Spike sat upon StarShine Hill watching the sun go down over Ponyville. Memories of special moments replayed themselves before his eyes. Wandering, his mind came back to the memory of when he and the girls had watched a meteor shower on this very spot. He thought of the beautiful things he remembered from that evening; the stars, Rarity…
“No, I’m not going down that road. I need to get her off my mind.”
He couldn’t.
Spike was somber as he watched the sunset over Sweet Apple Acres. Eyes surveying the town below him set out in all its tranquillity. He wished life could go back to the way it had been: simple. He missed being carefree. Now he had so much to be concerned about: his draconic nature, his inability to make up for the damage he’d caused to Ponyville, his endangering of the lives of his friends. But it always came back to that one thing, her.
Rolling his head back, Spike took in a deep breath, He let it out again as a sigh.Twilight was growing up above him as he marveled at the first hint of the stars. He wondered if Luna was watching him, looking down from the heavens. Dismissing the thought as foalish, he stretched out his legs. He knew that the goddess was not really a goddess. She and Celestia were little more than unicorns with wings, oh, but how he longed… Goddesses were things he wished there were. Someone with the power to roll back time, to change his fate. He wished there was a way, but his head denied his heart the hope. Tomorrow morning he would wake up and he would just act like everything was still the same. He would have much to make up to many ponies, but that wasn’t it. Tomorrow he’d see Rarity again, and she would act like nothing had ever happened; like nothing had ever been said. And he would just have to play along. For this one night, though, he would have his sorrow, and his bad mood, for it was then the last time he would truly be himself. Tomorrow he would begin living a lie, and he knew it.
The last streaks of light burned over Sweet Apple Acres with such an intensity, such a fire. Closing his eyes, Spike began to listen. He listened to the sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees. He listened to the sound of a dog bark a long way off. And he listened for her, her singing voice. It had drifted to him so many times before. At night, before bed, she would sing, sing the softest prayer to the moon. In town it was inaudible but up here it was carried on the breeze, a sweet whisper and a kiss goodnight. But there was nothing, no sound. Tonight there was no prayer from Rarity, no offering to the moon. She sang better than Sweetie Belle and she was so modest about it. Every night though she would offer a song to Luna; a song for Luna’s sake. But tonight there was no song; there was only silence, a long yawning silence into nothingness. There were not even the snare drums of hell coming to take away Spike’s heart. There was just peace, and Spike despised it.
He thought he heard crying… he longed to hear crying. But there was no crying. He willed crying… but there was still none. He cast his eyes to the damp soil below him.
She had silenced him while falling. Falling had always been one of his favourite sensations. He used to purposely get Rainbow Dash to take him up into the sky and then drop him and catch him before he hit the ground. It was labelled as a stunt. He convinced her it was cool and okay with him. ‘Anything to help Dash’. In reality he just liked to fall; he loved the feeling of weightlessness. Dreams flickered across his eyes of having wings; to be a great beast of flight. Dreams of soaring and swooping and rolling and diving. Though, he cared for that no longer. Gone were his wishes of romantic adventures of slaying beasts. Gone were his wishes of saving the damsel in distress. Gone were his wishes to be a great winged tyrant of the skies. He just wished to sit here alone.
Spike’s head rolled back. His eyes closed. Opening his mouth, he began to sing in a whispered voice…
“Sometimes I wish for falling,
Wish for the release,
Wish for falling through the air,
To give me some relief,
Because falling's not the problem,
When I'm falling I'm at peace,
It's only when I hit the ground,
It causes all the grief…”
His singing was cut off by the sound of sobbing, his sobbing. Tears carefully made their way down his cheeks. He no longer cared for acting macho; he just wanted to cry, and so he did. For what seemed like uncountable hours he just sat there, just letting the tears stain his face, taking with them his grief, his insecurity and his fear. And once he finished he looked back over the valley, the last shred of sunlight disappearing over the horizon as the world slowly sank into night, the moon rising in all its splendour. Spike felt empty.
A cloud lazily rolled across the sky, bevelled in red and coloured in blue. That’s when he saw it; a shadow heading towards him, fluttering gracefully upon the breeze. Silhouetted against the cloud he could only make out a dash of colour.
“Oh, you’re a real dumbass sometimes, Spike.” Spike didn’t care how strong his language was; tonight he just wanted to be honest with himself.
As Rainbow Dash drew near her shape became obvious; that slender, streamlined figure, yet still retaining those curves.
“You know Spike, maybe there is a girl for you.”
Spike slapped himself, he was a dragon. Dragons cannot love ponies. Shoulders slumping, Rarity came back into his mind, her image burning in his thoughts as clear as the first time he saw her. Thankfully Dash knocked his thoughts out of him with a start.
“Hey Spike, what are you doing out here?” Dash was upbeat with that smooth charisma she always had, Spike envied that.
“Oh nothing… just hanging.”
“Just hanging? Out here?” Rainbow Dash gave Spike a quizzical look. She wasn’t falling for it.
“Yeah, you know, just chilling watching the sunset or whatever.” Spike’s voice sunk on those last words, a melancholy tone overtaking his otherwise attitude of indifference.
“Have you been crying?” Dash arched up her head, looking down over him, her gaze eating up the sight of his small, reptilian form. Genuine concern pervaded her tone.
“No, of course not Dash. Why would I be crying?” Spike managed to pull it off. For a moment he even convinced himself.
“Okay, just thought you had a lot to think about at the moment.” At that, it all came flooding back to Spike. His face fell and he burst into tears. Rainbow momentarily was stunned, before taking a step forward as if to comfort Spike then quickly springing back a step. She realised she didn’t have the slightest idea of how to deal with the sobbing figure before her. Spike managed to dry his eyes enough to look back up at Rainbow. Bewilderment occupied her features; eyes opened wide and mouth limp. Emotional crises were not her forte.
“Um, Spike… are you okay?” Rainbow ventured hesitantly before taking another step back as Spike burst into a fresh bout of sobbing. Rainbow Dash glanced around awkwardly. Her eyes scanning for something, anything to help her out. When she searched sufficiently enough to realize rocks weren’t going to help, she made a decision. Closing her eyes, she lunged forward and wrapped Spike in a warm embrace. Spike fell silent.
“Dash, what are you doing?” Spike sniffled through his tears. He was somewhere between startled and astonished with a little bit of shock mixed in for good measure.
“Shh, Spike, I don’t really know what I’m doing here so you’re gonna have to play along with me.” Yielding, Spike let himself go limp before lifting his arms and returning the embrace. They stayed there for a while, in a reverent silence. The comfort gave him temporary reprieve from his sorrow.
After a few minutes Dash began to loosen up her grip. Spike did the same and they both left the embrace, neither quite sure what to say next. Rainbow sat down onto her haunches.
“Sorry about that, I was kinda clueless about what to say so I tried doing what one of the others might do.” she said, raising a hoof behind her head to run her hair through her mane, a rosy blush contrasting her cyan cheeks.
“And that was the best you could come up with,” Spike joked. He felt just as awkward as Rainbow did.
“Yeah, well better than nothing, huh.” The life started to return to her voice as she stomped her hoof on the ground. A playful tone ran through her voice.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” Spike queried, he welcomed a change of subject.
“Well, I was watching the sun go down when I noticed you over here all on your lonesome. Thought you might need some company.”
“You were watching the sunset?” Spike found it hard to keep the disbelief out of his voice.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Rainbow sounded surprised that Spike would even ask such a question.
“Rainbow Dash; fastest pony in all Equestria, potential Wonderbolt, quasi-superhero, doesn’t stop for anything except naps… she was watching the sunset?!” Spike feared he came off a little too strongly, he prayed he hadn’t offended her.
“Yes, Spike; big manly dragon, moustache obsessive, now arch nemesis of the Wonderbolts. And you were out here crying?” Those words stung. Rainbow was only play mocking but still he tensed. He took a deep breath and composed himself, wiping away the look of pain that shot across his face.
“Even monsters cry when they’re sad.”
“Is it about Rarity?” Rainbow’s voice was serious, serene and full of understanding.
“Yeah.” Spike’s sigh was heavy. He cast his eyes down to his feet.
“I’m sure you’ll get over her, Spike.”
Spike remained silent.
‘So that’s it,’ he thought to himself, ‘I know and so does everybody else. It’ll never work out.’
“Hey Spike…”
“Yeah.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
Spike continued to look dejected, he doubted that Rainbow could do anything to console such a deep wound in his soul. They just stood there a while in silence. Then a smile began to spread across his face.
“Hey Rainbow, can we do a stunt?”
I've fallen out of favour
And I've fallen from grace
Fallen out of trees
And I've fallen on my face
Fallen out of taxis
Out of windows too
Fell in your opinion
When I fell in love with you
- Florence and the Machine - Falling
