It was a day like any other, birds were doing their business on statues, bugs were flying into my windshield, and my backers were being unreasonable with their expectations of me, big surprise... Just another average day, y’know?
I was driving to work when I noticed one of the girls that I worked with, I think her name was Stacy? Stella? Something like that. She was getting harassed by some of the local gangster wannabes. You know the type, rich white kids, loose pants, bling, lots of swearing, pervy behavior, and those signature spray-on tans.
I sighed in resignation, slowing down and turning into the parking lot across the street, parking facing the exit. I walked across the street to them, shouting, “Hey, you need a hand?” to the girl.
The girl, who upon getting a glimpse of her name tag was actually named Stacy, score one for memory, smiled thankfully at my approach, sidling away from the guys and towards me. “Nah, these guys were just leaving, right?” she said, looking pointedly at the blonde guy that looked like he spent too much time in the gym. From the way the others were gathered around, he seemed to be their leader.
The leader of this wannabe tough guy group smirked at me, his spray on tan making him look like an orange. I barely kept down my urge to laugh as he said, “So, he your man? Gotta say, I figured you’d go for a real man, like me.”
I fought the urge to laugh even harder as his pants fell down around his ankles. Damn, this guy was pitiful, why do these other guys here even follow him? I sighed as I looked him in the eyes, “Listen, you glorified orange, if you wanna get girls? Drop the spray on, get some decently fitting clothes, and treat them like they are actual people, not tits and ass on legs.”
The wannabe tough guy looked pissed at this, pulling what looked like a gun from his pocket and shooting me in the shoulder. I realized my mistake too late, as this is America, and any idiot with the right amount of cash can pack heat. I grunted in pain as my legs give out under me from the shock, slumping to the ground as Stacy screamed before she was grabbed by the chumps working for the glorified oompa loompa. I looked at the annoying orange and started shouting for the cops at the top of my lungs, only for one of his goons that had moved behind me to knock me out.
It was shortly after I came to that I found myself sitting in a void with nothing in it. A man, or at least I assume it was a man, appeared before me in a flash of fire. He was in head to toe plate armor, with a helm in the design of a human skull, with the back of the head seemingly warped from an unseen heat into something analogous to the shape of a crown, the metal appearing to be warped from rust, overuse and that same unseen heat. Below that there was a more or less standardised full medium shoulder plate and greaves. His gauntlets and boots were light enough to walk in, thick enough to take several blows and also seemed warped, having seen heavy use.
The strange metal plate and chainmail on his torso was covered by a raggedy dark grey cloak that went down as far as the elbows, and a bit further down along the back, holes riddling it throughout. The ends flayed out like sad, decrepit streamers, dancing in an unseen wind. It went up, covering and wrapped around the neck area, and there was something about it that was similar to a sort of skirt, going below the knees. One side went further down than the other, and the ends seeming to be almost like a pale fur of an unknown animal. Several belts were at the waist, mostly chains and loop hooks.
In his right hand was a weapon about the length of a longsword, maybe a bit longer, but seemed to be more similar to a dueling lance due to the spiral-like blades, though it was too small to be so. The blade at the pommel was shorter, half the size of the longer one, and the hand guards were circular baskets, as if made for a rapier or cutlass rather than a lance.
Within the cracks, crevices, and visible empty spaces in the armor, a dark aura wafted off gently, yet menacingly, similar in appearance to the cold night sky. Flecks of small dying cinders and embers jumped out and faded away as they floated gently away on an unseen breeze. The ‘sword’ was the same, the space between the twin spirals seeming to generate the malevolent aura in a similar way to the armor. It was like a blazing inferno being contained by an unseen force, as if he was willing it into containment.
“Greetings, Sir Henry. Do you wish to receive a gift? Your honor in death has prompted thy revival with a boon.” he said in a grating voice, seemingly long unused.
I frowned, unsure of how this guy, if it was a he, knew my name. “Umm… How the hell do you know me? Where am I, anyway? Wait…” As I spoke, my memory of what happened came flooding back to me, “What the fuck happened to Stacy! Did she get away all right?!”
He nodded grimly. “Yes, good sir. Thy calls for help alerted a nearby police officer, who called in reinforcements and made an arrest shortly after they… well...eliminated you.”
I felt the blood leave my face. “W-wait… I’m dead?! Jesus fucking christ on a cracker! Fucking god damn it, I didn’t even get to delete my search history!”
He chuckled at my, admittedly comedic, freak-out before speaking again. “You know… We do have the power to resurrect thee, and to do it with quite the boon, a new world, great powers… We are being quite generous with you in all honesty.”
I frowned and raised an eyebrow in thought for a moment, weighing my options, then grunted in resignation. “Fine, Death doesn’t exactly sound that tempting right now...”
He smiled and held out a hand, an orb of pure darkness and an orb of seething flame flying into my chest at high speed. “We anticipated thy answer.” I staggered, and then IT hit me.
I fought back the urge to scream from the pain as I felt my very nature change from a living, breathing thing to something cold and dead. I looked to my hands as I felt the blood in my veins freeze before disappearing entirely, and I saw myself become enveloped in what looked like the Firelink armor from Dark Souls 3, but… it was made from materials from Skyrim instead, the metal being replaced with stalhrim, and the cloth was much less ragged and seemed to be laced with some odd magic. I looked to my hands to see eight rings, four of them I recognized as being modified versions of my set from Dark Souls, specifically the Witch’s Ring, Great Swamp Ring, Ring of Favor plus three, and Fire Bite Ring. These four rings were made from stalhrim, and seemed to make me feel stronger in a mystical sort of way…
I felt something heavy on my back, and reached back, pulling out what looked like the Harald curved greatsword, but made from a combination of dragons bone for the base, and stalhrim for the blade, all with chains in the blade acting as the form giving substance within the ice, all in all, the weapon appeared to be quite deadly. I looked to my other arm as another weight suddenly appeared, and I saw a Shield of Want, also made from stalhrim. I looked to the weird armored guy and frowned “What’s with all the stalhrim?”
He chuckled, and in his guttural voice, said, “With your new nature as a vampire lord, we doubted that the Firelink armor would be very wise, especially what with its connection to fire. So we may have taken the liberty to re-attune thy armor to something colder. Thy power is great, child of Cold Harbor, thy soul is of dragon, and thy body is one of great power, far superior to that of the average mortal in power, the combining of the undead curse of one world, and the ascended nature of the Vampire lords of another… thy body shall neither rot nor decay, no matter how far thy hollowing goes, nor shall thy mind, and thy thirst for blood shall be as non existent as the undead hunger for food. Thy weakness in the sun will be negligible, no more than a mild irritant.” He chuckled, “Verily, we have outdone ourselves with this one.”
I nodded slowly. “So… since fire is a no, what about pyromancy? Was that removed?” I was curious, since so far, the weapons and abilities seemed to be based off my Skyrim and Dark Souls characters.
The weird armored guy shook his head, “Fear not, child, thy pyromancy was altered instead of undone, thy power over flame hath been reversed, thus thy pyromancy art is now cryomancy.”
I nodded dumbly again, “And… my catalyst?”
The armored guy nodded and gestured to my sword, “I hath fused thy cryomancy catalyst with thine sword, now all thy must do is will the spell and point thy sword at thy foe. ”
The armored guy nodded and gestured to my right, “I hath invited one such of thy comrades to join thee in this new realm. He hath agreed to join thee, and shall awaken from his slumber in his new body.”
I nodded before I looked around absently, noting that there was nothing visible, just inky blackness. “Sooo...where am I going, weird armored guy?” I asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
He snorted, a gout of cinder filled ashes coming out of the nostrils in the skull, “I am the Huntsman, both by name and by title. And thy destination is a world known as Equestria.”
I nodded and looked to the Huntsman as the darkness seemed to...deepen, somehow. “What’s going on?”
The Huntsman smiled. “Thou art transitioning to thy new home, thy friend shall be right beside thee upon thy arrival, in an underground ruin beneath white tail woods. It will be up to the two of thee to escape. Good fortune follow thee.”
I frowned as I found myself suddenly in a very cramped coffin made of what looked like steel and obsidian… “Hello? Anybody out there? ...Jerry if your being quiet to be a dick, it’s not funny!”
"...the fucks Jerry?" A voice said.
I silently praised god and the huntsman for not being stuck with Jerry from work, guy totally sucked. “Boris? That you dude? Thank god you aren’t Jerry, I’d hate being stuck around him for the foreseeable future!”
"Again, the fucks Jerry?" My friend said as he came into view after removing the lid from my coffin, which for some reason took two people to open. He looked like someone that could break people with his pinkies and be unfazed.
I sighed. “Guy from work, real dick… anyway, you see any way out? Like, a staircase, or a door?”
"It's pitch black here for me dude. I only found you by following your voice." He deadpanned. I now noticed how he wasn't really looking at me, but near where he thought I was.
“... Wow, already not regretting being an undead freak of nature, that is… that is kinda ironic, as I was expecting the exact opposite.”
"If you try to leave a vamp-hickey on me I'm calling you gay."
I snorted at the effort not to laugh. “I am good, now let’s get outta here, I want to meet Twilight and give her a quesadilla on a ladybug plate.”
"...what?" The giant of a man said, utterly confused.
I grabbed his hand and walked to what looked like stairs up, only to find the way blocked by a large rock. I frowned and rubbed my chin before drawing my sword and pressing its tip against the rock and focusing until the rock was frozen solid, I then easily shattered the rock and found a sunny forest on the other side… yup, mildly annoying to be in the sun, feels like listening to Jerry talk about his mom for the second time in five minutes… cripes…
I then looked around to find that we were right outside ponyville, at what I assumed to be sometime in season 1-3, as the library was still standing proud. I looked to Boris and smirked. “Hey, you wanna follow me to greet the ponies?”
"Got nothing better to do. I'd suggest making sure you aren't mr glowy eyes though." Boris said, voice dripping with dry wit.
I smirked as my eyes immediately stopped taking in all the light on overdrive, and their ‘glow’ stopped. I then walked with him toward the library, only for a certain Cyan mare to swish on by.
She immediately came back and I got a good look at her as I frowned, her being anthropomorphic with multi hue blue camo jacket and red undershirt on, as well as blue jeans, and red gloves. She looked to me in an odd manner before saying one of the strangest sentences I’d ever been asked by a lady. “What the heck kind of creature are you? And what’s with the sour look? I have something on my face?”
I frowned. “Isn’t that a bit personal? And also…” I pointed behind her “Look, it’s the wonderbolts captain, Spitfire!”
She immediately looked where I was pointing and I grabbed my friend in a bridal hold and ran to Twilight's library. Once inside, I set him down and sat against the door. “Sanctuary at last!” I said loudly, prompting a stern shushing from upstairs.
I was then that I saw Boris looking at me oddly. “Dude, the fuck was with the bridal hold?” He said, raising an eyebrow at me. "I'm starting to think that joke I made earlier was accurate".
I made an x with my arms. “Denied, I like puss and tits good sir, I just figured you’d rather I didn’t sling you over my shoulder like a sack of spuds.”
There was then another shushing as none other than Twilight Sparkle herself, clad in a librarian’s outfit, came down the stairs, giving us a stink eye that quickly became one of curiosity. “How in Faust's name is your magic not being cancelled by the negation field I set up? That means you either aren’t using magic… or have VERY powerful mana…”
The buff looking man blinked. "Maybe both?" He suggested. Frankly, he didn't even know if he had any… but that wouldn't stop him having fun with this.
I then felt a field of energy grab me as Twilight levitated me towards her, I promptly tensed my body, anticipating some sort of attack. instinctively, almost as if I was used to being attacked on sight on a genetic level… oh yeah, undead now. I looked to Twilight and crossed my arms expectantly. “Down please?”
Twilight blushed sheepishly before setting me down and writing down some notes. “So, what kind of creature are you? Obviously not a pony or diamond dog, the legs are all wrong, and not a dragon, there would be no way you’d stay up covered in all that ice, as ice dragons are solitary creatures, and all other species of dragon are cold blooded...”
I smirked. “That’s a secret~”
Twilight pouted and looked to Boris, making a puppy dog face and folding her arms under her ample bosom. “Can you tell me?”
"A land creature." Boris said unhelpfully, prompting Twilight to huff and go to what I assumed was Spike, although he looked even more threateningly large than Boris, and I could tell that if I pissed him off I’d be in for a bruising.
“Spike, can you take a letter? It’s time for the weekly letter to Celestia, and we could probably stand to request a sound proofing charm put on the upstairs… I have a feeling ponyville is going to be a rowdy place.”
I shrugged and walked toward a bookshelf and sat down, grabbing a book titled. ‘War magic through the ages’ Which was surprisingly enlightening as to ideas for my cryomancy and skyrim magic. I looked to Boris and smirked, finding him reading as well. “Anything useful?”
"I'm questioning why there's a porn mag in this one." Boris blankly said, showing the inside of the book to me.
I read the title aloud. “Big bottom mares, and their plump pussy pounders… Oh dear god it comes with a catalogue of movies.” I looked to Twilight and frowned as she looked at me in horror. I then looked to Spike, to see that he was blushing a deep crimson. I think I found the culprit. “Spiiiiiike, hide things under your bed dude, like a real man, don’t hide them in library books.”
Spike tried to whistle innocently, only for Twilight’s horn and hands to start glowing as he began to be assaulted by spectral hands that chopped the back of his head and pulled his ears. “Ouch, Twilight, stop! I had no idea that mag was there, it must’ve been from-”
Twilight then grunted. “I know you’ve been fixated on Pinkie since we got here, so don’t even try to try that nonsense with me!”
Boris refrained from laughing out loud at the exchange. "I'd suggest checking the books for more." He managed to get out.
Twilight nodded and smiled sweetly at us. “So, what brings the two of you here? I can only assume you are not from Equestria, maybe a subspecies of Himaneighyan yeti, what with the ice powers… but anyway, before I go off on a tangent, what brings you two here? Should I call pinkie and alert her that we have two new arrivals to ponyville?”
I scratched my head. “Umm… no thanks? I kinda want to get to Sweet apple acres without alerting Pinkie Pie that we are here?” I shuddered, “The pink one must not find us yet, we must meet the apples first, for the sake of our sanity.” I then paused as I saw something odd outside, it was right next to a statue of Celestia, but… every pony that walked by it seemed to not notice it, or simply ignore it… It was similar to the firelink greatsword, but glowed blue instead of red, and seemed to be stuck into a cluster of ice and crystal in the ground, bones strewn along them. I immediately felt the urge to go to it…
I shook my head quickly and looked to Twilight. “Hey, Purple smart, do you see a sword over by that statue?”
Twilight looked out her window and frowned. “No? Who’d leave a sword by a statue of Celestia? That would be highly odd to do… do you see a sword?”
I nodded. “Welp, I’m going to go investigate…” I looked to Boris and smirked. “See you at Sweet apple acres? Or you want to see what happens?”
"I'll see what happens." Boris said, shrugging. "And try not to jinx you too hard in my head."
I nodded and walked outside as a curious Twilight and a slightly miffed Spike walked outside to watch me along with Boris. I walked to the sword and grabbed it, only for my vision to blur slightly before I found myself in what looked like a workshop of some sort. I looked around to see an odd creature with various ores and metals making up his body looking at me. “Greetings Frostborn” It said. “I hath been instructed to serve thee faithfully, I currently have the materials to make a single weapon for thee, choose wisely.”
I frowned. “What is this place?”
The strange creature seemed to chuckle at this. “A world betwixt life and death, waking and dreaming, this is thy realm to call home, Frostborn, a safe haven that only those you invite may enter.”
I nodded slowly before I looked outside to see what looked like an empty field on a large hill, with many empty lots. “I assume these lots are for something?”
He nodded. “The lots are for other wandering walkers of the in between to grant their gifts, simply gain their token and befriend them, and then thy blessing shall take root in this realm, do not worry, the realm will expand as needed.”
I frowned, trying to parse what he was saying into actual fucking english. “Wait, you mean other displaced exist? Why didn’t that Huntsman tell me?”
The strange creature chuckled softly. “The reason is simple, frostborn, it did not pertain to thyself as vital information at the time. Did thy mind not react to a large, able bodied Spike who pines for the Pink one surprisingly well? That is the Idea that the Huntsman had, that thy own readiness to accept oddities would serve thee well.”
I nodded and frowned. “Can I invite anyone?”
The creature nodded. “Verily, and for thy knowledge, my name is Korth, I shall work all of thy workshops, eagerly in fact, it will be quite a pleasure to craft again.”
I nodded and looked around a moment before shrugging. “Invite Boris, Spike and Twilight?”
Boris immediately appeared in a puff of blue smoke. "This place looks weird." He immediately said upon appearing, looking around.
Spike and Twilight were the next to appear, them looking around in shock as the night sky over them glittered like a beautiful tapestry of lights, illuminating the lone hill quite well. “What in Tartarus is this place?! It was daytime, and now it’s night?”
Korth seemed to sigh from under his helm. “It is eternal night here, child of Faust, There is no sun in this realm nor any stars, even, every light you see up there is a creation of mine own power. I figured that blundering about in darkness only to be met with my grotesque visage would be… unpleasant.”
Twilight frowned. “You aren’t that ugly… sure, a little weird looking, but-”
Korth laughed hard at that. “Among your kind, I am an oddity, but when my kind lived, I was a hideous thing, molten rock thrown at me until my body began to generate it, then crystals jammed into my flesh until it grew them like scales off of my back, metal plates hammered into my bones so thoroughly that they have fused with, nay, become, my flesh. I am an abomination child, and I hath come to terms with it. I thank thee for thy kind words though, and offer thee a small trinket, as the first of many thanks...”
As I pondered what weapon to have made, I saw Korth give Twilight a single gauntlet made of steel, crystal, and what looked like faintly glowing bone. “This is a powerful focus for any mage, may it grant thee power that shall set thee apart from thy kin.”
Twilight frowned and held out a hand to korth, who eyed her curiously. “Dost thou request I place it on thy hand? I-”
She shook her head. “No, I want to shake yours, I have never met someone who was treated so cruelly, yet never spoke with a single hint of bitterness. You are an inspiration in perseverance, and I respect you.”
Korth smiled and nodded before shaking her hand gently, before he looked to me and smiled. “I am glad to serve such a kind master. May thy journey be fraught with riches, and wonders like no other.”
I nod and find myself standing next to Boris and Twilight in the town square, as if nothing happened. “Huh...cool guy.”
"That was some drug trip man." Boris deadpanned
I shook my head as I looked to my hands, the weapon I had in mind materializing right in front of the two of them, a stalhrim and daedric ebony crafted shortsword, made to function just as well as a catalyst for cryomancy, but also much lighter, and quicker to swing. “It was real, man, he made me and Twilight a piece of kit, and I think I can head to his place whenever…”
Twilight slipped on the gauntlet and, I shit you not... she eeped like Fluttershy. “Woah, now that… that is a power boost…”
I smirked. “Think you could make a portal to Sweet Apple Acres?”
She smiled. “Watch me.” She then effortlessly opened the portal in question, and we jumped on through, only… we were about ten feet off the ground… right over what looked to be AJ and Rainbow Dash.
“SHIT!”
