This! Is! EQUESTRIA!

by Alexponylover95

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Grubber, Death, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Princess Cadance
Length: 1077

Inspired by "A Trivial Pursuit" and a parody of the "This is Sparta!" scene from 300!

It is a time of darkness in the world, with the Storm King having invaded and conquered much of the known world... There are only a few more lands left, one which is the pony dominated land of Equestria, where Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends lead the kingdom. As the Storm King sets his sights on one of the last holdouts, he sends a messenger to Princess Twilight in order to have Equestria submit peacefully to him, which doesn't end all too well for the messenger...

Published 2019-08-20 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-20 23:30:01 UTC

This! Is! EQUESTRIA!

Author's Note

Hey everycreature!

So basically in the newest episode, A Trivial Pursuit, we get... Well a whole new level of Twilight-ing and when Twilight went: "This! Is! Trivia Trot!" I was immediately reminded of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAacE5ukzrs. So I was like... I really need to see a parody of that scene ponified! And well... I'm here to deliver that!

This! Is! EQUESTRIA!

It was a time of darkness and despair in the world... Through many years of the world's history, the Storm King, with the strongest and most efficient army, has conquered much of the lands, creating the largest empire which spanned for thousands of miles in any distance. Only a few lands so far remain unconquered by the greedy king, one of which is the next largest kingdom in the world, the land of Equestria, where ponies reign and live in peace and harmony, although for how much longer... Soon enough the Storm King set his sights on Equestria, however the Storm King knows about the resilience and pride of the ponies and how they are warriors, truly a great addition to his own army. So the Storm King has sent a messenger with several armed guards to the high up Equestrian capital of Canterlot in the mountains, hopeful to have Equestria submit peacefully to him...

"Now, what message do you bring?" Princess Twilight Sparkle, who was wearing her full armor on, tall and proud, addressing the much shorter hedgehog who was the messenger from the Storm King.

"Magic and Land." The messenger simply stated, with a bow of his head.

"You rode all the way from your kingdom for magic and land?" Twilight chuckled softly, the hedgehog nodding his head slightly to confirm.

"Do not be stupid hedgehog..." a slightly taller, pink alicorn, who was wearing more a dress than Twilight was, told the messenger. "You can't afford neither in Equestria."

"What makes this mare think she can speak among us?" The messenger demanded.

"Because only Equestrian mares can give birth to real warriors like Twilight here." The alicorn spit back.

"Let us trot to cool things down." Twilight told the messenger as she began trotting, with the messenger following, with some of the royal guards and the messenger's guards coming along.

"If you value your lives over your complete destruction, listen carefully Sparkle..." The messenger began speaking rapidly in a slight angry tone. "The Storm King conquers and rules over everything he sees, he leads an army and fleet so massive, the sky goes dark with our airships and uses up all the resources. All the king requires is this: an offering of magic and land, a piece of Equestria's submission to his will." The hedgehog spoke as the group stopped by one of the palace balconies, down below being the mountain side, a fall of hundreds of feet down below as Twilight thought of what the messenger told her as the hedgehog himself walked up to the armored princess.

"Well there's a little problem..." Twilight shrugged her shoulders. "Rumor has it that the Hippogriffs have turned you down, and if those winged magic less, oversized birds have found the nerve..."

"We must be reasonable..." One of Twilight's royal advisers, Fancy Pants, who was part of the group, now advised in order to settle this without violence.

"And we Equestrians!" Twilight raised her voice slightly to make her point known. "Have our pride and strength to consider."

"Choose your next words carefully Sparkle..." The messenger keeping a cool tone. "They may be your last as princess..." The messenger letting Twilight know he was giving her one last chance...

And so Twilight, turning her face from the Storm King's messenger, looked towards the group that came with her, her family and friends, along them, seeing their silent eyes as they all waited patiently for what Twilight would do, although they had a pretty good idea what she would decide as Twilight turned once again, to see the ponies in Canterlot, going about their business, before she looked at the lands down below, fertile green fields and small towns that would be gone if she submitted to the Storm King...

"Magic and land..." Twilight thought in her head as she reached with her hoof towards her armor, which held her spear... Wiping it out she pointed the sharp end of it at the hedgehog's neck, the messenger by the balcony railing as he raised up his arms, the royal guards following their princess' lead as they wiped out their spears and surprised the messenger's guards as the royal guards forced the messenger's guards to back up against the balcony railing...

"Mad mare... You're a Mad mare." The Messenger stated as he was shocked.

"Magic and land..." Twilight repeated. "Well you'll find plenty down there." Twilight keeping her spear up.

"No mare threatens a messenger!" The messenger shouted as he looked down below.

"You bring the crowns and riches of conquered lands to my home." Twilight angrily stated. "You insult my sister. You threaten my ponies with submission and slavery. I have chosen my words carefully messenger... Maybe you should have done the same..."

"This is blasphemy. This is madness!" The messenger shouted as Twilight lowered her spear and took a step back before turning her head around to look at her sister in law, Princess Cadance of the nearby Crystal Empire, one of the few other lands as well which have yet to fall to the Storm King's rule.

"Madness?" Twilight asked rhetorically. "This! Is! EQUESTRIA!" Twilight bellowed before she gave a mighty kick of her hoof against the hedgehog messenger, sending him crashing against and through the balcony railing as the messenger fell to his certain death down below.

As the hedgehog started his descend to death, the royal guards present with Twilight and holding the messenger's guards at spear point, followed up, spears stabbing into the grooms as they forced them to fall, bleeding, to their deaths down below. As that was happening, Twilight turned and began slowly trotting away while her guards continued the bloody work. It was settled, this was a clear act of declaring war against the Storm King, to show that despite his power, Equestria would never submit to the Storm King, they would fight him to preserve their freedom or all die defending their homeland. As the messenger and guards were gone, having fallen to who knows where, Twilight began making preparations for the coming war...