The Calculus of Love

by Lofty Withers

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Bon-Bon
Length: 1077

Lyra keeps finging. Whatever that is. Bonbon just wants sleep. Love shouldn't be this hard.

Lyra keeps finging.  Whatever that is. Bonbon just wants sleep.  Love shouldn't be this hard.

—∫—∫—∫—∫—∫—

Thanks to my pre-readers Lingo and Fillyfoolish, to Sockpuppet for feedback on titles and descriptions, and to JackRipper for asking me what my jumbled slang meant. The strangest things inspire me.

Content Warning: serious discussion about mental health.

Art by Mundschenk85 cc-by-nc-3.0.

Published 2019-09-17 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-17 21:00:01 UTC

Finging

Bonbon rolled over to face Lyra. ”It's four AM. You should be sleeping. What are you even doing?”

”Finging.”

”Finging?”

”Well, I'm trying to. It's hard without fingers.”

Bonbon scrunched her nose. ”Well stop it or go downstairs. Some of us have work in the morning.” She fluffed her pillow and rolled back over.

”Sure. Hold on. I almost have it.”

Bonbon ignored Lyra. Tried to, at least. It didn’t stop. She sat up and looked at the clock. ”It's been ten minutes, Lyra. Just go to sleep.”

”Yeah, sure.” She glanced at Bonbon, catching her glare through the dark. She sighed. ”I'll just sleep downstairs tonight.”

Bonbon tracked her as she left, listening to the clip clop of her hooves as she descended the stairs. Satisfied, she rearranged the bedding and snuggled into the abandoned warm spot, finally drifting off to sleep.

All good things end.

”Bonbon, Bonbon!” Lyra shook her awake.

Bonbon sat up. ”What? What's going on? Is it the parasprites again?”

”No! I did it! I did it!”

Bonbon yawned and rubbed her eyes. ”Did what, Lyra?” She looked at the clock: 4:58 AM.

”I did it! Watch.” She held a hoof up, wiggling it for Bonbon. ”See?”

Bonbon blinked and leaned closer. ”What am I supposed to see?”

”The finging!”

Bonbon studied the hoof. ”You're just wiggling it.”

”You might think that at first, but it's different than regular wiggling. This is like using a finger.”

Bonbon groaned and looked at the clock. Then the hoof. ”I see. That's great Lyra. I'm real excited for you. Now please,” she said, turning off the light. ”Go the buck to sleep.” She rolled over, dropping her head onto the pillow with a plunk.

Lyra reclaimed her spot in the bed, pulling the sheet up and away from Bonbon, who tugged it back to an equitable split, surprised but glad that Lyra didn't continue the tug-of-war. Bonbon released her tension with a loud sigh and snugged into the pillow, finally able to get some rest with Lyra settled.

Moments later, Bonbon opened her eyes to the muffled sound. There it was again. She whispered, in case Lyra was asleep and just making a weird snoring noise. ”Are you crying?”

Lyra sobbed louder, crushing Bonbon's hopes like a piano tossed over a cliff to the rocks below. She rolled over and wrapped a hoof around Lyra. ”What's wrong?”

”You weren't excited. I could tell. You said you were excited for me, but you weren't. And I've kept you up so late. You’re mad at me now.”

”Seriously?“ She sighed angrily. ”Lyra, I'm not going to act excited at four in the bloody morning. I love you, but this is ridiculous. I can be excited for your weird accomplishments at a more reasonable time of day.” She looked to the shelf at the head of the bed. “Have you been taking your meds?”

”Mostly? I don't know.”

Bonbon flicked on the light and reached to the headboard, grabbing the pillbox. She held it up so the light shone through, allowing her to see the pills past the semitransparent cover. ”Lyra, you've only taken like half your meds for the week.”

”That's last week's container.”

Bonbon facehoofed. ”Lyra, I don't want to have to take you to the emergency room again. You need your medicine. I'm surprised withdrawals didn't kill you last week.” She stared at the container. ”Have you been cutting back for weeks?”

Lyra shrank away from her.

'''Oh Lyra.” She put the pillbox back and cuddled up, wrapping her best friend in a tight embrace. ”I love you Lyra. I don't want to lose you. Why are you doing this?”

Lyra's words came thick and slurred as she fought the tears. ”I don't like how it makes me feel. It was better with a low dose. I could barely function when they raised it. It felt like somepony else controlled my body. I couldn't compose. Everything came out dry and bland. I don't want to be like that again.”

”I see.” Bonbon lay there, stroking Lyra as she thought, waiting until Lyra’s breathing evened and shallowed. She disentangled and slipped out of bed, heading to the door.

''Bonbon? Come back to bed. You need your sleep.”

Looking at the clock, Bonbon smirked. ”I love you. I'll be right back.” Tiphoofing down the steps, she entered the storefront. Grabbing a marker, she wrote ”Closed today, back tomorrow” on a sheet of paper.

Carefully lifting the curtain on the door to avoid ringing the bell above it, she taped up the sign. She dropped a few candies into the free box that opened to the outside—a consolation for the customers she will miss.

Looking around, she nodded. Back up the stairs, with a quick stop to use the facilities and get a drink. She closed the door and climbed back into bed, snuggling Lyra.

”Had to use the bathroom?”

”Yes. Closed up shop for the day too.”

”I'm sorry.”

”It's ok. I can take a day off once in a while. It's just candy. You're more important.”

''Thanks. You're too good for me.”

'''Don't think you're getting off lightly though. We're going to Canterlot after I get a bit of sleep.”

Lyra rolled over to face Bonbon. ”Canterlot?”

”Yes. You're going to tell your doctor what you told me. We’ll get you onto a different medication. Or adjust your dosage. Or something. But you're going to do it with the doctor's assistance and guidance.”

Lyra leaned in, rubbing noses and trading kisses. ”I love you too.” She closed her eyes, smiling. Finally relaxed, Lyra drifted quickly to sleep.

Untangling the mess of emotions that ensnared her, Bonbon watched Lyra's gentle breaths. Her cute face.

Lyra was crazy. Bonbon had the doctor's note to prove it. But Lyra was her crazy. Her crazy musician friend that she somehow fell hopelessly in love with. Despite all the trouble—the doctors, the late nights. The emergency room visits.

Despite it all, Bonbon wouldn't trade Lyra for anything. It's not that the good times more than made up for the bad, although they did. There was no calculus of love. No balancing of accounts. Love is.

Bonbon kissed Lyra’s forehead and slipped out of bed. She pulled the sheets around Lyra, tucking her in with an extra blanket. She headed to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Today would be long, but tomorrow? Tomorrow would be better.