Discord's Game of... Something

by Zapper Frost

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Random, Discord, Crossover
Length: 1077

Discord invites some random creatures from across the multiverse to take part in a card game of his own creation

Discord invites some random creatures from across the multiverse to take part in a card game of his own creation, but what the creature don't expect is the card game has no rules and is just taking cards from quite a few card based activities. Who will win this game, I don't know, you're going to have to read on to find out.

This is my first story and I have no experience doing this kind of thing. Have mercy.

Cover art is not mine
Link to original art: https://derpibooru.org/2061634

Published 2019-08-31 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-31 19:50:01 UTC

Discord's 368th annual game night

Five shadowed figures all sat around a triangular table wearing ~~sombras~~ sombreros. At the head of this table sat a mismatched being which against all logic and reason is somehow alive despite it being a creature made of around 18 different animals or more. To the left of this creature is a Pink Blob... that’s it. To the right of the Abomination is a giant, floating, sentient and sapient T, I can see we are off to a great start. To the right of the giant, floating, sentient and sapient T is some sort of moldy bread monster, and to the right of that and the left of the crime against nature is the last member of this band of mismatched freaks, Inconspicuous Background Pony #83.

Each of these Creatures were holding a set of four cards each, whether they be Uno, Dos, Pokémon, Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh, Tarot, MLP: FiM, or any card game that you can think of that fits into twenty cards.

In fact, if you look into their ‘hands’, you can see what kind of cards they are holding. Let's see here, the probable eldritch horror has an Uno red 3, a tarot card of a leprechaun, a Mega Lucario EX, and a Joker with his face on it. The pink blob has a king of spades, an Uno green skip, a Blue Eyes White Dragon, and... a card of himself? Ok, according to the card it says its name is Ditto... huh, wonder why it’s called that. Anyways, the giant, floating, sentient, and sapient T has a potion, something called Progenitus, some pancakes, and a T-Rex. The moldy bread monster has a cheese factory, Queen Chrysalis, an epidemic card, and... yet another player has a card of itself, and according to this it’s just called bread monster. Last but not least, we have Inconspicuous Background Pony #83 with Dimension Valley from PTCG, a swamp from magic, a six of diamonds, and an equestrian mailmare card from one of the many MLP card games.

You know, after telling you all the cards everyone has, I just realized that I have yet to introduce myself to you. My name is Discord, but you may know me as the abomination, the crime against nature, or the thing that goes against all logic and reason just by being alive! Also, in case you think I'm cheating by knowing what cards my opponents have, don’t worry, I am merely just viewing one of my favorite memories from when I controlled Equestria.

“Umm, Discord, who are you talking to?” a butterscotch colored pegasus with a pink mane said as she walked into the room.

“Oh, I am merely just talking to whoever is bothering to watch or read this recording I'm sending out into the multiverse,” Discord said with a noncommittal shrug.

“Oh, well, have fun then,” the pegasus said before leaving the room.

“Ahem, anyways, back to me explaining how my 368th annual game night went,” the draconequus said, turning back to the camera.

The players were tense as Ditto was taking its turn, all wondering just what it was going to play and from which card game it was going to be from. As Ditto was looking through its cards trying to figure out which card to use, Discord decided this would be a good time to cheat by looking at what cards Inconspicuous Background Pony #83 had.

“Ouch,” Discord muttered, “those are some pretty terrible cards.”

Inconspicuous Background pony #83, seeming to have heard him, sharply turned to Discord and glared at him for cheating and was about to call him out for it before Ditto finally figured out what card it was going to play and played a King of Spades.

“Ah ha!” The giant, floating, sentient and sapient T exclaimed. “You fell right into my trap card,” it said before playing the plate of pancakes. “You see, by playing the pancakes, the king gets distracted by the crisp, golden fluffiness that is a plate of pancakes and thus becomes ineffective for the rest of the game.”

Ditto was sad.

Anyways, it was now the moldy bread monster’s turn, and without wasting a second, it played the cheese factory card thus giving it two cheese chakra each turn.

“Yikes,” Discord said. “If we don’t take care of Bread Monster quick, it is going to become too powerful for us to even come close to beating it.

Everyone, except the bread monster, agreed.

Anyways, it was now Inconspicuous background pony #83’s turn... he just played the six of diamonds, what a boring move.

And finally, it was the turn belonging to the lusus naturae that is discord. As the turns went by, Discord put a lot of thought into his turn and what card he was going to play, he put so much thought into this turn that his future self was just drawing out time to build up tension and curiosity on what the card he was going to play. In fact, his future-self wanted to build up so much tension that the viewers and readers were probably getting annoyed at his stalling and just wanted him to tell them what the card he played was. It was by this point that Discord felt he wasted enough time stalling time and just decided to get this over with and tell them what it is that his past-self played. Although while he is a little curious on why no one didn’t just decide to skip through this paragraph to see what the card that he played was.

“Okay, future-self, I think they get it, you are procrastinating, but even I am getting annoyed at it at this point and just want you to get on with it so they know what card I played,” the past Discord said as he played the joker card with his face on it.

“Ah ha! Checkmate!” Discord exclaimed at he won the 368th annual game night. “Better luck next time,” He said, like a good sport.

“And that was the time I won the 368th annual game night by using the same strategy I use every time I play this game,” Discord said as he closed his storybook and looked down to his X amount of greats grandchildren and sighed wistfully as he remembered that memory clearly.

“So, who wants to hear about that time I took Celestia’s tail and used it as a toothpick?”