John Sampson Returns Chapter Sixteen

Yes!! It’s zero four hundred and time to begin the best day of my life. After years of conflict, decades of hard work, and centuries of patience, it’s time to enjoy some of what I’ve earned. Today the whole damned world is going to recognize me for who I am.

Standing carefully, I fold my wings and step quietly to the door. Both Smooth and Galinda are rising behind me but it’s too late, the hall toilet is mine. In the kitchen I put on the big kettle and give it a little push while I wait to see who won the race to the master bath.

Galinda bounces in, “Good morning, John,” and starts getting tea ready. She’s moving a lot of things with her magic now.

“My, we feel chipper today,” I exclaim.

Galinda beams, “Our enemies are defeated, our strength grows, and most of Equestria is here to submit to us. What’s wrong with any of that?”

I smile, “Nothing, but I wouldn’t put too much faith in that “submit”. What they’ll really do is admit that open war is no longer an option and switch to sneaking and back-stabbing.”

Smooth and Gerald stroll in about then.

Gerald grins, “But we can have a little fun with them when we catch them messing up, right?”

Smooth has a more practical question, “Just how do you speed that kettle up?”

“Watch,” and I give it another, stronger push. “Practice outdoors before you do it yourself. It’s just a different kind of ‘shape’ to impose on the water but you have to be careful. Too much heat will have boiling water spraying everywhere and don’t even think about ordering the metal kettle to boil.”

This earns me thoughtful looks from all three so it’s very worth the time. Granger and Gertrude join us and we get serious about absorbing caffeine. A few cups later we form up and set off for breakfast.

There’s no line at the ‘Extra Cafeteria’ so we turn in there and claim a large table near the center of the room. Smooth and Galinda head back to order for us. As luck would have it, Horsein and six of his guardhorses walk in looking a little lost. As I stand, I nod to Galinda in the back before I beckon to Horsein.

“Over here, we’ve got plenty of table,” I call.

Horsein stops in front of the table, “Let me find these Horses a table and turn in our orders and I’ll be right back.”

I smile, “All of you sit right here and I’ve already ordered for all of you. I assume oatmeal, garden salad, and mixed fruit will be sufficient?”

Horsein nods and they all pick spots across the table. I turn and float a very large tray train to our table. Several of the Horses look conflicted over the idea of so much food just floating to them.

Smooth and Galinda take their places on either side of me as I introduce them and Gertrude to Horsein.

Horsein is bemused, “I see mares everywhere I look in Equestria, don’t you worry about another stallion stealing them?”

I laugh loud enough to startle a couple of the Horses, “If you want to join the Royal Herd there is a way that starts with getting my approval and that isn’t easy. If you just want to grab one of mine and run, they are proven warriors and Alicorns. Pissing one off is really dangerous. For the rest of Equestria, any stallion can challenge any stallion but the winner wins the other stallion’s entire life, all his mares, all his property, and all his obligations including foals. Failing to uphold those obligations or stealing from foals would put all of Equestria, including me, to hunting his ass.”

Horsein looks significantly at his Horses and a couple of them look nervous.

Looking directly at them, I say, “This is the time for questions, guys. There are no ranks and no repercussions for the duration of breakfast. I will recommend that you purchase a sterility spell before you go looking for fun. Any Guardpony you see will show you how and may even help you use it. There is a shortage of stallions in Equestria and when you go off duty, you will be solicited by a lot of mares. Don’t be insulted and don’t be overloaded.”

One of the Horses looks over his tray and asks, “Does the Equestrian military always eat this good and in such style?”

“This good? Of course. A healthy soldier is a better fighter. In this style? We opened up a banquet room for the extra Ponies here for the big ceremony. The tables in the regular cafeteria are smaller. I eat there regularly so the kitchen knows that I approve of their food and I will do something if it doesn’t meet my standards. They’re proud of my never having to question them and work to maintain that quality.”

Horsein looks askance at me, “John, are you trying to hire my guards away from me?

Trying for innocence, “Me? Hire good warriors? Of course. Or you could just open an embassy here and let them staff it. Then I could call on you for help when things go silly.”

That gets a laugh, then Gerald has an idea, “You could just introduce him to your sister. You cannot imagine how fun life is with John in the family. Their honeymoon shut Griffonstone down for a night and a day.”

Horsein is curious, “Oh? Big celebration?”

“No,” I explain, “A cloud dance. If you stick around for a few days after the ceremony, you might get to see one.”

Horsein is confused now so Gerald enlightens him, “Alicorn love. There’s so much magic in these guys that they need from horizon to horizon when they get excited. I’m told that John and Luna had so much fun they changed the weather for the region.”

A very incredulous Horsein asks, “He’s kidding, right?”

I shake my head, “No. Luna kept trying to hide in clouds so I sent them away until she ran out of places to hide.”

All of the Horses are staring at me now. One of them asks carefully, “Are all of the mares like that?”

I answer, “All Ponies have some magic. How much and what kind is an individual thing. Alicorns have the most magic. And on that note I must take my leave of good company. My morning appointment is approaching.”

I float the herd’s trays back to the kitchen and we form up for the trip back to my quarters. When I get to the balcony, the courtyard is packed. I guess I’ve become a tourist attraction. The raising is almost boring.

Back downstairs Luna, Sam, Twilight, Cadance, and Spike are working with Galinda, Smooth, and Gerald to get everypony’s finery laid out and ready in the common room. I’m just sipping tea and staying calm. It will take hours to get all of the visitors into the Throne Room and in their places. Twilight eventually gets called off to explain to some Noble why she’s behind a visiting monarch. Gerald is explaining to a very intent Luna how the Horses reacted to the story of our last cloud dance. This is worth more to me than all of the pomp and circumstance to come. I have a herd of diverse individuals that are coming together with love and support for each other.”

Finally, Twilight returns and it’s time to get dressed. As we get ready, I have an inspiration. I levitate just clear of the floor and go gliding pony. Turning my sun raiment on, I show off for Granger before they go out the side door to take their places in the Throne Room.

Granger is impressed, “Damned, John. I know who you are and how you do it but that still scares the crap out of me.”

We line up in the hall with Guard on both sides of us. Spike is peeking in the Throne Room door and signals that all is ready. Here we go. Twilight leads and I bring up the rear. There is a collective gasp as I clear the door. We march up through the center of the Room, peeling off to the right then left as we reach the Thrones against the back wall. Everypony halts in front of their Throne and we mount the dais as one. All settle into their Thrones except me, I am standing on the dais looking out over a sea of every Pony and other species that I can imagine.

“Hello, I’m John Sampson. I was born in a completely different universe and summoned here by Celestia as the stallion best able to help her solve some problems in Equestria. The first problem that I ran into was some demons that were looting Equestria. I was forced to overload myself with magic to free Equestria from their grip and save my own life. That led to a four century convalescence during which Celestia continued to bear the brunt of the daily governance of Equestria.

“As soon as I was able to start taking some of the load off of Her, Celestia collapsed. She is currently resting in exactly the same place as I had previously. We’re calling Her ‘retired’ because She is even worse shape than I was and will likely be gone for more centuries. Until she returns, I am tending the sun and performing all of Celestia’s previous duties. All treaties and obligations will remain in force with a few additions. Before the great battle with the demons, Celestia and I had made a plan to ensure peace and greater prosperity for Equestria. Some of it went ahead while I was recuperating. The rest is beginning now.

“All individuals of good will and conscientious manner are welcome to participate regardless of race or nation. You can see one of the results of that policy on the Throne next to mine. As our world grows, so must our way of overseeing it. Griffons and Ponies are now parts of a greater herd. Together we overcame the rogue Dragons and ensured the safety of both races. Afterwards we found that we had enough in common to merge the Royal Herd and Royal Flock by the most traditional of methods.

“In the future there will be more Alicorns and government will become decentralized so that our citizens may have easy access to decision making and remedies that are important to their lives. This will also free major magic users from some of the daily grind of government so that they may devote more effort to projects for the public good like roads and schools. Any time I am here and not in the middle of a previous engagement, I will be available. Come and talk to me. As soon as I have welcomed all of you, I will be out on the courtyard for informal talk and getting to know each other.”

As I step back to my Throne, Granger begins the line to greet me. When he approaches, I step down and welcome him with Gertrude and Gerald, escorting them to the chairs next to my Throne. When the line resumes, I nod to the participants from my Throne as they pass by and out the door to the courtyard. When the line finally ends, we get up and head for the side door to my quarters. Leaving our finery, we dressed informally and headed out the back door.

Granger is giggling, “You know that nopony is going to recognize you? After that show you just put on they never even saw your face past the eerie wizard king.”

I just grin as we make our way across the courtyard trying to generally approach the food tables. We have almost made it when a Griffon that I don’t recognize spots Granger.

“King Granger! Just who I want to see,” he exclaims.

Granger turns toward him, “Hello Gary. What brings you to this festive gathering?”

Nearly breathless with excitement, Gary explains, “Yes, sir. You know I run courier for one of the big ship companies in the Celestial Sea? They hired me and paid my way here to tell them if the stories about the Dragons are true and if that’s really Galinda on that throne. They want to know how this new Pony god is going to affect trade and when I saw you up there with him I knew you would have all the answers. By all that’s holy you must be brave beyond imagining to stand there next to a god that can eat a Dragon in one gulp!”

Granger looks like he’s having convulsions he’s trying so hard not to laugh so I wrap my right wing around Gary and pull him off in the direction we were heading originally.

“Let’s let Granger have a moment to compose himself. It’s been a trying day already,” I suggest.

I can see the table I want and it has a crowd in front of it. But I can overcome, I load a platter using my magic and float it over the crowd.

I offer some of the meat to the young Griffon, “Here, try some of this, Gary. It’s really good meat.”

Gary is enthusiastically stuffing his beak when Granger catches up to us.

“Is that what I think it is?” Granger asks.

I nod and Granger snags himself a couple of pieces. Gary swallows and asks, “You know what this is?” of Granger.

Granger swallows and answers, “Dragon tail.”

Gary looks at me so I nod, “Yep, it sure is. I bagged it myself.”

Gary is shaking as he asks, “What did you say your name is?”

With a grin, “I didn’t say but you can call me ‘John’.”

Wide eyed and still shaking, Gary asks, “’John’ like the new Pony god ‘John Sampson’?”

Smiling, “Yes, exactly like ‘John Sampson’.”

Gary lets out one ear splitting screech and falls over to lay frozen with his eyes wide open.

Granger looks down at him, “Damned, John. The cub has always been kinda high strung but I think you may have broken him this time.”

I fan Gary with my wing and float the platter over everypony’s head as Granger goes in search of water. A strange looking pair, a Griffon and an Earth Pony, both well worn and tough, walk up just as Granger returns with a pitcher. I take the pitcher and dribble a little water on Gary’s face as I continue to fan him.

The Earth Pony asks, “Do ya think the colt is hurt?”

I reply, “His vital signs are all normal and nothing is broken so I think he just worked himself into a major panic attack.”

The Griffon remarks, “Aye, the cub is rather excitable. That’s not bad when we need something done fast.”

I look them over, “So I gather you two are his employers and you have some questions.”

The Earth Pony bows, “Salt Foam at yer service and this be Gristle, my partner. We’re pleased to meet you Prince John.”

Gary starts sputtering and trying to sit up but he sees me standing over him and goes wide eyed again.

Gristle steps up, “Here, let me,” and takes over caring for Gary.

Salt Foam explains, “We set the colt to gathering stories about you and I’m afraid he’s believing some of the wilder ones. He even thinks you eat Dragons.”

I laugh, “That one is true. In fact, you can try some yourself.”

I float the platter back down to a convenient level and offer it to the ship owners. Gristle takes a piece and nods then he takes a second piece and offers it to Salt Foam.

Salt Foam eats it and smiles, “Aye, this is sweet meat. I could make a pretty penny selling it in Griffonstone. And this is Dragon ya say?”

“This is the tail off of the first Dragon I caught eating Ponies. That’s the new treaty with the Dragons, if a Dragon eats a Pony or Griffon, I eat that Dragon. The Lord of Dragons calls me ‘the Terrible Pony Monster’ so doubt they’ll break that treaty anytime soon.”

Salt Foam is laughing so hard he wakes Gary. Gary gets shakily to his feet then spots me and sits back down.

Gristle comforts him, “Have no fear lad, the Terrible Pony Monster is on our side. He’ll not harm you.”

I nod, “And, to answer the other question, that is Galinda on the Throne beside mine. She is my mate and we have merged the Royal Flock with the Royal Herd to unite Canterlot and Griffonstone. With the combined strengths of Ponies and Griffons I doubt anypony will challenge us.”

I can see the eyes of our two shipowners lighting up with piles of gold coins. Visions of free and profitable trade are playing out in their minds. Meanwhile, something is happening a few yards up the tables and it seems to center on the meat table so I make my way towards it.

Sea Storm is standing in front of a platter of meat and addressing Fuller Bull, “There is just no way. It isn’t even slightly possible.”

A small crowd is gathered to hear the outcome so I step in front of them and ask, “What isn’t possible?”

Fuller Bull speaks first, “Is this the Dragon that you hinted you were going to serve?”

I point to the tray on the table, “You see the thin slice under the pile on the tray? The one shaped like the cross-section of a tail? It’s there to identify the contents of this tray as Dragon tail.”

Sea Storm is staring at me, “But why would you even want to?”

So I explain how the new treaty with the Dragons came into being and point out that this is a treaty violator on the tray. Several pairs of wings go up in the crowd but something else catches my eye. An Earth Pony wearing Palace Guard insignia is listening to the whole affair with great concentration. This should be old news to anypony in the Palace Guard. When I take a closer look, he has no magic signature. I can hide or modify my magic signature but an Earth Pony can’t do that.

Granger and I drift away from the crowd and the Earth Pony shifts in our direction.

“Granger, I need a favor from you. Find Twilight and ask her if the Solar Celebration is ready.”

As Granger walks away, I throw up a series of weak shields around me. They won’t be noticeable to most Ponies but they will make it much easier to go away from me than any other direction. I drift a little farther from the crowd until the Earth Pony emerges into the open. There’s a little stutter in his step when he encounters the first shield. An Earth Pony shouldn’t have even been able to feel that one. I throw a three yard soft shield around him and drag him to me. When he’s close enough, I throw a larger soft shield around both of us.

Looking at him from close up, “Who are you and why are you sneaking around?”

Bowing, he says, “Your Majesty, I’m just a hard working Earth Pony . .”

I cut him off, “Bull! Fucking! Shit! If you had actually been in the Guard for a single day of your life, you would be saluting and addressing me as ‘Sir’. You had better start praying right now that no harm has come to the Pony whose image you have stolen.”

Then he tries to put up a shield inside of my shield. When it collides with my shield, the soft shield just starts draining the power out of his shield. He flickers a few times and I suddenly have a very tired Deer standing in front of me.

“See how much better that feels. You were invited and could have come in the front door with everypony else. Now please tell me why you feel the need for subterfuge.”

He demands, “Where is Celestia? We cannot detect her magic and you are a carnivore. Did you kill her?”

I focus on him, “Listen carefully fool. I explained all of this in my introduction. She’s resting so of course I blocked her magic. If she still had it, how could she rest? She is part of my herd and band so she is my responsibility by her own choice.”

While this is going on, several Guardponies have gathered at the perimeter of my shield. None of them have the right magic signature.

“Damned you’re a bunch of silly deer. Couldn’t you have put a little effort into those disguises?” I taunt.

One of them, a fake Pegasus, asks, “What are you talking about, Sire?”

Smiling, I order, “Give me a five yard hover right now.”

She spreads her wings and waves them about as she rises from the ground.

I burst out laughing, “That is definitely not how wings work. Every winged tribe and race on this yard knows you’re a fake now. And you over there trying to pass as a Unicorn, you’re the worst fake of all.”

I strongly suspect that the ‘Unicorn’ is their leader because he’s showing way too much magic for such a little horn. Regardless, I have their full attention now and I can see real Guardponies in the background evacuating the civilians.

He confirms my suspicion by dropping his disguise and introducing himself, “I’m King Oak and we’re here to verify the safety of Princess Celestia.”

I smile, “No problem. Just mingle and enjoy the party. When I am finished meeting with my guests, I will take you and you alone to visit her. She is quite ill and I will not further traumatize her. Meanwhile you can speak with Luna, Twilight, and Cadance about her breakdown. They were all involved.”

“No. That is not acceptable,” delivered as flat and unyielding as plate steel.

I’m becoming a bit annoyed, “The only other thing I can offer you is a mind walk but I really don’t see this as your problem. We’re all Pony and we’re responsible to each other, not you.”

“We have to know that this is not a coup. We must protect Princess Celestia,” again flat and hard.

“Even if this were a coup, which it’s not, it would be up to the Ponies to do something about it, not you. Pony politics isn’t your problem,” I reply.

I hope he comes up with something new soon. I’m running out of polite ways to waste time.

“Bring her here right now.”

My turn to be flat, “No. She is quite ill and I will not exacerbate her condition to satisfy your whim. If you insist, we will fight.”

Then he holds up a small gold brooch on a red silk ribbon, “Do you recognize this?”

I can feel my magic on it from here, “Yes. Where is the cub?”

He’s smirking now, “We have her and she is safe, for now.”

I focus hard, “Are familiar with my talent for Oaths?”

Slightly confused, “Of course, that’s what brought you to our attention.”

Smiling, “Well try this one. I hereby swear by all that I have and represent that if any harm comes to Germain or any other foal as a result of your action or inaction, I will end your bloodline and that of any who aid or defend you.”

A large ripple spreads out from me and the Deer all gasp when it touches them.

King Oak is one seriously pissed Deer. He’s got me by the short hairs but I have a firm grip on his nuts. It’s time to squeeze a little.

I’m addressing his followers, “You can all just drop the disguises now. Everypony knows you are fakes and continuing to hide just makes them wonder who you’re here to assassinate. Besides, all you have to do is stop threatening my herd and that Oath becomes moot.”

The ‘Pegasus’ and the other ‘Earth Pony’ both uncloak. That gives me three fairly average Deer and one that looks to be Alicorn equivalent. The courtyard is nearly clear now and I can see Twilight on the balcony watching so I take a solid stand and drop the shields. My original captive scurries off to stand with the other Deer.

King Oak steps toward me, “Are you surrendering, Pony?”

With a hearty laugh, “You couldn’t take me, or Twilight, or Luna and all three are staring at you right now. Now that the civilians are safe, I’m willing to take you, King Oak, to see Celestia. The rest of you can stay here and stare across the courtyard at lots of Guardponies.”

King Oak bristles, “You aren’t in control here, Pony. They’ll come with me.”

Smiling, “Neither are you. Nopony leaves here unless I teleport them. Twilight mastered selective shields centuries ago.”

King Oak’s antlers light with magic then blow sparks everywhere. He tries again with the same result. The other Deer are getting white eyed and restless.

I raise my voice, “Twilight, open a portal to Griffonstone and send Granger and Gerald with a squad each to investigate. I want a report back ASAP. Keep Galinda here in case Germain comes back here.”

King Oak is snorting and pawing, “It won’t do you any good, Pony. We’re way ahead of you.”

Twilight calls out, “They’re gone, John. Luna took them just in case they run into any Deer.”

Time to get serious, “My good King Oak, while we have a few minutes to wait, let’s discuss what is going on here and ways to get out of it alive. Please tell me what I have done to offend the Deer? I lived in the Everfree for a couple of years without incident.”

“We are not the Deer of the Everfree, we are the Elder Deer,” pronounces a rather haughty King Oak.

Confused, I reply, “Okay. So I’ve had even less chance to offend you and I still don’t see how it necessitates an attack on Griffonstone.”

King Oak puffs up, “We were charged many centuries ago with protecting the younger races from themselves and from the Animals.”

I nod, “Now that’s useful information but you could have just walked in the front door with everypony else to tell me. That is the main purpose of this gathering.”

Something about that infuriates King Oak, “Mingle with Animals! Never!”

Back to confusion, “So you weren’t ‘mingling’ when I spotted you? For that matter, I think we’re all flesh and blood here.”

With disgust, King Oak proclaims, “How could you possibly understand, you’re an Animal yourself!”

Laughing, “Well, I’m not vegetable or mineral! But I am fairly sure that I am both more educated and more ethical than you. I invited you here under full protection and am still adhering to that promise despite you having threatened my cub.”

In full rant now, King Oak says, “That’s what I mean. You associate with meat eaters and give them access to power. Princess Celestia knew better.”

I’m beginning to get a clue, “That’s what you mean by ‘Animal’? Not a pure herbivore?”

Angrily, King Oak replies, “Of course, that's what I mean. Meat eaters target Does and Fawns to feed their insatiable hunger!”

Twilight shouts, “John, Luna is back. There’s lots of sleeping Griffons but no damage and no Germain. They’re still looking but her sitter was in her room and she wasn’t.”

Focusing on King Oak, “Let’s go get Germain then we can visit Celestia.”

King Oak smiles, “Just release us and I will take you to where the cub is.”

Raising my voice, “Twilight, until I return with Germain a state of war exists between Equestria and the Elder Deer. Keep the prisoners comfortable but keep them here. Any Elder Deer found within borders will be captured and brought here.”

King Oak sputters dramatically, “You silly Pony, how can you imagine this is a war?”

Making sure I’m loud enough for everypony to hear, “Listen close, dingleberry, you come into a peaceful gathering by deception and deceit, you attack not just my personal Flock but the youngest near infant member, all without warning, grievance, negotiation, or recourse and you can’t understand why I would consider it an act of war? And when confronted, you tell me you did it because you are protecting the world from the animalistic nature of the winged races? You’re madder than a peach orchard boar. And you know the funniest part, the Pony you say you came here to rescue, Celestia, is a winged Pony.”

Matching my volume and adding some ferocity, King Oak replies, “What are you talking about? I never said a damned thing about wings!”

Swooping in for the verbal ‘kill’, “Didn’t you? Look around. What do all of the ‘horrible, meat-eating races’ at this gathering have in common? I’ll give you a clue, wings. It takes a certain kind of energy dense diet with specific fats and oils in it to support a flier. Wanna guess what we call the food group that completes that diet? Meat! You’re at war with half of Equestria over a simple accident of birth.”

Looking around, I’m seeing a lot of ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ and complete shock on balconies and in windows around the courtyard. The ‘war’ is pretty much over, now all I need to do is bring Germain home.

But King Oak isn’t going quietly, “Babble all you want, Pony, I still hold the trump card.”

Speaking carefully, “While we’re on that subject, let’s go get her right now. Just tell me where to go.”

Still defiant, “Lift the shield, Pony, and I’ll take you there.”

With resignation, “There is no chance that I will allow you freedom or control before Germain is here and safe. There is an excellent chance that I will demonstrate my superior magic by ripping it out of your mind if you wait too long. Think about that real carefully. You’ll have a meat-eating predator knowing your innermost secrets. I might even leave you some memories to go with those darkest hungers.”

Dammit! I must have hit a sore spot there. King Oak tries to teleport several times in rapid succession then starts firing bolts at me. He’s actually rather disappointing. I’d heard that the Ancient Deer were extremely powerful and wise. The Elder Deer seem to have missed on both counts. But he’s running down now so it’s time to try again.

“Now that we have that out of our system, are we ready to get to work fixing this?” I inquire calmly.

King Oak snarls at me, “Damn you, Pony! Must you torment me?”

Looking him directly in the eye, “Yes. And it’s going to keep getting worse until you take me to Germain.”

King Oak screeches, “It’s hidden, you can’t just go there!”

“If you can get there, I damned sure can. Just point me in the right direction. The White Tail Woods, maybe?”

Looking defeated, King Oak answers, “It’s a little farther west but not far.”

“Good.” I raise my voice to Twilight again, “We’re going west of White Tail Woods to pick up Germain. Keep the world together until we get back.”

I form a pre-shaped shield around him and teleport us to five thousand yards over the western edge of the White Tail Woods. The instant we arrive, he takes off running. Luckily, the shield he’s standing on has a wall and a top. Then he tries to teleport a couple of times. I’m just gliding easy holding the shield next to me.

“I’m not going to let you get away. Now, you can see the land in front of you, which way?” I ask.

White eyed and shaking, King Oak snarls, “You can’t intimidate me, Pony.”

Smiling, “Your face says otherwise but it wasn’t my intent. I know that you can’t fall to your death because I just watched a Deer levitate. Now, where to?”

Deflated, King Oak directs, “Travel a little north of due west until you see two solitary peaks. Land immediately south of the easternmost one.”

Bump! A quick teleport puts us over a plain almost directly south of the easternmost of a pair of peaks. Another, smaller bump puts us about a thousand yards from and four hundred yards above the base of that mountain.

“I see a cave near where you directed. Is that our destination?”

King Oak nods, “If you can’t trust me to teleport us in, there is a maze that will have to be walked.”

My turn to nod, “Or your friends can just bring her out. I’ve made sure every magic user on this continent knows we’re coming.”

Yep, as we approach the vale in front of the cave I see no Deer but lots of signatures so I land in the center of them.

“There’s no point in hiding. Even when I can’t see your body, the glare of your magic is unmistakable.”

Suddenly I’m surrounded by Deer. A particularly large stag steps out toward me, “What are you doing here, Pony?”

So I just grin at him, “Hello there. I’m Prince John Sampson, Herd Stallion of Equestria and brother-in-law of the kidnap victim. You are?”

Looking at me sternly, “I’m King Oak, Herd Stag of the Deer. Why are you here, Pony?”

This just keeps getting stranger, “If you’re King Oak, who is that idiot in the jar over there? He called himself ‘King Oak’ when he kidnapped and threatened my cub. He also claims Germain is here. Is she?”

King Oak 2 looks at me curiously and asks, “Who is ‘Germain’?”

I reply, “White feathers over brown fur, a little over knee high on me, bundle of energy and anger loudly declaring herself Princess Germain of Griffonstone. Believe me, she’s hard to miss.”

Several of the Deer are chuckling so I know they’ve seen her.

King Oak 2 grumbles a bit, “We may have such a creature in the caves. I can take you to see if it’s her.”

With a smile, “No, you can just save us all some time and bring her out here. Then we’ll swap your clone for her and be on our way home.”

Something is going to come to a head shortly so I throw up a shield and take an anchor. Sparks fly almost immediately as somepony tries to force teleport me. A lot of little things are feeling off to me but the only way to find out is to play along.

“That’s not going to work. Bring her out now or I’m going to start ripping mountain up.”

Germain appears suspended next to King Oak 2 as he says, “Surrender now, Pony, or she’ll suffer for it.”

As Germain screams in pain, I kick up my speed, call the Beretta, open a hole in the shield, and fire one round through King Oak’s left eye. Before Germain can fall to the ground, I have the Beretta put away and shout, “Over here, right now!”

I extend the shield around Germain and look up to see King Oak’s head still exploding in the best Hollywood special effects style. A number of the Deer have simply disappeared and the landscape is shimmering. Hypothesis confirmed but let’s make absolutely sure.

“Germain, jump up on my back and get a firm hold on my withers. Sink the claws in and don’t worry about a little blood, we’re leaving and I don’t want to drop you.”

I can feel her weight but not much else as she settles on top of me so we have certainty.

“Alright, guys. Drop the illusion, it’s over.”

And just like that, I’m standing on my familiar white floor looking at one healthy King Oak and a bunch of Deer.

“You have an impressively resilient mind, Pony. I just wish you had continued the test until we had some kind of conclusion.”

Mildly annoyed, “My name is ‘John’. You will use it and with proper titles when we are in public or I will refer to you as ‘Woody’ until you do. Your ‘test’ was a spectacular waste of time.”

King Oak studies me, “We have to know. The Nightmare and Sombra are bad enough but at least they’re Ponies. We can’t let an outsider just take control of Equestria. We have to know your motives and limits.”

“Woody, you’re an idiot. Once you’ve made it to here, all of my memories, motives, and emotions are right in front of you. You don’t need a simulation, you’ve got reality.”

King Oak looks like I slapped him, “Don’t you think we tried that? It took a hundred and twenty two Deer working together to bring enough order to your mind for the simulation to work and it didn’t hold up long. How could we trust anything we found in that mess?”

Smiling, “You mean this mess we’re standing in the middle of?”

Looking sheepish, King Oak replies, “We were wondering how you accomplished so much magic. It seems there was a missing factor.”

Feeling generous, “The ‘missing factor’ is me. I have memories and bodies from multiple universes and races. It takes my personality to sort them. That’s how I spotted your game. You chose mismatched memories to build your world.”

King Oak is nodding, “And the farther we got from the common ground of Canterlot, the more mistakes we made. That’s actually a pretty good defense. So is there a way to answer our questions?”

“Of course. Just ask.”

King Oak considers carefully, “Why are you eating that Dragon? What sane purpose is served by eating that Dragon at this time?”

This going to be fun to watch, “Basically, he asked me to.”

All of the Deer are muttering and staring at me so I bring my memory of the Dragons on the beach right up to us and play it.

“I wouldn’t recommend stepping into it. It gets real intense when I spot the infant but the gist is that the Dragons wanted a predator/prey relationship with Ponies so I agreed and assumed the predator role. I butchered two Dragons before they decided to renegotiate.”

King Oak is looking thoughtful and surprised at the same time, “That actually makes sense and is less destructive than a war. But why would you want to serve his meat to everypony?”

“This is my introduction to all of Equestria. I want all races and nations to know from the start that anypony that preys on my herd does so at their peril. I want them to be completely sure that I can and will make good on that promise. And then I expect it to be a very long time before I have another opportunity to hunt anypony.”

King Oak remarks, “I see your logic but this a very different way of thinking than Celestia’s. We need to understand it.”

I grin, “Of course. Our goals are the same. I want the biggest, healthiest, happiest herd in existence. The reason I am here is because Celestia’s ‘Mother Goddess’ methods are at their limits right now. She summoned me as a partner able to take Equestria to the next level.”

A concerned King Oak asks, “That sounds good for the Ponies but what about all the other races? Are you just going to crowd them out?”

“’Equestria’ includes all the races. How well would conquering the Griffons work? It would be a bloody battle until somepony went extinct. It’s much simpler to just incorporate them and I did it using the oldest method there is, marriage, and got myself a sizzling hot mate out of the deal.”

King Oak guffaws, “Surely you don’t think you can marry your way into every nation in Equestria?”

With a big smile, “Why not? A stallion can have as many mares as he can support and I am individually wealthy enough to support a fair sized nation even before the growth and prosperity begins. All I have to do is wait for the right mate to come along and I’ve got millennia to wait.”

Looking askance, King Oak states, “Even you don’t believe it’s that easy.”

With an even bigger smile, “Of course not, I just wanted to hear you admit that you are monitoring me for truth. Now focus and listen carefully. I was born into a race of apex predators, a race so aggressive that they evolved a new kind of predator called a ‘protector’. I was an Alicorn equivalent protector responsible for keeping a population larger than Equestria safe from all kinds of disasters when Celestia’s summoning found me. It’s taken a while to learn how to be a Pony and get a plan in motion but you’ll like where I’m going. I want to keep my Ponies safe by making them the best thing that ever happened to Equestria.”

King Oak is thoughtful, “I can see how this would happen, ‘Protector’ meshes well with Alicorn. You seem to believe very strongly in your ‘plan’. Why is that?”

“The universe I was born in is millennia ahead of Equestria in many ways. I know the mistakes that can be made and have already avoided several of them. That’s my edge,” I explain.

King Oak is curious, “Give me an example.”

This is going to be easy, “The governments of Terra, the universe of my birth, once thought that they could hide basic principles of physics from their populations. When I left there, less than a hundred years after that mistake, it was possible for any individual that could accumulate a relatively small amount of the right materials to vaporize a small nation. The governments were frantically trying to control every single speck of these materials and not being entirely successful. I put Equestria into a similar situation by accident when I arrived. I demonstrated to everypony that it is possible to go from a totally non-magical non-Pony to Alicorn in a few years. Part of that was Celestia’s mistake, she summoned somepony that could become her ideal mate and I did. Now we have to control this knowledge before it becomes a battle of the Alicorns and the rest of Equestria gets caught in the middle. That’s why I’m advertising Alicorn school, I want to draw as many of the potential high level magic users to me as possible so I can bring them up right and form a cadre of wizards that can control any unstable magic users that show up. We were damned lucky that everypony took my burnout to be the fate of any feral magic user. Now that I’m back, that won’t work any more.”

King Oak nods deliberately, “You seem to have put some thought into this. Have you considered that it might be our responsibility?”

Sighing, “King Oak, I know that it was the Deer’s responsibility but you are of the same generation as Celestia and in just as far over your heads right now. This world is growing and the only way you could maintain control would be to kill that growth and watch the younger races die of stagnation.”

King Oak is giving me his full attention now, “You’re scaring me, Prince John. You know we couldn’t do that so you’re saying that Equestria is already out of control.”

Yes! Smiling, I say, “You don’t know what my cutie means. It’s the reason the summoning chose me, my talent is understanding and organizing large systems. I’m already taking control of Equestria not as John the Prince but as The Royal Herd. That’s why I’m bringing in other races to share the responsibility. I would be extremely happy if the Deer would join me in this endeavor. By the way, just call me ‘John’.”

King Oak is looking stunned, “We will have to think about this. What would you expect from us?”

“I would like a public statement of understanding and co-operation and I would dearly love for you to teach at a school for high level magic users that I am building. You should also make frequent visits to tell me what I’ve missed or screwed up.”

King Oak is quiet for several minutes, then, “We could give you a conditional endorsement at your ceremony and keep talking about the details of the rest of it.”

Jackpot!!, “That is exactly what I want. I have already promised the Griffons the lead in the procession and can’t change that. Best would be for you to walk or ‘port in right on the end of my introduction. You can say anything you want about me and it will sound natural as a reply to my statement to Equestria. When you are done, you leave the same way you came in or walk out the door past my throne and stick around for the informal mixer. Agreeable?”

King Oak thinks for a few seconds, “We will walk in and out of the courtyard door near your Throne. How will we know when?”

I nod, “I will introduce myself then explain what happened to Celestia. Next I’ll speak of our plan and invite all to participate, giving the alliance with the Griffons and the defeat of the Dragons as examples. Finally I will ask all to come and talk in the future and out on the courtyard when I have finished welcoming the procession. When I say ‘out on the courtyard’, you come in. I’ll brief the Herd and Guard so there will be no alarm and the Griffons will wait for you.”

King Oak is smiling, “So this is an example of what you mean by ‘organizing’, John?”

I laugh, “You have no idea, Oak. It disturbs Twilight to no end that I know what I am going to eat for lunch weeks in advance.”

Oak laughs, “Rest easy, John. I am beginning to feel like we are going to get along.”

The Deer wink out one by one over the next few moments with Oak going last. I drift off thinking of how much fun it’s going to be telling Twilight about this over breakfast.