Pinkie Predicts Predicaments

by Snapple Jack

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, Slice of Life, Zecora, Main 6, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4611

Pinkie ditches the partying business and switches to fortune telling. But it doesn't go as planned.

When Mrs. Cake snaps on Pinkie Pie, she decides to find a new talent. So, she turns into a fortune teller... no, for reals this time. Pinkie promises. But it turns out the fortune telling business isn't all that it's cracked up to be. (Slightly sad... only slightly.)

Published 2012-08-21 05:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-21 05:54:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Pinkie Predicts Predicaments

By Snapple Jack

The smell of freshly baked goodies filled Sugar Cube Corner. Today was a very important day for treats. Today was Twilight's birthday. And Mr. and Mrs. Cake knew that they just had to make it special. And Pinkie wanted to help.

"Careful Honey Bun." Mr. Cake said, watching his wife putting on the icing. Looking to see that there were no mistakes or screw ups.

Mrs. Cake slowly but cautiously squeezed the icing onto the almost completed cake. All she had to do was finish the last little word and she would b-

"Hellooooooooooooooo Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" Pinkie shouted as she hopped merrily to her party room with supplies in mouth.

"Oh I can't look. Did it come out okay Sweet Pea?" Mrs. Cake asked, covering her eyes from her possibly ruined cake.

Even Mr. Cake didn't want to look. But if he didn't look, nopony would. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a perfect looking cake.

He sighed with relief, "It's fine Hun."

"Oh thank Princess Celestia. I was sure that Pinkie would come in, scare the jibbers outta me, and make me mess up the cake." Mrs. Cake said, wiping away the sweat beads that were pouring down her forehead.

"Well, we better get this upstair-"

"Hi again!" Pinkie said from behind, almost making the cake drop.

"Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake screamed in anger.

"Yes Mrs. Cake?"

Mrs. Cake was about to yell at Pinkie in pure rage but stopped herself and put on a smile.

"Now Pinkie Pie. We've been up all night with no sleep making this cake. I'm a little agitated at the moment from the lack of rest and pressure. So if you could just kindly keep out of the way so me and Mr. Cake can put the cake upstairs, I would gladly appreciate it."

"Oh you don't have to do that. I can get the cake upstairs."

"No Pinkie Pie. I don't think you could handle this sort of thing."

"I can do it! Just pleeeeeeeease give me a chance. Please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Pinkie asked, getting on her knees with a puppy dog face.

Mrs. Cake sighed, "Alright Pinkie. But I want this to be very very clear. Do. Not. Drop. That. Cake."

"You can count me! Your responsible em-ploy-ee Pin-kie."

"Alrighty then. I trust you Pinkie. Don't let me d-" Just then, there was a loud crashing of pots and pans in the babies room.

"No no no Pound Cake!" Mr. Cake yelled, heading straight to the noises, Mrs. Cake following behind.

Pinkie wanted to help, but she knew that the cake had to get upstairs ASAP. She carefully grabbed the end of the tray with her teeth and slowly made her way to the stairs. With every step she took, the cake seemed to grow heavier and heavier. Heavy things aren't easy to hold in your mouth. But she wanted to make The Cakes proud. And she couldn't let Twilight down. Not on her birthday. Oh no no no no no no.

She was so close. Just a few more steps and she would be upstairs, with a perfect birthday cake.

"Just... a few... more... steps..." Pinkie managed to mumble out, but it sounded more like 'Jmph... amph... mph... stmephs...'

One hoof in front of the other, onto the very last step. She had made it in. Pinkie was finally in the party room. Now all she had to do was place the cake on the table and all her hard work would pay off. The Cakes would be proud, Twilight would get to eat her cake, and everypony would be happy. All thanks to Pinkie's amazing tray holding abilities. It was going to be great.

"Pinkie Pie! We knew you could do it! Is there any way we can thank you?" Mrs. Cake said, kissing Pinkie's hooves in appreciation.

"Oh no need. Just an average day for helping ponies." Pinkie said, as she fixed her 'Pinkie Saved the Day Again' crown she had won for saving the day.

"Pinkie, this is the greatest birthday ever." Twilight said, as she nomed on Pinkie's mane.

"Umm... Twi? Any particular reason why you're eating my mane?"

"Oh... no reason." Twilight said, with the face of... Gummy?

"Gmphy! Gmt mph mph manph!" Pinkie mumbled, trying to shake Gummy off her mane. But it seemed the more she shook. the more the cake was at risk of falling. Then again, she couldn't risk Gummy getting hurt if he were to lose his grip and fall off. She didn't want her pet getting hurt, but she also didn't want the cake to be destroyed. Cake? Gummy? Cake? Gummy? C-

SPLAT!

Purple and white icing went everywhere. The walls, the floor, the table, Pinkie's face. All though, Pinkie didn't really seem to mind icing on her face. In fact, she licked it off herself.

"Mmmmmm, purpley goodness."

Pinkie wiped aside the ruined cake to see if her baby alligator was okay. "Gummy? You alright bud?" She asked, picking him up and wiping away the icing from his eyes. Gummy responded with a lick of Pinkie's face to eat the very last bit of icing that was left. He was okay... but unfortunately, the cake wasn't so lucky.

"Uh ohhhhh."

"Ahhhhh!" A familiar shriek came from a few feet behind.

"Pinkieeeeee! What did you do?!" Mrs. Cake said, running up to see what happened to her beautiful cake.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Well I guess that just makes everything fine!"

"Oh good! I thought you were mad at me or something."

"I am mad! Furious! This cake took me all night to make! And you ruined it in less then a minute!"

"I... I know that you took a long time to make it. And I really didn't mean to drop it. But Gummy-"

"Don't give me excuses Pinkie Pie! Excuses aren't going to make a new cake you know!"

"I... I..."

"Your special talent isn't partying! It's messing things up! Do me a favor, and go out for awhile okay?!"

"Oh... o- okay." Pinkie said, walking out the door with her head hung low. She did it. She ruined everything. The party, the cake... everything. It was her fault Twilight wasn't going to have an amazing birthday and she knew it. She failed.

Pinkie was about to close the door with baby alligator in mane, but not before taking one last look at the mess she made. She saw Mrs. Cake sweeping the cake in a dust pan with anger. She couldn't take it anymore. Pinkie didn't want to see anymore. She quietly closed the door and left. She didn't know where she was going, but as long as it was far away. Maybe the Everfree forest?

Mrs. Cake threw the squished treat in the trash and slammed the lid. She sighed to herself and berried her head in her hooves.

"You know, you didn't need to be so harsh." Mr. Cake said, coming in from behind.

"Leave me alone for a minute."

"No. You know Pinkie didn't mean to mess up the cake. You knew it was an accident. You knew. Your actions may have cost me a hard working employee. And that is completely inexcusable. I mean... you said it yourself. Excuses don't make everything alright."

"... Perhaps I was a little bit hard on her?"

"A little bit? You sure it wasn't a lot, cupcake?"

Mrs. Cake thought for a moment.

"Yeah... it was a lot. Oh I feel so awful. How am I going to say sorry to Pinkie after the way I treated her?"

"Well, I'm sure when she comes back, she'll forgive you."

"If she ever comes back."

"She will. I promise." Mr. Cake said, comforting his wife in her time of need.

~

Pinkie walked through the Everfree forest, thinking about what she did. She felt so awful. She didn't mean to do what she did. It was an accident. But apparently a very big one. Mrs. Cake had never yelled at anypony like that before. Not to her at least.

"Maybe she's right Gummy? Maybe my special talent isn't partying. Maybe it is messing everything up... but it doesn't have to be... right?" Pinkie asked, having gained a little bit more faith.

Gummy blinked.

"You're right Gummy! My special talent doesn't have to be ruining everything! But... it's obvious that my special talent isn't partying. So... maybe there's something else I'm good at? Right?"

Gummy blinked yet again.

"Right! So I'll just have to find my talent all over again! That shouldn't be that hard right?!"

Gummy wiggled his tail.

"Right!"

"What is all this yelling that I hear?" A voice echoed close by.

Pinkie grabbed Gummy and held him close, hoping she wouldn't get eaten.

"Pinkie! What are you doing here?"

"Zecora! Oh thank Celestia it's you! I thought you were some giant. Or a timber wolf! Maybe even an elephant! I dunno! Something big and scary! But you're not! You're just a zebra!" Pinkie said with relief.

"I am not a giant, you see. It's just little old me. What brings you to the forest, Miss Pie? Please tell me, I must know why."

"Weeeeeeell... can you do me a favor?"

"A request is certainly something I can do. I just don't want bite off more than I can chew."

"Oh it doesn't involve eating silly. I'm actually looking for new talent! So, can you fix up my cutie mark? Maybe something like uhhh... firefighting? Or tiger taming? Ooo! I always wanted to be a dancer! Can you make my cutie mark a pair of dance shoes?"

Zecora gave Pinkie a confused look. "A cutie mark, I cannot change. But a new special talent can be arranged."

"Really?! Oh thank you so so so so so much!" Pinkie shouted with excitement, as she followed Zecora back to her hut.

~

"Ooooooh... lots of neat stuff ya got here Zecora." Pinkie said, poking one of the masks. She had been in Zecora's house before, but she was so convinced that she was some or of 'evil enchantress' that she barely took the time to look at the beautiful scenery.

Zecora didn't respond. She had to quickly put the herbs in her brew before the whole batch was ruined.

While she was doing that, Pinkie Pie took a look around. There were potions, masks, really big pots, herbs, a crystal ball, some dusty old books... wait. A crystal ball?

"Hey Zecora! I didn't know you read fortunes!"

"Oh that? That is merely for show. Now I have some other things you may want to give a go."

"Of course! How could I have not seen it before?! My special talent is fortune telling! I mean, I did it for about an entire day! It's perfect!"

"Now hold on there little one, the risks you take with this cannot be undone. For the path you choose is a dangerous way. Turn back now or forever be-" Zecora turned back to see no Pinkie Pie or crystal ball. Just nothingness. She shrugged it off and got back to her brew.

~

The party was a success, as it always is. Everypony having a good time, playing their party games, drinking some punch, the works. It was a blast. But... something seemed missing.

"Hey girls, has anypony seen Pinkie Pie? She never misses a party." Twilight asked her friends, who were too busy having a good time to notice Pinkie wasn't there.

"Can't say that ah have." Applejack replied, just finishing her slice of cake.

"Sorry darling, I haven't seen her." Said Rarity, sipping her punch in an elegant manner.

"Well I'm not opening a single present until all my friends have arrived." Twilight said, trotting off to go ask the Cakes if they knew where she went.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were down stairs, taking care of the babies.

"Hello? I don't mean to interrupt, but have you seen Pinkie anywhere?"

"She didn't come back?" Asked Mrs. Cake, with worry in her voice.

Twilight shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"No I don't. Oh honey bear do you think she's alright?"

"She's fine sweet tart. Pinkie Pie can handle anything."

"Well... if you say so."

"I'm going to go find her. She wouldn't want to miss out on a par-"

"Come one! Come all! And be amazed by Madame Pinkie's amazing fortune telling skills! See whats in store for you!" A loud voice echoed from outside.

Twilight ran out to see what was going on. When she got out, she saw a tent outside. Next to it, was a sign with a crystal ball in front, scented herbs that gave off a hypnotizing smell, and... wait a minute. Why did this all look familiar?

Twilight entered the tent. "Um... Pinkie Pie? Are you in here?"

"Who is this 'Pinkie Pie' you speak of? I am Madame Pinkie. Teller of the future. Come in. Take a seat. And let me work my magic." Madame Pinkie said, trying to sound as spooky as possible.

"Pinkie Pie, I know it's you. We've been over this before." Twilight said.

"There's that name you keep bringing up. I don't think you know who this really is. Gee, am I really that good at disguise? Heh, who would have thought?"

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight shouted in annoyance.

Madame Pinkie gave out a giggle. "Aw, you caught me. How did you know?"

"We've. Done this. Before!"

"Pinkie Pie! It's so good to see that you're okay! Thank Princess Celestia's morning sun!" Mrs. Cake said, as she went over to hug Madame Pinkie.

"Oh hello Mrs. Cake! Listen, I just wanted to thank you!"

"Thank me? For what?"

"For opening my eyes! You see, when you said my special talent is messing things up, I had an epiphaflea!"

"Epiphany?" Twilight interrupted.

"Exactly! Epiphaflea. Anyway, I understood what you said. My special talent isn't partying. But it doesn't have to be messing things up either. So I became what I really wanted to be!"

"A... gypsy?" Mrs. Cake asked in confusion.

"No silly. A fortune teller!"

Mrs. Cake gave a slightly nervous laugh. "Oh Pinkie. You can't possibly be serious. You aren't being serious right?"

"I'm very serious Mrs. Cake. This is something I want to do! This is something I have to do. It's like destiny missed the turn to Pinkieville, had to turn back, and is now just starting to pull in the driveway. Now if you'll excuse me. I open shop tomorrow." Madame Pinkie said, pushing both Twilight and Mrs. Cake out the tent.

"Oh and Twilight..."

Twilight looked back.

"Happy birthday! Hopefully you get your really cool present." Madame Pinkie said, as she slid back into her mysterious chambers.

Both Twilight and Mrs. Cake walked back inside. The party wasn't going to be as enjoyable without Pinkie Pie. But Twilight knew that this would blow over in a day or two. Once Pinkie had her fun and all. Mrs. Cake, on the other hoof, wasn't as positive. This was her fault. If she didn't yell, Pinkie would be inside right now enjoying the party. Oh why did she have to shout? Well, there was nothing she could do right now. Right now, it was dark and she needed some rest.

~

Pinkie laid down on her comfy sitting pillow. She didn't need a bed. Beds were for... for... elephants! Everypony who uses a bed is a big scary elephant. Yeah!

"Oh wow! Rainbow Dash, you shouldn't have!"

Pinkie Pie could overhear the party conversation.

"Gee... it sure sounds like fun."

It did sound like a lot of fun. The music, the dancing, the games... her friends. All having such a good time. Without her.

"Hi Pinkie Pie."

"Rainbow Dash?"

"The one and only."

"Wha... what are you doing here? What about the party?"

"I just wanted to come and check on ya. You seemed lonely. Brought you some cake."

Pinkie was lonely. "That was... really kind of you Dash. Thanks." Pinkie said, grabbing the cake and setting it to the side for later.

"You sure you don't want to come up? Just for a little bit?"

Pinkie thought for a minute. On one hoof, she could go and party with her friends... but... "No thanks Dashie. I gotta work tomorrow."

"Oooooookaaaaaaay... See ya later then!" Rainbow Dash said, as she flew back up to the party.

"Yeah... see ya later."

Pinkie looked over to the cake. It didn't look as good as the old one did. But then again, when you only have two hours to make a brand new one, it's not gonna look as good as one that took a whole night. It still looked scrumptious... maybe one little nibble wouldn't hurt. Pinkie reached her mouth over to the cake and...

"No no no!" Pinkie shouted to herself, resisting the cake's charm.

"It may look good, but that part of your life is over!"

"But it looks sooooooooo amazing!"

"You're stronger than that Pinkie!"

"Just one little wittle bite won't hurt."

"Fight it!"

Pinkie kept fighting herself. The cake was tempting but she was a strong mare. But fighting was a tiring job. Pinkie Pie yawned, fluffed her pillow, and got all snuggly wuggly on her pillow.

~

"Welcome welcome fillies and gentlecolts! Be amazed at Madame Pinkie's amazing ability to read your future! Fame! Fortune! Love! Anything can happen! It's the future!"

Today is the day I finally discover myself! Pinkie thought, as she waited for customers. A stallion placed two bits in Madame Pinkie's fortune box. This is so exciting! My very first customerrrrrrrr!

"Welcome! How can Madame Pinkie help you today?"

"Can you predict my future?"

Madame Pinkie gave a chuckle, "Can I predict your future? That's a good one. Of course Madame Pinkie can predict your future! Come. Let us ask the Magical Orb of Faith's Destiny!"

Madame Pinkie waved her arms at the ball and looked deep into it for the answers.

"Ah yes... I see... I see... you. You're going to have fun with your friends at the beach on Tuesday! Ooooooo!"

The colt gave her a really shallow look. "That's it?"

"Yup."

"You can't tell me if I'm going to find love? Nothing?"

"Nope. Sorry bud. The orb has spoken. Beach fun."

The stallion grabbed his bits back and left.

"Hey! Give me that back!" Madame Pinkie shouted from her tent.

"Fine! I hope you get sunburned at the beach!"

"Excuse me. But is this the fortune teller's place?" A mare asked, with a bag full of groceries.

"Why yes! Yes it is."

"Oh good. I heard the bathroom was near here." The mare said, walking towards the restroom.

"Wait! Don't you want to see what's in your future?!" Madame Pinkie shouted, hoping she would come back.

"Don't bother. She's lousily anyway." The colt from earlier said to the mare, as they walked past each other.

"You stay outta this beach boy!" Pinkie shouted back.

Keep cool Pinkie. If you be calm and wait, costumers will come flying through the door.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!" A tiny voice squeaked, flying through Pinkie's door.

"Pound Cake?!" Pinkie watched Pound Cake flying above her head in circles.

"How did y-"

"Om nom nom nom." Another small voice squeaked at the bottom of her table cloth.

"Pumpkin Cake!" Pinkie said, squishing both the babies to her face. It was so good to see a familiar face. It's been like... seven hours since she saw anypony she knew.

"Uh... Pinkie Pie?" Mr. Cake said, as he and Mrs. Cake peeped through the door.

"The Cakes! What are you doing here?" Pinkie asked, pulling Pumpkin Cake off her really cool hat.

"We wanted to drop by and see how you were doing."

"You... came to check on me?"

"We sure did." Mrs. Cake replied, as she tried to catch Pound Cake before he knocked anything over.

"That... that was... nice of you."

"Well, we couldn't let our responsible employee get all lonely. But you probably wouldn't get lonely with all these costumers that have come in already huh?" Mr. Cake playfully asked.

"Uhh... yeah... sure... Wait. Employee? I don't work at Sugar Cube Corner anymore."

"But you're always welcomed to come back." Mrs. Cake said, holding Pound Cake in one arm and Pumpkin in the other.

Pinkie thought about it for awhile. Sugar Cube Corner was the only home she truly felt welcomed at. Plus, The Cakes did need her... She couldn't just abandon fortune telling though. She's only been at it for half a day.

"Thank you. I'll... think about it."

~

The second day had come by. Pinkie readied her crystal ball for another day of no costumers. She watched the ponies walk by, not even glancing at her tent. It was so boring, that Pinkie began to count how many times she had sighed... sixteen. Her business was failing. In only two days no less.

"Hey! You!" A young stallion said to Pinkie, with a beach ball in hoof and sunscreen on his face.

"Oh, hi beach boy. Had fun?" Pinkie asked, not wanting to deal with his complaints today.

"Yeah I did. You know... that's a really cool talent ya go there."

"Really?" Pinkie asked in surprise.

"Yeah it is. I mean, reading fortunes is a pretty sweet thing."

"What? She can read my fortune?" The mare from yesterday asked.

"Of course she can! She's the super radical Madame Pinkie!" The colt said, tossing his beach ball into the air to only have it pop on his horn.

"Well in that case, can you read mine?" The mare asked, holding out her hoof with two bits.

"Read your what Bon Bon?" A teal mare asked the other mare.

"My fortune. It's really cool."

"I want mine read too!" The mare said, pushing Bon Bon out of the way.

"Wait your turn Lyra!" Bon Bon said, pushing Lyra back.

"Whats going on here?" The mayor asked, as she walking by.

"She can read into the future!" Lyra replied.

"The future? Well this should be fun." The mayor said, getting in line.

Pinkie watched as the costumers kept rolling in. It was amazing! Pretty soon she had made 50 bits. And it wasn't even the end of the day!

~

The third day came. And a line of ponies gathered around to see the amazing Madame Pinkie. She prepared herself. It was going to be a long, and great day.

"Welcome welcome! Have you come to be amazed?" Pinkie asked the first costumer.

"Yes indeedy. Now I have a list of stuff I want you to read me." The costumer said, pulling out a list.

Pinkie answered about half the questions until the crowd started to get rowdy. She had to hurry it up.

"Hey! Can we move along?! I've been standing here for about thirty minutes!" One of the ponies in the crowd shouted.

"Wait your turn!" The costumer in front shouted back.

"Hold on hold on. Madame Pinkie will get to all of you in just a moment." Pinkie replied, still trying to get all the questions answered. She took the list and read as she answered.

"Yes, yes, yes, no, only time will tell, behind the mayonnaise, yes, no, yes, in that outfit?"

"Hurry up!"

"Hey! I've just about had enough of you!"

"Than come over here and teach me a lesson!"

Pretty soon, the whole line started to yell. And Pinkie couldn't do anything about it. She tried, but it was no use. One pony couldn't stop an entire crowd full of angry ponies.

"Uhh... M- Madame Pinkie... needs to take five. Be back in a second!" Pinkie said, as she ran back into her tent. She could still hear the crowd shouting and yelling. And it was all her fault. Oh how could she have been so dumb? If only sh-

SQUISH!

Pinkie looked down at her hooves. She had stepped in the slice of cake Rainbow Dash gave her three nights ago. She had forgotten about that. Well, no need in letting it go to waste. She licked the squashed icing off her hoof. It... tasted... wonderful. It was kinda stale where it had been out in the open for three days but still amazing. She kept licking her hoof. Licking until it was all gone and all that was left was the smashed cake on the plate. Pinkie threw the cake on her face. Oh how it felt good to have some sort of treat on her face. She missed the feeling of cake. She missed her friends. She missed everything.

"Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" A voice shouted outside. Oh yeah... the crowd. Pinkie had forgotten about them. She peered outside. It was Twilight and the rest of her friends.

"Twilight?"

"Listen up! There is no need to fight! I'm sure we can all settle this like normal, civilized ponies."

"Not until I get my turn!"

"It's still my turn bud!"

In no time at all, the crowd, once again, shouted at each other.

"Twilight!" Pinkie said, as she ran up to her friends and gave them a hug.

"Pinkie! What in tarnation are ya'll doing?" Applejack asked.

"I um... I may or may not have quit partying for fortune telling. Please don't hate me."

"Hate you? Darling we don't hate you. We just miss you is all." Said Rarity.

"But... I abandoned you guys for a silly fantasy. You don't have to forgive me. In fact, I don't even forgive myself." Pinkie hung her head in shame.

"Pinkie, we love you. No matter what you do." Twilight said, comforting her friend.

"Please come home Pinkie. We really miss you." Fluttershy said, snuggling up to Pinkie.

"Yeah, we all miss you! Even the cakes!" Rainbow Dash said, flying only a few feet above.

"But... Mrs. Cake hates me. Why would she yell at me like that if she didn't hate me?"

"I'm sure she didn't mean it Pinkie. We all get angry sometimes. But that doesn't mean she hates you. Nopony hates you. We love you and we want you to come back."

Pinkie looked at all her friends. They really did care. And... they want her to come home. But she couldn't come home until she controlled these ponies.

"I'll come home. But first I need to do something." Pinkie said, pushing her friends out of the way and getting up on a box so everypony could hear what she had to say.

"Hey! Everypony!" She shouted at the top her lungs.

The whole crowd turned to see Madame Pinkie.

"You still owe me a turn!"

"Listen for a second! I'm... I'm sorry. But I'm not a real fortune teller!"

The crowd gasped.

"I know... and I'm sorry I lied to you all! But I just wanted to prove that I wasn't a mess up! That I could be anything I wanted and not screw it up. But... I guess I can screw anything up can't I?"

"No Pinkie! You're not a screw up! You're amazing at what you do! And I'm sorry for yelling at you! Just please come home!" Mrs. Cake shouted from the crowd.

"You... want me to come home?" Pinkie said, teary eyed.

"Of course I do! We all do!"

Pinkie wiped away her happy tears. Eveypony loved her and wanted her to come home. Pinkie hopped of the box and ran to her family.

"Group hug!" Pinkie shouted, as everypony gathered for a giant, mushy, lovey dovey hug.

"Hey! What about my turn?!" The impatient stallion shouted, interrupting the hug.

"Uh oh."