Veggie Mesh

by TheKMExperience

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Rarity (EqG), Button Mash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Equestria Girls, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2055

As seen on TV!

Button Mash is chosen to promote a brand new vegetable drink on his first commercial appearance. The inevitable downside:

It's horrible....

Published 2019-08-23 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-23 02:50:02 UTC

I.......Like it?

[Canterlot High Cafeteria...]

"I-I'm not sure if I can do this, Sweetie."

"Come on, Button. You need to relax, you're going to be JUST fine." Sweetie Belle reassures. "You'll do great, right girls?"

"I think he's gonna flop." Scootaloo says.

"Scoots!" AppleBloom hisses. "Flop at what, exactly?"

"It's just a small part I got in a commercial, but I don't know if I have the skill or the technique to pull it off." Button sighs.

"Well, what do you play?"

"A nerd."

"Button........you ARE a nerd."

"Yeah, but in the commercial, I have to make drinks."

"Dude, you make drinks all the time. You help Granny Smith out in the kitchen twice a week."

"Great, Scootaloo. Now you've made me nervous about working here too."

"Look, maybe it would help you to rehearse your lines with us." AppleBloom suggests.

"I only got one, here."

With a deep breath, the young gamer pulls out his script and clears his throat.

"I like it."

".......that it?"

"Yeah, I was kind of surprised when I got the part. Said they wanted someone with a fresh teen face. I don't know why they chose me."

"Hey, you're perfect for it." Sweetie Belle states proudly.

"Gee, you think so?

"Trust me."

"Sweetie Belle.......would you come on down to the shoot with me and keep telling me that?"

"Sure, Button, why not?"

"Can I go, too?" Scootaloo asks eagerly. "I never saw a commercial be shot or anything like that."

"Yeah, me neither." AB says.

"I don't know, if you all come down there with me, it's going to look like I'm some big, snobby star with an entourage."

"Point taken, we'll just stay here."

"No, no. I LIKE the idea." Button adds. "You all could be my people."

The school bell rings as the pumped 'actor' discusses their agreements.

"I got another idea. We'll all stop at the mall and we'll pick up satin jackets and matching sunglasses."

Button fashions his trusty pixelated glasses and struts towards the cafeteria doors with the Crusaders herded behind him before stopping at a floor mat. "The door's not just gonna open itself."

"Don't push it." Scootaloo grunts.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

[At the shoot...]

"Woah, this is SPECTACULAR!" Sweetie exclaims.

"Yep. The magic of the movies, huh, Sweetie Belle?" AB says.

"No, the magic of the DOUGHNUT table. Look at this, got your glazed, you got your chocolate, you got your buttermilk."

Soon, Button steps on set wearing a long lab coat and comically large glasses.

"So, h-how do I look?" he stutters.

"You look great and......you got, like, junk all over your face." Scootaloo says.

"Oh, it's pancake." he states.

"Woah, is there a steam table around here I'm missing?!"

"No, no. Pancake is the make-up they use in show business. It's real thick and real heavy and it covers every flaw."

"Oh, yeah. Rarity uses that for primer."

"TALENT ON THE SET, PLEASE!"

"Ah, that's me. Gotta go."

Button hurries up on stage surrounded by beakers, test tubes and tons of other science babble. On a counter, he spots a cup of a thick, dark green liquid next to a pitcher of the stuff.

"Oh, hey, so this must be Veggie Mesh. Should I taste this?"

"No, don't drink that." the director advises. "We sprayed it with high-gloss latex so it'll look better under the lights, we do that with all the food we're shooting. Hey, there's supposed to be a bowl of broccoli around here."

"Mm, AppleBloom, you gotta get Granny Smith to cook broccoli like this." Sweetie Belle moans as a crew member swipes the bowl away. "They slide right down, it's GREAT."

"Alright, Mutton-"

"It's Button."

"This is your close-up. The lady down there's gonna feed you your cue. Just look RIGHT in the camera and say 'I like it'."

"I like it."

"Not yet, son."

"No, I mean, I like your direction. Very to the point."

"Let's go. Veggie Mesh scientist close-up, take one. And......ACTION."

"So, what do you think of Veggie Mesh?" the lady says.

Button suddenly bursts into laughter before saying a single word.

"Cut."

"Scootaloo made a goofy face." the boy snickers.

"I did not, it's my normal expression." she states.

"Button, could we have your friend wait out in the hallway?"

"I didn't DO anything, though." she groans, sneaking a box of doughnuts as she stomps toward the exit.

"Well, quit looking so GOOFY." AB giggles.

"Alright, take TWO."

Scootaloo returns and takes another box with her. "If you insist."

"ACTION."

"So what do you think of Veggie Mesh?"

AppleBloom then erupts into hysterical laughter, making Button do the same.

"Cut."

"I'm sorry." she laughs. "I'll go join my goofy friend."

As she heads off, she stops and listens by the open door. "What's that? Oh, sure."

She picks up a box of doughnuts and finally steps out.

"Once again, from the top......ACTION."

"So what do you think of Veggie Mesh?"

Button looks at Sweetie Belle, who stares back with a warm smile. The nerd forms a grin from ear to ear and turns toward the camera.

"I LIKE it."

"Cut! Print! That's it, let's get outta here."

The entire filming crew gathers there things and exit the room, leaving the two teens alone. Button hops off the set and approaches the suddenly giddy Crusader.

"H-Hey, Sweetie Belle, thanks for coming down here for support. It really means alot-"

"Pffffft, HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"What is it, now?"

Sweetie points at his costume, busting a gut. Taking in how silly he looked, Button soon laughs along with her as they make their way out of the studio.

[A few days later...]

"Button, when is this commercial of yours coming on again? It's taking FOREVER."

"It's coming right up, Scoots. Should be on right about.........NOW, it's starting!"

Everyone in the room bundle up and stare at the large television as the young boy appears onscreen in his geeky outfit, earning a few stifled laughs.

"New Veggie Mesh. Available in regular and chunky." the announcer starts.

"Ooh, here it comes." Button squees.

"So, what do you think of Veggie Mesh?"

"I LIKE it."

The entire cafeteria give a round of applause and congratulates the happy gamer all around. The celebration cools down as Principal Celestia brings the semi-famous student aside.

"Wonderful performance, Button." she applauds. "Just for the occasion, I took the liberty of ordering 23 cases of Veggie Mesh. We're the first ones in town to have it and, Button, first taste goes to you."

AppleBloom slides a fresh cup of the healthy drink to the ecstatic boy, who holds his beverage up in triumph.

"Wow, my first Veggie Mesh!"

With a daring grin, Button takes a huge swig from the cup. After a moment of silence, a waterfall of the thick liquid leaks from his mouth and splats on the floor.

"Oh, it's disgusting!" he gags, grabbing a nearby towel and wiping every inch of his face.

"Button, look, you're on channel 7!" Scootaloo says, flipping through channels.

"I LIKE it."

"I don't like it, I HATE it!"

The sly Crusader rewinds the footage.

"I LIKE it."

"Shut up, me!"

"I LIKE it."

"You HATE it, you're a liar! A filthy, rotten liar!"

"I LIKE it. I LIKE it. I LIKE it."

"Somebody make him STOP!"

"I LIKE it."

Button covers his ears and frantically dashes out of the cafeteria screaming, to everyone's shock.

[After school.....]

"I can't believe I was just on 14 channels saying I like this stuff when I really HATE it."

"Actually, 15 channels." Sweetie Belle cringes. "Everybody always forgets Spyke TV."

"Come on, Button. It can't be THAT bad." AB says. "Here, lemme take a look at the ingredients: water, broccoli, cauliflower and KALE."

"Well, maybe it just SOUNDS bad in black and white." Scootaloo shrugs, pouring herself a cup and sampling it.

"So....?"

".........kale was not a good idea." she muffles.

"Oh, Button, I forgot here. This came for ya, looks like something from the commercial company, probably a paycheck."

"Eh, I can't cash that, I can't even OPEN it. That'd be like paying me for lying. My mother always told me that lying is the worst of the seven deadly sins."

"W-Wait, lying is one of the seven deadly sins?" Scootaloo says.

"Of course there is." Sweetie Belle states. "You got Sloth, Greed.......Bashful..."

"That's the seven deadly DWARVES."

"It's game over for me, girls. Where's a sweater of solitude when you need it?!"

A sparkly, baby blue sweater suddenly engulfs the embarrassed boy.

"There, darling. Problem solved."

"I don't think that worked, Rarity."

Button fights his way out of the tight sweater and clumsily falls before fellow students Twilight and Rarity.

"It'll work wonders, Twilight. I assure you. Am I right?"

"Um.......it's a little itchy." Button grunts.

"But FASHIONABLE!"

"There's a much better way around your dilemma." Twilight states.

"Which would be......?"

"With HYPNOSIS."

"Hypnosis? Is that even still a thing?"

"Of course it is, I've dabbled a bit in it. As a joke, I hypnotized Rarity into removing her shoes when anyone mentioned brie cheese."

"Don't be silly, Twilight. You did no such thing." the fashionista scoffs, putting one of her boots on the table. "Oh, ha ha, VERY funny."

"I-I don't know if hypnotism would work on me, Twilight. I'm pretty strong willed." Button states.

"Then what's Rarity, brie cheese?" Scootaloo asks.

Rarity puts her other boot on the table. "Stop that!"

"It'll work, Button. I guarantee, almost ANYONE could do it, even Spike.

"Oh..........alright, let's do this."

"Hey, Rarity." Spike snickers. "Is that a TAMBOURINE behind you?"

"A tambourine? What an odd thing to ask." she says, obliviously unbuttoning her shirt before noticing her actions and shielding herself. "Oh, you are in ALOT of trouble, mister!"

[One mind-bending session later...]

"Boy, I feel like I've been asleep for 100 YEARS. Did it work, Twilight?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out." the egghead says. "Girls, set us up."

The Crusaders carry in a box of Veggie Mesh as Rarity pours Button a cup.

"So, what do you think of Veggie Mesh?" Sweetie Belle asks.

Scared out of his game-filled mind, Button hesitantly takes a timid sip out of the glass.

"I...........I like it. I-I actually like it, I LOVE it! Heh, I'm no longer a liar!"

The Crusaders high five as the satisfied nerd savors the drink with pride.

"Hypnosis, always works." Twilight says proudly.

"Mmm, you could really taste the kale." Button hums. "You know what this means? Now that I'm not a liar anymore, I can take this envelope, cash that check at the bank and just spend it all on Veggie Mesh!"

"Ooh, you really did a number on him, Twilight." Rarity sighs.

"Button's highly suggestible. I had the mission accomplished in five minutes."

"You had the poor thing under for TWO hours. What were you doing the rest of the time?"

"Just snooping." Scootaloo adds smugly. "We'll.......talk later."

"Guys, I.....I-I don't understand this. This isn't a check, it's a letter from the ad agency."

"What's it say?" AB says.

"Well, it says that due to lack of consumer interest, they're discontinuing the product!"

"Guess nobody liked it."

"How could they NOT like it? It's broccoli, cauliflower and KALE! Has everyone gone MAD?"

"Button, pal, it's not that great, okay?"

"Zip it, Scoots. Don't talk bad about Veggie Mesh."

"Nice work, Dr. Frankenstein." Spike utters.

"If they're gonna stop making it, how am I going to get it? I NEED my Veggie Mesh!" the desperate teen whines, digging through the box of juice. "This is all there is? This isn't even going to last me through the NIGHT!"

"U-Uh, Button? Let's go back and-"

"I know, I can take this to a lab and have it analyzed. I can make my own, I got a blender. Heck, I'll move to a FARM and grow my own kale!"

"Button, look at the watch."

"Get that watch outta my face, Twily, I got crops to plant!"

"But you NEED my help!"

"I don't need your help, all I need is 3 tons of topsoil and a big yellow tractor!"

"Tractor?" Rarity says before singing 'Smile' by Pinkie Pie and flapping around like a chicken.

"Rarity, snap out of it and watch the watch!"

"That escalated quickly." Spike sighs.

THE END