Author's Note
This is not meant to be taken seriously. It's utter and random nonsense.
Enjoy!!!
Pinkie Dreams
Pinkie Pie was one strange pony. There was not a pony around who did not know that. Her logic was baffling, her actions absurd. So it made sense her dreams would be a little weird too.
Luna prided herself in her work in the dream realm. She paid nightly visits to each pony's dreams, making sure there were no nightmares to conquer so everypony could sleep peacefully.
Pinkie's dreams, however, were anything but peaceful. Not that they were particularly alarming, unless one worried for her sanity. They were among the most interesting dreams Luna often witnessed. Unlike alot of others, she actually watched Pinkie's dreams play out in full.
This night was like any other. Pinkie Pie went to sleep, Luna took up her duties, and the dreams came right on schedule. Luna laughed as she watched the party pony skip through candy fields and hop on balloons like a frog, singing silly songs or conversing with some inanimate object.
Then it took a slightly more interesting, and a little bit alarming, turn...at least to Luna. Walking along a path through cotton candy, Pinkie was suddenly dropped down a hole into a giant field. This field contained tomatoes.
Large, taller than a pony, bright red, talking tomatoes. With eyes and mouths of course.
Pinkie, unafraid, hopped up to one and grinned. "Hiya, Mr. Tomato! Or are you a Mrs? Maybe I'll just say hi Tomato."
The responses were not understandable to Luna, who shook her head and watched curiously, as well as concern, something telling her the next parts of this insane dream world were not so great.
Pinkie, having giggled at the tomatoes, trotted merrily along a path that webt between two trees at one point. She hopped past them and all scenery changed. Now it appeared the settingbwas an olden times one, with ponies in odd clothing and using odd speech...Luna recognizing it as very old. Pinkie seemed unbothered, and cheerfully hopped on, the dream switching to an island setting.
A brightly colored bird, colors resembling that of Rainbow Dash, sat on a limb. Pinkie, being Pinkie, hopped up to it.
"Awww. Fluttershy would love you!" She said. "You're such a sweet looking bird! Ooh, are you candy??"
She leaned closer, apparently intent on licking the creature to test this theory, as she was poking out her tongue. The bird, however, flapped its wings and squuawked.
"I beg your pardon, you springy pink thing!" He said indignantly. "I assure you I am not candy!! Kindly do not lick me!!"
Pinkie made a sad face. "Awwww."
She then brightened and bounced in place. "You can talk??? And I understand you! Oooh this so cooool!!! I'm Pinkie Pie. You must be Rainbow Bird! No, wait...too long. Ummmmm....RAINBIRD. Hehehe. You're Rainbird!"
The bird looked unamused. "I am whatever you've made me to be, you silly pony."
"I know! I made you Rainbird! Like Rainbow Dash..." she let out a massive gasp.."Rainbird Dash! Are you fast?? Super fast??? Like create multiple rainbow colors and a big explosion fast???!"
"I don't know. Am I?" The bird flapped his wings. "I am only what you imagine me."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Then you are super duper extra fast!" Pinkie bounced a little. "Ooh! Gotta go! See ya later, Rainbird!!"
Luna shook her head, but then was instantly alert...as it appeared a slightly dark mist popped up next. Pinkie looked around her, curiously.
"Hmmm...I don't remember this ever happening before...oh well! Imagining new things!"
Luna arched an eyebrow as figures started out of the mist, headed towards Pinkie Pie. Both eyebrows went higher when she saw what they were.
Cookies. Giant chocolate cookies. Walking and talking giant chocolate cookies. That looked mad. Pinkie stood and stared, clearly not expecting that.
"Whyyyy do you eeeeat our brothersssssss?" They sounded like hissing snakes.
"Uh oh." Pinkie said. "Retreating! Retreating! Oh, but first..." she threw cupcakes at them. "Wheee."
She turned and bounced away, shrieking, the cookies following. Luna reacted without even much thought. She concentrated, bringing the dreams of five other ponies into this one. Their dream selves appeared next to her.
"What in tarnation???" Applejack sputtered. "Ah was dreamin' of apples, an' then....what the hay is that?!"
She had spotted the cookies. And so had the others. Their jaws dropped.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Rainbow Dash waved her hoof. "No offense, but, did you seriously drag us out of perfectly sane dreams into this...very much not sane one??"
"Pinkie Pie is in trouble." Luna said. "You needed to be here."
"Well, we'll do what we can but, why exactly is she being chased by cookies?" Twilight asked, eyebrow arching.
"Um, helloooo! Its Pinkie Pie, remember?!" Rainbow Dash huffed. "She's weird! Not understandable. Crazy. Her logic makes zero sense!"
"Yes, yes, we know, darling." Rarity spoke up. "But please, if we are rescuing poor Pinkie from cookies, could somepony turn on the light so I can better see them??"
All eyes went to her, and Fluttershy, in her kindest way possible, spoke up.
"Um, Rarity...? Um, you still have your um, mask on..."
"I whaaa?"
The unicorn brought her hoof up to her face and felt the mask over her eyes. She froze momentarily before removing it and giving them all a look.
"Yes, well, I was at the spa in my dreams before I was pulled into this one...we shall never speak of this, ahem, mistake, again."
Rainbow Dash facehoofed while the others just shook thier heads.
"Heyyyyy girrrrrrls!" Pinkie's shriek made them all turn. "How'd you get here?? Isn't this fun?? Whoa!!!"
She dodged a ball of golden brown, laughed, and then shrieked as another flew at her.
"Too fast! Too fast! Aaah! Little help! Too fast!"
"Rainbow!" Twilight said urgently.
"On it!"
The daring and fearless pegasus took to the sky, flying forward and hovering in front of the oncoming ammunition. She turned, and as they reached her, she kicked with both hind legs, intending to buck them to pieces.
Didn't exactly go as planned.
Her legs connected with them, alright...but stuck fast. She yelped as the weight of them dragged her down.
"What the...WHAT IS THIS, GLUE??" She hit the ground with a thud, still stuck. "Ow..."
"Eeeeeeeeee!" Pinkie squealed as she whizzed past, with a cookie hot on her trail.
Twilight lit her horn and ran after both, intent on stopping the cookie from getting her friend. Applejack spotted one going after Rainbow Dash and charged forward.
"Oh no ya don't, ya oversized lump of sugar!" She spun and bucked it out of the way.
"Whatever do you think you are doing??" Rarity was facing another cookie...that was wearing a red, bright green, and bright pink hat. "This is a crime against fashion! How dare you?!? This color does nothing to compliment your shade of chocolate brown! It is in fact highly uncomplimentary! Not to mention those colors clash so horribly with each other! I never! Who is your fashion designer?! They should be fired!" .
"Rarity!" Applejack yelled. "Tarnation! Stop tryin' to fix its fashion, will ya?! Now ain't the time for that!"
Rarity bristled at that. "EXCUSE ME?!" she shrieked. "Not the time for fashion?? My dear Applejack, I assure you, it is always time for fashion!"
"Less talking, more fighting!" Rainbow yelled. "I'm still stuck and Pinkie needs help!"
Before anyone could respond, the scene changed. The cookies vanished, replaced by a field of candy, and flowers.
Talking, singing flowers.
"AAH!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Get rid of it! Help! Noooo!"
One flower leaned towards her, almost menacingly.
"Don't you like us, Rainbow Dash?"
"AAAH!" Rainbow Dash hid her head.
"Be nice!" Pinkie lectured, jumping in front of it. "Flowers are nice!"
The flowers all smiled then, singing a happy song. Rainbow Dash shuddered but nevertheless looked up.
"What in tarnation is goin' on in this here dream realm??" Applejack demanded.
Fluttershy, silent and pretty much hiding til now, slipped up to Rainbow Dash and hugged her.
"Are you ok, Rainbow?" Twilight asked, panting slightly.
"Flowers. Flowers everywhere. Mustn't think of them. Picture Tank instead." was the response.
"She'll be fine." Fluttershy said, stroking her friend's mane.
"What I do not understand, is what in Equestria is going on?" Rarity asserted. "I have never encountered such fantastical imaginings in all my life."
"Oops! Sorry!" Pinkie said, giggling. "That's my mind. But usually its not so wild!"
"Pinkie...have you met yourself?" Twilight asked.
"Well of course I have, silly! I've met myself many times! You have too!"
"Say what now?" Applejack rubbed her head, confused.
"Ah, I think she is referring to a certain clone incident." Rarity offered finally.
"Yeppers! I met myself so many times that day! Whew!" Pinkie grinned.
The dream changed again at that moment, this time to a scene of complete chaotic insanity. Balloons, candy everywhere, creatures of all kinds, and one extremely big hullabaloo that made everypony wince.
And one more thing not expected...
"Ah Pinkie Pie! Hello! Oh, and you brought our friends, delightful!" The all too familiar figure cheerfully spoke up.
"Discord?" Luna blinked at him.
"No, I am Starswirl." He returned sarcastically, but with a smirk. "Of course I am Discord."
"Yeah, we know, but what the hay are you doin' in Pinkie's dream?" Rainbow Dash demanded.
"Why, visiting, of course." He replied. "As well as lending a bit of unexpected fun to her dreams for her. Pinkie Pie, what did you think?"
"Giant cookies were a super duper extra fantastic idea!!" Pinkie squealed. "Though, trying to attack me, not so much."
"Ah, yes, apologies for that." He smirked. "That was my own bit of doing."
"Whoa who whoa." Rainbow Dash held up a hoof. "You two planned this??"
"Well, the cookies were an accident!" Pinkie said, giggling. "I was thinking about cookies, and eating cookies. See, whatever I imagined, after my own regular dreaming, Discord was making it real. So the cookies were new. And fun! Except the blobs of brown glue."
"Oh, that was not glue." Discord said with a snicker. "That was caramel. Very sticky caramel."
"CARAMEL?" Pinkie gasped. "Discord, do you have more?!"
"Does the lord of chaos have more caramel?!" He exclaimed, faking indignation. "My dear party pony, I only have all the caramel you could ever want!"
He snapped his claws, and a big pile of bite sized caramels appeared.
"Yes!!!" Pinkie yelled, diving into it.
"So we got dragged into this for what...a planned dream?" Twilight huffed.
"Yes." The draconequus grinned wickedly. "And my next task will be to give each of you a chaotically crazy dream as well."
"Oh no you don't!" Rainbow yelled. "You stay outta me, you hear?"
Silence reigned briefly as she blinked, then stammered, "My head! Stay outta my head! Not...Aagh! Princess Luna! Please send me back to my own dreams!"
Luna opened her mouth to answer, but Discord said cheerfully,"Oh come now, Rainbow Dash, the night is young. Pinkie has more dreams. Right, Pinkie Pie?"
"Yeppers!" She responded. "Lots more!"
"But first...allow me to just...take away your escape!" Discord laughed evilly before snapping his claws. "Now you have no magic. I have trapped you all in Pinkie's dreams foreverrrrrr! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"...Hahahaha! And then everypony screamed in terror and I woke up!" Pinkie cheerfully ended her tale of her crazy dreams.
All her friends were staring at her in a mix of fascination and fear.
"Pinkie, darling," Rarity said slowly. "No offense meant, but you have incredibly fascinating and insane dreams."
"I know!!" Pinkie giggled.
"Thank goodness that we are all here in reality and not trapped in your dreams." Twilight observed.
"Yeah really." Rainbow snorted.
"Yeah, thank goodness!" Pinkie said cheerfully, before she looked up at something invisible and winked.
And above her, watching and playing along, Discord just laughed as he magically manipulated strings to move the bearers' puppets and talked in thier voices...much to the annoyance of the live ones watching them.
