Spying is a Two-Pony Job

by TheDriderPony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Bon-Bon, Adventure, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1765

Lyra helps Bon Bon with her covert operations with mixed results.

Eager to help closen their relationship, Lyra tags along on various missions to both assist Bon Bon and learn more about the side of her marefried that she never knew. Sometimes her efforts to help pay off... other times, not so much. But she's not one to let a few setbacks and international diplomatic incidents slow her down!

These are the adventures of Bon Bon and Lyra: Super Spy and Spy-in-Training!

Originally written as a oneshot for the My Little Story Speedwriting Competition (4th edition), but later inspired to become something of an anthology of short adventures. Tags may shift and various characters will come and go.

Cover art provided by NecroHorse.

Published 2019-09-06 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-06 16:50:02 UTC

Suit Up

“Keep it steady, Lyra!” Bon Bon’s harsh whisper cut through the dark void that was Lyra’s world. The unicorn grunted and shifted the heavy weight on her shoulders. When she had been asked to participate in one of her marefriend’s secret missions, this was not what she had had in mind.

“Easy for you to say,” she mumbled back. “At least you can see where we’re going.”

To be perfectly accurate, there was a small window of light into Lyra’s realm of shadows. Two, in fact. Two tiny patches of thin fabric placed frustratingly slightly lower than her center of vision which allowed a glimpse into the outside. And what did she see there? Generally not much. Torsos mostly. Not much else to see at that height. Occasionally some furniture, if she was lucky. A high-stakes exotic mission in the Minosian Island this was not.

Her legs burned beneath her. Though she thought herself something of an athlete when it came to the particularly weird skill of walking on her hind legs, she’d never done it continuously for this long before. Let alone while carrying another pony on her shoulders. Above her, she heard Bon Bon make another joke in the thick husky language of the local people. She didn't know what was being said, nor did she particularly care. She’d stopped caring about three hours ago shortly after their arrival.

She peered through her eyeholes once more, hoping to catch a glimpse of anything interesting to pass the time while the properly trained agent above her joked and rubbed elbows. But there was nothing new that she hadn’t been staring at for hours. Minotaurs in formal tuxedos and daring evening gowns wandering about the grand hall, schmoozing and chatting as they sipped champagne and nibbled on dainty delicacies. Or so she assumed. She couldn't quite see their heads unless they were quite far away.

She felt a double tap on her horn from above; the signal to go forward. Taking a moment to secure her balance, she did with only the slightest of wobble. The path before her was clogged with bodies and she relied on discrete taps to one ear or another to direct her where to turn. Dodge a diplomat here, sidestep a countess there. It was like a strange and intricate dance where she only learned the next step a half-second in advance.

Suddenly, there ahead, was that a gap? A break in the crowd? Joy surged in Lyra's heart even as the fire surged in her legs. Another tap to the horn. Yes! Forward it was! To freedom, and hopefully a chair.

A minute of maneuvering later, they were alone in a deserted side hallway.

“Good job Lyra,” Bon Bon whispered, “We’re nearly done.”

“How much longer? My legs are starting to give out,” she whispered back. It wasn’t just her legs, her neck was in no fine shape either. Not to mention the heat. Wearing clothing in a crowded party was one thing, but doing it while also getting a workout and wearing a second coat of fur? She was sweating buckets.

“Not much. I was able to plant the tracker without him noticing. It’s Agent Cornflower’s show now, so we can head to the extraction point.”

A sense of relief flooded Lyra as soothing as any balm. “And then we can take off the suit?”

“Yes, Lyra. And then we can take off the suit.” Lyra felt her passenger nod and took a step to counter-balance the motion. They just had to use real minotaur horns didn’t they? The top-heavy weight had thrown off her gait even more than Bon Bon herself had.

“Good,” she replied, “Because I am dying in here. Next time you offer to let me come on a mission, tell me what it is first.”

“Sorry.” Lyra felt a shift which was probably a sympathetic wince. “It was so short notice after Agent Upstream had her accident, and we needed somepony who could walk upright to pilot the lower half. And since you already knew about the organization anyway...”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me. Just… guide me to the exit so I can be done already.” Lyra grinned though she knew no one could see it. “Though you’re definitely going to have to pay me back for this later.” She gave her marefriend the slightest tug on her tail and heard her yip amusingly.

“Lyra! Not on the job!” she scolded, to no avail.

After what felt like miles of fittingly labyrinthine corridors, hallways, and worst of all: stairs, the two spies arrived in an underground port at the island’s base. Boats and ships of a myriad of styles bobbed in the soft waves, each silently boasting of their owner’s wealth and influence. Across the boatyard, near the farthest dock, one small ship had two lanterns lit. It was towards this one that they approached.

As they got near, they noticed some movement in the shadows. Bon Bon bid Lyra to stop.

“Sounds like they’re having a fun party.” A voice called from the boat, enunciating each word with great care.

“I suppose so.” Bon Bon replied with equal precision. “Though I think I’ve caught a bug from some of the fish.”

Hearing the correct response, the figure jumped down from the rigging into the light. It was a thestral, her coat nearly invisible when not in direct light and her mane only a shade lighter. “Agent Drops. You’ve completed your assignment?”

“I wouldn’t be back if I hadn’t,” she replied easily, dropping the accent. “The bug has been planted, and the package has been delivered. Agent Cornflower should be making the switch soon.”

“Indeed.” The mare nodded sagely. “A cut-and-dry mission. Textbook execution. We’ve been keeping an ear to their comms. It seems they don’t suspect a-”

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt,” Lyra interrupted intentionally, “But if we’re done, can we get on board and get away now? I can’t feel my legs and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing anymore.”

The threstral chuckled and pulled a rope, allowing the gangplank to lower. “Your trainee agent has quite the tongue, Agent Drops.”

“I-”

“That’s partner agent,” Lyra insisted as she unsteadily walked up the gangplank. The slow rocking was not helping her balance. “And I’ll have you know that I- whooooaaa!”

The top step had caught her off guard, being both out of her frame of vision and slightly higher than the rest. She and Bon Bon went sprawling onto the deck, though the padded muscles of their disguise took most of the blow.

Lyra heard rather than saw the unnamed agent flutter up and land beside her. “I was going to say ‘Come aboard’, but it seems you figured that part out already, Miss Partner Agent. “

Lyra fumed, but did so in silence.

“If you can get back up, there’s space down in the hold where you can change out of the minotaur suit.” The receding hoofsteps indicated to Lyra’s rattled noggin that the mare was walking away. “I’ll set us off in the meantime.”

“Thank you, Agent Silver,” Bon Bon’s tired voice said more than her words did. “Come on Lyra, just a few steps more and you can be out of this.”

With a beacon of hope like that, Lyra could have walked twice that distance, feeling in her legs or no.

“Why! Won’t! It! Come! Off!”

Lyra grunted in exertion as she pushed at the padded plush interior of her fabric prison. Beside her, she could feel Bon Bon doing the same. Articulated artificial fingers scratched and scrabbled over their costume’s surface, ruining the dress with dirt and seawater as they searched for purchase.

“I don’t know!” came her panicked reply. The whole mission she’d remained cool and collected, but now that they were done the stress had found an outlet. The boat bucked beneath them as it hit another wave and once more Lyra lost her iffy footing. “I can’t find the seam!”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know, break our way out? Rip it or cut it or something?”

“No!” Came the aghast reply. “Do you have any idea how expensive these suits are? Not even a member of the same species can tell them apart from the real thing! They only let the top-most agents use these for only the most important of infiltration missions.”

“Still…”

“Let me put it this way…” Bon Bon grunted as she tried to bend a foreleg in a way it was not designed to go in order to reach around a horn. “This belongs to the Crown, so if you break it, you have to pay for it. And this one suit is worth more than the both of us make in a whole year.”

There was a pause. “Oh. Okay. So about finding that release seam then...” Another wave rocked the boat and Lyra’s head smacked into her companion’s leg.

“I tried that,” Bon Bon insisted and helpfully chose not to mention just how pointy Lyra’s horn in her flank was. “I’m trying to reach the control crystal so I can disable the spells holding it together manually, but I can’t feel the blasted thing with these ridiculous fingers and horns getting in the way!”

“Oh… is that what this is?”

Both ponies glanced up, one through a Minotaur’s face and the other through its navel. Agent Silver stood in the door, a small blue gemstone in her hoof. “I found it on the deck. I think you knocked it loose when you fell.”

A moment of shocked silence passed. “It’s off?” There was more tension in Bon Bon's response than there had been in any point of the mission thus far. “The control crystal isn’t connected anymore?”

“Bonnie. What does that mean?” Lyra didn’t like her marefriend’s tone. She didn’t like it one bit. “What does that mean!?”

She heard a sigh and felt Bon Bon slouch into her shoulders once more. “It means… I can’t find the seams because there are no seams. And there won’t be any seams until the suit's control crystal is repaired. For that, we’ll need the pony who designed it.”

“And where would they be?”

“...back in Canterlot.”

No one spoke. Canterlot. Two days of sailing, another two on the rails, and a favorably windy airship ride away. And no way out of their disguise until then.

“Look on the bright side,” Bon Bon offered meekly, “You always said you wanted to see the world from a new perspective.”