"Uh, Mrs. Cake? Pinkie is digging a hole outside the shop. Thought you should know."
Mrs. Cake sighs and shakes her head.
"Poor mare. I remember my digging days, it felt like it would go on forever."
You raise your eyebrows.
"So this is something ponies just...do?"
The baker nods.
"There comes a time in a mare's life when you feel empty, like a shore without a sea. Digging a hole helps fill the space in your heart, a little bit. And if some handsome stallion happens to climb in..."
You tilt your head.
"I think I get it. So, uh, is there anything we can do for Pinkie? It doesn't sound like a fun time."
Mrs. Cake grins.
"Nothing I can do, but I think she would love to hear how concerned you are about her."
You roll your eyes.
"Subtle. Still, what kind of friend would I be if I left her alone like this?"
Mrs. Cake smiles fondly at you.
"You're a good colt, Anon. Never change."
You stare down into the 6ft deep hole. Pinkie is swaying, her limp curls of her mane inflating and deflating. You glance around, but most ponies either ignore it, or send pitying looks at the hole. You sigh, then sit cross-legged at the edge.
"You alright, Ponks?"
She looks up at you with wide eyes.
"Nonners? I mean, haha, yeah! Just, uh, just wanted to see what the dirt was like, you know, for party planning!"
You raise your eyebrows.
"That's some deep preparations."
Pinkie Pie giggles, her mane inflating a bit more than usual.
"Yup! You have to plan the hole thing out in advance!"
You chuckle
"Well, I don't want to dig too deep into your business."
The party mare wiggles her hoof in a so-so gesture.
"Ehhhhhh, half points for using "deep" again. Anywhoodles, what brings you to my dig doodles?"
You scratch your cheek.
"Mrs. Cake told me a little about digging days? I don't entirely get it, but I figured you could use some company to keep your mind off things."
Pinkie beams at you.
"That's super de-duper sweet! And I would know!"
You grin.
"Thanks, Ponks. Hey, I'm going to go get some grub, then I'll be right back."
Pinkie wiggles happily.
"Good idea! I'll be right here, so come back quick!"
You can't help but get caught up in her cheerfulness. You get up with a grunt and start jogging towards the Apple stall. You're going to need a decent amount of food, and it has to be cheap and able to drop a fair distance, so apples it is. Even though the mare can eat like Scooby Doo, you suspect she just has a stomach of holding for desserts. When it comes to healthy foods, she just eats normal amounts.
Baffling. Of course, after a few headaches, you followed the local wisdom and just stopped trying to figure out Pi- You stumble, skipping a bit to stop from falling on your face.
"Look at what you just did, Bloom! You nearly made Anon hurt himself!"
You turn around to find Applejack glare over the counter of her stall at a pothole.The pothole replies dejectedly,
"Ah'm sorry, Anon. Ah didn't mean to do you no harm."
You look down to find Apple Bloom at the bottom of a two-foot deep hole.
"Uh, right. This that digging days thing again?"
Applejack rolls her eyes.
"No it ain't, she just wanted to get some practice in. An' she'll fill that hole right back in if she knows what's good for her!"
Apple Bloom clambers out of the hole, scrunching hard.
"Ah know, Ah know! Do you really have to yell at me in front of a stallion?"
Applejack blinks, then tips her hat to you, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
"Beggin' you're pardon, Anon. Sorry you had to hear all that. Can Ah get you anything?"
You smile and wave your hand dismissively.
"It's fine, I don't mind. I would like two dozen apples, though."
Applejack's hat rises in surprise.
"That'll be four bits, but uh, Ah can't help but notice you forgot your saddlebags. How about Apple Bloom helps carry 'em to where you going?"
You pay the mare and eye the pile of apples.
"That's not a bad idea. Lemme just..."
You pull the hem of your shirt up, and scoop about half the apples into the makeshift sling. Applejack's eyes flicker from the lumpy dip in your shirt to your face.
"Maybe Ah should just carry them all myself? Ah'd hate to stretch out a colt's clothes like that for no good reason."
You shake your head.
"Nah, don't worry about it, you still have a stall to run."
Then you look down at your t-shirt and shrug.
"The damage is done, and Rarity will only try to kill me a little. Ready, Apple Bloom?"
The filly salutes.
"Yes sir! The cargo is locked and loaded!"
You nod at her.
"Autotrots, roll out!"
Then you give Applejack a nod and a smile as you set off.
"See you around, Applejack."
She tips her hat.
"Be careful not to fall in some mare's hole, alright?"
You call out over your shoulder,
"No promises!"
She just chuckles and waves.
You can't help but watch Apple Bloom waddle along, her saddlebags almost dragging on the ground.
"You alright down there?"
She holds her head high and puffs out her little chest-tuft.
"Ain't no need to worry about me, Ah'm a big, strong mare! 'Sides, Ah carry way more apples at a time back home."
You adjust your shirt and move one of the apples closer to the middle of the pile.
"Really? How many can you handle?"
Apple Bloom chews on her lip.
"Uh, fourteen, Ah reckon."
You let out a low whistle.
"That's a lot!"
Apple Bloom beams at you.
"You betcha! Granny says it won't be long before Ah can pull the wagon!"
You shake your head. You've tried pulling that wagon, it's pretty heavy. Then again, Earth Ponies are considerably stronger than they look.
"They grow up so fast."
Apple Bloom nods.
"Granny's been sayin' that too."
As you approach Pinkie's hole, you realize you don't have anything to put the apples on. Well, you can just brush off the dirt.
"Just set them down by that hole, Apple Bloom."
She blinks.
"Oh! Okay."
The filly trots over and peeks over the edge.
"Hi Pinkie Pie!"
You listen to them exchange pleasantries with half an ear as you set your load of apples down. Apple Bloom empties her saddlebags with practiced ease, then gives you a salute.
"Payload delivered, Sir!"
You salute back.
"Payload received, private. You are dismissed. And good luck with your practice!"
Apple Bloom blushes.
"Thanks. Um. I'll leave you two alone now."
She gallops off, and you just shake your head. You shrug, then sit down by the hole.
"Want an apple, Ponko?"
She wiggles her haunches.
"You betcha! Fire at will!"
You toss one down and she leaps to bite it out of the air. You blink, and the whole thing is gone. Pinkie spits out some seeds and a stem.
"Mmm, thanks!"
You honestly can't tell if she's very hungry, or just rather Pinkie.
"No problem. Want another?"
She hums in contemplation.
"Nah, I'm good for now."
You nod.
...
To be honest, you aren't really sure if you should ask about the digging thing, you have no idea how to deal with normal depression, let alone horse depression. You mean, her hole, is just so big. You can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there. You mean geometric, look. It's just so, deep.
"Sooooooooo..."
You blink, pulled out of your reverie.
"Yes?"
"Wanna play I Spy?"
You look down at the cheerful mare, then the hole which cuts off most of her line of sight.
"...Sure."
Pinkie rubs her hooves together in anticipation.
"Okie dokie! I spy, with my all-seeing eye... something brown!"
Surely it's not the obvious thing.
"Is it the shaft of the shovel?"
She giggles.
"Nope! Guess again!"
...
"Is it dirt?"
She gasps.
"How did you know?"
You look at her with a deadpan expression.
"Psychic powers."
Her eyes go wide.
"Woooooooow, that's amazing! Okay, your turn!"
You look around. It's a fair bet that she knows the shops and landmarks around here.
"I spy something white."
Pinkie sits in lotus position, her forehooves pressed against her temples.
"Clouds?"
"Nope."
"My teeth?"
"That's a negatory, pink friend."
"Sugar Cube Corner!"
"Yup. Your turn."
Her eyes dart around the hole.
"I spy with my third eye... something cute!"
Your heart sinks. You just got tricked, backstabbed, or quite possibly, bamboozled. Something Pinkie Pie finds cute? That could be anything!
"The shovel?"
"Nuh-uh!"
"The clouds?"
"Youplayit, Pinkie on the bottom, nope on top!"
You frown. Pinkie did mention a third eye.
"Apple Bloom 5 minutes ago?"
The party mare giggles.
"No, silly, I can't see her right now."
Well, that doesn't leave many possibilities.
"The dirt again?"
"That'd be a good fake-out, huh. Too bad that's wrong!"
"The sky?"
"Nopers Nonners!"
You sigh.
"I give up. What is it?"
Pinkie grins.
"It's you!"
You groan.
"I totally forgot abo-"
Hold up. She's saying you're cute. You blush, a hand automatically covering your mouth.
"Ehehehe, I spy something pink!"
The folks at immigration told you about this. They said the mares are clever and strike without warning. You should have listened.
"Th-that's not fair!"
"Oho, has somepony finally gotten the better of our favorite janefilly?"
You look to find Rarity trotting towards you with an amused smile. Pinkie jumps up above the rim of the hole.
"Hi Rarity!"
She falls back down, then jumps again.
"Isn't he the cutest?"
You purse your lips, not sure what kind of face you'll make.
"I am not cute."
Rarity raises an eyebrow, wearing a smug smile.
"Truly? This is news to me, Darling. At any rate, I thought I would drop by when I heard Pinkie was digging, but I see you have the situation well in hoof, or hand as it were."
Pinkie jumps again.
"Thanks! I-"
Jump.
"Appreciate it!"
Rarity seems about to leave, but you speak.
"Say, do all ponies have digging days? Unicorns and pegasi too?"
Rarity flicks her tail.
"We do have something similar. Pegasi build nests out of colorful and shiny things. After Rainbow Dash raided my inspiration room, I just leave a box of scraps and gem shards outside."
You smile.
"That's nice of you. What about unicorns then?"
She examines her forehoof, her tail swishing back and forth in a way you recognize as embarrassment.
"We, ah, find the highest perch we can and consider our place in the universe."
Pinkie Pie flops halfway onto the rim of the hole.
"I remember that! You were on top of Town Hall and were all like, 'Wahahaha! Cower before me, unfabulous mortals!' "
Rarity blushes.
"Yes, well. I really must get going. It was good to see you, Anon, and I'm glad you're feeling better, Pinkie."
Pinkie wiggles her forehooves.
"Bye bye, dark mistress of fashion!"
You pat Rarity's withers.
"It's too late for me, flee while you still can."
She shakes her head.
"If you two had a colt, he would rival Discord for whimsy. Good luck Darlings!"
Rarity vanishes in a burst of sparkles and high class laughter. You roll your eyes.
"Like she's one to talk about whimsy. Right, Panko Pe?"
"R-right."
You look down to see Pinkie blushing like a tomato, slowly sliding back into the hole. You poke her cheek.
"You alright there?"
She squeaks, flails, then falls down with a thump.
"Oh crap!"
You hurriedly drop down after her. Pinkie winces, rubbing her flank.
"Good thing I got so much cushion in my tush-in!"
She laughs a little shakily. You frown in concern.
"Should I go get a doctor or something?"
She gets to her hooves, wincing.
"Nah, I think my fruity patooty is just bruised. Wanna kiss it better?"
You roll your eyes.
"It certainly sounds like you'll be fine."
Pinkie grins .
"Worth a try!"
She almost goes to sit down again, then winces. You frown, sitting down cross-legged and patting your lap.
"Come here, lay down. It's better than the dirt."
She blushes lightly and trots over. It takes her a little to get comfortable, rolling onto her back and wiggling a bit. The mare is kinda heavy and warm, but it's not so bad.You automatically start rubbing her belly, and she positively melts.
"That better?"
Penka Po hums in contentment.
"Mmm, yeah, that's the stuff."
For your part, you still can't get over how soft and smooth their fur is. You lose track of time, just petting her fur and watching her twitch a leg from time to time. It's comfortable, in the shade of the hole wall, listening to the murmur of passing ponies going about their day. Eventually, your arm gets tired, and you just rest your hand on her soft tummy.
"Nonny?"
"Yeah, Pinkie?"
Her stomach growls.
"I could go for another apple right now."
You nod seriously, only smiling a little bit.
"So I hear. But you'll have to get off my lap if you want me to get you one."
She pouts.
"But this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, Nonny! If I leave your lap now, I might never get to get your sweet, sweet belly rubs again!"
You hum in contemplation.
"That is a pretty difficult problem there, Ponks. What if, now hear me out, we eat some food, then I sit down and you lay in my lap, and belly rubs happen again?"
She squints at you, rubbing her chin.
"That just might work!"
You chuckle.
"It's crazy, I know. But I think we can pull it off."
Prencissa Piana rolls onto her hooves, bouncing in place as you get to your feet. You stare up at the rim of the hole, just high enough that you will have some trouble getting up.
"In retrospect, I should have brought a ladder or something."
Pinkie puffs out her chest tuft.
"We don't need a ladder, you've got me!"
You blink.
"That's true, I'll just-"
She jumps completely out of the hole, then turns around and reaches out a foreleg to you.
"-grab on, I guess."
"Yuppers!"
You reach up and put one hand on the rim, and hold on to her foreleg with the other.
"One, two, thr-"
Pynekey Poi hauls you up with a grunt, and you actually catch some air before you land on your feet. You shake your head in awe.
"Dang, girl. You're freaking strong!"
She grins.
"You betcha! Ain't no mare like an earth pony party mare!"
You dust off your pants.
"I'll say."
You bend down, pick up an apple, and dust it off on your shirt.
"Thanks, Pinkie."
You toss it to her. She snaps it out of the air, caught between her teeth.
"Wou're wewow, wowwy!"
You chuckle and start cleaning off an apple of your own. Between the two of you, you manage to finish off about a third of what you bought. Pinkie licks the apple juice from off her lips. You crack your neck.
"Well, shall we go back down, Pinkie?"
She tilts her head, tail twitching a little.
"Mmm, I don't think so. I'm not feeling hole-y mole-y anymore."
You smile.
"Glad to hear it. What are you going to do now?"
She chews on her lip, blushing lightly.
"Well, I might have to do some special preparations, depending."
You start picking up the apples.
"Oh? Depending on what?"
Pinkie Pie takes a deep breath, then looks you straight in the eye.
"If you would like to go on a date with me."
You blink in surprise, not even sure what to think. But you feel a warmth in your chest that tells you all you need to know.
"Yeah, Pinkie. I think I would like that."
Her eyes go wide, and her mane inflates almost to the breaking point.
"R-really?"
You smile, feeling your face warm up.
"Yeah, really. You're a fun mare, and I like hanging out with you."
Pinkie grins, vibrating in place.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is really happening! Okay, well, I gotta get everything ready, so I gotta go and do that and and-"
You boop her nose.
"Just let me know when you're picking me up, okay?"
She comes to a stop and takes a deep breath.
"Be ready by eight! And bring a rubber chicken!"
You nod.
"Eight, and rubber chicken. Got it."
She squeals happily and disappears in a puff of smoke. You shake your head at her antics, a smile stuck on your face. You turn to look at the hole, but it's mysteriously filled in. When? You had your eyes on her the entire time! Maybe she wasn't vibrating, you were only seeing her afterimage?
...
No, no use trying to figure it out. Anyways, you have a rubber chicken to buy and a date to go on. You pick up the rest of the apples and set off, a vibrant warmth lingering in your chest long after you get back home.
"Uh, Mrs. Cake? Pinkie is digging a hole outside the shop. Thought you should know."
Mrs. Cake sighs and shakes her head.
"Poor mare. I remember my digging days, it felt like it would go on forever."
I raise my eyebrows.
"So this is something ponies just...do?"
The baker nods.
"There comes a time in a mare's life when you feel empty, like a shore without a sea. Digging a hole helps fill the space in your heart, a little bit. And if some handsome stallion happens to climb in..."
I tilt my head.
"I think I get it. So, uh, is there anything we can do for Pinkie? It doesn't sound like a fun time."
Mrs. Cake grins.
"Nothing I can do, but I think she would love to hear how concerned you are about her."
I roll my eyes.
"Subtle. Still, what kind of friend would I be if I left her alone like this?"
Mrs. Cake smiles fondly at me.
"You're a good colt, Anon. Never change."
I stare down into the 6ft deep hole. Pinkie is swaying, her limp curls of her mane inflating and deflating. I glance around, but most ponies either ignore it, or send pitying looks at the hole. I sigh, then sit cross-legged at the edge.
"You alright, Ponks?"
She looks up at me with wide eyes.
"Nonners? I mean, haha, yeah! Just, uh, just wanted to see what the dirt was like, you know, for party planning!"
I raise my eyebrows.
"That's some deep preparations."
Pinkie Pie giggles, her mane inflating a bit more than usual.
"Yup! You have to plan the hole thing out in advance!"
I chuckle
"Well, I don't want to dig too deep into your business."
The party mare wiggles her hoof in a so-so gesture.
"Ehhhhhh, half points for using "deep" again. Anywhoodles, what brings you to my dig doodles?"
I scratch my cheek.
"Mrs. Cake told me a little about digging days? I don't entirely get it, but I figured you could use some company to keep your mind off things."
Pinkie beams at me.
"That's super de-duper sweet! And I would know!"
I grin.
"Thanks, Ponks. Hey, I'm going to go get some grub, then I'll be right back."
Pinkie wiggles happily.
"Good idea! I'll be right here, so come back quick!"
I can't help but get caught up in her cheerfulness. I get up with a grunt and start jogging towards the Apple stall. I'm going to need a decent amount of food, and it has to be cheap and able to drop a fair distance, so apples it is. Even though the mare can eat like Scooby Doo, I suspect she has a stomach of holding just for desserts. When it comes to healthy foods, she just eats normal amounts.
Baffling. Of course, after a few headaches, I followed the local wisdom and just stopped trying to figure out Pi- I stumble, skipping a bit to stop from falling on my face.
"Look at what you just did, Bloom! You nearly made Anon hurt himself!"
I turn around to find Applejack glare over the counter of her stall at a pothole. The pothole replies dejectedly,
"Ah'm sorry, Anon. Ah didn't mean to do you no harm."
I look down to find Apple Bloom at the bottom of a two-foot deep hole.
"Uh, right. This that digging days thing again?"
Applejack rolls her eyes.
"No it ain't, she just wanted to get some practice in. An' she'll fill that hole right back in if she knows what's good for her!"
Apple Bloom clambers out of the hole, scrunching hard.
"Ah know, Ah know! Do you really have to yell at me in front of a stallion?"
Applejack blinks, then tips her hat to me, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
"Beggin' you're pardon, Anon. Sorry you had to hear all that. Can Ah get you anything?"
I smile and wave my hand dismissively.
"It's fine, I don't mind. I would like two dozen apples, though."
Applejack's hat rises in surprise.
"That'll be four bits, but uh, Ah can't help but notice you forgot your saddlebags. How about Apple Bloom helps carry 'em to where you going?"
I pay the mare and eye the pile of apples.
"That's not a bad idea. Lemme just..."
I pull the hem of my shirt up, and scoop about half the apples into the makeshift sling. Applejack's eyes flicker from the lumpy dip in my shirt to my face.
"Maybe Ah should just carry them all myself? Ah'd hate to stretch out a colt's clothes like that for no good reason."
I shake my head.
"Nah, don't worry about it, you still have a stall to run."
Then I look down at my t-shirt and shrug.
"The damage is done, and Rarity will only try to kill me a little. Ready, Apple Bloom?"
The filly salutes.
"Yes sir! The cargo is locked and loaded!"
I nod at her.
"Autotrots, roll out!"
Then I give Applejack a nod and a smile as I set off.
"See you around, Applejack."
She tips her hat.
"Be careful not to fall in some mare's hole, alright?"
I call out over my shoulder,
"No promises!"
She just chuckles and waves.
I can't help but watch Apple Bloom waddle along, her saddlebags almost dragging on the ground.
"You alright down there?"
She holds her head high and puffs out her little chest-tuft.
"Ain't no need to worry about me, Ah'm a big, strong mare! 'Sides, Ah carry way more apples at a time back home."
I adjust my shirt and move one of the apples closer to the middle of the pile.
"Really? How many can you handle?"
Apple Bloom chews on her lip.
"Uh, fourteen, Ah reckon."
I let out a low whistle.
"That's a lot!"
Apple Bloom beams at me.
"You betcha! Granny says it won't be long before Ah can pull the wagon!"
I shake my head. I've tried pulling that wagon, it's pretty heavy. Then again, Earth Ponies are considerably stronger than they look.
"They grow up so fast."
Apple Bloom nods.
"Granny's been sayin' that too."
As I approach Pinkie's hole, I realize I don't have anything to put the apples on. Well, I can just brush off the dirt.
"Just set them down by that hole, Apple Bloom."
She blinks.
"Oh! Okay."
The filly trots over and peeks over the edge.
"Hi Pinkie Pie!"
I listen to them exchange pleasantries with half an ear as I set my load of apples down. Apple Bloom empties her saddlebags with practiced ease, then gives me a salute.
"Payload delivered, Sir!"
I salute back.
"Payload received, private. You are dismissed. And good luck with your practice!"
Apple Bloom blushes.
"Thanks. Um. I'll leave you two alone now."
She gallops off, and I just shake my head. I shrug, then sit down by the hole.
"Want an apple, Ponko?"
She wiggles her haunches.
"You betcha! Fire at will!"
I toss one down and she leaps to bite it out of the air. I blink, and the whole thing is gone. Pinkie spits out some seeds and a stem.
"Mmm, thanks!"
I honestly can't tell if she's very hungry, or just rather Pinkie.
"No problem. Want another?"
She hums in contemplation.
"Nah, I'm good for now."
I nod.
...
To be honest, I'm not really sure if I should ask about the digging thing, I have no idea how to deal with normal depression, let alone horse depression. I mean, her hole, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there. I mean geometric, look. It's just so, deep.
"Sooooooooo..."
I blink, pulled out of my reverie.
"Yes?"
"Wanna play I Spy?"
I look down at the cheerful mare, then the hole which cuts off most of her line of sight.
"...Sure."
Pinkie rubs her hooves together in anticipation.
"Okie dokie! I spy, with my all-seeing eye... something brown!"
Surely it's not the obvious thing.
"Is it the shaft of the shovel?"
She giggles.
"Nope! Guess again!"
...
"Is it dirt?"
She gasps.
"How did you know?"
I look at her with a deadpan expression.
"Psychic powers."
Her eyes go wide.
"Woooooooow, that's amazing! Okay, your turn!"
I look around. It's a fair bet that she knows the shops and landmarks around here.
"I spy something white."
Pinkie sits in lotus position, her forehooves pressed against her temples.
"Clouds?"
"Nope."
"My teeth?"
"That's a negatory, pink friend."
"Sugar Cube Corner!"
"Yup. Your turn."
Her eyes dart around the hole.
"I spy with my third eye... something cute!"
My heart sinks. I just got tricked, backstabbed, or quite possibly, bamboozled. Something Pinkie Pie finds cute? That could be anything!
"The shovel?"
"Nuh-uh!"
"The clouds?"
"Youplayit, Pinkie on the bottom, nope on top!"
I frown. Pinkie did mention a third eye.
"Apple Bloom 5 minutes ago?"
The party mare giggles.
"No, silly, I can't see her right now."
Well, that doesn't leave many possibilities.
"The dirt again?"
"That'd be a good fake-out, huh. Too bad that's wrong!"
"The sky?"
"Nopers Nonners!"
I sigh.
"I give up. What is it?"
Pinkie grins.
"It's you!"
I groan.
"I totally forgot abo-"
Hold up. She's saying I'm cute. I blush, a hand automatically covering my mouth.
"Ehehehe, I spy something pink!"
The folks at immigration told me about this. They said the mares are clever and strike without warning. I should have listened.
"Th-that's not fair!"
"Oho, has somepony finally gotten the better of our favorite janefilly?"
I look to find Rarity trotting towards me with an amused smile. Pinkie jumps up above the rim of the hole.
"Hi Rarity!"
She falls back down, then jumps again.
"Isn't he the cutest?"
I purse my lips, not sure what kind of face I'll make.
"I am not cute."
Rarity raises an eyebrow, wearing a smug smile.
"Truly? This is news to me, Darling. At any rate, I thought I would drop by when I heard Pinkie was digging, but I see you have the situation well in hoof, or hand as it were."
Pinkie jumps again.
"Thanks! I-"
Jump.
"Appreciate it!"
Rarity seems about to leave, but I speak.
"Say, do all ponies have digging days? Unicorns and pegasi too?"
Rarity flicks her tail.
"We do have something similar. Pegasi build nests out of colorful and shiny things. After Rainbow Dash raided my inspiration room, I just leave a box of scraps and gem shards outside."
I smile.
"That's nice of you. What about unicorns then?"
She examines her forehoof, her tail swishing back and forth in a way I recognize as embarrassment.
"We, ah, find the highest perch we can and consider our place in the universe."
Pinkie Pie flops halfway onto the rim of the hole.
"I remember that! You were on top of Town Hall and were all like, 'Wahahaha! Cower before me, unfabulous mortals!' "
Rarity blushes.
"Yes, well. I really must get going. It was good to see you, Anon, and I'm glad you're feeling better, Pinkie."
Pinkie wiggles her forehooves.
"Bye bye, dark mistress of fashion!"
I pat Rarity's withers.
"It's too late for me, flee while you still can."
She shakes her head.
"If you two had a colt, he would rival Discord for whimsy. Good luck Darlings!"
Rarity vanishes in a burst of sparkles and high class laughter. I roll my eyes.
"Like she's one to talk about whimsy. Right, Panko Pe?"
"R-right."
I look down to see Pinkie blushing like a tomato, slowly sliding back into the hole. I poke her cheek.
"You alright there?"
She squeaks, flails, then falls down with a thump.
"Oh crap!"
I hurriedly drop down after her. Pinkie winces, rubbing her flank.
"Good thing I got so much cushion in my tush-in!"
She laughs a little shakily. I frown in concern.
"Should I go get a doctor or something?"
She gets to her hooves, wincing.
"Nah, I think my fruity patooty is just bruised. Wanna kiss it better?"
I roll my eyes.
"It certainly sounds like you'll be fine."
Pinkie grins .
"Worth a try!"
She almost goes to sit down again, then winces. I frown, sitting down cross-legged and patting my lap.
"Come here, lay down. It's better than the dirt."
She blushes lightly and trots over. It takes her a little to get comfortable, rolling onto her back and wiggling a bit. The mare is kinda heavy and warm, but it's not so bad. I automatically start rubbing her belly, and she positively melts.
"That better?"
Penka Po hums in contentment.
"Mmm, yeah, that's the stuff."
For my part, I still can't get over how soft and smooth their fur is. I lose track of time, just petting her fur and watching her twitch a leg from time to time. It's comfortable, in the shade of the hole wall, listening to the murmur of passing ponies going about their day. Eventually, my arm gets tired, and I just rest my hand on her soft tummy.
"Nonny?"
"Yeah, Pinkie?"
Her stomach growls.
"I could go for another apple right now."
I nod seriously, only smiling a little bit.
"So I hear. But you'll have to get off my lap if you want me to get you one."
She pouts.
"But this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, Nonny! If I leave your lap now, I might never get to get your sweet, sweet belly rubs again!"
I hum in contemplation.
"That is a pretty difficult problem there, Ponks. What if, now hear me out, we eat some food, then I sit down and you lay in my lap, and belly rubs happen again?"
She squints at me, rubbing her chin.
"That just might work!"
I chuckle.
"It's crazy, I know. But I think we can pull it off."
Prencissa Piana rolls onto her hooves, bouncing in place as I get to my feet. I stare up at the rim of the hole, just high enough that I will have some trouble getting up.
"In retrospect, I should have brought a ladder or something."
Pinkie puffs out her chest tuft.
"We don't need a ladder, you've got me!"
I blink.
"That's true, I'll just-"
She jumps completely out of the hole, then turns around and reaches out a foreleg to me.
"-grab on, I guess."
"Yuppers!"
I reach up and put one hand on the rim, and hold on to her foreleg with the other.
"One, two, thr-"
Pynekey Poi hauls me up with a grunt, and I actually catch some air before I land on my feet. I shake my head in awe.
"Dang, girl. You're freaking strong!"
She grins.
"You betcha! Ain't no mare like an earth pony party mare!"
I dust off my pants.
"I'll say."
I bend down, pick up an apple, and dust it off on my shirt.
"Thanks, Pinkie."
I toss it to her. She snaps it out of the air, caught between her teeth.
"Wou're wewow, wowwy!"
I chuckle and start cleaning off an apple of my own. Between the two of us, we manage to finish off about a third of what I bought. Pinkie licks the apple juice from off her lips. I crack my neck.
"Well, shall we go back down, Pinkie?"
She tilts her head, tail twitching a little.
"Mmm, I don't think so. I'm not feeling hole-y mole-y anymore."
I smile.
"Glad to hear it. What are you going to do now?"
She chews on her lip, blushing lightly.
"Well, I might have to do some special preparations, depending."
I start picking up the apples.
"Oh? Depending on what?"
Pinkie Pie takes a deep breath, then looks me straight in the eye.
"If you would like to go on a date with me."
I blink in surprise, not even sure what to think. But I feel a warmth in my chest that tells me all I need to know.
"Yeah, Pinkie. I think I would like that."
Her eyes go wide, and her mane inflates almost to the breaking point.
"R-really?"
I smile, feeling my face warm up.
"Yeah, really. You're a fun mare, and I like hanging out with you."
Pinkie grins, vibrating in place.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is really happening! Okay, well, I gotta get everything ready, so I gotta go and do that and and-"
I boop her nose.
"Just let me know when you're picking me up, okay?"
She comes to a stop and takes a deep breath.
"Be ready by eight! And bring a rubber chicken!"
I nod.
"Eight, and rubber chicken. Got it."
She squeals happily and disappears in a puff of smoke. I shake my head at her antics, a smile stuck on my face. I turn to look at the hole, but it's mysteriously filled in. When? I had my eyes on her the entire time! Maybe she wasn't vibrating, I was only seeing her afterimage?
...
No, no use trying to figure it out. Anyways, I have a rubber chicken to buy and a date to go on. I pick up the rest of the apples and set off, a vibrant warmth lingering in my chest long after I get back home.
