What's Your Worth?

by Friskers

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Self Insert
Length: 1311

Anon has a choice. Stay in Equis, and not have anymore internet for the rest of his life, or go home, where things have changed.

Anon Is given a choice.

Home? Where things aren't looking good?

Or happiness, where he can stay and prosper.

All he has to do is make the simple choice of what he wants.

And it's clear what he wants.

Published 2019-08-25 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-25 00:10:01 UTC

Not Worth It.

Author's Note

Just a little thing I wrote at 2 in the morning one night. I had no idea what I was doing.

Not Worth It.

You were sitting in a comfy chair. It was made form a pretty good designer that would normally be worth several thousand bucks from Earth.

Normally, you'd check out on a website for similar chairs like the one your in, were it not for the fact that you were being held in Celestia's room for some reason.

But right now you weren't really in the mood for their games, but decided to play along as to not draw suspicion.

About a few months ago, you were hit by a weird purple lightning bolt, and transported to what is known as Equestria, or Equis, was the planet's name.

Now you weren't doing anything special, just going to a bookstore to use their free WiFi and look at memes, and porn should the staff not be close, and go about your day with your laptop and a drink from a local coffee shop. And when you left for home, you only had your Phone, keys, laptop, and drink, along with your usual strange internet humor you've developed from online sites.

You were one of many talents, often trying something out and learning rather quickly, should the option arise, or you were just bored.

You weren't very thick in the weight department, often going on walks and building your strength and stamina by doing things all day, and essentially moving around a lot

Then you got struck and teleported to Equis, where you would be staying for a while.

Now one might say that you miss being home, but in reality it was wanting to go back to the comfort of your kind's technological comforts. Like internet stuff. And Amazon.

And about a week ago, you were asked by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to have a discussion.

Now, they've been saying that they could undo the whole magic teleport thing, but honestly, the longer you stayed, the more you didn't want to leave. And the cravings for human technology slowly faded over those months time.

You've been living with a mare called Twilight Sparkle, and her pet/friend dragon, who was a pretty cool guy in general.

She said they found a way to get you home, but from what the letter they sent sounded like, it was kinda passive-aggressive.

And before you knew it, you were in Celestia's room, waiting for both of them to come out and talk to you.

And so, for the past hour, you'e been on your Phone, looking at the memes you stole off of some website that you didn't really care for anymore.

You heard them knock on the door twice, and the both came in.

"Good evening, Anon." Celestia said.

"Yo." You say, not really caring what they were saying.

"Doth thee supposed thou could give us thou's full attention. We bring news, Anon. Some that might interest you.

You laugh as you see an old meme that you have forgotten about.

"Anon."

"Yo."

"We bring you news."

"Cool, and?" You ask, lifting your head towards them.

They were slightly bigger than you, physically. And apparently smarter than you as well. But alas, on many occasions, you have shown knowledge far superior than them.

"We are here to interrogate thee. Thou art withholding information and we would appreciate thou's full attention." You heard Luna say, getting annoyed.

"Well, to be honest, I'm kinda hungry, and the hay sandwich doesn't really fit my dietary needs, so just tell me what going on, then I'll be on my way." You say, giving them a smile. Luna said, on many occasions, that she will interrogate you, but haven't really done so.

You lean back further into your chair, earning a loud squeak from it.

"We have found a way to take you back home, but we would like something in exchange." Celestia said, analyzing your features.

You raise your eyebrow with a knowing smirk.

"Oh, really?" You ask, hiding the annoyance and covering it with playfulness.

"Yes. In exchange for you safe passage to your home world, we would like for you to leave your devices here with us, and allow us passage to its internal storage for the benefit of Equestria." She said.

You groaned out of annoyance. The one time you thought you had the option to go home, the pull up the tech stuff.

"Why can't you just take no for an answer." You say, clearly frustrated.

"Hold thy tongue, human. We still have yet to perform the spell. Now, thou's device." She said, gaining a smug smirk.

Now, you remember that these ponies are similar to humans in some ways.

First is their intelligence, while not as advanced as yours, are quite clever.

Secondly, their expressions. You were always pretty good at reading them, whether it be a dog's, to a lying human.

And these ponies weren't very different from your kind, mentally speaking. They had expressions similar to a human, but there was a slight difference with how they presented them.

Getting off track.

Point is, you had a suspicion that they were lying to you, but you weren't 100% sure.

"Do it." You say.

They look at you with surprised looks. This confirmed your theory. Those psychology classes you took somewhat helped the situation.

"Nay, we believe thou needs to trust us first." Luna said, giving you her trademark glare.

"Well, if you don't show me, I won't believe you, now will I?" You say, watching them squirm under your theoretical thumb.

"Very well, have it your way, Anon." Celestia said.

They both put their horns together, and pulled away, forming what looked like a wormhole what slowly stretched into a portal.

"Well, I'll be." I said, looking into the portal. On the other side it smelled like a crisp afternoon in the neighborhood. You heard your phone vibrate, and a bunch of messages began popping up in my notifications display.

Global Warming: The Next Possible Apocalypse?

Raid Area 51 Internet Meme Actually Happens!

Strange Lights In Sky Begin To Blind People, Causing Untold Amount Of Damage.

Over 2.5 Million U.S Citizens Go Missing Near Military Weapons Testing Base In Nevada

Amazon Rain forest Nearly Completely Burned Down, Authorities say Possible Martial Law.

North Korea Plans For The U.S, And What To Expect.

Halo Infinite Cancelled.

Spider-man Removed from MCU, Permanently.

ISIS Sends Death Threats To Porn Stars Wearing Hijabs.

Pornhub Is Now A Pay To Play.

Stock Wages Drop Due To Lack Of Funds.

Stock Market Nearly Crashes Again!

Watermelon Pizza? Is It The New Thing?

Meme's Are Considered Unethical, And Contraband, And Are Removed From All Platforms.

"Anon. The devices." Luna said, holding out her hoof.

You the decide it's not worth going back. You had a good run back on Earth. Might as well stay with what you got rather than lose everything.

"Nah, I'm gravy." You say, watching the notifications blow up your phone. You shivered. Simple coffee wasn't worth whatever the hell was going on back home.

Besides, Equestrian coffee was far more natural than Earths.

"What does thou mean, I'm gravy?" Luna asked, getting annoyed quickly.

"I'd rather stay in Equestria. It's not really worth it anymore. Like, at all." You say, clearly shaken by the more disturbing stories that kept popping up in your notifications.

"Art thou sure?" Luna asks.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure."

And so, afterwards, you went back to Ponyville, where you continue to annoy Twilight and her friends.

It was actually a lot better here than Earth.

And it wasn't just the coffee that made it better.