Color in a Colorless World
Thunder cracked through the rain-laden streets of Ponyville. It exploded loudly and violently, shaking windows and rattling door-frames all across the otherwise quiet town. When the last of the resounding boom had finally dissipated from everyone’s ears, all that could be heard was the pattering and tapping of rain on roofs, windows, and the stone streets upon which everything stood, sending a strange calm through the land once again. Just your typical thunderstorm.
You sat in a rather large recliner by your living-room window, a large book in your lap and a mug of piping hot coffee in your hand. When you would occasionally glance out of the glass that separated you from the wetness outside, you would gaze upon the occasional umbrella hurriedly moving through the otherwise empty streets, being pulled along quickly by its owner as they sought the dryness and comfort of their homes. A smile crept across your face as you witnessed one such umbrella sway unevenly in the air, being shared by a couple who lovingly pressed themselves against each other as they trotted slowly down the road and out of view, sometimes stealing a kiss or nuzzle from the other underneath their protective shield.
Although you smiled at the sight, a pang of sadness struck you as you did. You remembered seeing such sights back home. You remembered the corny movies or videos that played out exactly like the scene you had just witnessed, and you remembered always thinking the same thing about them every time you saw it happen. Now, you gazed upon the happy couple with loneliness in your heart, reminded of the place you would never again return to, the time you would never again live, the brother you would never again see, the mother you would never again embrace, and the father you would never again talk with.
You quickly shook your head and tore your eyes away from the ponies in the rain. You did not want your mind to linger too long on how much you had left behind, for that was never something that brought good things to pass. Your mind, it seemed, was a decidedly odd place: never before had you met so great an asset, friend, and refuge, but also never before had you fought a more dangerous, cunning, and terrible enemy. Your mind took you both to great heights and deep depths, building you up, and then promptly tearing you down. It was an object that swore allegiance only to itself, and it was one you knew you could not trust, yet one you did anyways.
You took a long sip of coffee as you turned the page of your book. A History of Equestria, it was called. How fascinating did you find it! Whenever you had arrived in Equestria, you found it to be quite different than any other land you had ever known or read about. For one, almost every single one of its residents was a pony of some incarnation. That maybe would have raised an eyebrow to you back home, but it was the fact that none of them really even looked like ponies, sounded like ponies, or even acted like ponies that took you seriously aback. Every single one of the equine-like creatures could speak coherently, and not only that, but could speak your language. They lived in homes very similar to yours, had built roads, bridges, castles, cities, and even a civilization that outstripped even the most powerful and prosperous ones of your history, and they all had quite a decidedly human-like culture and human-like customs. For all intents and purposes, the creatures who surrounded you were in every facet human, save for their physical attributes.
When you had appeared in this strange new land, you were quite afraid. A large, imposing, alabaster pony that possessed both the horn of a unicorn and wings of a pegasus had been the first to greet you. She had seemed a little surprised at your sudden arrival (nowhere near as surprised as you, mind you), but after examining you and concluding you were not hostile, had welcomed you in a way only a mother could to Equestria.
The process by which you came to adapt to your new and confusing life in this land of talking almost-horse looking creatures was long, difficult, and fraught with fear and uncertainty. But, eventually, you had settled in a town nearby to the seat of power in which the winged unicorn lived. The town itself was known as Ponyville, a name you found rather humorous (so far as you knew, no town existed on Earth that was named “Humanville”). Most of the locals of this town were enthusiastic about your arrival, gladly helping you move in, make friends, tour your new home, and more. Of course, there were also those who were not so pleased. You had been called names, had tomatoes or eggs thrown at you, even sometimes tripped, on more than one occasion. The alabaster pony, whose name you adored (Princess Celestia seemed such a fitting title for her), had been quick to ensure your protection through various means -- special guard detachments, special legislation pertinent to your status as an Equestrian citizen, and the promise of further assistance in any time where the aforementioned measures were not enough.
After the protective measures were introduced, you did find that the occurrences in which you were assaulted, either verbally or physically dropped dramatically. But, so too did the number of ponies who were willing to speak to you in general. It was not that they did not like you anymore, they very much did; they were simply terrified that they would do something to upset the Princess, or the guards that accompanied you everywhere (when you thought about it, you might be hesitant to speak in the manner that friends might to a person that had a pair of United States Navy SEALs or Secret Service members flanking them at all times). You did not blame them for it, but it was, nevertheless, something that served to initiate and fuel a slightly depressive state.
Oh how you had wanted a true friend! Many ponies in Ponyville had, indeed, called themselves your friend, and you did call yourself their friend. But many of these friends of yours faced the issue mentioned previously: they were simply too afraid to attempt to court your friendship further.
Then there was Rainbow Dash. She was a rather pretty looking pegasus of quite lean and muscular stature, who donned a cyan coat and a brilliant mane of every color of the rainbow. This mare was fearless. Well, almost, anyways, but you would have a decidedly difficult time frightening her. While most other ponies had shied away at the presence of the guards that would accompany you wherever you went at any time, Rainbow Dash did not. She was actually quite enthusiastic about it, stating that she could “Use it as a chance to strut her stuff in front of not only an exotic creature from another land, but also members of the Royal Guard themselves. A light chuckle had escaped your lips when she said that.
It did not take long for a friendship to form between you. Although you were introverted by nature, you had trained yourself for years to try and be more social and outgoing, and although you were not always perfect at it (not by any stretch of the imagination), you were certainly much better at it than you ever imagined you would be. Rainbow did not mind this at all, and she did not hesitate to strike up conversation with you or take you on in “friendly” competitions of two-person sports. She beat you every single time in those.
Regardless, however, it was fun. Every so often, she would knock on your door and invite you to come with her to the park to play the pony equivalent of tennis or basketball, and other times when the weather did not cooperate, she would hang out with you right where you were. The guards that had been assigned to your protection were nervous at first when she had first asked if you wanted to wrestle (Rainbow was known as something of a lethal force in that department), but both they and Rainbow quickly found that you were actually quite difficult to harm. You and her would wrestle or play-fight for hours, eventually collapsing on top of one another drenched in sweat. The room would always smell terrible after that, but neither of you seemed to mind.
Her visits became more frequent as time went on, and it was not long at all before you were introduced to her friends. They could not have been a more different bunch, but somehow, they fit together more perfectly than the pieces of a puzzle. They each complimented each other’s strengths and covered each other’s flaws, forming a unity between them that you thought would stand the test of time.
Twilight Sparkle was the most inquisitive of the bunch, always asking you questions about where you were from. She had eagerly snatched a notebook and pen out of seemingly nowhere when you had talked briefly about your world’s history, often stopping you to ask questions or finish a line of notes that were particularly long.
Applejack had a kick out of your descriptions of farm life back home, laughing especially hard at the mention of advanced machinery.
Rarity had examined your body and clothing very, very closely, which made you uncomfortable at first, but she quickly backed off when you had explained to her humanities taboos on close contact upon first meeting. Her eyes and voice were gorgeous, and the way she spoke of fashion made you actually slightly interested in it, no matter how dull and drab it may have been to you back home.
Fluttershy was definitely the most timid of the group; she had practically tried to hide behind her vast pink mane when you had first shook her hoof (it was odd to you how and why ponies did that). Even so, she warmed up rather quickly to you, and although she spoke with a soft and demure voice at nearly any given time, she was actually quite sweet.
Pinkie Pie had to be, without a doubt, however, the most outgoing and excitable of the group. She had practically tackled you when she had first met you, hugging you almost ferociously while going on about you two were going to become the best of friends forever and ever and ever. Your guards had flinched a little when that happened to you, but they knew of Pinkie reasonably well, and knew of her tendencies.
Of all of the ponies, however, the one you had the largest connection with was Rainbow Dash. You did not even know why, for a little bit. Why did you not align more with Twilight Sparkle? She was studious, responsible, extremely intelligent, and overall, displayed nearly every quality in vast amounts of what you looked for in a friend. Or, perhaps, Applejack? She reminded you most of your home, and was unendingly honest, capable, willing to help, and dependable. Or even Rarity? Fluttershy? Pinkie?
No. There was something about Rainbow Dash that drew you to her. The way she paid attention to every word you said. The way she would brush up against you when you were walking together in a subtle display of affection. The way she would fly gracefully through the skies, removing cloud after cloud, and then coming down to you to ask if you had enjoyed the show. The way she would…
There was a knock at your door. Strange, really, considering the immense thunderstorm.
You rose from your chair, setting your coffee delicately upon a nearby coaster and saving your place in your book. With a few ginger steps, you were at your entryway. When you opened it, you were met by a very familiar face. “Oh, hey Rainbow!” You greeted her. “How are you? Here, come in! Come in!”
“Just dandy!” She replied as she quickly rushed in at your invitation, grabbing the towel you had set upon your coat rack for times like this when she would visit in the rain. “Gotta say, though, this thunderstorm made getting here a little tricky.”
“Why did you come at all?” You half joked. “That’s got to be dangerous, flying through a storm like that!”
“Meh,” she shrugged as she finished drying her mane. “Not quite as much as you might think.”
“Oh, and I suppose pegasi are resistant to electricity?” You responded, chuckling a little as you did.
“Pegasi are resistant to death, my friend. You though? Not so much,” she stuck her tongue out at you as she folded the towel back up and placed it once again in the spot it had been.
“Sure, Rainbow,” you laughed heartily. “Sure. So what’s up?”
The pegasus froze a little at your question before coughing nonchalantly. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. See how things were.”
“Ah, well you are welcome at any time! Here, can I offer you any coffee? Perhaps a slice of cake?” You had read that in German-speaking countries in your world, it actually was not unusual for people to keep a cake handy in the event of visitors, a practice you had decided to pick up while you were here.
“No thanks,” she politely declined before hopping up onto the couch next to your recliner. “Whatcha readin’?”
“A History of Equestria,” you said in a fake announcer voice as you placed your hands humorously on your hips.
“Oh my gosh, stop,” she placed a hoof on her face in mock embarrassment, but you could hear her giggling as she did so. Rainbow was actually, much to your surprise, quite an avid reader.
“Alright, alright…” you faked disappointment before perking right back up and sitting next to her.
You loved it when you two did this. Spoke lightly and humorously, metaphorically jabbing each other in the ribs with every statement. It was an activity you had never gotten to partake in back home, and you had no idea if that was because you did not have true friends or that the friends you had had were just more reserved. It was probably the latter, but it still made you quite happy that you had Rainbow Dash now.
It made you kind of guilty, actually.
In all honesty, what had you contributed to your relationship? Perhaps a few laughs? Someone to wrestle with? What had you done to sustain it?
Your thoughts suddenly began to wrestle you. They belittled your life, your actions, and your confidence as you sat carefully beside the Rainbow-maned pegasus.
You do not deserve her!
You’re right, but I am still lucky to have her!
Lucky, huh? I suppose your family “back home” meant nothing to you?
No! Of course they meant a lot to me! But that does not mean I cannot form relationships here!
Relationships that you are doing nothing to help!
That’s not true!
Really, what have you done to further her life? To make her better? You’ve only taken from her and given nothing in return!
Liar!
Call me that all you like, but you know it’s true. You are worthless, you are terrible, you are-
“Anon?” Rainbow’s voice sounded concerned.
“Y-yes?” You fumbled over your response for a moment.
“What’s wrong?” She spoke the phrase -- that which crumbles any defense a person can realistically construct in their minds.
“Hmm?” You tried desperately to refrain from crying. Never had you wanted to display anything but complete control over yourself and your emotions in front of her.
“Don’t ‘hmm’ me now. Something’s wrong,” she spoke with an authority you would only have ascribed to one of the Princesses themselves. And yet, it was not harsh authority; this was loving, caring, and concerned, the kind that everyone imagines in a true leader, and also the kind most wish for in a partner.
“Yes… y-you are correct,” your voice cracked slightly as you desperately fought back tears. Memories of home came flooding back to you at the same time as your idea of not having built your friendship with the creature in front of you.
“Would you be willing to tell me?” Rainbow Dash scooted closer to you, pressing her shoulder against yours as she held your gaze with her magenta eyes. “I promise I will not tell anyone else.”
“Well… I guess I’m just feeling a little guilty right now,” you stated. It was the truth, but it still did not tell Rainbow what she was seeking from you.
“About…?” Rainbow looked inquisitively at you, trying to read your thoughts as your mind churned threateningly inside your skull.
“Well… about us,” you bit your lip after you had spoken, the first tear falling from your eyes.
“You feel guilty about us?” Rainbow sounded surprised. “What have I done? Was it something I said? Did I wrestle you too hard one time? Am I too competitive? Oh, Celestia…”
Her response took you greatly by surprise. “Rainbow… no! No, no not anything like that! You’ve done nothing wrong!” You quickly reassured her, placing a hand affectionately on her other shoulder. “I feel guilty, not upset!”
“Then… what? Why?” A tear dropped from Rainbow’s eye as well as she looked back up at you.
“I guess.. I just… feel like I have not done enough for you in our relationship,” you finally let it out, a sigh semi-escaping from you as you did.
A change washed through Rainbow Dash completely as you spoke those words. No longer did tears fall from her eyes, and no longer did her posture slacken from sadness. She sat upright and resolutely, and looked you straight in the eyes once again.
“Oh no. No no no,” she spoke with a tone that was almost scary. “I know what’s happening here.” You were about to ask what, but she gently put a hood over your mouth, silencing you. “Anon... “ she took a deep breath. “There is a voice inside your head that is out to get you. It hates you with every fiber of its being. It wants you to feel terrible, worthless, and like nothing significant at all. How do I know something like that? Because if you feel like you are not doing enough in a relationship where you have provided a new light to my life, a new shoulder for me to rest on, a new… creature I can trust completely and utterly, a new way for me to view things, a new… a new friend for me to take pride in and cherish… then you have another thing coming.”
You were stunned. “Rainbow, I…”
She placed her hoof over your mouth again. “Anon… you are more worthful than you will ever know to me. You make my life complete, and you provide me with so, so much. Remember the time you took us to that fancy restaurant in Canterlot and then paid the bill in its entirety, even though I had ordered something waaaaay more expensive than you? Or perhaps the time I came down with hay fever, and you spent an entire week doing nothing but sitting beside me and reading to me, occasionally bringing me food and water when I asked for it? Anon… if there’s anyone who should feel like they haven’t contributed, it’s me!”
“Oh my… Rainbow… I…” You decided to shut up with the words for the moment and hug her. You wrapped your arms tightly around her soft coat, making sure to be gentle around her wings. She nuzzled your neck as she returned the gesture, clinging tightly to your form as you held hers.
“Never… never think of yourself as too little… alright?” She whispered into your ear. “I will always be here for you. Always. Because love is not about what we do for one another. That’s an after-effect. Love is about what we choose to do, and is not tied to anything else. We choose to love, Anon. When I met you that very first day with those menacing guards flanking you on either side, I made the choice then and there to love you forever, even if you just wanted it to be as friends. The way you speak, the way you move, the way you act, the way you… are you, all of it is perfect to me.”
With a shaky but relieved sigh, you buried your face into her, and let everything out. The fear, the regret, the homesickness, and the guilt. All of it was washed away in a river of tears that exited your eyes, never to return.
Because you had found that which you had searched for your entire life. You had found color… color, in a colorless world.
“Thank you, Rainbow,” you sniffled. “Thank you.”
“Hey now, don’t be getting all soft on me,” Rainbow’s playful and faux “tough guy” attitude returning.
You laughed as you pressed your forehead to hers, savoring the moment you two had shared.
“Hey, Anon, I’ve got a quick question for ya,” Rainbow said matter-of-factly.
“Oh?” You looked back up at her with a smile through your tear-stained eyes.
She flexed her muscles. “How about a good-old outside wrestling match?”
“Outside?” You questioned, visibly confused. “But it’s pouring out there, not to mention the lightning!”
“Really?” She asked as she motioned toward the window with her head. You turned your attention toward the glass pane, and saw a most wonderful sight. The clouds had cleared and the rain had ceased, and the sun was shining high in the sky. There was something even more stunning than that, however, that immediately caught you eye: a rainbow, large, wide, and radiant, towered over the skyline, its perfect colors smiling down at you.
“So how about it?” She asked again.
“You’re on!”
