We’re home alone in the dark. Do you feel afraid?
What’s there to be afraid of..? That’s the scary part. I don’t know.
My name is Scootaloo. And I’m afraid of the dark.
It sounds pathetic, right? A filly my age still crying for her mommy when it’s dark? I guess it would be, if my parents were actually there to comfort me. I live alone during the night. Everyone thinks I need a babysitter during the day while my parents explore every single jungle in equestria and beyond, then they expect me to be peachy keen during the night.
The night, when it’s dark, silent, and cold in my room. Is this what it’s like hiding from a murderer? Or is it worse? I don’t know where my murderer is. Maybe they aren’t here...or maybe they’re waiting in my closet. Then when I’m about to fall asleep.
Creeeaaakk…
the door to my closet will slowly open.
Or maybe my murderer is sitting in my desk chair, facing my bed. I wouldn’t know. All I see is darkness.
What if they’re right in front of me? just inches away from my face. Inches from being nose to nose with me. Soulless eyes, no lips, sharp teeth, white face. But I can’t see it, all I see is darkness.
“Just sleep” I tell myself mentally. “Somepony will be there in the morning.''
Of course, this is always true. I wake up unharmed in the wake of day to find either Aunt Holiday & Auntie Lofty, Mr & Mrs Cake, Rarity, or Rainbow Dash making me breakfast.
Then the cycle repeats. All day ponies are over my shoulder as if leaving me alone for a second puts me in great danger. Then the moment the sun goes down, most of them ditch me and go home. The time I need them most.
Many nights I spend walking around with all the lights on. Refusing sleep. Walking along creaky floorboards as the wind blows against the glass windows of my home. Protecting me from the endless dark void outside.
I know there’s something out there looking in through the windows, but what? I don’t know. I can’t know. I can’t go outside and check, I’ll be taken by whatever sadistic demon that’s waiting for me just beyond the light shining out from within my house. But I can’t see it, all I see is darkness. All I can hide from is darkness. Darkness can’t be hid from. Darkness is a monster far more dangerous than all the monsters in tartarus combined, because at least they can be contained.
Darkness can’t be contained. It contains things of its own. Things that we don’t know exist, things that we wish we didn’t know existed.
Darkness is everywhere where the light doesn’t shine. So what’s gonna stop something evil from appearing in your closet, hiding under your bed, or even dropping from the night sky?
I’ll be walking through the dark halls to my room from the bathroom when suddenly a big SLAM will come from my roof. Guttural screams from a satanic mare with gouged out eyes and a broken neck will shake and echo around the frames of my house, as loud stomping noises travel around the ceiling while it crawls around the roof and walls on the outside of my home. I call her the eyeless mare. I’ll see her sick and twisted face as she crawls over windows, screaming. Until..silence.
That's when the slow sickening rhythm of flesh squelching down my chimney will start. She’ll be crawling down my chimney to get me..
Would turning on the lights stop her? Would she suffer in the light? Would any creatures made by darkness suffer in the light? Or would they be immune to it once they’re created.
Only Starlight Glimmer, the former counselor at the school of friendship, knows that I’m afraid of the dark. I wouldn’t dare to tell anypony else. That’s why whenever the crusaders have a sleepover, I pray that it’s at Sweetie Belle’s house, or at least in my house. Cause I’ll be damned if you expect me to wander the pitch dark halls of Apple Bloom’s wooden farm house with nothing but a flashlight to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Especially in the bathroom itself with her shower curtain always closed. Anything could be hiding behind there.
A low, pained, groan will come from behind the shower curtains as I wash my hooves. I’ll turn my head. Silence. I don’t want to open the curtains. I know somethings there. It’s like spin the wheel. What scary monster is hiding in the shadows tonight? I’m sure I’ll find out if I just open the curtains. I really don’t want to but I need to. No. I really don’t need to but I want to. Which one is it? I don’t KNOW.
Opening the curtain to Bloom’s shower, I’ll find a little filly or colt, maybe my size or smaller, hanging by their neck from the ceiling. Gently swaying side to side..The darkness surely did it to them. What will I do? Scream? Puke? Cry? Drop my flashlight and run? Run to where? Through the darkness where I’ll be next?
See the problem now? The only option is to hold it till morning. Which wouldn’t be too hard when you’re too afraid to leave your bed on a normal occasion just in case mutated hooves grab your leg from under your bed as you leave the room and haul you under.
So why can’t I just bite the bullet and hold it through the night in Apple Bloom’s house if I’m so used to it?
Because, Apple Bloom can’t put up with a little heat. She keeps her window open at night so that the eyeless mare can crawl in and kill us.
When I told Starlight about my fear of darkness, she tried to explain that everything in the dark is the same as during the day. That’s...mostly true. You see, it’s just as true as it is to say everything in a room stays the same when a pony is standing in it. Sure, everything there before hasn’t vanished. But now, something has been added, some..one. That someone could do something when you’re not looking to cause harm. That someone, is the darkness. Only it doesn’t do something to harm you when you’re not looking. It does things to harm you even if you are looking. Because it’s presence alone can literally blind you from whatever sick and twisted plans it has in store for you.
Thud
Did you hear that? It sounded like something fell. Maybe a ball rolled off the dresser..but why would it just randomly do that?
Thud
Maybe it’s the eyeless mare tapping on the window.
Thud
Want to open up the blinds and take a look? Don’t worry. I’ll watch your back so nothing creeps up on you.
Wait. I can’t.
We’re in the dark.
Author's Note
My first fanfic, not the best, but I'm still somewhat proud of it to be my first.
Thanks for reading!
..or should you? (Lighthearted Sequel)
Author's Note
Scootaloo finds the letter she wrote in September 2019..as it gets closer to Nightmare Night, she decides to read it for fun. Her reaction to the letter was the same as mine when I re-read my early 2019 Halloween fic depicting what she wrote.
Now we have a sequel with a pretty straight forward message. And perhaps foreshadowing for the future?
Who knows. Happy Halloween folks, stay safe!
..or should you? (Lighthearted Sequel)
It’s been 2 years since I really gave thought to my fear of the dark. I wrote a weird..poem-like letter to myself with a really dumb cliffhanger, like I was telling a story or something. I found it earlier today and re-read it. I kinda cringed in some places, and shivered in other places because I kinda re-opened some old wounds. I figured I’d write another one now that I’m older...well. Older-ish. It’s only been 2 years, but whatever.
To tell the truth, nothing’s really changed. Like..yeah, I’ve grown a tiny bit and I’ve learned to think a little more positively but at the end of the day, a phobia is still a phobia.
My..mentally made up monsters are still horrifying to think about but that’s what the mind does when you’re scared. We fear the unknown, I realize that now.
I’m not afraid of the dark, I never was, I’m afraid of what might be in the dark. When you’re laying in bed with nothing to do, restless, your mind wanders, it’s really a “use it or lose it” situation. I’m not really using it, soooo..I lose it. I conjure up horrifyingly scary images in my head, and I have borderline anxiety attacks.
But..like I said. I’ve grown a tiny bit and I’ve learned to think a little more positively. I’m not gonna lie, telling others about my fear of the dark was pretty embarrassing but..some helped me put my thoughts into words better. Sweetie Belle was the biggest help, and Apple Bloom said she’d ask Applejack if she could get a fan so she could close her windows at night for our sleepovers. Who knew Mr Breezy would be more than willing to give her a fan for free in exchange for an apple cake? I’ve never had one, never thought they’d be good, but like..they definitely LOOK good..
..I’m getting off track. Anyway, like I said. Sweetie Belle was the biggest help, I wasn’t too keen on the idea at first but like..to help my nerves..y’know..to just..calm down when really anxious..cuddling kinda helps.
Yeah..it’s from her, but like, it’s also from Rainbow Dash and we’re basically sisters so it’s not..like..a “crush” thing-Look, it’s just nice to feel secure when I’m feeling really vulnerable and unsafe.
My whole point about this is that if you just tell someone you trust that you need help..they’ll help you. I know not everypony has someone who they trust to tell their problems to, but my advice to somepony who does is just that. Ask for help, it might be the hardest thing a pony has to do, but the realization that the ponies you hold closest to your hearts have your back is one of the best feelings you’ll ever feel, and it makes asking for help more than worth it.
Maybe I’ll write another response in another 2 years..I guess we’ll have to see if anything changes again.
Peace out,
Sincerely,
Scoots
