John Sampson Returns Chapter One

I feel good ! Soaring through the clouds above Canterlot is exactly where I should be and I feel it in my bones. I could stay here forever, except. . . So I need to make plans and for my plans to have any utility I need information, I need to know what has happened while I was gone and I have to decide where home is now. There are foals that are going to be confused when their dam is suddenly a stallion and there are some serious obligations waiting in the Castle. That leads to a very obvious first step.

Landing on the Sister’s balcony, I head down the stairs into Luna’s quarters. Everything is quiet so I look in the bedroom. She’s sleeping fitfully with her back to the door. I ease in and settle down next to her. My wing covers her and pulls us together as I gently rub my cheek on her neck. She sighs once and relaxes into a deep sleep. I was planning to wake her gently but I guess that after four centuries a few hours isn’t a big deal between friends.

“John? Is it really my Great Friend John?”

I must have dozed a little myself. “Yes it is, my Very Great Friend Luna.”

We rub cheeks and snuggle for a while. This is what I think of when I say ‘welcome home’.

“I said ‘a century or two’, not four, John Sampson,” Luna chides.

“I know. Had it been my choice, it wouldn’t have been even one, my Darling Luna. Please tell me, how has life been for you and the rest of the herd?”

After a minute’s reflection, Luna begins, “I attend my duties in the night as always. Equestria is prosperous and boring. My sister is still my sister, she has not changed one whit since you left. Twilight has grown into a magnificent mare, one worthy of a stallion such as yourself, but she hides her beauty rather than overshadow Celestia. Cadance visits on state occasions and leaves as quickly as seemly.

“Celestia has appropriated as much of your wealth as she could find claiming that as herd mare to yourself as herd stallion, it is her duty. Friend Swift made her efforts a sore trial. Friend Swift left you a message, she said ‘look in your favorite place’.”

“This is great news, my Darling Luna. Your sister has established me beyond denial as Royal Herd Stallion, no doubt believing that I could be controlled as before. She doesn’t know that when I burned out, all my old oaths were consumed. I am finally a totally free agent. “Do you know what Twilight is doing is doing right now?”

Luna looks thoughtful, “She is on the Throne, covering for Celestia, while Celestia attends some ‘highly secret emergency’.”

“Luna, if I had any doubts about your sister, that ended them. I’m the ‘highly secret emergency’. She has been doing her very best to convince me that she has rescued me from near death and yet she hides the knowledge from my bandmare, her own protege. This is vintage Celestia!”

“Be calm, Friend John. Mine sister has had four centuries to consolidate her power. You are not known with the same regard as when you were battling demons.”

“I will bet a lot that you are wrong about that and even if you are not, I have some very large weapons that Celestia knows nothing about. Would you like to see her banished to the moon for a thousand years? It would require no great effort.”

“Please, John, do not place such temptation in my way. Such a battle would cost Equestria much .”

“What battle? Celestia has had four centuries of consolidation. I’ve had four centuries of growth and reserve building.”

“No, John. For all her failings, she’s still my sister. I would be forced to oppose you.”

“I wouldn’t do it if there was any other choice but it pleases me to have the option. So my going far away option looks closer every minute. With that in mind, I need to see to some things. I will have dinner with Twilight but who knows after that.”

“Take care, My Good Friend. My sister would celebrate the departures of yourself and Twilight but she will fight for every single bit that you might take with you.”

After hugging Luna I go back up the stairs and launch off the balcony. Orbiting Canterlot, I consider my options. The first thing I need is to get access to my resources, starting with my wealth. I owned the bank last I heard so let’s go see if that still applies. I glide to a landing in front of what was a hole in the ground the last time I saw it. It’s an old building now but larger and more open than the one I destroyed. And this one says ‘Bank’ on the front of it too.

As I walk in the door, a greeter comes forward with a smile. “How may we serve you, sir,” the Earth Pony mare asks.

“I need to see what my available balance is and get some pocket change.”

She’s looking me over carefully but not losing a bit of the professional manner, “Of course, sir. Right this way, please.”

She takes me to comfortable office and settles us on opposite sides of a nice desk asking, “What name is the account under, sir?”

“John Sampson.”

She blinks, “Please repeat the name, sir.”

“John Sampson. They may be several different titles attached.”

“I’ll be right back, sir,” she says, rising and leaving the room.

I don’t mind the waiting so much but the crowd gathering just outside the office door is beginning to annoy me. This isn’t my idea of how a bank should conduct business. Then a Guardpony comes striding through the office door.

The Sergeant asserts her authority, “Alright, who are you?”

“I can’t believe that the Guard has changed so much that you can address a Superior Officer like that. I’m Major John Sampson. The cutie is in plain sight, believe it.”

“Cuties can be faked. I need more proof,” the Sergeant responds.

“Are you telling me that Tobiano coated Alicorn stallions are common now a days?”

“Any kind of appearance can be faked,” the Sergeant declares.

“I flew in. Could a fake do that?” And I raise my wings until they fill the office.

“I didn’t see that, sir. I need some kind of solid proof.” the Sergeant says nervously.

I call my big sword and hold it hilt up in front of me.

“Is this solid enough?”

Snap! We have attention and salute.

“Yes Sir! Please forgive me for doubting you, Sir!”

I return salute. “Please send the crowd out and the banker back in.”

The crowd moves back some and I put my sword away. A middle aged Unicorn mare replaces the greeter.

“My name is Nearly Rich and I’m the manager of this bank. How may I help you, sir?”

“You can start by telling me something about your family. I knew Almost Rich and I’m wondering how she fared after I left.”

After a moments thought the banker replied, “I don’t know a lot. She was one of the original administrators of the Great Trust but we don’t know what she did before that.”

“She was the manager of the Ponyville branch of this bank and was briefly taken captive by the demons that owned the bank previously.”

“Sir? Did you say that demons owned this bank?”

“Yes, how do you think I got it? I beat the head demon in a straight up stallion challenge.”

“Sir? The Great Trust owns this bank.”

“Yes, and I own the trust. I had Swift set it up to keep my assets safe and in control of my herd while I was gone. I’m back.”

“Sir, the Princesses own the Great Trust.”

“And they are my herd. I’m the Royal Herd Stallion back from a long absence. I am registered as such at this bank.”

“Sir, I checked the records going back to when this building was destroyed and you aren’t in them.”

“Of course not, I obviously registered before I destroyed the building. It wouldn’t be here for some time afterwards. I was told there were duplicate records so you should have them somewhere. None of the Royal Herd would be in records if that wasn’t true.”

“Sir, it’s saying that kind of thing that causes me to doubt you. The sun destroyed the old bank building under Princess Celestia’s control. We know that for a fact.”

“The sun did destroy the building, that much is accurate. But Celestia wasn’t involved and nopony controls the sun. All kinds of things are possible if it likes you, though.”

Sir, if the sun destroyed the building, who else but Celestia could have ordered it?”

“I did. I asked it to help me kill the demons. There was a major nest in the bank and it bored through the building to get to the rest of the nest under the building. Destroying the building was never my intent but you have to be very careful when you talk to the sun. I said ‘kill all the demons’ thinking of the four in front of me. I didn’t know about the thirty odd below the basement but the sun did and it didn’t see the building as significant.”

“I’m sorry sir, I can see you in front of me and feel your obvious strength but you keep contradicting more and more known facts. I have to verify everything or I wouldn’t be doing my job.”

“Do you go by ‘Rich’ too?”

“Sir?”

“Your ancestor was fond of saying ‘I’d rather be Rich’. Do you do the same?”

“That’s a very old family joke sir. I’m curious where you heard it?”

“From Almost Rich. I need something simple to call you while we have a little adventure.”

“What do you mean by ‘adventure’, sir?”

“I’m going to prove what I’ve been telling you. Because you have been polite, I am going to let you choose the method of proof. We can mind walk, go outside and let the sun testify, or I can demonstrate magic that nopony else can do. Which do you choose?”

“Sir, I do not mind walk with strangers and I don’t care which of the other choices you use.”

“Okay. We’ll do both.”

I shift to my human body.

“This is the body I was born with.”

Then I shift to my inner Pony.

“This is my first Pony body.”

And finally, back to A-Pony.

“And this is the body I prefer. Now, let’s take a little walk outdoors.”

Stepping out of the office door, I scatter a small crowd of Ponies that had previously been just out of sight.

I address the crowd, “Don’t leave. Come with us. I want everypony to witness the demonstration.”

Nearly Rich and most of the crowd follow me to the courtyard next to the bank.

“Everypony stay back. I’m going to throw a lot of energy around and it will leave a mark if you get too close.”

I pick a spot that leaves my shadow on clear level pavement and put up a cylindrical shield several yards around me. Then I ask the sun to heat up everything in a two yard circle centering on me. It gets really bright and I let it go on until the pavement begins to bubble. Thanking the sun, I levitate enough not to leave hoofprints and pass out through the shield leaving a perfect silhouette of me in the burned pavement.

“It will take hours to cool enough to be safe. You might want to post a guard on it until then. Any questions?”

“Yes, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Celestia has arrived.

I just smile, “I’m establishing my identity and correcting a few misconceptions in the process.”

She’s not happy, “Why do you have to make a spectacle out of it?”

“Because I want something to eat and a place to sleep and to just generally have a life.”

“You can come to the Palace for all of that.”

Now it’s going to get interesting, “Yes I could. In fact, I plan to have dinner with Twilight. But I want enough pocket change to cover a nice lunch and hotel. I’m at least one of the richest ponies in Equestria so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Then I’m told that all of my money belongs to you. I fought for it once and I’ll fight for it again.”

Celestia turns to Nearly Rich, “Give him whatever he wants.” And back to me, “Satisfied?”

“No. By all that’s holy, I fought the demons and took the money and mares from them. I ordered the trust set up to benefit Equestria and I appointed Swift, Rich, and Civil admins. I will have the right name on it and I will have control.”

A ripple spread out across the world leaving a little bit of clarity in its wake.

Nearly Rich looks at me, “What was that?”

Calming down, I reply, “That was one of my special talents, Oaths. You can assume that whatever I said is the absolute truth or soon will be. My first Oath is what caused my ascension. Celestia, tell her.”

Looking unhappy, Celestia speaks, “It’s his. Put his name back on it and give him authority. But, John, don’t be surprised if it’s not what you expect. Your darling Swift burned a bunch of it fighting me. See you in the Castle.”

“Count on it, Celestia. And by the way, if you hadn’t screwed things up, I would have been happy with a decent drawing account. It's deceit and deception that sets me off. Remember that when you see Twilight.”

Celestia teleports out and I turn to Nearly Rich, “Let’s get busy. I bet there’s a storm of paperwork to fight through.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Several hours later I leave the bank with bags of gold coins in my wallet and a bunch of transfers signed. The word of my return has spread. Ponies are coming out on the street to cheer and bow. Time for the second experiment.

As I walk into the main gate of the Castle everypony bows then the Guardpony at the desk says, “I have a message from Princess Twilight for you, Your Majesty. She is waiting for you in Her Tower.”

“Thank you, Sergeant. If anypony wants me, that’s where I’ll be.”

“Yes, Sir. And Sir, the Guard remembers.”

I salute the Sergeant and head up the hall for Twilight’s Tower. When I get there, there’s no Guardpony and the door is locked. A shield is blocking teleport. I could blast right through either of them but it wouldn’t be polite so I study the lock carefully. It has a spring loaded pin that blocks the big bolt that holds the door. No problem at all for anypony with magic hands.

“Honey, I’m home!”

“Hi, Dad!” rings out from the kitchen.

“Hello, Spike. How’s life treating you?”

Spike said something but I didn’t hear it. The most beautiful pony that I ever imagined has stepped into view at the head of the stairs.

“Twilight?”

“Hello, John,” as she launches herself into the air of the main room and glides straight to me.

We meet in the middle of the main room and twine necks. I wrap my wings around her and pull her closer.

“Luna told me you had grown up but nothing she said comes close to reality. You look great, Twilight.”

“You’re not hard to look at yourself, John. And you are stronger than ever. I hear you’ve already annoyed Celestia pretty thoroughly.”

I laugh, “Twilight, you cannot imagine how mad I was when I found out that Celestia was concealing my return from you. She’s lucky all I took was bits. But I’m over it now and looking forward.”

Twilight is rubbing cheeks with me and I can feel her magic in several sensitive places. She whispers in my ear, “It’s been four lonely centuries. I want you in my life, in my bed, and in my body.”

I whisper back, “How about a nice dinner and a night of cloud dancing? Tomorrow is filled with other obligations but tonight you are my obligation and my desire.”

“Do we have to wait for dark?”

“I sorry, darling, but I haven’t eaten since a very early, very small breakfast. Why do you think I was so grouchy with Celestia?”

Twilight smiles, “Alright, I want you at your peak when we entertain Canterlot.”

Twilight inclines her head a little and our horns cross. Strength! Love! Desire! Healing! All specifically for me. That hole in my heart that I have been carefully ignoring all day seems to close just a little. I return Strength! Love! Desire! Unity! And we uncross.

I rub cheeks with Twilight and whisper, “And so the pupil teaches the master. Thank you, my Love.”

“Dinner is on the table,” Spike interjects.

I can’t resist, “Twilight, were you really going to just leave all of Spike’s hard work sitting there so we could go play?”

Twilight grins, “We’ll never know, will we? My stallion’s stomach made the decision for us.”

“Hey, we’ve discussed this before. If you want something out, you have to put something in. That’s what I am, Twilight’s protein processor.”

We’ve made it into the kitchen and, wonder of wonders, there’s smoked salmon and rice on the table for everypony.

I’m shocked, “Twilight, can this be real?”

“Yes, John. Cadance finally convinced me that fish is good for feathers.”

“Twilight, of all of the changes I’ve seen, this is the most startling, but I like it.”

Dinner is fun. Twilight steals tidbits from me until we have a contest going. I’ve never seen this side of Twilight before but it promises much for later tonight. She’s competitive and could be the strongest mare yet.

After dinner we settle in for some heavy grooming in the upstairs library. Magic opens up new possibilities. I can reach anything now. And, of course, equine lips are wonderful. I’m using mine on Twilight’s neck when she just reaches over and bites my ear, hard. I look up just in time to see her teleport out. But I get a good enough look to know where she’s going so I teleport a hundred yards higher.

Keeping my wings tucked, I dive straight down. At the last second I cup and sweep hard, knocking Twilight sideways with my downdraft. Twilight recovers and the chase is on. We zip around the castle between spires and dipping into courtyards, scattering Night Guard like leaves. I’m so close behind Twilight that I have to stay high to keep her tail out of my eyes. She turns straight up then dives into a bank of clouds. It doesn’t matter, I can feel her tail on my face. I’m beginning to detect a certain aroma so I ease closer and take a little taste. Twilight squeals and jumps ahead. Yes! I can taste her readiness. Time to get serious.

I’m taking little nips of Twilight’s flank as she zigs and zags by in front of me. I want her to work hard flying so she tires out quicker. The Castle is lit up with Batponies and Pegusi boiling out of every courtyard. Twilight dives at the Castle as Ponies scatter out of our way. She’s headed for the main gate and at the last second tucks and bullets in. I know the only place she can come out so I teleport up and hit her just as she shoots up out of the main courtyard. I’ve got her. My front legs are wrapped completely around her between her ribs and hips and my magic has a firm hold on the rest of her. Her wings lock out into a gliding position as I take over flying for both of us.

As I take us to altitude, my horn begins to sparkle and glow with magic. Twilight’s horn is emitting a solid bar so I solidify my magic and wrap it around hers. I feel her desire and she feels my strength. Then I become aware that I can feel her wings so I start working them in time to mine. All of the sensations of both bodies are available to me. My erection shoots forward and begins probing Twilight. I open myself and lift my erection to match. My body thrusts and I realize that Twilight is managing our union just like I’m managing our flight. Our magic is becoming bright enough to cast shadows hundreds of yards below us. That’s when I discover that not only are my sperm pumping out of my flare but there is an egg waiting for them. We’re making a foal right now! I scream my triumph to the heavens.

And then it’s done. As I withdraw from Twilight, I check to be sure she is ready to fly herself then release her. We just glide for a while, wingtip to wingtip, basking in the glory and the significance of what we have done. After a while, we turn back to the Castle and land on Twilight’s observatory.

Rubbing cheeks with Twilight, “That was a lot more than I expected. Did you know what was coming?”

“Some of it. But you were a surprise. I knew you were strong but to feel those muscles is just amazing. Flying both of us wasn’t even a little stress. Our foal is going to be great.”

We have just made it down to the main room when WHUMP! WHUMP!

I speculate, “I think somepony wants in. Would you please open the door, Spike, and stay off to the side when you do? I’ll take the brunt of whatever comes in.”

Twilight worries, “Are you sure, John. She won’t hurt me.”

“I’m sure, Twilight. She can’t hurt me.”

Moving to the center of the room, I do an Earth Pony anchor just as Spike releases the door lock. It’s good Spike is smart enough to stay on the open side of the door because it bursts wide as Celestia storms in.

Smiling, I greet, “Hello Celestia. I’m afraid you’ve missed the first show but there will be more later.”

Celestia’s horn is lit and she’s obviously angry, “Just what that little show all about?”

“Celestia, darling, that was me and my bandmare catching up on four centuries of missed opportunities. I think it went rather well.”

Her magic is getting thicker and darker. “John Sampson, don’t you dare play games with me.”

“Why not, Celestia? What are you going to do? I think we’ve thoroughly disposed of the old ‘failure to perform’ charge. Between that and all your legal wrangling after my money, I’m ironclad as the Royal Herd Stallion.”

Now Celestia looks ready to cry, “I want you as Herd Stallion, John. But why won’t you be my stallion?”

“Celestia, I swear I’ve tried over and over but you just won’t listen. Until you do, it’s out of my control. Ask Twilight to confirm everything I tell you. What we just did is possible because we trust each other completely. While our bodies are linked, our minds are also. I am working Twilight’s flight muscles to keep both of us in the air and safe. Twilight is managing the fertilization from both sides the same way. We can do things like that because we have complete sharing and trust with each other. You refuse to allow that and bind me with oaths and contracts so when it’s time for me to perform, some little detail that you forgot blocks me. Celestia, ask yourself why can I cover every mare in Equestria but you?”

Twilight steps up beside me, “Please listen to him, Celestia. He’s speaking the absolute truth. That’s what caused all the trouble at the beginning of our relationship. He knew that trust was needed but I wasn’t ready to share at that depth with a stallion. When I listened to him and learned, I got something beyond my wildest dreams.”

Celestia is losing her anger for confusion. Could this be the chance I’ve been waiting for? I have to try. I release the anchor and step to her. Caressing both of her cheeks with my magic, I lift her head until I can look directly into her eyes.

“Celestia, you have protected and guided an entire world for more than fifteen hundred years. That feat earns you the title of deity. But as you yourself pointed out, that deity lives in the body of an ordinary Pony mare. That mare has been neglected for all those centuries and as a result you have lost many of the skills ordinary Ponies take for granted. Then you compound the perfectly normal fear of the unknown with the fear of what might happen to your Ponies if they lose your protection. So I’m going to take the first step. It’s a gift, free and clear. Use it as you will.”

I cross horns with Celestia and open my mind. Amazingly, she doesn’t rush right in.

Standing on my familiar white floor, “Celestia, come on in. I crossed horns so you would have as much control as I do. This is a gift of trust.”

Celestia appears, “John, what are you doing?”

“Somepony has to take the first step. I’m doing it. Look around. Over there is Terra, very entertaining but at least four centuries out of date. Right here is John’s Equestria with complete detail of my motives and desires included. And on that side is Bud, a completely normal Earth Pony mare with herd, band, and all the things that normal ponies take for granted. You can go anywhere and learn anything you want about me. I think that Bud would be the most useful to you but I’m not even going to stick around to watch. Do you have any questions?”

“Why are you doing this, John?” Celestia is puzzled.

“Did Luna tell you about my last night before I burned out?”

“She said you cried for me but that doesn’t make any sense at all if I did the things you claim I did.”

No, Celestia, it makes all the sense in the world. For all my anger and frustration, it hurts me clean through my soul when anypony I’m responsible for, when anypony I love, is hurting and I can’t do anything about it. I had all of my herd together in health and happiness except for one. I cried for that one. Just go experience that day and see for yourself. Hell, go experience all of my triumphs and failures every time I tried to love you.”

Stepping back, I settled myself in for a long nap.

“Wake up, John.” It’s Spike. “Lunch is ready and Twilight has started without you.”

“How long has Celestia been gone?”

“Ten minutes or so. She was very upset.”

“Okay. Thank you, Spike.”

Stretching, I make my way to the kitchen where I find a large bowl of fruit calling out to me.

Twilight pounces almost immediately, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t I tell you what?”

“That you are hiding a fourteen band horn.”

“I never hid it. Think about how many times I’ve said things like ‘Celestia can’t hurt me’ or ‘I have big hidden weapons’. I just never went into detail. Did she tell you the rest of the story?”

“No. There’s more?” Twilight is worried now.

The sun has been trying to talk me into accepting all of the upgrades permanently and becoming the all powerful Pony god of Equestria. Sound familiar? I said that I wanted to be the ideal stallion for you, Twilight, and hold the rest in reserve.”

“John, what do you mean ‘familiar’?”

“It’s the same deal Celestia took a few millennia ago. I said, and I quote, ‘I don’t want to get too far ahead of my Ponies. That’s what screwed Celestia up’.”

“John, do you have any idea what this means for our foal?”

“Of course. That was part of the specification for ‘ideal stallion for Twilight’. All of our foals will have the potential to grow up to be fourteen band. For safety’s sake it will take them centuries to grow into their full powers.”

“I don’t know why I ask. Of course you have a plan, you’re John. I bet you even know if it’s a filly or colt.”

“Do you want to know? I’ll bet you can figure it out if you try.”

“What do I get if I figure it out?”

“A chance to meet the many foals already in our band.”

“He will be a colt because right now you are the only Alicorn stallion in existence and you want a spare. And I assume you mean Bud’s foals.”

“Don’t ever forget that I am Bud. I have memories of hundreds of pregnancies and foals to draw on for your education.”

“Are you serious, John? Hundreds?”

“Absolutely. Fred is one spectacularly horny stallion. I either had a sterility spell or I was pregnant. Period. Bud is a very experienced mare.”

Going back to my biggest worry, “How’s Celestia?”

Twilight looks up and replies, “Hiding. Whatever she got out of your head, she took straight to her quarters and locked the door. I’m standing by to lower the sun in case she doesn’t come out.”

I ask, “And I get the feeling you raised the sun this morning while she was lost in my mind?”

Twilight nods, “When she came out to full daylight she didn’t even blink. She just mumbled about all the things you’d hidden from her then went out the door. The fourteen band horn was the only part of it that made any sense to me.”

I expand, “I was afraid she’d do something like this but I couldn’t pass up a chance to break through her armor. Do you remember the monster? Well I’ll bet you lots of bits that she tried to copy everything I’ve done in Equestria and got a big dose of him in the process. A small dose gave your brother the wobbles.”

“Twilight is uncertain, “John, I’ve been in your mind and I’ve never seen anything that bad even though you’ve warned me before.”

I explain, “That’s because you’ve always been interested in my relationship to Ponies. The worst thing I’ve ever done to a Pony is defend myself and those I love. Even then, the harm I’ve done has been accidental. What disturbed your brother and probably Celestia too is the years in the Everfree. I survived among monsters devoted to killing and eating me by being a bigger monster than any of them. I taught most of the monsters of the Everfree to fear and avoid me. The ones that didn’t learn, I ate. I lived there for two and a half years and I did not come out skinny.”

Twilight declares, “Well, I’ve gotten to know him and I think he has a lot of redeeming virtues.”

Time to speculate a little, “Twilight, do you think I can help with Celestia or would my presence just make her worse? I could take a trip to the Crystal Empire. I need to see Cadance. For that matter, if Celestia comes out alright, you can go with me.”

“I really don’t know, John. Celestia is no weakling, you know that. She’s faced some very powerful and very evil enemies and never flinched. I can only speculate that there’s something in your memories that set off an unknown phobia of hers.”

“I really hope that’s true, Twilight, because the alternative is that she’s just discovered my true nature and can’t accept it. How long do we have to go before it’s sun down time?”

“About twenty minutes. Got something in mind?”

“I am thinking of standing with Luna on the balcony tonight. It would allow me to gauge Celestia’s reaction without being too threatening. Assuming that she shows up.”

Twilight is nodding, “I think I might add to that idea. You come up with Luna and I will come up with Celestia. I can give her some encouragement to come out and get a better look at her reaction from close up.”

I smile, “Now that sounds like a plan to me. See you in about fifteen minutes.”

And I teleport to the front door of Luna’s quarters. The Guardpony is startled but opens the door for me.

“Hello, My Darling Luna.”

“Hello, My Good Friend John. It is nearly time to raise my moon. Did you come to join me in my nightly duty?”

“Yes and no. Twilight is going to be with Celestia, we hope, and our common goal is to expose Celestia to me and observe her reaction in the least threatening circumstance we could devise.”

Luna is concerned, “I have not spoken to my sister today. Surely last night’s magnificent aerial display was not enough to cause such concern?”

“After the show, Celestia was upset. I crossed horns with her and gave her free access to my entire mind as a gesture of trust. She stayed in until lunch today and left extremely disturbed. Nopony has seen her since.”

Luna is thoughtful, “That explains why Twilight raised the sun this morning.”

“Yes, and one of us is going to have to sit Court too if she doesn’t snap out of it.”

“We will know shortly, Friend John. The time is upon us.”

Up the stairs we go and when we come out on the balcony, there is nopony else to be seen.

Worried, I remark, “I hope Twilight isn’t having problems with Celestia. I know she has the strength and ability but I don’t want either of them hurt.”

Luna is also concerned, “I hope one of them gets it right. We don’t have long. I guess you will get the duty if neither of them show.”

“Please don’t do that, Luna. Celestia has enough to dislike about me already.”

“One minute, John. If nopony comes out by then, the sun is yours.”

I cast my magic perception toward Celestia’s stairs and find nothing and nopony so I move to the center of the balcony. Maybe they will teleport in?

“Time, John!” and a dark blue bar erupts from Luna’s horn.

I take a deep breath and focus my magic, forming a brown bar and reaching for the sun. It feels strange, kinda vague and lifeless but I do what must be done.

“Luna, I’m going to check on Twilight and Celestia.”

Hurrying down the stairs and into Celestia’s quarters, I look around frantically. They’re in the kitchen calmly drinking tea, all three of them!

“Okay, what’s the game?”

Luna is apologetic, “This is a very special kind of dream, John. They asked for my help and when they explained it all to me, I agreed. I don’t like deceiving you but I think this time, it is worth it. You have more than proven your honor and devotion.”

Looking directly at Twilight, “They?”

Unapologetic, Twilight explains, “When Celestia came out more confused than ever, I had to find a way to prove to her what I already knew for certain. Luna agreed to help and this is what we came up with. You did say ‘Use it as you will’.”

Now I’m focused on Celestia, “Alright, did you find what you were looking for? Because you could have had it any time for the simple asking.”

Looking pained, Celestia replies, “But how could I know if I could trust you? Even in your own mind you have contradictory visions. I cannot feel your certainty.”

“Celestia, listen and learn. Where I was born, where I grew up and learned about the world, there is no magic and just one sentient race. There is a lot of speculation and imagination, at least part of which must be some kind of leakage between the universes. Then you drag me here and I have to find a way to separate old fiction and new fact. Why do you think I refer to most of the monsters of the Everfree as ‘mythical beasts’? Ask Luna about teaching me to teleport. I had a serious fear of teleporting into a solid object by accident because I grew up hearing horror stories about just that happening. That’s the source of all those contradictions. But when did I ever fail to choose the true path?

Looking serious, Celestia says, “John, you’re just telling me why I can never trust you.”

“No, Celestia, I’m telling you how to trust me. Give me complete information and I will use knowledge and skills unknown in Equestria to make better decisions. What you can’t do is force me into specific actions then blame me for the choice.

“When did I ever do that, John?”

“When you bound me with an oath to control my bloodline then blamed me when that oath blocked me from covering you, the very crisis that triggered my overload and your emotional meltdown.”

“I thought you had to overload to kill all of the demons.”

“I had to overload to kill all of the demons when you chose fighting me instead of helping me. With your help I might have killed the demons and had a magnificent herd. You can’t possibly live long enough for me to forget that but you might earn some forgiveness.”

“Why would I need your forgiveness?”

“Let’s see. Maybe you want something from me. Maybe you need my help. Maybe you realize that if you piss me off enough I can spank you to little pieces.”

“I can get whatever I want from you with or without your agreement. And do you still think you can beat me?”

“Twilight, watch this carefully. I don’t know if it will work in the dream but just to be sure, I will repeat it when I wake. I, John Sampson, do hereby swear absolutely and irrevocably that I will do whatever, in my personal judgment and no others, is best for Equestria, my band, and my herd, specifically without regard for any whim, wish,or will of Celestia’s.”

A larger than expected ripple spread out from my Oath.

“You really don’t want to push me any harder, Celestia. The next oath will be personal.”

Recovering from her shock, Twilight exclaims, “No, John! Don’t do that!”

I’m still pissed, “Why not, Twilight? You’re more than ready to take her place. Any mare as arrogant and pigheaded as Celestia deserves eternal virginity.”