Any Spell Except That Spell!

by SockPuppet

Rating: mature
Tags: Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Spike, Harry Potter, Crossover, Sex, Human
Length: 1176

Twilight and Starlight: refuse to cast the spell. Visiting human: casts the spell.

Twilight and Starlight: refuse to cast the spell. Visiting human: casts the spell.

With a YouTube audio reading, apparently...

Published 2019-08-25 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-25 20:10:01 UTC

Who's Going to Cast the Spell?

Twilight jumped to her hooves behind her desk and loomed down over Spike and Sweetie Belle. "What? You— you want me to what?"

Sweetie Belle shrank down in her chair. Spike flitted his wings and looked up. "Twilight, it's a very simple request, and—"

"And it's totally unethical!" Twilight raged. "If you weren't my brother, I'd be going to find your parents and tell them what you just asked me! And you, Sweetie Belle, I have a moral and ethical responsibility to talk to Rarity, and to your parents."

"But—" Spike said.

"And—" Sweetie Belle said.

"Enough!" Twilight shouted, and then plopped down in her chair.

She closed her eyes and folded her forehooves under her snout, took a deep breath in, held it, and slowly breathed out, pushing her forehooves away from herself. "Boy. We. Will. Talk. Tonight."

Spike pointed a claw at her. "Twilight, you're being unreasonable. I've changed your bedsheets on laundry day, I know for a fact that you and Sun—"

"Spike! The difference is, I am an adult. Look, you two. Young love is precious and wonderful, but your request is... is... clinically insane. I would be risking jail as an accessory to a crime. You two–consider yourselves grounded. Spend the rest of the afternoon together, maybe at Sugarcube Corner, and expect to spend the next few weeks on restriction."

"But Princess!" Sweetie Belle said. "You can't—"

Twilight levitated them up, out her office door, and dropped them into the corridor of the School of Friendship.

Her office door slammed and locked.

Sweetie Belle looked at Spike. She said, "You were right, and I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Spike nodded. "She's my sister, and she loves me. I have to remind myself of that."

"Starlight?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Starlight."

"Eeeeeeee!!!!!" Starlight squeed. "You two are in love? That's so cute!"

Sweetie Belle and Spike both blushed. Spike put a hand on Sweetie's forehoof. Starlight's eyes got dreamy, and she plunked an elbow onto her desk and leaned her head against it. She glanced at a photograph of Trixie on her desk, then back at Spike and Sweetie Belle. "So cute!"

"Thanks," Sweetie Belle mumbled, with a blush.

"So," Spike said.

"So," Sweetie Belle said.

"So?" Starlight asked.

"We need a favor," Sweetie Belle said.

"A spell," Spike explained.

"A simple spell," Sweetie Belle explained, "I looked it up in a book, but a pony can't cast it on herself. The angle's wrong. And Scootaloo and Apple Bloom aren't unicorns."

"Also," Spike said, "A really strong spellcaster—like, say, you, Starlight—can cast the spell so that it lasts longer between recharges."

"You two are so cute!" Starlight gushed. "What spell?"

They explained.

Starlight frowned. "Ooof. I dunno. That's.... I mean.... you two are kids."

"How old were you when you first had sex?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Young." Starlight looked down her flank, and rubbed her left cutie mark with a forehoof. "Too young. I'm.... I'm not proud of that. I'm not sure I'm comfortable helping you two make the same mistakes I once made, even if you're slightly older than I was."

Starlight looked up, back at the two youngsters. "I... I want to help you... but this is a heavy ask, you two."

"Starlight," Spike said. "We understand. But—we're an interspecies couple. We need the magic to help us. We can't just be together, the way two ponies or two dragons could."

Sweetie Belle nodded. "Isn't the whole point of this school to help the different races of the world come together, and understand each other better?"

Starlight closed her eyes, and breathed deeply for a few seconds. "Okay. Against my better judgement, I'll help you. I'll cast the spell. But if Twilight ever finds out—"

With a flash of raspberry-purple magic, a scroll appeared above Starlight's desk.

Starlight levitated it out of the air, and read it.

"Um...." Spike said.

"Starlight?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Starlight rolled up the scroll and zapped it to ash. "That was Twilight. She told me to keep an eye out for you two, and if I cast the spell, she would have my probation for the whole Our Town thing and time-travel thing revoked, and have me sent to Tartarus."

Spike scrunched up his face. "Ooof."

Sweetie Belle closed her eyes, and a tear rolled down her nose. "We.... we won't ask you to risk that, Starlight."

"Thank you," Starlight said. "Look, you two.... I wish you the best of luck. You're gonna need it, okay?"

Sweetie Belle looked at Starlight. "Good luck with Trixie. I mean, long-distance relationship, and all."

Starlight smiled, very slightly. "Thanks. She'll be back in Ponyville next week."

Spike and Sweetie Belle pouted at the edge of the Friendship Pool in front of Twilight's School. The waterfalls bubbled and gurgled. Spike kicked his feet in the water, and Sweetie Belle, flat on her belly, dipped her forehooves in.

Sweetie Belle said, "I'm sorry."

"It's my fault," Spike said. "I should have known how Twilight would react, and we shouldn't have told her."

"What do we do?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Well," Spike said. "One option is to wait until we both turn eighteen. Twilight or Starlight will both help us then. Heck, they'd probably charge up a magical.... device... so we can do it ourselves."

Sweetie Belle shivered for a second. "I don't want to wait so long. We're in love. I want to make love."

"I'm just glad we checked that medical book before we...." Spike shuddered.

"Those poor ponies. Those pictures were awful."

Spike rubbed his chin. "Wait a second.... we're forgetting one last skilled magician."

"Rarity won't help us. Trust me."

"Not her. That new visiting professor."

Sweetie Belle frowned. "The human?"

"The human."

Spike rapped his knuckles on the door labelled Prof. Hermione Granger.

"Enter," came the accented voice.

Spike and Sweetie walked into the office, and a middle-aged, brown-haired human female looked up from her desk. She wore a white blouse, red and gold ascot, and black cloak. "Please, have a seat."

"Thanks for seeing us, Professor."

"Certainly. Until the semester starts next week, I have plenty of free time. Let me remember: Spike, the Princess's brother. Sweetie Belle, Professor Rarity's sister."

"Exactly!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Charmed. Whatever can I do to help?"

They explained.

The human frowned. "You two seem... young... but I understand Equestria is rather different than Britain."

Sweetie Belle pointed to her flank. "Cutie mark. Not a kid."

Spike flapped his wings. "Not a baby dragon anymore."

"Very well, wherever is this spell?"

Sweetie Belle levitated over a thick spell book and flipped pages.

Professor Hermione frowned while she read it. "Strange, such great similarities between Wizarding and Equestrian magic... Very well, if you're ready, Miss Belle..." The human blushed, and then said, "Turn around, please."

Sweetie Belle blushed, hopped down from the chair, turned around, and pointed her rump at the human.

Hermione swished-and-flicked her wand at Sweetie Belle and intoned, "Flameretardium Vagiosa!"

Author's Note

I am so, soooo sorry......