Big Dick Energy
Admiral Biscuit

Morning comes, as it does every day whether you like it or not. You push back the covers and shuffle zombie-like into the bathroom, avoiding looking into the mirror. What’s the point? You know you look like death warmed over; you do at the beginning of every day.

From downstairs, idle breakfast chatter and the smell of fresh-brewed coffee. They don’t have bacon, which is a shame. That would help motivate you.

Everypony is bright and chipper, except for you. You look like something the cat would drag out.

There’s already a cup of coffee at your place, and you take a sniff to let it knock loose some of the cobwebs before taking a sip.

“Good morning, Alex!” Apple Bloom says.

“Morning, Apple Bloom,” you reply. “Morning, everypony else.” They’re all bright and chipper, despite already having done chores this morning. It’s not fair.

It doesn’t help that Big Mac’s explanation of how he’s got so much energy is still on your mind, and like it or not, you’re viewing the breakfast table in a new light. One that you wish you weren’t even considering, and you try your best to focus on the breakfast waffles and nothing else.

By the time Applejack assigns the chores, you’ve mostly got Big Mac’s big dick energy off your mind. It comes back in the shower, naturally, and you concentrate on getting yourself clean, both in body and in mind.

You manage to accomplish one of those.

🍎🍎🍎

Lunch is in the fields, which is not uncommon. It’s also largely apple-based, which is also not uncommon.

She does provide you with a few slices of bread, in lieu of the pasture grasses she’s snacking on.

You don’t want to ask but you can’t help yourself. “How come you’ve got so much energy when I don’t?”

“Oh, well.” A faint tinge of color comes to her cheeks. “It’s big dick energy.”

You nearly choke on your ginger beer. In the back of your mind, you were somewhat anticipating that answer, but to hear her say it out loud. . . .

“But you . . . you’re a mare.”

“Alex, the thing you’ve got to understand about big dick energy is that it isn’t just about a dick.” She leans forwards on her seat, moving into lecture mode. “It’s about confidence. It’s about knowing who you are.” She taps your chest with a hoof. “It’s about knowing what you can do. It’s not cocky or braggy--Rainbow Dash thinks she’s got big dick energy but most of the time she doesn’t. Only when she stops thinking about impressing everypony else and just gets on with flying.”

“Oh, I see.” You drain the rest of your bottle and set it down. “So it’s not about the dick, then.”

“Well.” Applejack shifts her hind legs, revealing the full monty. “Not entirely, no, but if you ain’t packing. . . .”

Author's Note

Would you like to know more about big dick energy? Click HERE! (link is SFW)

Just a silly idea I had, and a way to warm up for the one-hour speedwriting thingy that’ll probably have started by the time this percolates through the approval process.