including incidents or injuries such as Rainbow Dash getting head trauma or Applejack getting stepped on.” He said as he lifted Applejack up and placed her on his shoulder.

“So, now that I’ve explained that Zecora did not put a ‘hex’, 'curse', or any other type of negative magical charm or spell on anypony, and was instead attempting to warn us about the dangerous effects of the Poison Joke, may we please go so that we can rectify this situation?” He rhetorically asked as he walked to the door and opened it. We all just dumbly nodded in response, completely unable to speak.

"Excellent. Spike, Aplebloom, you two should stay here until we return. Even though Zecora isn't dangerous I can only assume the Everfree is. Can you do that?" He asked.

"Sure thing Mr. Zarro, just take care of mah... Lil' sister." Applebloom said as she shot a mischievous look at Applejack.

"Don't worry, I will." Bizarro said as he walked out the door.

As we all followed Bizarro outside I could hear spike mumbling something that sounded like, “Brainio...”

BIZARRO POV

FUCK. POISON. JOKE.

My head was hurting the entire morning after those damnable plants. The pain I originally felt when I arrived to this world came back with a horrible vengeance as my brain was quiet literally trying to explode out of my skull.

I tried to ignore the horrible throbbing pain as I grabbed a few plants and herbs that the book said were necessary for the cure. While this wasn't enough to stop the pain, it did somewhat help. Thankfully the group of Mares following me was quiet for the most part as we trekked through the Everfree Forest. However, the peaceful silence was soon interrupted by the ever-so inquisitive Twilight as she fidgeted in place before she finally asked a question.

“So…. Bizarro, now that you’re… smart, do you think you can tell us all a bit more about where you’re from? It might help us get you back home.” Twilight said.

I thought about it for a moment before I shook my head. No reason in terrifying them with multiverse theory and all that. “I apologize Twilight, but there are some things I know that might terrify you all.”

“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad.” Rainbow Dash said with a dismissive wave of her hand, which caused her to slap herself in the face due to her terrible coordination.

I knew they would probably pester me the entire time now that I could actually talk, so I decided to give them the basics. “It’s like I said, a man whom I believe was called the Seller or something sent me to Equestria after I purchased my stone medal and kryptonite ring for a cheap price. I somehow fell unconscious and woke up in the Everfree forest.”

“oh… Well, don’t worry Bizarro. I’m sure the princesses can get you home.” Twilight said.

“Yeah. You’ll see yer mama Lex soon ‘nough. I know it.” Applejack said while she was perched on my shoulder.

“Lex Luther isn't my mother, and both he and Superman are males.” I explained.

“Wait… So then, they're yer parents?” Applejack asked.

“Mmmm. Technically they are? It’s a long story.” I told her.

“Wait…" Rarity started to speak, trying to look past her long mane so she could see me. "But that would mean… Bizarro, are you an Amastallion?” Rarity asked.

I cocked an eyebrow as I looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Amastallion, a mythical culture comprised entirely of strong and powerful stallions who are said to live on the other side of Equis. It would explain so much! How strong you are, how powerful the magic caster was, and how both of your parents were stallions! They're such romantic stories, and now it's real!” Rarity exclaimed with glee while Twilight suddenly gained a hungry look for knowledge in her eyes.

So, a gender bent Wonder Woman then. huh. This world gets… more interesting every day.

“Wait, how can two stallions have a foal?” Applejack asked.

“I'm not an Amastallion and, technically, they didn’t have a foal. When I said I was created I meant it literally.” I explained, but as soon as the words left my mouth I noticed something. I was trying to say “Bizarro was created” But instead I said “I was created”.

“Lifhahllheea?” Pinkie Pie spat out.

“Yes, a failed clone.” I explained. Everyone stopped walking behind me as they stared at me with wide eyes.

“A… a c-clone?” Fluttershy asked in her new deep baritone voice. I nodded and allowed them all to process this new revelation.

"No way, you're a clone?!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"Yup." I stated simply.

“Wait, I’ve read about some practices of cloning, but all clones are either temporary or weaker than the original. How are you so strong then?” Twilight asked.

“It’s because…. Because… *sigh* Screw it, it’s because Superman is, in every sense of the word, an Alien.” I explained. “When I told you that Krypton blew up I meant the Planet, Krypton, blew up.” All of them gasped in horror at this new revelation of news. Whether that was because I told them Superman was an alien or because an entire species died was unclear to me. Although, judging by Pinkie Pie’s deflating mane I would have to guess it was the latter for her.

“That… that can’t be true.” Trixie said as she stared at me with tears in her eyes.

“It is true. Superman, or rather Kal-El, was born on Krypton a year or so before Brainiac, an Artificial Intelligence designed to help the planet, either blew Krypton up or didn't warn the Kryptonian's about an apocalyptic natural disaster that would destroy the planet. Kal-El’s parents, Jor-El and Lara, knew of the impending doom and tried to warn their fellow Kryptonians. But they were ignored, so Jor-El went to work on a spaceship that could get far, far away. However, he was short on time and could only make one ship that could save his son.

“As the planet was exploding, Jor-El and Lara sent him away on a spaceship to another planet inhabited by a species that looked identical to Kryptonians so he could blend in and live a normal life. There, he changed his name to Clark Kent after being adopted by John Kent and Martha Kent and raised on a farm in a town called Smallville. Years later he moved to a city called Metropolis and created the persona of Superman to be a hero.”

“Like… Like a super hero?” Rainbow Dash asked, bewildered by what I had just told her.

“Yes, and I’ll talk about it later. But for now, my skull feels like it’s about to give birth to a Xenomorph and I’d really like to go to Zecora’s to get a remedy made.” I told them as I turned around and began to walk towards the sound of faint chanting in the distance.

As we were nearing the exotic and rhythmic sounds we came across the demon flowers that caused this whole mess. In a moment of absolute rage I used my fire breath on them to incinerate them all. Everypony with me was completely slack jawed by the sight of my fire breath but didn’t say a word while we were walking.

“ith thpth thiyt?” Pinkie Pie… Asked? As we came across a literal tree house, similar to Twilight’s abode back in Ponyville.

Zecora’s house was carved into the tree and used the roots underneath to keep the tree house raised slightly above the ground. The roots of the tree were absolutely coated in moss, mushrooms, and a few species of insects that traversed the mossy wood. The tree branches at the top were still covered in leaves which told me that this tree, much like Twilight’s, was somehow miraculously alive despite being hollowed out.

Several vines and bottles attached to ropes were hung from the tree branches like clothing on a laundry line. And, most noticeably of all, was a green and red mask that hung over the door that reminded me of African Art back on Earth. It was some type of green bull or cow with red eyes, green horns, and a snout with two angular holes for the eyes. All in all, this house looked otherworldly and magical to me, which was somewhat ironic since it actually reminded me of Earth.

It reminded me of the little Fairy Village on Macworth Island in Falmouth, Maine, that I used to visit when we went to see our relatives. It was just a small area tucked to the side of the trail where kids could build tiny houses out of twigs and sticks for friaries to live in. Not all of the designs were practical, and only half of the small houses had roofs. But all of them were so imaginative and creative to look at.

It felt like an actual fairy village with all the unique and beautiful houses that the children made. Let it be known that when a child’s mind runs with no limitations, children can make some of the most magical things ever.

“What a lovely home.” I remarked truthfully with a warm smile on my face.

“Really? What does it look like? I can’t see it.” Rarity asked.

“Ith thouks thethfil. Thpfbeeethle.~” Pinkie Pie remarked.

I ignored whatever Pinkie Pie was trying to say as I walked up to the door and gently rapped my knuckles on the hard wooden door which appeared to be made of a different type of wood than the rest of the tree. After a bit of shuffling inside, Zecora opened the door with a gleeful smile on her face.

“Ah, hello Bizarro, I had a feeling I’d meet you later today. It seems the Poison Joke affected you all in some strange way. How have you been faring after meeting a plant so uncaring?”

“I’m doing adequately. I would be even better if I didn’t have a horrible headache, but aside from that I can’t really complain. Especially since the others were affected in ways that could cause irreversible damage if they aren’t fixed soon. However, I believe you might be able to rectify out current situation. After everypony apologizes.” I said before shooting a look at everypony behind me as they all held their heads down in shame and apologized. I was actually surprised to see Trixie apologizing too since, as far as I knew, she didn’t really do or say anything bad.

“Your apologies I accept, however could you perhaps help me make my remedy perfect?” Zecora asked.

“How can we help?” Twilight asked in response.

“I see you have a few ingredients with you, but there are a few that and I will need more to make due. There are some that can be found in Ponyville stores, but when I go there everypony closes their doors." Zecora said.

"Oh, well we can help with that then. Thank you Zecora." Twilight said.

We spent the next few hours gathering the rest of the ingredients and convincing the citizens of Ponyville that Zecora wasn't an evil witch that came to steal their foals. Pinkie Pie made sure to tell off some Mare named Daisy for breaking her Pinkie Promise when she said she was telling the truth. For some reason, the idea of anypony willingly breaking that promise sent a cold shiver down my spine.

Once we got everything gathered we were able to use one of the tubs in the a Ponyville Spa to soak in. I would have preferred getting separate tubs but that would have taken too long and I was desperate to get rid of my severe headache. So, all the girls and I changed into bathing suits, mine being made by Rarity, as we soaked in the tub. It wasn't much but it was able to cover everything up to my knees, something that I couldn't say for the others whose swimsuits left very little to the imagination. While we were entering the tub I noticed that they all had tattoos on their thighs.

Trixie was sporting a tattoo that looked exactly like the one that was on the flag of her wagon, Applejack had three apples, Twilight had some elongated purple star surrounded by five smaller white stars, Rainbow Dash had a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt protruding out of it, Pinkie Pie had three balloons, Fluttershy had three pink butterflies, and Rarity had three blue Diamonds. I wasn't sure why they had tattoos there, but I decided not to pry since I'd have to admit I was staring at their thighs.

An awkward silence filled the room as each of our respective ailments slowly went away. Applejack was the first as she returned to her normal size in another room. Even though she was cured, she joined the rest of us in the main tub after changing into her own swim suit. Next was Rarity as her hair started to fall out but left enough for her normal mane size. The rest of the order went Trixie, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and.... Pinkie...

"OHMYGOSH!IT'SSOOOOGOODTOTALKAGAIN!Youguyshavenoideahowbaditwas,wellexceptmaybeyou,Bizarro,butnottalkingwashorrible!Ohthere'ssomuchIneedtosaylike,'eat plenty of cupcakes' and, 'Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie.' and 'How did you breath fire earlier?' now that's a doozy of a question, huh?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Now I barely understood half'a that, but I did hear the last one. Would ya mind explainin' how ya did that Bizarre?" Applejack asked me.

"Yes, could you be a dear and explain it? I'm sure we're all curious." Rarity added.

My shoulders slumped lower into the tub as they all looked at me for an answer. "That am part of Bizarro power from Superman. Remember Bizarro say me am perfect imperfect clone of Superman?" I asked.

"I remember you said you were a clone, but what do you mean by 'perfect imperfect'? That sounds contradictory." Twilight asked me.

"Bizarro am opposite of Superman. Superman am have cold breath, me am have fire breath. He am have laser eyes, me have ice eyes. So, me am perfect imperfect clone." I told them.

"So then you were made his opposite on purpose?" Rainbow Dash asked.

“No. That am mistake Luthor make. Bizarro am uns... unstab... unstobe... Bizarro am made bad. Me was made to be weapon against Superman, but Bizarro am more than that. Bizarro am not gun.” I said, quoting the Iron Giant and his beliefs. In a way, Bizarro was just like the Iron Giant, a weapon that didn’t know any better until he got friends.

“Well, I’m not sure what a gun is, but I know you’re not a bad Stallion, Bizarro.” Twilight told me.

“So, what else can you do?” Trixie asked.

"Me am fly and be strong. Bizarro can't do much else." I admitted, not wanting to get into my Telescope vision, super smell, super hearing, and all of that other stuff.

"So then flying is a natural ability then?" Twilight asked in a surprised tone.

"Yes. Gravy-Tea am light for Bizarro, so me am fly." I explained. A few hairs pooped out of place in Twilight's mane as she stared at me with wide eyes.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" She yelled. "You don't have any propulsion to keep you in the air, and it's not magic because you're allergic to it. At most a lowered gravity would make you jump higher but flying makes no sense!"

For the first time in my life, I silently cursed comic book logic for placing me in this awkward situation.

Author's Note

Art by ohohokapi

Breaking Bizarre Laws.

BIZARRO POV

When the new wagon was finally finished Trixie leapt for absolute joy at the prospect of preforming with me in Canterlot, especially with my new custom suit that Rarity made for me. At the moment, I was still wearing my Goon outfit that I had bought a few days ago over my Bizarro costume. Something I noticed in this world was that Ponies rarely, if ever, changed their clothes, mainly because a simple magic spell can instantly clean your favorite shirt so you never have to wash it. Trixie was able to help me out by cleaning my clothes whenever I took them off, but didn't use magic on them if I was wearing them.

After the whole dragon fiasco and then her almost turning me into a teacup after touching some Poison Joke, Trixie had become more careful around me whenever she used her magic. Every time she would use a levitation spell or something small like that she would always look back to make sure she was a safe distance away from me. It didn't really matter though seeing as how I was only severely affected by weak traces of magic around me when the sun was blocked out. So, as long as she didn't fire a magic laser at me, levitate me, or teleport me I'd be fine.

Anyway, the new wagon wasn’t too different from the one Trixie and I arrived in. The yellows and reds were a bit brighter, the wagon smelled like pure pine trees, and it had a new space distortion enchantment on it, but aside from that it looked and felt pretty much the same.

After a few heartfelt goodbyes, good wishes, and one very tear-filled Pinkie Pie goodbye, Trixie and I made our way into the Everfree Forest towards Canterlot. With any luck the two princesses would be able to send me back home with their magic. If they could move the sun and the moon, then I could only imagine that they were powerful enough to rip holes in space and time… hopefully.

It was a nice and quiet trip, but when we set up camp later that day I came across something that shouldn’t exist at ALL in this world.

Sitting on the ground near a bush where I was about to do my business was, I shit you not (no pun intended), a genuine Lightsaber.

It was a black and silver cylindrical handle with a few nobs that adjusted the power and the length of the blade. The pommel of the blade had a small metal ring attached to it, likely for hooking onto its user. There was also an engraving of a crescent moon carved into the handle near one of the aforementioned nobs.

As I reached down and grabbed the weapon a familiar deep and menacing voice rang out inside my mind.

“I am Darth Vader. I am the Sith Lord of the Crystal Empire and Griffonstone, Slayer of the false Changeling Queen, husband of Nightmare Moon, Sith Master to the Elements of Harmony, and teacher to the Prodigy Padawans, Spike the Dark Dragon and Twilight the Night Terror. Should you require my aid simply call upon me and I will assist you. However, if you plan to manipulate me and use me to attack those with kindness and purity in their hearts, I will cut you down. You have been warned. So says Darth Vader, the one true Sith Lord of Terra.”

As the message finally finished playing, I grabbed my head as my headache started to die down.

Holy shit Darth Vader is real… And I have his Lightsaber?!

I immediately dropped the weapon and backed away several feet as if the Light Saber was infected with the plague, which it technically was to me. I did not want to be seen holding Darth Vader’s Lightsaber, especially since he would come looking for it. Having his property in my hands when he arrived wouldn't be a death wish, it would be suicide.

My heart pounded in my chest as I desperately filled my lungs with air. As I was having my mini panic attack over the prospect of being hunter down by a real life Sith Lord, I began to think about what he had said. He claimed to be the Sith Lord of someplace called The Crystal Empire and Griffonstone. I had no idea what the heck Griffonstone was, but I remembered the Empire from the first Equestria Girls movie. I remembered that somepony named Candy or something was the ruler, not Darth Vader.

He also said that he was a good guy. Well, at least he alluded to being a kind person, and he even claimed to be Spike and Twilight’s teacher at some point, along with being the master of something called the Elements of Harmony. It was weird though, neither Spike or Twilight ever once mentioned the Sith Lord. I also had no idea what the heck an Element of Harmony was, but it sounded good, even if they were being used by a Sith Lord. And he said he wouldn’t hurt anyone who was kind or pure of heart, something that I never thought someone like him would say.

However, some other parts also stuck with me. Firstly, he married someone named Nightmare Moon, who just by the name alone sounded like a cliché villain. Secondly, he also apparently killed a Queen of someplace called Changeling, and last time I checked killing a Queen was something only a villain would do. And, on a more minor note, he also gave his Padawans really menacing names, something that didn't really scream "good guy" to me.

"Me am have bad feeling about this..." I muttered under my breath.

Despite the war of thoughts and ideas raging inside my mind, I decided to throw caution to the wind and see if I could reason with a temperamental Sith Lord. Genius, I know.

I hesitantly reached for the weapon and picked it back up, the coldness of the handle chilled me to the bone but also gave me a small sense of hope as it that meant it wasn't used in a while, so maybe he would be grateful I found it if he lost it. I assumed that the Lightsaber had some kind of mind link to Darth Vader and attempted to call out to him.

“Um… Hello? Bizarro am find sword. You want back?” I asked out-loud. Suddenly a blue colored portal opened up a few feet away from me allowing what should have been the Dark Lord of all things terrifying and evil to use. But that’s not what came out.

What came out instead was the inanimate mummified corpse of someone wearing the tattered and destroyed remains of a silver and black moon themed version of Darth Vader’s armor that fell to the ground with a loud thud.

It appeared to be missing it’s left arm and a good chunk of its torso. The right hand was gripped tightly around a Lightsaber that looked identical to the one in my hand. His left leg was bent at an unnatural angle, allowing the circuits and bones to poke through his armor. What little remained of his cape was burned to a crisp and was only long enough to partially cover his exposed back, allowing me to see the gaping hole that tore through his torso.

His corpse was covered in a thick layer of red rust and ash that smelled like pure sulfur. The husks of dried up maggots clung to his decrepit skin like fleas, the only ones that moved were the maggots that fell off of the corpse when it hit the ground. However, the most terrifying detail was his mask.

The left side of the face plate was completely destroyed, allowing me to see the mummified skull of Darth Vader underneath with a look of pure fear evident on what was left of his face. Right on top of his helmet, written in a sinister shade of red, was the word “Deleted”. It sent a shiver down my spine when I saw that. I didn’t even question how I was able to read the single word on his helmet as I backed away in fear.

Somepony… No, someone or something did that to Darth Vader, the most badass villain in history. And it defiled his corpse with that ominous word written in blood red letters on his helmet. I had never felt more sickened in my life as I vomited from both the stench and the horrifying sight in front of me, the fresh sting of my vomit burned the back of my throat as I inhaled lung-fulls of air. My eyes began to water as I felt another surge of vomit crawl up my throat, I could do nothing but let my body react and fall to all fours as I gagged and vomited again.

I looked back at the corpse with sheer horror in my eyes. My grip tightened around the Lightsaber in my hands but didn’t ignite it as I was waiting for whatever killed Darth Vader to suddenly appear too. However, the portal closed and I was left alone with an inanimate corpse.

I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at the body as I listened to the forest around me. Every twig snap, every cricket, every soft growl, every single noise in the forest made me jump as I prepared for the worst to happen. But surprisingly, and almost unsettlingly, nothing else happened after the portal closed.

After what felt like a millennium, I finally started to calm down and looked back at the corpse. Even if he was one of the evilest characters in fiction, I couldn’t help but feel sad for him. The Darth Vader I heard sounded… Nice? No, that wasn't it, he was authoritative and fearsome. But, he also sounded powerful and brave, like an inspiring leader who I could follow into battle without hesitation.

As I finally collected my thoughts and calmed down, I looked back at the body with a mixture of sadness and sickness building up inside of me until I decided to dig a hole and give him a proper burial. The idea of burning the body ran through my mind but I quickly dismissed that thought, I felt like he deserved a proper burial.

Digging a hole near the roots of a healthy tree, I walked over to the body and covered it's face with my brown leather jacket. After lifting the body up ever so gingerly I set him down in the six-foot hole and buried him along with my jacket. I didn’t dare look at his face again.

As the final bit of dirt covered his unmarked grave, I took off my Flat cap and said a short prayer for the villain who I just buried. I’m not entirely sure why I did it, but it felt right to put his body to rest.

The thought of giving him the Lightsaber in my hand appeared in my thoughts quickly, but vanished as soon as it arrived. The way it felt to me was similar to my stone medallion and Kryptonite ring. It felt… Safe. Like I could not only protect myself, but protect others as well. I hung it on my belt and threw away my boxers. Needless to say, I didn’t need to use a bush after that.

The fire for our small camping spot danced with the wind, letting me see the silhouette of Trixie holding a marshmallow on a stick over the fire. I silently joined her with my own marshmallow, letting the flames of the fire burn my marshmallow before I popped it in my mouth. I didn’t tell Trixie anything that happened while I was away in the bushes and she didn’t ask. She did notice my lack of a brown leather jacket but didn’t seem to want to comment on it after she saw the look on my face. My mind was plagued with thoughts about Darth Vader’s corpse. Instantly I thought of my own situation and how I was sent to Equestria as Bizarro.

Was there another human sent here as Darth Vader? But if there was another human, why did nopony talk about him? The Dark Lord isn’t someone you just ignore and don’t bring up. I’ve heard so much about Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, so why didn’t I hear a peep about him? More importantly, what killed him and why did that portal just appear in the air when I tried to contact him?

So many questions raced through my mind, and yet not a single answer presented itself. At that moment, more than ever, I needed to find a way home.

Thankfully, nothing of note happened for the rest of the trip to Canterlot, which we finished much more quickly due to me using a moderate amount of my super speed to pull the wagon through the day and through several nights. I wanted to get away from the forest, away from the corpse, and away from my thoughts and fears. The show we’d perform in Canterlot would be a great way to distract my mind. At least for a little while.

It was around rush hour when we arrived in Canterlot and set up in front of one of the fountains near the castle. A few “commoners” or as I liked to call them, normal ponies were gathered around, probably expecting Trixie’s wagon to sell them something or other. A few nobles also gathered around, but I had a strong feeling that it was because they had nothing better to do.

Pressing the release button inside Trixie’s new wagon a stage twice the size of the previous one erupted from its cramped compartment as Trixie began her grandiose speech.

“COME ONE. COME ALL. AND WITNESS THE AMAZING MAGIC OF THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL. TRRRRIIXIE!” Trixie exclaimed as the stage finished setting itself up, she then used a flash bomb to appear in the center of the stage. I asked why she didn't teleport into the smoke, and she told me the reason was that teleportation makes a very distinctive popping sound that the audience would be able to hear. It would also take away from the dramatic flare of her performance if the crowd knew what she did, so she uses the smoke to fake a different type of teleportation, silenced teleportation; An immensely difficult spell that very few unicorns can actually pull off.

“And her lovely assistant, Bizzzzzarro!“ She yelled, giving me my cue to step out.

A puff of green smoke erupted in front of the curtain and I stepped out from behind after Trixie introduced me. I was wearing some rather nice clothes that I helped Rarity design back in Ponyville. When I had suggested the idea of combining orange and purple to Rarity she called it, “Surprisingly stunning.” and said that it would go nicely with my chalk skin and black hair.

I was wearing a bright orange waistcoat over a dark green dress shirt. Over that, I was also wearing a purple stripped tailcoat with matching pants, a black formal tie, a pair of bright purple gloves, and a sleek pair of black dress shoes. My left breast pocket had a yellow sunflower with Bizarro’s signature reverse superman symbol stitched onto the seeds of the flower. All in all, I looked like buff version of the classic comic book Joker without the green hair or lipstick. And I have to say, after seeing how some of the Nobles were dressed, I was certain that I was one of the sharpest dressers there.

As I stepped out onto the stage next to Trixie I could feel the judging glares the Noble Stallions were giving me as the Noble Mares were staring at me with wide eyes and mouths agape.

“Watch in awe as The Great and Powerful Trixie and her lovely assistant, Bizarro, preform the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by Pony eyes!” Trixie exclaimed as she set off the fireworks display behind her. And unfortunately, just like in Ponyville, nopony batted an eye at the pyrotechnics.

We weren’t just going to rely on those to woo the audience thankfully, since Trixie had a ton of new tricks she wanted to show off. Twilight was kind enough to special order a book on performance tricks as a parting gift for Trixie before we left, so we had a fully stocked arsenal ready for the unsuspecting Nobles of Canterlot.

As we were preparing to preform our next trick a group of white and grey ponies wearing golden Roman armor with blue plumes and spears were led by a white unicorn stallion with blonde hair and blue eyes wearing a black tuxedo. He looked about as muscular as Big Mac, and maybe even a bit taller than him too, but only if someone were to account his horn into his height.

“Peasant. Do you have license to be doing this… Whatever it is here?” The blonde stallion asked in a posh, higher than thou tone.

“License? Trixie has never needed license to perform in Canterlot before. Why would she need one now?” Trixie questioned.

“Well, starting today all commoners are required to get the proper papers and certificates to ‘perform’ as you said. If you do not have permission than either pay a penalty fee or be whisked away to the Dungeons for trial.” He said.

“T-the dungeons?!” Trixie said as she hid behind me.

“Whoa, whoa. We am be reason able. There am no need for bars.” I said as I held up my hands in a calming gesture, hoping to reason with the white unicorn.

“If you don’t have the papers or the bits then you must serve you sentence, filthy commoner. Guards!” ThesStallion said as he snapped his fingers. Suddenly, all of the guards were pointing their spears at us as two guards approached with handcuffs and one approached with a horn suppressor.

“By order of Prince Blueblood you have now been placed under arrest. Any attempts to flee or avoid arrest will be met with hostile force.” The guard approaching with my handcuffs warned.

“But we am do no wrong.” I said in our defense as he clamped the shackles around my wrists.

“Um, excuse me ma’am, could you please put on this suppressor ring?” One of the guards asked Trixie as he gave her puppy dog eyes. Trixie rolled her eyes and did as she was told.

“Guards, take them away and impound this hideous wagon.” The stallion, whom I assumed was Prince Blueblood, said.

“Hideous?! Trixie’s wagon is beautiful you pompous prick!” Trixie yelled as she was then lifted in somepony else’s magic after lunging towards the white stallion in question.

Trixie’s outburst didn’t seem to sit well with the supposed Prince, as he decided to glare at her. “You will hold your tongue commoner! Once my Aunty comes back she will punish you severely for insulting me.”

“Oooohhh. Your ‘Aunty’ will come. Trixie is quivering in her luxurious and magnificent purple high heels.” Trixie responded. The Prince's hateful gaze soon morphed into a sadistic type of smug joy as he peered at Trixie.

“Oh yes. My aunt, Princess Celestia, should make you very scared.” The Prince said smugly. Trixie immediately paled as she realized who she just insulted as we were escorted towards the dungeons.

Now, I know what many people will ask, why didn’t I break out? I could very easily do it too since they were made from aluminum. While aluminum was a great material to block earth pony magic and unicorn magic, it couldn't do squat to a guy like me. So, I could have probably fought back, but they had magic and it hurt like a bitch when ponies used it on me. Not to mention punching a guard probably wouldn't be the smartest move if I wanted to to be in the princesses' good graces when I asked them if I could go home. Though getting locked up wouldn't really help me with that goal either.

I didn't know why the hell magic hurt so much, it never did this to Superman in the comics. Then again, I'm different than him in more ways than just being Bizarro. For example, I don't think I was as strong or as fast as the real Superman, at best I could break Titanium and travel slightly faster than the speed of sound. Now that's nothing to idly sneeze at, it was still incredibly awesome by human standards, but it was still nowhere near the strength and speed of Superman since he could benchpress the planet and reverse its rotation. And, worst of all, while bad magic hurt Superman if it was used on him, all magic, even good or passive magic, harmed me in some way. If a simple levitation spell was able to hurt me while I was sick then what could a more dangerous spell do to me? It was a question that I never wanted to be answered, and hoped never would.

Thankfully I still had my Kryptonite Ring Box tucked away in my tail coat, so if it came to a fight I might be able to use it. I knew that green Kryptonite made Ultraman stronger on Earth 3 in the comics, but I wasn't sure if it was the same for Bizarro. I mean, I don't think blue kryptonite made Superman stronger, so it probably wouldn't do much for me. Even so, it was worth a shot if it could possibly help us out in a pinch.

The rest of my things, mainly my Lightsaber, I’ll definitely never gonna get used to that, and stone medallion were locked inside the wagon. I wasn’t too worried about my medallion because for all intense purposes it was just a rock with my new name on it.

The Lightsaber however, that at least looked appealing, even if nopony knew what it was. And if they actually found out how to work one of those things… Well, I really didn’t want to test my invincibility against a blade made of hot plasma. But, I did a pretty good job of hiding it away in my belongings, I don’t think even Trixie knew I had it.

As we were led through the streets in handcuffs and a horn suppressor, many of the Nobles and other ponies were looking at us with either interest or hate filled glares. The Mares stared at me with interest while the Stallions glared at me and the opposite happened for Trixie. I almost felt naked with so many people looking at me with their judgmental eyes. But I couldn’t just blow them all away with super breath. That is if I even have that. What would the opposite be? Would it be breathing in? It would probably be something stupid like that.

I was able to test out some powers while in the Everfree Forest, such as using Fire Breath for starting our campfires and using my Telescope vision to see behind my while I pulled the Wagon. The latter power wasn't too useful and was actually quiet disorienting to use while walking. I tried to think of every time that power could be useful, and I could only think of using it to prevent sneak attacks. But even then, my super hearing did a better job of warning me because I could hear in all directions. And I could hear everypony talking at that moment. Dozens of voices filled my head as I heard judgmental conversations about me and Trixie.

"He's repulsive."

"Look at those filthy commoners."

"Ugh. That mare is dressed awfully."

"Street urchins."

"Hopefully Princess Celestia will punish them."

"Look at those bafoons."

"Did you hear that that mare insulted the princess?"

"They'll be shown their place."

The hushed comments continued as we were escorted towards the castle and taken to a side entrance that led into the dungeons. Despite being a dungeon, it actually looked pretty nice. It wasn't a five star hotel or anything but it was clean, had decent lighting, and had a red shag carpet lining the floor of each cell.

Trixie and I were placed into two cells across from each other at the far end of the dungeon with a guard stationed outside of each of our cells. My guard was a white unicorn stallion while Trixie's was a grey earth pony stallion. Another thing that I noticed was that the dungeon was surprisingly empty. Besides the two guards, the dungeons didn't have anypony in them. There were no criminals down here except for us, and even we didn't really even classify as criminals.

Each of our cells were nearly identical. Red shag carpets lined the floor, in the right corner of each cell was a comfortable looking bed, and... and... And there was something important missing.

"Um, guard. Where am potty?" I asked the guard who was standing at my cell.

"Oh, if you need to go now then you'll have to wait. Bathroom time isn't for another ten minutes." He told me.

Bathroom time... So we need to go to another room to use a bathroom. I'm glad nopony is going to stare at me while I'm using the toilet, but this is just demeaning. I'm a fully grown man, not a child! Even if I do say the word Potty. God damn Bizarro speak.

"Here's your harmonica sir." The white unicorn guard offered. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he held the musical instrument towards me.

“Bizarro am get Harmonic?” I asked skeptically.

“Of course. You’re criminals, not Prisoners.” The guard said with a dismissive wave of his hand. That… made no sense to me. But, deciding not to look a Gift horse, or in this instance Gift pony in the mouth I shrugged and just took the harmonica to my seat. I played a few notes by blowing into it as I tested out my musical talent with this body.

“Does Trixie get an instrument?” She asked.

“Sorry, that there’s our only harmonica. All the criminals have to share that one.” The guard said. I instantly removed the harmonica from my lips and started rubbing whatever germs were on my mouth off.

"Ummmm, you do clean it, right?" Trixie asked my guard.

"DOH! I knew there was something I forgot to do. Sorry, I'm a little klutzy." The guard responded as I was still trying to clean off my lips with my sleeve. I didn't want any magic germs or something to get on me because of a mistake a stupid guard made.

“Guard. Am Princess Celestia going to visit?” I asked, hoping that we could just explain the situation to her and get the hell out of this funhouse of a dungeon. From what Twilight told me, Princess Celestia was a very understanding pony and always does what she thinks is right.

“Not today. Usually she meets all the new law breakers, but she went down to Ponyville for some business.” My guard said.

I just stared at the guard wide eyed. “…..What?” I asked.

“Yeah, apparently she needed to head there for some urgent business or something.”   He told me.

"You're serious?!" Trixie yelled.

"Yup. She should be back a little later tonight or tomorrow morning." The Guard at Trixie's cell replied.

.... Nothing....

I could say nothing to that. All I could do was walk over to the nearest wall in my cell and count how many times I hit my head against it till the pain went away.

Smack. “One…” Smack. “Two…” Smack. “Pineapple…” Smack. “Four…” Smack. “Seven...”

“You alright there?” The guard stationed at my cell asked.

“Yup. Bizarro am just trying learn numbers. Elephant…” Smack. "Seven again..." Smack.

Trixie tried to tell me to stop hitting the wall with my face but her pleas fell on deaf, super-hearing, ears. I’m not sure how long I banged my head on the wall for, but when I finally stoped there was a deep imprint of my face engraved into the wall of my cell. If I continued, I could have accidentally Saw Shank Redemptioned myself out of the dungeon with my face alone.

I turned towards my bars to see that three more guards had apparently joined the other two and were all watching me intently. Something of note was that they were all stallions with white or grey skin. The only differences between them were their heights, eye color, and the fact that they were either a unicorn, earth pony, or pegasus. As I was looking at them they exchanged bags of bits between each other.

“Told ya he’d make it over an hour.” The tallest of the guards said, who appeared to reach my chin. He was a large grey skinned pegasus in a slightly darker gold version of their guard armor. He was larger than the average stallion, he looked strong like Big Mac and that Prince Blueblood guy, but still paled in comparison to Snowflake. Hell, I paled in comparison to Snowflake. The guy has muscles on muscles.

"Are you ok, Bizarro?" Trixie asked from across the hall as she stifled a yawn.

"Bizarro am good. Am just needed to get anger out." I told her.

"By hittin' yer head against a wall?" The tall pegasus guard asked.

I shrugged as I grabbed my bars and looked at him. "We all am have ways of cope."

"Geez. Yer denser than lead if that's yer way O' copin'. Though, I guess it could'a been werse, ya could'a balled yer eyes out like one'a these bitches." He said as he pointed to the guards, much to their chagrin.

"Oi, don't look at me like that. You all know that we're jus some eye candy for the mares in charge. Not my fault you were all raised ta be so prissy and needy." He told the guards.

"Eye candy?" I asked.

"Yeah, JaneFillies like you an' me get the job done, while prissy lil' Colty Stallions like them jus stand around an' look pretty. But, unlike them an' you, I'm brain, brawn, badflank, and sexy~." He bragged as he struck a confident pose.

This whole situation just felt like it was getting weirder and weirder by the moment. I didn't understand anything this guy said. What the hell is a Jane filly? Is that like a Mary Sue or something?

The grey earth pony guard at Trixie's cell scoffed. "Please, Roid Rage. Mares may say they like a Bad Colt, but we all know when it comes time to find a herd or a partner, you're going to be plumb out of luck."

"Oi, buck you too Marble Toss. Ya know I ain't inta mares anyway. Nah, I'll settle down with a griffon or somethin'. Over there the lasses have the nicest asses." Roid Rage responded as he cupped his hands as if he were holding something round.

"There am griffons?" I asked. I honestly thought there were only ponies and dragons in this weird world of make believe.

"Yeah, me pa was a griffon, and a right tough bastard too, not like these lil Colty Stallions. Not a single strong bone in their body. What about you? Raised by dragons or somethin'?"

"No, me am raised by smarty stallion. Though, he am not have much time for Bizarro... Me no think he like Bizarro..." I said dejectedly. My dad always put his work before me when I was younger, and I could never live up to his expectations. It didn't help that our moral beliefs were worlds apart. I thought family should come first, and he clearly thought money and work should come first. I guess Bizarro and I have something in common since his dad was a prick too.

"Then how'd ya end up so tough? I don't even know a Mare who could carve their face into a wall with their head. Well, cept fer Tough Love, but she's more demon than mare."

"Bizarro just am." I responded simply.

After a few more minutes of Roid Rage bragging and talking about himself, he and the other new guards left, leaving me and Trixie with the two guards who were still stationed outside our cells. With nothing else better to do except wait and try to make idle chit chat with either the guards or Trixie, I took a nap to rest my mind. It wasn't too hard to pass out like a drunken sailor, apparently hitting my head against a wall for an hour took more out of me than I originally thought.

My sleep was peaceful and quiet for the most part. Just like every other night I didn't have a single dream, which was a bit odd for me. I didn't remember my dreams often back home but I knew when I had them or not. And to go for nearly two and a half weeks without dreaming was a bit disconcerting to me.

I was eventually roused from my dreamless slumber from something poking my chest. I swatted the thing away with my hand unconsciously as I tried to sleep.

"Mommy~. It Saturday, Bizarro am no have school.~" I said in a groggy voice as the persistent poking continued.

"Get the buck up bitch!" A new mare yelled at me. Looking up from my bed I saw a grey skinned Mare with a blue mane, two large batwings, and a pair of golden slitted eyes poking me with the back end of a spear like a zoo animal. I noticed she was wearing a purple variant of the armor I saw the Stallions wearing, but hers also looked more heavily armored to protect herself and covered more of her body than the Stallion armor. I thought that she must have been one of the higher ups if she had better armor. "Princess Sunny Disposition just got back and she wants to see you two." The new guard told me.

I instantly got up off of the bed at the mention of a princess, I quickly glanced around the room to make sure I had everything, which was pointless because I only had the clothes on my back in my dungeon cell. After that, I followed her out of my cell door.

"Am Trick come too?" I asked after I noticed Trixie was still sleeping in her cell.

"Another guard will come for her a bit later to inform her about her property. In the meantime, your flank is going to talk to Princess Sunshine. Lucky you." She commented dryly as she led me up the stairs and out of the dungeons.

I was somewhat weary about following this guard, mainly because I didn't know who she was taking me to, Twilight never mentioned a Princess Sunny Disposition or Princess Sunshine. I wondered if they could have been Celestia's daughters or something, but I realized that Twilight would have probably mentioned if she had any children.

"So, who am Princess Sunny Position and Sunshine?" I asked.

"Princess Luna's older sister. We have to serve Luna and her sister.... Unfortunately." She grumbled out.

"Wait. Me thought Princess Celestia am Princess Luna's sister."

"She is. It's a running joke in the Night Guard to call her Sunny Disposition or Sunshine. We used to call her Molestia for a bit, but a new law was placed so it would be illegal to insult the princesses." She told me.

"That... am sound like abuse of power." I replied. She scoffed in response.

"Damn Straight! It was all Sunny and Lovey-Dovey's idea. Although, at least this stops the dumbflank stallion Day Guards from calling Princess Luna Nightmare Moon or something stupid like that."

I didn't understand how that insult related to Princess Luna, but I decided to nod as if I understood. "True. So at least that am good."

"Yeah. Still wouldn't mind punching some of those Solar 'guards' though. I know it's wrong to hit a stallion but when they keep pushing and pushing you just want to punch them right in the face!" She yelled as her grip on her spear tightened.

"Sorry, about that. I'm sure you're an alright stallion. It's manly the Solar 'guards'. They don't do anything except-"

"Be eye candy?"

"EXACTLY! Only a few of them like that Shinning Armor guy are decent at their job. The rest of them are a couple of Brotherlies. I swear, they could all be taken down by one mare armed with nothing more than a butter knife and a kitten." She scoffed.

She continued to rant about how much better the Night Guard was because they had more mares working in it. I'll be honest, I learned a lot from her rant, including a few things that should have been pretty obvious to me. Mainly that the gender roles and stereotypes that went along with them on Earth were flipped on Equis. I would have beaten myself up more for not noticing sooner, but because of my "JaneFilly" friends, Big Mac and Snowflake, I thought that gender roles were pretty normal here. Turns out, that couldn't be farther from the truth for ponies. Mares apparently outnumbered stallions about seven to one, leading Mares to take up more serious professions like guards, doctors, nurses, and construction workers, while the stallions, "Stayed in the kitchen."

This also explained why everypony in Ponyville doubted that I could beat Rainbow Dash in an arm wrestle. For me to beat a mare like Rainbow Dash would be the equivalent of a child beating a grown adult. It was pretty much a Dystopian Future gender bent 1950's world. At least it wasn't like George Orwell's 1984 or Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. I'll take Gender Bent Dystopian 1950's world over those Dystopian futures any day of the week. It could have been so much worse; this world could have easily been a Gender Bent Handmaid's Tale.

Thank god for small miracles. Speaking of miracles...

The pony, whom I learned was a thestral named Miracle Star, led me to a giant pair of golden doors that had two stallions, both white earth ponies, stationed outside of it.

Next to the large doors were several stained-glass windows depicting artistic representations of either real events or religious stories. The newest stained-glass window showed a group of six colorful silhouettes under a dark figure that was surrounded by a circular rainbow. There were two pegasi, one yellow and the other blue, two unicorns, one purple and the other white, and two earth ponies who were pink and orange respectively. There were several other stained-glass windows that filled the hallway that depicted scenes of two unicorn silhouettes with wings pointing their horns at the sun and the moon, a group of silhouetted Ponies battling a red centaur, and the black silhouette of a unicorn stallion attacking a giant blue colored castle under a large dome. I didn't have much time to interpret the symbolism behind the artwork since the doors began to open slowly, signaling me and Miracle to enter the Throne room.

As we entered the Throne room I saw the Equestrian Girls character, Principle Celestia, sitting on a large red velvet and gold throne which sat atop a dias that raised it about five feet off of the ground.

The first thing I noticed about this world's Celestia was that she had whiter skin than I did, which was a bit weird because I could have sworn her skin was pink in the cartoon. She was also my height, meaning that like me, she towered over the other ponies, especially with her horn. Her horn was about a foot and a half long and her wings were massive. She was wearing a long flowing white silk dress that had a picture of the sun on the bottom right of her dress, and she wore pair of golden slippers that hugged her feet tightly. Lastly, she was wearing a moderately sized golden tiara with a purple diamond as the centerpiece.

Once we were a few yards away from the throne my guard begrudgingly bowed and I quickly followed suit.

"I've brought the stallion you asked for, Princess Celestia."

"Thank you, my little pony. You may return to your post." Princess Celestia said with a motherly voice. My thestral guard saluted and walked out of the throne room as quickly as she entered.

"So, may I ask your name?" Celestia asked. I took that as an invitation to stand up and explain my situation.

"Hello, me am Bizarro." I said.

"Ah~. So you're this Bizarro character I've heard so much about?" She asked. I raised an eyebrow at her statement.

"You am know me?"

"Yes. My student, Twilight Sparkle, wrote to me about you when you were ill and asked if I knew anything about a pony being allergic to magic. A few hours later she wrote me another letter explaining that somepony used a spell to make you allergic to it. I'm sorry to hear that such a thing had to happen to a kind soul like you."

"Oh... Um, me am thank you Princess." I replied, shuffling nervously in place. I didn't feel too comfortable lying to an actual princess, but at that point I was too deep in the allergy lie to back out. "Bizarro am ok now, but... Bizarro was hoping if you am help?" I asked.

"This is about sending you back to your planet, correct?" She asked in return. I looked at her with an expression of shock clearly written on my face after she said that which seemed to slightly amuse Princess Celestia. "My student also informed me of your other worldly origins. I must say that I find it interesting to know you hail from another planet, I had assumed Equis was the only inhabitable planet left in the universe." She explained.

I shook myself out of my shock induced stupor as I looked up at her. "Yes, me am alien. Can you help Bizarro?" I asked. before holding my hands together to silently beg her for help. Princess Celestia's smile faltered as she looked down at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." She said quietly as she looked away from me.

I stared at her blankly for a bit, completely taken aback since I wasn't expecting such a blunt response. My arms fell to my sides as I continued staring at her. "... Why not?..." I asked in disbelief.

"While I would like to help you in any way, I'm afraid I can't send you home because I don't know how to. The only planet my sister and I have the ability to go to is the moon. And even then, a great amount of magic is needed for that. Even if we knew where your planet was, I'm afraid that the amount of magic needed to send you there may kill you with the allergy spell placed on you. I am truly sorry, my little pony." She finished as she stared down at me with sympathetic eyes.

Once again, I couldn't find any words to properly express the amount of... not pain, but something else. Hopelessness? Grief? I just felt... numb. I had bawled my eyes out like a baby when I found out the bear I punched was a baby, but this sadness, no, this hopelessness was something else. My mind tried to work out what was going on, it tried to accept the reality of what I was told, but it couldn't do it. I felt broken inside.

"I... Me... I—“ I was cut off from my rambling when I heard Trixie scream far away.

"HE DID WHAT?!?!?" I heard Trixie yell, causing me to turn around and look at the doors of the throne room.

"Are you alright Bizarro?" Princess Celestia asked. I turned around and locked eyes with her sympathetic gaze as I responded.

"... Me... Bizarro... No... No it am not..."

TRIXIE POV

BUCK PRINCE BLUEBALLS THE BASTARD!

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but under the Prince's orders we had no choice." The yellow earth stallion told me.

"That was Trixie's property! He had no right to have it destroyed! He thinks it's an eyesore?! Well, the Great and Vengeful Trixie will show him an eyesore after she kicks in his smug face!" I yelled at the stallion.

"W-well I understand that Ma'am, b-but at least your clothes and things are ok."

"HE DESTROYED ALL OF TRIXIE'S PROPS! Now all she has is her and Bizarro's clothes!"

I was about to yell at the stallion more so I could vent out some of my frustration until I heard a teleportation behind me, followed by the sound of Bizarro coughing.

"Oh, I'm sorry Bizarro! I teleport so often that I didn't think about your illness." Princess Celestia said to Bizarro as he recollected herself.

"P-Princess?!" I stammered as I quickly bowed to her royal highness. Princess Celestia walked towards me with her elegant steps hitting the ground with the elegance of a divine god.

"Rise my little pony." Princess Celestia commanded, I followed her order without hesitation. "I'm sorry for the actions of my nephew. If I had any carpenters available, I would commission them to build a new wagon for you, as compensation for my nephew's wrong doings."

"Thank you Princess Celestia. That means a lot to Trixie and Biz—“ I stopped talking as I noticed the vacant expression on Bizarro's face as he looked out the window and stared at the clouds in the sky.

"Um... If it's not too much to ask, can Trixie ask why Bizarro looks so distraught?" I asked Princess Celestia.

Princess Celestia looked uncomfortable with my question as she rubbed her hands nervously. "I'm afraid neither I nor my sister have the ability to send anypony to another planet, especially one we don't know the location of. Even if we could we have no idea if the magic used for the spell would kill Bizarro with his unique condition. I'm afraid we can't help him." Princess Celestia finished as she looked to where Bizarro was standing.

"So.... there's really no hope?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not. The only creature who might be able to do it would be Discord. But even if he could he most likely wouldn't do it out of the kindness of his heart. And then there is still the problem that the magic needed to perform such a spell could kill Bizarro. It's a miracle he survived the spell here." She said.

I took a moment to look back at Bizarro as he continued to stare at the sky. I turned back to Princess Celestia to see her also staring at Bizarro. "Do you think he'll be ok, Princess?"

"Unfortunately, I don't know. I can ask my sister to keep an eye on his dreams, I've never had to tell a pony they couldn't go home before... I can only imagine how he feels..."

"I understand Princess... I think Bizarro and I should go. Thank you for everything, Princess." I said to her as I bowed in respect to the princess of the sun.

"I'm sorry I could not do more. I could have a chariot sent out for you and Bizarro to take you wherever you want." Princess Celestia offered.

I nervously averted my gaze from Princess Celestia as I tried to look anywhere but her direction. "Um, I'm sorry princess. It's just... Trixie has a teeny, tiny.... fearofheights." I blurted out.

"Ah, I understand. Well, I would offer a train ticket, but because of a Parasprite infestation earlier today, the rail road tracks have been seriously damaged and are out of commission for the time being. I'm afraid that if you want to go somewhere the only way is by walking. I'm truly sorry my little ponies."

"Thank you for your generosity and kindness your majesty." I bowed to Princess Celestia once more before going over to Bizarro. We wordlessly collected our remaining belongings, clothes, Bizarro's necklace, and some odd metal cylinder that fell out of one of his pockets. He quickly picked it up and shoved it into the rest of his belongings before he followed me out of the Castle courtyard.

“Stupid stallion Prince. Make Trixie’s wagon spare parts... Stupid.” I grumbled under my breath as I recalled the rude "Prince" who sent Bizarro and I to the dungeons. My anger quickly evaporated and turned into worry as I looked over my shoulder and saw Bizarro's face. He looked completely devoid of any positive emotion, his usually happy smile was completely gone, and the life in his eyes had disappeared without a trace.

“Bizarro, how… Are you ok?” I asked him. Bizarro slowly nodded as he kept his eyes on the ground.

“Bizarro… Bizarro just need time think.” He told me. I nodded as we silently left Canterlot. As we finally left the gates I stopped walking and turned to look at Bizarro.I stopped myself form looking into those sad eyes that just made me want to hug him and tell him everything would be ok.

“Trixie is going to head back to Ponyville in hopes of getting a job so she can buy a new wagon. Do… Do you want to come with me?” I inquired. A small smile made its way across Bizarro's face when I looked at him.

“Bizarro am... Me am like that. Lead way.” He said, before he gestured for me to take the lead. I nodded firmly and trekked into the forest with Bizarro in tow.

The Welcome Wagon, Minus the Wagon.

TWILIGHT POV

I let a yawn escape my lips as I and my tired group of friends, sans Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, were sitting at Sugarcube Corner at the Slumber-damned hour of 11:34 at night. Pinkie Pie had seen it extremely necessary to wake myself, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and myself up and dragged us all over to Sugarcube corner. Fluttershy wasn’t with us as she was apparently lucky enough to not get caught in Pinkie’s antics and enjoy her stay in Princess Luna’s dream realm.

I was nursing a nice cup of tea, allowing me to stay awake but also soothing me enough to the point where I could pass out as soon as I got back home. Applejack on the other hand was drinking a black coffee with apple cinnamon added to it to wake her up and prepare herself for whatever crazy thing Pinkie Pie was planning. Rainbow Dash hadn’t even tried to stay awake as she passed out on the table with a pool of drool slowly building up that was eating away at the pile of napkins I put under her, while Rarity was spending her time crocheting what looked like a white sleeping mask with two fake blue eyes on it, possibly to trick Pinkie Pie into thinking she was awake.

I’ll have to ask if she can make me one. I thought as I took another sip of Celestia praised tea before Pinkie Pie came back inside.

”Alrighty there Pinks, what’re we all doin’ here? It’s late and I needed to get up early and work t'morrow.” Applejack asked Pinkie, who was shaking like a leaf… oh Celestia…

“I’ve got the Shakies, AJ, but like really really Shakey! There’s a definite doozy coming, a really big one!” She shouted. All of our eyes collectively widened in horror. It was even terrifying enough to rouse Rainbow Dash from her sleep as she jolted upright with her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

“A doozy?” She asked before looking around the room. “Where’s Fluttershy?!” She asked hysterically.

“I couldn’t find her at her cottage, and I don’t know where she could be! Damned Plot convenience.” She muttered under her breath.

“THEN WE NEED TO FIND HER!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she jumped up from her seat and rushed over to the door. As Rainbow was running to the door Pinkie Pie’s ears twitched, her eyes blinked rapidly, and her knee’s started to shake. Recognizing the signs, I tried to stop Rainbow Dash.

“RAINBOW, LOOK OUT!” I shouted too late. Just as Rainbow Dash got to the door it swung open and hit her in the face, causing her to fall down and hold her then bruised nose.

“GIRLS! COME TO THE HOSPITAL QUICK!” Fluttershy shouted from the other side of the door. Before we could ask why she looked so terrified she flew off to Ponyville hospital at a speed that Rainbow Dash would be proud of if she wasn’t holding her now bleeding nose.

“C’mon! Let’s go!” Applejack shouted as she rushed out of Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie slung Rainbow Dash over her shoulder and ran after Applejack, with Rarity and me following close behind her.

We ran for about five minutes to Ponyville Hospital in a panic, I'm not sure what the others thought, but I assumed that something happened to one of Fluttershy's animals. Which would mean that we'd have to do our best to console her and make her feel better if one of her animal friends died. This wouldn't have been the first time either, Fluttershy has been asked several times to not bring animals to the hospital, but would still bring her animals to them if she couldn't;t help them.

Midway through our run to the hospital, Rainbow Dash regained enough of her senses to fly there in a few seconds as she left us all behind in her dust. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and I made it to the hospital waiting room a few minutes later and saw Bizarro sitting in a chair with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash in the chairs on either side of him. He was wearing the strange costume he wore when he first entered Ponyville along with the stone slab that hung around his neck.

Bizzaro hung his head low as he stared at the white tiles of the waiting room floor, almost completely unaware that two of his friends were patting his back in a reassuring manor. It was clear to all of us that he had just cried as we saw his fresh tear stained cheeks, which he ignored as he just looked at the floor with a thousand yard stare in his eyes. I was about to ask Bizarro what was wrong before he suddenly stood up and rushed over to the front desk in an instant, causing the papers on the desk to scatter as a small gust of wind followed him to the desk. Not five seconds later, Nurse Redheart walked out of the medical wing as she dried off her hands with a towel.

“Am Trick ok?” Bizarro asked the nurse.

“Yes, don’t worry Bizarro. Mrs. Lulamoon will be fine, but…” She paused as she glanced at all of us. “I need to discuss something with your friends in private, if you don’t mind.”

“Why? Y-you say Trick am ok, right? S-so no need for me to leave, right?” He asked, almost pleading to stay with us.

“I’m sorry Bizarro, Trixie will be fine but there are some things I need to discuss with your friends to ensure she and you will be okay. Mrs. Fluttershy, would you mind taking Mr. Luther outside?” Nurse Redheart asked, receiving a firm nod from Fluttershy before she flew over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry Bizarro, Trixie will be okay. Why don’t we go see if we can pick some evening-primroses for her? I’m sure she’d like some flowers.” Fluttershy offered. Bizarro seemed hesitant to leave, sending a final glance back to the medical wing before he slowly nodded and followed Fluttershy outside.

When Bizarro and Fluttershy were gone and clear from earshot, I spoke up. “Nurse, what’s going on?” I asked. The Nurse’s calming smile instantly vanished as she looked down at her notes.

“It’s not good. Trixie is fine physically and hopefully mentally, but…. hormonally, she isn’t faring too well.”

“What does that mean?” Rainbow Dash asked. “All Biz would talk about was some black creatures in the forest. What the hay does that have to do with Trixie’s hormones?”

“Because those ‘creatures’ were changelings.” Nurse Redheart informed us. We all collectively gasped before she went on with her explanation. “From what Bizarro was able to share, he and Trixie were apparently ambushed in the Everfree and barely escaped. While Bizarro was able to fight off his attackers by some miracle, Trixie was less fortunate and was put inside a changeling containment Egg Sack. You see, the Chalazae in changeling albumen contains a protein that forcibly induces heat for optimal fertilization.” She explained.

“We’re lucky she was only exposed to it for a brief amount of time. If she were inside of the egg for say, a week or so, she would be in a much worse state.” She finished. The girls and I all felt our stomachs turn in disgust and fear. I knew Changelings were dangerous, but this was… disturbing is the only word that could even remotely describe that.

“And since Bizarro wasn’t exposed to it for too long, he shouldn’t be affected. However, we had to incinerate his outer clothing just to be safe. His underclothing should be fine, but the outer layer was almost drenched in changeling albumen.” Nurse Red Heart continued. “For the time being it is paramount that Bizarro stays away from Trixie during her heat. From what questions he was able to answer I assume they aren’t part of a herd, and even if they were I doubt they would want this.”

“No, but more importantly, how long will this last?” I asked. I felt horrible for Trixie, I might not have liked her that much compared to my other friends but I wouldn’t wish this on even my worst enemy. I wouldn’t even wish it on Blue Blood… I think? No, no. I wouldn’t even wish this on him.

“We're not sure, we rarely get patients like this, some of us aren't even sure she'll get any better, all we can do is hope for a miracle. In the meantime, it would be best to keep Bizarro away from Trixie, does Bizarro have anywhere to stay?” Nurse Redheart asked.

“He can stay at the farm wit me. We got plenty o room there.” Applejack offered. “Yer sure Trixie’s gonna be ok, right doc?”

“She will be, don’t worry. She is in the most capable hands in all of Ponyville. But we can’t do anything for Bizarro, that will be your job. He is in a very fragile state right now and needs somepony there for him. Are you sure you can handle it?” Nurse Redheart asked.

“Don’t worry, Red.” Rainbow Dash said as she wrapped an arm around Applejack's shoulders. “AJ’s not alone in this. We’ll all be there to help Biz. Right girls?” She asked us. We all agreed with her sentiment and decided to visit Trixie in the medical wing. Since Trixie was in heat no stallions could visit her, meaning Bizarro wasn’t allowed to see her at all. But, because our group consisted entirely of mares, we would be fine.

Upon entering thee room we all saw Trixie lying on a blue cot that laid right in-between two similar cots on either side of a seafood green curtain. Trixie was asleep, wearing a similarly colored hospital gown, with IV's, heart monitors, and magic tanks attached to her.

I decide to explore the room with my eyes as I tried desperately to look everywhere except at Trixie. This poor mare, I had tried to almost run her out of town when she first got here, what if this could have happened to her but back then? Bizarro wouldn’t have been with her and she would be attacked by those evil changelings. I grimaced at the thoughts of disgusting debauchery and nonconsensual activities she would have likely suffered through, all the while being mentally broken from the proteins being pumped into her body.

The other girls didn’t seem to have a problem looking at Trixie as they stared at her with sympathy, sadness, and possibly their own regrets. While the others were crowded around her, I kept my eyes on anywhere but her. A new TV set capable of showing films with sound hung from the ceiling playing a new episode of Lone Mare. A vase of daffodils and dandelions also rested on Trixie’s night stand, and the right cot adjacent to hers was messy, as if somepony unfurled the sheets, possibly a previous patient who was recently moved. On the left side of her cot was a single chair for visitors to use to make themselves more comfortable.

The slow and rhythmic beeps of Trixie’s heart monitor and the steady rising and falling of her chest were the only clear signs she was alive. It was so strange to see her lying there so peacefully after going through such a nightmare, almost as if it never even happened. My mind briefly pondered the possibility that it might have been a lie, not because I didn’t want to believe either Trixie or Bizarro, but because I desperately hoped she didn’t suffer something so tragic. But, sure enough, this wall all real. Trixie and Bizarro fought for their lives and escaped their tormentors. I shivered at the thoughts of what would have happened if they failed to get out of there.

Not many things were known about changelings, but we did have some knowledge from ponies who were recovered from changeling hives, alongside testimony from changelings who were captured or willfully integrated into society under a protection program. The only way I could describe it would be a farm of ponies stuck to the walls being impregnated or breast feeding changeling larvas. Ponies who came back were never the same; a large number of them were mentally broken, turning into nothing more than sex craved animals, while the ones who rarely recovered fell into a deep depression which often led to suicide.

A few tears escaped my eyes as I continued to think about Trixie and Bizarro and just how lucky they were to get out of there. "Don't worry Trixie, everything's going to be okay." I quietly promised her as I held her limp hand in mine. Did I actually think everything would be okay? Honestly, I didn't expect it to be perfect but she would be alright, I'd do everything in my power to make sure of that.

BIZARRO POV

I sat outside of the Hospital entrance as I waited for one of the girls to come out and talk to me. I already knew what was wrong with Trixie thanks to my super hearing, and it hurt me to know she'd be stuck in the hospital for five days and there was nothing I could do to help. I'm probably the strongest guy on the damn planet, and yet I couldn't do anything to help Trixie recover, hell, I couldn't even help myself.

My mind was plagued with the fight from earlier, the screaming, the blood... the death...

I... I killed someone. Yeah, they were monsters but I still killed a living creature, and it wasn't even a quick death either. The look I saw in that thing's face made it look almost human, like it was just an ordinary person who had their whole life ahead of them. I knew it needed to be done, but it didn't hurt any less. It didn't make the images go away, it didn't make me forget about that smell.

I forced my hand to my mouth as I felt another surge of bile build up in the back of my throat. With great effort and pain, I swallowed it back with tears streaming down my cheeks. Thankfully, Fluttershy seemed blissfully unaware of my current state as she was busy being distracted by picking flowers for Trixie.

I tried picking some too, but every time I tried I just... I kept seeing the blood on my hands as the wet dew of the grass licked my fingers. I know the blood wasn't there, I had scrubbed so much I destroyed two bars of soap and actually made a dent in getting rid of the built up grime underneath my fingernails, but it felt like the blood was still there. As if the blood on my skin would never go away no matter how many times I washed them. I was so consumed by these thoughts that I didn't notice Fluttershy sit down next to me with a full bouquet of yellow flowers. Nor did I register the feeling of her hand on my shoulder as she looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

I was so lucky Fluttershy lived right next to the Everfree Forest, if it wasn't for her I doubt I would have been able to find the hospital without waking up the entire town. She and the doctors insisted that I take some tests to see if I was alright, to which I reluctantly agreed after I made sure Trixie would be in capable hands. She was the one who needed it more than me, and the only reason I even left her side was so that the doctors could do their jobs. More tears escaped my eyes as I thought about how useless I was. I couldn't even tell my best friend that I hoped she would get well soon because me being in the room could hurt her. What the hell do I do?!

My thoughts immediately stopped as I heard two heartbeats near the hospital door, causing the hairs on my neck to stand on edge.

Two... Two hearts, TWO HEARTS. I started to panic, my breathing increasing rapidly as I readied myself for another fight in that moment. Thankfully, my fears were alleviated when it turned out to just be Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash walking out of the hospital together. I let out a sigh of relief when I realized that, something that Fluttershy didn't fail to miss.

"Bizarro, are you alright?" She asked me sweetly. I nodded dumbly in response as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash walked over to us. Rainbow Dash had a sheepish smile on her face while Pinkie Pie's hair was completely deflated and an even weaker smile graced her lips.

"Hey Biz, got a sec?" Rainbow Dash asked. Once again, I chose to nod instead of speaking. Rainbow Dash then sat next to me on the opposite side of Fluttershy while Pinkie Pie plopped herself down on the ground and sat with her legs crossed. A long silence overtook us before Pinkie Pie decided to break it.

"So, B, how are you feeling?" She asked slowly.

"Bizarro am... Me... It am hard..." I finally said. "Me no know forest so bad. If me did, me make sure not leave Trick alone. Me left her and bugs attack her. They almost... They almost..." I trailed off, not even having the strength to finish that sentence. The things they would have done would have made death seem like a merciful option.

Rainbow Dash rested a hand on my clenched fist as she looked at my face. "Hey Biz, don't beat yourself up over this. You're both alive and you did your best."

"Yeah, B! You should be happy to be out of those woods." Pinkie Pie added on.

"Me know, it just.... Ugh." I buried my face in my hands as I gave up trying to explain it. "It am hard to say. Me am sad me no do more, but me am... Feel icky for what me did do. Me feel gross and me still worry about Trick... She ok, right?" I asked as I peeked an eye out and looked at Rainbow Dash. I hated asking her as I had to work with my goddamn Bizarro speak to talk to her. I needed to think I was Happy I killed someone and that I was Happy Trixie was hurt so I could tell them how I really felt. It made me sick to my stomach, almost as if I was silently mocking my best friend in her time of need. While I was struggling with these thoughts, Rainbow Dash's sheepish smile faltered slightly as she hesitated to answer.

"She... Uh...." Rainbow Dash failed to finish whatever she was about to say as Pinkie Pie interjected.

"She's unconscious right now." Pinkie told me with her voice nearly devoid of any emotion. "She'll be better after a while, but we need you to stay away from her until then. I know how you're feeling B, if I couldn't help my friends I'd go loco, but you not being there will help her. And, once she's out of there, you'll be able to help her out as much as you can. Don't worry B." Pinkie Pie finished with a little more cheer in her voice. "She'll be out of there lickitysplit, and then you'll be able to hang out all day long! Oh, we could even throw a party when she gets out, and you can get her a present. Doesn't that sound nice?"

I thought about what she said before I slowly nodded. "That am sound nice... Thank you guys." I told my friends, causing them to all hug me tightly, a gesture I was happy to return.

I'm so sorry Trixie.

APPLEJACK POV

After makin’ sure Trixie wasn't gonna die from what those critters did to her, Twi, me, and Rares all left the hospital ta see Bizarre talking wit the rest of our friends. He still seemed pretty down in the dumps, I couldn’t blame ‘im, I’d feel the same way if I was in his position. 'Specially if it were somepony really close ta me like my friends or my family.

Rares and I went to talk ta Bizarre about ‘im possibly stayin’ wit me while Trixie recovered. Twi also promised that she’d keep an eye on Trixie and make sure she’d be right as rain in no time flat, Bizarre seemed okay with stayin’ at mah place after I told him that part. Probably worried those changelings might come back or somethin’, or maybe he was just worried about Trixie in general.

After sayin’ g’bye to our friends for the night, Bizarre and I went back ta Sweet Apple Acres so we could both get some shut eye. I let Bizarre have the guest room fer the night and decided ta leave a note in the kitchen tellin’ Granny to set up another plate fer breakfast. I knew Granny’d be awake before any of us if she weren’t already awake. Not too hard ta wake up so Celestia Damn early when ya get a few good naps in durin’ the day.

After I was done writin’ I slumped upstairs to my bedroom at the end of the hall. Bizarre’s room was right between mine and Big Macs, and across from the bathroom which was stuck between Granny and Appleboom’s room. His room wadn’t anything too special, it was just a small room we’d use ta hold some of Granny’s old books and trinkets when we didn’t have company over, everything in that room from the bed frame to the green wallpaper was about as old or older than Granny, it even had a quilt made by mah Great Great Gram Apple Harvest.

I looked back at Bizarre’s room one last time before I went into mine. I could only imagine how he was feelin’ after those damn changelings attacked him an Trixie. I was about to go into his room ta check up on him before I heard him lightly snoring on the other side of the door. Poor thing was probably tuckered out after everythin’ that happened.

After that, I went into my room an flopped down on mah bed. It was tough tryin' ta go to sleep after everythin' that happened to Bizarre and Trixie. I thought about what coulda happened to 'em, how I mighta never seen either of 'em again if they didn't get outta there, and all the terrible things that would have happened because they didn't escape.

Every part of me was screamin' ta go check on Bizarre an make sure he was still in the other room, ta hug him an tell him everything would be alright. But I didn't, I just laid in bed with a million thoughts racin' through my mind, stoppin' me from getting a good night's sleep an endin' this waking nightmare.

For the first time in what felt like ages, I let a tear break past mah eyelids as I was both sad and happy. I was sad that Trixie and Bizarre had to go through all that, mortified even. But I was also so gosh darn happy they were still alive.

A few more tears squeezed past my eyelids as I cried mahself ta sleep that night, torn between crying fer joy that they were alive or crying in sadness cause they were attacked.

Gone but not Forgotten.

BIZARRO POV

My eyes fluttered open slowly letting me to see an old white ceiling above me instead of the open skies I had grown accustomed to for the past week. And instead of smelling the fresh air of an open clearing, I smelt a musty odor and the familiar scent of vintage furniture.

I weakly pushed myself up as I properly looked around the room. The bed was pressed up against the far left corner of the room near one of the left window of the room, both of the windows were covered in white tarps that looked to be in a constant state of repair as the makeshift patch job barely held the partially eaten tarps together. The holes in the tarps allowed the light to seep through them, giving the room an odd sense of lighting as light hit random areas of the room. The walls of the room were covered in an old green wallpaper that was yellowing with age, causing the intricate patterns on it to fade into obscurity, only noticeable to the most trained eye or those with Super Vision.

Across from the bed on the other side of the room was a large wooden bookshelf that held a massive array of books, each one painted in a heavy layer of dust, with the only exception being the bottom row of books which looked like they were used quiet regularly. Next to the bed was an old looking nightstand with a glass of water that looked about as old as everything else in the room. Lastly, there was a wooden rocking chair covered in a knitted red and green blanket and was surrounded by stacks of cardboard boxes in the far right corner of the room near the white painted wooden door. The paint of the door was slowly chipping away, creating a cracking pattern that ran all over the door, it looked as if slamming the door just hard enough would cause all of the paint chips to fall off at once.

All in all, the room felt peaceful to me. It reminded me so much of my Great Grandmother’s farm. Heck, if there was a mysterious boot-print on the ceiling somewhere I’d think I somehow teleported back home. I never did find out what caused that boot-print, I wish I asked her about that before she passed away. I wished I talked to her more.

I wished I talked to them all more.

I fell back down onto my pillow, kicking up a cloud of dust as I did so. I lazily watched it drift in the air as I stared at the ceiling, my mind almost refusing to believe anything that happened after Comic Con. I wanted so badly for this to be all a dream, to know it wasn’t real and that I’d see my mom and sister if I just got out of my bed. But, I knew that wasn’t the case, I knew that when I went downstairs I’d only see Applejack’s house. I’d see her, her family, I’d probably even see some of our friends, but I wouldn’t see Trixie there with them.

I felt so tempted to just stay in Applejack’s guest room, to just lay down and return to another dreamless sleep and never wake up. But, I knew I couldn’t just lock myself away, despite how much I really wanted to. I’d have to leave sometime, and I didn’t want to worry anypony by staying cooped up in their guest room.

I threw the old heavy blanket off of my body and kicked my legs over the edge of the bed in one motion, the bed frame squeaking slightly as I did so. As my feet touched to floorboards, they creaked loudly, as If anymore weight would break them instantly. It was yet another reminder of home that made me feel almost nostalgic. "Almost" being the optimal word, as it was still a reminder of what I could never see again.

I forced myself out of bed and to the door, the floor boards creaking with each step, and the hinges on the door squeaking silently as I pulled it open. Once I was out of the guest room, I closed the door behind myself and made my way down stairs. The sounds of ponies talking and something sizzling in a pan greeted my ears as I walked down from the top of the stairs and made my way to the kitchen.

Once inside, I saw Big Mac, Applejack, and Applebloom sitting at the table. Big Mac was whittling a new wooden spoon out of a tree branch, Applejack was half asleep at the table, struggling not to fall face first into her bowl of cereal, and Applebloom was writing something in a little notebook. I also noticed a large old mare in the room at the stove, cooking what looked like slices of apples in a frying pan.

“Oh, why look who got up.” The green mare said as she looked over her shoulder.

Applejack looked up at me with a smile and a quiet yawn. “Mornin’ Bizarre. How’d ya sleep?” She asked.

“Me am sleep good. Thank Applejack for room.” I told her.

“Shoot what’re friend’s fer? *Yawn* Oh, let me introduce ya, this here is my Granny.” She said as she gestured to the older mare.

Applejack’s grandmother wiped her hands off on her apron as she held out her hand for me to shake. As I accepted her handshake, she properly introduced herself.

"Howdy youngin. Name's Sweetie Smith, though ya can call me Granny Smith, might as well get used to it." She said as she nudged me in the arm.

“Uh, ok me guess. Me thank Granny for Hospital tally.” I told her as I took a seat at the table.

“Please. It’s that least we can do. AJ told us about what’cha did out there an what happened. No way in heck am I gonna let a stallion like you bum it on the streets, 'specially after what happened to ya.” Granny Smith told me as she set down a plate of cooked apple slices and eggs in front of me. “Now dig in.”

Nodding in thanks I started eating some of the eggs on my plate as Granny went back to cooking. Big Mac finished carving his new wooden spoon and glanced at Applejack for a second before he looked over at me.

“Hey Bizarro, me an Snowflake were gonna go to those new Nickelodeon machines they got at the theater. Ya wanna come with us?” He asked.

“No. Bizarro thinking me just walk around town for bit.” I replied. Truthfully, I wanted to see how Trixie was doing. But I knew that’d be stupid since I couldn’t do anything to help her and I’d only end up making things worse.

At that moment, Applejack promptly passed out into her bowl of cereal after fighting a losing battle with Mr. Sandman. Once she started snoring softly into her cereal Big Mac sighed and shook his head. “Dangit, guess I can’t go with ‘er tuckered out like this.” He said before he glanced over to the clock on the wall with his eyes widening. “Shoot! Hey Bizarro, mind takin’ Applebloom ta school while I put AJ ta bed an’ do some chores?” He asked.

“Sure, me can do that.” I told him before he shot up out of his seat and tossed Applebloom her back pack.

“Thanks Bizarro, yer a life saver.” He said before he picked up Applejack and took her out of the kitchen. Once they were out of sight my gaze shifted to the youngest Apple of the family as she was stuffing some books into her bag.

“Thanks a bunch Mr. Zarro, now I need ta get goin’!” Applebloom shouted as she rushed out of the kitchen. “Come on, Mr. Zarro!" She screamed from the front door of the house.

Realizing Applebloom must have been pretty late I jumped up out of my chair and ran to the door. “Thank Granny for food!” I shouted back to Granny Smith before I closed the door and followed Applebloom as she ran down the dirt path towards the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres which was still a long run away from us.

“Hurry up, Mr. Zar-Whoa!” I cut Applebloom off as I raced past her and scooped her up into my arms, running much faster than she could towards the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres.

“How late am we?” I asked.

“School’s gonna start in a few minutes. Hurry!” She told me.

“Ok. Hang on.” I warned her before I jumped up into the air and took off. The least I could do for Applejack and her family was make sure Applebloom got to school on time.

Flying for the first time seemed to startle her for a second, but whatever fear she felt seemed to melt away as she instantly began screaming with joy as we soared in the air. It took us less than a minute to fly over to the school where I dropped her off at the front of the building after I landed.

“Yeehaw! That was awesome Mr. Zarro! Can we do it again?” She asked as she hopped in place. I nodded before the school bell rang, calling all of the students inside.

“Come in class!” A motherly voice yelled from inside. The rest of the stragglers raced past Applebloom and I as they ran inside.

“Bye Mr. Zarro, thank’s fer the lift!” Applebloom called out she quickly raced inside after the other students, giving me a quick wave before she disappeared inside the building.

I gave a little wave back to her as she fully disappeared and the door closed behind her, hoping that she would have a good day at school. I remembered back when I was…

What grade is Applebloom in? I questioned inwardly as I wondered if the Equestrian school system was the same as the one back home.

In the Equestria Girls series it was implied that the younger students either went to a different school building that was nearby or were high school students, which I sincerely doubted Applebloom was since she was still ten years old.

Deciding to question it later, I turned on my heels and walk around town for a bit. I didn’t really have any idea what I would be doing, my only goal was to just decompress after what happened in those woods. I didn't want to think about how Trixie was hurt, how we barely managed to escape, or how I...

A sudden moment of fearful realization hit me like a speeding train, causing me to panic and pat down my pocketless costume, hoping beyond hope that I didn't do what I thought I did. But, to my complete horror I absolutely did, I had forgotten the Lightsaber in the woods and left it next to the dead changling's body. And since I heard the cacophony of dozens of changelings heading towards the campsite when we left, the changelings would undoubtably find it when they got to the campsite.

Because of my ignorance and fear, I had just handed one of the most powerful weapons in fiction to creatures who could presumably change their appearance at will. I had essentially given them the perfect assassination tool, a small device that could be easily concealed in a bag and be passed off as a harmless metal rod should any guard find it in a "pony's" luggage.

I inhaled deeply as I internally cursed myself out for my own stupidity before I expressed my self-loathing anger outwardly with one booming word.

TWILIGHT POV

"YIPPIE!!!" A loud voice boomed out from outside, taking my attention away from my book as I closed it and made my way to the window of the hospital room.

Moving the light blue curtains out of the way, I looked outside to find the source of the loud noise which sounded like Bizarro. For a moment, I pondered what made Bizarro so happy that he would shout like that before I shrugged it off and turned back around to sit in my chair.

As I sat back down and attempted to find the page about changelings I was previously reading, Trixie began to stir slightly in her sleep. I put the book down and scooted my chair closer to her side as I held her hand. My small gesture thankfully seemed to calm her down as she slept more easily. Since going through a heat cycle, especially an unplanned one, can be a painful experience the doctors all agreed that it would be best to place a few calming spells to help her rest through the process, but it wouldn't keep her knocked out if a stallion came into the room.

I desperately wished Sleep magic wasn't so difficult, if I could help her get through this time with relative ease then I would do it without hesitation. But, one slip up with a sleep spell could spell complete disaster for her body and especially her mind. Only ponies who devoted their entire lives to the study of dream crafting such as Princess Luna could wield such powerful and dangerous magic, and I had neither the time nor the resources to learn it to help Trixie in her time of need.

The only thing I could do was be with her and send a letter to Princess Celestia to request that her sister looks into Trixie's dreams. I desperately wanted to do more to help her, to ease the burden of going through this forced heat in some way. But all I could do was continue to stay by her side and make sure she was at least somewhat comfortable during this strenuous time. And I couldn't even do that for much longer as Nurse Nursery, a cream colored pegasus mare with an magenta mane, came into the room.

"Mrs. Sparkle, I apologize but we need to run a few tests on Trixie, as well as reapply her muscle numbing and calming spells. If you want to, you can come back around 1:30 or so after Trixie is given some food and bathed." The nurse informed me. I reluctantly nodded before I silently gathered the few books I brought with me and turned to Trixie to give her a quick peck on the head as I wished her good health.

I quickly made my way out of the hospital room, tears threatening to once again spill from my eyes as I tried to reassure myself that Trixie would be alright. As I walked through the long stretching corridors and made my way down three flights of stairs I held the tears back with a great deal of effort. I kept telling myself that Trixie was in capable hands, that she would be fine, that I did everything I could. But no matter what I told myself there was still that small feeling inside me that I could have done more, that I haven't even done close to enough.

I walked out of the Ponyville Hospital, looking back at Trixie's window once more before I walked away from the building. I desperately needed something to distract myself, something to take my mind off of Trixie, something that—

"Twilight?" Bizarro called out.

I turned my head to look around for Bizarro before I saw him sitting on a bench near the town's fountain of Princess Celestia. Bizarro slowly straightened his posture as he looked at me with a hopeful smile.

"Hi Bizarro." I said to him.

"Hi Twilight. Am... Am you just get back from Hospital?" He asked me. I nodded my head before I took a seat next to him on the bench.

"Yeah. I was there all night. Normally they don't allow visitors after a certain time, but because of... What happened, they decided to make a special exception to the rules."

"Good. Good... She am good, right?" He asked me.

"Yeah. I just wish I could have done more." I told him as nervously rubbed my hands together.

"Me know what you mean." He stated. A short silence fell over us as we listened to the birds and the sound of rushing water from the fountain.

"Bizarro, how are you holding up?" I asked him. Bizarro shrugged before he looked in the general direction of the hospital.

"Me am alright, me am just worry... Bizarro mess up, and now me hurt other ponies."

"Hey, you did everything you could, Bizarro. And it's not your fault for what happened. You didn't hurt Trixie, those changelings did." I reassured him as I placed my hand on his lap. Bizarro shook his head as he refused to meet my gaze.

"Me am no talk about that. That am Bizarro's fault and me feel bad, but me do something else bad... Me give them weapon by accident." He told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

"Bizarro had weapon in forest. Me use it to kill bug, and now they am have it. Bizarro am stupid. Stupid! STUPID!" Bizarro shouted as he hit himself on his head with his fist. I quickly grabbed his arm as he swung again. I wasn't able to stop him with brute strength, but my action did get him to stop as he looked at me.

"Bizarro, stop it! Everything's going to be ok. Just calm down and explain what you mean." I told him. He let out a heavy sigh before he lowered his hands and looked at the ground.

"Twilight. Am you know someone named Darth Vader?" He asked me. I was a bit surprised by the seemingly sudden change in topic.

"No, I don't think I've ever met anypony named Darth before. Why do you ask?"

Bizarro had a contemplative look on his face as he bit his bottom lip, seemingly debating with himself about something as we sat there in silence. Bizarro soon let out another sigh as he still refused to look at me in the eyes.

"Vader am man Bizarro know, he was Sith Lord, feared across Galaxy. Bizarro am find his weapon in forest and use it against bug. But me leave it behind like big dummy." He told me.

"Well, how dangerous is this weapon?" I hesitantly asked. If Bizarro was telling the truth about this 'Darth Vader' than I could only imagine his weapons would be as equally fearsome as his name.

"It am Lightsaber. It am laser sword that can cut through anything.., or anypony." He explained grimly. "Only thing that stop Lightsaber is Lightsaber, and me just let bugs take it." He told me as he buried his face in his hands. I patted him on the back reassuringly as I digested that information. A sword that could cut through anything did sound extremely dangerous, and it was possibly in the hands of one of the most violent races on the planet.

"Don't worry Bizarro, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known at the time, and you're assuming the changelings find it and know how to use alien technology. And even if they didn't find it, I'll send a letter to the Princesses warning them about the possibility of the changelings coming with one of those Lightsabers." I told him, although it didn't seem to help him out much. I internally debated how I could hopefully improve his mood before I quickly came up with an idea.

"Hey Bizarro, would you mind talking about your home?" I asked him. Bizarro took his face out of his hands as he finally looked at me.

"What?"

“Well, you’re an alien, meaning you have otherworldly cultures and customs that would be literally alien to the rest of the world." I tried to explain. "I thought it might be nice to talk and ease our minds about everything that's been going on. I also wanted to find out as much as I could so we don’t accidentally offend you. Unless we did offend you. Oh no, is it offensive to ask questions like this back on your homeworld, is it offensive to call it a homeworld, is—“ I started to rant, but I quickly cut her off by placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Be calm. You no upset Bizarro with words. Me… Me think it good to talk about home. Clear head, me head and your head too.” Bizarro reassured me. I relaxed a little bit after he removed his hand and I gave him an eager smile.

“Thanks, Bizarro. Okay, my first question is, what was your planet called?”

“It am called Earth in Milky Way Galaxy.” He told me.

"So... your planet's name is 'Earth'?..” I hesitantly asked. “Is it one large land mass with a minimal amount of water?”

"No, it am seventy-five percent water."

I nodded my head slowly. “Oookayy… You... Bizarro, does earth means dirt and rock on your planet?“

"Yup." He casually told me.

"And your planet is seventy-five percent water..."

“That right.“

There was a long silence that fell over us after that asI tried to comprehend the naming convention of Bizarro's planet. I suppose it was a bit hypocritical to judge his planet's name since I lived in Ponyville after all, but his planet's name just seemed so... odd.

"So, what is 'earth' like?" I finally asked, breaking the previously built up silence.

“It am a lot like here me guess. We am have a sun, a moon, blue sky, and we am look like Ponies. We am no have tails or am as colorful, and homes back home am more advanced, we am no have sticks for roofs.”

“Sticks? Oh, you mean thatch. Yeah, it’s a custom a lot of ponies in more rural areas hold onto, many ponies used thatch because they don’t like using things that weren’t made by the Equestrian government. It’s not motivated by specieism or anything, well at least for most ponies. The ones who aren’t spiciest just think that by purchasing things made by other countries they’re harming Equestria’s economy. But not everypony goes along with this line of thinking and have broken the mold by having roofs that are made of tiles and sometimes buying fish from traveling hippogriff butchers.” I explained.

“What am Hippopotamus?” Bizarro asked.

“Hippogriff," I corrected him. "a hybrid species of ponies and griffons. There used to be an entire empire out in the sea, but it mysteriously vanished one day. There are a few around today, but they aren’t as nearly large a species as they were in the time of Starswirl. The haddock they sell is delicious once you get the taste for it. But I guess hippogriffs aren’t common where you’re from then?”

“No, me no hear about them. What else am there?”

“Well, there’s the different races of ponies, unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, and Alicorns, with crystal ponies being a distant evolutionary cousin of earth ponies that went extinct with the fall of the Crystal Empire, and thestrals being a different race of pegasi specifically. Then there are dragons like Spike, Spike is only a child now even though he’s old enough to be considered a legal adult. Dragons age at a much slower rate than ponies, think of it like reverse dog years.” I explained.

“Then there are the yaks who live far up north past the old remains of the Crystal Empire along with the minotaurs which are a species similar to yacks but with clover hooves instead of feet, then there are the buffalo of the south who are mainly a nomadic race, and finally the diamond dogs. It’s theorized that diamond dogs are the evolutionary descendant of crystal wolves, pets crystal ponies would keep and help so they could both survive the harsh winters of the north. Finally, there are the griffons that live in the east on a separate continent called Griffonstone. They're an avian species with physical features similar to lions, it's commonly believed that griffons evolved from a species of Manticores during the stone age of Equis and evolved through their use of advanced tools and invention of written language. Finally, there are the zebra shaman, another race that was they byproduct of earth pony buffalo relationships, which are one of the most rare relationships you'll probably find out there. And That’s pretty much eyerycreature.” I finished. I decided to exclud changelings from my list of creatures who lived on this planet. I wasn’t sure if Bizarro caught onto that fact or not, but if he did he didn't say anything.

“So, what is the dominant species on your planet called? I noticed you said they were ‘like’ ponies, but didn’t have tails or were as… colorful?” I asked.

“We am have limited colors, nopon—er, me mean say nobody am green, purple, or red like ponies am.”

“I see. So skin pigmentation doesn’t have as large a variety as ponies do, so the dominant species would probably be closer to griffons then in terms of skin pigmentation.”

“Me guess. Oh, and they am called Humans.”

“Humans.” I silently repeated, trying to get a feeling on the foreign word. I found it interesting that the dominant species was named after the word humane and I assumed that that meant they were a relatively compassionate and peaceful species, similar to ponies. “Interesting. What else can you tell me about them?” I asked.

Bizarro went on about all the topics he said he learned in high school that he could remember, like the Big Bang, how his planet was covered entirely in lava, how the air was toxic, but then the chemicals spontaneously combined to create O2 and H2O, and then a large continent called Pangea formed, leading to dinosaurs becoming the top of the food chain before a meteorite crashed into the planet, breaking Pangea apart and causing the dinosaurs to go extinct in the process. I found it interesting that his planet also had Dinosaurs, and was even more surprised to learn that like our planet, all of their dinosaurs went extinct because of a meteor. I wondered if the meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs on his planet also imbued his planet with magic like our meteorite did. If it wasn't for that, then it would be likely that magic wouldn't have existed at all on Equis. The similarities between our respective planets was almost jarring.

He had to back peddle a bit when he forget to tell me how the moon formed and had to explain what a gun was, which turned out to be a smaller and more advanced version of our muskets. I was also very interested in the elements on Earth after he told me about the Periodic Table. When I wanted to know more Bizarro surprised me by reciting all the elements between Hydrogen and, funnily enough, Krypton. When I asked how he knew all of that he explained that his teacher made him and the other students watch a chemistry film repeatedly for several weeks in a row to memorize a science song. The idea of an entire song dedicated to science sounded so great that I could hardly contain my growing excitement. I made sure to write down the lyrics so I could try singing it later.

“This is all incredible!” I exclaimed as I placed down another parchment on the ever-growing mountain of papers I had. Half of the large stack was Bizarro's words verbatim while the other half was a translated version with proper grammar and phrasing.

As I levitated another parchment into my hands I looked at Bizarro with a bit of trepidation. “Ummm. Bizarro, this might be a bit… personal, but… Do you miss Earth?” I asked. I was worried about how he would respond, but I needed to know how he was doing. I know that I would miss Equestria if I was forced to leave.

Bizarro let a sigh escape his lips as he looked at the sky with a sad smile. “Me... Me do… Bizarro am miss family and friends.” He told me.

“Your family? You mean your sister, right?” I asked since I wasn't sure how he viewed Lex Luthor or Superman. Bizarro only nodded in response as he let another wave of silence wash over us before he finally broke it.

“Me do miss Lilly, and me am worry about her. She too good, too young... Lilly am turn eleven in month. Me wanted to take her to zoo to pet animals.” Bizarro recalled fondly. My heart ached as I looked at him, as he spoke I could see him fighting back a few tears.

I instantly hugged Bizarro without hesitation. "I'm so sorry." I told him, realizing that I had once again overstepped my bounds by bringing up his family.

"It... It okay Twilight. Even if Lilly am no here, she am still here." He told me as he placed a hand over his heart. "Bizarro am no forget Lilly, and... me am hope she no forget me." Bizarro finished with a little bit of pain evident in his voice. I couldn't stop myself from giving Bizarro an even tighter hug after I heard that.

"I know she didn't, Bizarro, and she won't. You're a great Stallion, and probably one of the best big brothers out there. She will always be you Little Sister Slash Best Friend Forever." I reassured him. Bizarro seemed to go stiff before he slowly started to relax and embrace me in a hug as well.

"Thank Twilight."

We sat there in silence once again for a few moments before we broke off the hug and continued talking. Bizarro told me more about his sister and I in turn told him about my big brother, Shining Armor. Something told me that they would get along pretty well if they ever met each other.

We spent the rest morning and afternoon talking about our respective planets, our histories, and cultures. I was especially intrigued by his stories about space travel. I found it interesting that Bizarro and Superman’s home planets were named after elements, Bizarro’s obviously being earth and his biological original’s being named after the element krypton. It made me wonder if we were the weird ones for not naming our planet after an element.

Maybe I should discuss this with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I think Harmonious would be a nice name for a planet. I thought as we continued to converse throughout the rest of the afternoon until it was time for us to depart. Bizarro understood that I needed to get back to the hospital to check up on Trixie so, after a quick goodbye and a promise that Trixie would be ok, I went back to the hospital while Bizarro made his way towards Sugarcube Corner.

Author's Note

For those of you wondering about the other species of Equis not mentioned, such as the Abyssinians, Yetis, and Kirin, there will be an in-universe answer later. But to break the fourth wall for a moment, let me just say that Abyssinians confuse the hell out of me. There are normal cats in MLP and then Anthro cats too? Don't get me wrong, the Diamond Dogs confuse me too but not as much as those odd anthro cat people.

Life am Like…

BIZARRO POV

After I finished my conversation with Twilight near the fountain, she and I said our goodbyes and departed. Twilight had planned to go back to the hospital to check on Trixie after she was given lunch. I, in the meantime, had nowhere to really be and nothing to do, so I decided to head on over to Sugarcube Corner. It was already about 1:30 in the afternoon and I didn’t have anything to eat for lunch yet, so I thought I might be able to grab something from there and talk to Pinkie Pie for a bit.

As I walked away from the fountain and took a shortcut through the marketplace I heard the hustle and bustle of all of the vendors and shoppers outside buying and selling their goods. I unconsciously listened to some random pony's heart beats, terrified that I'd hear a second beat in one of their chests. When I didn't hear anything abnormal, I relaxed a little bit as I used my other super senses.

The smell of fresh produce, flowers, perfumes, and scented candles all filled the air, cumulating into a pleasant aroma that drifted along the breeze. Unlike perfumes and scents form Earth, the products being sold had a more natural and subtle smell to them, allowing them to smell lovely while not becoming overwhelming and suffocating. I was pleasantly surprised by that, especially since I had super smell. I expected the market place to smell and sound horrible to me with my enhanced senses but, pleasantly enough, it never happened.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath through my nose, savoring the smell of roses, dandelions, tea leaves, and so many other scents I that I couldn't place. I was in such a euphoric and blissful state that I didn’t hear the sound of a certain Yellow filly shouting loudly, or the sound of an apple zipping through the air as it made it’s way directly towards my right cheek.

As the red fruit hit my cheek, it exploded on impact immediately, coating half of my face and hair in applesauce and apple chunks that clung to my skin like sweat on a hot summer day. The smile on my face vanished as my eyes shot open and I looked around in terror.

Where are the changelings!? Is everyone alright?! Where-

“Oh man gosh, I’m so sorry Mr. Zarro!” Applebloom called out. As I looked in the direction Applebloom’s voice came from I saw her rush over to me with a small green towel in her hands. A sigh of relief escaped my hyperventilating lungs as I realized that everypony was alright.

“Here, lemme help.” She told me as she held up the towel and tried to jump to my face. She failed miserably of course since I towered over her, so I made it a bit easier for her by kneeling down and letting her wipe off the mess while she apologized profusely.

“I’m so so SO sorry, Mr. Zarro, I didn’t think that would happen!” Applebloom told me as she looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. It was like staring into the face of a sad kitten who was raised by angles.

“*sigh* It am fine Bloom.” I told her as she finished wiping off the last of the apple bits from my face and hair. I would have probably been angrier with her if she didn’t have the biggest damn puppy-dog eyes I ever saw before. Fuck Super vision, Puppy vision is where it’s at.

“Ya’ll okay, Bizarre?” Applejack asked as she walked over to me and offered me a hand up.

“Me am good. But what happen?” I asked after getting back up. I was still slightly confused about how and why an apple was flying at speeds Rainbow Dash would respect.

“Sorry again about that, Mr. Zarro. I was jus’ tryin’ ta get mah Cutie mark in apple sellin’. But I’m no good at it I guess.” Applebloom said as she rubbed her hands nervously and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry again, sir.” She mumbled as she walked next to us over to her and Applejack's apple cart.

“It am fine. Bizarro am no hurt, me am tough stallion.” I reassured her as I patted her on the shoulder.

“Phew. Ah’m happy ta hear that, Bizarre. I know a lota ponies would be upset about that, an’ rightly so.” Applejack said, getting back behind her apple cart and finishing her statement with a glare directed towards her younger sibling, who visibly flinched as she wilted under her older sister’s intense stare. "Seriously sis, ya don't throw the product. Ya especially don't throw it at a stallion."

“Ah’m sorry… I just wanted a Cutie mark.” Applebloom muttured under her breath as she refused to meet her sister's judgmental eyes.

Wait, how does a pony just get a Birth mark? I thought to myself, questioning just what exactly a Cutie mark was. Everypony seemed to talk about it as if it was something important, so maybe it wasn’t a Birth mark like I originally thought.

“What am Cutie mark exactly? Am it like Birth mark?” I asked. Applebloom looked up at me with a clearly confused look spreading across her face.

“What? How da ya not know what a Cutie mark is? It’s yer special talent in life. When did ya get yers?” She asked.

“Bizarro no have Cutie mark.” I told her. Her eyes seemed to widen in horror as if I told her an invisible murderer lived in her closet.

“N… No Cutie mark? T-then... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhh!” Applebloom screamed as she ran off in a panic.

“Ummmm…. Why am Bloom be scared?” I asked Applejack dumbly as I watched Applebloom run like hell out off the Market place.

“Ah, she’s jus worried she might not get her Cutie mark. I don’t see what the big deal is, plenty of adults don’t have a Cutie mark, an' they ain’t worse for wear cause of it. Why, my great uncle once removed, divorced, added, and then removed again, Rake Leaf, doesn’t have a Cutie mark. But, he still got a job up in Canterlot as a royal gardener for Princess Celestia, an’ he’s been workin’ there since before I was a foal.”

“So then why Bloom care?”

Applejacks shoulders slumped as she rested her head on her arms. “Cause fillies these days wanna grow up faster an’ faster, an' they think gettin’ a Cutie mark will make ‘em an adult.” Applejack huffed. “Sad part is, Bloom is growin’ pretty darn fast. Sure, she’s still a filly now, but then BAM! Suddenly she’ll be a mare an startin’ a herd and workin’ on the farm. I jus wish she was younger fer a bit longer ya know, help her grow up an be there fer her.” She told me.

I understood where Applejack was coming from, Lilly had grown up so fast that it didn’t even seem feasibly possible. One day she couldn’t say a single word and then she could suddenly say my name with so much joy that it made my heart skip a beat. She shouted my name whenever she saw me like we hadn’t seen each other for years, and each time I heard her I became more determined to be the best big brother I could be.

“Me am understand. They am grow up so fast.”

“Yeah, yeah that they do…” Applejack said as she gazed off in the direction Applebloom ran off in before she pushed herself off of the table and smiled at me. “Anyway, enough mopin’ around.” She said as she gestured to her apples. “Ya want some apples, Bizarre? Just bucked ‘em this mornin’.”

“Sure.” I replied. Twilight had been kind enough to lend me a few Bits during our temporary stay in Ponyville. Apparently, Equestria didn't believe in paper currency and only exchanged goods through golden coins called Bits that could be given out in quarters, halves, or full coins. I wasn't sure how Bits could have been translated into American dollars, but if I had to make an estimate, I'd say a full Bit was worth about two dollars. I was about to pull out half a Bit for an apple before Applejack held a hand out to stop me.

“On the house after the fast food incident with Applebloom.” Applejack joked as she held out the apple to me.

“It am no problem. Me am pay.” I told her.

“Keep yer Bits, Bizarre, I insist.” She said with a warm smile and a tip of her Stetson. The pride in her voice told me there was no way she’d accept my answer willingly without a fight. However, I would fight her if I had to.

I stared Applejack down for a moment as I thought of how to attack the situation. If there was one thing my mother was able to pass onto me, it was her stubbornness when it came to money. Try and try as you like, you could never get her to not tip, or take no for an answer when she offered cash. It made me feel bad whenever she would give me money for my birthday because she had already given me so much in life. She just gave and gave without even being asked to, something I looked up to and wanted to do too. And I was about to make that point abundantly clear to Applejack.

“Me am insist more.” I said.

“Please, what’re friends for?”

“Friends pay friends for food.”

“Not if they’re offerin’.” She responded with a little more edge in her voice but still held her smile firmly in place.

“Well me am offer Bits. In fact, me am offer double bits.”

“Well I’ll offer ya double the apples fer half the cost of one!”

“That am good offer, but— What am that?!” I shouted as I pointed behind Applejack. Once she turned around to look for the nonexistent threat I quickly placed double the amount of necessary Bits on the counter, took an apple, and flew off.

“Dangnabit Bizarre, get yer flank back 'ere!” Applejack shouted as I flew away with a wicked grin on my face. I had technically just pulled a Bizarro and made myself get ripped off.

“HAHAHAHA! Bizarro am best Bizarro!” I shouted out with glee before I took a bite out of my expensive apple.

As I savored the mouth watering flavor of my apple I looked down at all of the ponies milling about in town and completely forgot all of the fears I had as I looked at everypony's smiling faces. The streets were packed for rush hour, Ponies walking shoulder to shoulder as they went through the busy hustle and bustle of the streets below. One would think that Ponyville would have a relatively sparse population since there weren't too many houses, but apparently most of the Mares had shared living arrangements and used space augmentation enchantments on their houses; So, a town that could fit probably 2,000 or so residents can actually fit about 6,000 or so. They could have probably fit a whole lot more if their population was more dense.

During my conversation with Twilight I was surprised to learn that Equis' total pony population was in the low millions, barely scraping towards 10 million. If I remembered correctly, Pennsylvania had about 12 million people living in it when I left. I had no idea how any species could survive, let alone thrive, with such a small population, but I essentially chalked it up to my least favorite answer; "Because it's Magic."

As I watched the ponies milling about their everyday lives with blissful smiles on their faces I saw Sugarcube Corner approaching in the distance with a certain pink pony bouncing excitedly as she waved to me. Finishing off the rest of my apple, I slowed my flight to allow for a smooth landing as I descended towards my objective, lunch and chocolates.

Pinkie Pie wasn't wearing her casual clothes as she usually did, but was instead wearing a bright brown t-shirt, blue jeans, and pink shoes, along with a brown and white stripped apron and a matching brown visor cap. She also had a ridiculously large pink pin button on her apron that had two blue balloons on the sides and one yellow balloon in the center, the same as the tattoo on her hip. After thinking about it for a moment, I realized that that must have been her Cutie mark and not a tattoo like I originally thought.

"Hiya B! How ya doooin'?" Pinkie Pie asked as my feet touched the ground. I assumed that Pinkie was currently wearing her work clothes since I couldn't recall anytime she wore a color as bland as brown.

"Bizarro am good. Talk with Twilight and Applejack earlier and it was nice. Now me need lunch and chocolate." I told her.

"Great. I'll be sure to give you something that'll fill ya right up, but first, would you mind doing me an ittibtytittywittysuperduperteenytiny favor?" She asked as she her pressed index finger and thumb against each other.

“Sure. What am Pinky need?” I asked as I walked over to Pinkie Pie.

“I just need to get rid of these... Scripts.” She told me as she held up a large cardboard box in front of her. The box itself was a brown and worn cardboard box that was painted the same color as Twilight’s skin and decorated with glitter and stickers with bright red words on it that I couldn't read.

“Scripts? You am actor?”

“Suuuure, let’s go with that.” She stated slowly as her eyes darted back left and right at a rapid speed. “Aaaannnyway, something came up and these are pretty much worthless now. Would you mind using your fire breath to incinerate them?
Likesoburntupnoponywillevereverbeabletoreadthemagainandcauseamasspanic?" She asked in one breath.

Burn scripts? Odd request, but why not? If she wants them gone it’s probably for a good reason.

“Ok.” I shrugged before she placed the box on the ground and got behind me to be safe from the fire.

Taking a deep breath in to prepare for the torrent of flames I would unleash, except I couldn't breath because I accidentally sucked up the box and ate it.

The box and papers flew down my throat instantly, defying any and all laws of physics as it scraped past the walls of my throat, sending me into a terrible coughing fit as a result. Thankfully, Pinkie Pie patted my back as I started coughing horribly after eating stacks of paper and cardboard by accident.

Mother fucking! Paper-cut in my throat! I thought as I continued to cough and hack furiously.

"Don't worry B, I'll get you some Chocolate milk licity-split." Pinkie Pie said as she dashed off into the confectionary building. After a few moments she came back outside with an entire pitcher of Chocolate milk with frozen marshmallows floating in it. I didn't question why or how as I drained the pitcher of sugary goodness almost instantaneously.

"Gee, I didn't think anypony could eat or drink as fast as I could." Pinkie Pie remarked as she pulled out another pitcher and handed it to me. Once again I drained the contents of the large glass without questioning why or how. Once the sweet throat cleaning goodness entered my system I removed the second pitcher from my lips and passed it back to Pinkie Pie.

"Thank Pinky."

"No prob, B. Sorry you had to go through that. I tried eating paper once too and it was terrible, no matter how much flour I put on it the Papier-mâché didn't taste any better. Are you still hungry?" She asked. Surprisingly, I actually wasn't hungry after that. The paper, despite having no nutritious value to speak of, filled me up as if I had eaten a steak with mashed potatoes on the side.

"No, no. Me am okay. Ugh, me never want to do that again." I lamented as I stood back up and patted my stomach.

"I don't think you'll have to, B. Oh, and a word of warning..." Pinkie Pie said sweetly before she pulled me close to her face and glared at me.

"The journals might be gone but that doesn't mean the story is. You do anything, ANYTHING, to ruin my happily ever after with Lil' Cheese and I WILL end you." She threatened cryptically before her cheerful disposition returned almost instantly and she patted me on the head. "But don't worry, I'm sure you won't do anything too bad. Just be your happy cheerful self and everything should be hunky dory. By-the-by, Rarity wants you to run over to Carousel Boutique for a bit, better not keep her waiting. Toodles.~" She said before she bounced back off to Sugarcube Corner gigging with each step.

I stood there, frozen in place as I watched Pinkie Pie prance off, both confused and completely petrified with fear by Pinkie Pie's weird threat. For some reason, after she said that, I felt a terrifying sense of dread wash over me setting off every warning signal in my brain. My fight or flight instincts were firing on all cylinders, screaming at me to run to safety, it was like when I found my Lightsaber but it was so much worse!

An instant after the door closed behind Pinkie Pie I bolted off over to Carousel Boutique to see what Rarity wanted. I needed to stay away from Pinkie Pie for a bit.

RARITY POV

The rhythmic sound of the several sewing machines I had running rang in the air in a perfect uniformity, creating a euphoric sound that filled the walls of my boutique and, as a bonus, drowned out the racket the two little troublemakers upstairs were getting into. As the machines continued to move with the help of my hands and my magic, the sewing needle pierced the fabric underneath, adding another feeling of euphoria to wash over me as I continued my work with passion.

The joy I felt from doing my work was almost more rewarding than the end product. Once the dress or other clothing apparel was complete the gorgeous sounds of machines and magic would unfortunately cease, leaving me to the silence of my boutique as I waited for the next inspiration to strike me like a runaway carriage. If only I could afford a custom recording crystal so that I could lull myself to sleep at night with the delightful sound of progress. But, for the time being, I would have to make due with falling asleep to the sounds of the ocean breeze slowly drifting across the crashing waves. A pity really.

The wonderful melody of my sewing machines was unfortunately drowned out by a cacophony of loud bangs on my door, accompanied by the panicked yells of somepony saying, "Rare-Tea! Rare-Tea! Rare-Tea! Rare-" which was then subsequently followed up by the sound of wood breaking as whomever was pounding against my door appeared to have broken a hole directly through it.

"Oops." Came the voice from the other side of my now broken door. Releasing a heavy sigh, I stood up and approached the front door of my Boutique. I kept a calm smile on my face as I prepared a list of insulting words to say to the deep voiced mare who dared to interrupt me and damage my property. However, once I reached the door and opened it, I blinked in surprise at the sight in front of me. Standing a few feet away from me was Bizarro holding his right hand sheepishly as he gave me a small worried smile.

"S-sorry for door, Rare-Tea." Bizarro apologized with a genuine look of guilt etched into his chiseled face. I felt my anger slowly drain as I looked more closely at Bizarro. He was shaking like a leaf and a sense of terror radiated from his body, it was as if he had just seen a demon or had been told his favorite mane care product was out of stock. Although I guess the second one wouldn't apply to a stallion such as Bizarro.

"It's fine Bizarro, but are you alright?" I asked him, to which he nodded his head and swallowed thickly.

"Y-yeah. Just... Thing happen and Bizarro were freaked out. But me okay now, me just react too big." He told me as his posture relaxed a bit. "Me hear you want see Bizarro?" Bizarro asked.

"Yes actually, your timing is impeccable and absolutely perfect. You see Bizarro, I am in desperate need of your assistance for a while. I'd hate to ask this of you, but would you mind watching over my sister and her friend while they attend Diamond Tiara's Cute-ceñera? I would do it but I have to get an order for a Canterlot client done so they don't throw a hissy-fit. I just need you to watch over them and make sure they don't do anything too crazy, that won't be a problem will it?" I asked sweetly.

I figured since everypony else I knew had work or was at the hospital, Bizarro would be the best solution to my small predicament. I desperately wanted Sweetie Belle to get out and meet new ponies her age, but I was too scared of what happened to Trixie and Bizarro the night prior to let her and Scootaloo leave without somepony there with them. I knew what loyal changelings of the Queen were capable of, I had witnessed it first hand before and didn't want something like that to happen to Sweetie Belle or her friend.

I also couldn't cancel an order for Moon Calf and Smell Feast and go with my sister and her friend to the party. Cancelling an order for a Canterlot Noble, no matter the reason, is not a good business decision to make in the long run, lest you actually want your business burned with words and arson.

Bizarro mulled over my small request for a moment before he nodded. "Sure. Bizarro am do that." He said with a nod of his head. I let loose a small squee as I hugged him for his generosity.

"Oh, thank you so much Bizarro, I owe you one." I told him before I broke off the hug.

"You no owe Bizarro. Me owe you for clothes and door." He said as he gestured to the aforementioned broken door. Taking a quick glance at the hole I was mildly surprised by the size of it. It wasn't as large as my face or anything, but I would definitely be able to fit both of my arms inside if I tried to.

I thought about what he said for a moment before I nodded. "Fine, we'll call it even then. In the meantime, let me fetch the little troublemakers for you. Oh Sweetie Belle~. Scootaloo~. Time to go to your party~." I called out in a singsong voice.

BIZARRO POV

The sound of two sets of footsteps echoed from the second floor and speedily approached the stairs before two small fillies came down with presents in their hands.

"So you're taking us?" The small white unicorn filly asked Rarity. The filly, who I assumed was Rarity's younger sister, had alabaster skin, emerald eyes, and a purple and pink mane and tail. She was wearing a pink short sleeve jacket over her pink and white stripped shirt, a a yellow frilly skirt that reached slightly below her knees, and a pair of pink dress shoes. She was clutching a small box neatly wrapped in pink wrapping paper close to her chest as she gave Rarity an expecting look.

"Unfortunately I can't dear." Rarity said as she let out a sigh. "I can't cancel these orders. But, worry not! I was able to convince a friend of mine to accompany you." Rarity continued as she gestured towards me. "He'll be able to accompany you two and make sure you're both safe. Now, run along, I have a tightly knit schedule to keep and a scarf I must knit." Rarity said as she gently pushed her sister and Scootallo out the door before she promptly closed it.

A short silence fell over our little group before a cough from Rarity's little sister broke it, giving her the opportunity to introduce herself. "Um... Hi, I'm Sweetie Belle."

"Hello, am nice to meet you." I said as I gave her a big smile, hoping that it would decrease the odd sense of tension in the air. My opened tooth smile seemed to have the opposite effect however as Rarity's sister recoiled slightly at the sight of my mangled and crooked teeth. I should probably go to the dentist at some point.

Scootallo rolled her eyes and walked over to me while she held her weirdly shaped newspaper wrapped present under her arm. Scootallo was an orange pegasus filly with a messy purple mane and tail done up like Rainbow Dash's hair style. She was wearing a black zip-up hoodie, a pair of dark green cargo pants, and two black sneakers with rainbow themes shoelaces which were tied in strange knots that told me she didn't really know how to tie them properly.

"Sup Big-B?" Scootalloo asked as she held out a fist prompting me to give her a fist bump.

"Wait, you're Bizarro?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yes. You am know Bizarro?" I asked.

"Yeah, Scootaloo was going on and on about how you nearly beat Rainbow Dash. The only other pony she's ever talked about so much is Rainbow Dash." She stated.

"Only because she's the coolest mare ever!" Scootalloo defended.I chuckled as Scootaloo puffed out her cheeks adorably and pouted, crossing her arms like a child.

"So, you two am know each other?" I asked the duo. Sweetie Belle nodded and wrapped an arm around her pouting friend's shoulders.

"We were best friends in Manehatten. We're both transferring to Ponyville's Schoolhouse for the next two years. Scootaloo went almost two months early because-"

"Because Rainbow Dash was here and she's awesome."

"-Because she's a total fanfilly." Sweetie Belle teased, prompting Scootalloo to stick her tongue out at her. "I wanted to spend some more time with my parents before I left, so I just got here this morning."

"And now we get to go to a Cute-ceañera for somepony we barely even know." Scootaloo pouted as she looked at her shoes. "We'll be the only ones there without Cutie marks." She said as she kicked a pebble.

"You still haven't gotten yours?" Sweetie Belle asked, causing Scootaloo to shake her head angrily.

"Of course I didn't. GAH! I wish we just got them already." Scootalloo lamented before she walked around me. "Come on, let's just get this over with." Scootaloo said as she walked down the dirt street with me and Sweetie Belle following closely behind her.

"So, what am party for?" I asked the young duo.

"It's somepony's Cute-ceañera." Scootaloo informed me. "I've never met her before, but my second cousin is going there. I'm living with her and my first cousin once removed for now, and I figured that I might as well learn about Dinky's friends. Though they'll all probably laugh at us..."

"Why they do that?"

"Because we don't have our Cutie marks." Scootaloo admitted.

"Why girls want marks so badly?"

"Because it's a sign of maturity and symbolizes who you are." Sweetie Belle explained. "Earning your Cutie mark is a right of passage that separates the foals from the adults."

"Yeah! When we get them, we'll be able to do whatever we want! No more adults telling us what to do cause we'll be the adults!" Scootaloo said happily.

“Being adult am not all it am cracked up to be." I told them. Scootaloo scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

"That's because you forgot what it's like to be a colt. You're a full grown stallion, you get to do whatever you want."

"That no true. Bizarro still need follow rules like you, in fact Bizarro am miss being young, lots of adults am miss it. Let Bizarro tell you what me mom told me when me was younger.” I told them. Sweetie Belle and Scootallo turned to me and nodded their heads, waiting for my words of wisdom.

“Liife... am like toilet paper.” I stated firmly. Both of them gave me a bemused look, as if I said the dumbest thing ever.

“What?” Scootaloo asked.

“Life am like toilet paper. It am start off slow and stick to itself, and take long time to move. But, near end of roll it am fast and soon it am gone. Time am move different for kids. It am slow and long, but for adults it am fast and gone too soon. Enjoy slow toilet paper because life go too fast when you am older.” I explained.

“So… We should enjoy not having a Cutie mark?” Sweetie Bell asked.

“Yes and no. Me am say enjoy being young. You can enjoy marks, but enjoy rest of childhood too. What am you do for fun?”

“I like to sing.” Sweetie Bell said.

“I like using my scooter.” Scotalloo said cheerfully before she quickly became disheartened. “But those aren’t our special talents. I’ve riden my Scooter to the Everfree and back, and Sweetie Belle sings every other day.”

“So? They no have to be special talent for you to like. Bizarro am bad at chess, but me like playing even when me lose. You am full of potential, world am your oyster.”

“What does that mean?” Scootaloo asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It am mean possibilities am endless. You am have time to try everything, experience new things, living life, and having fun.” I explained happily, hoping that they understood what I was trying to say.

“Try everything… Like, looking for what makes us special by searching for our talents?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah! That sounds awesome. Oh, maybe we could be like a Cutie mark searching duo!” Scootaloo eagerly tagged on.

“Um, that am not exactly what me mean...” I tried to tell them, however it seemed that my efforts to explain what I meant fell on deaf ears as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo kept talking.

“Maybe we could be called the Cutasticly Fantastic.” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Oh, maybe the Cutie mark duo?”

“What about the Cutie mark Acquisition Program?"

"Hmmmm. Nah, that one doesn’t work quiet well either. Let’s workshop it on the way to Diamond Tiara’s Cute-ceañera. Oh, we could get our name making Cutie marks!” Scootaloo suggested as she and Sweetie Belle walked towards Sugarcube Corner. I simply shook my head and followed the duo as they walked aead of me.

We walked the rest of the way in relative silence, broken only by a few questions asked by Sweetie Belle about the symbol on my chest. They both had better reactions than Appleboom did when I told her about my lack of a Cutie mark, which is to say they were sill terrified by that fact but didn't scream and run away in horror.

Despite the party being in Pinkie Pie's lion den, I actually had a pretty good time. Pinkie Pie was back to her totally fun and lovable self when we entered the establishment, as if that intense moment earlier never even happened, a moment that I would try to forget unless I wanted it to haunt my non-existent dreams.

The toe tapping cheerful music was playing on a minute loop and being projected from an old gramophone in the corner that, for some reason, was hooked up to a small modern black speaker. With the party in full swing the guest of honor made their way down the stairs and the festivities began.

After walking over to the punch bowl I grabbed the ladle and refilled my cup and Scootaloo's cup. While Sweetie Belle was taking dainty little sips of her beverage, Scootaloo was drinking them like a sugar addict. Once I filled up the cups and turned towards the table I nearly dropped them both when I noticed neither of the fillies were at the table.

"Sweety Bell? Scooter?" I asked as I looked around for the pair of young ponies.

"Sweety Bell? Scooter?" I asked again with a little more urgency and worry in my voice.

"Howdy, Bizarre." Applejack said from behind me, prompting me to turn around and face her.

"Hi Applejack. Am you see where Sweety Bell and Scooter go?"

"Can't say I 'ave. I just got here a hot sec ago. Bumped inta Applebloom when I got in. She's wit her friends right no—" Applejack started to say before she looked over at her little sister struggling not to cry as two other fillies were pointing at her and laughing.

I felt a pang of anger rage through me as I looked at the scene in front of me, something I was sure Applejack felt too as she looked at her sister being bullied. Before either of us could take a step forward however, Scootaloo shouted.

"You got a problem with Blank Flanks?" She asked loudly. Applejack and I turned out heads to a punch table right next to the door where Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were hiding.

"The problem is, it means she's totally not special." The grey filly with white hair commented.

"No, it means she's full of potential." Sweetie Belle interjected as she and Scootaloo stood by Applebloom. A small smile crept onto my face as I watched the scene unfold.

"It means she can be anything, the possibilities are endless. She has time to try everything, experience new things, living life, and having fun. The world's her oyster." Scootaloo said to the two bullies before she turned her attention to the crowd. "She could be anything, and she can do anything to find out what her special talent is. All the Blank Flanks can." She stated proudly as she wrapped an arm around Applebloom's shoulder.

"Yeah, and she's not stuck as being stuck up like you." Sweetie Belle chimed in while also wrapping an arm around Applebloom.

"Ugh! This is MY Party! I won't let you talk to me like that!" The pink filly shouted at the group.

"Then maybe it am time we go." I added in after seeing Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo stand up for Applebloom. "We am go throw own party. With cards and cartoons." I said as I scooped up Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. "You want tag along Bloom?" I asked Applebloom, causing her to nod and hop on my back like a monkey.

Using my telescope vision I was able to see Applejack shoot a glare at the bullies before following us outside.

"Ya know what really sucks about bein' an adult?" Applejack asked.

"That you can no hit children?" I guessed.

"That I can't hit a filly." Applejack agreed with a nod of her head.

"I can hit her!" Scootaloo eagerly suggested before Applejack and I shot her a glare. "Um... It was a joke? Oh! Maybe I can get my comedy Cutie mark!"

"So wait. Ya'll don't have yer Cutie mark's neither?" Applebloom asked the duo in my arms.

"No. But we're trying to find them. Scootaloo and I even started a secret society for trying to find our Cutie marks." Sweetie Belle told her as she peered over my shoulder.

"Like some kinda crusaders?" Applebloom asked.

"Crusaders... I like that!" Scootaloo exclaimed. I chuckled at the groups antics as they shot ideas back and forth about Cutie marks and how to get them. Even if they didn't get my explanation totally, they at least understood the aspect of enjoying their childhood.

After letting the three fillies off of me so they could play in the park, Applejack and I sat on a bench and watched them as they tried getting their sand castle Cutie marks. It filled me with a warm sensation in my chest to see them all so happy without a care in the world. Memories of the book Catcher in the Rye flashed in my mind as I looked at them having fun, I finally understood that book's message about innocence and purity.

For those three, there was nothing wrong with the world. They weren't afraid of death or involved in politics or even worried about getting a job, they were just focused on laughing and having a good time. It made me long for the days when I was a child, playing in the park, climbing up the slides backwards, watching cartoons all Saturday. Life was so much simpler back then and I missed it dearly.

My peaceful reminiscing was cut short however when I heard a strange voice say my name.

“Bizarro…” Somepony called out. I turned around to look for the stallion who called out my name, but was surprised when I didn’t see anypony taking too much interest in me. “Bizarro… Come to the castle…” The mysterious Stallion called out again. I spun around as I looked for the stallion, I expected him to be a few inches away from my face since his voice was whispering into my ears. However, there was nopony near near me except Applejack, who was looking at the group of fillies with a warm smile on her face.

“You must travel to the castle of the Two Sisters, deep within the Everfree Forest…” The mysterious stranger continued to call out to me.

I felt the desire to run away swell up inside my chest, to grab the girls and fly away as fast as I could. It was a clear sign that I shouldn't heed the words of the stranger, but for some reason my mind and body were struggling to cooperate. As my body struggled to move and run until the voice was gone, my mind was whispering me sweet nothings about how good of an idea it was. The small voice in my head steadily grew, becoming a shout that reverberated inside of my skull several times until all of my thoughts were consumed by one word.

FOLLOW.

"Hey, Applejack." I called out to her causing her to turn and look at me.

"Bizarro need to... do thing. Am you watch fillies?" I asked.

"Sure, I'll keep an eye on 'em. Do whatever ya need ta." She told me. I quickly thanked her before I diverted from the group.

With great trepidation and an unwillingness to leave the safety net of friends I had with me, I left the park and made my way towards the woods. I walked with a slow pace like a man on Death row, cursing every foot step I took against my better judgment.

Deciding to circumvent the dirt path through the dangerous woods, I flew over the tree tops as I looked for the castle. After a few hours of searching and burning daylight I finally came across a large castle buried deep within the forest. The sun was just dipping under the horizon, allowing the twilight of night to reveal the castle before the night slowly started to encroach on the sky.

As I flew down to the decrepit ruins of the castle I was able to smell something in the air, something that had been lingering for a long long time. It was a strange smell to describe, it was almost like blood soaked cardboard and mold with a hint of something stale.

Flying through one of the holes in the roof I found myself in a decrepit throne room with two thrones atop a large staircase. One of the thrones was dark and perstine, made of a black stone that was covered in a purple velvet that had worn down from the weather, while the other throne was almost completely unrecognizable. The only hint of a throne being there was the seat and a shilouette of the throne's back burnt into the wall behind it.

The strange odor grew stronger but was now acccompanied by another scent, the burning stentch of sulfur and chlorine. The smell was so aggressive that I nearly wretched when the offending scent hit my nostrials.

“Hello Bizarro.” A mysterious voice called out from everywhere at once. I tried to listen for a heart beat, breathing, footsteps, any sound that could tell me where he was. But I couldn’t hear anything.

“Who am you? Am you bug!? Show self!” I demanded. Suddenly, I heard the sound of breathing behind me, but it sounded like… Oh god…

“I am here.” The terrifyingly familiar deep voice called out. I turned around fearfully, dreading the possibility that I was about to come face to face with the man who had plagued my mind for several weeks. Standing a few yards away from me in the doorway of the throne room was the ghostly apparition one of the most intimidating villains in fiction.

“And as for who I am, I believe that is obvious. I am Darth Vader.”

Author's Note

Bizarro am no Superman.

BIZARRO POV

The chilling wind that blew through the decrepit castle stood deathly still as I looked at the ghostly visage of Darth Vader in both complete fear and utter horror. The ghostly apparition stood up to about my height, if not taller by an inch or two, and was dressed in an intimidating moon themed version of the original Darth Vader’s armor.

His black armor glistened in the moonlight and had highlights of silver and purple that danced across his body like an intricate maze. His clunky control chest piece was completely gone, replaced by the image of a red crescent moon that matched the silver crescent moons on his belt buckle. An etherial cloak of glistening stars swayed majestically in an unfelt wind behind him, hiding his arms and most of his upper body as he looked at me. His final and most intimidating feature were the two bright red bulbous eyes of his mask that pierced my soul like a knife, making the already frigid interior of the castle feel immensely colder.

“Y-you am real?” I stammered as I looked at the pale-blue transparent spirit of Darth Vader standing in the moonlight.

“Yes Bizarro, I am real. I am as real as you and the people that inhabit this world.“ He told me as he took a step forward.

“N-no! You am no real! You am imaginary!” I screamed out in defiance. In a moment of weakness and fear, I attempted to fly away from Darth Vader's ghost. My escape attempt completely failed however when I felt an invisible force slam me into the floor of the castle, I struggled against my invisible chains as Darth Vader’s spirit slowly approached.

“You have nothing to fear, Bizarro. Yes, I am Darth Vader, but I am not the one you know from Star Wars.” He told me calmly. I stopped struggling as I realized that he was talking about the franchise, meaning that he wasn't the original Darth Vader. Which meant...

“Then… You am like Bizarro?” I asked him as I felt what I could only assume was Darth Vader’s force powers slowly fade away. After I was freed from his grip I slowly stood back up and looked at him.

“Correct. I am a human, like you, who was cast into Equestria many years ago.” He explained.

“B-But, Bizarro am ask about Darth Vader, and nopony know you.” I stammered.

“That is because I hail from a different Equestria than you. Where your Equestria is on Equis mine was located on a planet called Terra that had two moons.” He explained as he sat down cross legged and gestured for me to follow suit. I decided to to sit down and listen to him, hoping he could answer at lest a few of my questions.

“How am that possible?”

“Multiverse theory. You see, Bizarro, you already know most of my story because it is similar to yours. I was an average man going to a costume party when I met the Trader."

"Trader?" I accidentally interrupted. Thankfully, the Sith Lord didn’t seem upset by my sudden question.

"Yes, a woman similar to the Merchant. While the Merchant sells items to people, the Trader will give their target an offer to exchange something worthless for something valuable. For example, she offered me a better Lightsaber in exchange for a bag of chips. Once I accepted her odd deal, I was whisked away to human version of Equestria a month before the beginning of Season one.

“I used my knowledge of the show to make the world a better place. I saved Luna and Nightmare Moon, and eventually married the latter after she caught Cadence's bouquet at her wedding. Hmphmhm. Much to the chagrin of a certain fabulous fashionista, I might add. Thankfully, Rarity did forgive her once she was chosen to be a bridesmaid for our wedding." Darth Vader recalled fondly.

"I also took on two personal apprentices and trained the other Elements of Harmony in the ways of the Harmonic side of the force, freed the Crystal Empire of Sombra and became their Sith Lord, which was not fun at all. Personally, I hated the snow, it just gets everywhere and is so cold and damp.

"Anyway, after that, I led a revolution in Griffonstone against a corrupt Jedi order, killed the Changeling Queen who dared to ruin my technical niece's wedding, and… was betrayed... In the end, I battled Starlight Glimmer across the multiverse before I was deleted." He said with a heavy tone of melancholy in his voice before his mask morphed and burned with an unyielding rage.

"I had just jumped through the dimensional tear when it happened. A greater power than I deemed me unworthy of life and deleted me... and... and my home." Darth Vader's fists clenched in both anger and grief as he continued speaking.

"I attempted to fight back, and even worked with Starlight in the end. But, we were no match for them..."

"Who am they?" I asked.

"I... I am not sure... Some universes have these... 'Gods' who possess the ability to manipulate reality on a whim. Mine called himself an Author and stated that he grew bored of my life. I do not know if every dimension has these demons, but I have seen a few that shared my fate. Worlds destroyed by their supposed creators with no remorse.

“My Author, Oak Frost, put me through terrible pains, killed my friends, created massive wars that wiped out the dragons, and forced me to watch a once good friend turn truly evil.” He said, as a gust of wind began to swirl around him. “She and Starlight wiped out the dragons, the only nonhuman race on the planet, stole Luna's Cutie mark, and used a mystical artifact to rip a hole in time for Starlight. And when all was said and done, the Author didn’t even have the decency to give me a happily ever after.

"They Deleted me… my world… my friends…. They wiped the slate clean because they were bored with us, or perhaps even ashamed of us. We did not live up to their expectations, and... And they decided to get rid of us!” He yelled, releasing a massive blast of wind in every direction as he went into an almost blind rage at the nearby area. I left him alone as I gave him time to calm down and collect himself before I asked any more questions. Once he seemed to calm down a little, I asked him one of most prominent questions on my mind.

“What am you mean when you say ‘Deleted’?” I asked. Darth Vader remained silent for a few minutes before he answered.

“There are six technical states of a Displaced with two being benign states of being.” He explained. “The other states are far worse, they are the ones who are turned into the Hiatus, Hidden, Cancelled, or the Deleted. Hiatus Displaced are frozen in time until their story continues. There are some Displaced I remember fondly who are unfortunately still stuck in time’s frozen grasp because time has refused to move. Hidden Displaced's are people whose worlds have been cut off from the multiverse, locked away in a dimensional barrier that can only be accessed with a special key phrase. As for Deleted or Cancelled Displaced…. It’s much worse than a Hiatus Displaced…

"When a Displaced is Deleted or Cancelled they are usually sent back to Earth either as themselves, someone else, or as a slightly different version of their old self at some point in time near their initial purchase or trade. Some will have memories of their lives in the multiverse, while others forget and wake up in a hospital, blaming their sudden black out on exhaustion. Some will then live the rest of their normal lives in peace while others will run into the Merchant or some other Displacer a second or even third time."

"So... If Bizarro die, me go home?" I asked with both trepidation and hope prominent in my voice. If I could go home then would I be able to kill myself to do it?

I didn't have to wonder about that however, as my slight hope was quickly dashed away when Darth Vader shook his head and explained the problem with my theory.

"It is not that easy, Bizarro. Even if you die that will not be the end of your story. In fact, very few Displaced I know of actually ‘die’ and when they do they are usually brought back sometime between a day to one thousand years, almost like comic book characters. You can only receive the possible opportunity return to Earth if you die heroically in battle or sacrifice yourself for others. And that is a big if, I only know of two Displaced that were given such an offer, and both stayed in Equestria, much to my disdain. Besides, dying is not the same as being Cancelled or Deleted. And, as you can see, not every Deleted Displaced returns home.” He said as he gestured to his ghostly body.

"I knew I wouldn’t be fortunate enough to return home, and I refused to submit to the whims of my author, so I chose a different option and I cheated the system. I decided to live and stay Deleted. You see, when a Displaced is Deleted or Cancelled their Tokens cease to function. However, I was able to pour the rest of my Force essence and magic into my Token, allowing me to connect a fraction of my spirit to every version of my Lightsaber across the multiverse, creating an infinite amount of my selves who could continue on my work. It was a painful procedure to essentially turn myself into a series of cloned ghosts. Some versions of myself are more knowledgeable, emotional, or stable than others, and some will have no memory of my past life, or may have contradicting memories, even so they can still complete the task I assigned ourselves. I knew that I was not long for my world, so I decided the best thing to do would be to spread my knowledge so that I may save other Equestrias.”

"What am you mean?" I asked.

"It is our purpose in life, Bizarro; to protect these worlds and save them. I failed to protect mine, and I refuse to let another fall when I can help. You are the first I have made contact with, and I hope my scattered soul can spread my wisdom to all others as well. And now, I must impart my wisdom to you.” He said as he stood up and looked down at me.

“There are many worlds out there Bizarro, worlds like yours, like mine, peaceful worlds and worlds of suffering and pain. Worlds that need heroes like you and I, Bizarro. With your permission, I am going to make you a hero of those worlds, a hero of this world. I will teach you how to be summoned to those realities when called upon for aid, but only if you agree to it. Be warned Bizarro, not every world is as peaceful as this one.” He informed me.

I thought about what he was offering. I’d basically be sending myself out there to fight someone else’s wars, fight for people I didn’t even know, and most likely have to fight a few familiar faces that terrified me. I did not want the chance of running into a Predator or a Xenomorph out there. But, my fears were quickly quelled when I thought about Earth. How many people suffered, how many fought to save themselves and others, how many of them hoped for a Superman to come and save the day?

Trixie needed a Superman too... She needed me and I wasn't there...

Doubt slowly crept into my mind as I thought about Trixie, about how she needed me. About how much everyone else would need help. It was no longer a question of should I, but a question of Could I? I was already struggling with the memories of killing that changeling in the Everfree Forest, and I was able to justify that as killing a monster. What about people, ponies, beings that weren't inherently monsters. Would I be able to... To kill them? Could I handle that, the responsibility of choosing who could live and die?

Yes, you can. You have the power, use it. My mind finally reasoned, though it felt wrong, it felt like I was telling myself a lie I wanted to believe. I didn't think I could do it. But if I didn't then who would?

I might not have been Superman, hell, I wasn’t even really Bizarro. But, if I had the power to help others and be there in their time of desperate need then who was I to refuse the call to action? I was given power beyond my wildest dreams and abilities that made me one of the most powerful beings on this strange new planet. And with great power, comes an even greater responsibility to use it wisely.

“Bizarro do it.” I told him confidently as I stood up a bit straighter. My expression hardened as I tried to push out any doubt in my mind. There wasn't any time for doubt or second guesses, I needed to step up and accept my new responsibility.

“Excellent. Select an item you hold dear to yourself and can possibly help others if needed.” He told me. I thought about what I should use as a Token before I decided on just using my Kryptonian ring and lead ring box. It could at least be more useful than a stone slab with my new name on it.

“Very good. With luck, other Dimensions can use it against their enemies. I can only imagine the horrors that an evil Superman or Supergirl Displaced could unleash upon unsuspecting ponies and Displaced. Now, hold your Token close to you and recite a creed to let all others know where your loyalties lie and what your intentions are. Once you’ve done that, throw your Token anywhere, and a portal will open up to swallow it.” He explained. I nodded and held my ring box next to my heart.

I took a moment to think of the most inspirational thing I could say, something that would let people know I wasn’t just a dumb bad guy like Bizarro; I also needed everyone out there to know that I wasn’t just some wall of muscle that could be pointed at an enemy, I needed them to see me as an ally and not as a weapon or a tool.

Not only that, but I needed them to know that I was serious about being a hero. They could interpret my words in Bizarro speak and think I’m a bad guy when I’d claim to want to be a hero. And if I did use Bizarro speak, a lot of them could take my claims to being a bad guy literally and refuse my help, or maybe even summon me so they could attack me on the spot. Doubts about my decision started to creep back to the forefront of my mind as Darth Vader silently waited for me. More worries and fears began to fight their way to my brain, convincing me that this wasn't what i wanted, until they suddenly melted away and I was struck with a newfound sense of courage and inspiration.

I thought of the perfect thing to prove to everyone out there that I’d honor my word and be a hero. An unbroken law that bonds all of the dimensions, and something that I was certain existed in every Equestria. And, if my hunch was right, everyone out there would know the severity of my words and how seriously I would uphold my oath. Taking a deep breath, I prepared to say my mantra, my claims, and most importantly, my promise.

“Bizarro am here to help! Bizarro am punch baddies in face and save trees from kittens. If you am need help to save innocent, me am be there to do it! Me Pinkie Promise. Cross me heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Bizarro eye.” I said before I chucked the ring box forward into a portal that suddenly materialized. As soon as the ring box hit the portal it multiplied into dozens of ring boxes that were scattered across time and space. When the portal finally closed, another smaller portal opened and dropped my original lead ring box in to my hand.

“A Pinkie Promise… I must say, I have not heard of other Displaced using that in their mantra… You’ve impressed me Bizarro.” Darth Vader told me as he nodded approvingly.

“Thank you, Vader.” I told the ghostly apparition.

“No, thank you Bizarro. I feel relieved knowing the multiverse has people like you in it. For now, I must go, I’m afraid my time is not long as I am losing both magic and Force energy."

"Wait! Will me see you again?" I asked him. To my relief, Darth Vader nodded his head as he walked into the rays of moonlight leaking through the ceiling.

"Yes. Now that my Token is in this world I am bound to this reality, the only thing that shall remove me is the destruction of my Token. I must tell you though, you must find my Token as soon as possible, I sense a disturbing force near it. I will return to you when I'm strong enough to speak with you again, Bizarro, and together we shall make this world perfect. Until next time, may Harmony be with you…” He said as he slowly faded out of existence.

I stood there silently as the minutes threatened to turn into an hour before I turned around and made my way back to Ponyville with a newfound determination burning inside of me. If I had these powers then I'd use them to protect and help anyone I could, starting with my new friends in this crazy world.

Look out world, here comes Bizarro.

Author's Note

Bizarro’s Token: A lead ring box with a glowing Kryptonite Ring on a red velvet bed.

Bizarro’s mantra to be summoned. “Bizarro am here to help! Bizarro am punch baddies in face and save trees from kittens. If you am need help to save innocent, me am be there to do it! Me Pinkie Promise. Cross me heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Bizarro eye.”

Token : Nightmare Saber.
Description: A black and silver cylindrical handle with a few nobs that adjusted the power and the length of the blade. The pommel of the blade had a small metal ring attached to it, allowing the user to hook it to their belt. Finally, an engraving of a crescent moon is carved into the handle near one of the aforementioned nobs. Is a red blade when activated but can change colors depending on the DIsplaced’s preferences.

“I am Darth Vader. I am the Sith Lord of the Crystal Empire and Griffonstone, Slayer of the false Changeling Queen, husband of Nightmare Moon, Sith Master to the Elements of Harmony, and teacher to the Prodigy Padawans, Spike the Dark Dragon and Twilight the Night Terror. Should you require my aid simply call upon me and I will assist you. However, if you plan to manipulate me and use me to attack those with kindness and purity in their hearts, I will cut you down. You have been warned. So says Darth Vader, the one true Sith Lord of Terra.”

Once Darth Vader is summoned, he is there forever unless his Token is destroyed, which can be left up to the writer's interpretation. For some, if so much as a screw is changed it is considered destroyed while others may need to tear it apart entirely for it to be considered broken. Darth Vader is my gift to the writers and readers who found my story. If you choose to summon him then you have free reign to do with him as you please since every fraction of his soul can be considered a different person. Whether they will be good, bad, or immoral will all be up to the individual writer who chooses to summon him.

Home and Hearth.

BIZZARO POV

The sound of light giggling invaded my ears in the early morning as several soft feminine voices shushed each other quietly. The nearly silent adorable laughter slowly stirred me from my sleep, giving me enough energy to focus on the sweet sound and the feeling of air filling my lungs as I breathed. I unconsciously snuggled deeper underneath the covers of my bed, tucking my legs into my stomach so my boots wouldn’t stick out from the other side of the comfortable blanket.

I let out a content sigh as I laid there peacefully and slowly drifted back to sleep. The weight of the blankets felt amazing, giving me an odd sense of comfort and safety as they covered my body, relaxing my mind while they were pressed against my costume. I got even more comfortable under the blankets by holding my Bizarro medallion closer to my chest in a tight embrace as I hugged it like a stuffed animal.

The weight of my heavy eyelids allowed them to remained firmly shut as the tiny giggles continued before the squeak of an old door hinge told me that they were finally gone. I laid in bed comfortably for a few more minutes before my muscles started to feel stiff, forcing me to move them as I lifted myself out of my warm and comfortable blanket cocoon.

I opened my eyes lazily as I looked at Applejack’s guest bedroom, I hadn't noticed the last night but it looked like somepony replaced the green wallpaper while I was out. The new wallpaper was a lot brighter and was a pattern of avocado and pear colored horizontal stripes that bathed the room in color. I also noticed that the holes in the tarps over the windows were patched up with random pieces of fabric. I enjoyed the new look of the room, the family must have been hard at work when I was out talking to Twilight and going to that party. The fact that I didn't notice how different it was spoke volumes to the fatigue I felt after talking to Darth Vader. I was so exhausted that I didn't even bother changing out of my costume when I got back to the room. Thankfully, that was all fixed by a good night of sleep.

I had thought of striping down when I went to sleep, but decided against it since my clothes made me feel... Safe? I know it's weird but they just felt relaxing, like it was a set of armor I was protected by. It didn't hurt that I was pretty sure the suit was bullet proof like Superman's was, so in a sense it was better than armor.

As I stretched my arms out I heard my bones pop for a brief moment with each stretch creating a orchestra of popping noises as I continued my morning routine. Running my tongue over my teeth, I tasted the horrible sensation of morning mouth followed by morning breath. I would definitely need to invest in a tooth brush or mouth wash at some point.

When I took in a deep breath the familiar smell of bacon and coffee greeted my nose, along with the smell of something stronger that I couldn’t quiet place. The smell of delicious food gave me the last burst of strength and will power I needed to get out of bed and start the day.

I threw the blanket off of my my legs and kicked them over the edge of the bed, causing the old springs of the mattress to groan as my weight shifted. Once my feet touched the ground, the floorboards also started to scream in protest at the additional weight added onto them. I then proceeded to pull my crimson cape out from under my pillow and attached it to my costume, the button locks snapping into place as I applied a small amount of pressure to them.

Making my way to the door with all of the gracefulness of a reanimated corpse, I reached for the door and opened and walked down the hall. When I reached the stairs at the end of the hall I graciously stumbled down then, my feet hitting each step with a strong force as I caught myself, I made my way into the kitchen where the trio of fillies, Applejack, and Granny Smith were.

Taking a free seat next to Applejack I smiled as Granny Smith placed a plate of bacon and apple pancakes in front of me.

“Thank Granny.” I quickly said to Granny Smith.

"Yer welcome Bizarro, help yerself ta seconds if ya want any." Granny Smith said as she nodded appreciatively. Soon after that she left the kitchen with a ball of red yarn in her hands and I started devouring my heaven sent breakfast. I quickly shoveled the food into my mouth to fill my nearly empty stomach, going to sleep without having dinner was definitely not a good idea on my part. I was so absorbed by the mouth watering food that I didn’t notice the giggles from the three fillies or the odd look Applejack was shooting me.

“Uh, Bizarre?” Applejack asked, causing me to divert some attention away from my breakfast as I continued to eat.

“Did ya look at yerself in the mirror this morning?” She asked. I paused for a moment as the fillies began to really struggle with their laughter. While two of the trio were literally biting their lips to stop their laughter.

After licking my thumb and rubbing it on my face, I was able to see a splotch of fresh ink on my thumb. I grabbed one of the spoons off of the table to look at my inverted and misshapen reflection, allowing me to see a black circle around each eye.

I was a little upset at first, but that was quickly drowned out by the amusement I felt at looking at the three mischievous fillies. I soon found myself in a similar predicament to Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo as I struggled not to laugh, which eventually broke their resolve as they went into a chorus of laughter, thus breaking my own resolve as I laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

“Alright, who am wise mare?” I asked jokingly. Instantly Applebloom and Sweetie Belle pointed a finger at Scootaloo.

“T-traitors!” Scootaloo shouted in mock anger as she attempted to stop laughing long enough to talk.

A small smile wormed it’s way onto Applejack’s face as she took a sip of her black coffee as she watched the scene carry on like a passive observer. We continued to laugh like idiots for a bit before we finally settled down after I wiped the ink off of my face with a washcloth from the sink.

“Hey Mr. Zarro,” Applebloom said as she took a bite out of her pancakes. “I was just wonderin’, where’d ya go yesterday? Ya didn’t come back ta the farm till way past bedtime.”

“And how would you know that?” Applejack asked as she took another sip of her coffee. “Ya did go ta sleep at bedtime, right sis?” She rhetorically asked with an all knowing raise of her eyebrow.

Applebloom lowered her head a little as she looked at her sister with worrying eyes before Applejack chuckled. “Relax Sugarcube, I’m only messin’ witcha. Though, I do have ta agree with Applebloom on this one Bizarre, where the heck’d ya go yesterday?” Applejack asked me.

“Um…” I said as I hesitated. How could I tell them that I met the ghost of a Sith Lord and has a nice conversation with him?

Thankfully, Applejack dropped the issue as she shrugged and turned back to her coffee. “Ya don’t ‘ave ta tell me if ya don’t wanna, Bizarre, just tell me how long you’ll be gone next time. We were all a li'l worried about you.” She told me. I nodded my head my head as I agreed to at least tell her that much next time, if I knew how long I’d be gone at least.

“Ok. Me sorry Bizarro worry you.”

“It’s alright, Bizarre. Now eat up, breakfast is gettin’ cold.”

“Thank Applejack.” I told her as I took a delicious bite of my bacon, savoring the crunchy goodness as the flavor danced on my tongue.

Through the kitchen window above the sink I could Big Mac working on the fields picking apples from the trees. A quick use of super hearing confirmed that Granny Smith was inside the parlor knitting while she rocked back and forth on a rickety chair. I wilted a little bit as I heard her slow heart beat in near synchronization with the ticks of the second hand on the clock. I wasn’t sure how fast an old woman’s heart should beat, let alone if it was the same for mares, but the slow rate of her beating heart made me uneasy.

It reminded me just how old she was, and how much longer she’d be around for Applebloom, Applejack, and Big Mac. I was lucky to have my Grandma on my father’s side and my Great Grandma on my mother’s side lived to their early 90s before they left, but it still hurt when they were gone, it hurt Lilly the worst however.

While I was old enough to understand death and know that their time was near, Lilly was too young to understand and not emotionally mature enough to lose her Great Grandma and Grandma in the span of two years. The worst was when Grandma Pepper died.

It still haunted me to think about my last moments with Grandma. She was living all the way in Portland, Maine when she got really sick and we didn’t have any time to buy a train ticket and see her before she passed away. A few hours before she died my uncle put a phone next to her so Lilly and I could tell her how much we loved her.

The slow and raspy breathing from the other side of the phone was haunting, her throat struggling to let air in as she listened to us speak. She didn’t even have enough strength to talk back when we called her, and our uncle wasn’t even sure if she was awake since she lost the energy to open her eyes a day prior. But the way she breathed when we spoke told me she knew we were talking, her weak breathing turning into painful wheezes as we talked about how we’d see her soon when we went up to meet her.

She died later that night after getting a call from her best friend in New York, my uncle thought she was waiting to say goodbye to us and her friend before she decided to leave.

My thoughts of the past were interrupted as Applejack tapped me on the shoulder, breaking me out of my daze as I looked at her. A concerned look was etched on her face, as well as the three fillies in the room who all looked at me with worried eyes.

“Ya’ll okay, Bizarre?” Applejack asked me. I nodded my head as I tried to chase away the thoughts that had lingered moments ago.

“Y-yeah. Me just remember something… It not important.” I told her as I continued to eat my breakfast with a little less enthusiasm. Applejack and the others clearly weren’t convinced but decided to drop it for the time being as they returned to their own meals. Regular conversation started up again soon thankfully, filling the air with something more than the sound of silverware hitting plates.

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were talking to each other about what types of Cutie marks they could try to get, making a list with the first one being a "list making Cutie mark"' I jokingly said they could get their Cutie mark searching Cutie marks, which got a good laugh out of everyone present.

"Hey Bizarre, ya mind walkin' Sweetie Belle home while I take Scoots to her relatives? I know Rarity wants ta see ya so she can get ya some new threads." Applejack told me. “Winter’s gonna start up soon, so she figured ya might wanna go over an' get something comfy ta wear for the weather. The pegasi are plannin’ on startin’ this winter off with a pretty chilly storm. Ah think we’d all hate fer ya ta be out there an get sick cause of it.”

"Hmm. Me could use more clothes." I said as I took a tentative sniff of my costume and recoiled in disgust.

Dammit! Why don't I learn!? I inwardly groaned as I nearly gagged at the offending odor.

"She might alsa make ya somethin' festive fer the holidays." Applebloom added on.

"Holidays?" I asked.

"Yeah, Hearth's Warming, the time when all the pony races came together to fight off the wendigo. Didn't you celebrate it before?" Scootaloo asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"No, am it like Christmas?"

"What's that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"It am holiday back home. Fat stallion named Santa Clause am climb through your chimney and place presents in trees and stockings.” I explained.

"So ya have a holiday where a stallion breaks into yer house, puts presents under yer plants, and then goes through yer clothing and fills them with presents too?” Applejack recapped. Well when you put it like that of course it'd sound weird.

"Mostly." I shrugged.

"Huh. Weird." Applejack stated, and left it off at that. Afterwards, the terrifying trio caught me up on Hearth's Warming and what it was all about. Apparently there was a terrible blizzard caused by the vengeful spirits of dead soldiers who fed off of the hatred and animosity the pony races had against each other. The blizzard only ended when the leaders of the three pony races and the representatives for the thestrals and crystal ponies came to an agreement about one thing, how much their situation sucked.

Apparently their hatred towards the cold outweighed their hatred of each other, giving them a common enemy to focus on as they began to devise plans to survive the seemingly endless winter. While their skin froze and their breath grew cold, their hearts thawed as they worked together, allowing them to slowly forget the differences between them as they learned more about each other. When unicorns ran low on magic, earth ponies showed them how to make fire with their bare hooves, when the pegasi's water for cloud production was contaminated the unicorns taught them how to purify it using a cauldron and a fire, and as the earth ponies grew tired and weak the pegasi taught them how to lift more with less effort by using pulley systems.

Their efforts to help each other only grew when two ponies came to them in their desperate time of need. One of the ponies was a teenage pegasus filly with no wings and a beautiful white mane, while the other was a slightly older unicorn stallion with golden eyes and a broken horn. Under the leadership of the unicorn stallion, the ponies worked harder to help each other in their desperate hour of need as the pegasus filly fought off against the wendigos with strange magic.

Once their hearts melted the frigid winter, the mysterious visitors left, leaving the earth ponies and pegasi to clear the snow without the use of unicorn magic, as those who still had some left needed to use it to change the day but still helped even without their magic. Thus creating Hearth's Warming and Winter Wrap-up. I wasn't sure how much of the story was true, but I took it to be more of a symbolic story than a historical one, though in a world where fantasy and history could be synonymous it could have gone either way.

It was weird to hear so much about their history and holidays, it was another reminder that they were real, that all of this was real. It was almost like listening to all of Trixie's fantastical tales about her astonishing performances across Equestria. Listening to her tell stories about her performances and looking at how vibrantly she would smile always lifted my spirits and reminded me of the positives of her cartoon counterpart. I guess, in a way, I was kind of using Trixie as an anchor to Earth, something to remind me of the cartoon my sister made me watch with her.

And the more time I spent with Trixie, the more I felt like I understood her cartoon counterpart, like I was preforming some weird in-depth character analysis. It was stupid and selfish I admit, and it was wrong to keep drawing comparisons between Trixie the pony and Trixie the cartoon character. But I kept doing it because... Because I didn't want to think of this as something real. Even after Princess Celestia told me that I couldn't go home, I wanted to think that this was all a dream, that I was just stuck in long weird episode of Equestria Girls. I wanted to believe that this was all Trixie's adventure, it was just her spinoff movie or show, and once the credits rolled I'd be free. But this was all real.

Real world, real problems, and real troubles. A real world that was really dimensions away from my old home. I tried to push those thoughts of home away from my mind and I fell back into the lull of typical morning conversations about how well we all slept and what out plans were for the day.

The rest of breakfast went by quickly as I ate three servings of pancakes and bacon. I knew I'd probably have to do some exercise or something later if I wanted to keep my Bizarro abs, but that was a problem for future me, and he could suck it up and get the job done for me.

Once all of our plates were practically licked clean, Applebloom said goodbye to her two friends as Applejack and I escorted Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle to their respective homes. About halfway into the market district, Applejack and I split up which left me alone with Sweetie Belle as we walked through the streets of Ponyville.

"So, do you think you'll be celebrating Hearth's Warming this year, Bizarro?" Sweetie Belle asked me as we rounded another corner.

"Me not sure." I replied hesitantly. I didn't really even want to think about the holidays, especially since it meant my family was probably going to spend their first Christmas without me soon.

"Why?" Sweetie Belle innocently asked.

"It... It because Bizarro am not have family here." I said as the cheerful demeanor I was able to hold up immediately dropped. It was a hard thing to think about, and an even more difficult thing to admit out loud. I was living an almost perfect fantasy without the people I wanted most to be there. I could lift a building, fly through the air, shoot ice beams out of my eyes, but I could never tell my family I loved them ever again.

"Oh... I'm sorry, Bizarro." Sweetie Belle apologize.

"You no do wrong Sweety. Bizarro am just... in bad place right now."

"You mean you don't like Ponyville?"

"No, no. Me no mean place literal, me mean head in bad place." I explained. "Bizarro am love Ponyville, it am nice and happy... But, it am just not home..."

"Well... Could it be your home?" She asked with a little hope in her voice. I considered her words for a moment as I thought about my situation. People said home was where the heart is, but I left that with my family back on Earth, could I really just start a new life here in a world where I wasn't even myself?

The powers and responsibility that came with them were a good distraction from my thoughts, but they had all lost their ability to take my mind away from Earth a while ago. Even the promise of traveling through infinite realities quickly lost it's charm as I thought more about what it meant to go to the other worlds. If I couldn't return to Earth then what chance was there I'd ever return to Ponyville after being summoned? Darth Vader was stuck in this dimension after I summoned him, would I be stuck in the next Dimension and then be sucked into another one, would it just be a constant cycle of going from one Dimension to the next? Would I ever see this Ponyville again?

I glanced at the direction of Ponyville Hospital, worry and dread filling me as I looked at the tall white building. The high I got from Darth Vader promising me that I could be a hero made me too rash and I jumped at the opportunity before I asked any questions. Now I would be losing another home if I couldn't return to Ponyville. I'd lose all of the friends in an instant, I'd be alone, I'd be leaving them like I left my family. Did I even deserve the right to call this place home if I'd just be leaving it? Did I deserve to call the ponies here my friends?

"Me no know Sweety... Me no know..."

RARITY POV

The sound of a singing coffeepot filled the air as I entered the kitchen to take the pot off of the burner with my magic. It was a beautiful morning and I was waiting for Bizarro to drop off my sister soon. After the party was over Applejack called me on my brand new rotary phone and told me that the girls had met Applebloom and hit it off wonderfully. In fact, they all wanted to have a sleepover at Applejack's for the night. I was completely fine with Sweetie Belle staying over and Applejack told me that Ditzy Doo was alright with Scootaloo staying the night too.

It made me happy to know that Sweetie Belle was fitting in nicely, especially since she only had one Pony she knew here aside from myself. It was a new experience for her to be so far away from Manehattan, but I was confident that she would fit in nicely once she expanded her group of friends.

As I waited for my sister to return home I was relaxing in my kitchen, busy at work sipping coffee and sketching a design for my latest dress. My quill danced across the pages of my sketch book as the coffee I was drinking gave me an extra bit of energy to really give it that pazzaz I wanted all of my dresses to have.

I smiled and hummed a happy tune as I looked over the design for my dress to the Grand Galloping Galla, a nice pink ballroom dress with golden frills that broke up the intricate pattern of diamonds and gems I had sewn into the dress. I added a beautiful dark red sash to the waist that matched the color, accentuating my slim figure underneath while complimenting the color of my dress. Of course there would be a few changes along the way, I was still unsure about where I should add the design for my Cutie mark, and I was reconsidering the idea of adding a tiara to my dress, I could probably wear it if I also brought my Element to the party.

A question for later since I would need to see it in person to come to a final decision about the design. While it may look nice on paper the real test would be seeing how it looked on my body, I was certain that I could win the heart of any Stallion there if I wore a fabulous dress. Who knows, if I was lucky enough perhaps I would be able to snatch up Prince Blueblood, he's been elusive to herding for years, either never successfully going on enough dates to herd or never finding interest in anypony who could put up with him. But I could do it, I was determined to!

After putting away my sketches and finishing up my coffee the bell above the door of my house chimed as my sister's voice rang out. "Rarity, I'm home."

I followed her voice to the shop portion of my home/business where I found her and Bizarro marveling at one of my lovely dresses that was on display. "Did you have fun yesterday, Sweetie Belle?" I asked my sister as she took her attention away from my dress.

"It was so much fun! Scootaloo and I made a new friend and we formed a club. We're calling it the Cutie mark Crusaders!" She told me as pride and joy swelled in her voice. It was nice to know for sure that Sweetie Belle was fitting in and I was ecstatic to know it was an easy transition for her so far.

As Sweetie Belle and I talked about her time over at Applejack's house, Bizarro was occupying himself by looking at some of my winter themed clothing with a peculiar look on his face. His eyes seemed glazed over as he stared at the festive colors and patterns of the clothing. He continued to look that way as he lazily looked through all of the clothing racks until he stopped on a flannel shirt that had a red and black square plaid pattern designed into it. It wasn't one of my favorite pieces since I was never a fan of plaid but Bizarro seemed enraptured by it as he stood there looking at the design.

While I admit that maybe, maybe, Bizarro could pull off plaid I doubted that shirt would fit him, after all that shirt was several sizes too small for his muscular physic. But, if he wanted, I could surely resize it to fit his muscular frame, the only problem would be incorporating that symbol Bizarro wore on his costume. Maybe if I put it on a pair of pants to go with the shirt instead. A problem for later assuming he even wanted that shirt.

When I finally wrapped up my nice conversation with Sweetie Belle she ran upstairs to her new bedroom so she could call some of her friends back in Manehattan after she promised me she wouldn't hog the phone line for too long. Once she was gone I decided to talk to Bizarro and see if I could get him to wear something festive for the holidays.

"So, Bizarro, do you see anything you like?" I asked.

Bizarro simply shrugged his shoulders as he responded quietly. "They am nice..." He said in an empty tone. This was definitely different than what I expected, Bizarro usually had a smile that could rival Pinkie's at times, even with his unsightly teeth. But for some reason Bizarro wasn't his usual fun loving self.

I could feel sadness, fear, and dread radiating off of Bizarro like an unstable and overclocked enchantment circle. I was about to put a hand on his shoulder to see if I could console him on whatever was bothering him, but once I stepped closer an unequisly scent assaulted my nostrils causing me to step back and cover my nose.

"Good Heavens, Bizarro! I don't mean to sound rude but when was the last time you changed?” I asked as I pinched my nostrils shut. Bizarro cringed at my reaction, adding on a sense of guilt and self-reproach to his ever-growing pile of negative emotions.

"Uh, me think two days?" He hesitantly answered. I had to suppress the urge to shout as I contemplated what he said.

“Bizarro do you… Do you sleep in those clothes? You at least take off some of it right?”

“.... No.... Me wear it all." He answered quietly.

“Really? Not your outerwear, your boots, or your cape, right?” I asked for clarity.

“No, Bizarro wore it all to bed last night."

"And... you haven't thought of taking them off?" I asked.

Bizarro looked like he was about to answer before he hesitated for a moment, biting his lower lip as his eyes darted around the room nervously.

I had a feeling I knew what was going on with Bizarro, I had seen the signs before when my... when somepony I... knew was abducted by changelings. She went through a similar experience, causing her to wear her shoes to bed too. She would also sleep with a dagger under her pillow, a rotary phone right next to her bed, and a crossbow hidden in the closet. She was terrified of going through that again, and so was Bizarro.

I, like all my friends, felt absolutely horrible about what happened to them and none of us could do anything to help. I knew it was definitely taking a toll on Twilight since she blamed herself for nonexistent ifs and hypotheticals. If she succeeded in sending Trixie packing without Bizarro then Trixie would have suffered more, if she had only insisted that they take the train then they could have avoided those changelings, if she did this or that; it was all adding onto her pre-built guilt.

I knew that Trixie was struggling too with her current condition at the hospital, but I never expected Bizarro to be so affected. I don’t know why but I just thought he was alright, but he clearly wasn’t. Sleeping in his full suit with his boots on only meant one thing, he was prepared to spring out of bed in a moment’s notice to defend himself.

"Bizarro, why don't you get washed up for a bit and I'll prepare something nice for you to wear." I offered kindly, hoping that maybe a shower would calm Bizarro's nerves, or at the very least provide a distraction for his mind.

BIZARRO POV

The warm water traveled down my large frame, washing over the toned muscles of my new body like water traveling down a series of rivers. I lathered my hands with a bar of pink soap and scrubbed away all of the dirt and grease I had neglected to wash off after coming back to Ponyville. With everything that happened to Trixie it had slipped my mind the first night, and the second night I was told there really was no way home and I'd be sent to other worlds, possibly unable to return to this one. It was all so much. A few months before all of this my biggest problems were saving up money for college, juggling school work and a part time job, and just getting through the hours of the day.

But now my problems were much bigger, and they were too big for me. I was just a nineteen year old, I was going to turn twenty in a few months and celebrate with some friends by going to Wildwood. There was a little comic book shop on the boardwalk that I always loved going to, and afterwards I'd usually go into one of the arcades and try my skills at Skeeball. Now I wouldn't be able to see those things ever again either. While more thoughts of home ragged out inside my mind I finished my shower and walked over to the mirror.

As the last bit of fog was wiped off of the mirror I looked my reflection and slightly recoiled at thing in front of me. I had only seen my new face a few times before I left for Canterlot, and each time I convinced myself it was a rubber mask that I'd take off when I got home. But now I was able to see that this was really my new face, the face of a monster.

My legs shook nervously beneath me and I had to hold onto the sink below the mirror to steady myself, unintentionally giving me a closer view of my own hideous reflection. A light amount of stubble built up on my face after weeks of not shaving, barely concealing the cracked skin on my chin and cheeks. My eyes were a dull blue color filled with a deep sorrow instead of their old vibrant life filled demeanor, my nose was completely crooked and bent out of shape like I had been through several boxing rounds with a cinderblock punching me in the face.

As I studied my features more closely several more flaws became apparent, such as my cracked and chapped lips, the rough texture of my skin, a unibrow was slowly forming between my eyes, a series of zits and pimples decorated my forehead, previously hidden underneath my unkempt bangs. I brought a hand up to my chin to stop my jaw from shaking in disbelief, earning a closer view of the gnarled cage of teeth in my mouth that were painted an ugly shade of yellow.

I wasn't the most handsome person back home but at least I cold have been considered average, but now I was really a freak of nature. A freak who was far away from home.

the Dark Side delivers Hope.

TWILIGHT POV

The machines in the hospital room beeped rhythmically as they tracked Trixie’s heart rate and magical output, the noises moved in almost perfect synchronization with the second hand of the clock that hung over the door of the room. Tic, beep, buzz, tic, beep, buzz over and over again, creating a lulling pattern of sound that fought to send me to Princess Luna's Dream realm.

I reached over to Trixie's nightstand and took a sip of coffee, waking myself up so that I could tackle the text of the pages in front of me. I had buried myself in a book about changeling biology as I tried to ignore the constant stream of sounds being emitted from the various machines.

My hope was that, by reading a bit more about the creatures who left Trixie in this horrible state, I might be able to find a way to cure her or at least lead her onto the road towards a full recovery. But, nothing in any of the books about changelings or the medical books I had at my house could help me. Very little was known about changelings, not even "reformed" changelings knew much about themselves. All we knew was that when they arrived a nomadic race of pegasi, known as flutter ponies, vanished off of the face of Equis, presumably because of the Changeling Queen and her army taking all of them into their disgusting breeding dens. So, with none of the changeling related books helping in any way I turned my attention to medical books.

Medical magic was a completely different field of magic that I was unfamiliar with. I knew basic Medical magic for CPR, setting bones, and helping somepony who was choking, but I didn't have the magical expertise needed to be a doctor or nurse. While I had the ability to teleport myself and others great distances and lift heavy objects with my telekinesis I lacked the precision needed to teleport small cells out of the body or manipulate multiple surgical tools in my aura with precise movements. Even if I could, I still didn’t know anything more than the doctors of Ponyville hospital, and they were trained professionals who knew medical magic and mastered their craft.

It would take an actual miracle at this rate since Trixie was still showing no signs of improving. My heart felt heavy as I looked at Trixie’s peaceful sleeping form, questions raged in my mind about how long the doctors could successfully keep her relaxed and sedated enough to sleep. If a stallion were to accidentally open the door or even come near the room, Trixie would likely wake up instantly and be forced to act against her will.

I hated to think of that as a possibility, but since she wasn't recovering I had to prepare for any scenario. Including a more... morally questionable alternative to the problem. I hated to consider it, but that decision would ultimately be up to Trixie's family if she didn't recover soon. I made sure to use my contacts in Canterlot to find Trixie's closest relatives. Trixie had a father, but his location was unknown and Trixie had no mother or herd aunts that I could contact, so the only option left was a great aunt on her father's side of the family who lived in Fillydelphia.

I attempted to find her phone number in the yellow-scrolls but there wasn't a phone number listed under her name, it somewhat made sense since phones were only a few years old and not all older ponies liked the idea of using them. In the end I had to resort to sending a letter to her via Magic dragon fire. I knew that, legally speaking, I did something wrong by sending a letter to somepony using magic fire since it was only reserved for emergencies and contacting the princess, but I desperately needed to let Trixie's relative know how she was doing. I didn't know how long it would take for her to respond, or if she would even attempt to break the law and use Magic fire to send a reply, but I desperately hoped she would get it and send a letter back soon.

I closed another book that failed to give me any insight and placed it on one of the empty cots next to Trixie's bed. Since Trixie was under forced Heat she was assigned a room to herself so the Stallion nurses could work on patients without needing to don a full hazmat suit to help any patient who was put next to Trixie. So, I was able to use the empty cots next to her as a makeshift table and bookshelf as I read up on pony biology and every book available on changelings.

As I prepared to throw myself into another medical book I felt a strange surge of magic explode loudly outside the hospital. I rushed over to the window to locate the source of the magical disturbance, before the sight in the night sky nearly caused my jaw to drop.

Outside in the night sky a giant grey portal opened up, tearing apart Princess Luna’s night as it partially eclipsed the moon. Ponies of all races left their homes to look up at the anomaly, many of the stallions fainting from the sight of it. I wasted no time as I ran out of the hospital towards the crowd. I could have been faster if I teleported, but the enchantments on the Hospital prevented anypony from teleporting in or out.

As I neared the front of the crowd I saw Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash standing next to Bizarro. He had on a red short sleeve shirt with his symbol on the front and was wearing a pair of jeans and black sneakers, a different look from the costume he had worn for the past several days. I was able to notice a weird object in Bizarro's hand as he stared up at the crater in the sky. Spike was the last to join our group as we all continued to stare at the horrific sight before Rainbow Dash finally said what we were all thinking.

"What the hey is that thing?!" Rainbow Dash shouted out.

“Uuuh, Bizarro may do oopsy.” Bizarro said quietly as something began to come out of the massive portal in the sky.

BIZARRO POV

After taking a shower and shaving off my face stubble and newly formed unibrow, I exited Rarity’s bathroom and walked downstairs with a towel wrapped around my waist. Rarity had kindly offered to wash my costume and gave me some clothes to wear while she washed them.

We ended up spending the whole day working on clothing designs on modeling clothes. Rarity loved it when I told her that I made my costume myself, and asked me to tell her about fashion back on Earth. I wasn't a big fashion person so I wasn't able to tell her about the most popular trends in fashion or anything. Instead, I told her about some clothing that fictional characters wore like Wonder Woman's costume, the design of Moon Knight's dark costume, and the colorful ensemble that Harley Quinn wore in Batman the Animated series. When she asked for a few pictures I was able to doodle some slightly average pictures of the characters from my memories and Rarity loved them all. She called them, "colorful, fun, and alluringly stylish."

The rest of the day went by like that, Rarity and I would talk, she'd get inspired, and I'd model and talk to her. She even set up a little makeshift runway for me to use as I showed off her designs. It was actually a lot of fun, and ended up being a great way to distract myself from everything. Once Princess Luna's moon graced the sky with its presence I decided to head back to Sweet Apple Acres with some clothes Rarity made me.

Since my Bizarro costume was still in the wash I had to wear one of my new outfits when I left. I was wearing a custom made red t-shirt with Bizarro’s reverse symbol magically ironed onto the front of it. Rarity had told me that she enjoyed doing it since she got to choose where the design would go for once. I was a little confused about what she meant by that so I asked her for some clarification.

I ended up finding out that Cutie marks were able to brand themselves to a pony’s clothes in several different ways; Sometimes they’d appear on the hip, shoulder, chest, or just turn into a nice hair pin or other accessory to wear. Don’t ask me how that works, I tried and the only answer I got was “It’s magic”. That’s it, no further detail other than it had something to do with magic.

Rarity, the mare who will talk for hours on end about a single type of sewing technique wasn’t the least bit interested in learning how somepony’s Cutie mark would appear on one of her dresses when they put them on. I would think she’d study it religiously to see how the possible placement would affect the dress. But no, she just trusted the Cutie mark to go in a good position. Though I was a special acceptation since I didn’t have a Cutie mark, so Rarity got to put her skills to the test by using her own magic to create an image instead of relying on the customer’s latent magic to take care of it.

Aside from a red shirt with my Bizarro symbol on my chest, jeans, and black sneakers I was also able to get a few light jackets, some festive sweaters for Hearth’s Warming, and a new grey colored flat cap which fit my head a bit more nicely than the last. Rarity had added my symbol to all of my shirts except two which I would have to wear when I wore the pants with my symbol on them or else she’d apparently call the fashion police on me.

I felt the urge to laugh at that remark but something told me she was being deadly serious about her rules, so I decided not to laugh. Who was I to complain though, I got free clothing! Of course I’d still try to pay her back for these clothes and the stylish suit she made me for Canterlot.

Taking off my costume also improved my mood a little bit after my revelation in the bathroom. It was sad to think that I'd be stuck looking like Hyde and Frankenstein's love child, but I tried to focus more on the positives. I had friends, I had super powers... I... I didn't have much going for me aside from that...

I couldn't see my family back on Earth, I couldn't read or write anymore, I looked like a monster, and to add onto my pile of problems I still knew nothing about being a Displaced. I had no idea if I'd even come back to Ponyville after going to another Dimension. For all I knew I could never even see Ponyville again once I was summoned by ~~somepony~~ someone.

As I continued to unconsciously walk back towards Sweet Apple Acres, I staggered slightly when I tripped over something lodged in the ground. I managed to catch myself with my other foot and glared at whatever trash was left in the middle of the road.

However, I froze as I looked at the vaguely familiar item that was partially sticking out of a hole in the ground. It was a small ornate pyramid made up of red glass that could fit perfectly in the palm of my hand, with strange symbols decorating the glass and golden frame of the pyramid. It somewhat reminded me of an ornament for a Christmas tree or a decorative paper weight.

I bent down and delicately picked up the beautiful and odd pyramid and held it up to my face to get a better look at it. I admired the patterns on the red tinted glass and tried to make out the strange symbols that were ingrained into the golden frame, though in retrospect even if I could understand them I couldn't read them since becoming Bizarro made me illiterate. Still, being illiterate didn't prevent me from marveling at the fine craftsmanship of the ornate object.

I studied the strange object more thoroughly for a bit before a painful sensation filled my mind as a stallion's voice spoke to me.

“I am Jack Krieger. I am a Sith, a lover of science, and most importantly, a brother. If you have need of me, say my name while holding my holocron and I will answer your call. Use of this token comes with a huge degree of trust on my part, and if you betray that trust, you’ll never see me again and my big sister will come after you.”

The voice finished with an ominous warning. I was a little confused at first before I was struck with a sudden sense of realization and childlike glee. I had gotten another Displaced’s token!

I nearly leapt for joy at the wonderful implications. There were so many questions I had about being a Displaced that I neglected to ask Darth Vader when he was here, and now I had a second chance to ask those questions! I’d be able to ask what the rules were, if I’d be able to come back to Ponyville, what would be expected of me, I’d have all the answers I wanted! And, the guy was apparently a Sith like Darth Vader was, so maybe they knew each other. A long shot sure but a shot nevertheless!

I GET TO SEE ANOTHER PERSON! I thought giddily as I held up the Token in the air like it was a divine gift from the Gods and spoke out the person's name, hoping that this wouldn't turn out like the last time I attempted to summon someone.

"Hello, Bizarro am call Jack Krieger. Me am need help." I called out, hoping that this Jack person could help me.

I had never heard of a Sith named Jack Krieger in any of the movies, so maybe it was a character from the comics or games. I also wondered if he had been Displaced by the Merchant like I was or if the Trader displaced him like she had done with Darth Vader. There were so many questions I had and I couldn't wait to ask all of them.

I was brimming with enthusiasm as I waited for Jack to appear, but that enthusiasm quickly turned into worry as a monstrous boom roared in the night sky. As I looked around for the source of the noise my heart stopped when I looked up at the night sky. High above all the residents of Ponyville, a giant grey tear opened up in the sky that ripped a hole through space and time itself with a loud and thunderous roar. My eyes widened in horror as I realized that I had once again acted prematurely without thinking ahead.

Shit, shit, shit! He said he was a Sith, not a Displaced Godzilla! Shit! I yelled in my mind as the seconds rolled by at an agonizing pace.

Almost all of Ponyville left their homes to stare at the giant hole in the sky, many of them gasping in horror and speaking silently as they waited for something to happen. I stood at the front of the slowly forming crowd as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie joined my side, followed shortly by Fluttershy, Twilight, and lastly Spike.

"What the hey is that thing?!" Rainbow Dash shouted out in alarm.

“Uuuh, Bizarro may do oopsy.” I stated quietly. After those words left my mouth something began to come through the giant portal.

A large spaceship easily the size of a football field drifted through the portal with the grace of a boat on the waves as it sailed through the sky. My heart pounded out of my chest as I looked at the underside of the giant ship. It was a mechanical marvel of science that would require several degrees in engineering to even slightly describe its appearance in detail.

It was mainly a steel grey color with place panels that accentuated the corners of the spacecraft. It had two large wings that stuck out the front of the ship like a pair of flat daggers, with a blocky bridge connecting the two. The bridge itself had a comparably small circular window for guiding the ship in the center with two small cannons beneath it, the gun turrets on both sides of the ship's wings were much larger in comparison. Both of the circular turrets scanned the area with predatory precision as the ship descended, possibly trying to find some form of combat or threat that it could annihilate.

Several small legs extended from under the ship as it lowered to the ground, allowing it to land safely and give enough space for the ship’s ramp to extend out. As the mechanical pistons of the ship whirled to life and pushed the door open, I felt an ominous presence standing at the top of the ramp as it opened.

At the top of the ramp stood a demonic looking man with his hands at his side, with one of them hovering over what looked like an ornate blue and gold lightsaber tucked under his clothing. He walked confidently down the long stretch of metal, his boots hitting the ramp with purpose as he walked over to us and eyed our groups critically. His gaze seemed to linger on me however, focusing on my face and the symbol on my chest. He didn’t take his eyes off of me even when my friends took combative stances and formed a wall between us.

He was a massive wall of muscle that stood a half a foot taller than me, with blood red skin and a fearsome set of black armor that encased his body. His face was long and narrow with bone spurs that jutted out from his chin and jaw, and his skin clung tightly to his skull as if there was no flesh in-between them. The most noticeable feature of all however were his eyes. Those gold eyes burned like two small suns, giving him an almost godly feeling, as if he had gained them by staring into the abyss of a black hole for millennia.

The power that radiated off of his body was intense, it was like an ocean of anger and pain had been trapped inside a single water balloon that was waiting to burst. It filled me with a sense of dread and despair that felt completely foreign to me, the only thing I did know was the amount of fear it filled me with. For some reason, despite the immense dread and power I felt from him, I didn’t feel afraid for myself, I felt afraid for my friends. I was more fearful of what would happen to them if the man decided to attack. I had only met Darth Vader so far and he seemed like a nice Displaced, but I sincerely doubted that all Displaced would have good intentions.

He stood a few yards away from our group once he finally reached the ground and stood there, humming in mild surprise as he looked at us.

“Interesting. In this one they are humanoid.” He commented idly with a strangely normal voice. I expected him to sound menacing and villainous, but instead he just sounded like an average person.

“So, you summoned me Bizarro?” He asked in a casual tone. Somehow, despite his appearance and entrance, his attitude had calmed me down and allowed me to realize how I was probably worrying about nothing. He wasn't an evil sith or anything, he was a human like me. I just needed to keep reminding myself of that and everything would be fine.

“How do you know Biz?” Rainbow Dash asked as she took a step towards the man who, in turn, raised his hands in a calming gesture.

“The same way I know about all of you, and I’ll leave it at that. Nice to meet you, Bizarro, I’m Jack Krieger.” He introduced himself, as he held out his hand for me to shake. After moving past the wall my friends had formed between us I walked up to him and accepted his handshake.

“Am good to meet you, Jack.” I responded.

“So, for what reason have you called me here? Is there trouble?” He mused as he broke off our handshake and looked at the stunned faces of the residents of Ponyville. Some stallions hid behind their herds while other groups of mares and stallions stood in front of their children, shielding the younger generation from the alien as they all gawked at Jack and his monolith of a spaceship with a mixture of fear and wonder.

“No trouble, me am find Token and thought me try to summon. You am Bizarro’s first. Well, first alive.”

“Alive? Well, that’s not ominous as shit.” He said as my friends started to approach.

“Bizarro,” Twilight started to ask. “Is that a… a Spaceship?”

“Yup, this right here is the Fury. Hell of a ship if you ask me.” Jack stated proudly as as he looked at the behemoth sitting behind him. “This baby could go from Horaca to Canterlot in a few hours.”

“Horca? Is that another planet?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I suppose you could say it’s on another planet.” Jack responded in a somewhat amused tone as he looked up at the night sky. “Huh, so the stars are different here. Interesting. I expected Luna to make the same night sky here.”

“S-so you’re an Alien?” Fluttershy asked meekly as she hid behind Rainbow Dash for protection.

“To you I am. I’m technically a Human.” He explained causing Twilight to gasp.

“A human! Bizarro told me about your kind, you’re from Earth like he is. So... Does that mean you're here to take him back to your homeworld with your ship?” Twilight asked with a mixture of hope and worry in her voice.

Jack shook his head as he explained why it wouldn't work. "Unfortunately it's not that simple. Even if my ship's hyperdrive was working and we could get to other galaxies, our homes are farther away than that. Though, we do have a plan for getting back to Earth.” He told our group, which definitely caught me by surprise.

“Really?” I asked with a feeling of hope burning inside of me.

“Yes, didn't you know? We send out Tokens to other universes, meaning that there’s a chance we can get back to Earth through our Tokens if we’re summoned there.” He explained causing my jaw to drop.

“What?! Me no hear that earlier! We am go home? It really possible!?” I asked with happiness swelling in my voice. A way home, a real way home! I could see my family again, I could be back home! There was actually a way home!

“Uh, am I the only one confused here? What the heck’s a Token? Is it like a present?” Pinkie Pie asked as she finally spoke up.

“And what’s a Displaced?” Twilight added on. Jack turned and looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

“Wait, you didn’t tell them?” Jack asked me.

“Tell us what, Biz?” Rainbow Dash added on as everyone’s eyes focused on me.

“Me was going to tell them at better time… maybe.” I offered weakly. Jack shook his head as he crossed his arms in a disapproving manner, like a parent scolding a child.

“Look, I could get not telling them about… Certain things, but you should tell them about the Displaced. My sister and I made sure to tell our friends.” Jack advised me. I didn't necessarily want to tell anypony about me being from another dimension, being from another world was already a big pill for my new friends to swallow.

“Fine…” I relented as I turned back to my group of friends and talked quietly so that nopony in the crowd would overhear us.

“Remember when me say story scare you? Story about many universe am scary, there am so much out there. Big heroes and scary baddies, really scary baddies who am kill lots or am eat planets like Galactus.” I told the group causing them all to gasp in shock.

“Wait, you met a Galactus Displaced?” Jack asked in surprise.

“No, but me no know what am out there. There am be anything in multiverse.” I reasoned. It was an absolutely terrifying concept, for all we knew Cthulu, Slenderman, and pretty much every other nightmare that was ever created existed somewhere out there.

“Hm, I guess that’s true. Makes me glad that not many people dress up as him.” Jack said in a contemplative tone. “I should probably prepare for something like that just in case, maybe get a few more med packs together for the empire.” Jack mumbled under his breath, causing my eyes to widen and almost pop out of my head.

“You am help Trick!” I shouted gleefully while the Sith lord raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked.

“Health pacs! They am heal lots in games, you help Trick!” I tried to explain enthusiastically.

“Again, what?” He repeated. Twilight stepped forward from the group to explain what I wanted Jack to do.

“A friend of ours isn’t faring well at the moment after she and Bizarro were nearly captured by a pair of changelings, and I believe Bizarro hopes that you could help her.” Twilight explained. “Do you have something that could help her?”

“Of course.” He replied without hesitation before he shook his head slightly, as if getting rid of a wandering thought. “I’d be willing to part with some medicine if it means helping somepony. Though I’ll need a scan of whoever I’m helping first, I don’t want to give them too much of a dose.”

“But you can’t.” Twilight interjected.

“Why not?” Jack asked, completely confused by Twilight's remark.

“Because Trixie is going through a forced heat cycle. If a stallion entered the room she’d immediately wake up and pounce on you. If you’re weak to magic like Bizarro is, then she’ll overpower you and…” Twilight trailed off as she shuddered.

“Don’t worry Twilight, I’m much stronger than I look. But, if it helps anymore, I won’t be the one scanning or applying the treatment.” Jack reassured us before he pulled out a large metal disc with a rounded bulb on the top. With the click of a button Jack activated the strange device, allowing the hologram of a thin gold and black colored robot with red eyes to appear in the palm of his hand.

“HK-55, I need you for something.”

“Response: Affirmative sir! Do you require cover fire on the meatbags in front of you?” The droid asked with an enthusiastic tone. My friends were put on edge by his question but calmed down slightly when Jack answered back.

“No HK-55, they’re friendlies. I need you for another mission, fill up your tanks with some bacta and come out of the ship. There’s somepony who requires medical assistance.”

“Sarcasm: Oh joyous occasion, I love helping broken meatbags.”

“Hopeful: Are you sure you don’t need me to kill something?” The hologram practically begged.

“Um, there am wolves in woods if he am want shoot. Oh, maybe he am get two heart Bugs too.” I offered. Jack thought about it for a moment before offering it to the droid.

“Would you feel better after killing some timber wolves and maybe some changelings, HK-55?” Jack asked the droid who seemed to bounce in place with joy at the prospect of going on a rampage in the forest.

“Compromise: Oh yes! Finally I get to practice my skills. I’ll be down immediately, master.” The droid responded before the communicator turned off and the sound of metallic boots thundered from the entrance of the ship.

TWILIGHT POV

As Spike and the rest of my friends tasked themselves with calming down the residents of Ponyville who were either hiding in fear or staring at the spaceship with awe, a thin metallic Stallion made of gold and an unknown metal exited the ship. He had a thin waist that supported a rather bulky chest that had a strange glowing rune in the center of it that matched his eyes. His expression was blank but somehow gave off the impression of a constant scowl, as if everything around him either annoyed him or irked him.

"Request: Master, please point me in the direction of the injured meatbag." The Sentry asked the red skinned Stallion.

"Twilight," The red stallion called out to me. "Would you mind escorting HK-55 to Trick? I have some things I'd like to discuss with Bizarro in private." He told me. I didn't really want to leave my friend alone with a stranger, but if I wanted to help Trixie then I had to escort the Sentry to Ponyville hospital. I agreed to the red stallion's request and quickly led the Sentry to Trixie, hoping that whatever he could do would help Trixie.

The Sentry walked silently behind me as he scanned the streets with his red eyes, the only sound he made were the quiet pistons and gears that turned inside his metal body. The sentry was truly a sight to behold, it was more advanced than any modern piece of technology on Equis aside from the stranger's spaceship.

Starswirl the Bearded had first created Sentries as a way to Defend Equestria when we couldn’t afford to send any soldiers or guards out for the task, but they were deemed too inefficient since a gentle breeze could knock them over and a single sentry would require three unicorns to control and puppet it. But this Sentry was millennia ahead of those old models, the way it’s parts whirred and spun with each step told me that it must have been comprised of more moving parts and enchantments than a tv or a train.

Not only that, but he was also quick and nimble on his feet as I led him to the Ponyville Hospital. It was a bizarre sight to see, almost like watching a skeleton walk around without any flesh or skin to give it structure and support. The musket strapped over his shoulder was also strange, it was composed completely of metal with no visible flint lock system to reload and fire it, it almost looked like it would work better as a bludgeon than as a long ranged weapon. This sentry was even more advanced than the ones in fiction, responding with quick answers and moving at a constant pace that some day guard trainees would envy.

I didn’t remember Bizarro telling me anything about sentries this advanced on his planet, but it could have been that he simply forgot about them and neglected to tell me. I mean, if I spoke to an Alien I doubt I'd talk about the intricacies of what a toaster or a phone is and how they worked.

"Query: How much longer until we reach my objective?" The Sentry asked me.

"Oh, not much longer. So you'll really be able to help Trixie?"

"Answer: I don't know, but if she dies it's her fault." He replied causing me to scowl at him.

"Why would you say something like that?!" I demanded.

"Answer: It is a likely possibility, you meatbags can die from the simplest of injuries sometimes. It would probably be funny if it wasn't so pathetic... Oh who am I kidding, it's still pretty funny."

"You're morbid."

"Retort: I'm realistic." He stated. I decided not to speak to him anymore after that. Thinking about the possibility of Trixie passing away was not a thought I liked to entertain at all.

I tried to forget about that morbid train of thought by focusing on the red Stallion who Bizarro somehow called here. From what Bizarro told me humans didn't come in a large variety of colors like Ponies do, so I had to assume that Jack was a Kryptonian surviver like Superman and the others who fled Krypton when it was destroyed. It was the only explanation for his appearance I had besides magic being used to dye his skin pigmentation.

I wondered if the other Kryptonian had powers similar to Bizarro. I had theorized that Kryptonians were the equivalent of pegasi on Earth while Humans were the equivalent of Unicorns and Earth Ponies, so if he was a Kryptonian then it was likely that he could do things that Bizarro could. But, they were all theories, I'd have to actually talk to him or Bizarro to confirm anything.

The rest of the walk to the hospital was nearly completely silent, with the only noise being HK-55's mechanical insides moving around. The hospital staff gave us odd looks as we entered but didn't stop us when they saw the advanced musket on HK's back. I wanted to reassure them that they were safe, but I was too focused on leading the Sentry to Trixie's room so her suffering could finally end.

I entered the depressing room that Trixie was staying in, nothing had changed since I went outside to first investigate the strange occurrence in the sky and Trixie seemed to be resting peacefully on her cot, blissfully unaware of the strange events transpiring around her.

"Query: Is that the meatbag who needs assistance?"

"Her name is Trixie, and yes." I responded a little harshly. I wasn't the biggest fan of HK-55's attitude and I questioned if he could actually help or if he only knew how to insult Ponies.

After I confirmed that Trixie was the one who required his aid, HK-55 nodded and walked over to her bed, pulling out a strange metal box as he kneeled down next to her.

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked as HK-55 started to press a series of buttons on the square device in his hand.

“Answer: I’m using this to scan her biology in order to determine how much bacta is appropriate for a meatbag of her size. Master would be livid if I failed to do an appropriate job. This should not take too long, once the scan is complete I will inject her with bacta so her injuries and other illnesses may be healed.”

“And what is Bacta?” I asked as HK-55 continued using his strange metal box to perform a green colored scanning spell on Trixie.

“Answer: Bacta is a mixture of kavam and alazhi bacteria combined with ambori fluid. Bacta is used for many purposes, such as rapid regeneration of organic components like nerves, skin, nails, and other useless organic materials. Since this meatbag’s damage is located near her hypothalamus the injection will either need to be given through her eye or the base of her neck at the brain stem.” HK-55 explained with an almost bored tone.

“So you’re sure it’ll work then?”

“Retort: It isn’t one of the most popular medications in the galaxy for nothing, even if you meatbags love to complain about how it is applied at times.” HK-55 responded, as he finished using the box on Trixie he held up his left pinkie finger. Before I could ask what he was doing a small needle popped out of his finger and he inserted it into Trixie’s neck. Trixie’s face scrunched up in discomfort when the needle broke her skin, but relaxed once I doubled the efforts of my calming spell on her. Once HK-55 was done he stood up and the needle went back into his hand.

"Analysis: The blue meatbag should recover soon provided she doesn't do something stupid like dying from something else after I wasted my time helping her."

"She'll be okay then?" I asked with joy overflowing from my voice.

"Conformation: I just said that. Would you like for me to simplify my explanation any further? Perhaps I could draw a picture."

"Thank you so much!" I said loudly as I embraced HK-55 in a tight hug.

"Demand: Get your hands off of me meatbag. I have only assisted because my master is kind and generous to weaklings such as yourself. Now, I must go complete master's second and more preferable task with extreme prejudice." HK-55 s said with what I could only imagine would have been a sadistic smile on his face if he had lips.

He wasted no time leaving the room and heading towards his next objective. I looked back at Trixie for a moment before I decided to follow HK-55, if he was telling the truth about bacta then I desperately needed to get a sample of it.

MEMORY LOGS OF HK-55

Despite the droid’s attempts to inform the annoying purple meatbag that HK-55 had no intent in continuing their previous conversation back at the organic repair facility. The purple meatbag designated as “Twilight” continued to hound the droid even as he began to delve into the dangerous forest full of potential entertainment.

Entertainment that the assassin droid hoped would finally compel its behavior core to produce at least a sliver of synthetic joy. The months of obedient service to his master were eventful but had hardly been anything but satisfying. Training with the master to hone his skills, assignments to protect the master’s property, even the chaos of a few emergencies, had yet to deliver the one thing the assassin droid has desired most.

Living targets to assassinate.

It was always the same thing. “Imitation: No HK, you don’t need to shoot it. Sorry HK, but I like this meatbag. No HK, you can’t torture the little white meatbag because blah, blah, blah.”

Pacification protocols dictated by his master had ruined every single combat encountered so far in their little universe. Griffon scouts who got too curious? Driven off with warning shots. Another Displaced who engaged the master in combat? HK-55 was ordered to shoot and disable their weapon rather than the Displaced himself. A despicable little white rodent throwing carrots? Shot using a blaster’s sinful stun setting. Not only that, but then he was commanded to fix the little bastard.

But this situation was different. Targets had been designated and the master’s orders were open to interpretation.

Play audio logs: Would you feel better after killing some timber wolves and maybe capturing some changelings, HK-55? The droid replayed in his synthetic mind. Those were the master’s words exactly. There was no designated limit on how many of these timber wolves he was allowed to terminate and the master used the word “maybe” when referring to the capture of changelings. With such open-ended language used in the master’s order, the master would surely understand if the assassin droid went above and beyond the call of duty to slaughter as many targets as it could feasibly locate. Armed with an exhaustive description of the appearance, biology, and capabilities of its targets, provided by the surprisingly knowledgeable purple meatbag, the hunt had initially begun in earnest.

But that hunt was suddenly halted when, once again, the annoying purple meatbag sparkled into existence with its magic in front of the droid as it examined the forest floor for tracks. HK-55 decided it would be a good time to turn off his audio receptors before the purple meatbag assaulted him with a barrage of questions.

He had already tried several lethal methods of making her go away, all of which were negated by a strong force field that would surround her body. What would follow afterwards would be a lecture about not resorting to violence, the magic of friendship, and other things that HK-55 didn’t care about.

“Statement: I turned off my audio receptors, I cannot hear you. Allow me to turn off your visual receptors.” HK-55 stated before he raised up his hand and fired a nonlethal flashbang at her, blinding the purple meatbag’s organic photoreceptors. By the time her pitiful eyesight had returned to her, the assassin droid was long gone with no trace left behind.

HK-55 turned his audio receptors back on as he stalked away from the purple meatbag, listening to the sounds of nature in the hopes of finding his targets sooner. Or listening to their wailing screams of agony, both were a good excuse to reactivate his audio sensors. He’d have to record their screams and save them to his audio files for later, adding them under M for meatbags. But he’d have to find them first before he could kill them.

In any ecosystem, predator species must establish a territory to safeguard themselves. Eventually, pack species such as these timber wolves would grow tired of bumping into different packs and must have threatened each other for various reasons, such as mating rights, survival, and resources located in their territory.

Once their territory is established, some predators will go to any length to protect their territory from rivals. For any rival could seriously put their pack in jeopardy and must be responded to by immediate force.

Not only was this a simple observation of how some organics operate and function in their given environments, it was also an excellent method in drawing out said organics efficiently and effortlessly.

HK-55 had come across the remains of some prey animal a while ago and had examined it’s remains to find traces of claw marks that had torn open its throat. Most of the meat was devoured in a fashion similar to regular canines, except for the traces of splinters and plant matter all across the body.

With the evidence that the assassin droid had finally entered his target’s hunting grounds, the assassin droid got to work by selecting a voice for his vocabulator to belch and scream to draw his quarry out. He didn’t have as large a library as 2V-R8 did, but he had enough to know the difference between “Please don’t kill me” and “I’m going to kill you” in about five hundred languages.

After filing through the voice files of several different meatbags, HK-55 decided to settle for the voice file on one of the loudest, most confusing, and most threatening languages from one of the most intimidating species in the galaxy.

HK-55 had to max the volume within his vocabulator as he perfectly imitated the growls and roars of a Wookie, causing several flocks of birds to rise from the nests in their trees to flee from the roars of the galaxy’s tallest walking carpets. As the roars echoed across the forest, a few minutes later, the echoes caught the ear of a particularly brutish timber wolf and it rose its wooden maw to the sky to howl before it was joined by a great host of its fellow wolves. The wolves journeyed across the Everfree in haste as they rushed to meet this newest invader to their territory.

When the host of wolves finally found the source of the noise, the roars suddenly stopped as the HK-55 saw the wooden meatbags. Woodbags? Plantbags? Fertilizer? It didn’t really matter, they’d still die like any other meatbag, so he would probably just call them meatbags for simplicity’s sake.

The brutish timber wolf growled and barked to a few of its lesser pack mates to surround HK-55 as it approached to inspect the intruder. The magical creature of the Everfree advanced with caution in its every step, ready to pounce on the strange creature when it gave so much as a twitch.

And if HK-55 were a filthy organic, he may have been twitching from excitement. He decided to activate his programing and let it take over his body, allowing him to dive into a blissful dream like state as he would slaughter the meatbags in front of him.

“Statement: I have waited far too long for this.”

[:First, deprive hostiles of clear leadership to sow disorder:]

HK-55 drew the BPSL25 – 1000 heavy blaster pistol from its compartment at the hip, and in a split second, the droid pointed the barrel at the sniffing unintelligent piece of tree bark and pulled the trigger before it could react.

With that, the once quiet peace of the Everfree Forest had erupted into a harsh chorus of howls and blaster fire.

The once towering alpha tumbled to the ground in a heap as the back of its head exploded outwards into sizzling splinters. The rest of the pack exploded into motion as soon the discharge of the blaster filled their ears. Too distracted to even realize that their alpha had been summarily executed in the fraction of a second.

They were all about to pounce upon the invader from all sides until the click of a flashbang grenade fired off in front of the assassin droid and halted their charge. Taken off guard by the sudden flash of light, HK-55 wasted not even a second of time to charge through the pack of timber wolves in front of him. Blaster pistol deafening the whimpers emitting from the timber wolves blinded by the flashbang.

[:Second, break through enemy lines and limit their use of pack tactics. Conserve blaster fire to disabling or headshots before blaster overheat:]

Six shots rang out as the heads of six timber wolves were vaporized from the intense heat of the blaster bolts. Each timber wolf had been in the assassin droid’s warpath and their bodies cracked underneath HK’s metal feet as he passed them. Three more wolves fell to further clear the droid’s path before one had enough instinct within it to pounce outwards blindly at the loud noisy thing approaching it.

Before its teeth could latch onto anything, a metal hand clasped around its throat in mid-air with a vice grip and held it aloft before it felt itself being twirled around as blaster shots continued to fill the air. Its claws uselessly trying to tear into the durasteel plated hand that gripped its throat. When the timber wolf’s eyesight had finally returned it had found itself being used as a shield to ward off its brethren as the assassin droid continued to fire into the horde of hostiles in front of him.

[:Hostile on sensors circling to flank while its pack holds this unit’s attention. Continue with the use of “meat shield” until the flanking hostile slows to ready a pounce for a more statistically favorable shot:]

The timber wolf noticed that one of its pack mates behind the droid was bracing itself to pounce at his back. Just as the packmate was about to pounce on the droid, the timber wolf in HK’s grip tore into the metal arm with a newfound ferocity to try and shift the droid off-balance and give its pack mate any advantage it could offer. Its actions were fruitless, however, as the assassin droid didn’t even seem to register his captive’s actions as he casually whirled his blaster behind him to blast the head off the pack mate before it could enact its sneak attack. The assassin droid didn’t even need to turn its head to see what he was aiming at as he made the shot.

Immediately after he killed its pack-mate, the droid placed the warm barrel of his pistol between his captive’s eyes before a blaster bolt vaporized half of its wooden skull as well.

[:Lastly, express approaching joy for the fulfillment of primary function:]

“Euphoric Statement: There is nothing like efficient mass extermination to make my old behavior core glow.”

A rather unlucky timber wolf howled pitifully as the base of its forelegs were incinerated and caused the wolf to tumble to the ground. The timber wolf tried to crawl away with what was left of its appendages before its skull was crushed under heel by the assassin droid as he gunned down a couple that tried to charge at the killing machine. Three, six, then ten more of the fierce Everfree predators fell to more blaster fire as they tried to hopelessly flank and attack the droid from multiple angles. Not a single blaster bolt missed their mark as the droid analyzed and calculated nearly every possible trajectory of attack from its prey.

However, one lone timber wolf got clever as it used one of its charging brethren as cover to get closer before they fell. As soon as the timber wolf covering it had fallen to blaster fire, the lone timber wolf pounced immediately to sink its wooden canines into the metal wrist holding weapon that spewed red death. Hoping that disabling the weapon for a moment would give the lone wolf’s brethren enough time to get close and rip and tear into the intruder.

HK-55 had already processed and evaluated a counter move in the split amount of time the lone wolf had pounced into the air and soared towards his wrist.

[:Blaster pistol is danger close to overheating. Engage cooling systems. BPSL25 model requires 1.96 seconds before regular operation. Propel weapon approximately 15 meters into the air to avoid weapon disablement and allow proper cooldown. Eliminate hostile in 1.50 seconds with hidden vibroknife in left wrist. Roll into the pounce to avoid being flat-footed, then commence the execution:]

With the click of a button and a flick of the wrist the blaster flew through the air before a set of piercing oaken teeth and claws ripped and tore into HK-55’s durasteel wrist. The timber wolf used its body weight and momentum to try and bring the machine low into a more vulnerable position for its pack mates. However, instead of resisting the wolf’s strength, the assassin droid rolled into the momentum created by the wolf to bring them both onto the ground. The wolf gave off a fierce growl and, through feral instinct, tried to use its newfound position over the droid to rip into what looked like its throat.

HK-55, drawing the vibroknife only then, sent his now free hand to grab the wolf’s muzzle into a vice grip, while his other hand rose up horizontally to plunge the vibroknife through the temple of the wolf’s skull. The blade hummed as the usually durable piece of timber offered next to no resistance to approaching blade. The arcane lights within the wolf’s eye sockets winked out of existence and the assassin droid pushed the now dead pile of wood aside to stand up and catch his blaster in mid-descent before leveling it at the next closest hostile on his sensors.

Expect, instead of the usual useless swarm of timber wolves, the assassin droid had turned his blaster upon a rather unusual new target. This timber wolf was far larger than any of its companions, even the alpha wolf he had executed from earlier paled in comparison. This new wolf even seemed to be growing bigger as its paws shook the earth beneath it with every step towards the assassin droid.

Instead of firing, HK-55 quietly observed the creature for a moment before he noticed that pieces of the smaller wolves he had killed before were quickly gravitating towards this new larger wolf, adding more and more bulk with each piece. Realization dawned on the assassin’s core processor when he noticed the small burn marks of blaster fire littered across a few sections of the wolf’s body.

[:Hostiles appear to have evolved a method for recycling their bodies once eliminated. This will require different elimination tactics going forward:]

The now gargantuan sized timber wolf was just a single step from HK-55 and it stood tall as it basked in the glory of its size over the assassin droid. The beast leaned in to roar a howling challenge to the now pitifully small quarry that had dared to challenge it in its territory, searching for weakness, and waiting to see if the strange metal creature would flee. The wolf knew that no amount of burning red death would be able to kill it fast enough before it ripped the metal creature to shreds.

“Observation: It is admirable that your kind could make such efficient use of their fallen brethren. However, you sadly suffer the same unpleasant flaws that most organics seemed to be programmed with. You make a lot of unimportant noise, suffer from a frightening lack of intelligence, and you somehow seem to think that size matters.”

After a pause, the gargantuan timber wolf growled as it got the sense that the small metal creature in front of it was mocking it. As the wolf growled, the assassin droid turned the blaster to hold it horizontality out in front of him before he bent his right wrist as a hidden compartment in the droid’s forearm rose to project a hissing nozzle. The nozzle of a class 2 Baragwin flamethrower.

“Addendum: Also, like most organics, you are astonishingly flammable.” He stated before the timber wolf began to reform in spite of the fire.

“Retraction: Not entirley flammable then. Perhaps acid would provide a more entertaining result.”

He would definitely have to record this fight so he could show his master later, perhaps he could use it as a prime example as to why HK-55 should always be allowed to use lethal force.

BIZARRO POV

After Twilight and HK-55 left to go help Trixie, Jack took me to the backside of his ship's undercarriage which was a good distance away from the crowd of curious observers. Even though they were a fair distance away, I could still hear the mutterings of the crowd as they questioned what was going on and if they'd be safe. I mentally berated myself for doing something as stupid as summoning a Displaced in the middle of town, I should have done it in a more secluded area that wouldn't cause a panic if something like an eldritch abomination stepped out of a portal.

"So, what did you need help with when you summoned me?" Jack asked as he leaned against one of the legs of his ship.

"Bizarro am have questions. Me need know more about Displaced, and me were hoping you am know them."

"Really? Alright, I can do that easily enough. Let's start off with how my sister and I were Displaced and work from there." He told me as he began to tell me the story of how he and his sister, Katy, were Displaced as a Sith Lord and Undyne respectively.

The beginning was similar to mine, went to a comic con, saw a guy at a stand with a ton of props, bought one of them, and then passed out. I found a few things about their Displacment, those being who Displaced them and how they ended up on their planet. Firstly, my Merchant wasn't dressed up as an alien walrus from Mass Effect and secondly I didn't recall seeing any purple aura when I woke up. Then again it could have been possible that the Merchant wore several different costumes and that I had slept through my crash landing on Equis.

He also told me that he and his sister met the Merchant again after they were reunited. I felt anger swell up inside of me as he talked about how the Merchant toyed with them, giving them both an ultimatum if they wanted to get their Tokens.

Jack told me that he accepted so his sister wouldn't have to pay the price, but firmly told me not to ask him what that price was. He didn't need to tell me twice, if he didn't want to talk about it then I wasn't about to force him to tell me what the Merchant did to him. Knowing that sadistic bastard it couldn't have been anything good in the slightest.

He also quelled my earlier fears by explaining that we could return to our respective MLP worlds after we were done being summoned to another Dimension. I let out a thankful sigh of relief when he told me that, I didn't want to leave my friends forever. But then again I'd have to at some point when I got back to Earth, but I was sure they would understand.

I continued to listen intently as Jack told me about his time in his world. I liked the sound of his sister Katy and felt sorry for her when he told me about her dreams to become a pilot. I doubted that she'd get the chance to put all those years of study and practice to the test in a world without airplanes

When he told me that his sister had a collar put on her because of some prick in Canterlot I felt my rage boil over as I tapped my foot anxiously. If anyone even thought of doing that to Lilly then heads would literally be rolling.

Thankfully for Katty, Jack's new position as a Warden helped her out and Princess Celestia was able to get the collar off of her neck only a few days after it was forced on her. I admired how forgiving Jack was about the situation, I don't think I would have been too forgiving if Lilly and I were in their places.

I also found it somewhat interesting that Jack talked about the Princesses and other members of royalty so casually. It felt weird to hear the word Celestia without it being after Princess. In my mind it was the equivalent of calling the Queen of England Liz or Ellie. Then again, Jack and Katy were able to form a bond with their rulers that I couldn't even hope to achieve even if I tried.

"And that brings us up to now. Everything's alright, not perfect but definitely okayish. It'll be even better when we finally get home." He told me. I'm not ashamed to admit that I squealed for joy when he mentioned the last part.

"Me still no can believe we am able to go home! Bizarro am see family again and look normal!" I shouted gleefully causing Jack to flinch before he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Uh, there's one more thing about that. We're not entirely sure we'll return human." He told me causing my face to drop.

"What?"

"Yeah. Think about it, my sister and I still look like our characters whenever we're summoned. It only makes sense that we'd look this way on Earth too. But don't worry, that's just a theory we have right now. For all we know we'll return home and be ourselves again." He told me as he tried to lighten my spirits.

It helped a little, but his earlier words still weighed heavily on my mind. There was a chance I'd still look like Bizarro, like a freak, when I got back home. What would mom say? What would Lilly think? Would anybody even believe me if I told them who I was? Would they still treat me like a normal person?

"Me... We am stuck like this?" I asked with trepidation in my voice.

"Maybe, but maybe not. Besides, I think it'll be worth looking like this to get back home." He said as he gestured to his own body. We were a pair of humans turned monsters by the Merchant and yet he seemed completely content with how he looked. Yet another thing I admired about the Sith lord, he was able to face his problems with a smile while I just wallowed in self-pity.

"Maybe... maybe you am right. Thank Jack."

"No problem man." He said as he took his hand off of my shoulder. "So what about you? Do anything cool in Equestria so far?" He asked.

I gave him the abridged version of my time in Equestria, telling him that I preformed with Trixie when she arrived, threw an Ursa Minor like a frisbee after I suplexed it, and made some friends in Ponyville before Trixie and I went on our way to Canterlot. When I got to that part of the story though I stopped and realized that Jack could help me with another problem I was having.

“Hey Jack. You am help lots but... Am it okay if me am ask for more help? It am secret thing.” I told him. He had already done so much for me by just talking to me and helping Trixie that I didn't want to ask too much of him. Thankfully, he nodded in agreement and rolled his wrist to tell me to elaborate.

“So, am you know Darth Vader?” I asked.

“Of course, he’s only like the coolest character in the original movies. Almost got a picture with him at Disney world too.”

“No, me am mean Darth Vader Displaced.”

“There’s a Displaced Darth Vader out there? Huh, I guess I should have expected other Sith out there. To answer your question, no, I haven’t met them yet. Why do you ask?”

“Bizarro lose his Lightsaber when me fight Bugs. You am have Force, am you able to find it?” I asked. If he could find Darth Vader's lightsaber then that would be another problem off of my list of growing concerns.

“If I can find an ancient ship in the middle of the ocean, I think I can find an item basically bleeding Force energy.” He stated proudly as he closed his eyes and floated in the air with his legs crossed. He held out his hand as if inviting the weapon to fly into his hand with a calm smile on his face before his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

“Strange…" He said quietly as he continued to hold his hand out. "I can sense that it’s on this continent but something is blocking me from finding it’s exact position. The best I can give you is that it’s somewhere south of here. Blocking Force powers isn’t an easy feat to accomplish. Whatever has your Lightsaber is either very powerful or has a powerful item helping them hide it." He told me as he opened up his eyes and stopped floating in the air with his force.

"I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.” He said as he stood up on his legs.

“You am help lots!” I defended. “You am helping Trick and you give me direction. You am also give Bizarro hope. Me sad when me stuck here, but there am way home. Bizarro see family again!” I shouted with joy, Jack smiled warmly as he patted me on the back.

“Yeah, we’ll get home eventually Bizarro, we all just have to hope.” He said to me before he took his hand off of his shoulder and held both his hands behind his back. “So, what was this Vader Displaced like?” Jack asked

“He am Force Ghost after he Deleted.” I explained.

“Deleted?”

“Yeah, he am explain it weird. God called Writer get bored and erase him, but it wasn’t god too. Then there were thing about tree and Frost. It am make Bizarro head hurt when he tell me.” I recapped to the best of my ability.

“I imagine a lot of things would.” He joked. I playfully punched him in the arm in return, though it was more of a tap since I didn’t want to break his arm after helping us so much. Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of a circular disk on Jack's belt beeping.

Jack took the item off of his belt and pressed down on the top, allowing a holographic projection of HK-55 knee deep in Timberwolf shards.

"Report: Hello master, I have taken care of the blue meatbag and I have eliminated 47 and a half enemies, all of which were the creatures referred to as Timber wolves."

"Disappointment: Unfortunately I have failed to locate any insectoid creatures, save for a few mosquitos which I electrocuted. I shall reinforce my efforts to search for the insect creatures and eliminate them quickly."

"Wait up HK!" Twilight shouted in the background of the hologram.

"What's going on?" Jack asked his Droid.

"Explanation: She hasn't left me alone since I left the the previous destination. She has been adamant that I explain how bacta works more thoroughly and provide her with a sample. I told her to go away or else I'd use force. However, when I attempted to shoot at her she raised a force field around herself. When my attempts to dispose of her through blaster fire, explosives, and strangulation failed I choose to ignore her. Should I attempt to use lethal force again?"

"No, just give Twilight a sample of bacta and head back to the ship. I can't sense any creatures with two hearts like Bizarro warned me of so at this point you'd just be waisting your time."

"Query: Are you certain? I could go for a few more days at least."

"I'm sure HK-55."

"Statement: So be it... I shall give a sample to the meatbag and return to the ship soon provided that I do not meet anymore hostiles." HK-55 said before the communicator turned off and his hologram disappeared.

Jack cracked his neck after his call ended and hung the communicator back on his belt. "So, do you need me for anything else?"

"No. Bizarro am not need more, you am help good." I told him.

"Great. I was worried that my first summoner would be more... Demanding." He replied "Hope you don't mind if I head on out now, got some stuff I'd like to do back home and I'm not sure how much time has passed there. For all I know, a week has already flown by while I've been talking."

"Ok. Oh, before you am leave, here am Bizarro Token. If you am need me, you no hesitate to call." I told him as I placed my lead Ring Box in his hand. As soon as it made contact with his skin his eyes widened as my mantra played in his mind, promising him and others like him that I would be there for them in a pinch if they called out for me.

When the mantra finished playing inside his mind a small portal opened above me and gave me another copy of my ring box, which I stuffed in my pocket for safe keeping.

"Huh, a Pinkie promise. Something tells me she'd like to hear about that." He stated as he put my token in his pocket. He then folded his hands in front of him, looking at me expectantly for a while.

"Um, thank you for help." I told him as the silence between us started to grow, becoming more awkward with each passing minute.

"Happy to help." He replied as he continued to just stare at me. Another minute passed in silence before I coughed into my hand.

"Me really like how you am help. Am there something you want in return?" I asked.

"Not at the moment. If I ever need you're help I'll be sure to call you."

"Ok... So, what now?"

"You end the contract."

"Contract?" I asked in confusion causing a look of realization to pass over Jack's features.

"Wait, didn't you summon a Displaced before?"

"Yes. Darth Vader am summoned long time ago." I replied.

"And didn't you complete your contract with him?"

"Me no know about contract."

"Really? That explains why you weren't saying anything. Well, you need to say 'Our Contract is complete' and I'll be on my way." He explained. Weird choice of words since this didn't really feel like a contract but hey, if it worked it worked and I wasn't going to question it.

"Alright. Our contract am complete." I said aloud. Jack looked like he was about to correct my grammar before a portal opened up in the sky for him and his ship to fly through.

"Huh. Close enough I guess." He said with a shrug of his shoulders as he held out his hand. "It was a pleasure helping you, Bizarro. If you ever need my help don't hesitate to ask. Who knows, maybe you can meet my sister next time." He told me. I gratefully accepted his hand shake, thankful for everything that he had done for me in less than a single night than most could have done in a week. I promised myself that I'd repay Jack some day for his help, it would be the least I could do to repay him for all of his help.

Jack walked up the ramp ship as it started to take off into the air. Once he reached the top of the ramp, he turned around and cupped his hand to his mouth.

"Hey Bizarro!" Jack called out. "May the Force be with you." He told me as he waved his hand goodbye.

A small smile graced my lips as I waved back. "And may Harmonic be with you." I replied, trying to repeat the words Darth Vader said to me before he left.

Jack looked a bit confused for a second before he just shrugged and continued to wave goodbye before the ramp finally closed. The Fury rose higher into the air with elegance and flew through the large portal in the sky. As the final parts of the ship sunk into the portal, it closed quickly behind it, leaving only Princess Luna's night sky in its wake.

The smile on my face grew wider as I looked up at the night sky with hope burning inside of me.

I'd return home someday.

Author's Note

A special thank you to That_Weird_Dragon for agreeing to a crossover with me. Check out their story and give them a like, favorite, and a follow if you can, or just give them words of encouragement. Please show them some support for all the hard work they do.

[Adult story embed hidden]

Interlude: Discussing the Displaced.

PRINCESS LUNA POV

My night was filled to the brim with more duties than I would normally attend to because of what occurred in Ponyville. I had spent the entirety of my night quelling the worries of Equestrian citizens by making a public announcement about the anomaly in my night sky and destroying the nightmares of Equestrian citizens who had seen the large hole appear in the sky. I admit, I too was terrified when I saw that tear, and was completely horrified when I saw the large metal structure emerge from the depths of the abyss and drift through the sky like a massive cloud.

I immediately assembled a reasonably sized battalion of Night Guards to asses the situation and intervene if they needed to. Thankfully, it would appear that the anomaly wasn’t hostile and, if Twilight’s reports were to be believed, actually helpful. The strange entity was apparently an Alien similar to Equestria’s newest resident, Bizarro, and was a creature from another Dimension entirely. Somehow Bizarro had managed to contact the other Alien using a strange pyramid like object, possibly an advanced version of our phones created by his species.

Bizarro was a curious creature, since he first arrived in Equestria he had been a complete anomaly to me. My domain over the dream realm extends to all citizens of Equestria, from dragons to zebras with the only exception being animals and changelings, so when I saw his door appear with a strange symbol I assumed he was a foreigner who immigrated to Equestria. I didn’t attempt to enter his dream for the first few nights since I could sense no nightmares, but on closer inspection on a later night I also discovered that I could sense no pleasant dreams either. When I opened the door to investigate further I was surprised by what I saw, or rather what I didn’t see. There were no dreams, no memories, not even colors, it was a completely empty void of darkness that stretched on for eternity. I studied it for a few nights before I eventually gave up and focused my efforts on dispelling nightmares. I was a Princess, and as much as I wanted to study the door, I had other duties to fulfill for the other citizens of Equestria.

I finally learned the identity of the unknown dreamer when my sister, Celestia, received a report from her protege, Twilight Sparkle, about an Alien visitor who had lived in Ponyville for several days under the guise of an earth pony stallion. Twilight had sent several parchments describing his appearance along with a drawing of the symbol branded on the chest of his costume which, according to her, symbolized "Change" on his planet.

Despite being an unknown species and being possibly dangerous, Twilight stated that she believed the being known as Bizarro Luthor was not hostile and thus should be allowed to live in Equestria. She had even went through the efforts of securing legal citizen papers that she filled out on Bizarro's behalf so that he technically wouldn't be seen as an illegal immigrant living in Equestria.

I didn't know how to feel about this unknown creature, but I trusted my sister's judgment when she agreed with Twilight, so we both decided to wait and see what Bizarro would do. It would have been fortunate if Twilight mentioned in her letters that Bizarro was actively looking for a way home, but I suppose she became distracted after she wrote a one hundred page paper theorizing how Bizarro could fly without magic or wings. Both my sister and I believed that Bizarro's planet was... that his entire family and home were dead. There is no nice way to phrase such a morbid and sad idea, to truly be alone in the universe with no family or home.

It surprised my sister when she returned to Canterlot to find him and his friend, Trixie, in our dungeons, but was able to make a guess as to why Bizarro came to Canterlot. It hurt my sister dearly to tell him that we were unable to send him home, so she asked me to watch over his dreams that night to see if I could put his mind at ease while he slept. As usual I could see no dreams behind the door, but that was not as worrying as what I noticed about his door. The symbol on his door had been broken, something I had never seen before in my lifetime.

There was a large crack that nearly split the symbol in half, which grew and repaired itself at irregular times during the nights after my sister’s meeting with him. The night when he had met the other “Displaced” known as Jack however his door was fully repaired and reinforced with brand new materials. Something else happened that night that only added more to the mystery that was Bizarro's mind.

That night, I could hear the faint laughter of a young filly from behind Bizarro’s door, though when I opened the door nothing was there. It was a complete mystery to me, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of Bizarro’s lineage or because of a spell placed on him. There were spells that hid criminals from me and changeling dreams always alluded me, but whenever a dream was hidden or I couldn’t find it, it was because their door wasn’t connected to the dream realm. Though Bizarro’s door was clearly in my domain, and yet his dreams still continued to allude me.

Bizarro was not only a mystery to me, but also a great concern to me as well. In less than a minute Bizarro was able to cause more random chaos and fear than a certain God of chaos could do in half an hour. In fact, it was enough to severely weaken the enchantments that held the Spirit of Chaos inside his stone prison in the garden of Canterlot. It worried me and Celestia greatly that he would break out of his prison if a filly so much as sneezed in his direction, so we had decided to move the statue to beneath the palace in hopes that the lack of chaos in the castle could give the enchantments their strength back.

But while that problem was dealt with, along with the problem of the massive spaceship, we still had the problem of what to do with Bizarro on our hands. Or rather, I had the problem of Bizarro in my hands since my sister apparently saw nothing wrong with the situation.

The morning was long and exhausting, hours of press conferences and even more hours of dream walking had severely drained me both mentally and physically. It was only made worse by my sister's care free attitude and happy smile, as if we weren't dealing with a possible crisis in the making.

“Sister, you are sincerely not worried?” I asked my sister as she took a bite of her pumpkin pancakes and sipped her morning tea.

“Of what?” She asked casually as she continued to go about her morning breakfast routine.

She and I sat side by side with a long table covered in dozens of breakfast items in front of us ranging from applesauce to zucchini bread muffins, a personal favorite of mine that I would indulge in whenever given the opportunity. But, I couldn’t allow that luxury with all of the worries plaguing my mind, those took precedence over a nice morning meal.

“I'm talking about Bizarro’s newest ability. I was already worried about him when Twilight informed us of his missing magic sword, but his newest ability has definitely given me cause for alarm. Surely you must agree that the power to summon beings from other Dimensions is a terrifying prospect. What if he summons a being of similar power to Marras?” I asked.

“We don’t say that name anymore.” My sister seethed as she sipped her tea.

“Why not? Just because Marras does not consider us friends does not mean we cannot speak of who he was. Sister, can you truly say that you do not care for him?”

My sister was silent for several tense moments before she placed her tea down and sighed. “No… No, I do care for him Luna. It’s just… I can’t believe he thought we betrayed him. It’s all my fault. It's always my fault.” Celestia said as she closed her eyes and placed used her right hand to hold her head up.

“Tis not thy fault!" I roared in anger causing my sister to flinch. "Let us not dwell on the past sister, it was noponies fault for what happened. We tried to speak with Marras but he would not listen, his twisted invention was his descent into darkness, not us.” I told my sister as I placed my hand on her left hand to reassure her. “Let us focus on the present and the problems we are facing now.” I told her as I attempted to take our minds off of our old friend. I should never have brought up such a sensitive topic, but I needed to make my worries known to Celestia.

“You’re right, Luna.” My sister said as she straightened her posture and resumed our earlier discussion.

“Well Luna, we can't do anything since Bizarro has broken no laws. Because of Twilight, he is a legal citizen so we can't arrest him for being an illegal immigrant, and the most we can do is claim that he disturbed the peace by summoning the other creature, something which Twilight wrote he profusely apologized for, so we don't need to do anything like put him in stone or lock him in Tartarus. Besides, I see this as a great opportunity, Luna. Should any enemies come that are too much of a challenge for the Elements or ourselves it would be good to have a backup plan."

"And you believe Bizarro would be a good back up?"

"Not just him. If Bizarro can lift an Ursa Minor like a bag of Bits then imagine what other Displaced could do. The one who just arrived gave us incredible technology that will redefine medicine as we know it; We could theoretically cure Alzheimers, heart disease, and perhaps create a more effective cure for Swamp Fever, all from one sample of this ‘Bacta’ that the other Displaced gave us. They could redefine the periodic table as we know it and advance our technology and agriculture by generations, and... And part of me hopes that they could finish Starswirl's spell..." My sister admitted.

"You mean his version of the dimensional spell, don't you?" I asked. My sister nodded as she looked at the stain-glass window of the Crystal Empire, a piece of art that had a very important figure removed from the scene.

"I do. Starswirl never finished his spell to get beings out of there, but what if one of these Displaced can? They're from other Dimensions, they might know something about letting us get Phantom out of there. Not only that but… I worry about us, Luna. Phantom and Marras are both gone, who will be here when we are gone?” My sister asked with dread dripping from her words. “It would be like the old times, our little ponies sacrificing their magic to raise and lower the sun and moon, starving for food, wendigos running rampant, it would be mayhem. But what if there’s a Displaced out there who could do our job when we’re gone, one who could keep our citizens safe? And think of the other Celestias and Lunas out there who could take our little ponies in should the worst happen to us or our world. I understand the risks of using Displaced, so we shall only use them if completely necessary. Although, I don’t necessarily think that we should stop Bizarro from summoning them.”

“Why? What good would come out of summoning them outside of combat or a disaster?” I asked.

“You don’t understand, Luna. Displaced aren’t just tools we can use, they’re beings like Bizarro. They’re his own species, and possibly the closest thing he’ll ever find to family while he lives in Equestria. Wouldn’t you love to meet more beings like us, Luna, beings who understood our hardships, our problems, and knew things only Alicorns knew?" My sister rhetorically asked. I admit, I would have liked to see more Alicorns like us. The only other living Alicorn on Equis was our niece, Mi Amore Credenza, and even she was not a full blooded Alicorn. Twilight had the potential to ascend to an Alicorn if something unlocked the restraints in her DNA, but that would take such a long time and immense amount of mana. I dreadfully missed the days when Celestia and I would play with other Alicorns.

"I couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to," My sister continued a moment later. "the sadness I saw in his eyes when I crushed his hopes for returning home nearly broke me. I’m not supposed to be the pony who destroys hope, I’m the one who reinforces it, that's who Phantom taught me to be." My sister said before she sighed at the memory of our long lost teacher. She avoided reminiscing about our past for too long by continuing her previous train of thought.

"Besides, we have no right to keep Bizarro away from his own kind, that being said however, we won’t let him do as he pleases either without any repercussions. Should any of the Displaced he summons cause harm to our citizens whether they be pony, dragon, yack, or even an integrated changeling, then both Bizarro and that Displaced will be punished severely.” Celestia finished, causing me to ponder her argument.

“Hmmm. That is a fair point, sister. Although I am not fully comfortable with this decision, I can understand Bizarro’s need for company…” I stated as memories of my banishment momentarily flashed in my mind. Trapped on my desolate moon with only one friend who quickly turned into an enemy after millennia of bickering and arguments.

“You’re sure the intel you have is correct, Luna?” My sister asked.

“Yes. From the conversation Silent Night could hear a few blocks away from her position, it appears that a Displaced needs a series of oral commands to leave.”

“In equish, dear sister.” Celestia said with a smile on her face. I rolled my eyes as I stated the facts we knew.

“If Bizarro or perhaps even we say ‘Our Contract is complete’, or some variation of that, the individual will likely leave. Though it is uncertain if they can decide to stay after those words are uttered it is assumed that they cannot leave until Bizarro or somepony says those words or something similar to them. So, if a Displaced should cause us any trouble, we can hold them here and decide their punishment, withholding their ability to return home and escape our judgment so long as those words are not spoken. Whether or not the Displaced needs to be within earshot of those words is unknown, but so long as we are able stop Bizarro from speaking we should be able to punish any Displaced who harm our citizens.” I recapped for my sister who nodded approvingly as she returned to her breakfast.

I didn't completely agree with my sister, but I could see her reasoning, use of these Displaced could help Equestria and even Equis itself immensely should they be as helpful as the one Bizarro summoned. However, in my mind, the possible benefits outweighed the serious impact this could have on Equis.

In the letter Twilight wrote she stated that Bizarro had mentioned a being who could literally devour planets who was known as "Galaxy". From the way Bizarro spoke of the entity, it would appear that they too were a Displaced but one Bizarro had not met. I had no doubt in my mind that if even one Displaced had ill intentions, they could and most likely would reek mayhem and slaughter thousands in their wake of destruction.

I also worried about this "Seller", or Merchant as the other stallion reportedly called him, a powerful magic user responsible for sending Bizarro to us when he was attending a Wizard Convention. The Seller had specifically sent Bizarro to our world for some reason, and I dreaded what that reason could have been. Was Bizarro sent for the same reason Lord Tirek was? Was he a being sent to destroy and devour our magic like the alien tyrant? Could we even stop Bizarro with our magic, what was to say Bizarro wasn't lying about his condition to lull us into a false sense of security? And what of the other Equis that the red skinned Displaced resided in?

Not only did I worry about Bizarro, but I worried about these other worlds as well. While Cesestia chose to believe that all of the other worlds were peaceful, I was more practical in my reasoning. Should multiverse theory actually be correct, then that would mean every possible outcome occurred in one dimension or another, meaning there could have easily been dozens of Nightmare Moons out there, perhaps enough to build a large army. I only hoped that should such an event actually transpire that the Elements of Harmony and perhaps a few kind hearted Displaced would be there to help us in our dire time of need.

Underneath all of my dread and fear also laid a small yearning to to travel to these other worlds, to see our teacher's, Phantom and Marras again. To see them smile once more, to just hug them and never let go. But could such a thing even be possible? Should I even hold out hope that one of them could help us retrieve Phantom from that dreadful prison? Dare I even dream of a world where I may see my teachers again? I didn't know the answer, and I was too afraid to find out what that answer would be.

All I could do was hope for the best and see how events would unfold.

Sticks and Stones Break Bones, Words Break Will.

BIZARRO POV

The infernal morning sun shone over the horizon and directly into my eyes that early morning as I walked towards the hospital to meet up with Twilight so we could check up on Trixie.

I dragged my feet on the dirt path towards the hospital as I made sure to arrive before five am and avoid most of the foot traffic in the morning. In hindsight, summoning a Displaced in the middle of town with no idea what would happen wasn’t one of my better ideas since coming to Equestria.

Twilight had to explain to the princesses that I was from another Dimension and tell the townsponies that I was an alien. After that she told them all that, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna immediately sent a scroll and ordered the town to take a vow of silence concerning the other alien I “called” and not tell anycreature that I was an alien from another planet. It was a pretty cut and dry affair, the princesses ordered it so they’d follow that order without hesitation. The only problem? That order didn’t say they had to treat me like a normal pony.

I saw it in their eyes when they looked at me, the fear and uneasiness that hid behind their colorful irises. Weeks ago they all loved me, and all it took was one secret to get out for them all to change their tune in a heartbeat. Thankfully some ponies were more accepting of others, but not by much.

The children were absolutely amazed that an alien was living in Ponyville, my friends Big Mac, Snowflake, and Spike accepted me, and Zecora didn’t seem phased in the slightest when it was announced at the town assembly, though I could have sworn I saw a small smile on her face for a moment.

Aside from the children and my friends, a mint colored unicorn mare named Lyra also became one of my new admirers. Apparently she was laughed out of Canterlot for believing there was extraterrestrial life out there in the infinite cosmos, and my existence pretty much proved all of her theories correct. Theories like different planets being different sizes, having different gravities, planets that revolved around the sun or had more than one moon, I had confirmed all of them.

She had a similar reaction to Twilight when I talked about my planet’s name and blushed when I mentioned that one of the planets in my solar system was called Uranus. When I told her that one of the planets was no longer considered a real planet she actually became furious, arguing that “A Dwarf Planet is still a planet, it’s in the Luna Damned name!” And I full heartedly agreed with her, mainly because I didn’t want her wrath pointed in my direction.

So, aside from the younger ponies, my friends, and a few optimistic theorists, most of the town had feared me. I could hear the whispers they all silently spoke, each voice growing louder inside my mind. They hadn't stopped since last night, and had completely prevented me from getting a restful night's sleep.

Where did he come from? Are there more? Is he going to invade us? He was near out children. Why is he still here? What was that other thing in the spaceship? I’d feel safer if he was gone. He's dangerous. He lifted an Ursa Minor like a kitten. How can we trust it?

It... They called me an it...

It hurt me to have almost all of the townsponies turn on me in a heartbeat, a few weeks prior I was completely normal in there eyes, but now they all saw me for what I was. I was a monster.

FINE! If they don’t want me here then I’ll be happy to leave when I’m summoned back to Earth. I thought angrily. I was angry with how quickly they all assumed the worst, but was absolutely furious with a certain lying Sith.

Why did Darth Vader lie about not being able to go home? He said I had to die if I wanted to, and that even then I might not have been able to go home. He lied to me, he manipulated me. He thought I was dumb and gullible like Bizarro, well I'll show that bastard when me manipulate his spine to break over Bizarro knee!

As my thoughts raged on inside my head I felt the need to let out my aggression on something, anything, just so long as I got to get it out of my system. I looked around for something to relieve me with, completely forgetting about my plans to see Twilight so we could check up on Trixie.

My sights finally settled on Snowflake's gym, Bulk Bicep's Gym. It was a large red brick building with two floors, the second floor had long windows that wrapped around the building, allowing anypony exercising on the second floor to look outside or do some pony watching while they exercised. Over the two glass doors of the entrance hun a wooden sing with Snowflake's Cutie mark on it, directly beneath the words "Bulk Biceps".

During our game night of Ogres and Oubliettes, I asked Snowflake what it was like to work for somepony named Bulk Biceps. He laughed and told me that he was Bulk Biceps. Apparently, Snowflake had taken that name on as a pen name when he opened his business since ponies and other creatures didn't want to go to a place called Snowflake's Gym to exercise, go figure.

I pushed the doors open and made my way inside the building as I surveyed the room. There was a row of treadmills to my immediate right, to my left was a large rack of dumbbells that were stacked up to the ceiling, clearly a safety hazard that no one bothered to rectify, a few benches to sit on and lift weights, and there was a large boxing ring that laid in the center of the room. It had four blue and red ropes were attached to the posts and pulled parallel under tension with turnbuckles to form the boundary of the ring. The platform was raised several feet in the air to allow the perfect viewing experience for spectators to enjoy the show, with a set of bleachers lining the far left wall to allow the optimal viewing experience.

"Hey, Bro!" An enthusiastic stallion called out. I turned to look at Snowflake putting down a dumbbell and wipe himself off with a towel. "Good to see ya up and early Bro. What brings you to my place?"

"Bizarro need punch." I told him as my eyes landed on a punching-bag that hung from the ceiling. It was tucked away in the corner of the room near the entrance to the changing room. The sandbag was about as tall as I was, it gently drifted in the air as a rotary fan turned to give it a gentle nudge, allowing the chains that held up the bag to creak silently. The old punching bag had obviously seen years of abuse, it's once bright red color had become faded and several different colored patches of cloth held the bag together so it wouldn't leak.

I walked unto the sandbag without hesitation and threw a flurry of punches at it, popping open the patchwork that held it together with each punch, before my final punch sent it flying off of the chain. As the bag exploded against the wall of the gym I breathed heavily, the fatigue from no sleep only only relying on my rage to fuel me had finally caught up to me.

"Whoa Bro, you okay?" Snowflake asked as he admired my handiwork.

"Bizarro fine." I seethed out as I breather heavily through my nose.

"Look Bro, all that pent up rage isn't good for the heart. Lets burn off some of that aggression in the ring." He offered as he walked towards the boxing ring. My anger faltered slightly as I thought about fighting a pony with my strength, I didn't want to hurt Snowflake by punching him too hard.

"Um, Bizarro no need-"

"Back! Bawk, back, back, baaaawck." Snowflake teased, interrupting my by imitating the sounds of a chicken as he waved his tiny pegasus wings.

"Bizarro no nee-"

"Ba-BAWK! Bawk!" He continued to tease. I closed my eyes as I tried to drown out his immature noises, but the loudness of my own thoughts prevented me from focusing on anything other than him making those damn noises or all of those ponies who were afraid of me. "Come on, Bro, lets fight away that anger. Show your emotions who's boss! YEAH!"

After a few more faux chicken noises from my friend I leapt over the rope that surrounded the boxing ring.

"Heck Yeah, Bro! Now, come at me." Snowflake told me as he held up his fists. I took a deep breath before I threw a slow punch as Snowflake that he could easily dodge, almost like I was trying to punch a balloon that could pop at any moment. However, instead of dodging he grabbed my arm and threw me over him. Within seconds I was lying flat on my back and staring at the lights on the ceiling.

"Come on Bro, ya gotta try harder than that." Snowflake said as he bounced from one foot to the other. I got back to my feet and attempted to throw another soft punch, once again ending with me laying on my back when Snowflake flipped me over his shoulder.

This continued for several minutes, Snowflake would dance around me and avoid my purposefully slow punches before he would flip me or throw me off balance with a well placed kick. Snowflake never threw a single punch, he would only throw mocking punches to show off as he bounced on his toes on the other side of the ring. Before I knew it, my punches were becoming faster and harder, but each one was still dodged with ease as if Snowflake was just a leaf dancing on the wind in front of me.

My anger started to boil over as I continued to miss him time and time again, each failed hit reminding me of of every confrontation I had in Equestria. I had my ass handed to me time and time again, when I met Trixie, when I fought those changelings, not to mention the time I failed to run away from Darth Vader's ghost. My only victory was against a bear that I found out was a baby, a fucking baby!

I was the strongest man on the damn planet, but I kept losing over and over again, and I kept getting angrier. Ponies were afraid of me because I was so strong, but at this rate I'd be lucky to win against a paper bag.

I threw another fast punch at Snowflake, which he once again dodged with ease, before he grabbed my arm and hurled my over his shoulder. My back hit the floor with a loud thud, shaking the entire ring as my body made contact with the patted surface of the boxing ring.

"Almost got me that time, Bro." Snowflake teased as I gritted my teeth and shot back up.

"Bizarro make you smile!" I shouted at Snowflake as I ran at him and twisted my body, pulling my arm back to throw a harder punch than the others. I lost myself in my anger, and to my complete surprise , he dodged out of the way and swept me off of my legs with a well placed kick. As my back once again hit the floor, I could hear Snowflake laughing.

"You're right, I am smiling." He teased before I shot back onto my and charged at him. He bobbed out of the way before he threw a punch at my jaw, causing me to fly out of the ring and into a rack of dumbbells.

"Changeling Dung Bro, are you okay?" He asked as he hopped over the the ropes of the boxing ring and rushed over to me. I groaned in pain as I pulled myself out of the pile of weights.

"Bizarro good." I breathed out as Snowflake held out his hand to me. As I looked up at him a dozen emotions ran through me, anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, and most prominently of all, terror. My thoughts had finally cleared and I realized that I had just tried to hurt one of my only friends.

"Me... Me so sorry." I breathed out as I backed away from his hand in fear. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I could have killed him!

Snowflake watched my face intently for a brief moment before he grabbed my twitching hand. "It's alright, Bro. Sorry that I goaded you a bit in there, I was just yanking' your chain a bit." He apologized as he helped me get to my feet. I instantly shook my head and returned the apology.

"No, Bizarro am go too far in there, me almost hurt you!" I admitted.

"It's cool, Bro. Besides, I can't really feel anything with these bad Gal's on." He said as he flicked one of his golden hooped earrings. "Cost a pretty Bit ta get enchanted jewelry, but totally worth it Bro. YEAH!"

"But me am strong. How those protect you? Bizarro could have... Could have..." I trailed off as I looked at my shaking hands. I would have become a murderer over a joke! What kind of monster am I?!

"Heck yeah you are, but even you couldn't do much against these. They're made of a special gold they use the same stuff to make guard armor. Smaller accessories are made for ponies working manual labor like construction and stuff. After I dropped one too many dumbbells on my foot, I coughed up the Bits and got some protection." He reassured me. I doubted how well they could have protected Snowflake against an actual attack from me, even if that protected him from a wrecking ball, I sincerely doubted it would be much for my heightened strength.

"Still, Bizarro am cross line. Me no know you were safe. Bizarro nearly hurt you!"

"Relax Bro, you didn't even land a hit on me. It's all good. Now, mind tellin' your bro what's eating you?" He asked as he led me to one of the workout benches and sat down. I took a seat next to him, my own weight causing the bench to groan underneath the new pressure.

"Bizarro am just... Me am tired... Me do stupid thing and now ponies no like Bizarro. And now me do this? They am right, Bizarro am bad."

"What? Bro, everypony loves you. I mean sure, some mares don't like Janefillies like us, but buck them, you're awesome! YEAH!"

"... You no hear them..." I said quietly as tears began to well in my eyes. "So many am so loud... They think me am hurt foals, think Bizarro am disturbed. Bizarro not want be bad, Bizarro just want be normal." I admitted as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Bro, I dunno whose been filling your head with this junk, but nopony thinks that. And even if some of them do, well to heck with them. They just don't see how awesome you are." He told me as he patted me on my back.

"Ya know, when I was a colt I wasn't too popular. I was small and frail, weaker than any colt or filly in my class. So, I tried to become popular by getting stronger, so I exercised every day in my free time, building up muscle and eating healthy to keep it. I got a lot of friends, but there were a lot of ponies who were jealous and didn't like me. Heck, they downright hated me because I was bigger than them.

"My Mom told me that no matter how many ponies loved me, I'd still have ponies who didn't. Ya know what else he said?" He rhetorically asked. "He said that for every enemy I would have a dozen strangers who could become friends. Just because there are a few ponies who don't like you doesn't mean others won't. The world's a big place and you can make a lot of enemies and even more friends in it. Just keep being you and I'm sure you'll have more friends than enemies. Even if ya got like a hundred more enemies a month your gonna have more friends in the end."

"Bizarro... no think of it that way before."

"Almost nopony does, Bro. Ya got anywhere you need to be, or do you feel like going a few more rounds?" He asked as he got off of the bench and stretched his back.

"Bizarro no able to, me and Twilight need see how Trick am." I explained.

"I get'cha, Bro. Come by anytime and we'll do a few more rounds." He said as he held out his clenched fist to me. I small smile graced my face as I returned his fist bump delicately.

"Before Bizarro go, me need ask how you am move so fast in ring."

"Bro, I'm a pegasus, if you asked me to, I could find a needle in a small haystack with a quick glance. I could tell your every move since you telegraphed them. Have you ever even thrown a punch before, Bro?"

"No. Me not really used to fighting." I admitted a little sheepishly. I had assumed that my hightened strength and speed could make up for my lack of experience in fighting, but apparently there was more to it than who had more muscle.

"Alright, then the next time you're here, I'm gonna show you how to throw a punch like a pro. YEAH!" He cheered as he turned around and walked towards the locker room, throwing a fist in the air to punctuate his excitement.

When I pushed open the doors to leave the building, I was able to see a handful of ponies milling about outside setting up stalls or going to work. A few ponies noticed me leaving Snowflake's place and began to whisper to each other as they threw cautious glances my way. I could close my eyes or look at something else, but I couldn't turn off my ears on a whim and not listen to their words.

Each whispered conversation struck my like an arrow in the head, burying their words inside my skull with each hushed exchange. I unconsciously quickened my pace as I went to the hospital before I heard somepony call out my name.

"Hey Bizarro, wait!" A young voice called out. I turned around to see a tall orange unicorn and a short blue unicorn colt run over to me.

"Hello?" I said as they reached me. When they finally caught up, they were both out of breath from running.

“H-hi. Me am Snips.” The tall one orange colt, who I guessed was Snips, said.

“Snaaails. You’re doing it wrong. I-I mean. Me am Snips, he am Snails. We am want hear how cool Bizarro am.” The stubby blue one, who was actually named Snips, said. I never bothered to find out who was who when I was cleaning up the wagon.

“Am you trying insult Bizarro?” I asked in a harsh tone that told them I was not amused.

“N-No. Snails and me am just really like you!” Snips defended.

“Yeah! You’re awesome. I mean, you am so cooool.” Snails said with genuine happiness.

My slowly building rage subsided as I heard that. "You... You like Bizarro?" I asked cautiously.

"Heck yeah! You're incredible!" Snips told me excitedly. A small smile spread across my face as I looked down at the young colts.

"T-Thank you..."

"You're welcome. Hey, am you going to see Trixie at the hospital?" Snails asked.

"Yes, Bizarro was just going."

"Can we come with? We want to give Trixie some muffins we made." Snips told me with pleading eyes as he held out a small paper bag. My smile grew slightly as I looked down at them, they weren't even slightly afraid me, and more importantly, they wanted to make sure Trixie was alright. I was sure she wouldn't mind if her adoring fans came to wish her well.

"Me think Bizarro can do that, follow me." I replied as I resumed walking to the hospital with Snips and Snails following closely behind.

TRIXIE POV

I shivered as another unknown breeze blew past the back of my neck, and I flinched as the mysterious chill but tried to not show too much of a reaction in case those invisible creatures were watching me. I stared the television that hung from the ceiling of my ~~cell~~ "hospital" room with narrowed eyes as I questioned everything around me. I was a performer, I could easily see through all of their smoke and mirrors and see what was really going on underneath the surface. I wasn’t in Ponyville Hospital, I wasn’t safe, but I couldn’t let them know I knew.

The tv was playing a news broadcast of Princess Luna reassuring everypony that nothing was wrong with the night sky, and that what they had apparently seen was a prototype of a cloudless floating building. The news footage of the strange object looked completely unrealistic, there was no way in Tartarus a building that big could fly, even if both princesses enchanted it with hundreds of levitation spells.

It actually irked me that they thought I was so stupid to believe their fake broadcast. Since I woke up I was suspicious of everypony at the “hospital”. It was convenient that my bed was the only one occupied and I’m sure it was just a coincidence that all of the books in the room related to changelings in one form or another.

At first I was tempted to believe that I was safely back in Ponyville, but several things weren’t adding up for me and I didn’t like it. The fact that they told me Bizarro couldn’t see me while I was unconscious made me doubt how truthful they were being. That doubt was only reinforced when a "nurse" told me how I was healed.

Apparently, an advanced Sentry with a magical liquid from another planet came into my room and injected me because an Alien who may or may not have been related to Bizarro ordered him to help me? Moreover, said alien had a massive spaceship but didn’t fly Bizarro to his home-planet to see his sister again? Right, because that makes sense. Also, apparently I was completely fine but I still wasn’t allowed to leave my “room” for whatever reason. Did they actually expect me to fall for any of that? It all sounded completely nonsensical to me, like something a foal would make up on the spot to convince their parents that they didn’t shave their pet dog.

The final nail in the coffin however was a vase of evening-primroses that rested on my nightstand. Next to the flowers was a small yellow card with even smaller handwriting that read “From Bizarro and friends, get well soon.” But what those bastards didn’t know is that Bizarro couldn't write, meaning that he couldn’t have gotten those flowers!

It was all so obviously a lie, and I wouldn’t fall for their trickery. I was worried about Bizarro and I considered the possibility that he was being lied to like I was. Or maybe he had actually managed to get away from those changelings and save himself.

After abandoning you.

But he wouldn’t have left me, right? They would have gotten him too, maybe they got him before me.

Or did he just leave you? My mind questioned. Bizarro can fly, breath fire, shoot ice beams out of his eyes, he's faster than a locomotive and more powerful than an Ursa Minor. He's Superman. He could handle a few changelings, he could even handle an army of them. So he had to have left you. He doesn't care about you. Nobody does. My mind reasoned bitterly as a few tears welled up in my eyes. My thoughts were at war with each other, and my emotions were running rampant as I tried to calm myself.

I didn’t want to think that he left me for dead, that he abandoned me. He couldn't have done that, I was his friend. I desperately wanted to think that he fought tooth an nail to save me. But if he did go all out then you wouldn’t have been in a fake Hospital room. You're probably in a fake Ponyville too, there's no hope. They'll be coming to get you soon.

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!

You know it's true. You need to get out of here, get away as far as humanly possible. My mind warned me. It was right. There wasn't time to think about what happened in the forest, I had to think of a way to get out of this fake hospital as quickly as possible.

TWILIGHT POV

My hands fidgeted nervously as I waited for Bizarro to come to the hospital. He was almost thirty minutes late by this point and I was beginning to feel worried. Bizarro told me that he wanted to come early so he could avoid most of the foot traffic outside, which made some sense after what happened last night at the town assembly. Some ponies in Ponyville weren't reacting the best to the fact that we had a resident from the stars living among us, and I thought their reaction to Zecora was bad.

While most ponies hid in fear of Zecora after Daisy spread rumors about her, it seemed like the citizens held more animosity towards Bizarro. I didn't understand it, it wasn't like Bizarro was a changeling or anything like that, he was still the same Bizarro they all got to know weeks ago.

I hoped that they would all come around soon, Bizarro didn't deserve to be treated any differently than any other pony, he was a good stallion. But most ponies weren't able to look past his species or abilities. Thankfully, nopony had been physically violent with Bizarro, but that didn't mean it couldn't happen.

My thoughts of Bizarro were quickly interrupted as I heard the sound of magic being fired down the hallway before Trixie shot through the doors with a bed pan in her hands. The nurse sat the front desk ran towards Trixie to get her back to her room but Trixie quickly hit that nurse in the face with her bedpan and knocked her out.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, Trixie was acting like an animal, kicking the downed nurse repeatedly. What had gone wrong? Was this a side effect of that strange medicine? It never went through any proper tests before it was given to Trixie, what if it induced panic and animalistic actions in the subject?

Trixie's rage filled eyes traveled through the room before she started to sprint towards the exit.

"Trixie, please stop!" I shouted as I tried to use my levitation spell on her to stop her but before I could, Trixie ran face first into Bizarro's chest.

"Trick?" Bizarro asked. In an instant, Trixie broke the bedpan over Bizarro's head.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" She shouted as she tried to run to the other exit. I quickly sealed it off with my magic by putting a barricade in front of it.

"Trixie, please stop!" I pleaded with her. Trixie, almost instinctively, charged up the magic in her horn and shot a blast of condensed magic at me. Before it could hit me however, I was pushed out of the way by Snips and Snails, allowing the magic to miss me and blast a sizable hole in the wall.

I stared at the damage with terror, before my attention was grabbed again by Trixie as she fell to her knees and clutched her head in pain.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" She repeated several times as she started to tear out her mane. Trixie's hands flew to her neck as she coughed furiously and gagged.

"Trick!" Bizarro shouted fearfully as he rushed over to her and helped her up.

"NO! You're not real, get away from me!" Trixie screamed in rage as she struggled in Bizarro's hands.

"Trick, what wrong?"

"Get away from me! Please!" Trixie cried out as she suddenly stopped struggling and fell limp in Bizarro's hands. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Please, just let me go." She repeated silently under her breath. Her choked sobs grew louder as long trails of tears fell from her eyes.

Bizarro hugged Trixie tightly to his chest and ran his fingers through her hair as he tried to calm her down. "Shhh. Shhhh. It okay Trick, everything okay. Calm down. You am safe..." Bizarro told her as she cried into his chest.

What in Celestia just happened?

Reunions and Goodbyes.

BIZARRO POV

My foot tapped nervously on the wooden floorboards of the Friendship Express train station, slowly creating a noticeable dent in the wooden surface with each impact. Seconds ticked by at an agonizing pace as I waited for the next train to Ponyville to arrive, I silently prayed for Trixie to be alright. After her episode at the hospital, the staff subdued her and took her back to her room for the safety of herself and the other patients.

While Trixie was physically better, she wasn't doing well mentally. It hurt me to know that Trixie was suffering like that, not even trusting the ponies around her after what had happened in the Everfree. Twilight believed that it was a side-effect of the medicine we gave Trixie, which only added onto the pain I felt. I only wanted to help Trixie, and in my stupid haste I only ended up hurting her even more. Some "friend" I was.

I fucked up everything and ended up hurting Trixie in ways that I couldn't even imagine. While I had the reassurance of my super hearing to let me know if somepony was a changeling, Trixie didn't have that luxury. To her, anypony and anything could have been one of those monsters in disguise. And her fear and paranoia would only get worse unless she got the help she needed, and we fully intended to do just that.

Twilight and I sat at the train station on the outskirts of Ponyville around midafternoon waiting for the next train to Ponyville. Twilight had successfully managed to contact one of Trixie's relatives who sent a letter via Magic fire to tell Twilight that she'd be coming to Ponyville on the next available train.

I was so grateful that Trixie had somepony out there who cared enough to come help her, she needed all the love and support she could get after what she went through.

I was also amazed to know just how much Trixie's Great Aunt cared for her. Apparently, she and Twilight had broken a few dozen laws by using Magic fire to send letters to other cities. It turns out Magic fire could only be legally used to send letters within small communities, the only exception being emergencies or letters to higher ups in Canterlot. The reasoning behind regulating it so strongly was because the mailing and shipping industry would take a major hit if everypony could just light a candle and send a letter, leading to hundreds of ponies losing their jobs in a matter of moments.

What's more, there wasn't a way to check what was being sent though Magic fire, so somepony could send a bomb with a magic candle and kill someone with ease. It made me realize just how dangerous and beneficial magic could be. After all, Trixie was able to blast a giant hole through solid concrete like it was Styrofoam.

If Snips and Snails hadn't pushed her out of the way, Twilight would have died if she were hit, it would have been all my fault. I was so surprised by what was happening that I didn't even move a muscle until after Twilight was pushed out of the way. I had super speed for Christ's sake, and I didn't even try to use it! How the fuck am I supposed to help anyone if I kept fucking up like that?!

You just have to try harder. Next time, you need to focus on protecting Twilight. My mind reasoned.

Yes. Yes, I'll protect Twilight better next time. Not just her, but Trixie too. I thought as the sound of a train whistle went off in the distance and was soon followed by a train popping up over the horizon. Unlike the colorful train that ran layer in the day, the early train was worn down and old. Paint chips clung to the sides of the carriages in desperation, trying in vain to keep the original designs that once decorated the train. The parts of the decorative surface that weren't falling apart were covered by equally colorful graffiti of caricatures and bubbly letters that spelled illegible words.

The old train slowed down and rolled into the station with whining in protest as they glided against the tracks. The only thing that stopped the train's wheels from screeching were several well-placed muffler enchantments that were carved into the wheels of the train. When the train finally came to a complete stop, the train whistle sounded off twice and the door of the train opened up.

The faint sound of a weak heartbeat was the first thing I noticed as the other noises of the train died down, followed by the sound of two squeaky wheels rolling on the carpet of the train.

"Now, now sunny, I can take care of myself." An elderly voice in the train stated weakly.

"Sorry, Miss. Protocol dictates that all the elderly are to be escorted off trains for their safety." The firm voice of a stallion replied. I head the older mare scoff before she was pushed out of the train by the stallion.

"Are you calling me old? I'm only in my fifties!"

"And you don't look a day over forty!" The stallion replied as he tried not to offend the mare.

The stallion was nopony special, pegasus, blue hair, olive colored skin, typical stallion. The mare on the other hand, she had my complete and undivided attention. She wore a dull burgundy shawl scarf that covered most of her torso and partially hid the Cutie mark on her pink shirt, she also had a purple skirt that reached her ankles and a large brim sun hat that nearly obscured her horn. Her skin was a pale yellow with a brilliantly red mane that had streaks of greying yellow running through it, giving the elderly mare an immediately recognizable look, one that I was fairly aquatinted with after three movies and several dozen episodes of Equestria Girls.

"Mrs. Shimmer, it's great to meet you." Twilight said as she walked over to the elderly version of Sunset Shimmer.

How? How is she here? Why now? I thought to myself, as I watched them shake hands. I couldn't believe my eyes, Sunset Shimmer, the villain turned hero, was right in front of me. I always wondered why I never ran into her in Ponyville since she was supposed to be great friends with the other members of the HuMane Seven in the movies and episodes. And now, to see her as such an old mare only raised more questions in my mind.

“Bizarro, this is Trixie’s Great Aunt, Mrs. Shimmer. Mrs. Shimmer, this is Trixie’s friend, Bizarro.” Twilight introduced as I continued to stare at the older version of Sunset Shimmer with wide eyes.

“A pleasure to meet you.” Sunset Shimmer said as she grabbed a cane connected to her wheelchair and shakily attempted to stand up and walk over to me. I immediately walked over to her and helped her sit back down before I shook her hand.

“Hello, it am good to see you too.” I said as I lowered Sunset Shimmer back down into her seat gently.

“Oh, aren’t you sweet. Thank you, Bizarro.” She said. I only nodded in response before I stood by Twilight's side. I subconsciously checked to see how many hearts the older Sunset had to see if she was a changeling in disguise, but she was as much a pony as Twilight or Trixie. I checked again to be safe, and then again to confirm it, and each time I only heard one heartbeat in her chest.

How is she so... Old? She was like a teenager in the movies, there's... There's no way this is her, right? Shit, what do I know about Sunset? Uh, she was Princess Celestia's former student, she wanted to steal Twilight's magical crown, and she lived in a magical mirror world where she went to high school. How the hell is she so old?!

"Are you okay, Bizarro?" Twilight asked me, shaking me out of my stunned stupor.

"Oh, y-yeah. Bizarro am good. So, you am Trick's Aunt?"

"Great Aunt, though Trixie likes to tack on 'and powerful' whenever she can." Sunset Shimmer said fondly before she looked back at Twilight with determination burning in her eyes. "How's Trixie doing? You said she'd wake up soon, right?"

"Yes, and she did, but... Something happened." Twilight replied grimly.

TWILIGHT POV

After taking the necessary time to explain to Mrs. Shimmer what happened at the hospital, Mrs. Shimmer demanded that we went to the hospital as soon as possible to check up on her niece. Bizarro helped push her wheelchair over the gravel filled roads of Ponyville which, in turn, made me realize just how little of Ponyville was designed with handicapped ponies in mind, with the only exceptions being the hospital, train station, and the school house. Once Mrs. Shimmer helped calm Trixie down I'd bring this issue to Mayor Mare's attention so she could rectify it.

"How much longer till we get there?" She asked.

"A few more blocks." I replied. A familiar silence fell over us as we continued to travel to the hospital. For some odd reason, Bizarro would occasionally throw a glance at Mrs. Shimmer before seemingly throwing his attention somewhere else whenever Mrs. Shimmer would look back at him.

"So, Bizarro right? You seem awfully quiet. Got something on your mind?" Mrs. Shimmer asked Bizarro.

"Well, uhhhh. Me would like know more about Trick's family." Bizarro said with a strangely nervous smile.

"Oh, she actually told you her real name?"

" 'real name'?" Bizarro parroted.

"Oh yeah, you didn't know? My brother Jackpot had the 'genius' idea of naming his daughter Trick. I don't know how he convinced Showcase to agree to that, but he managed it somehow. Faust knows what I would have done if Cannon Fodder tried to give our foals a name like that."

"Who am Cannon Fodder?"

"My Husband. I shared him with my best friends, Adagio, Sonata, and Aria. Almost convinced Twilight to join us, but then she found Night Light and got with him.” She told us. I immediately stopped in my tracks and looked back at Mrs. Shimmer after she mentioned my dad's name.

"You... Uh... Did... Did you know my mom?" I asked nervously.

"Wait... Oh, Faust I'm going blind. Of course, your that Twilight. I can't believe I didn't put two and two together in your letter. Yeah, I knew your mother. Twi always loved doing her little experiments and what-not. Always causing trouble and stuff." Miss Shimmer told me. I tried to ignore her words, but they unintentionally hit me like arrows. A much more uncomfortable silence fell over us as I turned around and continued walking.

"She's proud of you, you know that, right?" Miss Shimmer asked me. I struggled to keep the tears hidden behind my eyelids as I hesitantly nodded. "Look, I understand it hurts, but it wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"

I... I didn't say anything as I just continued walking towards the hospital with Bizarro and Mrs. Shimmer in tow. I didn't want to drudge up those memories again, especially around ponies who weren't family. Bizarro thankfully read the mood in the air and attempted to start up a different conversation.

"Sooooo, what am Sunset do?"

"Not much. I can't do much with a busted leg, so I just helped around the house with Cannon Fodder for a while. I also ended up becoming a pretty good painter and sold some of the paintings I made under a pseudonym. Then when Cannon passed, Faust rest his soul, I took up house maintenance full time while Adagio, Sonata, and and Aria work at their cafe slash music shop." She told us. Bizarro and Mrs. Shimmer continued to talk for a while about a few things but I only picked up parts and pieces of their conversation as I stayed inside my own head for a while. I only rejoined the conversation when I heard Mrs. Shimmer mention Princess Celestia.

"-course, I was a spoiled brat who thought I knew better. I ended up breaking into the library and tried to finish one of Srtarswirl's spells when she found me. A 'grand' escape through a window and several stories later, I ended up with this wheelchair. I was too stubborn at the time to admit what I did was wrong and ended up resenting her for it. But, now everything is patched up between us, I even got an invite to the next Grand Galloping Gala."

"Wait, how did you know her again?" I asked Mrs. Shimmer.

"I was her personal student." She told me with a wave of her hand. "Anyway, I got the ticket a few weeks ago when somepony named Flash came-"

"Hold on, you were her personal student?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know, it sounds like a big deal but it's not a huge thing. I'm still a normal mare, besides I wasn't that good of a student anyway."

"No, I-I'm just surprised. You see, I'm her student too."

"Oh! Really? Tell me, does she still do that thing where she tries to hide cupcakes in a mini fridge under her throne?"

"She does that?"

"Oh yeah, that thing has more enchantments on it than her throne does." She told me in a hushed whisper as if she possibly revealed one of the most well-kept secret in all of Canterlot.

"How long ago were you student?" Bizarro asked.

"Hmmm. I'd say it's been about thirty years since then. Time sure does fly, huh? Anyway, that's enough about this spring chicken, what do you do, Bizarro?"

"Oh, uh... Well, Bizarro was assistant to Trick."

"Really? Huh, I'm surprised she took up an assistant. What's that been like?" Mrs. Shimmer asked.

Bizarro and Mrs. Shimmer talked about Bizarro's magic performances with Trixie, all whopping one and a half of them, and the practice that they put into it on their way to Canterlot while they were walking through the Everfree Forest. Mrs. Shimmer seemed surprised that Blueblood sent Trixie and Bizarro to the dungeons, stating that Blueblood was a nice foal when he was born and that she was disappointed to hear what he grew up to become.

We arrived at the Ponyville hospital soon after that and used the lift to take us to Trixie's floor. After her outburst earlier that day, she was moved to a more secure room that had aluminum lined walls to prevent patients from teleporting out of their rooms. As the lift slowly crept up to Trixie's floor I felt a noticeable change in the atmosphere as the temperature almost immediately dropped by several degrees.

"Boy, this is cold. Somebody should fix the thermostat, huh?" Mrs. Shimmer rhetorically asked with a playful smile as we came to a full stop on Trixie's floor.

"Why am it so cold? Bizarro am not like it." Bizarro said as he rubbed his hands together.

"I think Mrs. Shimmer had a point about the thermostat. I'll go talk to the front desk." I offered.

"Oh, why don't you take Bizarro with you, Twilight. I need some alone time with Trixie anyway." Mrs. Shimmer stated. There was an odd sense of firmness in her voice as she spoke which I brushed off without much concern as Bizarro and I returned to the lift to report the heating problem.

While I tried to shake off the chills I got from Trixie's floor, I noticed Bizarro staring intently at the ceiling of the lift, as if he was trying to burn a hole through it with his gaze alone.

"Is everything okay, Bizarro?" I asked him. Bizarro shook himself out of whatever state he was in before he looked down at me.

"Bizarro hope so." He replied almost emotionlessly as we reached the main floor. I wasn't entirely sure what was bothering Bizarro, though I believed it had to do with Mrs. Shimmer's safety.

I wanted to believe that Trixie wouldn't do anything to harm her Great Aunt, and I had reassured myself that the nurse in her room could help if anything happened. Which it wouldn't! Nothing bad would happen, everything would get better and that would be the end of that... Right?

BIZARRO POV

I found myself in a familiar position, sitting in the same chair I sat in during Trixie's first night at the hospital. Nothing aside from the lighting and magazines in the lobby changed since that night.

A few familiar faces also filled the room this time, the mailmare, Derpy, sat a few chairs away from me with a magazine a foot away from her face as she tried to test her own eyesight. She was a grey pegasus with blonde hair and two golden eyes that looked in completely opposite directions, and she was wearing a brown mailmare uniform with her Cutie mark, three bubbles, displayed prominently on her hat and her satchel. I had, quiet literally, bumped into her a few times in the past when I was trying to practice keeping myself upright in the sky, and she was able to give me a few useful pointers like not focusing on your feet when you're in the air. She was a little clumsy but was overall an amazing worker.

Then there was Carrot Top, a yellow earth pony mare with orange hair that had streaks of green dye running through it. She was sitting near the front desk in her tan overalls and plaid shirt reading one of the newspapers that had a grainy photo of Jack Kreiger's ship on the front page. I averted my eyes and inwardly cringed when I remembered how stupid it was to summon him in the middle of town like that.

If I had taken two more seconds to think, I would have probably thought about taking his Token over to that abandoned castle in the Everfree and summoning him there. But no, I had to summon Jack without even thinking of the repercussions. What if he was a psychopath that ate babies or something, thankfully he wasn't but that didn't change anything. I had nothing to go off of but a minor description about his personality, if he had been a Displaced Cuthulu or something then the entire town would have been destroyed, all because I was too fucking stupid.

Aside from those two, the names of the few other faces that filled the seats of the lobby escaped me. As I tried to match a few names to their faces I noticed that there was a unicorn mare I hadn't seen before who was reading a magazine with a picture of teeth on it. As I tried to remember every unicorn I bumped into in Ponyville, I realized just how few unicorns I actually knew or met.

Aside from Trixie, Twilight, Rarity, Lyra, and Sweetie Belle, I didn't know of any other unicorns who lived in Ponyville. I didn't know if it was a race or species thing, but it seemed pretty odd to me that there weren't many unicorns in comparison to earth ponies and pegasi. I decided that I'd ask Trixie about it later and see why that was, if anypony would know the answer it would have had to be a unicorn.

I threw a quick glance at the clock that hung over the receptionist desk of the lobby, it had been a few minutes since Twilight and I came downstairs to wait for Sunset Shimmer to finish talking to Trixie. They'd probably be up there for a while since they hadn't seen each other in so long, not to mention Sunset would probably want to take her time to make sure Trixie was okay.

It was odd for me to think that Trixie and Sunset Shimmer were related in this world since they never interacted in the movies or the short episodes of Equestria Girls. I ended up chalking it up to another weird inconsistency between this world and the show, like them having tails or Twilight not having wings. I could have sworn that she had wings in the first Equestria girls movie, in fact, I was almost certain that she had wings like Princess Celestia and Princess Candy. But for whatever reason, Twilight didn't have them here. I felt like asking her about it, but I knew that'd cause her to raise a few questions of her own. The last thing I wanted to do was tell her, or anypony for that matter, that I had seen an alternate reality version of their world in a children's cartoon.

I idly wondered if every Displaced had to go through this, keeping the secret about their world being based off of a cartoon. Or maybe it's the other way around? I didn't really know, all I knew was that multiverse theory was a painful headache inducing bitch.

As I thought about what to reveal and what I had to keep a secret from my friends, I thought about my real life on earth. Back then, before I was a living wall of ugly muscle, I was a normal guy just trying to juggle school, a part-time job, and family. I never really intended to keep my actual human life a secret, it just... Kinda happened. With my Bizarro speak and my inability to say my own name, I never really got it across that I wasn't always Bizarro, and I wondered if I needed to tell them the truth. How would they react to me telling them that? Shocked? Hurt? Confused?

Well, yeah, they'd definitely be confused since I know I am.

I shook my head as I glanced back at the clock above the desk, another minute had passed at a painfully slow pace.

How would I even start that conversation? "Oh hey guys, me Bizarro, me lie to you when me say me Bizarro because me actually Bizarro." Yeah, that'd work out perfectly. I inwardly chastised before I closed my eyes and listened to the noise around me. I didn't pay much attention to what anypony said, only taking in their words as audible junk food for my brain to distract me from my thoughts.

I noticed that one part of the hospital was eerily silent, Trixie's room. There was no noise coming from her floor, as if it were just a nonexistent void in space. Her room had been deathly silent as soon as Twilight and I went down the lift. I was worried, but I understood that it was probably a silencing spell or something like that for privacy. Trixie had told me about spells that muffled sound or made it disappear entirely, allowing her to use a bit of clever misdirection in her performances.

It made me feel uneasy though, just listening to a void of space, almost like staring into the concept of nothingness itself. I was almost enraptured by the lack of sound, focusing intently on the disturbingly eerie silence that could have been shattered at any given moment. I was so focused on the magical void of space that I barely registered Twilight taking a seat next to me.

"Well, I told the staff about the heating problem. They've known about it for a while but can't figure out what's causing it." Twilight explained. I simply nodded as I kept my gaze locked on the tv in the corner and my ears pointed towards Trixie's floor.

"Bizarro... Are you doing alright?" Twilight asked. For the first time in a while, I actually answered truthfully.

No, I'm worried about Trixie. I don't know what's going to happen and I'm... I'm just worried.

"Yes, me am have faith for Trick. Me know everything will be okay." I told Twilight aloud. For once, I actually thanked myself for having Bizarro speak.

Twilight placed her hand atop mine as she stared intently into my eyes. "You're right Bizarro, I'm sure everything will be okay."

I took a moment to let her words sink in, trying to convince myself that what she said was an undeniable fact. I wanted to believe everything was okay, and for a brief moment, I genuinely believed that. It was a moment that lasted less than a portion of a second before the silencing spell on Trixie's room vanished with a thunderous pop that only I could hear. I waited for a few tense moments as I heard Sunset wheeling herself to the lift and called it up. My sudden change in demeanor didn't go unnoticed by Twilight as she looked at the lift slowly start to move up to Trixie's floor.

"I guess Sunset and Trixie are finished talking. See Bizarro, I knew everything would be okay." Twilight told me confidently. I didn't respond as I waited for Sunset Shimmer to wheel onto the lift and come down. I felt uneasy listening to the gears and cogs turn inside the shaft, screaming metal rubbing against screeching metal.

Seconds ticked by as the lift slowly descended to the ground flood and, for almost a millisecond, I could have sworn I saw the ghost of a scowl wash away from Sunset's face as her body came into view. As the lift finally made its way down to the main floor, I stepped forward to open the gate for Sunset Shimmer.

"Thank you, Bizarro." She told me as she wheeled herself out of the lift in a hurry. Whatever was causing the heating problem on Trixie's floor apparently found a way to the lift shaft, because the metal cage of the lift felt almost bone chilling.

"So, how is Trixie doing, Mrs. Shimmer?" Twilight asked the elderly Sunset.

"She's alright, but... We don't think Ponyville is the best place for her to be right now considering... Everything. So, Trixie and I are going back to Fillydelphia."

"Trick am leaving?" I asked in shock.

"Yes, we’re going back to Fillydelphia on the next train out of town.”

“But-but that’s an hour from now. Mrs. Shimmer, are you sure it's wise to move Trixie while she's..." Twilight let her sentence drift off as she tried to find a word for Trixie's current health.

"Yes. Believe me, she was adamant about going home to Fillydelphia. Don't worry, there are great doctors and support groups up there that'll take care of my little girl." Sunset Shimmer reaffirmed.

“Um… Am… Bizarro am… Am it okay if Bizarro come too?” I asked Sunset Shimmer. I didn’t want to leave Trixie alone after everything that happened. It was all my fault anyway, and I needed to make it up to her somehow.

Unfortunately, Sunset Shimmer mealy shook her head at my question. “Sorry, Bizarro, but Trixie needs to be with family, and she thinks that you should stay here. You understand, don’t you?” She asked, causing my heart to sink in my chest as I swallowed nervously.

Did... Did she not want me as a friend anymore? Did I do something wrong? Why? What did I do? Was it because of the Bacta? Was it because I gave her untested medication? Did I hurt her when I stopped her episode earlier? I questioned internally as I tried to search for a reason.

"Oh… Am… Am it okay if me v-visit?” I asked nervously.

“Sure, hun. I’m sure Trixie will write you a letter when she wants to meet up, just wait until then alright?” Mrs. Shimmer reassured me. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to go back up and help Trixie pack. Would you two mind meeting us at the train station?"

"Wait, you're leaving already?" Twilight asked her.

"Well the next train to Fillydelphia is only an hour or so from now, and I want to take Trixie home as soon as possible." Sunset Shimmer explained.

I wanted to argue, tell her that she could stay the night and leave with Trixie tomorrow. At least that way I'd be able to spend some time with her. But no matter how much I wanted to argue, how much I wanted to actually beg, nothing came out of my mouth. I could only open and close it like a goldfish as Twilight tried to make the argument for me. Unfortunately, Sunset Shimmer was adamant about leaving as soon as possible since it was what Trixie wanted, it was what she needed.

Trixie needed time alone, time away from me, and maybe that was for the best.

After Sunset Shimmer made it abundantly clear that Trixie wanted to go home to see her family again, she got back on the lift to get Trixie ready for the next train out of Ponyvile. After she was gone from sight, Twilight and I went our separate ways before we'd meet back up at the train station. Twilight wanted to get as many of our friends together to say a proper goodbye and I... I just needed to get through the hour and keep myself in check.

It was the absolute longest hour of my life.

TRIXIE POV

The hour had flown by far too quickly for me, as if the time had simply vanished from when my Great Aunt, Sunset Shimmer, entered my room.

I stood next to my Greaty Sunset on the wooden platform of the Ponyville train station as we waited for the next train out of Ponyville to arrive. Bizarro, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Twilight were the only ones able to see us off since the other Elements of Harmony were busy at their respective jobs.

The Elements. He'd get to stay with the elements. They'd take care of Bizarro, and... And they'd become the best of friends.

I fought back any tears that threatened to spill through my eyes as I steeled my resolve to not cry. It wasn't right for a mare to cry in front of a stallion, even if I really wanted to.

With all of my clothes and props lost in the forest, I didn't expect to have anything to take back with me to Fillydelphia. But to my surprise, Rarity was adamant to give me a few new sets of clothing, free of charge, and even offered me a fair amount of beauty supplies and mane care products. I was genuinely surprised by the number of things she had given me, even if she was the Element of Generosity, it felt as though it was too much.

I was thankfully able to politely decline a few things. I never realized that Rarity had treasured our friendship that much, and it made me feel uneasy that I was leaving without giving her anything in return.

Bizarro and Applejack also packed a few apples for me to eat on the train, and Bizarro even offered me a few Bits in case I wanted to buy something. I once again declined his offer since I didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity, and I thanked him for being so thoughtful.

Bizarro and Twilight told me that their other friends all wished me well, and that if I was ever in town that I'd stop by for a bit to catch up.

We waited in relative silence that went unbroken for a few minutes after we all initially greeted each other at the train station. Minutes ticked by as Pinkie Pie kept trying to ignite a conversation about anything, but each time I tried to answer I felt a furious coughing fit take over followed by a sudden chill that would sweep over me. Twilight and Bizarro were concerned about sending me off, but my Greaty had reassured them that it was just a cold from that damn drafty room at the hospital.

Though, I wouldn’t have minded using my cold as an excuse to stay in Ponyville for another day or two. It had struck me as odd that Bizarro didn't want to accompany me to Fillydellphia, I thought it would have been nice to introduce him to my family there. I was certain my dad would have liked him.

I couldn't blame him though, Bizarro was probably happier in Ponyville, for all I knew it could have reminded him of Pencilville. I reminisced about his stories of his home, his family, his life, and everything from the mundane to the unbelievable, stories that completely enraptured me. I held those memories close to me, a warm feeling building up in my chest as I remembered how much I liked being near him.

And now he wants nothing to do with you. You should just man up and accept that. A fait whisper at the back of my mind concluded. My berating conscious had started to become more aggressive since I woke up in the hospital, each word became a knife that pierced my heart and broke me down. But my conscious was right, I didn’t deserve to be in Ponyville. I just needed to mare up and accept that.

As I glanced up, I saw the bright pink caboose of the Friendship Express chugging towards the train station. A puff of steam flew from the steam whistle as it came closer, allowing the few passengers onboard to know that the train would be stopping at Ponyville soon.

“Looks like it’s almost here.” My Greaty Sunset said as she turned to say her farewells to everyone who came to say goodbye.

As I was being strangled by a death grip hug from Pinkie Pie, the Friendship Express slowly rolled to a stop at the station, letting out a whistle to let the few passengers on board to get off.

After Pinkie Pie and I finished our hug, I went over to Bizarro, debating whether or not it was appropriate for us to share a hug. Thankfully, I didn’t have to ask that question because Bizarro’s arms wrapped around me gently as soon as he was able to. My arms latched around his torso tightly as my face buried itself into his arms, feeling his embrace one last time before my Greaty and I left Ponyville.

“Goodbye, Bizarro.” I said as I smiled up at him. “Thank you for everything. I’ll… I’ll miss you.”

“Me am miss you too, Trick. You am bestest friend.” He told me. A gentle smile touched my lips as I hugged him a little tighter before the sound of the train whistle alerted me to how much time Greaty Sunset and I had.

I tightened the hug for a second longer before I let go of him to give a hug to Twilight and Spike, even though I didn’t get to know the little dragon all that well, I was glad to know that he cared enough to see me off too.

We all said our goodbyes with smiles that failed to reach our eyes. what kind of mare would cry in front of somepony else. I fought back my emotions to keep a strong facade as I continued to wave out the window after boarding the train.

A few seconds later, the train slowly lurched forward, building up momentum as it moved down the tracks, leaving the quaint little town of Ponyville far behind it.

"I wish he came with us." I lamented as I looked back at the town disappearing behind us, rows of houses shrinking to nothingness with each passing second.

"Yeah, but your friend said he needed some time to find himself in Ponyville. I'm sure he'll come visit you from time to time." My Greaty said as she looked at the scenery flying past us. I only nodded silently in response before my Greaty started to cough furiously.

"Are you alright Greaty?" I asked in concern. My Great Aunty looked at shaking hand for a moment before she breathed in and exhaled out slowly.

"Fine dear. Probably just coming down with something." My Greaty reassured me. I felt inclined to see if something was wrong before a cold presence washed over my body. In an instant, those thoughts vanished and were replaced by my next objective, settling back down in Fillypelphia for the foreseeable future. Far away from Bizarro, far far away.

Bizarro doesn't need you, and you should forget about him. Forget, and never remember the truth.

Author's Note

Hello, I do hope that you’re reading this and you didn’t just scroll past this comment. I’m Hotel_Chicken, the guy who wrote the story you just finished. In a way, this is kind of an epilogue, an ending that may never come. First of all, I want to thank you for making it this far, and apologize for not finishing this story. I don’t know if this story will ever be finished, I just know that I won’t be the one to finish it. And I'm sorry for that. I've placed the story up for adoption because I think someone else can carry it on, or maybe they could make it something better than what I laid out. I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen, and I can't say that I don't care. This story itself isn't what I miss. It's you. The people who comment, like, and the people who are happy to read my story. I feel terrible about doing this, terrible for giving you something you enjoyed only to abandon it. It feels like I just waisted your time and your enjoyment, and I'm sorry. Thank you all for reading BAnE, and I'm happy to know that you enjoyed reading it. As of adding this note, I just posted the rest of this story. Every idle thought for a future chapter, plans, ideas, skeletons of thoughts, are there. This isn't a conclusive ending for Bizarro, but it's all we'll have for now. I'm sorry again, and even if you don't think I need to apologize, I still feel obligated to do it. Thank you, thank you for helping me without even knowing it.

Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.

Bizarro and Trixie, Sitting in a Tree... surrounded by predators.

Author's Note

Warning, this chapter contains violence, suggestive nonconsensual sexual elements, and descriptive scenes that may sicken or unnerve some readers. Reader's discretion is advised.

Bizarro and Trixie, Sitting in a Tree... surrounded by predators.

BIZARRO POV

I hate this world. Truly, I hate this Godforsaken cartoon planet. You know what I hate most about it? Magic. God. Damn. Kick me in the balls... Magic. I thought to myself, seething in my own bitterness at my current situation.

While Trixie and I were walking through the Everfree Forest back to Ponyville so we could get another new wagon, we were quickly surrounded by a dozen wolves made of trees in the Everfree. And if that wasn’t enough, apparently evolution decided to take drugs and say, “Hey why don’t we make them indestructible and give them the ability to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers themselves into a Super Timberwolf?” Because fuck normal people who just want to go through the Everfree Forest I guess.

Nothing I was able to do to those bastards worked. Fire breath? Just made deadly flaming Timberwolves. Smashing them? They reformed! Freezing them with Freeze vision? The others would just regroup and headbutt the ice until it broke and freed their friend. I also couldn't fly away with Trixie since she was deathly terrified of heights, something I unfortunately learned on our trip towards Canterlot a while back; my ears were still burning after Trixie screamed her head off.

So, as a result of not being able to actually fight or run away from the Timberwolves, Trixie and I climbed a tree for safety, as we waited for them to just go away.

“Are they still there?” Trixie asked.

“Eeeyup.” I responded with Big Mac’s favorite word, not even bothering to look down as I could still hear the Timberwolves circling the base of the tree. Trixie and I were sitting on two different branches. While Trixie was hugging hers like it was her long-lost daughter, I just sat on my tree branch with my back laying against the trunk of the tree.

“We’re going to be here all night, aren’t we?” Trixie asked. I simply shrugged as I decided to just go with the flow. It was clear this planet had something against me. This wasn’t Murphy or Karma at work, this was something that just got its shits and giggles at my expense. Take for example when I arrived here.

A while before I was sent to Equestria, the Everfree forest used to be a small contained area between Ponyville and some place called Appleloosa. But then, somepony named Nightmare Moon came and tried to make eternal night or something, which apparently caused the Everfree Forest to grow around all of Ponyville because of the chaos. I didn’t know what the hell “chaos” had to do with spontaneous tree growth but knowing this place the answer probably boiled down to "It's Magic." Thus, I had yet another reason to hate magic.

“Bizarro, are you sure there’s nothing you can do?” Trixie pleaded.

“Bizarro am no good against bad guy that can re-build. Not even Lightsaber would do good.” I told her.

“What?”

“Am nothing.” I dismissed. A long silence overtook us, only interrupted by the occasionally Timberwolf bark. I took the time to think about my old life back on Earth and how I'd probably never be able to go back.

I'd never see my friends, my family, my sister... I'd never be able to see her start Highschool, I wouldn't be able to tease her for getting braces, I wouldn't be able to congratulate her on all her accomplishments, I couldn't tease her, I couldn't encourage her... I couldn't do anything for her anymore. I had this whole cheesy speech prepared for her too when she started High-school about how the future was uncertain but was still worth living for, and how she'd make so many enemies but still make two friends for every one bully.

I managed to fight back the tears that welled behind my eyes as I tried to focus on something else. The silence between Trixie and I lasted for a while longer until I decided to finally break it.

“… So… What am Trick do after Ponyville?” I asked.

Trixie slowly repositioned herself on her tree branch so she could sit against the tree and be in a more comfortable position.

“Well, Trixie was planning on going to Las Pegasus like she originally wanted, and then go to Applewood after that. Then Trixie would play it by ear. Equestria is a big place with a large distance between cities and towns, once Trixie reaches Applewood, Trixie will be right at the west coast. Her options would be to take a boat, which she couldn’t with her wagon, go through the San Palomino Desert and try to find Saddle Arabia, or turn back around towards the nearest town.”

“Which am?”

“*Sigh* Ponyville… again.” She said dejectedly. Jesus, is that the center of Equestria or something?

“….Trick? Am ok if Bizarro am come along?” I asked.

Trixie looked at me with surprise evident on her face. “Really? You’d come with Trixie to Las Pegasus and Applewood? She thought you would stay in Ponyville.”

“Why Trick think that?”

“Because… Because you’re basically BFF’s with the Elements of Harmony there! And Trixie is just… me.” She said, as averted her eyes from me.

“Bizarro am have no idea who Elements of Honey am, but Trick am Bizarro’s friend. Me go with Trick if you want.” I told her which made her smile at me.

"Thank you, Bizarro. That means a lot to me."

"You am welcome." I replied. Another silence fell upon us for a while as I struggled not to think of Earth. Instead, I decided to focus on this world, mainly the Darth Vader of this world and what he had said. I was curious about Darth Vader’s words about the Elements, and his claims to being a good guy, so I decided it was about time I asked Trixie some questions. Both in the hope of distracting me from memories of Earth and to inform me on what I needed to know about the dead Sith Lord.

“Hey Trick? What am Element of Honey?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Harmony, Bizarro. They’re the wielders of the six Elements that represent Harmony itself. Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Magic. They’re Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight respectively.” Trixie told me.

My eyes actually widened at that news. “They am Elements?”

“Yes, Trixie was surprised too. After Trixie discovered Twilight was the personal student of Princess Celestia, Trixie decided to ask some questions so she wouldn’t be surprised by some other outlandish news that would come out of nowhere. Trixie must admit that she was surprised that Newspapers barely covered the Elements.”

“Huh. Am weird. So they am super heroes?”

“Kinda, I guess.” She shrugged.

Another silence fell over us as we waited for the Timberwolves to leave.

“What about Darth Vader?” I finally asked. Trixie raised an eyebrow in response.

“Who?”

“Sith Lord. Me hear he teach Elements once. But me no know what Elements were at time.”

“Hmmmm… Trixie has never heard of anypony named Darth Vader. Odd name for a stallion, it almost sounds sinister.” She responded.

So, this was either just another fact Trixie didn’t know or… I didn’t even know anymore. None of it added up. If he was like me then maybe he bought something from that guy at Wizard World too. But did he decide to be a good guy or become evil? When I connected the dots that he married Nightmare Moon, who was apparently evil, I thought maybe he was a bad guy like the real Darth Vader. But then why would he say he taught the Elements? And why would he say he wouldn’t hurt anyone pure of heart? They could have been lies but something felt wrong with that train of thought. Why leave your spare Lightsaber in the middle of the woods for any random shmuck to find if you’re an evil emperor, and then lie about being evil? It didn't make any sense. In hindsight, I should have really asked Princess Celestia about Darth Vader. If he really was Spike and Twilight's teacher then she had to know about him. She might have even known what killed him...

Two questions kept coming to the forefront of my mind. What killed him, and what was the point of writing the word “Deleted” on his helmet? I didn’t even bother to wonder how I read that word when I’ve been turned into an illiterate version of Superman. For some reason I thought that that word was the reason why he died. It had a… power to it. Like that one word alone explained all of the horror I saw when Darth Vader’s body fell out of that portal. Almost as if it was a warning to others.

The whole situation filled me with a sense of foreboding and dread that I never felt before. Like my life could just end at any moment, and I'd be completely powerless to prevent it. What could I do against something that killed Darth Vader?

"Bizarro, are you ok?" Trixie asked, breaking my train of thought.

"Hm? Me am good. How am you?"

"Trixie is alright. She was just a little worried about you. You looked... lost."

".... Bizarro am in deep think. Many thoughts on brain."

"Like what?" She asked.

I looked at her for a moment before I turned my attention to the sky and stared at the clouds above us. "Bizarro am... worried. Me afraid others am here."

"Others? Like somepony else is in the forest?"

"No. Well, maybe. Bizarro am mean other aliens." I explained to her.

"O-oh! You mean your family?"

"No. Bad aliens. Evil bad guys who am stronger than Bizarro. Me am worried they come." I told her as I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged my legs. Bizarro might be strong, but I was certain that someone out their had a spell or something that could kill me in an instant, as if I were less than a fly.

"Well.... Trixie can see how that can be worrying, but you're a really strong Stallion. And if you need Trixie's help, she will be by your side in a heartbeat." She said. A small sad smile spread across my lips at Trixie's statement. Granted, she couldn't do anything against someone as powerful as Darth Vader in a fight, but knowing that she was so willing to help despite not knowing what the dangers were was... heartwarming.

"Thank Trick. You am good friend."

"Of course I am. The Great and Friendly Trixie is a spectacular friend!" Trixie boasted, causing me to laugh at her eccentric personality.

TRIXIE POV

I was glad that I was able to make Bizarro laugh for once during our trip. Even before we got to Canterlot, Bizarro had been acting differently, he seemed to just disappear into his thoughts at random moments, completely shutting the outside world out of his mind. It was beginning to worry me slightly, and I wanted to ask him what else was wrong, but I knew he'd come talk to me when he was ready. Although, that didn't stop me from both worrying and wondering about what weighed so heavily on his mind.

Before we got to Canterlot I had just assumed that his change in behavior was simply nervousness brought on by the idea possibility of meeting the princesses. But if that were the case then he wouldn't keep acting so distant afterwards. Then again, it might have started off as nervousness but turned into despair after Princess Celestia informed Bizarro that she couldn't send him back home.

Another theory I had was that he was thinking of his little sister, Lilly Luthor if I recalled correctly. After coming to terms with the fact that Bizarro was a clone of an alien, it made me wonder if his sister was a clone of an alien too. If Bizarro was a failed clone of Superman, maybe Lilly was also a failed clone that came out as a Mare instead of a Stallion. If that was the case then maybe Bizarro was worried about what his cloned sister was doing and how she was faring without him. What if she was dealing with dangerous aliens or something, making the world a better place by saving Stallions and working hard? Then again, Bizarro did say his sister's Cutie mark was related to Minotaurian art. Maybe she was an alien artist, flying to different planets delivering art and making beautiful paintings. At least, I hopped that was what she was doing.

From how Bizarro phrased it, it sounded like he was saying that there were more than just kryptonians and ponies out there in space. It would be likely that at least one of those species out there wouldn't be too friendly. And if Bizarro was worried about them, then I think everypony should be too.

I shuddered at the idea of some alien that could pose a threat to Bizarro. He's so strong and powerful, if something could hurt him, then it could easily squash ponies and every other creature on Equis too. I doubted that a dragon could even take on the unknown horrors of space.

"Hey Trick, you am hear that?" Bizarro asked, knocking me out of my stupor in the process.

"Hear what?"

"Nothing. Me no hear wood doggies." He told me. I carefully glanced down from my tree branch and realized that all the Timberwolves had left.

"Do you think it's safe to go down?" I asked. Bizarro stayed quiet for a moment before nodding.

"Me am hear wood doggies going away. Me think something scare them. And if something am scare them, we am need to go now." Bizarro warned me. As I was trying to think of the safest way down, Bizarro flew over to me and picked me up Husband style so he could carry me down to the ground. Once his feet were firmly planted back on the planet I quickly got out of his arms and dusted myself off, hoping I could hide the blush on my face.

"Thank you, Bizarro."

"No problem. You am need help with bags?" Bizarro asked. I shook my head and told him I would be alright. After all, I could use levitation magic on the bags. I was reluctant to use magic around Bizarro for a while after I found out about his condition, but he explained that as long as the magic wasn't used directly on him he should have been fine if I just used it on our bags.

As we were walking, I quickly pulled out my compass to make sure we were still heading south towards Ponyville. We had already been walking, problem free, for the better part of a week and would reach Ponyville in another week or so if we continued our pace with no further complications. I was a little bit worried about our food situation though. In hindsight I should have asked Princess Celestia if she'd be willing to give us food or tools to use.

"Hey Trick, how am we buy new wagon?" Bizarro asked me as we were walking.

"Well, Trixie will perfooooorm..." I began, but trailed off as a sudden sense of realization hit me. "Oh right... We don't have our props. And, since everypony in Ponyville knows you can fly we can't really do those tricks... I guess we'll need to find some temporary work for a bit."

"Hmmm... Maybe me am work at Applejack's. She am offer job to Bizarro when me first get to Ponyville." Bizarro suggested.

"That's good. In the meantime Trixie will try to find some suitable work there as well. She would go attend some Foal's parties to make Bits, but she doesn't have any props. If Trixie remembers correctly they were hiring at Quills and Sofas."

"That am store?" Bizarro asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Apparently. Trixie thinks somepony named Flat Rate owned it, unfortunate name for a mare in all honestly. It shouldn't be too hard for Trixie to do, all she has to do is sell quills and sofas." I reasoned.

"It am still weird. Why am whole store de... deady... Why am store only sell that?"

I shrugged in response to Bizarro's question, having no real answer as to why a store would only sell sofas and quills. Honestly, I would be surprised if it didn't go out of business by the time Bizarro and I got back to Ponyville.

As we continued walking through the Everfree Forest, Princess Luna's moon rose high in the sky signaling to Bizarro and I that we needed to set up camp for the night. We were able to find a nice small clearing where we could set up a campfire to heat up what was left of our food.

Like every night prior, Bizarro would use his fire breath to make the fire while I would lay out some of our dirtier clothes to make makeshift mats to lie on for the night. Bizarro was kind enough to let me use his cape as a blanket to keep me warm, which made me feel... amazing~.

I tried to convince him to use it for himself, but he would just insist that I should take it. He's was just so nice, thoughtful, charming... sexy.

I blushed furiously as my thoughts trailed into more... lewd areas.

"hmmm. We am not have much left." Bizarro pointed out as he pulled out the last of our food.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry Bizarro. I should have asked the Princess if she'd be willing to give us some extra food. We wouldn't 't even be in this stupid mess if I wasn't afraid of flying." I berated myself. Bizarro placed a firm hand on my shoulder as he looked me in the eyes.

"It am fine Trick. Me like woods anyway. Even though we need fight wooden dogies, Bizarro am have fun. Plus, Bizarro am understand fear. Truth is, Bizarro were afraid of flying too." He told me.

"Wait, you were afraid of flying? But you can fly." I pointed out. Bizarro lightly chuckled to himself as he looked at his other hand.

"Bizarro am not always know how fly. Me am not always so strong either. When Bizarro were young, me scared of flying. But, me get over it now. If you am scared, Bizarro no am force you." He reassured me with a genuine smile as he looked at me straight in the eye.

"Thank you, Bizarro." I said as I stared back into his bright blue eyes. It was so odd, his eyes seemed so cold and distant, but also held a reassuring warmth in them that made a silent promise to never lie.

As I stared into Bizarro's eyes he soon took his hand off of my shoulder and looked off towards the area we came from, unfortunately breaking eye contact with me as he stared off into the woods.

"Bizarro saw river near trail earlier. Me am go and catch fish for dinner." He said before he walked off into the forest. It felt nice to have a Stallion like Bizarro around. He made me feel safe, even in the most dangerous woods on the planet.

I was left alone with my own thoughts and a roaring campfire as I eagerly waited for Bizarro to return. In truth, it felt somewhat emaresculating to have a stallion do all of the heavy lifting, after all, I was the mare here. If anypony should be going out into the woods and looking for food it should have been me.

And yet, I didn't follow Bizarro into the forest, I didn't try to help him, I didn't even try to argue with him. I just sat there and accepted what he said while he doted on me, as if I were a stallion.

I was truly worthless. No, if anything, I was worse than worthless, I was a burden. If I wasn't afraid of flying than Bizarro could have just flown us back to Ponyville in less than a few hours. But nooooo, I just had to be a little brotherly and make us walk through this Luna forsaken forest.

As I breathed myself for not being a more marely mare, Bizarro came back to the campsite about ten or so minutes later. To my surprise, Bizarro didn't have anything in his hands as he made his way out of the thick foliage.

"Bizarro, did you not get anything to eat?" I asked him. A large smile made its way onto his face as he approached me.

"Bizarro, are you ok?" I asked him. Suddenly Bizarro was kneeling down in front of me on my sleeping mat with a hungry look in his eyes and a predatory smile.

"Hey~." He said sensually in a deep husky voice before he leaned in closer to me.

"B-Bizarro? W-w-what are you doing?" I stuttered out.

"Isn't it obvious?" He asked with a seductive smile that made my heart skip a beat.

"I-I-I." I kept stuttering before Bizarro held up a finger to my lips.

"Shhhh. No need to talk. Let's make this special, Trixie~." He told me as he leaned in even closer. Soon, he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips firmly against mine.

It felt absolutely intoxicating~.

BIZARRO POV

Gathering fish for dinner was an amazingly simple task, mainly because of a nice purple sea serpent named Steven who had a luxurious orange mustache, which I was honestly somewhat jealous of.

I'll also admit that his sudden appearance startled me for a second, causing me to leap a few yards into the air in surprise. Although once he started talking I was quickly calmed down by his charming personality and fun sense of humor. He thought it was absolutely hilarious that somepony was scared of him, since he was pretty much this world's equivalent of the cowardly lion.

Steven was pretty happy to scare someone by accident and it boosted his confidence a bit, so he wasn't offended by my reaction to him. He also thought that my stone medallion was cute, calling is a "Silly little trinket".

As a sign of good will, and as a weird thank you for being startled and making him laugh, he offered to help me catch fish from the river so long as I made a campfire for him to cook his share on. I naturally agreed and got to work using some sticks and my fire breath, something that had been much more convenient than I ever thought it would have been. Seriously, Superman didn't get nearly as much milage out of his ice breath as I did my fire breath.

After that, Steven handed me a decent amount of fish for Trixie and myself, and I made my way back to our campsite. I had been out for quiet a while, so I gathered some fallen branches for fire wood, since I thought that the fire at our campsite would be nearly dying when I got back.

As I was out gathering some extra wood for the fire however, I heard Trixie call out my name back from the camp site.

"Bizzaro!" She screamed in a panicked voice.

"TRICK!?" I shouted out in alarm.

I immediately dropped all of the fish and wood that I had collected and quickly rushed over to our camp site. When I got there in a few seconds Trixie was no where to be seen.

"TRICK!? WHERE AM YOU!?" I shouted to the empty camp site. To my great relief, Trixie suddenly emerged from behind a line of nearby trees.

"Oh, why are you screaming Bizarro?" Trixie asked. I didn't answer her as I decided to quickly rush over and grab her arms.

"Trick? You am safe? M-Me hear Trick scream and—” Trixie suddenly cut me off as she placed a finger on my lips.

"Oh, that? I just stubbed my toes on a rock. I'm fine~." She reassured me as she held me in a hug. I accepted her embrace and hugged her back tightly, letting my hear rate slowly return to it's normal pace as I held my friend.

"Bizarro were so worried. Me am glad Trick ok." I said. I didn't know what I would do if someone hurt her, she was my best friend in this crazy magical world.

"I'm fine Bizarro. Even better than fine in fact~." She giggled before she stood on her tippy toes and pressed her lips desperately against mine, I was absolutely shocked by Trixie's sudden show of affection. I couldn't do anything except stare at her with wide eyes as I heard our hearts race and... wait...

I quickly broke off the kiss, grabbing the blue mare's arm tightly and glaring daggers into her eyes in the process.

"Uh, Bizarro, what are you doing? Oh! Do you want to move this over to the campfire so—” She started to say, but I cut her off as my grip on her arms tightened.

"Where am Trick." I demanded the imposter who suddenly went wide eyed at my accusation.

"W-what are you talking about, I'm Trick." She told me.

"Then why am you have two hearts." I rhetorically asked as I leaned forward and glared at the fake version of Trixie. She seemed startled for a moment before a wicked grin split across her face as she looked at me menacingly.

"Oh, I'm going to have fun with you." She said with a coy smile, before a green glow surrounded her horn and teleported her away. I looked around for wherever the imposter went when I suddenly heard a bone chilling melody seemingly come from every direction at once.

"One, two, I'll be cumming for you~." I heard my predatory and apparently sex craved adversary sing.

"Show self! Where am real Trick!?" I shouted to the wind.

"Three, four, I'll make you use my back door. Five, six, our fluids will mix." The stranger playfully sung.

"Seven, eight, we'll stay up late. Nine, ten, I'll make us a breeding den.~" The predator finished in a whisper, as if she was directly over my shoulder. I instantly flew above the tree line hoping to see my mysterious imposter from above and get the drop on her.

As my eyes scanned the area I felt a sickening sensation all over my body that forcibly pulled me back down to the ground. I hit the ground fairly hard on impact, creating a decent sized dent in the earth beneath me. As I slowly got to my knees, I began to feel a similar sensation throw me against a tree as the vines from said tree were coated in a sickly green glow and quickly tied themselves around my hands and ankles. I knew that magic was at play, but for some reason it didn't feel as painful, I didn't pay it too much attention and chalked it up to the adrenaline that was pumping through my veins.

" 'Kiss me like you mean goodbye,' said the spider to the fly.~" My mysterious attacker said as she emerged from behind a nearby tree.

The imposter that looked like Trixie was quickly engulfed in a green flame that started at the soles of her feet and slowly crawled to the tip of her horn. Once she was fully enveloped in green fire, the shimmering flames subsided and revealed a terrifying sight. The best way I could describe the woman's new appearance was a mix of female human and Xenomorph.

The woman had black chitin armor that covered most of her body, aside from her joints, her lips, and oddly enough her chest and stomach. Her exposed joints were made of some off colored green flesh like substance that looked like exposed muscles with a thin invisible membrane covering it, but not hiding it. Her forearms and legs were decorated in a series of healed stab wounds, burns, and visible dents in her natural armor, some of the wounds created holes that tore through her limbs, but that didn't seem to impede her movements in any way. On her back were two translucent blue bug like wings that occasionally buzzed as she seductively walked towards me, her hips swinging like a model on a cat walk.

I barely noticed however as I was focused on her face, mainly her large cold blue bulbous eyes. Even though I couldn't see her irises, I could feel her gaze travel across my body as she bit her lower lip. As she came closer I also noticed that she was much taller than anypony I saw before, sans the princess. Unlike most mares or ponies in general, this... creature came up to my nose and her curved horn came up to my eyes.

She slowly pressed her body against mine as I struggled to break free of her magic.

"Oh, keep struggling. Mama likes a stallion with some fight~." She said in a much different voice than Trixie's.

"Where am Trick!" I shouted in her face, which caused her to recoil slightly from my near deafening shout.

"Owww. D-Don't worry, she's got someling to keep her company. Meanwhile, I get you all. to. my. self." She said, her fingers walking up my chest with each word. When she implied that something else was doing... THIS to Trixie, I snapped and used whatever strength I had to break her hold on me and grab her horn.

"WHERE AM SHE!?" I shouted at the weird creature in my hand.

"Oh, yes, pull my horn harder!" She creepily moaned. My lust for blood was quickly forgotten by her disgusting lust for... well, lust, causing my grip on her horn to loosen. Unfortunately, that was all she needed to prepare a spell and fire it right at my face, sending me into another tree before I hit the ground.

"Come on hun, we could be really good friends. The ones that are really beneficial." She teased.

"Bizarro be bug's worst friend!" I shouted as I flew at her and tackled her to the ground, somehow turning on the creature with my display of force, much to my chagrin.

"Oh yeah, talk dirty to me!" She screamed in pleasure, once again distracting me, allowing her to take the advantage as she blasted me with another magical beam, blasting me off of her and sending me several yards away.

"You hit hard for a stallion. I like that." The menace teased me. "After we're done breeding maybe we can—” I didn't listen to her finish as I flew back towards the campsite. Our battle had taken us a few dozen yards or so away and I needed to find Trixie and get out of here.

As I was flying back towards our camping spot I felt an all too familiar feeling encase my body and smash me against the ground. Another creature like the one I was just fighting walked towards me with their horn glowing a sickly green color. This creature was nearly identical to the one I was just fighting, except that it was a bit shorter and had larger wings.

"Really Elytra, you were having trouble with a stallion?" The newcomer asked as I heard my other rival fly towards us.

"I was just having fun, Discal. So, you're done with the mare?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, stuffed in a cocoon and ready to go back to the hive. She'll make a good egg capsule." The newcomer said with a sadistic snicker. My rage overtook me as I spat a torrent of flaming breath at the new arrival, allowing me to escape her telekinesis. I flew over to the one that held me down as the fire slowly dissipated from her body and grabbed her horn in my hand.

"WHERE AM TRCIK!" I shouted in pure unbridled rage. I was so furious that I didn't even register the loud cracking sound that rung out in the air as my grip around her horn tightened even more. Unlike the one I was fighting earlier, the creature in front of me didn't scream out in some type of twisted and sadistic pleasure, she screamed in pure agony.

The screams of her friend seemed to motivate the one called Elytra to act fast as she blasted me with another concussive blast of magic in my back that sent me spiraling to the ground. As I caught myself with one foot planted firmly in the ground I heard a sickening crunch and the feeling of warm liquid running down my clenched fist.

Not bothering to turn around and look at my attackers, I flew like a bat out of hell back to the campsite and made my way to the clothes I was going to use as a makeshift bed. Digging through the dirty clothing I was going to call a bed that night, I heard an animalistic roar of fury followed by another concussive blast of magic hitting me in the side. I looked up and saw Elytra flying at me with pure rage as she attempted to tackle me to the ground. In a moment, a single moment that lasted less than a second, a moment I committed to memory for the rest of my life, I ignited Darth Vader's Lightsaber for the first time.

I was completely blinded by the light but was able to hear the dull monotone hum of the Lightsaber, accompanied by the sizzling sound of flesh against burning metal, and the gurgling sounds of a creature slowly dying inches away from my face. The smell of her body being burned away by the blade invaded my nostrils, reminding me of fresh Buffalo wings from back home, it was both disgusting and disturbingly enticing.

As I cracked my eyes open I saw... Jesus I don't even know how to describe it. The life slowly drained out of her eyes as she stared at me with a mixture of fear and complete and utter disbelief. Her breathing hitched in her throat, almost as if she was begging for mercy as green blood sputtered out of her mouth.

As she finally died, she slid off of my Lightsaber, my weapon had cut a line from her stomach to the right side of her abdomen as she fell off of it. After her body hit the ground, I dropped my Lightsaber, turning it off in the process as it joined the fresh corpse on the ground. In a moment of clarity, I was able to hear the faint heartbeat of Trixie in the bushes nearby, but was too frozen in complete fear to do anything. It was only when I heard the sound of hundreds of wings buzzing in the east that I came to my senses and rushed over to the bush in an instant.

When I got there, I saw Trixie inside a translucent green egg sack in a fetal position as she floated in a green glowing liquid. Not wasting a moment I quickly ripped the egg sac in half and grabbed Trixie. Holding her in my arms, I was able to hear her breathing and heart rate slowly stabilize. I didn't have any time to thank any gods for her safety as a terrifying sound reminded me that we were still in mortal danger.

The rhythm of wings buzzing in almost perfect unison was getting too close for my liking, making me fly far away as fast as I could before more of those creatures could arrive.

Don't worry Trixie, we're getting out of here. We'll be safe. I thought to myself as I flew in the general direction of Ponyville.