It was a hot day at Camp Ferarro and it just received a new recruit. Like any other recruit, he came to the camp with almost nothing but little supplies and his will to become a guard of Equestria.
As he entered the wooden gates, he was greeted almost immediately by a royal guard.
"Come on now. Hurry up and get in here. We need to close the gates," the guard rushed.
Without hesitating, he followed the guard's order and ran inside. He stood at attention and awaited further instructions.
"Have you brought anything with you?" asked the guard.
"Yes sir," the recruit answered, "Some supplies for the trip and here are my papers."
"Just drop your bag for right now," the guard motioned. The recruit did as instructed. "I am one of your drill sergeants. You will refer to me as Drill Sergeant or Drill Sergeant Spearhead. Is that understood?"
"Yes drill sergeant," the new recruit replied.
"Now I want to go over a few-," before Spearhead could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by another drill sergeant.
"What are you doing chatting on the job Spearhead!?!" another guard shouted as he stomped his hooves toward them. This caused Spearhead to stand at attention. The recruit was somewhat confused by this as they both appeared to have the same rank. "Spearhead, you better explain to me why you are talking to a civilian on government property!" the other instructor demanded to know.
"S-sorry Drill Sergeant Thorn," Spearhead apologized. "This is the new recruit we were expecting."
The other instructor, Drill Sergeant Thorn, turned his attention to the new recruit. This scared the recruit but did his best to stay calm and continued to stand attention. Thorn walked to the recruit until his muzzle was just a few inches away from his. "So you're the new recruit. What's your name?" asked Thorn.
Without thinking, the recruit replied, "Bronze Plate sir." Suddenly, a cold chill ran up his spine as he stared into the eyes of Thorn. He felt that he just made a huge mistake and was about to suffer for it.
"What's that? Did you forget something maggot?" Thorn asked.
"Uh... Umm..." Bronze Plate struggled to reply. Again, without thinking, he replied, "Forget sir?"
"Strike one," Spearhead thought.
"I AM NOT A SIR! I WORK FOR A LIVING YOU MOOOOORRRRROOOONNNN!!! YOU WILL REFER TO ME AS DRILL SERGEANT OR DRILL SERGEANT THORN!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!" Thorn yelled so loud that Bronze Plate was concerned about going deaf. Although his eyes never left Thorn's, he could feel the eyes of other guards on him.
"Yes drill sergeant," Bronze Plate struggled to reply.
"Can't hear you recruit! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!" Thorn asked again.
"Yes drill sergeant!" Bronze Plated shouted.
"Outstanding. However..." Thorn looked over the recruit from head to hoof. "You are out of uniform recruit! Where is your armor!?"
"I don't have any armor drill sergeant!"
"Strike Two," Spearhead thought.
"Don't have any? You expect me to believe that, maggot? The truth is you lost an expensive piece of Equestrian equipment. That armor is going to come out of your pay, and you will remain in the Royal Guard until you are five hundred and ten years old. That is the number of years it will take for you to pay for an Equestrian-made Royal Guard Armor you have lost! Report to the armory and have a new set of armor issued to you, then report back to me, recruit! Dismissed!" Thorn finished but did not move a single inch.
At that moment, for the first time, Bronze Plate probably felt 10 different emotions all bundled into one. He did know one thing, find the armory and get his armor. But where was the armory? He did not dare ask Thorn. At the corner of his eye, he noticed that Spearhead kept motioning his head to a building. The building stood about as tall as the walls with a large shield above the door. He was sure that Spearhead just introduced him to the armory. Bronze Plate then ran as fast as he could and tried his best not to trip along the way.
***
As he ran inside, almost knocking the doors off their hinges. He noticed right away, a pegasus, probably the quartermaster, was behind a metal cage with a small open window. Behind the cage, there were rows of armor and other military equipment. The pegasus behind the counter took notice of Bronze Plate, "Uh... Can I help you?"
He ran up to the window and said, "Yes. Hi. I need a set of armor issued to me right away."
"Woah woah. Hold on there," said the pegasus with his hooves in the air, "Now I can't just give you the armor. Now first, I will need your name."
"Bronze Plate. My name is Bronze Plate," he said as he grew impatient.
"Okay now. Let me see here..." the quartermaster turned to a logbook. He turned through the pages as he searched for the name. "Hmm, that's odd. I can't seem to find your name. Are you sure you are assigned to this camp?"
"Yes, I'm positive. Even Drill Sergeant Spearhead was expecting me to arrive," Bronze Plate replied.
"Okay okay. Well, I don't see you here in the logbook. Therefore, I can't issue the armor to you. They must have forgotten to update this. It happens sometimes. Do you have your papers with you?" asked the quartermaster.
"My papers?"
"Yeah. When you sign up you are given a copy of your registration forms. With those documents, you are also given order forms for your equipment. If you show me those then I can issue you a set."
Bronze Plate felt that cold chill again. He just remembered that he left his documents in his bag, the same bag that was with Spearhead and Thorn. "Look, I am in a bit of a tough spot right now. Can't you just issue me a set right now and get you the papers later?"
The quartermaster raised an eyebrow, "Oh yeah sure. Oh, and would you like all the food provisions you can eat? Or maybe you want the helmet over there with magic resistance applied to it? Look recruit, I have my orders and I can't give you ANYTHING without the proper forms. Just go get those papers and you get your armor. Go on now. I have other things I need to get done."
"But-!" Bronze Plate tried to protest, but the quartermasters walked away. "Celestia damn it..." he thought to himself. He then turned around towards the door. Before running back out there, he took a couple of deep breaths. "Okay okay. You are thinking too much of this. Just run out there, get your papers, and then run on back. Maybe they won't say anything... I hope..." After one more deep breath, he quickly ran out the door.
***
As expected, both drill sergeants remained where they were. It was almost as if they were statues. As he ran around Thorn, he quickly went for the bag and did not make eye contact. However, that provided no protection.
"Recruit!" Thorn shouted, "You are still out of uniform! I gave you a direct order to report to the armory and get your issue. Now, get out of my face don't come back until you look like a soldier!"
"Yes Drill Sergeant!" Bronze Plate replied, but never looked away from the bag. He shuffled through everything until he finally found his papers. "Yes!" he said to himself. He quickly got back up and ran back to the armory.
He entered through the doors of the armory again, but was not greeted by the quartermaster this time. "Hey! Hey! I got the papers!" Bronze Plate shouted.
"Okay okay! Sheesh." The quartermaster appeared from behind one of the shelves. "Okay. Give them here," he motioned for the papers. Bronze Plate complied. He took a quick read of the papers and wrote in the logbook. "Okay now. That should do it. Wait here while I get it for you," the pegasus instructed.
"Ugh. Finally," Bronze breathed a sigh of relief.
The quartermaster returned, but Bronze was confused to see he wasn't carrying a set of armor. "Sorry, but I have some more bad news. Because this log was never updated, the armor that was assigned to you is not even here right now. It will take a few days before it gets here."
Bronze Plate's eyes widened at this. "You got to be kidding me! I need that armor now!" he shouted.
"Well, you ain't going to get it," the pegasus shrugged. "Nothing I can do from here. Tell you what, if you can get approval from one of the drill instructors then it won't be a problem. I strongly suggest you avoid Thorn. I think he has a spear stuck in his flank."
"Yeah. No $&%#!"
***
With all the running Bronze Plate has done so far, he felt like he was already in hoof camp training. He quickly ran to Spearhead, but that did not help him avoid Thorn. Thorn heard him coming, took immediate notice, and called him out, "This is your second time appearing without your armor recruit. There won't be a third!"
"I swear. If I become a general, I will personally have Thorn assigned to Yakyakistan!" Bronze Plate vowed.
"Recruit, is there a problem?" Spearhead asked.
"Yes Drill Sergeant Spearhead. I was not properly registered and my armor isn't here. So the quartermaster refused to-," Bronze was interrupted by the roaring manticore.
"Those paper-shuffling jackasses! Uh, no offense," Thorn apologized.
"None taken," a donkey guard replied.
"How do they expect me to run this camp if they keep shortchanging me on supplies. Double-time it to the armory and get your issue, then report back to me. DISMISSED!!!" Thorn ordered.
Bronze Plate did not hesitate and once again ran back to the armory, but this time Spearhead followed behind him.
***
Third time was the charm. Both Bronze Plate and Spearhead entered the armory.
"Ah. You're back. What a surprise. And you brought Drill Sergeant Spearhead with you. Excellent choice," said the sarcastic pegasus.
"Take a step back Buck. I will approve of the armor issue. Make it quick. Poor recruit is dealing with Thorn," said Spearhead.
Buck, the quartermaster, eyes widened and had a smile on his face. "Oh? No kidding. Oh, sweet Celestia. I feel so bad for you recruit. You should have said so. I'll be right back." Buck left for the back.
"Are you bucking serious? If I had just told him I was dealing with Thorn, he would have broken all regulations? That settles it. If I become a general, your flank is getting transferred with Thorn," vowed Bronze.
It didn't take long for Buck to come back and this time he was carrying a suit of armor. "Okay recruit. Here is your armor. Just sign these documents and it is all yours. And Spearhead don't forget to-."
"I know I know. I will worry about that later. Come on recruit. Get suited up and let's report back," Spearhead instructed.
"Yes Drill Sergeant," Bronze Plate replied while signing the documents.
***
Both Spearhead and Bronze Plate reported back to Thorn, but this time Bronze was in uniform.
"Excellent!" Thorn sounded very pleased. "You're in uniform now so I'm going to give you a rare opportunity. We are going to start all over as if I never met you. Would you like that, recruit?" he asked nicely.
"Uh... Yes, I would like that Drill Sergeant," Bronze said firmly. "This is going to suck..."
