Bookshelf Shuffle

by Lil Squee

Rating: everyone
Tags: Moondancer, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate
Length: 1006

The Royal Sister's Library, is nothing like Moondancer imagined.

It's far worse.

It's a monument to slaying boredom.

It's a casual reader's paradise.

It's mediocre.

Published 2019-08-26 10:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-26 10:30:02 UTC

Mediocre

Moondancer cantered happily into The Royal Sister's private literature section.

This particular morning was indeed quite a special one.

It took many moons to sway her friend Twilight into giving her a peek inside the hidden room of the Royal Library. The mystery of what rare pieces of hoof written words awaited her was enough to nearly drive her over the edge.

The mare let her hooves click in a joyous melody across the sleek marble floor. Her mane brushed into neat waves for a change, cascading down below her shoulders femininely. Her dull-colored sweater changed out for an elegant yellow design, so the world around could see how happy she was.

Coming over to a large wooden door that towered over the young mare. Moondancer lifted a shimmering crystalline key from around her neck with magic, the warm glow of excitement granting the mare a vibrancy beyond words.

A delicate click danced across the narrow empty hallway, a feminine squee escaping her lips. Wasting no time she pushed the intimidating doors open, a gust of stale musty air burning her nostrils gently.

It was fantastic!

The unicorn darted within making sure to lock the door behind her. The claustrophobic room was lit by enchanted candles which sprung to life the moment she entered. Rows of rainbow-colored books lined the dozens of shelves before her eyes. Each section engraved by a sun emblem or a moon emblem.

Moondancer felt as if she were floating on wispy clouds. Her hooves gliding across the floor as she made her way to Luna's first shelf. The scent of eons passed wafting over her in a wave of elegance and wisdom. This would be a moment she'd carry in her heart for eternity and never forget.

Plucking a thin violet paperback off the shelf. The unicorn braced herself as to what exciting story she chose, this book only seen by a select few ponies throughout history.

“Princess Platinum’s Guide To Pranks.”

Moondancer scrunched her muzzle cutely in confusion.

Could this merely be an odd joke?

If so then for whom?

She wasn't even certain the Royal Sister's knew she was here.

“When pranking thy slumbering sister, knoweth that placing her hoof within the confines of warm Purified Aquafina shall ensure that she will defile her virgin sheets with vile defecation.

Once she has released herself of all built up waterworks, simply jump out from betwixt curtains within the room and jest about ye superiority.”

The unicorn let a silent deadpan gaze lift up from the ancient text slowly. Without batting a lash she returned the odd book from whence it came. Perhaps it was merely a fluke or as she suspected an elaborate prank.

Shuffling cutely to the first shelf of the sun, Moondancer carefully removed a pink hardback from the shelf. Daintily blowing the dust off the cover she read the title written in bold inky text.

“1001 Ways To Enjoy A Banana.”

Peel a banana and enjoy!

Mash a banana into a bowl and enjoy!

Dunk a banana into chocolate and enjoy!

The unicorn darted her eyes down the lengthy list casually noticing nearly all suggestions had a green check next to them.

Her heart began to sink within her chest.

This couldn't be truly happening?

Could it?

The books of eons and wisdom were nothing more than simple casual reads!?

Taking a calming breath she rushed over to Luna's middle shelf. Lifting out three random books haphazardly in her bright glowing magic. She just knew that somewhere within these walls were genuine literature of classical minds, they were princesses and thus the epitome of elegance.

“Do Raider: Strategy Guide.”

“Lucid Dreaming And You.”

“So You've Been Banished: Guide To Re-entering Society.”

The unicorn gave a loud whiny in horror after reading each title. Her hooves wildly rushing over to the last sun shelf, scooping up at least six books into her hooves.

“Acting: A Comedy Of Errors.”

“Just Neigh No: How To Say No To Cake.”

“Connect The Constellations: Fillies Connect The Dot Playbook!”

“How To Pretend To Be Omniscient.”

“So You Lifted The Sun Too Quickly: Pulled Hamstrings And You!”

“Guide To Sharing With Your Sister: And How To Still Own Everything!”

Moondancer let herself rise to her hind hooves giving a wild neigh in horror. Everywhere she turned was the vile text of a casual reader, no memoirs, no tactical scripts, or even a simple insight about immortality.

Instead, she found such jewels such as...

“So Your Student Has Become The Master: Guide To Retirement.”

Or horrible little novels like…

“Scary Stories To Tell In The Sunlight.”

She was surrounded by mediocrity!

The young mare felt dizzy as she tripped over the scattered books on the floor. Tumbling down in a cloud of dust, a yellow hardback fell from a high shelf. The book booping her muzzle as violet hues helplessly read the cover.

“Of Mice And Mares…”

Moondancer felt her eyes spark with excitement at long last finding something of value. Her eyes falling to the bottom of the cover in complete terror at what was written.

“Cliffs Notes.”

“Nooo!” The unicorn tossed both hooves up to the heavens in utter dismay.

The sound of thunder could be heard booming in the far distance.

Minuette waited outside under the pastel pink parasol of a quaint little cafe. The Maya blue unicorn enjoying her fresh garden salad on this crisp summer afternoon. The disappointed click of hooves causing her ears to flicker cutely.

Moondancer had solemnly shuffled her way down the crowded streets of Canterlot. Minuette flaunting a feminine hoof towards her friend, offering a smile to ease her troubled mind. The sweater-clad mare lifting her head up in defeat, barely able to even form a weak half-smile.

“Hello, how did your library trip go?” Minuette questioned politely.

“Hmm.” The pastel yellow unicorn pouted.

“That bad?” Minuette stifled a melodic giggle.

“I'll just say this, The Royal Sisters…” Moondancer smoothed out her frazzled mane.

“Should be ashamed of themshelves."