Thomas and Friends: the New Adventures

by The Blue EM2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anthology, Main 7 (EqG), Alternate Universe, Shadowbolts (EqG), Young Six, Equestria Girls, Comedy, King Sombra, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure
Length: 49820

This is Sir Toppham Hatt's Railway!

Following the recovery of Lady and the defeat of Storm King and Diesel 10, life goes mostly back to normal on Sodor. Join the engines and their drivers for some more thrills, spills, and exciting adventures from the rails. After all, it's Great to be an Engine!

This collection will be a mixture of adaptations of both TTTE and MLP episodes, Christopher Awdry stories, and some original material thrown into the mix.

In the popular section as of 4/5/20.

Published 2020-05-03 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-06 23:02:05 UTC

Introduction

Stepney Gets Lost

Things were finally back to normal on the Island of Sodor. With Storm King's defeat and the reopening of the Magic Railway to tourism, people were flocking to the island like never before. This meant that business was firmly as usual, and the railways of the island were very busy indeed.

One morning, Sweetie Belle was oiling Stepney over, ready for his day's duties on the Little Western. Suddenly, a car pulled up outside the shed, and Sweetie Belle went out to see who it was.

It was Sir Toppham Hatt. "Good morning, Sweetie Belle," he said. "Firstly, I would like to complement your sister's skill as a tailor. These new trousers are superb."

"I'll be sure to pass the news on, sir," Sweetie Belle replied. "Where are Stepney and I needed today?"

"Toby and Mavis are currently overworked in the Anopha Quarry, but I can't send a bigger engine as there are weight restrictions on the viaduct that leads to the quarry. As a result, I want you two to help them out for the day."

"Yes sir!" Stepney said. "Right away sir! I've never been to the quarry before!"

Sweetie Belle jumped onto his footplate. "Onwards to adventure!" she exclaimed, and they steamed off into the distance.

"Make sure to be back before dark!" Sir Toppham Hatt called.

After a long journey, and several water and coal stops, Stepney arrived at Anopha Quarry. Toby and Mavis, as well as their drivers Flash Sentry and Diamond Tiara, were waiting for them.

"Hello!" Toby called. "We're glad you're here. We've got a lot of work to do today!"

"Are those trucks mine?" Stepney asked.

"Only some of them," Mavis replied. "We've got masses more back there to clear out and move to the marshalling yards. Make sure they aren't overfilled; one of the brake vans is a bit picky about the load heights!"

"The more, the merrier!" Stepney cried, and he set to work. The work was hot, messy, and very noisy, but Stepney didn't care. The dustier he and Sweetie Belle got, the harder they worked.

Mavis stopped to refuel partway through the shunting, and she and her driver watched on as Stepney bustled up and down. "For an engine of his size and power," Mavis noted, "he works very hard. He's producing enough volume for several whistlers!"

"They are very determined," Diamond Tiara noted. "I'm seriously impressed. I understand now why Sir Toppham Hatt entrusted those three with the Little Western; they never give up!"

Later, when Stepney was taking on water, the foreman spoke to Sweetie Belle. "There's a consignment of trucks that need to be taken to the Harwick line that's being rebuilt. Would you be happy to take it?"

"Sure!" Sweetie Belle smiled. Of course, she had forgotten what Sir Toppham Hatt had said.

Night fell, and Stepney was ready for his goods run. The trucks were loaded, the brakes were ready, and Stepney's lamps were set up incorrectly.

"You need to move that bottom lamp to the other bracket, and add another one at the top," Flash pointed out. "That's a fitted goods, not light engine."

"And be careful out there!" Toby added. "It's dark, and you need to be careful."

"I will!" Stepney replied. "Thank you for a lovely day; I hope I can come back again one day."

"The line can be spooky," Mavis added. "Be careful!"

"Thanks for the warning!" Stepney answered, and sounded his whistle. He pulled away into the night, his heavy load bouncing behind him.

The Harwick line would come off at Peel Godred, at the end of the Peel Godred line. The run to Peel Godred was uneventful; apart from having to weave in and out of engineering trains, Stepney had a clear run, and dropped off his trucks in record time. Sweetie Belle changed his lamps, and after being turned on the turntable, Stepney headed for home.

It was dark and spooky as they ran along the line. In the dark, everything looked different. There was no real sense of where anything was, and to make matters worse the fog was rolling in, reducing visibility to almost zero.

"I have no idea where we are," Sweetie Belle said quietly. "We normally only run the Little Western at night, not out here."

"You're telling me," Stepney replied. "I can barely see even with my lamp. Mavis was right; everything does look spooky!"

Up ahead, a signal box was visible, and in the distance, a green light. "Full speed ahead Stepney!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "The signalman must have been expecting us!" They proceeded onwards into the night.

Only problem is, he hadn't been expecting them at all. The signalman had not been informed of the light engine move, and thought it was a slow goods. As a result, Stepney had been sent onto the wrong line.

It soon began to dawn on the engine and his driver that something was wrong. "It can't be taking us this long, can it?" Stepney asked Sweetie Belle.

"I've lost all track of time," she replied. Suddenly, they found themselves in amongst strange buildings and flickering red lights. Metal girders lay everywhere, chains hung from ceilings, and all around were the sounds of torches and bubbling liquid. "I think we've gone wrong somewhere, as I don't recognise this place. We should wait until the fog clears."

A few minutes later, the fog slowly lifted. Stepney looked all around and realised, to his horror, where he was. Lying all over the place were the broken up wrecks of steam and diesel locomotives, including, to his horror, a Terrier! "The scrapyards!" he cried. "We're in the scrapyards! We have to get out of here, now!"

Sweetie Belle was about to go for help, when suddenly a pair of horns echoed in the distance. Out of the gloom, two Class 08 shunters approached. Both of them were painted green with orange cabs and lining. One rolled up behind Stepney, and the other parked alongside him.

"Well, well, well," said the first. "What do we have 'ere? We were expectin' junk parts, but a full steam engine will do nicely." He read the name. "'is name's Stepney, Bert. Rings a bell."

"Sure does, 'Arry," said the other, whom Stepney inferred was Bert. "We 'ad another Terrier here a little while back. Shadwell, I think 'e was. 'e made some good scrap, and I think this one will too. Buffer 'em, Bert. Where you're goin', there ain't no comin' back."

Bert collided with Stepney's rear bufferbeam, and began to push him towards the building. The doors of the building slid open, to reveal more machines, mostly cutting tools and blowtorches. Sweetie Belle had applied Stepney's locomotive and train brakes, but Bert was simply too powerful. Eventually, they left Stepney in position. Above him was a massive crane, designed to rip a boiler free of the frames and crush the water tanks.

'Arry laughed. "Bye, bye, Stepney. At least you'll get to see your brothers and sisters again!" Both diesels cackled as they backed up, and the door closed.

"Section clear, locomotives and personnel are clear of machinery. Start up the grabber."

Sweetie Belle dived out of the cab and began waving at the control booth. "STOP! STOP! THERE'S STILL SOMEBODY IN HERE!"

But it was too late. The crane began to lower down, the central hole positioned over Stepney's dome. It advanced relentlessly, never giving an inch. Stepney tried to move, but clamps had locked his wheels in place so he couldn't escape. He closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face. "NOOOO!" he cried. "THIS ENGINE'S NOT FOR SCRAPPING!"

The grabber ignored him. Sweetie Belle, in desparation, started throwing things at the grabber to get it to stop, but that didn't work either. All the while, the pair never ceased calling for help.

But just as the grabber was about to clamp down on Stepney... it stopped. Stepney opened his eyes, to see it had stopped inches above him. "What?"

Sir Toppham Hatt was watching from a nearby gantry. "You two," he said, "are lucky that I was here tonight. I was able to tell the foreman of the mixup. I'm sending Duck to tow you both back to Arlesburgh."

Stepney sighed in relief. "Thank you sir," he said. "I thought I was a goner. But Sweetie Belle and I have learned something important today."

"And that is?"

"There's no place like home."

Author's Note

The brake van joke is a reference to the character of Bradford, the notoriously picky brake van.

Whistler is the nickname often given to the Class 40 diesel (whom you may remember gave the engines grief back in Bowled Out).

Incidentally, 'Arry and Bert's personalities were changed as a result of this episode, and good too; they are complete psychopaths in this one.

A New Blue Engine

There are some quite dramatic changed taking place on the Island of Sodor. Many of these changes, in particular, are focused around the Peel Godred line. Workmen up and down the line are busy erecting strange metal masts that sit over the track, and little grey boxes with warning signs right next to them. Then, they run a network of wires through the masts that are connected to junction boxes and the power grid. In order to allow for engineering traffic to access the Harwick extension project, a new, third track has been built on the left of the old two, free of the modified lines. One day, Thomas was travelling down this line with some ballast for the Harwick branch. The sun shone and the birds sang, and it was a lovely day.

"What could be nicer than driving trains and working on the Island of Sodor?" Twilight asked, as they made good time towards Kirk Machan. The extra line was only single track, and in order to prevent track blockages, a passing loop had been installed at Kirk Machan in order to let trains pass. Thomas rumbled into the loop and stopped at the signal as Edward rattled past with the empties bound for the yard.

"Hello Thomas!" called a Welsh voice from an adjacent track. Thomas glanced over to see Culdee waiting there with a coach.

"Hello Culdee!" Thomas replied. "I know it hasn't been long since we last saw each other, but how are things going?"

"Ever since you helped recover the gold dust, things have been better than ever," the other Twilight said. "We get more tourists, the booking offices are packed, and Patrick has even stopped complaining!"

Suddenly, a loud horn sounded in the distance, a noisy, two tone sequence with a starting low tone and ending high tone. "Clear the way please!" called a female voice. "The future is here!"

Moments later, a loud whine could be heard in the distance, and seconds after that a large blue object shot past, hauling 10 coaches and soon vanishing into the tunnel beyond.

"What was that?" Thomas asked.

"That's one of the new electric thingies they've got to run this route," Culdee explained. "Something about Woodstock?"

"No, Woodhead!" Twilight (the other Twilight) replied. "They are all from the Woodhead route!"

Thomas was even more confused, but decided to find out more as the signal dropped. He arrived at Peel Godred and completed his delivery of trucks. He then backed onto a siding in order to take coal and water. Just up ahead was a turntable, and on it sat the engine from earlier.

They had a squat front end, and two big windows above their face which allowed the driver to see out. The body was painted a bright, eye catching blue, with handrails and roof painted white. Two great big arms sat atop the engine, and upon the sides sat a nameplate, alongside the number E27000 on the cabsides.

Electra.

"Hello!" the strange engine said. This confirmed them to be female. "You must be Thomas!"

"You know me?" Thomas asked, confused.

"Who doesn't know of the little blue engine and his exploits?" the engine asked. "My driver's just off to get a bite to eat, so we have time to chat. My name's Electra."

"Nice to meet you, Electra," Thomas replied. "What great big arms you've got."

"These aren't arms, silly!" she replied, laughing. "They're pantographs."

"Whatographs?" Thomas asked.

"Pantographs. I draw power from an overhead wire strung from the gantries you see along the line. This current is then fed into my traction motors, which allows my wheels to turn. I was originally built for use on the Woodhead route in the north of England, but they withdrew us after 12 years of service due to being non standard."

"Why were you non standard?" Twilight asked.

"Because of our electrification. The rest of Britain's electrified railways used 25 kilovolts AC, or alternating current, whereas Woodhead used 1500 volts DC, or direct current. As a result, we were isolated, and with the decline of passenger services they withdrew us and sold us to Holland, which used the correct voltage for us."

"What happened then?" asked Thomas.

"Eventually, two of us were repatriated. Myself, and E27001 Ariadne. Diana (nothing to do with the member of royalty) is still in Holland. I sat in a museum for years, but when Sir Toppham Hatt announced plans to electrify this route to 1500 volts DC, the remaining engines of that voltage were called out of retirement. So, here I am now. They used to call Woodhead 'the place of the future'! Now we're the only remaining remnant of a unique system."

"Electra!" called a voice. "It's time to go!" Sprinting across the yard towards her cab was a man with green skin and purple eyes, wearing the standard North Western uniform and holding a pasty in his hand. He clambered into the cab and took his seat at the controls.

"Right you are, sir!" Electra called. Her horn then sounded. "Hey, ho, away we go!" There was a brief whine as her traction motors engaged and began to draw power from the overhead wires. And then, slowly but effortlessly, she began to move away to the other end of her train.

"I don't know why," Twilight said, "but that electric reminds me of somebody. Or some engine."

The pair continued to ruminate on the issue as they ran back to the main line. Thomas, in particular, was thinking very hard. "Edward, Henry, no, neither of them."

"Neither of them what?" Twilight asked.

"Electra doesn't remind me of any of them. She's big, she's blue, and she pulls fast trains."

"I think I know who you're referring to, but I can't for the life of me think who," Twilight replied, putting a hand to her chin. "That driver of hers looked familiar, though."

Thomas collected the next load of trucks, this time loaded with electrical cables, and set off back for Peel Godred. At the junction, he met Electra again.

"Hello Thomas!" she called. "Is that another load of trucks for the electrification?"

"Yes!" he said. "More power cables, apparently."

"Excellent," Electra smiled. "Having to be towed by a diesel is most undignified." The signal dropped. "Well, catch you later!" With a blast of her horn, Electra pulled away on another train.

Thomas sighed. "Still reminds me of somebody." Twilight hopped out of the cab, uncoupled Thomas, and then ran him round to the other end of the train. Freight trains, especially partially fitted ones, cannot be run backwards at speed for safety reasons. This, however, meant that Thomas could not see where he was going, and as he reversed up the access line, the signalman at Kirk Machan stopped him.

"There's been a blockage on the access line," the signalman said. "We're going to route you onto the Down electrified track until we can get you onto the access line again."

"OK," Twilight replied. "Let's go, Thomas!" Behind them, the signal cleared, and Thomas puffed onto the electrified lines. The only problem was, the signalman had been careless and set the points incorrectly! Thomas soon realised this when he was not on the Down line. He was on the Up line, and right in the way of opposing traffic!

"I'm on the wrong line!" he cried. "HELP!"

The signalman, realising his mistake, immediately set all the signals in his section to red, and radioed ahead. "To all boxes in the net. We have a goods train rolling into opposing traffic. Halt all trains immediately. Repeat, we have a goods train rolling into opposing traffic. Halt all trains immediately."

Suddenly, a loud horn echoed in the distance. It was Electra! The signalman ran out and began shouting something to Thomas, but he couldn't understand what was being said.

"What?" he said. "An emu?"

Twilight threw Thomas' cutoff into forward and put his regulator to full.

Electra suddenly loomed out of the fog. She gasped when she saw what was in the way. "Brakes, driver!" she cried.

Her driver slammed the brakes on, but she wasn't slowing down fast enough. Thomas was barely moving out of the way.

"Come on, you silly things!" he shouted, as the trucks began to budge.

Electra still bore down on him. She was down to 40 miles an hour, but that was still too fast.

With seconds to spare, Thomas was clear of the main line, and Electra thundered past with mere inches between her and the blue tank engine.

After a somewhat hair raising experience, Thomas completed his delivery of trucks, when Electra pulled into the nearby platform. Thomas sighed. "Sorry for getting in your way, Electra," he said.

"Not to worry, Thomas," she said. "Your quick thinking prevented a nasty accident. My driver is thankful too."

The man stepped out of the cab and waved. "Hello Thomas!" he said. "My name's Thornton, but you can call me Thorax. You probably know my daughter, Ocellus. She works on the Skarloey Railway."

"Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said. "But what was the signalman shouting about an emu?"

Thorax laughed. "He wasn't talking about an emu! Electra is a British Railways Class 77, but the LNER classified them as Electric Mixed Traffic Model 2, or EM2 for short. And Electra is... a Blue EM2."

On the other end of a computer screen, readers groaned at the pun.

Author's Note

This story is a reworking of the Season 23 episode The Other Big Engine, but set on Sodor and incorporating aspects of UK railway history (as Mattel should have done instead of taking the show overseas).

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2918/14483310370_1daf7ca2c0_b.jpg

Electra can still be seen today, albeit restored to black livery, at the Midland Railway Centre in Swanwick, Derbyshire. Sadly, the image cannot be displayed due to Fimfiction's image size rules.

Better Late than Never

The engines and their drivers were finding life hard on the Island. Ever since the viaduct had collapsed under Diesel 10's weight, the structure had been in a perpetual state of repair, and although one track had been succesfully stabilised, the other side needed work. As a result, trains between Maron and Cronk were forced to work single line, with a token being passed between the two trains at either station.

The repairs also meant that the viaduct had a strict speed limit of only 25 miles per hour, compared to the 100 it was built for originally. This meant that journeys would take ages to complete. These problems often meant that trains ran very late indeed, and rarely made their allocated arrival times at the other stations, including the junction with the Ffarquhar Branch where Thomas was waiting to collect passengers.

One morning, Henry rolled into Knapford Junction, running about 20 minutes late. As the passengers scrambled out of the coaches and into Annie and Clarabel, Thomas voiced his frustrations. "Time's time, and time's money!" he snapped. "Why should I have to wait for you big engines to simply dawdle about on viaducts whilst passengers get frustrated?"

Henry rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault!" he replied. "Considering that viaduct recently collapsed, we need to be careful whilst crossing it, or it may collapse again! Then you would have no passengers at all!"

Given Thomas had been the last engine to cross that viaduct before said collapse, you would expect him to be more understanding. Thankfully, Twilight was.

"It's not your fault Henry," she said. "It's better to be late in this life than early in the next. You would do well to remember that, Thomas."

"I'd run my train on time, same as ever!" Thomas answered. And he puffed away without another word, leaving a somewhat annoyed Henry and Fluttershy behind.

At the other end of the line, Bertie was annoyed too. He was timetabled to arrive shortly after Thomas, but he had just arrived and Thomas was nowhere to be seen! The passengers found that, instead of going straight to their train, they had to wait instead!

Spike sighed, clearly bored, and started reading a comic book.

Bertie, on the other hand, started grumbling. "Late again?" he asked, as Thomas rolled to a stop in the platform. "We may be friends, but I thought you could go fast!"

"Remember that on the mainland, 30 minutes late is basically 'on time'," Thomas retorted.

"Maybe we could race again?" Spike suggested.

"That's unsafe!" Twilight exclaimed. "Besides, we have a speed limit to stick to! We'd get into trouble if we started speeding! We'd lose points even if we were doing the speed limit, for one!"

"What?" Bertie asked, confused.

"Oh never mind."

"Besides, Spike and I could beat you!"

Thomas hissed angrily. "Rubbish!" he snapped. "It's not my fault; it's those main line engines who constantly run late because they dither about on their viaduct, and then blame it on Sir Toppham Hatt's workmen!" He was, of course, wrong, but he was so cross he didn't care what he said, and he went to run round without another word.

The next day, James arrived at Knapford Junction, running an hour late. "Sorry Thomas for the delay!" he panted.

"Indeed, darling," Rarity replied. "The signalman put a goods train in front of us, and then the viaduct held us up as the oncoming train had left Tidmouth late!"

"Good thing for you I'm a guaranteed connection," Thomas retorted, and puffed away before James could reply.

James looked at Rarity. "Didn't that get Peter Sam in trouble once?" he asked.

"Yes, it did," Rarity replied. "Mrs Cake was not pleased at all."

Thomas and Twilight clattered along the branch line, but even going at top speed they found it almost impossible to save time. They had saved five minutes by Ellsbridge, and were about to roll over the level crossing before the viaduct before they suddenly saw something at the side of the track.

Bertie was sitting there, fuming. Smoke was pouring from his engine, and around him stood the passengers and Spike, who was currently waving Thomas down. Thomas came to a stop and Twilight hopped out of the cab.

"What happened?" Twilight asked. "Bertie should be at Ffarquhar by now!"

"I feel awful," Bertie replied. "My radiator is too hot, and Spike says he cannot mend me here. We'll need a lorry to tow me to the works to be mended!"

"You try fixing a damaged radiator in the middle of nowhere!" Spike retorted. "Could you take the passengers, please? We have no way of moving them."

"It's a good thing we saw you," Thomas added. "And a good thing I'm late too. Otherwise we'd never have saved these passengers! I'll take them home for you, and get help at Ffarquhar too."

Thomas set off with a whoosh of steam and a cloud of smoke once all of Bertie's passengers had boarded the train, and he felt much happier. It was a bit of a squash onboard the train, but the passengers didn't mind, for they knew the alternative was to be stuck in the middle of nowhere. They also telephoned the breakdown company, who brought a lorry to remove Bertie and tow him away to be mended.

A few days later, Bertie was feeling better again, and was back on his old route. He arrived at Ffarquhar one afternoon to thank Thomas for his help. "I'm sorry I teased you for being late," he said. "If you hadn't run late a few days ago, the passengers would have been in a spot of bother!"

"Hey, that's what friends are for," Thomas replied. "And no problem. Sometimes, being late is actually a good thing!"

The two vehicles and their drivers laughed, exchanged some last minute pleasentries, and then set off on their way. After all, on the Island of Sodor, work never stops, and there is never a dull moment on Sir Toppham Hatt's railway.

Author's Note

This episode always felt kinda like filler to me, given the meandering plot and a lack of a satisfying resolution to the story.

Twilight's comment about losing points is a joke about Train Simulator 2020's scoring system, where you lose points for speeding. However, a glitch in the system causes it to read 125 miles per hour as speeding-even if that is the marked speed limit.

The Crovan's Gate Club

It was nearly Christmastime on the Island of Sodor, and merriment abounded wherever you looked. On the Skarloey Railway, the last Santa Special had run earlier that day, and it would be time for the Skarloey Railway to go to bed until the start of the new operating season in March (barring the odd track inspection and maintenance train). The last coaches had been put away, and as Ocellus backed Skarloey into the shed, Sandbar was busy decorating the tree that sat at the side of the shed, singing to himself.

"Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly, Falalalala lala!
'Tis the Season to be Jolly, Falalalala lala!"

He glanced back from the chair to see nobody else joining in. "Come on, everybody!" he exclaimed. "Join in!"

He then leaped off the chair and headed over to Skarloey.

"Don we all our Gay Apparel, Falala, falala, falala!
Troll the ancient yuletide carol-"

He indicated to Ocellus, who looked at him blankly.

"Troll the ancient Yuletide Carol," Sandbar sang again. "Come on, Ocellus! Finish the phrase!"

"I don't know this one," Ocellus mumbled. "I'd rather not troll anybody."

"Troll in that context means to sing loudly or to celebrate in song," Rheneas explained.

"Falalalala, la la la la!" Skarloey finished.

Sir Handel snorted. "You never were a good top tenor, Skarloey."

"Says the baritone," Peter Sam said to him.

Yona rolled her eyes as she finished raking out Rheneas' ashpan. "Not everybody celebrate in same way, you know!" she said, apparently not able to speak proper English.

"Yeah," Smoulder sighed, pulling on her coat. "Christmas was mostly just another day for me, and I don't do cheery sappy stuff."

"That is a shame!" Rusty interjected. "Christmas is a lovely time of year!"

"And," Mr Percival added, "it is a time of coming together, as we remember that Christ was born to save us all."

"Even steam engines?" asked Duncan, looking at Mr Percival with a skeptical eye.

"Even steam and diesel engines."

Silverstream danced about on the concrete floor. "My family have got the greatest plans for this year! We're off to Spain!"

"Spain?" Gallus asked. "That's not special. I go to Spain on the weekends."

"You can't go to Spain on the weekends!" Duncan snapped.

"Yes you can!" Gallus retorted. "A special part of Spain called... Penrith." He glanced over to Ocellus. "Two whole weeks without working on an engine or school. However will Ocellus survive?"

"I imagine you'll all enjoy the time off," Mr Percival said, "to enjoy time with your families. Please collect your items from your lockers, and don't miss the train! I look forward to seeing you all after the break!"

The six drivers shuffled off to the locker room, and Mr Percival walked back over to Duke, who was sitting outside in front of the tree. When Cheerilee wasn't around, Mr Percival drove Duke. "How is it out here, Duke?"

"It's very quiet," he smiled. "How I like it. I never thought I'd say it, but I think I'll miss those six. I hope they don't miss their train!"

Suddenly, there was a loud creaking, and the tree began to topple over. "Sir! Look out!"

Mr Percival jumped clear, and the tree crashed down over the track, blocking the shed and throwing the Nativity scene everywhere. The loud crash attracted the attention of everybody in the area, and the six drivers (or the Young Six, as people had taken to calling them for some reason) ran outside and stopped in front of the remains of the tree.

"What happened?" Silverstream asked. "Why is the tree in such a state?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Duke said grimly. "The tree fell over and blocked the line. And it was no accident. Look at the bottom of the tree!" Sure enough, there were several cuts in the wood, indicating it had been weakened beforehand.

Sandbar shook his head. "That is so not cool. This'll take the brakedown gang forever to clean up!"

Mr Percival looked at them. "Neither Duke nor myself could have done this, and you six are the only personnel on staff today, and the only ones around when it collapsed. Therefore, it has to be one of you."

"Yona offended by accusation!" Yona exclaimed.

"Why not just check the CCTV?" Gallus suggested.

"The marks suggest the cutting was done in the west courtyard, where the cameras don't cover," Duke answered. "Now please close your eyes. If you did this, raise your hand."

The six drivers closed their eyes. Duke glanced over- to see Mr Percival had closed his as well. "Not you, sir."

"Oh."

Not a single hand had been raised.

Mr Percival sighed. "Seeing as none of you will own up, all six of you and your engines will be needed to clean up the mess."

"What if we miss our trains?" Smoulder asked.

"That is not my problem," Mr Percival replied. "Whilst you are all working, Duke will keep an eye on you. I will take you to my office one on one and interview you all. The engines should hopefully still have warm fires, so starting them again shouldn't be a problem." He then walked away.

Half an hour later, the engines and their drivers were busy moving trucks about. Sandbar had started on cutting the tree apart with tools so that the fragments could be more easily loaded, and Yona was helping to throw pieces into the waiting wagons.

Duncan was grumbling the entire time. "Stupid tree on the stupid tracks!" he grumbled. "Why do we all have to suffer because of one buffoon? It's not fair! It's not fair!"

"Tell me about it!" Sir Handel grumbled. "What happens if nobody confesses, and what'll happen to the guilty party if they do?"

"Then they will have to stay here over the break doing maintenance work," Duke sighed. "Now get back to work."

"Gallus!" shouted Mr Percival. "You're up first. Secure Sir Handel and come to my office."

"Yes sir," Gallus replied. He applied Sir Handel's brakes and walked off. "This won't take long."

Once he was out of earshot, Ocellus piped up. "What are you all looking at me for?"

"Who did this?" Smoulder asked. "If they fess up now, it'll save us a lot of bother!"

"It wasn't me!" Ocellus snapped. "I would never want to sabotage Christmas! It's my favourite holiday!"

"You've never spoken much about your family," Skarloey noted. "How do you mark Christmas?"

"Well," Ocellus began, "we always have a fresh tree that we put up in the house, unlike our next door neighbour who uses an articificial one. The ambience just isn't the same. Other things we do is pass presents around, although we sometimes don't know when to stop, dive into a bowl of punch (whoever would have known that punch would be so good for bathing in?), and sing carols, like this one." She cleared her throat.

"Here we Come a Wassailing,
Among the Fields so Green!
Here we Come a Wassailing,
So Fair as to be Seen!

"Love and joy come to you!
And to you your wassail too!
And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year!
And God send you a Happy New Year!"

The others applauded. "You have a lovely singing voice," Sandbar commented.

"Thanks."

"Well, that's complete rubbish!" Duncan said. "Passing presents doesn't mean to do it endlessly like a neverending game of pass the parcel! Besides, a bowl of punch is a drink! It's not a hot tub! And that carol you quoted isn't even for Christmas. It's Twelth Night."

"Well?" Rusty asked. "How do the Scottish mark Christmas?"

"We have Hogmanay," Duncan replied. "Lots of partying, lots of music, and plenty of fun to be had. The workers in my old factory always had a party on Christmas Eve, and it was quite the riot!"

Mr Percival reappeared. "Ocellus, your turn. Ensure Skarloey doesn't roll away."

"OK sir," Ocellus nodded nervously, and applied Skarloey's brakes. She stepped away, shaking the entire time. She didn't like being yelled at.

Gallus sat back down at the controls of Sir Handel. "I told him it wasn't me," he said. "Now where's the next load of wood?"

Yona cried in frustration. "Yona hate the waiting!" she exclaimed, as she backed Rheneas into position. "Yona going back to original country for Christmas!"

"Where are you from?" Rheneas asked.

"And how do you mark Christmas there?" Sandbar added.

"Yona from Scandinavia!" Yona replied. "Yona know the old story of Sinta Klaas, the bringer of presents! Sinta Klaas like Saint Nicholas and Santa Klaus! Only problem for Yona is Christmas is over by Christmas Day!"

"Interesting," Smoulder said. "Though we call him Father Christmas over here. I doubt he'll visit if we're all stuck here, thanks to somebody here."

"Hello?" Ocellus said, walking back over. "Sandbar, apparently Mr Percival wants to see you next."

"Well, there goes the woodcutting for now," Sandbar replied, putting down and securing his tools. "Stay still, Rusty!"

"I can't go anywhere," Rusty replied.

"You haven't said much yet, Smoulder," asked Peter Sam. "How do you mark Christmas?"

"My Christmasses mostly consisted of my relatives trying to outdo each other," Smoulder replied. "I come from a very competitive family, and they all have stupid rivalries of some sort. One thing we often do is tell tall tales and silly stories. Whichever one is the best gets a pat on the back. The best one last year was about a dragon usurping the throne and leaving the old leader to die."

Ocellus gasped. "That's horrible!"

"You don't have much else to do when you grow up on a dodgy housing estate in Carlisle."

"Silverstream!" Mr Percival called. "Your turn!"

"Let's get this over with," Silverstream said sadly, and walked away.

"After you've put Peter Sam's brakes on."

Smoulder looked back to Sandbar. "Well? Did you tell them you did it?"

"What?" Sandbar replied. "No way!"

"Being stuck on this railway wouldn't be a problem for you, as you live in Crovan's Gate," Gallus pointed out.

"Good point," mused Rusty.

"Besides, I want to be with my folks for the holidays," Sandbar admitted. "I have the best story ever. It's called 'the time my stocking almost fell into the fire'!"

"Oh, here we go again," Skarloey said, rolling his eyes.

"It was the Night Before Christmas,
and all through the House,
we were busy putting up our stockings so that Santa could visit. Thing is, I didn't secure mine properly, and it nearly fell into the fire!"

"Did it?" asked Silverstream, incredulously.

"Nope!"

"Well, that was an anti-climax," Rheneas sighed.

"Got a better story?" Sandbar retorted.

"Yes!" Rheneas said. "We Welsh celebrate Christmas like no other. We have a strong tradition of male voice choirs, and when we're all assembled it's a beautiful sound. We would always gather in the town square to sing carols. I was always a Tenor, whilst Skarloey was a Bass. Our favourite moment was always Handel's Messiah."

"We had a very similar custom on the Mid-Sodor, didn't we?" Sir Handel pointed out.

"That we did," Duke admitted, the first he had said in a while.

"At this rate we'll be stuck here forever," Rusty said.

"And ever! And ever!"

"NO HANDEL'S MESSIAH!" shouted Mr Percival from his office. "I'm going to speed this up. Yona, Smoulder, my office, now."

Both drivers left, whilst Silverstream returned. "Are we going to be stuck here?" she asked. "I can't miss Spain!"

"What do you do whilst overseas?" Gallus asked.

"I have Polish ancestry, so we commemorate and give thanks for our freedom! Admittedly, the actual anniversary is on the 1st September, but the fact we are free to act as we see fit is what we are celebrating!"

Moments later, Smoulder and Yona returned. "Mr Percival said wait here!" Yona grumpily exclaimed.

"Maybe he'll let us off!" Silverstream exclaimed.

"I doubt it," Smoulder grunted.

"Stupid tree," Duncan growled. "I was looking forward to a rest."

Ocellus, on the other hand, looked upset. "If I'm stuck here working on the line, then I can't be with my family!"

"Oh quit being so melodramatic!" Rusty snapped. "If anything, always be suspicious of the one being overly emotional!"

Duncan glanced over to Peter Sam. "That does make sense," he said. "Maybe Ocellus did do it, and is pretending to act like this so nobody would suspect her!"

"That's ridiculous," Sandbar retorted.

"Oh, that's right, protect your girlfriend," Sir Handel said sarcastically. "I bet it was the two of you the entire time."

"That's nonsense and you know it!" Skarloey shouted back.

"Oh, just confess already!" Smoulder yelled, and the entire yard devolved into a loud shouting match between engines and drivers.

Moments later, Gallus, having had enough, blew the whistle. "SHUT UP!" he yelled. They all turned to look at him. "Look, just stop fighting! It's not what Christmas is about!"

"Actually, family breakups are most likely to happen around Christmas," Rusty said. "What?"

"And my parents are pretty rubbish," Smoulder added.

Gallus rolled his eyes. "At least you have parents."

There was a moment of stunned silence.

"Grandpa Gruff is my grandfather, but he mostly takes care of me out of obligation rather than any real love. And Christmas is a rubbish time for me. All my cousins Gilda and Gabriella seem to do is complain about everything. I've never felt like I belonged, until I started working here, at the Skarloey Railway and met all of you. You are the only family I've got. And that's why I demolished the tree."

There was another moment of silence. "I figured that if I was working here, I would at least have Sir Handel to keep me company. That way, I wouldn't be alone, but I never meant to drag the rest of you into this. I'm sorry."

It became so quiet that everybody jumped when Mr Percival spoke. "Thank you for speaking up," he said. "But that means you will have to work here over Christmas. I will give you Christmas Day off, though. I'm not that cruel."

"Then we're staying as well," Sandbar said. "We're not leaving a friend alone at this time of year."

"Very well," said Mr Percival. "Whilst you are here, why not take out the carol books?"

"Handel's Messiah it is!" Skarloey called. "Merry Christmas to all!"

Author's Note

This story is my first adaptation of an MLP episode for this series, being based on The Hearth's Warming Club, which itself is a ponified version of The Breakfast Club.

The use of Deck the Halls is a double joke; not only is the song that Sandbar sings in the original episode modelled on it, the carol is Welsh, meaning that Skarloey and Rheneas would probably know it.

Thomas, Percy, and the Coal

It was a lovely day on the Island of Sodor. The sun shone and the birds sang. The sunshine reflected off of Thomas' boiler as he puffed along, with Annie and Clarabel in tow.

"What a lovely day!" Thomas said to Twilight.

"I couldn't agree more," Twilight grinned, "especially as it's sunny, but not so hot that it's uncomfortable. June is so muggy out here."

"You're telling me!" Thomas joked, as they pulled into Ellsbridge. Percy was in the loop with a goods train, waiting to take it up to Ffarquhar, whilst Toby was shunting in the sidings.

"Hello Thomas!" Percy called. "You look splendid today! Had a good run?"

"That and more," Thomas smiled. "The passengers were on time, and Bertie didn't break down! But that's all to be expected, as blue is the only proper colour for an engine."

"Thomas," Twilight said sternly. "What did we say about boasting?"

"Oh, I don't agree!" Toby said. "I quite like my brown paint. And I recall that the B12s looked ridiculous in BR Blue!"

"I've always been green," Percy admitted. "I would never want to be any other colour."

"You and me both," Pinkie added.

"Well, that makes no sense," Flash said. "You're pink, Pinkie! It's in the name!"

"Do I have to make sense?"

"Touche."

"Well, anyway, er, huff!" responded Thomas. Yes, he actually said the word 'huff'. "Blue is the only colour for a really useful engine. Everybody knows that!" And he puffed away without another word.

"You still have the wrong lamp code!" Toby shouted after him. "Oh dear, what are we going to do? Ever since he helped stop Diesel 10 he's been worse than ever!"

"It's all gone to his smokebox, I tell you!" Percy agreed. "I bet it'll come crashing down soon!"

Later that day, Thomas was resting on a siding when Percy rolled under the coal chute with some empty trucks. He moved backward gradually as each wagon was loaded.

"Be careful with those trucks!" Thomas called. He knew full well the problems that trucks could cause, having been the victim of a runaway on more than one occasion.

But the trucks heard him. "Go on! Go on!" they shouted. As Percy began to back up with the trucks, they crashed into each other and sent Percy flying through some buffers. The chute operator, not aware of what was going on, released the next load. It fell all over the track, and piled up in a great heap. Coal dust flew everywhere in a great cloud, enveloping Thomas and Twilight. As the mess cleared, both the engine and his driver were covered from head to toe (or smokebox to bunker, depending on whom you are referring to) in coal dust.

"Help!" Thomas exclaimed, coughing whilst he did so. "I'm choking!"

"Oh no!" Twilight exclaimed. "I look a mess! And we'll be late cleaning up this mess too! Oh, this is terrible!"

As if to add insult to injury, the chute started dumping more and more coal onto the track, making an even bigger mess.

"Get me out of here!" Thomas cried. Twilight hopped onto the footplate and began to move him away from the scene. Percy, on the other hand, found it all rather funny. Thomas' smart blue paint was now essentially black.

"You don't look really useful now, do you!" he laughed.

Pinkie joined in on the laughter. "Talk about karma, Thomas!" she said.

"It's not funny!" Thomas snapped. "You two did that on purpose! Now stop laughing and clean up this mess!"

Twilight did work her hardest to clean Thomas, but it took her so long that he wasn't ready in time for the next train. As a result, Toby took Annie and Clarabel instead, whilst Thomas was assigned a good train.

That night, in the shed, Thomas was fuming angrily. He still hadn't forgiven Percy, and Toby was (quite wisely) keeping quiet. Percy, on the other hand, was furious Thomas could even think he'd done this on purpose.

"Do you really think so little of me," he said, "that you think I'd ruin your paint on purpose? Fancy a really useful blue engine becoming an absolute disgrace to the railway!"

Thomas snarled at him, but otherwise said nothing. However, he felt better the next morning as he watched Percy roll in with some trucks that had been dropped off at Knapford sidings. They had come down from Crovan's Gate earlier in the day, loaded with slate from Blue Mountain Quarry, and Percy looked exhausted.

"I'll stop you at the water column!" Pinkie suggested, as they rolled through the platforms. The water tower sat at the end of the platform, and was very precariously placed. A nearby siding was having subsidence problems, and had been closed off until further notice. Pinkie applied Percy's brakes.

Nothing happened.

Pinkie then realised her mistake. These trucks were unfitted, and as a result needed more time to stop than other trains would have needed. The wagons clanged into each other, and Percy slid towards the buffers which protected the unsafe ground! He couldn't stop!

"Oh not again!" he cried, as he slid closer and closer.

"VEGGIE SALAD! VEGGIE SALAD!" Pinkie cried, seconds before bailing from the footplate. Percy's brakeblocks squealed as he tried to stop, but it was no use! He crashed into the buffers... and through them... and into a pit.

Thomas had seen it all, and couldn't resist laughing. "Now you know how I felt down the mine!" he chortled, as he steamed past.

"Talk about karma, Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed, nearly repeating Pinkie's own words back to her. Percy, on the other hand, looked miserable until they pulled him out.

And that night, the two engines decided to put this silly squabble behind them. "I didn't cause your accident on purpose, Thomas," Percy said.

"I know," Thomas replied. "I was angry, and not thinking straight at the time. Besides, I was out of line for being rude about your paint. Green is a splendid colour, and it suits you perfectly."

"So, friends again?" Percy asked.

Thomas laughed. "I think we both know the answer to that one."

Author's Note

Happy VE day everybody!

This story was the first adaptation of the Christopher Awdry story, and was filmed as a substitute for the cancelled adaptation of The Missing Coach. It was, interestingly enough, the very first episode of the show that series technical consultant Sam Wilkinson saw. No wonder such obvious howlers in terms of safe railway practice make it into BWBA episodes...

Haunted Henry

It was a dark, cold, but clear night. The moon shone high in the sky, and there was no fog. At Peel Godred depot, Fluttershy was currently busy preparing Henry for a run up the Harwick line, which at the time was being prepared for opening to passenger service. Edward was currently being readied to take some empties back to Knapford, and as they worked, Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged gossip.

"Yup!" Applejack laughed. "Granny didn't even know what our smoke alarm sounded like! Thought it were one of Apple Bloom's toys!"

"Oh my," Fluttershy said quietly, shivering despite her coat. "That sounds like it could be very dangerous. What if she didn't hear it?"

"She certainly knows what it sounds like now," Applejack replied. "Well, Eddie an' Ah had best be goin' now. Good luck!"

Suddenly, an owl hooted. Edward looked over, a serious expression on his face. "That doesn't bode well."

"What do you mean?" Henry asked, confused.

"There's an old legend about the branch to Harwich," Edward explained. "The line was ripped up in the 1930s, and the station master at Harwich, Peter Fogg, didn't take it very well. He set the old station ablaze so it would never close, and although the fire brigade were able to extinguish the fire, the old station master simply vanished. But they say whenever an owl hoots, a mist rolls in. And in that mist, the ghost of Peter Fogg can be found too."

Henry snorted. "Stupid bird."

"I don't think the owl appreciates you calling him stupid," Fluttershy said. "Harry over there is quite sensitive."

"Just how can you understand animals anyways?"

Henry rolled up the line, a scowl etched into his face. "I have no idea what Edward was talking about," he said. "Owls, mist, ghosts. He's going soft in the boiler, I tell you! There's no mist!"

But higher up the line, as they entered an old forest, full of dead trees that seemed intent on grabbing the big green engine. The mist rolled all around, looming and ominous. Henry couldn't see where he was going, but suddenly spotted a light in the distance. "What's that?" he asked.

Fluttershy slowed him down and stopped at the light. It was a yellow light attached to a distant signal that had been left there when the line had closed. "The signal has a high intensity light fitted," she said. "But we haven't taken any parts up the line to upgrade the signals! It's been token working so far!"

"Who's there?" Henry called. But nobody replied. He inched forward slowly, until he came to another signal, a lower quadrant signal set to red, fitted with another high intensity light. Next to it was a sign, written in red paint.

BEWARE OF THE VIADUCT

Fluttershy was getting creeped out. "W- what?" she asked. "There was nothing about the viaduct in the order papers! The signal's red, and the crossing gates in front are closed!"

"And there's a fogman's coat!" Henry exclaimed. Sure enough, a coat hung from a nearby tree. "But where's the owner?"

Suddenly, a light from the old Harwich station building caught their attention. A sickly yellow light suddenly moved from one room to another.

Fluttershy shivered. "This had better not be one of Rainbow Dash's pranks!" she said.

"There's no way she could do something this sophisticated!" Henry exclaimed. "It must be a ghost! By Stanier, Edward was right!"

"We should go back and try again tomorrow!" Fluttershy squeaked, setting Henry into reverse and backing him up the line.

"I'm not arguing with you on that one!" Henry replied.

The very next morning, Henry was still jittery from his encounter the previous night. Fluttershy and a foreman were talking to one another.

"Good thing you didn't cross the viaduct last night!" the foreman said. "It wasn't ready. But none of my crew put any of those warnings into place."

"That's just it!" Fluttershy said. "We have no idea who warned us." Once the foreman had gone, she spoke to Henry. "Good news, Henry! The viaduct's been repaired, and we can go again tonight."

Henry didn't like the sound of that, but, wanting to be brave for his friend, didn't object. He set about marshalling the train for the night, which was a hodge podge of bolster wagons, 12 ton vans, and a few 13 ton plank wagons. Due to the lack of a runround loop at the Harwich station site, he would need to propel the wagons down the line and leave them there. Although it was dark, the light was much better than the previous night. Due to the length of the train, he had no chance of running round at Peel Godred, and so needed to pull it back to there, and then propel it forward.

He sat in the centre loop, simmering gently. Suddenly, an owl hooted, and Gordon roared by with the express! He and Fluttershy were noticably startled by this, and the trucks chose to capitalise. "Oh look!" they cried. "Henry and Fluttershy are spooked! What scaredycats!" And they giggled in their silly way.

"Shut up!" Henry snapped, and bumped them. "We're not scared!" But as he set off for Peel Godred, he knew that was a lie.

After reversing at Peel Godred, they set off up the branch. As they approached the scene of the trouble, the mist suddenly rolled in again, and the amber light came into view once more.

"Well, here we go," Fluttershy said nervously, and opened the regulator a bit more. Henry soon sped down the line, but as he was at the back of the train, he couldn't see where he was going. As they continued on, the crossing gates moved seemingly by themselves, and the signal arm rose into the danger position.

The trucks saw this, and were spooked. "On! On! Faster! Faster! There's a ghost about!"

"Stop! Stop!" Henry cried, desparate not to encounter a ghost, but the heavy weight of the train meant he was struggling to slow down. The train collided with the crossing gates, and demolished them, taking part of the gate with it.

"I can't see!" the leading truck wailed.

The sickly yellow light came on once more as Henry shot past. Suddenly, three loud bangs sounded underneath the train.

"Detonators!" Henry cried. "There must be trou- LOOK OUT!"

Up ahead, a massive landslide blocked the line. Fluttershy slammed Henry's brakes on and prepared to jump. The trucks, unable to stop in time, collided with the landslide, and their sheer weight caused the coupling on Henry's end to snap. The leading trucks fell over the edge, well away from the viaduct, and plummeted into the ravine, the sounds of screams, tearing metal and broken wood audible for miles.

Henry just blinked at the van looking back at him. "What just happened?" the van asked.

Behind them was an odd squeaking sound. Fluttershy looked back to see a pump cart come to a stop. On it was an old man with white hair and a moustache, dressed in a brown suit. He climbed down from the pump cart and looked sternly at the mess in front of him.

"I tried to warn you of the blockage in the ravine," he said. "Why didn't you stop?"

"Sorry," Fluttershy said. "Thanks for the warnings. Is there anything we can do to help, Mr..."

"Cyril. Local fogman. I'd like to run the old station, if that's OK."

At the reopening ceremony for the Harwich line, Sir Toppham Hatt formally made Cyril the new station master. Afterwards, Henry spoke to Cyril. "Thank you for closing the crossing gates and operating the signal. We would never have stopped without them."

Cyril looked in confusion. "I never changed the signals or the level crossing. I only put the detonators down."

The steam in Henry's tubes ran cold. Was there a supernatural explanation for all of this? Was the railway still being protected by the ghost of Peter Fogg?

Author's Note

This is one of my favourite episodes of the show. True, the ending is somewhat predictable, but the atmosphere the episode creates is spine chilling; in many ways, my first encounter with horror.

Peter Fogg is a reference to a character from Postman Pat, partly because of his surname.

Thomas and the Rumours

Thomas and Twilight love working the Ffarquhar branch line. The scenery along the way, and the people they meet, help to make it the loveliest part of the Island of Sodor- in Thomas' opinion, at least! Of course, the fact they provide a vital service along the line and connect otherwise isolated communities helps greatly, and many people in the towns along the way know Thomas as a personal friend.

One Friday morning, Thomas came to a stop at Hackenbeck station to pick up some children for school. Hackenbeck didn't have a secondary school, so the children went to the one in Knapford instead. Instead of looking happy, most of them looked miserable.

"What's wrong?" Thomas asked. "Why are you all so glum?"

"I thought schoolkids were usually happy on Fridays!" Twilight added.

One of the children, Twist, spoke up. "They've clothed our favourite playground in the town, and they've remothed the thandpit too! The counthil thay that the thand is too dirty to play in."

Pipsqueak perked up. "Twilight, I know you and Thomas are on good terms with Sir Toppham Hatt. Please, do help us!"

Thomas looked concerned. One thing he hated was his friends being sad. "Sir Toppham Hatt is very prominent on the island," he said, "and if we can get him to apply pressure, we'll have that sandpit open again in no time. I'll see what Twilight and I can do."

He set off once they had boarded, and sure enough, they passed the playground that sat next to the line. Upon it was a large notice that read PLAYGROUND CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

"That really is bad!" Twilight said. "If they have nowhere to play outside, they'll stay indoors all day and play games, or read fanfiction!"

Oh dear, it looks like Twilight is breaking the 4th wall too. META JOKES EQUALS NOT FUNNY!

Thomas dropped off Annie and Clarabel in the sidings after the children had gotten off. He then proceeded to Tidmouth sheds, where the other engines were being readied for service. He was just about to speak up about the children when suddenly Percy rushed in, looking glum. Pinkie looked glum too; her hair was hanging in long strands rather than curly and puffed up.

"What's the matter, Percy?" asked Gordon. "You look miserable."

"I see your powers of observation have not left you," James said, sarcastically.

"Sir Toppham Hatt said he's using Harold to show the island off to a special visitor, rather than using any of the engines!" Percy exclaimed.

"And if he goes about by helicopter, whoever will he get to visit Sugarcube Corner and try the triple chocolate fudge cake?" Pinkie added.

"Or Carousel Boutique?" Rarity added. "Oh, THIS IS TERRIBLE!"

The engines were equally shocked. "Disgraceful!" exclaimed Gordon.

"Disgusting!" put in James.

"Despicable!" finished Henry.

"This has to be a joke!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "There's no way Sir Toppham Hatt thinks that a helicopter is the best way to look around the island! At least we can keep running in high winds!"

"We shall have to keep an eye out," Rarity added. "We must do something, after all. But what must we do?"

The engines and their drivers all murmured to one another, but no plan was reached.

Later that day, Gordon was working the Gravy Train, the Friday luncheon service that ran from Tidmouth to Vicarstown and return. Suddenly, Harold buzzed over him, flying far too low to be safe.

"Watch it!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "You nearly clipped Gordon's cab!"

"That silly whirlybird thinks he can go faster than me," Gordon growled. "I'll show him. I'll show him indeed."

Later, Henry saw Harold, and was equally annoyed. "He's only doing that because he thinks he's more important than I am!" he said. "He, for one, cannot fly down tunnels! This isn't Mission Impossible!" And he vanished into a tunnel whilst Harold ominously hovered outside the tunnel portal.

Even later, Percy came to a stop at Ellsbridge passing loop whilst waiting for Toby to bring the goods down from Ffarquhar quarry. Harold was hovering nearby, over a field of sheep. Then, just as suddenly, he flew away into the distance.

"Ahh!" Percy said, "That's what Harold is up to!"

"Making giant cakes?" Pinkie asked. "His rotors would be amazing for mixing cupcake batter!"

"No, silly! Counting sheep!"

"Oh. I'm always silly!"

That evening, the engines and their drivers discussed the situation, and it did not bode well.

"Harold," said Gordon grimly, "is trying to replace us and run a fast helicopter service across the island."

"He divebombed us!" Rainbow Dash added.

"He doesn't need tunnels to go under hills, he just goes over them," Henry added.

"There's nothing to be worried about!" Percy said. "He's only counting sheep, after all."

"Do you really think that Sir Toppham Hatt would hire a helicopter to count sheep?" Rarity asked. "The waste of aviation fuel would be terrible!"

"He's counting how many engines he can replace!" Gordon said. "Tomorrow, he'll see how useful and fast we are."

Thomas wanted to mention the playground, but they had to solve the mystery of Harold first.

The next morning, Gordon was on a positioning move from Knapford to Crovan's Gate to collect some coaches that had just been refurbished. As they thundered along the line, Harold buzzed overhead ominously.

Rainbow Dash glanced up, and shook her fist at the helicopter. "Time to show that silly chopper what we can do!" she shouted. Unfortunately, she had not been reading the signals carefully, as Gordon suddenly lurched off the mainline and onto an old stub that led to a tunnel.

"This isn't the right way!" Gordon shouted. "Brakes! Brakes!"

Rainbow Dash slammed on the brakes and shut the regulator, but it was too little, too late. Gordon's driving wheels locked, and he skidded into the tunnel and collided with something. That something was blown out of the tunnel by the force of the impact, and lay everywhere.

Later on, Thomas pulled Gordon out with the aid of the breakdown train. Sir Toppham Hatt was there as well, and he was not happy as he lay into Rainbow Dash for about half an hour. Thomas had no clue he could shout so loudly. Shaken, he spoke up. "Will Gordon be scrapped sir?"

"What?" Sir Toppham Hatt asked, confused. "What gives you that impression?"

"We and the other drivers and engines," Twilight started, "have been seeing Harold all over the place, and think that Harold is here to replace us!"

Sir Toppham Hatt laughed. "Well, they're wrong. You shouldn't listen to rumours, either of you. The reason Harold was being used was to find a new location for the children's playground, as it was easier to do so up in the air."

"And," said the inspector, "this tunnel sand will be perfect for the playground. Found by accident and rumour, you might say."

Harold is still often hired from his base for aerial survey work, and the engines know now that Harold isn't spying on them. Indeed, he is being really useful.

Author's Note

This episode is another strange one. Interestingly, it was based on an old magazine story (Rumours and Speculation from Issue 42, written by Andrew Brenner). Interestingly, Brenner would frequently refer back to old magazine stories during his time as the showrunner.

Peace and Quiet

"I don't know what the world is coming to!" Henry grumbled, as he pulled away from the docks. "I'm a busy engine, and the workload never seems to get lighter, no matter how many loads of trucks we move!"

Sodor had become very busy as a result of recent political realignments, and consequently the engines were constantly moving goods backwards and forwards on the island. Some of the trains were so long and so heavy that they needed multiple engines to move them! Eventually, Sir Toppham Hatt realised that the work was too much for his existing locomotives, and decided to bring in a new engine.

One morning, Thomas and Twilight arrived to see a new engine had been offloaded from a ferry and was being warmed up. He was painted orange with red and green lining, and was the longest engine Thomas had ever seen. He had two leading wheels and ten driving wheels, combined with a high running board and a gap in his frames so wide you could see daylight through it. He had a massive boiler, a pair of smoke deflectors, and a tender that looked somewhat American in design. The number on his cabside read 92134.

"Who's this?" Thomas asked.

"This," said Sir Toppham Hatt, "is 92134. He's a 9F 2-10-0, and he will be relieving most of you of your freight duties."

"That's not too surprising," Twilight said. "He does have more than 39,000 pounds of tractive effort."

"Hello!" called Percy, speeding by with a pair of flatbeds. "Welcome to Sodor!"

The big engine sighed. "You're a chatty bunch," he said, in a soft Scottish accent. "The name's Murdoch, and my driver- wait, where is my driver?"

Suddenly, loud bass music blasted from his footplate. A girl with electric blue and green hair and pale cream skin leaned out of the cab. Her eyes were hidden behind a pair of purple sunglasses, and she wore a zipped up white jacket with blue lining, a white skirt with a pair of quavers on them, a pair of purple leggings with pink streaks on them, and a pair of blue trainers with white bases, purple toecaps, and a light blue star set into them.

Murdoch sighed. "VINYL!" he shouted.

The girl removed her earpieces. "What?" she asked. "You killed the wubs!"

"Sorry about her," Murdoch said. "She's Vinyl Scratch, or Victoria Sanders. Now don't we have a train to work?"

Vinyl, grumbling, moved Murdoch's regulator, and he steamed away.

Twilight glanced at Pinkie, laughing. "Those two are polar opposites!" she said.

Murdoch was soon hooked up to a massive train which totalled well over 1,000 tons and seemed to stretch for miles behind him. Getting the right away, he soon set off, effortlessly moving the wagons, which would previously have needed two engines to pull them! As he went on his way, he rolled through noisy industrial areas and loud factories, which annoyed him.

"It's a lot louder than the Port Road," he grumbled. "I miss running up and down from Stranraer, don't you, Vinyl?" There was no reply. "Vinyl?" Still no reply. "Probably has her music on too loud."

Vinyl, of course, didn't hear a word he said. "This dubsteb is sweet!" she yelled.

"And that signal is at amber!" Murdoch shouted back.

Vinyl, removing her headphones, saw the signal up ahead and slammed on the brakes. "Good spot, Murdy," she smiled.

"Murdy?" Murdoch said. "That sounds like a swear word. Now get your headphones off and listen out! We've got proper work to do!"

"Oh, alright," Vinyl grumbled. "Next Bradford's gonna turn up and start bossing us about."

"He was quite the character," Murdoch admitted, as they went on with their journey.

By the end of the day, Murdoch was very tired indeed. He backed into the shed, looking forward to a good night's sleep, as he was out early tomorrow. The only problem was, the other engines were constantly asking him questions.

"What's the heaviest train you've ever pulled?" asked Henry.

"Did you ever work Marseilles harbour?" enquired James.

"Have you ever had an accident?" probed Edward.

"2,200 tons, no, and no," Murdoch replied. "Why would I even go to Marseilles? It's not even on my route!" He paused. "I have a question for you; do you ever shut up? I want some peace and quiet, and the last thing I want to do is share this shed with chatterboxes!"

"No need to be rude," Gordon snorted.

"We only want to be friendly," Percy added. But Murdoch had already drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Murdoch was resting nicely when suddenly, loud music and thunderously noisy bass echoed through the shed. "What the? VINYL!"

His driver, carrying a gigantic boombox, climbed onto his footplate and switched the music off. "What's your problem?"

"Must you listen to music so loudly?" Murdoch grumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Vinyl retorted. "It's the best way to wake up in the morning."

Murdoch set off for his train, another incredibly long working, and they puffed away. This train was bound for Peel Godred, although he would be stopping at Crovan's Gate to let an EM1 take over for the rest of the run. This time, he was mostly running through the open countryside, surrounded by nature and without a person in sight. He, at last, had his peace and quiet."

"This is just like home," he said quietly.

Vinyl, in comparison, was still listening to loud music. "Dubstep Dishwasher is the best!" she said suddenly.

Moments later, she spotted something on the line and applied the brakes. "Sheep on the line?" she exclaimed. "Why don't farmers maintain their fences properly around here?" She jumped out of the cab and went over to the sheep, trying to pursuade them to go back in. The only problem is, sheep have a very poor understanding of the concept of going in a straight line, and as a result getting them back into the field proved to be almost impossible. "I wish Tavi was here," she sighed. "I'll call for help."

Murdoch simmered crossly. They had been going so well, and these sheep had just gone and spoiled it. "Please be quiet!" he snapped at them. "Those chatterbox engines were preferable to this!"

Moments later, Toby arrived with a rake of cattle wagons. Flash and a farmer hopped off the footplate.

"Hello," Vinyl called. "Here to help with the sheep?"

"The very same," Flash replied. "You're Vinyl, right?"

"Yup!" Vinyl replied. "Flash, isn't it?"

"Yep. No time to chat, let's get the line clear!"

With the help of the farmer, they were able to get the sheep back into their field. Murdoch was soon on his way. "Thanks for the help, err..."

"Toby."

"Thanks for the help Toby!"

That night, Murdoch backed into Tidmouth sheds, but he was the first to speak. "Sorry about being so rude to you yesterday," he said.

"That's alright!" Edward smiled. "You were just tired, that's all, and we were probing somewhat with all those questions."

"It reminds me of that time that-"

"Is this one of your Sandbar stories?" Percy interrupted.

Murdoch laughed as James went on with his tale. Those sheep (and Vinyl) would have kept him awake, but the sound of conversation and laughter was much, much better.

Author's Note

Murdoch has no specified running number in the show, but I selected 92134 as that locomotive is the only surviving 9F with a double chimney, after 92085 was scrapped in 1980.

Do check out Jessie Nowak's channel. She's great.

Rheneas and the Rollercoaster

Rheneas the little engine-

"Who are you calling little?"

Sorry, Rheneas. I'll start again. Rheneas the narrow gauge engine, despite his age, is a well loved and greatly valued member of the Skarloey Railway fleet, being the Gallant Old Engine who saved the railway from closure many years ago. He is a good worker too, and he and Yona can be relied upon to do practically anything asked of them, given that both of them are young (in a sense, given that Rheneas had most of his parts replaced at the last overhaul).

One morning, as the engines were being lit up for duty, Mr Percival came over to the sheds to issue the day's work. "Good morning!" he called.

"Good morning Mr Percival!" the engines and their drivers chorused.

"I am here to give you your work orders today," Mr Percival continued. "Peter Sam, Silverstream, Sir Handel, Gallus, and Skarloey and Ocellus, you're on passenger duties today."

"See?" Silverstream giggled. "I told you Tuesdays were great!"

"I beg to differ," grumbled Sir Handel. He was still a little sleepy.

Mr Percival went on, ignoring the conversation. "Duncan and Smoulder, I want you two to bring a slate train down from Blue Mountain. They've had a heavy load lately, and I want Rusty and Sandbar to assist with braking."

"Yes sir!" Smoulder replied. "Think you have what it takes, Sandy?"

"I was born ready," Sandbar smirked. "Rusty's got good brakes too."

"Just be careful," Ocellus said nervously. "Those gradients are pretty steep."

"What about me, sir?" Rheneas asked.

"I have a special job for both you and Yona," Mr Percival replied.

"Hooray!" Yona cried, bouncing about on Rheneas' footplate. "Yona love special jobs!"

"Rheneas not love being used as a trampoline!"

"I," Mr Percival continued, "want both of you to take a special train with a group of schoolchildren and their teacher onboard. They are travelling up to the lake for a field trip. You must make sure they have a good time and are back before 5."

Rheneas' face fell. That work did sound very difficult indeed, and he wasn't too sure about schoolchildren.

Rheneas puffed into the platform at Crovan's Gate with two open air coaches. He recognised quite a few of the children from summer trips, as well as their teacher, Miss Cheerilee. They must have been from Knapford Secondary School. As they boarded, Rusty rolled to a stop in the loop with a line of vans.

"Rusty," Rheneas asked, "can I have some advice on how to make this trip special? I'm not that up to date on what is 'hip and cool' amongst youngsters."

Rusty laughed. "I'm probably not the best engine to ask. I am more than 60 years old now, but I have some good ideas for fun. Children often react well to a good performance from the engine, as I recall from that time I helped with a massive train at the Leighton Buzzard!"

"Just do what you always do!" Sandbar said. "You know this line better than anybody else. Show them the best sights!"

Just then, the guard blew his whistle and waved his green flag. Rheneas set off, not convinced his best would be what the children wanted to see. At least there was no WiFi coverage at the lake.

As they proceeded up the line, Yona would periodically stop the train to point out sights of interest. "That over there is Rheneas waterfall!" she said. "Yona love to hike by waterfall, as waterfall very pretty!"

Some of the students at the back sniggered at Yona's poor English, whilst Cheerilee took the opportunity to give a quick language lesson. "Rheneas means waterfall in Sudric. So, in a sense, it's the waterfall waterfall!"

Rheneas rolled his eyes. This wasn't special at all. He went by it every day. "I must find something special!" he said.

"This is Skarloey Lake! Yona recommend lake for swimming!"

"Skarloey also translates as lake," Cheerilee told the class. "So, we are next to the lake lake! Bala, in North Wales, has the same etymological route."

"Train now crossing big viaduct! Big viaduct takes line over big ravine! Ravine not scary to Yona, though ravine full of spiders." Yona shuddered at that thought. "Yona not like spiders."

Rheneas was still worried, although the children were seemingly enjoying themselves.

Meanwhile, Rusty was running along the other part of the loop, when he suddenly lurched into the air. "Oh my gears and axles!" he exclaimed. "This track is bad! If it continues like this, I'll stall!"

Sandbar brought him to a stop. He got off and inspected the track behind them. "No wonder it's so bumpy," he said. "The heavy weight of the construction vehicles building that new quarry, as well as the recent rains, have compromised the trackbed. We'll need to close the loop and make it safe." Getting back aboard, he opened up the throttle towards Blue Mountain Quarry.

Rheneas stopped at the Lake station for his allocated stop, and the students went away on their nature walk. Rheneas looked glum.

"What's wrong, Rheneas?" Yona asked. "Engine look glum!"

"We really need to make this trip special!" Rheneas exclaimed. "And nothing we've seen so far is special."

"Children happy!" Yona said. "That alone makes it special. Now, Yona off to get a bite to eat at Sugarcube Corner. See you later!"

Rheneas sat there, looking about. A few hours later, the children got back onboard, and they set off again. Unfortunately, the track crew had forgotten to warn them the other portion of the loop was out of action. Rheneas soon realised his mistake when he raced past two red flags. "This section is out for maintenance!" he cried. "Brakes!"

Yona slammed the brakes on, but the track, which thanks to the damage and subsidence was now at a gradient of 1 in 17, prevented the train from stopping. Rheneas skidded past another loop where Rusty was sitting with the maintenance train.

"Slow down!" Rusty shouted. "It's not safe!"

"I CAN'T!" Rheneas called back.

Sandbar's face went pale. "The slate train's still in the section ahead!" he cried, grabbing his phone. "I need to warn control to switch them off."

Rheneas flew down the damaged track with dangerous speed. He bounced back and forth on the poorly maintained track, and the coaches rocked back and forth. Yona held on for dear life, but the children seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Ahead, he saw the slate train slowly pulling into the loop. He whistled frantically. "HURRY UP! HURRY UP!"

Duncan shot forwards and cleared the siding just in time, as Rheneas rocketed past. "What was that?" he asked. "And why is the camera tilted?"

Smoulder groaned. "Duncan, please don't break the fourth wall!"

Rheneas, on the other hand, continued to fly along at high speed. All other traffic on the line had been halted to let Rheneas through safely, and he whizzed through Cross-ny-Cuirn, past a very amused Gallus.

"He's in a hurry."

The little red tank engine continued to bounce along the track, whizzing under Rheneas waterfull with such force that Cheerilee almost lost her hat! She looked somewhat ill, but the children seemed happy.

At long last, Yona brought the train to a stop at Crovan's Gate, and the children and their teacher got off. "Phew," Cheerilee replied. "That was a wild ride, and I had a fair few with Duke. But we're back on time."

Apple Bloom looked ecstatic. "That were a wild ride!" she exclaimed. "Course, Ah know some hair raisin' times, like those vans on Gordon's Hill..."

"We have a great day out!" said Scootaloo. "You might want to fix the track, though..."

Mr Percival emerged from his office to speak to Rheneas and Yona. "Very well done, you two," he said. "You gave the children a wonderful day out. I knew I could count on you two."

Rheneas could only beam in happiness.

Author's Note

Skip to 7:39 to see the event Rusty is referring to. Incidentally, that same day out was when I first had the idea that eventually became Railway Adventure.

Gallus' line about being in a hurry is a reference to a joke in Skyfall, one of the Bond movies.

Rusty and the Boulder

High up in the hills of Sodor sits a mysterious boulder, called the Old Man of the Lake. Nobody knows for sure how long it has been there, but it continues to look down over the Skarloey Railway, which runs nearby to the site where it sits. However, in more recent times, the area has attracted interest for quarrying, as it contains a good seam of granite, which is a perfect material for building houses. And this meant that the engines of the Skarloey Railway, naturally enough, were roped into the construction efforts.

One morning, Rusty came to a stop with a train of granite from the quarry. Thomas and Percy were there to collect the granite load, and take it onwards to places far away. This was the train the railwayman called-

"You've used that joke three times, Mr Narrator! Don't you think it's getting a teensy weensy bit old?"

"Pinkie, who are you talking to?" Twilight asked. "There's nobody there!"

"That's what you think," Pinkie replied.

"Anyways," Percy interrupted, "good morning Rusty! Good morning Sandbar! Where's all this rock coming from?"

"The new quarry, of course!" Rusty replied. "This granite is extremely useful for many things. But I don't feel safe there, and neither does Sandbar."

"Why?" Thomas asked. "What's up there?"

"The Old Man of the Lake," Rusty replied. "You're the geologist Sandbar; please do explain what it is."

"OK," Sandbar replied. "The Old Man of the Lake is a massive boulder, which we think was deposited during the last ice age. It's in a precarious spot, and I think it's watching us."

"How can it?" Percy asked. "It's a boulder; boulders don't have eyes!"

"That may be so," Rusty said, "but I still feel uneasy nontheless."

Twilight decided to change the subject. "How's your relationship with Ocellus going, Sandbar?"

"Great, thanks," the boy replied. "We've started formally dating."

"I'll bake the wedding cake!" Pinkie exclaimed.

The merriment was interrupted by Edward rolling to a stop with a flatbed. On it was a large red machine with a cut back cab and two front mounted jackhammers.

"What's that?" asked Thomas.

"My name's Thumper," the machine replied, speaking with a thick Cumbric accent. "I'm a prototype crawler machine, built from bits of a Granite Grinder and a KV-1 tank. My jackhammers loosen the rock and make it fall faster."

"Fascinating!" Twilight said. "I must witness this in action!"

Thumper went into service the next day. His unusual appearance and the amount of dust he threw up was counterbalanced by how quickly the rock was falling from the cliff face. The repeated twin impacts made the entire area shake, and little did anybody know, this would have disastrous consequences for all concerned.

That evening, Rusty was being hooked up to the last slate working of the day. There was no runround loop at the quarry, so trains had to be propelled into the quarry site and worked out cab first. As Sandbar finished linking the chains, there was suddenly a loud cracking noise. A massive slab of rock landed on the track as the rain began to pour. "Good heavens!" he cried.

"The rain's starting to weaken the rock," Sandbar explained. "The sooner we get this lot down to Crovan's Gate, the better. I don't want to be here much longer."

"I think Boulder doesn't want us to be here," Rusty whispered, and they were soon on their way. But, as they left the quarry, Rusty could've sworn the boulder was glaring at him with an angry face.

The next day, the weather had cleared and Thumper was immediately put back into service. Smoke and dust filled the air as more rock continued to fall and be collected. Suddenly, the same cracking sounds and bangs from before could be heard. More booms echoed through the air as the workmen began to run.

"Clear the quarry area! The rockface is giving way!" shouted the foreman. Thumper rolled slowly out of position and tried to clear the area.

Rusty glanced up, and saw what was going on. He gasped. "Boulder's moving!" he shouted.

"Is it?" Sandbar asked. "I can't see it-"

Suddenly, Boulder rolled forward, and fell off its perch. It crashed to the ground and landed in front of Rusty.

"-move."

The quarry line is on a slight gradient. Boulder ominously began to move towards them.

"It's moving down our line!" Rusty shouted. "Back, Sandbar, back!"

Sandbar, nearly jamming the gears, set Rusty into reverse and sped backwards along the line. They sped along the track and reversed onto an access line that ran parellel to the main quarry line, stopping beside a tree.

"We'll wait here until it's safe," Sandbar said, glancing around him warily. "I don't wanna be mincemeat."

But Boulder was nowhere to be seen.

Sandbar looked behind him. "Help! It's behind us!" He put Rusty into forward and they sped along the main line once more. The quarry line was quite long, cut through a wide expanse of rock, and they approached a siding which (luckily) was set to take them off the main line. Rusty went into the siding and skidded to a stop as Boulder thundered past them.

"That was lucky," Rusty said. "Are there any other trains in the section?"

Sandbar's face went white with horror. "I must warn them!" he cried, his hand going for the in cab radio.

Skarloey and Ocellus were proceeding up the line with some slate trucks, not expecting anything to be wrong. Just then, the cab radio buzzed. "Hello?" Ocellus asked. "This is Oce-"

"You ha-e to [static] o-f line! -Ou-der in -wa-!"

"Message not understood, please repeat, over?"

"Ocellus!" Skarloey called. "There's a great big boulder coming our way!"

Ocellus glanced up to see Boulder racing towards them. She grabbed at the throttle lever, stopped Skarloey, and then set him into full reverse, hoping to outrun Boulder.

"YEEEEEEEEOIKS!" Skarloey cried, as they thundered backwards down the fierce gradient. But Boulder got closer and closer.

Ocellus was in a state of fully blown panic, but, glancing behind her, saw that a track switch had been set for the main line. She grabbed a lump of coal from Skarloey's bunker, and threw it at the switch. The force of the impact was enough to change the points, and they flew into the siding and came to a stop. Boulder raced by and demolished the water tower.

Skarloey looked back. "You're all wet!" he said, referring to Ocellus' somewhat soggy appearance.

"Better that than dead!" Ocellus replied. Rusty arrived moments later.

"We have to warn Crovan's Gate!" Skarloey called.

"But how?" Rusty asked. "Our radios cannot reach control; the wavelength is too short!"

"And Rheneas is out on a passenger train!" Ocellus added. "How are we going to warn Yona? I couldn't understand your message!"

"If they can't stop the boulder before it reaches the junction, Crovan's Gate is doomed," Rusty said grimly.

Rheneas was running up the line to the lake with some passengers when he saw Boulder running off the quarry line. "Yona! It's running loose!" he shouted.

Yona yelled in shock. "Yona not want to be pancake!" she shouted, and cranked open Rheneas' regulator even more, to try and clear the track before Boulder got to them. They raced along the still bumpy stretch of track and skidded into the platform at Lakeside just in time, as Boulder roared by them once more.

"Rather a smash than a squash," Rheneas sighed.

Peter Sam brought his train to a stop at the station by the lake. Suddenly, he heard a loud rumbling. "What's that?" he asked.

"It must be something REALLY weird!" Silverstream exclaimed. And then, Boulder rumbled into view.

"Cinders and ashes! It's coming straight for us!"

And it was. Boulder rolled through the fence that divided the land from the lake, and fell downwards, falling on top of a petrol tank for the boats. This tank exploded, wreathing Boulder in flames, before Boulder fell into the lake and came to a stop.

It took the fire brigade more than two hours to put out the resulting fire, and the damage ran into the thousands of pounds. Mr Percival's words were perhaps the most sage. "We," he said, "should close the quarry. We should have left this part of the Island alone."

Boulder was recovered from the Lake, and today sits high upon a hill that faces the mountain where it once stood. Rusty will tell you that, to this day, Boulder is looking out upon the hill it used to call home, the wind being its mournful cries as it gazes upon where it once stood.

And I think Rusty is right. Do you?

Author's Note

Thumper would actually be completely impractical as a quarrying machine. Barring his lack of a cab, the most he would be able to do is crack the rock, rather than break it.

The Granite Grinder was the name of a drilling machine in the Rock Raiders universe. The name was reused for a similar machine in the Power Miners range released a decade later.

The Fastest Red Engine on Sodor

James is a red engine who is vain to a fault, and likes going very fast indeed. Unfortunately, he has a tendancy to sometimes go too fast, and this often landed him in trouble of sorts.

But it was another pleasant morning on the Island of Sodor, and everybody was busy. Toby puffed out of Knapford Station running light engine. He had been required to help out in the sidings as the workload had overwhelmed Stepney, and he was now on his way back to Ffarquhar to collect some trucks.

A butterfly flew in front of him, and hovered briefly on the wind. "Oh!" Toby said. "Look at that, Flash! Pretty, eh?"

"It sure is!" Flash replied. "Summer breeze, cool air, friends by your side, what more could you possibly want?"

Moments later, the AWS triggered in Toby's cab, bringing him to a stop in front of a diamond switch. "What the?" he asked.

Seconds later, James roared through and into the junctions, seemingly tipping slightly as he flew by.

"Hey! Slow down!" Flash shouted.

"Terribly sorry, darling, but the timetable's tight!" Rarity called.

James, on the other hand, took no notice of the fact he had just whizzed through at dangerously high speed. "Make way! Make way!" he called, as he skidded to a stop in the platform. The stop was so sudden that many of the passengers were thrown out of their seats. They sat back up or got out, grumbling as they did so about smooth running and 'stopping distances'.

James, however, paid them no notice. "Hello Henry!" he called. "How are you today?"

Henry sighed. "Good morning, James," he replied. He was getting tired of James' recklessness, but as he was about to speak, Sir Toppham Hatt emerged from his office.

"James!" he boomed. "You came into the platform going much too fast! I know emergency braking when I see it, and you are doing it too often! Not only will such reckless running cause an accident, it causes discomfort for the passengers!"

"Well, sir," Rarity said, "this new summer timetable does require us to run very close to the speed limit, and judging the stopping distance into Knapford isn't particularly easy."

"But Sir Toppham Hatt is right, you know!" Henry added. "Such aggressive braking will wear down the brake blocks and cause an accident!"

"Especially considering you have a history of brake malfunctions," Thomas added, pulling up with Annie and Clarabel.

"What are you doing here?" Fluttershy asked. "Your branchline starts at the junction!"

"There's a burst water pipe at Knapford Junction," explained Twilight, "so all Ffarquhar trains are starting and terminating here."

"Be thankful there are water pipes," Gordon added, pulling into the platform with a semi fast. "The men on the mainland keep taking them away. Flying Scotsman was telling me yesterday they have to keep refilling him from a lorry, which is most undignified."

James spoke up, keen to return the conversation to its original course. "I remember all that!" he said. "But they refitted me, removing the wooden brake blocks and fitting metal ones. And, of course, I was painted red!" Seeing this as a good chance to slip away from the conversation, he pulled away with his train.

Henry sighed. "Those metal brake blocks didn't help him in that tanker crash. I hope he learns from that one." Henry set off as well, coupled to nothing.

Twilight called back. "Fluttershy, you've got the lamps set up wrong! You want light engine, not minerals!"

James steamed confidently along the line. "I'm the fastest engine on Sodor!" he proclaimed.

"I beg to differ!" Rarity exclaimed. "Why, Gordon can easily run faster than us, and Electra can sprint at 80 miles an hour with no difficulty!"

"Well then, I'm the fastest red engine on Sodor!" James replied.

"You're the only red standard gauge engine on Sodor," Rarity answered. "There's no chance of Mike being able to get up to these speeds!"

"So my statement stands correct!" James laughed. "Silly old Henry, clever me! Why, I can stop in no time at all if I want to!"

At the next station, James' train terminated, so he was switched onto a goods train. "Why this again?" he complained. "I'm far too splendid to pull trucks!"

"No engine is above pulling trucks, you know," said a familiar voice. Stepney finished shunting the trucks into position and whistled. "I'm very used to mixed workings. I did them all the time on Hayling Island. Most of us were older than the coaches we were pulling!"

"If only Sir Toppham Hatt would import some birdcage coaches for us," Sweetie Belle sighed. "The Little Western is in dire need of some bigger coaches. The four wheelers can only take so many people."

"These trucks should be glad I'm the ones pulling them," James snorted, and pulled away without another word. He was grumpy now, and having a bad day, and going faster than the safe speed for unfitted wagons (35 miles per hour). So annoyed was he, Rarity had to snap him out of it.

"Look out James! There's a train entering the section in front of us!"

James looked up, and gasped. "Brakes please!" he called. Rarity slammed on the brakes, sparks flying from the brake blocks as he came to a sudden and dramatic stop. Unfortunately, he had overshot the signal, and Rarity had to let the brakes off and back him up to clear the section.

"I do say," said Derek, as he rolled to a stop. "That was some quite violent braking. I haven't seen brake blocks spark like that in a long time."

"My father once had to do an emergency stop at the controls of a Deltic," Octavia pointed out. "The blocks were glowing white hot when they had stopped completely. You may want to get those changed."

"Or he didn't leave enough stopping distance," Derek continued. "An unfitted goods takes a very long time to stop, even from 30 miles an hour. Be careful!"

James dropped off his goods at Crovan's Gate, and was sent over to the works to have his brake blocks checked. However, the workers at the shop found nothing wrong, and so James was cleared to run back to Tidmouth light engine. Unfortunately, what nobody knew was that James' brake blocks were indeed faulty. They were old and worn, and it wouldn't be long until they failed altogether. James was, of course, oblivious to this, and continued to fly along at incredible speed on his journey home. He stormed up Gordon's Hill, puffing and panting like an angry dragon, until he reached the top. Rarity shut off steam and applied the brakes.

There was a horrendous screeching noise as they engaged, but they seemed to be having little to no effect. They were worn so badly they could barely produce the friction required to slow James down.

"This isn't good!" James shouted.

"I can see that, darling!" Rarity called. "I'll put you into reverse!" She took off the cutoff lock, wound it full back, and then locked it again. James' wheels began to spin backwards. Instead of slowing him down, he simply began to slip, and he reached the bottom of Gordon's Hill doing well over 70 miles an hour.

"OH NOT AGAIN!" James cried, as he flew along uncontrollably. "I CAN'T STOP!"

Rarity grabbed the cab radio. "This is NWR No 5, over. We have lost control and cannot stop! Requesting derailment siding be set for us!"

"Copy that. Wellsworth derailment siding has been set for you, over."

James continued to fly along out of control, passing Gordon flying by with the express. Sir Toppham Hatt looked over in alarm.

"Oh not again," he grumbled.

Wellsworth was coming up. The siding was set. "Time to bail!" Rarity said, and jumped clear as James hit the siding. The red engine tipped over and crashed into the ballast, smacking into the buffers... and through them... and straight into the booking office (which was thankfully empty), where the basement suddenly collapsed beneath his weight, causing him to fall straight into it.

The breakdown train arrived a few minutes later to recover the mess. James was in a mess. Dented boiler cladding, a battered chimney, scuffed paintwork. It would be a very long time until he was rail worthy again. As he was lowered onto a flatbed, Rarity was horrified. "Good Heavens! You look a mess!"

"That's one way of putting it," James replied. "At least we've learned two important things from today."

"What are they?"

"One; I am most certainly the fastest red engine on Sodor. The second? I am never going that fast again!"

Author's Note

The main problem with this episode is that steam engines don't use brake fluid (another piece of evidence in my thesis that many of the recent writers know very little about railways). James would instead be fitted with a vacuum controlled steam brake.

The crash here was inspired by an incident that occurred in New York, where a GG1 fell into a basement.

Cranky Bugs

Thomas and Percy had been asked to work at Tidmouth Docks for a few days, as the depot shunter was being worked incredibly hard and could barely keep up with the workload. Normally, they liked working at the docks, as they liked the sea air and the sound of the gulls. They also got on with Big Mickey, one of the dock cranes.

But one morning, they were feeling hot and bothered. A new crane had just been installed, and he was, to put it politely, a mountain of bossiness mounted on a lattice girder pile (seemingly made from copious amounts of Airfix box girder bridge). As he rotated around, he regarded the world with a sneer, his name, 'Cranky' clearly visible on the sides of his housing.

"Eh, you lot!" he snapped, in a harsh urban voice. "You're useless, you know that? Right bugs. If you put the trucks closer, I wouldn't need to bring my arm across so far!"

"Rubbish!" snapped Thomas. "We've always done it this way, and no crane has ever complained."

"Well, you weren't dealing with me, were you?" Cranky replied, and slammed the load down on the quayside.

Twilight shook her head as she looked at Pinkie. "What is wrong with this crane?" she asked. "He'll cause an accident some day!"

Later that day, they met with Gordon and James to discuss the matter.

"I'm not surprised," Gordon said, sounding disappointed. "You'd expect a Goole crane to be a good, fine thing. Then again, that docks was Lancashire and Yorkshire..."

"What are you suggesting?" James asked.

"Nothing in particular."

"Besides, darlings, I find it helps to see the matter from the other side," Rarity interjected. "Cranky is high in the sky, and has to content with rain and wind. If you two aren't in the optimum position, he can't load the trucks properly."

"But he's a complete meanie!" Pinkie protested.

"One we'll have to work with," Percy said sadly.

Sadly, Cranky proved to be a right spot of bother. Upon learning the island's bigger engines agreed with him, he grew even bossier. "Move those trucks closer, Percy!" he said. "I can't load them from there!"

So Percy moved them closer- only to get a crate to the face.

"OW! THAT HURT!"

"They were too close. Don't push them that far next time."

"You did that on purpose," Percy moaned, as he reversed to let the cargo be loaded correctly.

Later on, Thomas came in with a set of trucks to be loaded, but Cranky was yet again trying to irritate him. "Move those onto the outside line," he said. "I can load them more easily from there."

Thomas grumbled the whole way, but moved the trucks from the closest track to the outer one. "Hurry up! I can't wait all day, Cranky!"

Cranky then dropped the load next to the track, not in the trucks.

"What was that for? I only put the trucks where you told me to put them!"

"You must know that my arm cannot reach that far!"

The delays began to stack up. The issues led to trains running very late, and Thomas, Twilight, Percy, and Pinkie got to the sheds very late indeed. Sir Toppham Hatt looked most displeased.

"I have heard," he said, "that you lot have not been cooperative with Cranky. He has an important job to do, so I expect all of you to do better tomorrow."

"Sir," Pinkie protested, "that crane is a big meanie and has been dropping things in the wrong places on purpose so we look stupid!"

"That's not what the foreman told me," Sir Toppham Hatt sighed. "But I'll look into it nontheless. Now you four, get some rest. You have a long day ahead of you."

That night, a massive storm raged across the Island. Everybody battened down their hatches and took refuge from the weather. Extra guide cables were use to stabilise tall structures, and Duck, Henry, Gordon and James shivered under their roof.

"This storm's bad!" Henry called.

"Ahh, it reminds me of the Great Gale of Falmouth!" Duck said. "I was at the docks, shunting, as the usual engine had broken down, and then the rain lashed down so fiercely my wheels began to slip!"

"That must have been frightening!" James said. "However did you make it?"

"Determination, and a good deal of sand. After all, there's two ways of doing things, the-"

"WE KNOW!" the other engines chorused.

"But I think we'll be safe," Duck finished.

Duck was wrong. Out at sea, a tramp steamer, Kraka-Toa, was imbound with a load of munitions to be offloaded, due to be taken to a gunpowder factory. Unfortunately, the vessel linkage had broken in the storm and was the vessel was running out of control. The vessel impacted the land, ran aground onto the docks, and demolished the support beam of the shed. The shed toppled over, and triggered a chain reaction of destruction. A gantry fell onto the steamer, and the munitions ignited. The resulting explosion caused Cranky to topple and fall over the tracks with a loud thud.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

Sir Toppham Hatt sped to the scene of the disaster as fast as he could. Whilst the fire brigade battled to put out the flaming ship, he was already taking command of the ground rescue. "Thomas, Percy, pull Cranky up! I know he's been causing you trouble today, but now is not the time for petty rivalry. Cranky, once you're up, lift the shed roof. I have no idea why you have such a problem with steam engines, so bury it and move on."

Thomas and Percy pulled up, and heavy guide cables were attached to their frames. Working together, they pulled Cranky back upright.

"Don't stop!" Twilight called. "Keep on moving!"

Once Cranky was back up, his (thankfully undamaged) arm was able to lift the damaged shed roof clear. Gordon sighed in relief. "Thank you for saving us, Cranky. I don't think we would have escaped otherwise. That disaster may have taken our sleep, but it never took our resolve."

"I had to be saved first," Cranky said. "By a pair of small engines. But you two wouldn't mind moving, please?!

Percy was offended. "As you wish," he said, and backed up.

"Percy, no! You're still atta-"

Cranky crashed to the ground.

"What was that for?"

"Well, you did ask us to move out of the way," Pinkie smiled, "so we did. It's called malicious compliance."

Cranky is now back to work at the docks. He may have a somewhat low opinion of smaller engines, but he knows not to call them bugs again.

Author's Note

This is another episode I have very vivid memories of, partly because I had a cassette tape with the US narration. Before that point, I had no idea that there were two different narrators.

Henry Spots Trouble

Henry has been a resident of Sodor for many a long year, and has worked his hardest for most of it. As a mixed traffic locomotive, he can do most of the work assigned to him, assuming it doesn't exceed his power classification of 5. But as useful as he is, he is something of a serial worrier, as is his driver, Fluttershy.

One morning, Henry arrived at Knapford station, unusually facing the Tidmouth end whilst running light engine from Vicarstown. Sir Toppham Hatt was there to greet him on the platform, whilst his two grandchildren stood behind him.

"Good morning Henry and Fluttershy!" he said. "I'm taking Stephen and Bridget out today on the island." Both children stepped forward. Their faces were covered in red spots, which they kept scratching.

"Don't scratch them," Fluttershy said. "That'll only make them worse! That looks like the time Angel came down with the bunnyflu."

"Is there such a thing as a the bunnyflu?"

"Yes, there is."

"Whatever bunnyflu is, neither Stephen nor Bridget have it," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "They've been stuck in quarantine for a few days as they've got chickenpox."

"What's chickenpox?" Henry asked.

"It's an infectious disease," Fluttershy explained. "You don't need to worry about me, I'm already vaccinated against it."

Henry, however, was now very confused. He didn't quite understand what all that was about, and wondered whether engines could catch chickenpox too. Sir Toppham Hatt's car roared off into the distance and bounced along the country lanes as Henry went to fetch his coaches for the day. That, and use a turntable, as otherwise he'd have to run tender first.

Meanwhile, Thomas was picking up some chickens at Farmer Finney's. They were all loaded in wicker boxes, which were then loaded into open sided vans so the chickens could breathe. Meanwhile, Terence was trying to get moving.

"I thought it would be easy to get the old tractor out!" he said. "But this mud is something else."

"Wait a moment, Ah'll increase the clutch," said Big Mac, and he moved the lever and floared the accelerator. Mud flew from Terence's caterpillar tracks and splattered all over Thomas.

"Hey! Watch where you're throwing all that mud!"

"Sorry!" Terence called. "It's this bloomin' tractor!"

"Ah can help wash Thomas off!" Big Mac called. "He does look a bit of a mess."

"Never mind!" Twilight called. "We need to drop these chickens off soon."

"I can always get a wash later!" Thomas added, and he pulled away.

Henry came to a stop at Wellsworth to meet a train coming in from Brendam, but he couldn't stop thinking about chickenpox. He jumped when Edward clattered in with his coaches.

"Good morning Henry!" called Edward.

Applejack hopped off Edward's footplate and secured him. "Why, Henry, yer lookin' sicker than a mule," she said. "How are ya feelin'?"

"It's terrible!" Henry said. "I saw Sir Toppham Hatt's grandchildren earlier today, and they're all spotty. They have chickenpox!"

"So they've got it too," Applejack sighed. "Apple Bloom's cooped up with it too. Ah wanted ta stay and look after her, but Granny an' Grandpa say they can handle it no problem. Besides, chickenpox ain't a big deal when yer a kid."

"I fear I'm going to get it too!" Henry exclaimed.

"I don't think engines can get chickenpox, or at least I've never seen a case of it," Edward mused. "Oh, and your lamp is still wrong. You're a Class B working, not a Class J."

"611?"

"Not that type of Class J!" Edward replied. "Through mineral or empty wagon train."

As Edward moved off to take on water, Thomas arrived with his delivery. "Hello Henry!" he called.

Henry, however, gasped in horror when he saw the sight. "Spots!" he cried. "And chickens! Chickenpox!" He then began to pull away before the doors could be closed.

"Henry! The signal's still at danger!" Fluttershy called. "And it's before our booked departure time!"

Elsewhere, Derek was busy marshalling some stone trucks at Vicarstown when 'Arry arrived with a load of scrap. "Good afternoon 'Arry!" the bigger diesel smiled.

'Arry smiled mischeviously. Seconds later, he shot forwards, smoke shooting from his exhaust and leaving a cloud all over Derek.

Derek coughed. "Good grief! Your engine is in need of a tune-up!"

Octavia coughed and spluttered. "Must you uncultured oafs pollute the air with your buffoonery?"

"Oops!" Arry laughed. "Sorry, Derek!"

Henry was later puffing along the line when he saw Derek approaching on his way to Brendam Docks. His face and bodywork was covered in soot, and he was coughing as he went along. "I think some of that got stuck in my air intakes."

Henry gasped in horror. "Chickenpox! Derek has chickenpox! It can infect diesels too!" He suddenly lurched forward and sped away into the distance.

Derek blinked in confusion. "Chickenpox? Whatever is he talking about?"

"Engines can't get chickenpox," Octavia sighed. "Is this another of Vinyl's pranks?"

Henry was running so fast in his desperation to get away from Derek that the coaches weren't running well. The passengers were hurled about like peas on a frying pan!

"This is terrible! Worse than a boneshaker!" said one.

"If I had wanted to ride on a bumpy train I'd have gone on Northern Rail!" said another.

Just down the line at Kellsthorpe Road, Gordon had called with the Up Wild Nor' Wester, whilst a careless painter was repainting a telephone box. The painter was so careless, he kicked the paint can all over the track, making it look like a murder had just been committed. Moments later, James rushed through and the paint flew everywhere.

The paint was all over the track. It was all over the sleepers. It was all over the station canopy. It was all over the ballast. It was all over Gordon's face. The only place where there was no paint was the painter or the telephone box.

Gordon looked at him angrily. "Oh, the indignity," he fumed.

"How can Gordon pull the express now?" Rainbow Dash asked. "He looks like somebody through a tomato in his face!"

Just then, Henry slowed down for his stop, and saw Gordon's face covered in red spots. He screamed in terror, and immediately began running in reverse- running wrong line!

"CHICKENPOX! CHICKENPOX!"

Henry ran through a set of junctions as Murdoch ground to a halt, the AWS having halted him in an emergency. "Henry!" he snapped. "What's going on? You're not Auto-Fitted!"

"CHICKENPOX IS EVEN SCARIER THAN RAIN!" Henry cried.

"Even I can hear that through my headphones!" Vinyl commented.

Even further down the line, Edward was taking a special train to Vicarstown when he was suddenly swung off into the loop. "What's going on? We've got priority!"

Then they saw Henry race through the section, going wrong line. "Henry! Yer runnin' Wrong Line!" Applejack shouted. "The signals ain't blocked back against ya!"

Henry began reversing up Gordon's Hill, but Gordon was catching up.

"KEEP AWAY! KEEP AWAY!"

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Whatever is the matter with you today? You're going to cause an accident!"

Fluttershy looked out of the cab (although her visibility was severely restricted by the coaches) and was unable to see if anything was behind them. She slammed the brakes on, but this did little good as the regulator had primed.

Sir Toppham Hatt heard all the noise from a nearby road, so parked his car at the side of the road and got out to see what was going on. He nearly did a double take when Henry sped past going wrong line in reverse! "HENRY!" he boomed. "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?"

At Wellsworth, Fluttershy finally got Henry back under control, and shut off steam. She was not happy. "What were you thinking?" she scolded. "You nearly hurt our passengers!"

Just then, Thomas returned from up the branch. There were no longer any spots on his face.

"Thomas?" Henry asked, confused. "What happened to your spots?"

"Nothing a rag and some water couldn't solve," Twilight smiled. "I washed them off whilst at Brendam."

"And my face," said Gordon, "is covered in red paint spilled by a careless painter who didn't seem to understand the concept of yellow lines on platforms."

Henry suddenly felt very silly. "I thought you had chickenpox," he said, looking at the rails. "I'm sorry for all the confusion I caused. I was genuinely frightened I would get it."

"Engines can't get chickenpox," Fluttershy said, her face now understanding. "Not even chickens get it. It's an airborne disease that isn't usually that serious in children, but it can be in adults. I had it before I moved to Sodor, and I was alright again in a few days."

"Likewise!" Sir Toppham Hatt said. "Sadly, Lady Hatt had it as an adult, which was a bit unpleasant but thankfully not too serious. But disease is no joke, and as such you must always make sure your vaccinations are up to date."

After that day, Henry stopped worrying about chickenpox, and went back to being what he usually is. A really useful engine.

Even if a scare did briefly run that diesels could get measles. After all, Coughs and Sneezles spread Diseasles!

Author's Note

What with the current global situation, this episode has suddenly become very topical. Remember; stay six feet apart, wash your hands, and for God's sake be careful.

Thomas gets it Wrong

It was another busy morning on the Island of Sodor, and Thomas and Twilight arrived at Knapford station. As usual, Sir Toppham Hatt was waiting for them.

"Good morning you two!" he said. "I trust you had a good night's rest then?"

"We did sir, even if Murdoch was a bit grumpy!" Thomas joked.

"And Shining was playing his music a little too loud. For a BBBFF he can sometimes be a bit loud."

"BBBFF?" asked Sir Toppham Hatt.

"Big Brother Best Friend Forever?"

"Oh." Sir Toppham Hatt glanced down at his clipboard. "Right then, here's your manifest for the day. You two have a pick up goods to take to Maron, but along the way you have a special load to drop off. One of the vans is carrying valuable fashion material to be picked up by a Miss Pommel, and needs to be left in the siding at Wellsworth to be picked up. It is the van with the white stripe on the side. Right then, off you go!"

"No problem sir!" Thomas called, and he set off to the yard. The train was long and heavy, and consisted of tankers and several vans, as well as open flat cars and a few plank wagons scattered in, as well as a brake van. The engine and his driver steamed across the island, taking in the breathtaking sights. Although they had worked on Sodor for a while, and had been through some tough scrapes, the pair felt as though nothing could ever be boring on the island they called home.

As they approached the next station, a red signal up ahead told them they had to stop. With a gentle application of the brakes and control of the regulator, Twilight brought Thomas to a stop for his first drop off.

Moments later, Bear arrived with a passenger train. "Hello Thomas!" he called. "Going shunting? There's a good engine."

"Well, we tank engines are versatile!" Thomas replied, as he uncoupled from part of the train, shunted the vans back into the siding, and was then uncoupled. With that duty done, he ran forward and attached to the rest of the train, and waited for the signal to clear.

Shining stuck his head out of the cab. "How is it Twily? It's been a busy few days with the summer timetable. It's boiling in the cab here, and the engine noise makes it hard to have a conversation!"

"The next thing we know, the passengers will want air conditioning!" Twilight laughed. Just then, the signal dropped. "OK, it's time to go. See you! Maron, here we come!"

Bear looked in confusion. "Maron? That's two stations away. This is Crosby!"

As he pulled away, nobody realised that Thomas and Twilight had made a rather severe error. This wasn't Wellsworth at all, and as a result the van with the white stripe had been dropped off in the wrong place. Thomas and Twilight puffed on, oblivious to their error, and after dropping off some more trucks at Wellsworth, stopped and waited for the yard to clear so they could uncouple and run back.

"Why are you just sitting there?" asked Percy, as he pulled some empty mail trucks past.

"I'm waiting for the Maron signal box to clear me out so I can run back," Thomas replied.

"This is Wellsworth, silly!" Pinkie exclaimed. Maron's the next station up the line!"

As Percy moved off and Edward rolled in off his branch line, Thomas looked back. "We still have one more drop off to do!" he said. "And this means we've dropped everything off in the wrong place!"

"Such as the fashion material!" Twilight exclaimed, suddenly starting to hyperventilate. "This is terrible! What do we do? We'll get into big trouble for sure!"

"Quick!" Thomas said. "We have to go back and get that van and move it to the correct station. There's no time to waste!"

Thomas raced back along the line, regulator full open and wheels spinning at speeds never seen before. At those speeds, it didn't take him very long to return to Crosby. He slowed down and stopped at the station approaches, waiting for the shunt signal to clear and allow him over onto the down line. Once he was over, the signal at the other end of the yard cleared him into the yard. Luckily, the truck with the stripe was still there, so without a second's delay he backed onto it and pulled it away with him. Twilight looked forward and ahead to ensure that there were no odd hallucinations, no Black 5s running backwards wrong line, and no A0 pacifics with faulty whistles or missing domes. Thomas sped up the line as best he could, he puffed and panted as he did so, not hearing the station master call to him as he puffed out of sight.

Later on, Thomas arrived at Wellsworth, where Coco Pommel was waiting.

"Hello," she said gently. "I'm Coco Pommel. I've been asked by Rarity to pick up some supplies for her."

"These are them!" Thomas called. "Sorry for the delay, there was a mix up in the yard!"

"There is still a mix up," the station master grumbled. "These aren't suitable for transporting boxes. Move them to the cattle dock for unloading."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked. "It has a white stripe on it!"

"But open ventilator hateches. This is a cattle van."

The guard opened the door, only to reveal it packed full of coffee bean holders. "What? These haven't been packed properly!"

Meanwhile, at Vicarstown, Suri Polomare was waiting for a van to be opened. "Finally," she said. "The coffee beans I ordered." The porter opened the door, to reveal boxes marked "fabric."

Suri blinked. "Is this some sort of practical joke? Or is Rarity rubbing it in my face again?"

Moments later, Thomas barelled in and crashed into the wagons. They slammed into a paint tanker. The seals ruptured, and paint was sprayed everywhere.

"What a mess," said the foreman. "I'll need to phone Sir Toppham Hatt to get this lot cleaned up."

After Donald and Douglas had helped to clean the mess, Sir Toppham Hatt came to speak to Thomas and Twilight. "Now then, I want you to tell me what happened, from the beginning."

"Well," Twilight said sadly, "we dropped the van off in the wrong place, and then we tried to fix it and only made an even bigger mess! I know it wasn't rational, but I wasn't thinking straight I was panicking so much!"

Sir Toppham Hatt smiled. "We all make mistakes Twilight," he said, gently. "But why didn't you call the station when you realised your error? We could have cleaned this all up a lot faster!"

"I know, and I'm sorry," Thomas said sadly.

"Apology accepted. Now then, let's get this lot to the correct people."

And so, Suri got the coffee beans she needed to run her coffee shop (which, I must say, serves a seriously good latte), and Coco got the fabric that she was collecting for Rarity. And Thomas learned a very important lesson, I think. Whenever you are having problems, tell someone.

Author's Note

This story is loosely based on Thomas Makes a Mistake, a Season 23 episode. This is an effort to fix episodes I thought had good ideas, but were let down by silly mistakes or lazy writing.

Such as the fact that SIGNAL BOXES DECIDE WHERE ENGINES GO, NOT THE ENGINES THEMSELVES. Come on Sam Wilkinson, it's not hard!

The World's Strongest Engine

The engines of Sodor have always enjoyed feeling responsible, reliable, really useful, and virtually anything else beginning with the letter R. They always work hard to keep the trains running on time, and none of them like confusion or delay. None of them also like running backwards for no good reason, especially when the brake van is at the wrong end.

Unfortunately, the trucks don't agree. They delight in causing havoc, and accidents, and poor Henry found this out the hard way when a group of coal trucks derailed on the main line, throwing him off the rails and into the four foot. Sir Toppham Hatt came to see the engines about it, to console them about Henry's state.

"Henry," he said, "has had an accident. It's not too serious, but he'll be out of action for a few days, and as a result we have not enough engines."

"Sir, I can help!" Stepney piped up. "I don't mind the work!"

"As much as I appreciate the enthusiasm," Sir Toppham Hatt replied, "you are not powerful enough. I have made the decision to bring Diesel back to the island to help out for a few days at the docks."

"WHAT?" Apple Bloom explained. "That no good diesel and his brat of a driver are bound ta cause trouble!"

"I don't like it either, as I remember the galloping sausage incident all too well," Sir Toppham Hatt sighed. "But it's the only option we have. I tried to hire the Q1 from York but he's busy at the Bluebell, so Diesel it is."

The engines grumbled but otherwise did nothing to oppose him. But that didn't mean they couldn't privately dislike Diesel. And they had good reason to be concerned about him.

"I hope Henry's back in action soon," said Percy. "You know how hard he works; he could move more trucks than that Diesel ever could!"

"Trucks," Gordon said, "are nobody's friend, as well I know."

"Indeed you do," Edward smiled. "I had to help you up the hill, remember?"

"Only because they wouldn't come quietly, like coaches do!" Gordon spluttered.

Diesel arrived at Tidmouth the next day, and I'm sorry to say he was just as bad as his previous visit. "Oh, look at us, splendid and up to date!" he boasted, as he moved the trucks about.

Silver Spoon waved at the other drivers. "It's so nice to be back," she said, with faux niceness. "When Sir Toppham Hatt sees how efficient the diesels are, he'll replace all the steam engines."

Derek, who was nearby, disliked Diesel and his arrogant nature. "Why, I'll have you know that steam engines are perfectly fine machines. They do good work, and rarely complain. BoCo will tell you the same."

"Well, you're both traitors. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact you're the last members of your classes?"

The trucks also had an idea, as Diesel had been fun last time. They began to sing. "Is that all you can haul, Henry's loads are longer, is that all you can haul, Henry must be stronger!"

Diesel growled at them. "They were in considerably better voice last time," he grumbled. "If I can seem like I can pull more than Henry, which I probably can over short distances, they'll stop singing."

So Diesel put his plan into motion. He bustled about the yard, assembling as many trucks as he could, until they were all assembled in a long line. There were big trucks and small trucks, tankers and plank wagons, bogie bolsters and conflats loaded with containers. There must have been at least 20 trucks there, or possibly more!

Diesel coupled up to the end of the train, and readied for his attempt.

"What's going on?" Percy asked, as he shunted some more trucks.

Apple Bloom was watching from Duck's footplate, and turned around. "Want some popcorn?" she asked, offering Pinkie Pie some.

"Thank you! Why are you offering me popcorn?"

"Well, Diesel here thinks he can pull all those trucks. But he ain't knowin' that we put all the brake blocks on! Diesel don't have the tractive effort ta pull that lot. Ah reckon he'll give up after five minutes."

Silver Spoon looked behind her, to see a crowd had assembled to watch. "Behold, the wonders of modern diesel technology!" she said.

"Diesel is over 60 years old," said a bystander.

"Who are you calling old?" Diesel snapped, as Silver Spoon put his engine to full power. He was attempting to push the stock forward to the sidings, and his couplings had been left disconnected for this very reason. As he continued to push as hard as he could, the trucks wouldn't move. His wheels slipped furiously.

He stopped after a few moments, and Silver Spoon coupled him up. They would try to pull the trucks instead.

"Heave ho, heave ho, you can pull but we won't go!" the trucks laughed.

"SHUT UP!" Diesel snapped. His face was red and he looked just about ready to run something over. He was so angry he'd forgotten that behind him lay the end of the harbour line. On the other side was a sheer drop.

So he pulled, and he pulled, and he pulled. Apple Bloom suddenly jumped off Duck's footplate and sprinted across the dockside.

"Where are you going?" asked Duck.

"That couplin's gonna snap! Ah may dislike Silver Spoon, but Ah wouldn't want her ta drown!"

Apple Bloom clambered onto Diesel's cab access ladder just in time. As she did so, the coupling broke, and Diesel shot backwards. Apple Bloom pulled open the door.

"Silver! Ya have ta jump, or you'll end up in the drink!"

Silver Spoon ran over to the open door and jumped as Apple Bloom dived off the ladder. Diesel raced backwards, crashed through the buffers and fell into a drydock.

Silver Spoon looked at Apple Bloom in astonishment. "Even after all I did to you... you saved me?"

"Don't get me wron', what ya did is not cool, but Ah'm willin' ta give others a second chance. Wanna be friends?"

Silver tentatively took Apple Bloom's hand, and let her pull her up. Both of them walked over to the drydock where Diesel now lay.

"HELP! SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE! THERE'S SEAWEED!"

Sir Toppham Hatt was not pleased when he inspected the mess. "I thought that Diesel would behave himself after what happened last time, but clearly I was mistaken," he said. "However, Apple Bloom put in a good word for Silver Spoon, so I want you to work at the quarry. I will not extend this mercy a second time." He turned to Henry. "Henry, can you take the goods and make up the lost time?"

"Yes sir!" Henry replied.

"It'll also be a good opportunity to see if Henry's fully running properly," Fluttershy added.

Henry was as good as his word. He was coupled to the train, and effortlessly pulled away as if nothing was coupled to him. The other engines whistled and cheered as he set off on his way.

Diesel, on the other hand, is now at the Ffarquhar Quarry under the watchful eye of Mavis, and she and Diamond Tiara are already doing a wondrous job of improving his temprament. Silver Spoon also attended her first meeting of the Cumbrian Mountain Crusaders this past week, and save to say her snootiness is beginning to slip away.

Busy Going Backwards

It was gloomy, wet, miserable day on Sodor, and Toad the brakevan was feeling miserable. Everywhere he looked, engines, coaches and trucks were moving about their duties, hustling and bustling back and forth with their jobs and being really useful, whilst he simply sat on a siding and saw the world go past him. It left him very glum.

Later that day, Oliver arrived to pick him up, and as Scootaloo hopped out of the cab to couple Oliver up, Toad decided to voice his concerns. "Mr Oliver, Miss Scott-"

"Please, call me Scootaloo," Scootaloo replied. "I never liked my real name anyways."

Toad sighed. "Mr Oliver, Miss Scootaloo, I'm a little tired of going backwards all the time."

"You run in the right direction to me," Oliver said kindly. "Wherever would I be without you? We both escaped scrap together, didn't we?"

"Yes, but I have forward thinking views, if you know what I mean. I could be a leader, if you get what I mean!"

Gordon snorted from a neighbouring track. "You could never lead, as you don't have a train to follow you. As a matter of fact, you don't even have a means to propel yourself down the track!"

Toad looked sadder still. Oliver was sad too. "Toad, you are not only a good brake van, you are a good friend. You help me slow down on steep hills, and if anything approaches from behind, you can warn me as well."

"I know," Toad said, "but I'd still like to go forwards for a change instead of backwards, and see the world approaching rather than rushing away."

"I know, right?" Scootaloo commented. "Some of the seats in dad's car face backwards. It can make you feel quite sick."

However, the trucks had overheard the conversation, and one in particular seemed annoyed. "Who does that Toad think he is to complain? He's lucky that he can see anything at all!"

Another one glanced over. "How about we pay him out?"

"Perfect. Besides, I have something of an axe to grind with those two."

Both trucks laughed, but quietly, as Oliver marshalled his train. It was very long, but Oliver could pull it indeed. Scootaloo hooked him up, hopped into the cab, and sounded the whistle to remind the signalman they were there. The signal dropped, and they were on their way, steaming through the delightful Sudrian countryside.

"It's a good thing the clearances on this line are so big!" Oliver commented.

"What do you mean?" Scootaloo asked.

"Most Great Western engines have gauging problems on the main line. Pendennis Castle tells me that whenever he is pulling a railtour, he needs a new cab and chimney fitted so he can squeeze under the bridges!"

"Remember that time somebody suggested running a 2-6-6-6 here?" Scootaloo asked. "His forehead would have demolished Ballyhoo tunnel!"

As they continued on their way, they came to Gordon's Hill and began their ascent. The weight of the train soon began to take its toll on little Oliver, and he started slowing down as he climbed the hill. The lead truck smiled. Now was their chance!

"Now! Pull at the coupling!" he shouted.

Scootaloo suddenly recognised the voice. She stuck her head out of the cab and looked, and gasped at who it was. "SCRUFFEY?"

"The very same. Hope Toad enjoys getting smashed to bits!"

Seconds later, the coupling holding Scruffey onto the train broke, and the entire train, sans Oliver, shot backwards down the hill at incredibly high speed.

"We're making your wish come true, Toad!" shouted another truck. "Follow the leader!"

Toad was still in a state of shock. He had had no time to process what was going on, and he couldn't alert the guard as he had jumped clear! The trucks began laughing and jeering behind him.

"Faster, faster! AS FAST AS YOU WANT!"

Oliver stopped on the hill, and Scootaloo set him into full reverse, before reopening the regulator and going into hot pursuit.

Meanwhile, Toad was finding it all rather fun at first, but the fun was soon over. Ahead of him lay a level crossing, and the gates were shut! Toad shut his eyes and braced for derailment. He smashed clean through the gate, which was hurled high into the air and fell as fragments all over a field. Worst yet, the track was set wrong. Up ahead was Gordon!

"YEEEEEOOIIIIIKS!"

Luckily, the signalman changed the points just in time and crisis was averted.

"What just happened?" Gordon asked.

"A brake van nearly crashed into us!" Rainbow Dash replied. "I've seen weird things, but that takes the cake!"

Toad continued to thunder along, the weight of the trucks still propelling him down the track. Worse still, James was working down the line with a slow goods train.

"YEEEEEOOIIIIIKS! Help, save me!"

Rarity slammed James' brakes on just in time, and a fitter threw the relevant points as Toad flew onto the Up line.

"Good grief!" Rarity exclaimed. "Whatever is going on?"

"What was that?" asked James. "Was that Toad going the wrong way?"

Meanwhile, the fitter grabbed his phone. "There's a runaway train approaching!" he called to the next box. "Block back all signals to red. Repeat, there's a runaway train approaching. Block back all signals to red, over."

"Copy that. Derailment siding has been set, over."

Toad felt relieved when he swung off the track and onto a siding. "Those are buffers!" he exclaimed. "They'll stop me!" Problem is, the points to the derailment siding had jammed, and Toad swung back onto the main line. "OH NO, I'M BACK ON THE MAIN LINE!"

Nobody noticed the red trolley pushing Toad and the trucks along.

Meanwhile, Oliver sped along as fast as he could. "We must catch Toad, we must!" he said. "This is like that time I rescued you from Brendam."

"Oliver, I don't even live in Brendam."

"Then I must be thinking of the wrong story."

Scootaloo was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, never mind."

Up ahead, more trouble awaited them. Part of the line was now single line operation due to a damaged bridge being hit by a lorry. The track crew, however, were warned of the runaway, and set the train to crash into a nearby lake. Toad suddenly veered off into a muddy pond and stopped at last.

"I may be muddy, but I shtopped at lasht."

Oliver arrived a few seconds later, and was attached to the train to pull it out. He seemed amused by the situation, but Scootaloo sure wasn't. After attaching the chain, she opened the regular forcefully, and the coupling jerked, pulling the trucks back violently.

"Ow!" complained Scruffey. "Watch it!"

Scootaloo glared at him darkly. "You can mess with me, but you DON'T mess with my friends, Toad included."

Scruffey kept his mouth shut after that.

Oliver, keen to lighten the mood, cracked a joke. "A pond is the only place for a toad, I suppose."

Everybody groaned at the dreadful pun.

That night, Oliver and Toad spoke with one another as Scootaloo was oiling Oliver round, ready for bed.

"I'm sorry I caused you embarrassment," Toad said sadly. "And Scootaloo, apologies for getting your clothes mucky."

"I can find new clothes," Scootaloo replied, "but I can never find another Toad."

"And you didn't cause us any embarrassment," Oliver said kindly. "How was it?"

"Not an experience I'm keen on repeating, I'm afraid," Toad replied. "From now on, I'm looking forward to the future, Busy going Backwards."

"He said it! He said it!" called one of the trucks.

"Shush, you."

Author's Note

Can anybody spot the goofs referenced in the story?

Percy's Chocolate Crunch

The engines of Sodor love being really use-

No, I've already used that intro a lot. How about this one?

It was a splendid morning on the Island of So-

No, used that one as well. Ah, here we are!

It was Autumn on Sodor-

"I'D RATHER-!"

Let me finish typing the chapter? Autumn, please go back to Nottingham.

"This sucks."

Please?

"All right then."

Very good. Alright then, here we go!

It was a lovely Autumn day on the Island of Sodor, and the engines were feeling shiny and clean, shiny and clean. Engines enjoy being shiny and clean. Not only does it fill them with pride as their paint glows and their brasswork gleams as they puff along the island, the people of the island, and people who appreciate 'proper engines', like seeing engines that are properly kept and maintained. It maintains a very good public image, unlike the trains on the mainland that are frequently grubby and full of rubbish overflowing from the onboard bins.

This pleasant day, Percy and Pinkie had just arrived at the washdown. Percy had just come in with a messy load of coal for the coaling tower, a large, towering, concrete design which was only operational example left in Britain. As Percy joined the queue, Pinkie tasted some of the coal.

"Yum!" she exclaimed. "This coal is tasty!"

"Pinkie, that's disgusting," said Twilight, as she collected the hose with which to wash Thomas. "Do you know where that piece of coal has been?"

"Well, first it was a tree and then it got squished underground and became coal and somebody mined it out and here it is now!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Are you sure Pinkie isn't the Egghead?"

"Says the girl who reads Planes Illustrated," Pinkie retorted.

"What? I can be interested in stuff!"

Sir Toppham Hatt then arrived in his car. He had bad news for the engines.

"I," he said, "have some bad news. As you may or may not be aware, there has been a hosepipe ban introduced due to a water shortage. Therefore, we only have enough water to wash each engine once a day."

"Why not just paint all the engines black with no lining?" Twilight suggested. "That way, the dirt wouldn't show."

"ME? PAINTED BLACK?" Gordon spluttered. "Don't be ridiculous!"

Percy, however, was fuming. "We all need cleaning!" he said. "If we're not cleaned properly, soot and oil gets into our working parts and caused them to clog up! And we look awful too!"

"Tell me about it," said James. "Passenger engines must always be clean. Goods engines are meant to be dirty."

"What about Donald and Douglas?" asked Rarity.

"They're honorary passengers engines, so they get a pass."

Percy had other work to do, so he headed off for the docks. He pushed some trucks under the coaling chute to be loaded, but they were in no mood to cooperate.

"Pull hard!" shouted the lead one. The trucks pulled and dragged Percy under the coaling chute- just as it dumped coal on him.

"Brilliant!" he said. "Now I look a mess!"

"Now we know how Thomas felt," Pinkie said. "Never fear. I'll clean you up."

Unfortunately, they had no time to wait. Some coal was due further down the line, and Percy had to take them, by now very heavily weathered. As he puffed along, the trucks were giving him grief.

"Clickety clack, don't look back, dirty Percy's on our track!"

"That's hypocritical, coming from you," Percy retorted.

"Exactly! You trucks are covered in muck... unless you want some of Rarity's mascara!"

The trucks were silent almost immediately.

Percy arrived at Arlesburgh West and shunted the trucks into the siding. He was very hot and bothered.

"Hello!" Rex called. "Thanks for the coal. That'll keep us going for a while yet!"

"No problem!" Pinkie called.

"From now on, I'm only doing work that doesn't get me dirty!" Percy exclaimed.

"You're a steam engine," Pipsqueak pointed out. "That means you produce soot. You get dirty by virtue of running!"

"But unlike you humans, I can't take a bath!" Percy replied.

Harold then flew overhead. His rotor blades picked up a mountain of ash and cinders that had been produced from Sweetie Belle mucking Stepney out the previous day. And guess who got covered in ash and cinders?

Yes. Percy, who was now extremely heavily weathered. "If this doesn't merit a wash, I don't know what will!" he said.

"OOOOOOH!" said Pinkie, suddenly. "See those trucks over there?"

"Yes?"

"Those are full of sugar going to Mr Jolly's Chocolate Factory in Hackenbeck! Sugarcube Corner gets some of its supplies from there, so we'd be doing two individuals a favour. The Cakes, by getting them some chocolate, and you by not getting dirty!"

"Sugar is nice and clean," Percy smiled. "Where do I sign up?"

Mr Jolly's Chocolate Factory sits in an industrial estate, with a separate access line off of the Ffarquhar branch. This short line runs down a steep gradient owing to a very cheap surveying team, and engines must be careful to stop before descending into the factory proper, so that the driver can pin down the brakes.

Unfortunately, a tanker had spilled liquid onto the track earlier that day, and the factory staff were yet to clean up the mess. Percy was also unfamiliar with the layout of the factory, and as such approached it going too fast. Pinkie put the brakes on, but Percy's wheels locked on the track and he simply skidded along!

"Oh no!" he cried. "This is what it must have been like for Duck!"

"Gotta jump!" Pinkie cried, and bailed from the cab. Percy slid helplessly down the track and into the buffers that sat at the end of the siding. He went through them, crashed through the factory wall, and demolished practically every machine in the building, before crashing out the other side, looking very silly.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUCK!" he said. "I've never been this dirty!" And he hadn't. His face, smokebox, sandboxes, frames, and saddle were smeared in milk chocolate, which was already starting to melt further due to the heat from his boiler.

Duck came along to extricate Percy from the rubble, and Pinkie did her best to clean Percy, but there was a limit to what even she could do. Percy was towed back to Tidmouth sheds, and the other engines thought it rather amusing- except Duck.

"I empathise with you entirely!" he said. "Getting covered in stuff is no fun. I was covered in shaving foam when I crashed into the barber's shop. Thankfully, Apple Bloom helped in getting it off."

"It'd be a shame if all that chocolate went to waste," said Thomas. "How about our drivers scrape it off and bake a cake with it."

"What would we call it?" asked Toby.

"I know!" James said. "Pudding Percy!"

"Choc-Ice on wheels?" suggested Henry.

"Thank you, everyone!" said Sir Toppham Hatt. "Percy, despite your rather obvious predicament, you have shown us that usefulness does come before cleanliness. Therefore, you shall have your wash before the other engines. And Pinkie?"

"Yes sir?"

"As compensation for the incident, Mr Jolly has decided to give the Cakes a free supply of chocolate and sugar for the entire year. Make sure that chocolate doesn't get wasted!"

Percy and Pinkie could only beam with pride.

Author's Note

This episode really stood out to me as a kid, and looking back I think it was the enthusiasm of Michael Angelis' narration. In this and others he's really having a blast in the recording booth, which is a marked contrast to Seasons 8-16 where he simply sounds bored.

Thomas and the Jet Engine

Gordon is a very proud engine, and a very fast one too. As a matter of fact, he is the fastest steam engine on the Island of Sodor, a fact he is very proud of and informs others of at every conceivable opportunity. The frustrating thing is that it is all one hundred percent true. One sunny afternoon, Gordon arrived from Vicarstown with the Wild Nor' Wester, beaming as he rolled to a stop. As he stopped, the clock hand dropped down into position. "Right on time!" he said.

"And," Rainbow Dash added, "we set a new point to point record on Gordon's Hill! Beat that, anybody!"

"How about that A4 who visits periodically? You know, Marks?" Percy asked.

"Do you mean Spencer?" Rarity asked. "The silver one?"

"I think he does," James replied. "But I have to say, Gordon, speed isn't everything. As a matter of fact, go too fast and you come off the track, as I know the hard way."

"Indeed we do," Rarity sighed. "Indeed we do."

"However, if speed isn't everything, being really useful is," Thomas added.

"You're just jealous," Rainbow Dash said.

"You small engines will never understand," snorted Gordon. "Because you will never go as fast as me."

Before anybody had a chance to correct Gordon on his bad grammar, Sir Toppham Hatt arrived with news of a task. "Ah, Thomas, there you are!" he said. "Douglas has broken down with leaking tubes, so I need you to make a delivery in his place. A jet engine has arrived for a customer at the airfield, and it needs picking up from Tidmouth docks and taking there."

"Right away, sir!" Twilight replied. "I don't think we've ever moved a jet engine before."

"What's this jet engine?" Percy asked.

"A jet engine," Twilight explained, "works by sucking in air through a turbine. This air is then mixed with aviation fuel, and this air fuel mixture is then ignited in a combustion chamber. The resulting ignition then complies with Newton's Third Law; 'for every action their is an equal and opposite reaction'. This causes the object to move forward as the ignition's energy is focused backwards."

"Rather like when you blow up a balloon and let it go!" Thomas explained, as he set off for Tidmouth. Thomas enjoyed running errands for Sir Toppham Hatt, as it made him feel important. However, he wished that he could, one day, go as fast as Gordon, maybe just once."

When he got to the docks, the jet engine was already being unloaded. It had already been attached to a flatbed ready to be moved. It was painted silver, and had a red fuel drum attached to the back of the engine unit, alongside a big wooden box (nobody was quite sure what the wooden box did). It was shiny, and shiny, and modern, and Thomas had never seen anything like it before. He couldn't wait to start his journey. But he couldn't start just yet. Twilight was still doing her inspection, to ensure all the cables were correctly secured, and Cranky was slow to remove the guide cables.

Thomas grew impatient. "Hurry up!" he said. "This is a special special special special special special special special-"

ALERT: SHARONMILLER.EXE HAS INFILTRATED STORY. CORRECTING.

PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT WHILST WE FIX THE STORY. WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

Thomas grew impatient. "Hurry up!" he said. "This is a very important train, you know!"

Cranky did not like being told what to do, especially by an engine. He hadn't forgotten Percy pulling him over either, and he became so grumpy he became careless with his hook. His hook caught a switch attached to a box on top of the fuel barrel, which started the jet engine. And the jet engine began to whine. The whine grew louder, and louder, and louder, and louder, AND LOUDER.

"Thomas! Look out! The jet engine's star-!"

Suddenly, flames roared out of the back of the jet engine, propelling Thomas and Twilight up the track.

"-ting!"

Thomas had never travelled this fast before! He whizzed along at speeds far higher than he was meant to travel at.

Twilight, trying to stay as calm as she could in the circumstances (working under pressure had never been her strong suit), slammed on Thomas' brakes, but the steam brakes and metal brake blocks were virtually useless against the power of a jet engine. He roared through Knapford doing well over 70 miles an hour.

"OH BOY!"

Twilight grabbed the cab radio. "HELP!" she shouted.

The signalman at Knapford grabbed his telephone. "Block off the entire line immediately! There's a runaway train approaching!"

Signals were changed, points were switched, and trains were haulted in their current positions to avoid crashes. Thomas, meanwhile, had never been so excited before. He flew by James at Maron, and rocketed past Henry on Gordon's Hill. He narrowly avoided crashing into Percy whilst descending the other side.

"HOW HAS HE NOT DERAILED ALREADY?" shouted Percy.

"Plot convenience?" Pinkie suggested.

To say the least, everybody was amazed. Bertie had pulled up at a crossing, and Spike glanced up when he heard Thomas approaching. "Good afternoon, Twilight!"

"Fancy a race Thomas?"

Thomas flew past without responding.

"Never mind."

Nobody had ever seen a train go so fast.

Gordon had not been alerted to the situation, and so continued to speed along the track towards Vicarstown. "We are the fastest!" he exclaimed.

"You can say that again!" Rainbow Dash replied.

"We are the fast-"

"Not literally!"

Suddenly, a loud engine roar started up behind them, and Thomas flew past, shouting something. But the jet engine was so loud, Gordon was confused. "PARDON?" he asked. "I HOPE THAT WASN'T IMPORTANT INFORMATION, AS I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD!"

"Was that... Thomas?" Rainbow Dash asked, confused.

After a few more minutes, the jet engine ran out of fuel, and Thomas was back under his own power. Exhausted, but very much relieved that he hadn't derailed, he steamed into Vicarstown and came to a smooth stop, Gordon rolling in a few minutes later.

"Good heavens!" Rarity exclaimed. "Whatever happened, Thomas?"

"We were propelled along by a jet engine," Twilight replied.

Thomas sighed. "Sorry for overtaking you, Gordon."

"Overtake me?" Gordon said. "You'd have needed something very fast to do that, like a jet engine!"

Rainbow Dash facepalmed. "He's literally coupled to a jet engine, Gordon!"

"Well," Henry said. "I think Thomas is now the fastest steam engine in the world. What did the speedometer say?"

"The speedometer only goes up to fifty," Twilight replied. "But we probably went a lot faster than that."

"And we had a jet engine to help," said Thomas. "I wonder how fast I'd go if a T1 was coupled behind me?"

Percy, who felt sad for Gordon, chimed in. "Gordon doesn't need a jet engine to go fast, as he's a steam engine. Besides, do we really need to go so fast?"

"Gordon may be a steam engine, but he's certainly full of hot air!" James snorted.

Gordon, being in good spirits, simply laughed as he pulled away.

Author's Note

This story is another fan favourite, probably because firstly, it is extremely unrealistic, and secondly, Michael Angelis' incredibly enthusiastic narration lends the whole thing a giddiness you just don't get in the US version. It's a real pity no other narrator (Ringo and George Carlin excluded) never really lived up to his enthusiasm...

The VIP

The day begins early on the railway. Stations to clean, tickets to sell, ashpits to clean out, all the necessary and proper jobs required in running a railway. The sun had just opened his tired eye upon the world as Twilight and her friends beavered about at Tidmouth sheds, getting the engines ready for the day.

"Ugh, it's so early!" Rainbow Dash complained, as she lit Gordon's fire. "Good thing I'm not needed until later."

"Ah'm always up at 5 in the mornin' without fail," Applejack explained.

"Good heavens, that's a bit early, isn't it?" Edward asked. "My first train to Brendam isn't until 10 or so."

"It's just how mah body clock works, that's all."

"I could scarcely imagine getting up at that time," Rarity sighed. "But being really useful does rather take its toll on you. I've asked Miss Pommel to take care of the shop for me. Sweetie Belle's already down at Arlesburgh, waking Stepney up."

"And I'm always splendid!" James proclaimed. "So that's that! The passengers will be pleased to see a shiny red engine on the front of their trains."

"You did stock up on bootlaces and newspaper, right?" Rainbow Dash asked. The entire shed erupted into laughter as Rarity and James tried to hide from view.

Suddenly, a car pulled up outside Tidmouth Sheds, and Sir Toppham Hatt stepped onto a pile of massive LEGO bricks. He then began to address the engines. "Good morning everyone!" he called. "Now then, I want all of you to be on your very best behaviour. Network Rail is giving us a formal inspection, and they are not only seeing how we perform, they are also examining the quality of our facilities and the state of the track. So go easy on the rails. They are sending two VIPs."

"What's a VIP?" asked Percy.

"A VIP is a Very Important Person," Gordon explained. "I presume these two VIPs are employees of the Department of Transport."

"Two of their track inspection officers, nontheless," Sir Toppham Hatt said.

"I suppose you want me to collect them," Gordon offered.

"There's no need. They're coming on their own train, the Flying Banana."

"WHAT?" Gordon exclaimed.

"How is a banana flying?" Pinkie asked. "That's almost as ridiculous as there being a portal in a magical high school that connects to a pony world where we all have doubles of ourselves!"

Henry looked over in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"That does sound like the plot of a film," Fluttershy admitted.

Meanwhile, a High Speed Train set departed from Vicarstown. It was five coaches long, and had two power cars at either end, both smiling as they rolled along. It was also painted completely yellow, and had the Network Rail logo on the side, along with the text Improving your Railway.

This is the New Measurement Train, or the Flying Banana due to its yellow colour scheme. Inside, workers and track crew were reading data off of computer screens and monitors. Overseeing it all was a woman in her fourties with very light pink skin and hair in blue, turquoise, pink, and green strands. She had purple eyes, and wore purple suit trousers, a pair of golden heels, a white shirt with a purple stripe along the centre, and a golden jacket with an emblem of the sun on it. This was Miss Celestia, the head of the New Measurement Team.

"Good work, everyone!" she said. "The track is in superb condition so far." She then walked forward to the lead power car and opened the access door, donning ear defenders to protect her ears from the deafening sound of the MTU engine. She reached the door, opened it, and stepped into the cab, where another woman was sat at the controls.

This woman wore a purple formal shirt with a white collar, into which was set an image of a crescent moon. She also wore a dark blue belt with a silver buckle, dark blue pants, a pair of white heels with pink trim, and she also had light blue skin, hair in two contrasting shades of blue, one darker than the other, and light blue eyes. This was Miss Luna, the driver of the Flying Banana, and Celestia's younger sister.

"How's it going?" Celestia called.

"We should be in Knapford relatively soon," Luna replied. "This island isn't that large. We'll have covered all of it by tomorrow, I think."

"Remember, doing the job accurately is more important than doing it fast."

"Of course." The line was clear ahead as the Flying Banana flew past Edward coming off a connecting line. Unfortunately, the signalman at Wellsworth was inexperienced, and had not been told of the Flying Banana's prescence. Thinking the next train would be Edward bound for Brendam, he had set the points appropriately, and was rather confused when a long yellow thing approached.

The AWS beeped in the cab as Luna cancelled the request. "What's going on? Why are we being routed off the main line?"

The Flying Banana slowed to take the branch, and rolled onto it. Celestia facepalmed. "And the railway was looking so good too. Amateurs."

After a long, protracted journey, the Flying Banana came to a stop in the China Clay Pits. Celestia got out to try and figure out where they were.

"Good afternoon!" said Derek. "I've never seen your train here before. Is it new?"

"We were meant to be going to Knapford, but got sent onto the wrong line," Celestia replied, already looking a bit annoyed. "Oh well. We might as well monitor the track whilst we're here."

The Flying Banana finally got to Knapford four hours late. Sir Toppham Hatt was there to greet them. "Good afternoon!" he said. "Welcome to Knapford, I hope you had a pleasant journey."

Celestia nodded. "Sort of. The track is in good condition from what we've done so far, but your signalman could do with some training on where trains are meant to be routed? The NMT got routed onto a freight working which I think was meant for another engine."

"Oh," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "Well, I am sorry. Are you planning on staying?"

"We need to inspect everything to ensure it is up to scratch," Luna replied. "Starting with the tea shop. My sister and I could do with a cup of tea after all that, and the Flying Banana lacks a catering coach."

"We'd happily pull another coach!" said one of the power cars.

So, the two sisters went about inspecting everything. The stations, the tea shops (cake sales were through the roof), and all the operational aspects. Every point, every signal box, every signal, all was inspected. Even operations were monitored, but this had disastrous consequences. The engines were under such pressure to perform well that they began to make mistakes. It all started when James undershot the platform at Wellsworth station and had to pull forward in order to get all the coaches in.

"What happened there?" James asked.

"Clearly the brake handle was applied too harshly and too early," Rarity replied. "I daresay this won't look too good on the record."

"Yeah, try stopping in the platform next time," Rainbow Dash suggested from Gordon's footplate.

"Says the engine whose coaches aren't even in the platform," James replied.

Meanwhile, on the Arlesburgh Branch, a jammed switch resulted in a faulty signal report. A notice had been put out to treat the signal as red, but Apple Bloom hadn't noticed this and went through it anyway, desparate to make up lost time. Duck thundered along, until he saw Oliver approaching! Apple Bloom slammed on his brakes, and brought him to a stop seconds before a crash occurred.

"Watch where you're going!" Scootaloo shouted. "You nearly caused an accident!"

"The points were set fer us!" Apple Bloom replied. "Not fer you."

"I had a green signal."

"No ya didn't, we did."

"Did."

"Didn't."

"DID!"

"DIDN'T!"

"Why did you even come onto the line? There's a warning notice about that signal being faulty!" Oliver said.

"There are two ways of doing things, Oliver, the-"

"I'm Great Western too, in case you've forgotten. And going through faulty signals without stopping is most certainly the wrong way!"

"Is it now? You had the-"

"Just stop fighting!" Stepney said, as he moved out of the yard. "Duck, back up to the signal and let Oliver on his way. Then you can come onto the track."

"Besides," Sweetie Belle said, "we're gonna be in a lot of trouble when word of this gets out."

All across the island, things were going wrong. Thomas was being refilled at the coaling plant, but stopped short of the loading point, resulting in Twilight being covered in coal. "Hey!" she shouted. "The coal is meant to go in the bunker, then the firebox, not straight from the chute into the firebox!"

"Oops."

That evening, Miss Celestia was not impressed. "Sir Toppham Hatt, your railway is a complete and utter shambles. Inadequate provision for interlocking, trains constantly stopping in the wrong places-"

"Not to mention the SPAD violation we had on the Arlesburgh line," Luna added, "which almost resulted in a head on collision."

"I am seriously considering advising the government to strip the North Western Railway of the franchise," Celestia finished.

The engines gasped in horror. "You can't do that!" Thomas exclaimed.

"What'd happen to Sir Toppham Hatt?" Rarity exclaimed. "Why, he'd be out of a job and homeless!"

"Miss Celestia, please reconsider!" Duck asked. "Don't punish Sir Toppham Hatt for our mistakes! We were so stressed and trying to do our best that we couldn't concentrate properly!"

"And that near miss were mah fault," Apple Bloom said quietly.

Celestia's face softened. "I understand. However, I feel my inspection wasn't quite complete. There were still two tearooms to do, weren't there, Luna?"

"Yes, there were!" Luna replied. "To which end, we shall stay another day, and see the railway as it is meant to be run."

The next day, the engines and their drivers worked very hard to keep the railway running properly, as a proper railway should. That evening, Miss Celestia gave the North Western Railway a clean bill of health, and everybody agreed that the engines of Sodor were really useful engines.

Author's Note

This story is loosely based on Spencer's VIP, an episode of the 18th season. However, I have made some adjustments to bring the story in line with plausibility, as most of the nonsense that occurs in the episode would be avoided if the railway had Automatic Warning System correctly installed...

The Old Bridge

It's been a while since we were last on the Skarloey Railway, so we return there today. Skarloey, Rheneas, Ocellus, and Yona all know how lucky they are to work on one of the most beautiful narrow gauge railways in the world. The line climbs through beautiful forests and over pleasant rivers, into the hills and far away. The railway line that runs up to Blue Mountain Quarry is notable for having a large, wooden trestle bridge. This bridge, unfortunately, was in need of structural repairs, as some of the beams were starting to rot and give way. One morning, Skarloey was travelling over the bridge as he had a shipment of slate wagons to take to the quarry to be refilled, then Duncan was to take them back later that afternoon.

As he rolled onto the bridge, it began to creak ominously, like it had been damaged in a high wind. "I don't like this!" Skarloey said. "The bridge is too wobbly for my taste!"

"I'm getting nervous too," Ocellus replied. "The sooner we get over it, the bet-"

She never had a chance to finish her sentence. There was a loud crack as one of the beams gave way, and the top deck of the bridge abruptly collapsed. Skarloey plunged down into the lower beams of the bridge and came to a stop as his chimney was wedged in by the remaining bridge deck.

"Oh dear," he said. "I don't want to go for a swim!"

Ocellus held on for dear life. "SOMEBODY HELP US!"

Rusty came along later that day to recover the trucks, and then returned with a crane to pull Skarloey back onto the track. Skarloey seemed to be mostly OK, but Ocellus was white as a sheet, not entirely surprising given her near death experience. Sandbar, being the gentleman he is, stayed with her for the rest of the day to ensure she was OK, and before long she was back to work. Mr Percival came to visit them one morning to tell them some good news.

"The bridge has been repaired," he said, "but the workmen's trucks have been left nearby and need to be recovered. Skarloey, you wouldn't mind going and recovering them?"

"Yes sir," Skarloey replied. However, he didn't particularly fancy going on the bridge again, and neither did Ocellus. When he arrived at the old bridge, he saw the trucks at the other side, however none of them were on the track. The bridge was high up, and wobbled as Skarloey moved forward. The bridge wasn't the only thing wobbling. Ocellus was shaking in fright as the engine slowly moved forward. But midway along, he saw the water and stopped, remembering what had happened the last time he had tried to cross it.

"I don't think I want to go any further!" he said.

"N- n- neither d- do I!" Ocellus barely squeaked out, and wound his reverser back all the way. The pair then reversed up the line and stopped in a nearby siding.

Rusty then came by. "Don't you worry, you two," he said. "I'll go and collect them now and take them to the yard."

"I just hope the others can keep their mouths shut," said Sandbar sadly. "Knowing Gallus, he'll probably make fun of you for this. But he's a hypocrite anyways; he has claustrophobia."

Rheneas was annoyed. He puffed along grumpily, pulling Skarloey's assigned train to Blue Mountain in addition to his own. "I don't understand what's gotten into those two," he grumbled to Yona. "I wouldn't think twice about crossing a bridge, even if it were in less than brilliant shape. Whatever would the passengers think."

"Yona think Skarloey and Ocellus are scaredycats!" Yona said. "Yona afraid of nothing, like all Scandinavians!"

Back at the yard, Mister Percival came to see Skarloey.

"Both of you," he said, "have clearly not fully recovered from the incident on the old bridge. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent you back there so soon."

Ocellus wiped her eyes. "I can't help being acrophobic," she whispered.

"I'm not blaming you for something you can't control," Mr Percival replied. "I think a nice passenger run to the lake and back will help soothe your nerves. The carriages are waiting at Crovan's Gate station for you."

Whilst Skarloey and Ocellus were reassigned to the passenger duties, Rheneas moved the load assigned to Skarloey as well as his own, receiving diesel assistance from Rusty. As the gargantuan train rolled onto the old bridge, Rheneas suddenly broke down. His water tanks were empty, as he had not refilled before setting off on his way. Yona waved her hand to signal Rusty to stop.

"What's going on, Yona?" asked Sandbar.

"Rheneas tanks empty! Yona going to throw out fire!"

"Not on a wooden bridge you're not!" Rheneas said. "It'd catch fire from the cinders. Just dampen my fire down and let it cool slowly."

Yona began to slowly cool the fire, when suddenly a spider appeared in front of her. "YAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"What's going on?" Rusty asked.

"YONA NOT LIKE SPIDERS!"

Skarloey had just arrived at Lakeside station, when the station master came out to see him. "Rusty just came by. Rheneas has broken down on the bridge. The wagons have already been recovered, but we need another engine to collect Rheneas whilst Rusty shunts his trucks."

"We HAVE to help him!" Ocellus said.

"But the Bridge-"

"Rheneas doesn't deserve to end up in the drink. Looks like we'll both be facing our fears today."

So, bravely, both of them set off for the bridge, taking the T junction that took them to the bridge. Skarloey stopped just short. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. "I can go over on my own and collect Rheneas."

"Who would couple you up?" Ocellus asked. "We need to do this together." With a look of grim determination, she opened the regulator and Skarloey crept onto the bridge. The structure wobbled and creaked. The river seemed deeper than ever.

Skarloey was frightened. But then, he remembered something Duke had said. "Look at the track, never mind the view." Focusing purely on the track, he rolled forward.

"That's it!" Rheneas called. "Keep looking at me! Look at the track, never mind the view!"

Ocellus was driving from instinct. Her eyes were jammed shut from the fear, and the bridge continued to shudder and shake. But at long last, the two engines made contact, and Ocellus got out of the cab and hooked Skarloey up to Rheneas.

Yona looked up. "Spider not nice thing to Yona!"

"Turns out she's arachnophobic," said Rheneas.

Ocellus went over to see the spider. "He can't hurt you. He's not venomous."

"How Ocellus know that?"

"My uncle Pharynx is an entomologist. It kinda rubbed off on me." Returning to Skarloey's cab, they began to pull Rheneas off the bridge.

Later that day, Rheneas felt sorry. "Thanks for rescuing me, Skarloey," he said. "I was wrong to think of you as a coward. I guess we all overcame our fears today."

"I suppose so," said Skarloey. "I'm no longer worried by that bridge, and Ocellus here is thinking of taking up ziplining as a sport!"

"Though not too high at first," Ocellus replied.

Author's Note

Sir Toppham Hatt's attitude in this episode really bothered me, as he's punishing Skarloey for something he can't control. Hence why I changed it here (that, and MLPThomasFan thought in several previous stories that authority figures were portrayed negatively).

Bulgy Rides Again

The Island of Sodor is a marvellous place to visit in the summertime. It is sunny, and bright, and airy. Best bit of all, you can get across most of the island by train and other forms of public transport, and the engines are all too happy to showcase the best bits of the island to the people who visit, whether it's the steep rocky crags of Culdee Fell, the lakes and waterfalls of the Skarloey Railway, or the seaside of the Little Western. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a problem.

One morning, both Duck and Oliver were failed with leaking tubes. "Ah'm sorry, Sir Toppham Hatt," Apple Bloom said sadly, "but Ah can't fix this here. They need ta go ta Crovan's Gate ta be fixed."

"And the workload is too much for Stepney and Sweetie Belle to handle on their own," Scootaloo added. "It sucks."

"I can try!" Stepney said. "I can-"

"I appreciate the sentiment," said Sir Toppham Hatt, "but one engine cannot do the work of three. It's simply not possible. However, I do need a way to cover the passenger service whilst Oliver and Duck are away."

"When I lived in East Grinstead, Southern was constantly cancelling the trains and replacing them with buses," Sweetie Belle suggested. "Why not run a rail replacement bus service whilst Oliver and Duck are out of action?"

"Good idea!" said Sir Toppham Hatt. "And I think I know just the bus for the job."

As Oliver and Duck were being towed to Crovan's Gate, Sir Toppham Hatt drove into the countryside, before stopping near a bridge that had been rebuilt with new plaster after a bus had tried to squeeze under it. The bus in question lay in a nearby field. Bulgy looked at him grumpily.

"What do you want?" he asked. "Here to gloat?"

"No, actually," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "We have a problem with one of our engines and will need a rail replacement bus for a few weeks. If you can do this job, I shall see to it that you are preserved and sent to a living museum. How does that sound?"

Bulgy's eyes lit up like Christmas Tree lights. "Yes sir! I won't let you down sir!"

That afternoon, Bulgy was towed to a workshop to be mended, and a few days later was looking good as new, with new paintwork, new upholstery, a fully repaired engine, a new suspension, and several new features like synchromesh gears. But one thing didn't change. Sir Toppham Hatt had asked his old driver, Gilda, if she would drive him again. Gilda had been out of work for a while, and so agreed to it, as the pay was good and it gave her something to do. So, off she and Bulgy went to the yard.

"Hello Bulgy!" called Thomas. "How does it feel to be back in service?"

"It feels excellent," Bulgy replied. "I'm basically a new bus!"

"I'll need to learn the new timetable though," Gilda grumbled. "At least I'm back at the wheel again, so that counts for something."

"You know," Twilight smiled, "Farmer Colwick is currently trying to deliver his produce around the island. I think you may be helping him!"

"A bus? Deliver vegetables?" Bulgy snorted. "What is this, Greendale? I'm a passenger bus. That means I carry passengers, not fruit and vegetables!"

Bulgy rolled along the road, his engine humming and his suspension in better shape than it had been for many years. His paintwork gleamed, and many people turned out to see the sight of an old Routemaster in London Transport livery once again (or the first time on the Island, at least). Bulgy was very happy to be rolling about the roads once more. It beat being a chicken coop, that's for sure.

"Why are you parking me in the old field?" asked Bulgy, very confused indeed as Gilda switched his engine off.

"It's the closest parking spot I could find to our first stop at Haultraugh," Gilda replied. "Have you seen the state of Tidmouth bus depot? It's being rebuilt to it can take more buses, but it won't be ready for a bit. See you in the morning."

That night, Bulgy slept peacefully, despite the late running freight trains running constantly back and forth from Arlesburgh and back, but little did he know that the hens missed their old home. One by one, they hopped aboard, flew up to the luggage racks, and fell asleep in them, dozing off gently in the cool interior of the bus.

Somehow, neither Gilda nor the bus conductor noticed the extra passengers when they set off the next morning. They made their first stop at Haultraugh and picked up the passengers who would normally catch the morning train. Then they drove away into the countryside, the hens sleeping peacefully as they rolled along the winding country lanes.

Then came trouble. Trevor and Grand Pear were going very slowly indeed, as they were towing a hay cart from a local farm to Tidmouth. Bulgy formed up behind them. "Hurry up!" he called. "Priority traffic!"

"I can't go any faster," Trevor replied.

"Try bein' patient and livin' life at a slower pace," Grand Pear replied.

Gilda rolled her eyes. "We're overtaking." She moved the indicator switch up to activate the right hand light, and moved out into the other lane. There was an oncoming post van, who slammed his brakes on to let Bulgy through.

The violent swerving awoke the chickens, who began squawking loudly. The passengers panicked, and a chicken flew at Gilda, causing her to lose control and crash Bulgy into a fence. The radio was switched on, but the resulting noise sounded like somebody had taken all the sounds an old radio was capable of making and blended them together into a 'song'.

"This bus is awful!" shouted a passenger. "Buses should be buses, and not livestock lorries! I shall tell Sir Toppham Hatt about this!"

"Not our fault," Gilda sulked.

Bulgy pulled into Tidmouth bus station, having been cleaned in the meantime, and he was annoyed. "First those stupid hens decide to sleep on my luggage racks, and now the passengers grumble. You can't have it all."

Moments later, Duck and Oliver sped past, having been fully repaired and repainted, and now ready to resume passenger service.

Bertie then stopped in the depot. "You know," he said to Bulgy, "why not try being a vegetable bus? You have gentle rounds, and fruit and vegetables don't complain (unless they are from the Annoying Orange, but we don't mention him here)."

"It beats having people who moan all the time," Gilda nodded.

"A vegetable bus?" Bulgy thought. "Count me in."

And so, Bulgy was repainted green, in the old County livery, and now has a serving hatch from which fruit and vegetables are sold. Sir Toppham Hatt approves of the only vegetable stand on wheels, as it helps local farmers sell their products, and it's one in the eye for the big supermarkets. Bulgy likes fruit and veg. They don't lay eggs, and they never complain.

Author's Note

The bit about the radio is a reference to the track below, which was the title screen of notorious indie game Crazy Bus. The gameplay is laughable, but the music is unforgettable...for all the wrong reasons.

If you've had quite enough of your eardrums bleeding, here's how it was (probably) meant to sound, were the composer not tone-deaf.

Lady and the Magic Lamp

The sun rose over Nottingham once more, and it was time for the steam railway to resume operations. Inside the main shed, Peter, the line's resident 8F, yawned as his fire was lit. "Isn't it early?" he asked, looking around as the aroma of anthracite filled the air.

"I don't think so," said Lady, glancing over at him. Ever since the reopening of the Magic Railway (including to passenger traffic), Lady had been on the line's regular roster, even though her small size made her unsuited to most passenger traffic and normally limited her to brake van rides. "5 is a most generous time, given the first train isn't until 10."

"True," Peter replied. "Are they any closer to reunification yet? There's this giant gap in my memory between the 1990s and this year."

"I don't think so," Sombra said, walking into the workshop with a smile on his face, something he would rarely have worn only a few weeks ago. "Come on Lady, we've got a special job to do. We've been asked to take a special lamp to Sodor by express mail."

"One of the benefits of living on a railway connected to a magic railway line that connects to an island with talking trains," Sunset added, as she joined her father on the footplate.

"Quite," Sombra laughed, as he checked Lady's gauges and controls. Owing to rules regarding operating engines on the main line, Sombra had given Lady a slight refit since we last saw her. As part of this process, he had fitted her with a speedometer (both needle and electronic varients), AWS (Automatic Warning System) and TPWS (Train Protection and Warning System), modern water gauges, and air and vacuum brakes, just to be absolutely safe. You don't want the Office of Rail and Road breathing down your neck, after all. Once all checks were complete, Sombra sounded the whistle, a glorious Peppercorn sound as the whistle came from a K1. Sunset opened the shed doors, and they were away. She climbed aboard as Lady rolled out of the shed and through the yard. Those few who had assembled on the platform at this early hour waved and cheered as she rolled by.

"Three cheers for Lady!" called the signalman.

"Sombra, the lights are green for you." On Time's voice was always a welcome sound.

"Green for Glory," Sombra replied, as Lady went onwards, blowing steam beautifully. She exited the yard, rolled around the bend that led to Fifty Steps crossing, and per the usual convention began to speed up towards the buffers, rather than slowing down as you'd expect. Moments later, she made contact with the buffers, and vanished in a cloud of rainbow light.

The Magic Railway never ceased to take your breath away, a glorious kaleidoscope of colours and wonder complemented by trees and sidings set alongside the tracks. Lady puffed onwards, the lamp sat on her footplate as she proceeded onwards.

"Activating front lamps," Sunset said, and the lamps engaged. They shone, proud and bright, as Lady made her way along the line, denoting Lady to be an express working, as she should be.

Then disaster struck. One moment the lights were gleaming bright, the next they abruptly failed. There was a bang as the electrics failed, and the lights switched off, and Lady came to an abrupt halt in the dark.

"This could be a problem," Sombra said, putting his hand to his chin.

"I can't go onwards without my lights," Lady told them. "It's not safe. A train can't proceed if it can't see where it is going. And it's been a long time since I travelled these rails regularly."

"Great," Sunset sighed. "We're stuck in the middle of a magic railway line from Nottingham to Sodor with no way of seeing where we're going. We need a light to see, which means that we need..."

Sombra noticed his daughter trailing off. "Yes?" he asked.

"Unless we use this!" she said, picking up the lamp that had been left for them to transport. "It looks to be an old oil lamp, which looks to be a bit dusty, but if I can pop the cap open, I can..."

The cap came open, and a voice suddenly began to speak. "Greetings, lost travellers. I am the spirit of the lamp, but you may call me Proteus. How may I help?"

"We need to see how to get to the other side of the Magic Railway," said Lady. "Can the lamp light the way to the other side?"

"Place it upon her top lamp iron, and it shall be so," replied the voice. Sunset climbed down from the footplate, walked to the front of Lady, climbed up the front ladder onto the running board, and pushed the lamp down onto the bracket. In that moment, glorious, beautiful, golden light shot forth from the lamp, illuminating the Magic Railway ahead. It wasn't far to the other end, and Lady whistled as she moved off once more, steam pouring from her chimney and wreathing her like a dragon. She gathered speed, puffing forward ever faster and with greater conviction, until she reached the buffers at the other end.

Another bright flash of light, and Lady was through. She puffed through the yard at Arlesburgh West, attracting the attention of the crews of the Arlesdale Railway, and she came to a stop at the station, where the station master was waiting.

"Ah, there you are!" he said. "I was getting worried." He smiled as Sunset handed him the lamp. "It seems it still has some of Proteus' power left in it. This will do very nicely."

"And," said the voice of Sir Toppham Hatt, "I would like to ask for some help. Diesel has developed a serious mechanical fault that needs to be fixed. Sombra, you and Lady wouldn't mind working in the China Clay Pits for a bit?"

"I can't stay," Sombra replied, "but Sunset can. And Lady's lights need fixing too."

"Consider it a deal," Sir Toppham Hatt smiled. "I've heard a lot about how you helped to save the railway, Sunset. I look forward to seeing what you and Lady can do."

Little did anybody realise, they were in for a crazy few days.

Author's Note

This is my first original story written for this series, and the first to add the 'real world', as opposed to being set on Sodor. What do you guys think?

Drip Tank

Percy the Small Engine headed back from Knapford Harbour one wet, miserable evening. The evening wasn't the only thing that was miserable.

"Aww, c'mon Percy, what's the problem?" Pinkie Pie asked her engine.

"Thomas and I have fallen out again," Percy replied sadly. "He wouldn't stop talking about me looking like a green caterpillar with red stripes, especially when all that treacle and hay had got stuck to my boiler. I told him to stop, and it devolved into a shouting match from there. But I'm tired of all that. I just want to put it behind me and be friends with him again."

"Friends do fight," Pinkie observed, "especially best friends. But it's not the falling that defines a person or engine; it's how you get back up afterwards."

Suddenly, Percy saw an overhanging branch that hadn't been cleared from the lineside properly. "Help!" he called. "Get that branch out of the way!"

Pinkie began waving a machete around to cut it, but she couldn't get at it in time. The branch smacked into Percy's face and broke apart, falling on the floor as it did so.

"Ouch! I don't like stuff hitting me!"

"Don't you worry Percy, at least it's not chocolate this time."

Percy's face was still sore when he got back to Knapford, but he was more startled than hurt. Even so, there was little sympathy from Thomas.

"You should have kept a better lookout," he said, unsympathetically. "I've no patience for engines unable to do their jobs properly. After all, a wrong move could put us all at risk."

"Thomas, I know that you helped save the Island from the Storm King," said Percy, "but there's no need to be such a nasty engine. You're utterly full of yourself." He decided to talk with Toby instead. Flash was still oiling Toby round to ensure his parts wouldn't seize up the next morning. "What's a drip?" he asked, suddenly and completely out of nowhere.

"A what?" Flash asked, as he completed the work and got his coat, ready to head home.

"A drip," Percy replied.

"Well," Toby replied, "a drip is something that comes through a hole in the roof when the rain gets in, which keeps my mind from wandering where it will go. Often you don't have proper time to mend it."

"Well," Percy replied, "I heard a boy call his friend a drip whilst on the platform today. I'm sure he didn't fall through a hole in the roof."

"Well, Apple Bloom found Duke by falling through a hill."

"Are you calling Apple Bloom fat?" Toby asked.

"That," said Thomas loftily, "is not what the boy meant. He was calling his friend a coward."

"Does that make you a drip?" Percy asked.

Thomas' safety valve would have gone if he had any steam in his boiler. "Shut up and go to sleep, like a sensible engine!" he snapped.

The next day, Thomas was exhausted as he puffed along his branch line. Henry had arrived late due to overruning engineering works on the main line, and Thomas was desparate to make up lost time. As he blasted along, his eyes struggling to stay open, there was a loud bang, and something impacted with the bottom of his left hand water tank (from the driver's point of view, at least).

"Ouch!" Thomas replied. "What was that, even?" He came to a sudden stop in the middle of nowhere.

There was a sound of running water, and Twilight hopped out to take a look. "Oh, of all the things to happen!" she exclaimed.

"What's happened?" asked Thomas.

"One of your siderods broke apart, and the rear section swung up and punctured the water tank. It hit the tank at the point where the water feed over, so water is now draining out of both tanks. We're not going any further. I need to throw your fire out before any damage happens." As she climbed back aboard, Thomas looked out miserably.

"What a gloomy day," he said sadly, as the rain swept in.

At Ffarquhar, Percy and Pinkie were busy shunting, in the yard, and Paxton was most certainly not a rock. Suddenly, the station master appeared. "You two!" he called. "Leave those trucks immediately, and head back down the line towards Ellsbridge. Thomas has had an accident, and his tanks are leaking. He won't be able to get to Ffarquhar on his own, and needs another engine to tow him back."

Percy was unconvinced. "I won't," he said crossly. "Thomas called me a drip the other night. He can stay there, drip, and make the entire countryside soggy for all I care."

Pinkie was shocked! "Honestly Percy!" she said. "What about Twilight, and Thomas' passengers, stuck out in the rain? Do they deserve to be stuck there all night too?"

Percy immediately forgot to be cross, and his face fell. "Oh," he said. "I hadn't thought of them. We shall have to go and resuce them, in case they become drips too." And with that, he set off bravely down the line with a good head of steam and full water tanks. When he arrived, the passengers cheered. Pinkie linked Percy up to Thomas, who looked glum.

"I'm sorry for all that happened," he said sadly. "And there was no call for me to call you a drip," he added. "If you never want to speak to me again, I entirely understand."

Percy smiled, as he drew Thomas into the platform. "Of course we can," he said, with a smile. "It was silly, in the end, but as friends we can move beyond it and become better friends than ever before. Just be glad there were no mountains of boxes falling on you!"

Thomas snorted. "That sounds like the plot of a special episode of some children's show. Besides, the joke's on me. I was the drip, in the end. Or rather my tank was!"

Both engines began laughing at this, and I am proud to say they are better friends than ever before.

Author's Note

As this was never adapted into an episode, this is based on Ted Robbins' superb narration.

Thomas and Percy's falling out in this story reminded me of some spats I've had with my friends over the years. To which I ask; bury it and move on. You have no idea how long you have left with them.

The Other Number One

Thomas the Tank Engine came to a stop in Knapford station with a happy smile on his face. He had just completed another passenger run to Ffarquhar and back, and everything had worked out splendidly. The passengers hadn't complained (which was impressive), the trains had run on time (equally impressive), and there had been no crying babies on board (which was a nice change from the usual, as one of the local women had recently had a baby who could be rather noisy). "Hello again everybody!" he said, with a smile. "What a lovely day it is!"

"It's a hot one, though!" said Twilight, with a smile. "I think I'll need to get a cold drink from Mrs Allgood's cafe! See you in a moment!" Securing his brakes, Twilight popped over to the shop.

Thomas sat there, smiling. It felt good not only to be safe on Sodor, but to be really useful too. Being really useful always cheered him up.

"Hello!" said a voice. "Are you Thomas the Tank Engine?"

Thomas looked to his left. Pulling into Knapford station was a big red tank engine, with no leading wheels, four driving wheels, and four trailing wheels. He had side tanks, a large cab with a substancial bunker, a myriad of pipes running along his boiler, and the words METROPOLITAN RAILWAY written on his tanks, with a crest unlike any Thomas had ever seen before.

But that wasn't what caught Thomas' attention. Painted on the engine's bunker was the number one!

"Good morning," said Thomas. "I don't believe I've seen you before. But how can you be number one?"

"My name's Amersham," the tank engine replied. "I see you're number one of this railway company, but I can explain." The engine spoke with a Home Counties accent, giving away his origins somewhat. "I was built for the Metropolitan Railway in London, a railway that runs underground. There, I was their number one. I was later renumbered L44 by London Transport, and then restored to my old Metropolitan livery by a group of volunteers."

"Don't be silly!" exclaimed Thomas. "Railways cannot run underground! There's not enough light, and where would all the steam go?"

"Amersham here has a condensor," explained the man on the footplate, who had dark green skin and red hair, purple eyes, and wore a usual railwayman's uniform of boilersuit, jacket and greaseproof cap. "That means he can hold all the steam in a special tank until he is clear of the tunnel. Then, when he's in the open air, he can expell it all."

Twilight, by this point, had rejoined Thomas' footplate. "Good morning you two!" she said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Amersham," the tank engine said again. "I'm here on a visit from Buckinghamshire Railway Centre. As nice as it is, the running line is a bit short, and I'd like to stretch my wheels."

"I'm Pharynx," his driver said. "Not Phillip. I dislike the name. My brother Thorax works here, I think? Drives a big blue electric."

"Fancy a race?" Thomas asked. "I'll go get turned on the turntable so I'm facing the same way as you, then we can have some fun."

"What a marvellous idea!" Amersham smiled. "I won't be going anywhere." He smiled as he saw Thomas set off with Annie and Clarabel to the carriage sidings. "I hope they have some good, wood bodied coaches here. I miss pulling wood bodied coaches."

"Let's hope we can get a visit to the Bluebell again," Pharynx told him. "Wait a second, look over there. Is that Stepney?"

Thomas returned a few minutes later, now facing the right way. "Race you to Knapford Junction!" he said, and sped off. "I'm number one, and I know this railway! He doesn't have a chance!"

"We need to keep to the speed limits, Thomas," Twilight sternly reminded him. "No speeding or SPADs."

Thomas wasn't paying much attention. He suddenly heard another, much louder puffing noise behind him, and saw, to his amazement, that Amersham was now level with his bunker. "What?" he asked. "Where did you come from?"

"Quainton Road!" Amersham replied. "I'm a fair bit more powerful than you are, mate!"

Thomas glanced forward, and suddenly saw a red signal. "Brakes, driver!" he said. "We need to stop!"

Twilight slammed the brakes on and brought Thomas to a complete halt, as Amersham went on by. At Knapford Junction, Amersham was sitting in the platform as Thomas pulled in.

"Not really a fair race, was it?" the red tank engine said. "You had that red signal to contend with. If you were on the Metropolitan Railway, a tripcock would have stopped you anyway."

"A what?" Twilight asked.

"It's a device designed to apply an engine's emergency brakes," Pharynx explained. "Fancy a rematch?"

"Let's do it," Twilight nodded, an unusually competitive streak showing, and the station master produced his flags.

Both engines were ready to go. The lines had been cleared, and the signals all shone green.

"Ready? Set? Go!" called the station master, waving his green flag down. Both Thomas and Amersham shot forward, wheels digging into the rails and producing an incredible display of smoke and steam as they flew along the main line. People came out from their houses to watch the two locomotives giving it their all as they raced along the track (keeping to the speed limit, of course), until disaster struck. There was some loose debris on the track from a goods train that had cleared the section, and Thomas ploughed into it, derailing as he did so and crashing into the dirt.

"Help!" he called. "Help! Please!"

Twilight had jumped clear in time, and produced her phone to call for help when she suddenly saw Amersham reversing towards them and stop. "Amersham? What are you doing here?"

"I'll go get help!" the red tank engine called. "You keep Thomas company!"

"But the race-?" Thomas started. The red tank engine cut him off.

"You've derailed and need help. Not only that, the line is obstructed. I think a race is the least of our worries at the moment."

A few minutes later, Amersham returned with the brakedown train, and Thomas was soon back on the track. Thomas and Amersham are now good friends, and Thomas can come and visit him in Buckinghamshire whenever he likes. Thomas, likewise, has put in a good word for the big red tank engine, who has done some impressive work on Thomas' branch line. Safe to say, they are both number one.

Author's Note

Considering this engine has been in the press a lot lately, I couldn't resist including it. This story is based on Number One Engine, one of the few episodes of BWBA I actually like, so there's that I suppose, even if it goes off into the realms of silliness and unrealistic, cartoony nonsense at points.

Twin Trouble

Donald and Douglas, the Scottish twins, frequently work together on Sodor, working long, heavy goods trains, exactly as they did back on the mainland, hauling goods from Dumfries to Stranraer and back again if need be. They work extremely hard, and always know what the other is doing. Lyra and Bon-Bon, of course, also keep a watchful eye on them as well, and as they puff along through the countryside, it is easy for them to relax and just enjoy the run.

One afternoon, the Scottish Twins bounced along the track with a mixed train for Vicarstown, where a mainline engine would pick the train up and take it onwards to places far away. This was not the train the railwaymen call the Flying Kipper, but instead a Class H through freight. Up ahead, however, there were problems. Trevor had stalled on the level crossing when the cart he was hauling fell to pieces, and Grand Pear was frantically phoning the railway to tell them of the accident.

"Ya need ta stop all trains until the mess can be cleaned up!" he said, over the telephone. "We'll try ta move it as best we can, but right now all trains must-"

Suddenly, Donald's whistle echoed in the distance.

"Oh no."

Donald rounded the bend, and there it was. The cart! "Stop!" he shouted. "There's a great big cart in the way!"

Lyra and Bon-Bon both slammed on the brakes on their respective engines, but it was too little, too late. The heavy, unfitted wagons banged into each other and propelled the two engines forward, and Donald hit the cart at 20 miles an hour, blowing it to pieces and derailing, falling into the side of the embankment.

Lyra pulled herself out of the hay. Both she and Donald were unhurt, but were very cross indeed. Not at Trevor, though.

"What was that for?" Lyra demanded.

"What was what for?" Bon-Bon replied.

"Bein' pushy an' all!" Donald added.

"Bein' pushy? What are ye talkin' aboot?"

"You pushed me into the cart!" Donald snapped.

"You pulled me, more like!" Douglas snapped back. "You shouldnae been goin' so fast!"

"We were doing the speed limit," Bon-Bon pointed out.

"Didnae!"

"Did too!"

"DIDNAE!"

"DID TOO!"

About an hour later, Donald was lifted back onto the track, but although he was able to continue with his journey, he was still fuming, as was Lyra, who was covered in hay. Sadly, it was only to get worse. Neither engines nor their drivers spoke to one another for the rest of the day, and in the morning they were still cross.

Sir Toppham Hatt arrived at Arlesburgh West to speak to the Caledonian twins. "I," he said, "need an engine to assist Duck. He's down at the smelting yards moving trucks about, and we need another engine in a similar power category."

"I'll go, sir," said Donald.

"I only need one engine, not two."

"He only is one engine," Lyra pointed out, "and we'd both like to work there. Away from Douglas."

Bon-Bon glared at her. Sir Toppham Hatt was surprised, but he agreed to the plan.

Oliver spoke up. "Won't you two miss each other? I'm sad whenever Stepney and Duck aren't around."

"And I miss Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom when they are elsewhere as well," Scootaloo sighed.

"I get you three are close knit," Douglas sniffed, "but there are some days I work better on my own. This is one of them."

At first, Donald and Lyra had a good time working with Duck, and Apple Bloom was happy to see them again. However, things soon started going wrong. Donald stormed into the yard in a huff. "Did you put those trucks on the other line?" he snapped.

"Yes," Duck replied. "As you asked me to."

"Not that other line!" Lyra exclaimed, facepalming. "The one next to it!"

"Ya never said which one y'all wanted it on," Apple Bloom replied, looking a bit confused.

"Whatever," Donald grumbled as he puffed away. "Douglas would've known what I meant."

Duck sighed. "He's in a bad mood."

Elsewhere, Douglas was also working solo, and enjoying himself (somewhat). The scenery was nice, and the trucks were better behaved than usual. But he only had Bon-Bon to share it with. "As weird as it soonds," he sighed, "I miss Donald."

"It just isn't the same without Lyra," Bon-Bon admitted. "I know! Let's visit them tonight, once we've delivered our last trucks."

Late that evening, Douglas came to see Donald. "Hello!" he said.

"Here to apologise?" Donald snapped.

Douglas was furious. "There's nothin' to be sorry for!" he snapped, and he puffed away.

"That," Bon-Bon said curtly, "was an accident, and you know it as well as I do, Lyra."

"Well, good riddance!" Lyra shouted back.

The day after, Donald was not looking where he was going, and Duck spotted this. "Look out for the buffers!" he called.

It was too late, of course. Donald crashed through the buffers and fell into a pit, the sound of deflating bagpipes audible all around.

Lyra climbed out of the cab, unhurt, and shook her fist at Douglas. "This wouldn't have happened if you'd been working with Douglas-"

"Shut yer pie hole!" Donald snapped. "You've been havin' a hissy fit over Bon-Bon, and not speakin' a word to her either! We're as bad as each other in that regard! Take the log out of yer eye before ye remove the speck from mine!"

Duck rolled his eyes. "How about we stop arguing and get help?"

Douglas was shunting nearby when Duck raced in. "Help!" he said.

Apple Bloom then started speaking.

"DonaldfellthroughsomebuffersandLyraishurtandtheirbothyellingateachotherand-"

"Slow down," Bon-Bon said. "I can't understand what you're saying."

"Donald's hurt," Duck explained calmly. "I can't pull him to safety myself, and there are no other engines available."

Douglas was shocked. "There's no time to waste!" he said. When he got there, Donald and Lyra had stopped shouting, and looked very sorry for themselves. Hooking up guide cables, and attaching Duck to the back to provide support, Douglas began to pull. His wheels slipped and smoke and steam belched from his chimney as he pulled his twin up the messy slope and back onto the rails.

"Are you hurt?" Bon-Bon asked.

"Only my pride," Donald replied. "Look, Douglas, I'm sorry about a few days ago."

"Me too," Douglas sighed. "This has been rather silly. Shall we put it behind us?"

"I think we should," Donald said.

Lyra and Bon-Bon made up too, and hugged each other. "Best... friends... FOREVER!"

All four of them rarely quarrel now, and remember that the most important thing is to be really useful indeed.

Thomas and the Wonky Whistle

It was Bank Holiday weekend on the Island of Sodor, and the weather was unseasonably sunny. Instead of bucketing it down like it normally does, the sun shone clear, glorious, and bright above the Island. People were happy, the engines were happy, not a single person was sad. It was also the day of the country show, this year being held at Sweet Apple Acres, where the farmers would demonstrate and showcase their trades and livestock, and there was a fairground for the children, complete with newly repaired fairground organ that played popular tunes.

The engines were kept busy hauling stock about the island in preparation, as it was set to be very busy day, and a hot one too. But one engine was glum. Thomas sat in the workshop at Crovan's Gate, looking at the ceiling. He was having problems with his whistle, and as such had been put aside so it could be mended. Twilight was on top of his boiler (it having cooled), and she was busy fitting a replacement that could be used in the meantime.

"How long is this going to take?" Thomas asked her. "I really hate being out of action."

"Patience, Thomas!" she replied. "This is not an easy issue to fix- ah! There we are, the new whistle is fitted. Apparently, this whistle is all the way from America."

Then, Sir Toppham Hatt arrived. "Good morning Thomas!" he said. "It's nice to see you're doing well. Twilight, is the new whistle fitted?"

"Yes sir," she replied, sliding off his boiler cladding and landing on the ground. "OW! We just need to check it for calibration and steam pressure."

"Very thorough," Sir Toppham Hatt smiled. "Now then, when that's all done, I need you to proceed to Farmer McColl's. He has a few sheep still to be taken to the country show. Puff proudly, chuff carefully, and whistle well."

"Sir, are you feeling alright?" Thomas asked. "You don't normally alliterate this much."

"I feel quite alright, thank you," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "You must let people know about the country show."

"Assuming everybody on the island doesn't already know," Twilight said. "It's received as much publicity as the Amity Ball!"

"The what?"

"An upcoming event at Knapford Secondary School."

"Ah." Sir Toppham Hatt gave Twilight a letter. "The managers of the country show have asked our crews and engines to recite this rhyme to publicise the country show."

Twilight sighed. "Yes sir," she replied.

A few hours later, Thomas was up to full operating pressure, and Twilight sounded the whistle to warn the depot staff he was about to move off. But it wasn't the usual single tone. An incredibly loud chime whistle blasted out a long, thunderous tone that made everybody jump. Thomas puffed away and towards the main line.

A workman got to his feet. "That was loud!" he exclaimed.

"You can say that again," said another.

"That was lo-"

"NOT LITERALLY!"

Thomas sped down the line, and came to a stop at the farm. A line of cattle vans was waiting, loaded with sheep. Twilight blasted the whistle, and Thomas puffed away, scaring away a group of goats in a field, causing them to run in the opposite direction to the sheep pen.

Farmer McColl laughed. "That's one way of separating the sheep from the goats!" he joked. "But something is clearly wrong with Thomas' whistle."

Thomas had a booked stop at Knapford Junction to allow an express to pass. There were lots of people on the platform. Twilight consulted the piece of paper she had been given. "We need to read the rhyme," she said. "Manager's orders."

"You're rhyming too!" Thomas exclaimed. "What realm of madness have I fallen into? Besides, the rhyme is stupid!"

"Manager's orders," Twilight replied. "I don't like it either, but we must do as told."

Thomas sighed. "Fine. Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!" he said, with as much enthusiasm as he could garner.

Just then, the signal dropped. "Let's go!" Twilight said, and blasted Thomas' whistle. The effect was similar to that at the works, as people fell over in shock and jumped in fright.

"There's something wrong with his whistle!" exclaimed the station master. "I must phone Sir Toppham Hatt."

Thomas puffed into Knapford Station and was forced to stop again, as a late running ballast train from Arlesburgh was yet to arrive. Whilst there, he saw Bertie pull up with a load of passengers. "Well, time to say the rhyme," he sighed, as the bus passengers walked onto the platform. "Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!"

Then the signal dropped as Douglas rattled through with the ballast. Twilight sounded the whistle again, and people once again were caught off guard, falling over, falling onto one another, dropping their scones on the floor, and making a mess as Thomas pulled away.

Mane Allgood emerged onto the platform from the teashop. "What does that lunatic think he's doing?" she said. "That loud noise made me drop a plate!"

"I'll help clean it up," said a customer.

Thomas had to make one last stop at Tidmouth, before being cleared onto the Arlesburgh line. As he called at the platform, the place was packed. "Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!" He said. "This is getting really tiresome."

"One last blast of the whistle ought to do it!" Twilight said. She pulled down on the whistle chord, and the chime whistle echoed through the station as Thomas moved off once more. The noise was so loud that glass shattered.

At long last, he stopped at Sweet Apple Acres siding. Big Mac and Applejack were on hand to open the doors of the cattle vans, but the animals emerged looking frightened, and scared.

"What's gotten inta them?" Big Mac asked.

"Beats me," Applejack said. "Any clues, Twi?"

Twilight turned red. "I may have been using the whistle a bit too much," she admitted.

"Why would that be a problem?" Applejack asked. "Thomas' whistle ain't too scary."

Twilight said nothing, but pulled down on the whistle chord. The sheer volume and texture of the sound soon made the problem clear.

"Ahhh," said Big Mac. "Ah see the problem. The whistle is so loud and strange the animals ain't used ta it. Ya need to get the old one put back on as soon as possible."

"Assuming we have any eardrums left," added Snap Shutter, arriving with Scootaloo in tow, who had her hands over her ears. "Drop Thomas' fire. I'm going to make some modifications."

A bit later still, Thomas' whistle was a lot quieter, thanks to a dampening plate having been installed. The improved sound calmed the animals down, and soon the show went on as normal.

Sir Toppham Hatt arrived to see all was well at the show. "Well done Thomas!" he said. "That was some fine work you've done today, and it's good to hear your whistle sort of back to normal."

"Thank you sir," Thomas said. "I've noticed you've stopped alliterating or rhyming."

"Marketing trick on behalf of the country show," he laughed. "It clearly worked!"

And the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres sounded to mirth and merriment.

Author's Note

Wonky Whistle is widely regarded as the worst episode of Thomas and Friends ever made (good lord, the alliteration is infectious), and it's easy to see why, from the unrealistic nature of the story, to the danger of an engine with a nonfunctioning whistle, to the fact the engines need to rhyme all the time. This is my attempt to fix it.

Gordon takes a Tumble

For fear of sounding like a stuck record, the engines of the Island of Sodor are proud of how useful they are. They love their work and how they conduct it, and it makes them feel very important. But no engine feels more important than Gordon the Big Engine. One day, he was waiting at Tidmouth station to pick up passengers for an express working to Vicarstown. Rainbow Dash was currently changing his lamps over, when Percy rolled in to the station with an empty stock movement, then Boco stopped with some trucks.

"Please do watch where you put that soot," said Gordon. "It'll make my paint look sooty. And I don't want to look sooty."

"Or else I'll need to Sweep it up!" Rainbow Dash added. Everybody stared at her blankly. "What?"

"Moving trucks is a messy job," said Boco. "But then again, you wouldn't know about that, would you?"

"I have worked trucks, and have no desire to do so again!" said Gordon. "It's utterly undignified."

"Undingifried?" asked Percy. "I know dingifried, but not undingifried."

"That's how you make Scottish Mars Bar cake!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You deep dingifry it and then serve it in batter!"

"Pinkie, that's disgusting," Rainbow Dash replied. "Why not just have fish and chips?"

"Besides, neither of those are words," snapped Gordon. "It's 'dignified' and 'undignified'. The word means that-"

"You're full of yourself?" Filty Rich interjected.

"Too big for his buffers is the correct term," Boco added.

"I can see where you're coming from," Pinkie grinned. "Dashie here did write a song about how aw-"

"Look! It's time to go!" said Gordon, hurriedly, and blasted away before anybody could say anything else.

"What about the passengers?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

That night, fog covered the Island of Sodor. Everything was slowed down, as under fog rules, trains must run at slower speeds in order to run safely and stop at signals (although all engines on the island have Automatic Warning System). Soon, the docks were stuffed full of waiting lines of trucks, and there were only so many that Donald, Douglas, and Murdoch could handle.

At Tidmouth Sheds, Sir Toppham Hatt led an emergency meeting. "We need more engines to help clear the mess at the docks. Bill and Ben have been dispatched to assist with moving stock to the marshalling yards, but I need Thomas, Percy, and Henry to assist with assembling the trains."

"On our way, sir!" Thomas exclaimed, and the three engines set off, one after the other, as the turntable needed to release each of them.

"Donald and Douglas are handling some of the trains, but Murdoch cannot pull all of them himself. James and Edward, I want you two to double head one of the trains."

"There's no engine more splendid than me suitable for the job!" James exclaimed.

"I do hope this work is completed sooner rather than later," Rarity sighed. "A lady does need her beauty sleep, after all."

"Sweetie Belle is younger than you and has been helping clear Brendam Docks with Stepney," Edward pointed out. "I didn't hear her complain once." And both engines set off into the night, with their drivers.

That left Gordon. "Gordon, I need you to- Gordon, are you even listening?"

Gordon was snoring and talking in his sleep. "Call me Star... Shooting Star."

Sir Toppham Hatt sounded an air horn, and Gordon woke up as Rainbow Dash finished lighting his lamps. "I need you two to work a through freight. You'll get more details when you arrive at Tidmouth."

"Trucks?!" said Gordon. "Whatever is the world coming to?"

"I'm watching you this time, so no jamming the turntable. Understand?" Rainbow Dash more than made her point clear, and Gordon puffed away. But he was still grumpy nontheless.

Gordon was soon coupled to a long, heavy mixed train, lamp on top and centre iron, as he waited for the signal to drop. As Percy propelled backwards to collect another set, Stepney puffed through. "Hello Gordon!" he said. "Why the long face?"

"I am doing work that is unsuited to me," Gordon sighed, "but if I must pull them, I shall show Boco how an LNER engine does it!"

"Careful," Boco said. "Running at night in the fog requires extra dilligence. Keep an eye on the signal."

"That's two of us," Rainbow Dash sighed, and opened the regulator, Gordon steaming away majestically with the trucks, 30 behind him, and none could match him (except maybe Murdoch).

Sweetie Belle spoke up. "Any way we can help?"

"Go assist Thomas and Percy. I imagine they need help marshalling trucks."

Later on, Gordon was steaming through the night, and going along at a fine old pace. "This is how you do it!" he smiled. "Partially fitted stock, clear lines, fifty on the speedometer. How are we for time?"

"There's no need to rush!" Rainbow Dash replied. "We've got plenty of time. These Class H workings are slackly timetabled."

Unfortunately, danger lay ahead. A signalman had gotten confused in the fog, and accidentally left the signals and points to route the train onto the Peel Godred line. Gordon knew something was wrong when he swerved to the left. "This doesn't feel right!" he said.

Rainbow Dash looked out of the cab. "Start of electric working?" she asked. "Oh no! We're on the electric line!"

The signaller at the next box saw Gordon approaching, and was stunned. "Steam engines aren't meant to come this way!" he said, and immediately put the signal to red on both the Up and Down lines. He also set the switch to move Gordon onto the freight line left there in case the power failed. Gordon went onto it, but the embankment had been designed with tank engines in mind, not a tender engine. As Rainbow Dash slammed his brakes on, the embankment gave way.

"JUMP!" Gordon called. Rainbow Dash bailed from his cab as he and his trucks fell down the embankment, rolled through a field, demolished a barn, and came to a stop in a muddy ditch. "Oh not again."

Sir Toppham Hatt came by later, after Rainbow Dash had helped stabilise Gordon and shut off his steam. Electra had towed the breakdown train to their location, and Thorax was helping get the cables secured. "Cheer up Gordon!" he said. "The accident wasn't your fault. That signalman set the points wrong, and that embankment could never have taken your weight. It was only meant for tank engines, after all."

"What'll happen?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Gordon will be repaired, and you'll get some time off to recover. As for the signalman... I'm not sure about what to do with him."

"Go easy on him sir," Thorax asked. "He had to react to a situation very quickly, and if Gordon had stayed on the main line, he would've crashed into the back of an electric goods."

Gordon was soon back to work, and found himself at Tidmouth waiting for passengers. Boco pulled into the station. "I heard about your accident," he said. "Sorry to hear that, old chap."

"I was a bit too big for my buffers," Gordon admitted. "Shall we move on?"

"A very good idea," said Boco. And all the engines whistled and sounded their horns.

Duncan the Humbug

It was Christmastime on the Island of Sodor. Again. The snow fell from the skies, blanketing the land in a blanket of white. Everywhere you looked, Christmas lights glowed, and trees stood above the skies like mighty beacons of warmth and light. It was an extremely busy time, with both passenger and cargo trains arriving and departing at all times of the day and night, but it was also a very happy time, as it was very hard to be miserable at Christmas on an island like Sodor. That, and like sensible railway companies, the North Western didn't schedule every conceivable piece of engineering works for the busiest time of the year.

However, one engine wasn't happy at all. Duncan looked grumpy, staring at the passengers sharing gifts with one another and being happy. They had no right to be happy at this time of year, especially since some of those on the island had no proper families at all, like Gallus. "Ba!" he said. "Humbug!"

As Duncan was being warmed up for the passenger run (he could see the passengers on the main line platforms), Rheneas spoke up. "Hello Duncan!" he said. "You look miserable."

"Well deduced," Duncan replied. "I bet Smoulder's happy; she doesn't have to see her stupid relatives."

"You guys are more of a family to me then they ever were," Smoulder added, as she finished oiling Duncan round. "How are you coping with the cold, Yona?"

"Yona like cold weather!" Yona replied, smiling. "Yona used to cold and singing of carols." Then she started singing loudly and out of tune. "Hark the Herald angels sing-"

"If you're going to massacre Mendelssohn, please do it in private," Skarloey said hastily. He disliked bad, out of tune singing. Any Welsh engine did.

"I hate winter mornings," Duncan grumbled. "True, the steam's good, but it takes us ages to get up to steam."

"Oh, I think winter is a lovely, friendly time," said Rheneas in response.

"And," Duncan interrupted, "if the points freeze, that means even more delays!"

"Come on crosspatch," Smoulder said, "we've got work to do. No more hanging about!"

"See you two later!" Rheneas called, as Duncan snorted off into the distance.

Later that day, Duncan was heading round the Lake, near to where the line to the Old Bridge went off. As he steamed along, Rusty suddenly appeared on the other line!

"What the?" said Duncan, and Smoulder slammed on the brakes. Both engines, thankfully, stopped in time, but it had been a close one.

"Good afternoon, Duncan!" said Rusty cheerfully. "How are you?"

"I could be better, to be honest," Duncan replied. "As you can see, we nearly collided with each other."

"Sorry," said Sandbar. "I misjudged the stopping distance."

"It wasn't your fault," Smoulder replied, shivering despite the heat from Duncan's firebox. "It's this bloomin' snow! It makes the track slippery and increases all the stopping distances." Moments later, they headed off once more.

"Talk about Scrooge," Rusty observed, once Duncan was firmly out of earshot.

The loop rejoins the main line at Rheneas Falls station, and Duncan rattled to a stop in the Up platform as Skarloey pulled in with a van train. "Good afternoon Duncan!" smiled Skarloey. "Isn't this a lovely day? It's all so busy, and everybody seems so happy."

"Well, it's alright for some!" Duncan snapped. "All of these passengers are slowing us down. And where are those vans going anyway?"

"We're taking them to Sugarcube Corner," Ocellus explained. "Mrs Cake is baking us all a Christmas cake, and I'm helping her! Isn't that amazing?"

"It does sound fun," Smoulder mused, before the signal dropped. "Finally! We can go!" With a blast of the whistle, Duncan was off and away. But Skarloey and Ocellus suddenly felt all their festive cheer melt away.

That evening, when they returned to the depot, Rheneas and Rusty were there too. "Duncan's been terrible today," Rheneas said. "He said that he dislikes the cold."

"He said today that the icy rails were making it hard to stop in time," added Rusty.

"And he stated the passengers were slowing us down," finished Skarloey.

Sandbar sighed. "At this rate, he'll have ruined everybody's festive cheer. Not that we need more ruining. Silverstream's parents have started fighting again."

Ocellus looked at the floor. "We need to do something to make those two stop being so negative," she said.

"But what?" Yona asked. "Yona have no idea."

Just then, Duncan rolled in, grumbling. "What a mess! All this snow has turned into slush and makes my wheels slip! It's so annoying! I can barely get any traction up!"

"Cheer up, Duncan," Smoulder said. "You're all getting repainted soon."

"Indeed!" added Rusty. "I'm getting lined black!"

"It's about time," Duncan grumbled, as he backed into the shed. "We're all grubby, got new timetables to remember, are covered in slush, have food jammed under the carriage seats..."

The others tuned him out. "If only he'd stop grumbling," Rheneas sighed.

"If only for one day," added Skarloey.

Just then, Duke rolled into the depot. He had heard the entire conversation, and as Cheerilee did some quick maintenance, Duke spoke up. "Duncan's being a pain in the smokebox, is he? I have an idea..."

The next morning, Mr Percival came around to see the engines. "Hello, everybody!" he said. "All of you will soon be getting repainted. However, there is a catch, a catch you all must follow. You must all be cheerful for the entire day, and there will be no negativity. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" the engines and their drivers chorused. But one was internally annoyed. Duncan put on the goofiest grin he could muster and set off for his train.

At Crovan's Gate, he was held at the platform for Duke to pass with an empty slate train. Rheneas was waiting to reverse into the carriage sidings. "What a nice day!" he exclaimed. "Remember, Duncan, go carefully with all this extra snow! It's certain to make the track slippery!"

"Thanks for the reminder," Duncan replied, that ridiculous grin still plastered to his smokebox. As his coaches were pushed into position, Smoulder filled up her teapot and poured a cup of tea.

"I can't think of anything nicer than a cup of tea on a cold day," she said.

The passengers soon got on, and Skarloey pulled up with more trucks. "Good morning!" he said. "How are you doing?"

"Completely fine," Duncan replied, as the passengers got on with incredible amounts of baggage (most were travelling to the Sodor Lake Hotel to spend the holiday). He then set off as soon as the whistle blew.

Ocellus wasn't convinced. "Something seems fake about his cheerfulness," she said.

On the way up the valley, Duncan's passengers began singing Christmas Carols. Duncan hated people singing out of tune, and was about to sound his whistle to get them in tune when he stopped in the loop at Cross-ny-Cuirn to let Rusty pass.

"Hark the Herald Angels Sing, glory to the New Born King!" Rusty sang, as he flew through.

"And a partridge in a pear tree!" Sandbar added.

Duncan tried to keep the smile up, but his cheerful demaneour was starting to crack. "I prefer Silent Night," he said, as he set off.

"Or how about Once in Royal?" Smoulder suggested.

"That one's overused," Duncan replied. "Especially in Christmas Day, when we should be singing 'Oh Come, all ye Faithful'."

Trouble came at Lakeside station. Duke had stopped in the platform, and Duncan was held behind him. Duncan lost his patience and blasted his whistle. "For Barclay's Sake!" he exclaimed. "What's the hold up?"

"There's some slippery track on the other side of the loop, meaning I can't easily get to the quarry," Duke replied. "We'll just have to wait."

Duncan then had a bright idea. "I'll drop the coaches here and push you through the slippery section. Two engines are better than one, eh?"

"Good idea!" Duke replied. The two engines made short work of the slippery track, and the platform was soon clear for Duncan to bring his coaches into.

That evening, when he returned to the shed, Mr Percival was waiting for the other engines. "Hello Duncan!" he said. "I heard from Duke that you helped him. Good show. You'll be repainted."

"What?" Duncan replied. "I lost my temper at him. You said there was to be no negativity for the entire day."

"And I am a little annoyed at Garble for sending me embarrassing photos," Smoulder added. "Doesn't he know I hate dresses?"

"You helped Duke in his time of need," Mr Percival replied. "That, I think, is grounds enough for repainting. Though do tell me, why are you often miserable at Christmastime?"

Duncan sighed. "I miss Glasgow," he replied. "Christmas in the works was always so much fun, and Sodor's so different to that."

Cheerilee brought Duke to a stop in the depot, and climbed off his footplate. "Then Duke and I have had an idea that I think you'll like. For the first ever time, we will celebrate Hogmanay on Sodor!"

"Thank you!" Duncan smiled. "In return, I will try to be more cheerful from now on."

"It would be unreasonable to ask you two to be cheerful all the time," said Rusty, as he arrived, "as that's just the way you are. But you are no less useful because of it."

"Merry Christmas, Duncan, and to all of us!" Sandbar called. "God bless us!"

"God bless us, every one!" they all called together.

Signals Crossed

Sir Toppham Hatt has recently started a large scale renovation programme to simplify the approaches to Knapford Station, which are cluttered and difficult to follow. As part of this process, the old semaphore signalling system is receiving a comprehensive upgrade, with older signals being removed and newer ones being installed. This means that engines must be extra careful whilst approaching junctions and sidings, as the AWS ramps are disabled during the work.

One morning, Toby was approaching from the Vicarstown end of the station. Although it was a lovely day, and Henrietta was with him, he was still worried. "I'm worried, Flash."

"Worried about what?" Flash asked.

"Knapford station," Toby replied. "The signalling system is in such a mess at the moment, I don't know which signals are active or not. And there's so many attached to the gantries that I don't know which one is for me! It's a lot more complicated than on the Wisbech and Upwell, when we only had Home and Distant signals to deal with."

"You're not the only one," admitted Flash. "And with the AWS out of action during the work, it makes it a little bit harder. But don't worry. Two pairs of eyes is better than one, and I'm sure we can figure it out."

"OK, Flash," Toby replied. "Here we go." And they soon arrived at the outskirts of the station. Here, the line increases from two to eight tracks gradually, to allow access to all the platforms. Toby came to a stop on the relief line in front of the Home signal, which had just turned red to signify another train ahead of him in the section. Elsewhere, a Home signal dropped into the Clear position, but the Distant remained up, to indicate that the next signal was a Red. Knapford uses Lower Quadrant signalling, where the signal drops to indicate it is safe to go, and raises to indicate that a train must stop. This layout confused Toby. He was used to the signal rising to tell him it was safe to go.

"Wait for our signal, and we'll be clear to go," Flash reminded him, as Murdoch rattled through on the Up line. Toby looked up at the gantries. He had been warned that some of the signals were out of action, but was relieved when the signal suddenly cleared.

No sooner had he begun to puff forward, then Gordon shot past! "That was for the main line, not the relief line!" Gordon shouted. "The Relief signal is right above your line!"

Gordon was soon clear, and two sets of signals dropped at once. "One of those must be mine," Toby said. Then Henry rattled past on a very slow goods, well within block section working; he was only doing 35 miles an hour.

"Watch the signals!" Henry called.

This went on for the rest of the morning. The signalling layout was in such a mess that Toby had no clue whether to stop or to go, and so constantly got it wrong.

"This is where AWS would really help!" said Flash, getting frustrated. He reached for the radio. "Knapford Box, this is NWR 7, do you read, over?"

"Copy NWR 7, apologies for the delay. The main line is very busy, over."

"When will the relief signal clear, over?"

"Traffic is soon through. I will radio you when you can proceed. Out."

"Thank you." Flash looked about. "I imagine we'll still be here in a few minu-"

"NWR 7, the line has cleared. You are cleared to arrive at Platform 5. Over."

Knapford Box, thank you. Out." Flash rubbed his hands together. "Finally." The signal dropped, and the pair rolled into the platform, utterly confused and exhausted.

Thomas rolled to a stop in a neighbouring platform. "These signals are such a nuisance!" he said. "We don't know whether to come or go, and we're not helped by the signals being replaced either."

"Oh well," sighed Twilight. "It could be worse. There could be no signals at all and trains have to be flagged in with detonators."

"I can never remember which signal is mine," Toby sighed. "On my branch line, we only had one signal to worry about most of the time. And shunting disk signals were almost nonexistant. Oh, it boggles my mind!"

Thomas smiled. "Remember Toby, all you need to watch is the one right above your line, and where you are going to. If you'll excuse me, I need to take some passengers to Ffarquhar! I'm going from here as the water pipe at Knapford Junction has burst again and the River Ell is off limits!" He whistled, and pulled away.

"Are you going fishing?" Flash called.

"Possibly best not to remind him of that," Toby sighed. "Is it time to go again?"

A few minutes later, the passengers boarded, and Toby set off for the signals. The gantry in front was undergoing repairs, and as Toby looked up, he noticed something odd. The signal was in a down position, but the light was red. "I know exactly what I'm doing!" he chortled, and sat there. The signal was red, and so was the distant. Toby couldn't go, even if he wanted to.

Suddenly, a loud whistle sounded behind him, and James rolled to a stop. "Hurry up!" he said. "You're making me late too!"

Rarity, on the other hand, looked concerned. "Are you sure the last signal was green?" she asked. "If Toby is in front of us, in the same section, then the last signal must have been a red!"

"Well, that man next to the level crossing said it was safe to proceed!" James replied.

"But was he referring to the level crossing or the signal?" Rarity asked.

Flash, overhearing this, got his radio. "Knapford Box, this is NWR 7, over."

"NWR 7, this is Knapford Box, how can I help you, over?"

"I am held at a red outside Knaford Station. Requesting permission to pass the red under caution, over."

"NWR 7, permission denied, we are registering a track fault on our diagram. Please hold until contacted again. Out."

"We can't go, the signal's red!" Rarity exclaimed.

But James couldn't see the aspect, only the arm. "The arm is in the down position!" he said. "Therefore, it is green."

Suddenly, there was a loud whistle, and Gordon flew past with the express.

"OK, it isn't green."

Sir Toppham Hatt came out of his office. He looked rather annoyed. "What is the cause of delays?" he asked.

NWR 7, this is Knapford Box, we have an update for you. You have permission to pass Red under Caution, but you must obey all other signals, over."

"Thank you, Knapford Box. Out."

Seconds later, the radio in James' cab buzzed.

"Yes?" Rarity asked.

"NWR 5, this is Knapford Box, can you explain why you passed a signal at danger without requesting permission from the signaller, over?"

Rarity went pale. "Oh dear."

Following this incident, it was decided to replace all of the semaphores with colour light signalling, and to reactivate the AWS to ensure trains couldn't jump red signals by mistake. New rules have also been implemented to ensure this never happens again!

Author's Note

This adaptation of Signals Crossed combines two separate events. The first is a signalling mess that happened at Exeter St. David's in 1953. The second (James going through a red) is based on a SPAD that occurred in 2006 when a driver mistakenly believed he had clearance to go through the signal as a consequence of a communications breakdown between him and a track worker. The latter incident was later dramatised as A Perfect Misunderstanding;

Fish!

Stay Young

At Knapford Secondary School, they had School. Yes, today our focus moves away from the railway and towards the social lives of the characters. As the Young Six, as people had taken to calling the crews of the Skarloey Railway, walked down the corridor to their form rooms, Silverstream suddenly spotted something that hadn't been there before. "SEE?" she cried. "NEW POSTERS!" She ran over to the display cabinet, and pointed to a new one that showed two people awkwardly dancing with one another. "We don't see many new posters around here!"

"That's because the printer has been a bit dodgy lately," said Cheerilee. "But never fear. This year, we have decided to revive an old school tradition that got axed due to budget cuts."

"Namely?" asked Gallus.

"It was called the Fetlock Fete for some baffling reason."

"A fetlock is part of a horse's foot," Smoulder said. "Why are so many things in this school horse references?"

"I remember my uncle talking about this!" Sandbar smiled. "He's Sudrian born and bred, and apparently this event was a hit with students for decades! It's like a giant dance party!"

"Well," Cheerilee continued, "given the dramatic increase in both the student body and the island's population, we've decided to revive it and give it a fresh coat of paint. We're calling it the Amity Ball!"

"After the town in Jaws?" Gallus asked, confused.

"Nope!" Ocellus interrupted. "Amity derives from the French amitie, which in turn derives from the Latin word Amicus, meaning friend."

"So it's called the friend ball," Smoulder finished. "Wow. Sometimes foreign words do make things sound more profound."

"Yona ask what catering arrangements are," Yona said.

"We're using the old tradition of lucky pots," Cheerilee explained. "And we'll combine it with the best couple award. But the spirit of the night is to have fun, so remember that girls!"

"I'm a boy!" Gallus said, exsasperated at the fact people still referred to him and his friends collectively as girls. But Cheerilee was well out of earshot. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Silverstream."

"Wanna go?" his hyperactive friend asked. "It's gonna be great!"

"Anything for you, darling," Gallus smiled, and off they went.

Smoulder rolled her eyes. "I'll see if Spike wants to go," she grumbled, and walked off. This left Yona, Sandbar, and Ocellus in the school lobby.

Yona was fully expecting Sandbar to go to her, but instead he went over to Ocellus, who was minding her own business staring at a wall. "Ocellus?"

"Ahh!" the girl cried, and jumped. "Oh, hey Sandbar. Was there something you needed?"

"Yes, actually." Sandbar paused. "Would you like to go to the dance with me?"

Ocellus looked up, a little confused. "Sorry?"

"Ocellus, I was wondering if you'd be my dance partner at the Amity Ball."

It took Ocellus about two seconds to decide. "Yes! I'd love to!"

"That's settled then." The school bell suddenly went. "There's the locker bell! Time to go!"

As all the students headed their separate ways, Yona was stunned. "Yona want to ask Sandbar to dance!" she said, dejected. She had something of a crush on him. "Yona need to win Sandbar over any way she can!"

After completing work at the Skarloey Railway for the day, Ocellus caught a train to Knapford and went to see Rarity at her home. She knocked on the door, and Sweetie Belle got it. "Hi Ocellus!" she said. "Wanna see Rarity?"

"Yeah," Ocellus replied. "It's for the upcoming ball, and I don't have anything to wear. Can you help me, please?"

Sweetie Belle vanished into the distance. "Rarity, there's a customer for you!"

"Tell her to come up to my study!" another voice replied.

"She's ready!" Sweetie Belle smiled, and so Ocellus walked in, her shoes squeaking on the perfectly kept carpet. She stepped up the stairs and opened the door to a vast workshop filled with clothing and fabric.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and manifique." Rarity turned her chair to face the new arrival. "Good afternoon Ocellus. How can I help you?"

"Why do you have a signalling manual open on your desk?" Ocellus asked.

"I'm doing a refresher course on railway semaphore signalling. You see, I accidentally ran a red light whilst driving James and it nearly caused an accident. So, to ensure it cannot happen again, I decided to take the signalling course again."

"That's good thinking," Ocellus replied. "I often read the Skarloey Railway Operations Manual to ensure I know what I'm doing."

"You're very smart and wise for your age," Rarity smiled. "But I hardly imagine you came all the way here to talk about signals."

"Yeah." Ocellus figeted nervously. "I was wondering if I could have some advice on a dress for the Amity Ball?"

"That I can provide," Rarity smiled, and walked over, quickly taking the younger girl's measurements. "You're in luck! I got a new shipment of items in your size only yesterday, and I'm yet to process them for sale. You have your pick of all the garments."

So, Ocellus took one dress and went into the fitting room. A few minutes later, she emerged, wearing a red, sleeveless, knee length dress with a band of fabric running over her shoulders and connecting to the front and back, as well as another one around her waist. She also wore a pair of brown platform boots with white bases.

Rarity took one look, and frowned. "I'm not too sure that works. The boots clash with the rest of the outfit."

Ocellus nodded. "The skirt's a bit short for my taste. Do you have any others?"

"Yes, there are plenty for you to try on!" Rarity smiled, and the pair got to work. About an hour of trying on different outfits elapsed, until Ocellus finally had one she was happy with. She was now wearing a dress with short, dark red sleeves, a full collar around her neck, and a lighter red bodice. The skirt was in two separe colours; the waist down to about her knees was dark red, same as the sleeves, and the rest of the skirt, which fell to her ankles, was the same light red as the bodice. She complemented the entire thing with a pair of black shoes.

"My, my!" Rarity exclaimed. "Ocellus, you look marvellous! Are you happy with that?"

"Yes!" Ocellus grinned. "I can't wait to see how Sandbar reacts!"

"Sandbar?" asked Rarity. "Yona was through earlier and claimed she was going with him."

"That's not what I heard," Ocellus said, confused. "I thought she was going with Star Tracker."

"Weird. Oh well. I'll see you there as well. What will you be bringing for the pot luck?"

"Probably the family chili," Ocellus replied. "Mom does a seriously good one. I bet Smoulder will bring something spicy! She really likes South American food."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy with it," Rarity smiled. "As a friend, I'll put a 50% discount on that item. Have a nice day!"

Now all Ocellus needed to do was get ready for the dance.

The night of the dance came, and everything was ready. Instead of a DJ, the Knapford Secondary School Marching Band was on hand to provide music, and the room was set up with lights, colours, and many stands with food and drink on them (mostly potluck, although drinks were provided by the school). Most of the Young Six were already in place by the doors, with smiles on their faces.

Sandbar and Gallus were both attired in suits (and looked completely ridiculous), whereas Silverstream wore a sky blue dress with wave patterns on it, and Smoulder had been pursuaded- with great difficulty- to wear a dress, one of a very light blue colour. You could see she couldn't wait to take it off.

"So, party looks pretty good," Gallus said. "You ready to bust it on the dance floor, Silvs?"

"You bet, Gally!" Silverstream squealed in excitement. "We'll be the best couple before the night is out!"

"Where's Yona?" Smoulder asked. "She should be here by now."

"Probably fixing Rheneas," Gallus answered. "Well, I heard Rarity got some good business from all the dresses she's sold."

"Yeah," Sandbar nodded, sadly. His mind wandered, and he was worried. "I just hope she get-"

"Sorry I'm late!"

Ocellus suddenly sped through the door, turned to the table, and put her lucky pot down on it, before sprinting over to Sandbar. "The train was late, and Skarloey needed oiling, and I didn't want to get the dress dirty so I put it on here, and-"

"Calm down Ocellus!" Smoulder interrupted. "We haven't even formally started yet."

"Ladies and gentlemen!" called a voice. They glanced up to see a woman with dark grey skin and green hair on the stage, dressed in a business suit. This was Chrysalis, or Christine, the headmistress of the school. "Thank you for turning out for tonight's occassion. The Amity Ball is one of the school's old traditions, or rather its old incarnation of the Fetlock Fete was, and it is an honour to revive this institution. Is everybody ready? It's time for the party to begin! Take it away, Ringo!"

With that, the band launched into Everybody Dance Now. The brass sounded loud and clear, and the beat echoed through the hall as pairs of students took to the dance floor.

"You're good!" Sandbar complemented Ocellus. "How do you know where to put your feet in that?"

"I've been taking lessons!" Ocellus replied. "I know we've been friends for a while, but this is our first event as a couple, so I didn't want to make a fool of myself."

"Nothing that happens would make me think you a fool," Sandbar replied, unaware of the somewhat jumbled syntax.

After several minutes of classic tunes and toe tapping antics, it was time for a rest. Sandbar retired to one side of the floor, next to the food stands, as Ocellus excused herself to go to the bathroom. Sandbar was minding his own business, when suddenly Yona appeared from nowhere. "Yona found Sandbar!" she exclaimed.

"Erm, yes you have," Sandbar replied, confused. "What's up, Yona? I thought you were with Star Tracker!"

"Star Tracker over there, but Yona want dance with Sandbar."

Sandbar shuffled nervously. "I can't really do that. Ocellus is my partner for the night, and I don't want to-"

Yona seemingly lost her patience. "Yona love you, Sandbar!" Without a second's pause, she closed the distance and kissed him.

It was the worst possible timing. Ocellus came back in to see it all. "What?" she asked. She hadn't expected this at all.

Sandbar finally pushed Yona off of him. "Ocellus, this isn't what it looks like!"

"You two have been... dating this whole time?" Ocellus asked. "Under my nose the entire time?" Her eyes were brimming with tears at the shock of this betrayal.

"Yona and I aren't doing anything!"

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Ocellus screamed. "CLEARLY I WAS WRONG!" She then ran towards the doors, crying as she did so.

Sandbar looked back at Yona. He was absolutely furious. "What is wrong with you?" he demanded.

"Yona wanted to go to dance with Sandbar. Yona jealous that Sandbar spending all his time with Ocellus, so Yona only wanted one dance with Sandbar. Surely Sandbar can share?"

Sandbar stared in disbelief. "Firstly, I have no romantic inclination for you. Second, what makes you think I'd go against my promise to Ocellus to be her dance partner? And third, you can not only forget about having a dance, but about being my friend for how you've acted. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go comfort my date." And he stormed out, heading for the doors, leaving a miserable and very ashamed Yona behind.

Ocellus sat on the school steps and sobbed quietly to herself. How could she have been such a fool? She'd given Sandbar her heart, and he'd seemingly given it away to somebody else. How he could be so brazen in kissing Yona right in front of her-

"Ocellus?"

Ocellus looked up to see Sandbar standing there. "Go away," she replied.

"Ocellus, I can't help if you don't tell me what wrong."

"You like Yona, don't you?" Ocellus replied, blinking through her tears. "I'm not surprised. I look hideous."

Sandbar put his arm around her shoulder. "I don't like Yona," he said simply. "She forced herself onto me and kissed me without consent. There's nobody for me but you."

Ocellus sighed as she stood up, leaning on a wall as the last train to Vicarstown departed in the distance. "I must be the worst date ever- make that the worst person on the island."

"Woah, don't put yourself in that boat."

"Name two people or engines worse then."

Sandbar nodded. "Storm King and Diesel 10. I'll always love you, Ocellus, no matter what. That's what love is; pure, unconditional, and lifelong. Now, how about we go back indoors instead of getting cold out here?"

Safe to say, Silverstream, Gallus, and Smoulder were not happy with Yona for having wrecked the night of a friend. When Sandbar and Ocellus re-entered, Yona looked even more ashamed than before.

"Yona has a few words to say to you," Gallus said swiftly. "Come on Silverstream. Let's leave these three to sort it out."

Silverstream and Smoulder went with him. Yona hung her head. "Yona sorry for way she behaved. Can Sandbar find it in his heart to forgive Yona?"

"Of course I can," Sandbar replied. "Those were simply misplaced feelings."

"Yona knows," Yona sighed. "Yona wish Sandbar and Ocellus the best of luck."

"Thank you," Ocellus said. "Can we stay friends?"

"Of course," Sandbar smiled.

"Nice to see you made up," said Headmistress Chrysalis, joining the group.

Ocellus jumped. "Mo- Miss Chrysalis, you were listening the entire time?"

Sandbar's jaw dropped in disbelief. "She's your mom?"

"Indeed she is," Chrysalis smiled. "Thorax drives an electric engine. But I'm so proud of you for making up and staying together, as friends should. Strike up the band!"

Much merriment was had that night, as the band launched into a specially composed rendition of a Mike Perry song. And none were happier than Sandbar and Ocellus. Although they didn't win best couple, neither of them cared. They had each other, and that was all that mattered.

Author's Note

This story is an adaptation of She's all Yak, with Ocellus taking Yona's place.

The first dress Ocellus tries on looks like this;

This piece was done by Lhenao, over on DeviantArt. Check them out at the link!

https://www.deviantart.com/lhenao

The dress she wears to the Dance is based on this image;

Music for the Amity Ball;

Thomas' Christmas Party

Fish!

On starry nights-

"Yes, boss?"

Not you, Starry Night. Please go back indoors.

"Sorry."

Start again. On starry nights, when the moon is full, you can hear the sound of distant ships and echoing laughter. The sound runs over the hills and the valleys, through the trees and forests, and down the canals and into the sea. Everybody who lives on Sodor can tell you what that sound indicates. It tells you that Tidmouth Harbour is hard at work, and that friends are happy together, shunting trucks and assembling trains for their long journeys to places far away.

Henry was sitting on the dockside at 3 in the morning on a glorious Spring night. The air was cool, but not cold, and Fluttershy checked over one last time to ensure Henry was ready to go. That night was a tough one. There was more fish than usual, and as a result the Flying Kipper, which usually ran with 20 vans, was now a whopping 40 vans long, a load that was very heavy for a Black 5. Duck was propelling the rest of the vans into position, very slowly may I add owing to the immense weight. These vans were not the usual design used on the Flying Kipper. The normal stock used was XP rated metal 12T vans built by British Railways. The new vans were mostly old GWR vehicles, being a mixture of the wooden bodied 'Bloater' fish vans, and a handful of Hawksworth 'Monster' vans that had been hastily converted into XP rated stock.

As Duck finished moving the vans, puffing and panting at the strain, Thomas pulled up with some TPO vehicles due to collect mail and take it across the Island. "Hello Duck!" he said. "Going fishing, are we?"

"Not exactly," Duck replied. "These vans are heavy, though. I'm no stranger to hard work, but I could do with a breather!"

"You an' me both," Apple Bloom added. She had had a long day, and was currently hopped up on coffee as a precaution.

"I'd go easy," Twilight explained. "Thomas and I know the hard was how much of a mess fish can make, especially when one got stuck in Thomas' tanks and blocked the feed pipe."

"Well, I did shunt Newham Docks near Truro back in the day," Duck continued. "I knew that smelly fish was a bad sign. It was going off."

"Did you hear about the express train that had fish attached to the back?" Thomas asked. "They were moving the fish in open trucks, causing it to rot. They were fined by the Office of Rail and Road for health and safety and safe operating violations!"

"It's a good thing we have this XP rated stock then," Duck smiled. "All refridgerated, so no chance of the fish going off."

"Granny Smith once showed me how they kept fish before they invented fridges," Apple Bloom told them. "Accordin' ta her, they used ta absolutely plaster it in salt!"

"That may explain why soda sales were so high back then," Twilight mused.

"Duck!" called the foreman. "You need to proceed ahead of the Flying Kipper to Wellsworth. You will wait for it there and bank the train up Gordon's Hill!"

"On it, sir!" called Duck, and he puffed away, single lamp gleaming in the dark.

Henry continued to grumble. "This load is frightfully heavy for a Black 5. Can't I at least have a support locomotive on the front?"

"I'm certain you can do it, Henry," Fluttershy replied. "I believe in you. We only need to get as far as Wellsworth, and then Duck and Apple Bloom will help us up! Won't that be nice?"

"And then a nice run down the hill," Henry smiled. "All aboard!"

The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was, once more, ready to go. Henry's Stanier Hooter blasted over the yard, and he was on his way.

Meanwhile, Duck was sitting in the siding at Wellsworth, waiting for Henry to arrive. Applejack and Apple Bloom sat on the station platform (which was virtually deserted) sharing a mug of hot chocolate and swapping stories.

"So, it turned out Bulgy was fulla chickens!" Apple Bloom finished. "Now he's a fruit and veg stand!"

"Ah once bought an apple from there once," Applejack mused. "Did ya hear about the time that a barge was filled with stone trucks? They did repair him, but he sure weren't so rude after that."

Moments later, Henry rolled to a stop in the platform, clear of the support siding to allow Duck to buffer up. Fluttershy sounded the whistle sequence; Long-Long-Short-Long.

Duck responded with the same, as Apple Bloom had retaken the controls, and was rolled into the buffers on the rear vehicle.

"Why is there no brake van?" asked Apple Bloom.

"The train is fully fitted," Duck explained. "That means it doesn't need a brake van, as all of the trucks are connected to the engine's braking system. That's why it can run so quickly."

Duck wasn't coupled to the train, so he could stop when Henry cleared the worst of the gradient. It was an immensely heavy load for the two engines.

"Be careful!" called Edward. "It's quite slippery on the hill! We've had a bad lot of rain recently!"

Moments later, the Flying Kipper set off once more, both engines belching smoke and puffing hard, pushing or pulling depending on which end of the train they were on. The noise was so loud it could be heard miles away, the booming puff of a Stanier chimney combined with a harsh Collett bark. Henry was pulling so hard that Duck was struggling to keep up, and he actually dropped back as the weight on his buffers slackened.

"That's odd!" he said. "Henry must be having an easier time than we thought!"

"Look!" Apple Bloom called. "There's no tail lamp!" She blasted the whistle, but there was no response from Henry.

Henry, meanwhile, was still pulling ahead, but was starting to slow down. His driving wheels began to slip furiously on the wet rails. "Where's Duck?" he asked.

At the back of the train, the rear of the train suddenly loomed into view. "BRAKES!" Duck called.

Apple Bloom slammed the brakes on, but they were too close and there was not enough time to stop. Duck smashed into the rear Bloater van and completely demolished it, wood and fish flying everywhere. Fluttershy brought the train to a stop owing to the sudden jolt at the back of the train.

Duck blinked. "Oops."

The next day, Sir Toppham Hatt came to see Duck, who was unhurt but sad. "Cheer up Duck!" he said. "The accident wasn't your fault. We discovered that a faulty lamp bracket was the cause of the accident. It had come loose with age, and the rotten wood didn't help. You and Apple Bloom are good to go."

Duck still looked sad. "I'll never hear the end of this," he sighed.

Thomas, a few stalls over, felt sorry for Duck. "Don't you worry," he said. "We all make mistakes, myself more than others, but what matters is not how we fall, but how we get back up and learn from them."

Apple Bloom smiled. "Thanks," she said. "Well, it's back ta work on the Little Western. Come on Duck!"

With a blast of his whistle, Duck was back in business. Nobody mentions fish to him now!

Author's Note

This story is loosely inspired by a railtour on the Southern region where 60007 Sir Nigel Gresley was assisted up the grade out of Weymouth by an Ivatt Tank. However, the A4 was in such good shape that the banker couldn't keep up!

The Last Goodbye

Thomas' Christmas Party

Once again, it was Christmastime on the Island of Sodor, where Christmas seems to come around with frightening regularity. It was, of course, extremely busy, and the engines and coaches were kept constantly working as they puffed up and down the line. Thomas and Toby were hard at work on the Ffarquhar Branch Line, pulling passengers and parcels as they rolled along the line, and taking them to where they needed to go. Everybody was happy- except the coaches. Annie and Clarabel were busy grumbling.

"I feel so full, I feel so full!" Annie complained. "Not only that, I am the wrong way around!"

"It's always the same at Christmas!" Clarabel grumbled.

"Cheer up you two!" said Thomas, as they entered the tunnel before the cutting. "Where's your Christmas spirit? Christmas Day is almost here, after all!"

As they exited on the other side, a familiar face stood there, waving to them. "Look!" Twilight called. "It's Mrs Kyndley!"

Thomas smiled. "Peep Peep! Happy Peepmas!"

Keeper of Porridge, please get off my keyboard and leave the room.

Shall we have that again?"

Thomas smiled. "Peep peep! Merry Christmas!"

"And a happy New Year!" Twilight added. "Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without her, would it?"

"It wouldn't!" Thomas replied. "Which is why I think we should do something nice for her."

At the engine shed, the other engines had been repainted and polished, and their brasswork gleamed in the sunlight and the bright, cool air. "Hello Thomas!" said Gordon, who was in an unusually jovial mood. "Don't we look splendid, all of us?"

"I suppose we do," Edward said. "But I would rather like to get back to work. There are things to do apart from sit and sunbathe, you know."

"Edward does have a point," added Henry.

"Never mind any of that!" said Thomas. "Twilight and I have had an idea."

"Please tell us!" said Percy.

"Well," Twilight began, as the screen went extremely blurry, "it's a year since Mrs Kyndley saved us from that nasty accident in the cutting."

"You told us!" Edward said. "She waved a red dressing gown out of the window and prevented a nasty crash into a landslip."

"And," Percy interrupted, "we all gave her presents, and Sir Toppham Hatt sent her to Bournemouth to get better. How is she now?"

"She's doing very well," Thomas replied.

"The rest of us have never had a chance to thank her," James sighed.

"Exactly," Thomas smiled. "One good turn deserves another, I think. So I suggest that we throw her a special party to show her how much we value her."

"What a lovely idea!" exclaimed Gordon. "Where shall we have the party?"

Sir Toppham Hatt agreed to the party, and everybody set about making plans. Applejack and Edward set off for Sweet Apple Acres to get the food for the party. Pinkie Pie and Percy, alongside the Cakes, would handle drinks and fun games, whilst Rarity and James would decorate the sheds with some leftover fabric and the finest tinsel. Rainbow Dash and Gordon, as well as Henry and Fluttershy, would oversee the music. Suddenly, news came in.

"We've got some bad news," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "The weather's got worse, and a snowstorm struck Thomas' branchline. Mrs Kyndley is stuck in her house, under a snowdrift, and the line is also blocked. Toby is already tackling the problem from the Ffarquhar end, but we'll need two engines to clear the snow. That means wearing a snowplough, Thomas."

Twilight did look stern as she attached the heavy device to Thomas' buffer beam. "I don't want any nonsense, like last year," she said.

"I may hate this thing," Thomas sighed. "But we must rescue Mrs Kyndley. I'll do my best!"

It was hardly easy going up the branch line. Much of the snow was stuck fast on the track, and although some drifts would clear simply by charging through them, others were stuck hard and Twilight had to help dig Thomas out. Then, they would back up and charge again, and if it didn't clear, they repeated the process until it did.

"This makes you wish for a snowblower!" Twilight said. "That'd clear this problem fast!"

"Why not suggest it to Crovan's Gate?" Thomas asked. "I'm certain they'd like it."

A few minutes later, they reached the cutting, where they met Toby. He had made his way through from the other side, and Flash and a few men were busy shoring up the snow to prevent it from falling.

"Well, will you look at that!" Flash exclaimed. A massive wall of snow blocked the entrance to Mrs Kyndley's home. "That'll be a job and a half to shift!"

Suddenly, a familiar engine started up, and Terence the Tractor rumbled into action with a snowplough, effortlessly pushing the snow aside with skill and bravery. Big Mac drove him so well that they were done in minutes.

"How'd you get here?" Twilight asked.

"As soon as Ah learned of the snowfall, Ah drove Terence cross country to where we could help clear the mess!" Big Mac replied. "Boy is it cold here."

"Eeyup," replied Terence. "I trust you had an easier time! We had to navigate a frozen lake!"

"You'd be surprised," Twilight replied, sighing.

At long last, the rescue was complete. Percy came with a brakevan, and he and Pinkie Pie took Toby's workmen away. Mrs Kyndley said thank you to Terence and Big Mac, and wished Big Mac the best of luck with his fiance, Sugar Belle. Terence, in return, promised to watch Mrs Kyndley's cottage whilst she was away.

Thomas and Toby then headed for Tidmouth Sheds, but the yard was completely dark when they arrived. Moments later, the lights came on, and a most spectacular display awaited them. The shed had been decorated with Christmas lights, tinsel, and baubles. Trees covered in decorations sat all around, and a massive banner reading MERRY CHRISTMAS hung in the air.

"A splendid job!" said Sir Toppham Hatt. "I am proud of you all for the hard work you have all put in over the years, and although we have had some scrapes, it has been quite the honour knowing you all. Mrs Kyndley, I hope you find all to your liking.

"Three cheers fer Mrs Kyndley!" shouted Apple Bloom. "Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

Hip hip!"

"Hooray!"

Mrs Kyndley couldn't have been happier. She was very pleased with all the arrangements, and spoke to the smaller engines. "Thomas and Toby," she said, "you have been my friends for a very long time, and now Percy you are my friend too."

And they all came together to sing a very famous carol.

"We wish you a merry Christmas!
We wish you a merry Christmas!
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!"

They all thought it was the best Christmas ever, and everybody agreed that there was no better place to live than the Island of Sodor.

Author's Note

This is the only episode of Season 1 not to a story taken from the books (although Awdry penned it for the TV series). I originally considered including it in Retold Adventures, but as that was the books only, it didn't really fit.

Credits

The Last Goodbye

30 years later...

The world of the 2040s is, in many ways, very different to our own. Technology has advanced considerably, and electric wires snake across the country and wire up Britain's entire rail network. In addition to reopening older closed routes like Woodhead and increasing capacity on routes such as Standedge, the government has also enagaged in a large scale programme of building new railways. Following the success of High Speed 1 in 2007, more lines had been built. High Speed 2 had seen its first trains in 2027, with the extension to Glasgow opening in 2031. High Speed 3, cutting through the hills via the Pennine Base Tunnel, had opened in 2035, and High Speeds 4 and 5 were currently under construction. The upgrades to the existing lines have also incorporated in cab signalling on the fastest sections, allowing tilting trains to operate at speeds of up to 150 miles an hour.

But some things never do change, and the Island of Sodor was one of them. The Island had fiercely resisted change, remaining determined to be a time capsule of the way that things used to be. It would always be, in the words of Sir Toppham Hatt, a place for "proper engines hard at work, doing what they were built to do."

One morning in May, a family piled off of the class 1000 electric train at Barrow-in-Furness and transferred to the waiting Class 101 DMU, an incredibly old, venerable thing at nearly 90 years old. As it set off over the bridge and towards the Island of Sodor, we shall focus in on the family that joined the train.

The adults in the family were a much older Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry, who had married in the early 2020s. However, life had meant they had been unable to start their planned family until a fair bit later, and even now they only had one child. The child was a girl with pink skin and long, orange hair with yellow streaks in it, currently tied up in a ponytail. She had orange eyes, and wore a pair of black shoes, white socks, a yellow skirt and a pink blouse. Her name was Louise Denver, but she was normally referred to as Luster Dawn. She sat next to her mother, fidgeting, whilst Flash looked out of the window.

"What's wrong, honey?" Twilight asked Luster.

"I guess I'm a little nervous," Luster admitted. "I've never been to Sodor before, and it's a totally new environment! Not only that, we'll be here for the whole summer!"

"Yep!" Flash smiled. "I'm looking forward to getting back on the footplate. It's been too long since I last saw Toby."

Luster nodded, and looked at the floor. Twilight noticed this and spoke up. "Are you worried about being alone? My friends are bringing their families, I'm certain you can try with them."

"That's the problem!" Luster exclaimed. To describe Luster as socially awkward was an understatement. "You know I struggle to talk to people. When I try, I just clam up!" Her head went back against the headrest. "Maybe trying to make friends is just a massive waste of time."

"It's OK, maybe this time you'll get lucky!" Twilight told her. "You'll be fine, I know it."

"The next station is Vicarstown, where this train terminates. Please alight here for services to Crovan's Gate, Wellsworth for trains to Brendam, Knapford for trains to Ffarquhar, Tidmouth, and Arlesburgh. Thank you for travelling with the North Western Railway." The intercom cut out as the DMU stopped, and the passengers got off.

"Well, it's nice to see that Vicarstown hasn't changed much," Flash smiled. Apart from the addition of some digital station clocks, Vicarstown still retained its steam era atmosphere. Many steam and heritage diesel engines awaited departure or arrived from places far away.

"Hey, egghead! Over here!"

Twilight looked up to see her old friends standing nearby, considerably older but nontheless quite chipper. "And a good morning to you too, Rainbow Dash!" she called. "So, how's it been in the last 30 years?"

Whilst the adults talked amongst themselves, Luster went and sat down on a platform bench. She gazed absent mindedly at the roof as she waited for them to stop chatting.

"Hey, are you OK?" asked a voice. Luster looked up to see a boy with pale blue skin and short, prismatic hair looking at her. "You just seemed a little lonely, that's all." The boy was presumably a sports type, based on his blue shorts and T shirt combined with green trainers.

"I- I'm Luster Dawn," she said quietly.

The boy sat down next to her. "Typhoon Blast," he said. "Or Tom Bolton if you prefer. Rainbow Dash's my mom, but I bet my awesomeness more than gave that away."

Luster glanced over to him. "You're here for the reunion?"

"Yes I am!" Typhoon smiled. "I've never been to Sodor before, and this place looks awesome! Mom and dad used to work here!"

"As did mine," Luster said quietly. "See the woman with purple and blue hair?"

Typhoon's jaw dropped. "YOUR MOM IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?!"

"Is Typhoon bothering you?" asked another voice. Another boy, this time with blonde hair and yellow skin, wearing a work shirt and jeans with brown boots. "Sorry, he can be a bit of a problem at times."

"That's not fair, Thunder!" Typhoon replied, rolling his eyes. "Are you still annoyed I whooped your butt at soccer last month?"

"Honestly," 'Thunder' sighed, and walked over to Luster. "Thunderbolt. My real name's Tyson, but Thunder will do nicely."

Luster was on a roll. She had gone from no friends earlier today to two in less than 15 minutes. Maybe making friends was worth all the effort.

"Those two clearly inherited our old rivalry," Rainbow Dash said, walking over to the trio. "Go easy on her, Ty, OK?"

"Yes mom," Typhoon replied, sounding mildly annoyed.

"That applies ta you two, Thunder," added Applejack. "Ah don't want this reunion spoiled by petty rivalry."

"You can talk, darling!" Rarity, now much older and with a few grey hairs in amongst her purple ones, chimed in. "Blueblood and I had a frightful time securing acommodation on this island!"

Another two girls joined them. One of them had white skin and yellowy hair, and dressed very similarly to her mother in a blue blouse and skirt. The other had yellow skin, green hair (that was long), and wore a short sleeved shirt, shorts, and a pair of sandals.

"So you must be Luster Dawn," said the first. "My name's Charity."

"I'm Blue Angel," said the other. "See Fluttershy over there?"

"We know," Thunder said. "She's your mom. Charity is Rarity's kid."

"Well, it's nice to meet you all," Luster smiled.

"Excuse me everyone!" called a voice. Gallus, now the station master at Vicarstown and suitably attired, appeared on the platform. "The special's ready to go whenever you are."

Twilight walked over to see the kids talking to one another, all discussing their interests. "Come on, you six!" she said. "It's time to go!" She then looked. "Luster, are you OK?"

Luster looked up. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my friends."

The train, pulled by Gordon, set off promptly, and soon they were exploring all the places where their adventures had happened.

"This is the tunnel where Henry was shut in," Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"And where Gordon burst his safety valve!" Applejack added.

"Don't remind me," Rainbow Dash sighed.

Having left Ballyhoo Tunnel, they then sped onwards over to Crovan's Gate, and past the junction where Thomas had his near miss with Electra. At Crovan's Gate works, facing onto the mainline, Sandbar and his wife Ocellus waved to the passing train, their two kids also there and waving merrily, alongside a man identified by Rainbow Dash as 'Oliver'.

"Many things happened here," Twilight smiled. "Amongst them, James pushed Toby to the works!"

"And Ocellus met Skarloey," Fluttershy pointed out. "That friendship really helped boost her confidence."

James charged through with a passenger train. "Express coming through!"

"That's my line!" shouted Gordon. "Oh, the indignity."

They then passed through Maron, and then up Gordon's Hill, where Gordon had got stuck all those years ago, and down into Wellsworth, where Edward whistled to the train as it sped through. Soon, they passed Knapford Junction, where many adventures had begun and ended, and at last arrived at Knapford, where Sir Steven Toppham Hatt (who had succeeded his late grandfather to the baronetcy) had organised a special party for the returning crews, with all the engines in attendance.

"I," he said, "was only a small boy when they were the drivers of the North Western. They did our railway proud, and Sodor is still a marvellous place to be. But, sadly, there are those who worked on the North Western who are either no longer with us, or couldn't make it today either through illness or geography."

The station fell silent for two minutes.

Once the two minute silence was over, there was the sound of a party popper being triggered, and Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared with a man with yellow skin and brown hair. 30 years of age hadn't diminished her energy one bit, and a girl with red skin and mixed brown and pink hair was with them.

"Great to meet you!" said the man. "I'm Charles Sanders, or Cheese Sandwich. Pinkie's my wife, and this is our daughter Cherry Pie!"

"Hello!" Cherry exclaimed, bouncing over to the other kids. "This is so much fun!"

Luster looked up at her mother as Thomas puffed into the platform. "You know, maybe this whole friendship thing isn't as hard as I thought it was."

"Friendships aren't easy," Twilight replied. "People fall out- we had a fair few of those 30 years ago- but no matter what, if we all stick together and work at the issues at hand, we can accomplish anything. Believe me, I was in the same place you were in a while ago."

Music suddenly started playing.

"Oh dear," said Gordon. "Is this now a musical?"

"When I started out, I was unsure
I thought I knew all that I needed, didn't know what to expect!
But when my walls came down, I saw the truth;
All along something was missing-
And I think you'll see it, too!

"This is where the magic happens,
This is where the magic lives!
Our friendships weave together stronger,
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer;
And the greatest spell you'll know
Is how the Magic of Friendship grows!"

Pinkie Pie and Percy, the latter of whom had suddenly appeared on a mail train, suddenly interrupted.

"And no matter how much time goes by
The party will still be here with some fun new games to try!"

Gordon and Rainbow Dash, the former having backed off his train and into a siding, took over the next lines.

"Big adventure's waiting, obviously!
Long as we're still here together
We'll be flying happily!"

Swept along by the emotion of the moment, and inexplicably all knowing the lyrics, everybody joined in.

"This is where the magic happens,
This is where the magic lives!
Our friendships weave together stronger,
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer;
And the greatest spell there is
What the Magic of Friendship gives!"

Edward arrived in the depot, and then he and Applejack took over singing responsibilities.

"And it's somethin' true to pass on down
To generations yet to come!"

Followed by James and Rarity;

"And we'll never stop believing in
The generosity of the friendships we've won!"

Henry pulled forward, and he and Fluttershy were on the next verse.

"And because the love that I feel
For every single living creature is something that is real;
Friendship happens so naturally!"

Thomas backed up with Annie and Clarabel, and he and Twilight launched into the final part.

"Oh, and how I used to wonder-"

(Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh...)

"What friendship could be!"

Then, unbeknownst to all assembled, the faces and profiles of all they had known and seen through these adventures flashed behind them.

Edward, Henry, Gordon, Bright Mac Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Sir Toppham Hatt, Thomas, Twilight Sparkle, James, Rarity, Annie and Clarabel, Terence, Big Mac, Bertie, Spike, Percy, Pinkie Pie, Toby, Flash Sentry, Stephen and Bridget Hatt, Lady Hatt, the policeman, Mrs Kyndley, Her Majesty the Queen, Trevor, Pear Butter, Grand Pear, Ocellus, Skarloey, Agnes, Ruth, Jemima, Lucy, and Beatrice, Mr Percival, Sir Handel, Gallus, Peter Sam, Silverstream, Mrs Cake, Apple Bloom, Duck, Harold, Soarin', Royal Scot, Valley Glamour, Jinty, Pug, City of Truro, Fancy Pants, Diesel, Silver Spoon, Rusty, Sandbar, Duncan, Smoulder, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Donald, Douglas, the Brake Van, Night Light, Twilight Velvet, Shining Armour, Daisy, Trixie, George, Cozy Glow, Rheneas, Yona, Stepney, Sweetie Belle, Caroline, Class 40, Upper Crust, Sci-Twi, Culdee, Godred, Sunny Flare, Mr Richards, Catherine, Ernest, Jet Set, Wilfred, Sour Sweet, Lord Harry/No 6/Patrick, Sugarcoat, Alaric, Indigo Zap, Eric, Lemon Zest, Neil, Rockhoof, Mr Starswirl, Bill and Ben, Babs Seed, Sunflower Seed, Boco, Filthy Rich, Rex, Pipsqueak, Bert, Featherweight, Mike, Twist, Spitfire, Flying Scotsman, D7101, D199, Cinch, Oliver, Isabel, Toad, Scootaloo, Dulcie, Mirabel, Snap Shutter, Mane Allgood, Scruffey, Bulgy, Gilda, Duke, Cheerilee, Mavis, Diamond Tiara, Diesel 10, Sunset Shimmer, Stellar Flare, Caramel, On Time, Storm King, Autumn Blaze, Splatter, Dodge, Suri Polomare, Coco Pommel, Sombra, Tempest Shadow (RIP), Juniper Montage, Meadowbrook, Lady, 'Arry, Bert, Electra, Thorax, Cyril the Fogman, Murdoch, Vinyl Scratch, Derek, Octavia, Thumper, Cranky, Celestia, Luna, the Flying Banana, Amersham, Pharynx, Luster Dawn, Typhoon Blast, Thunderbolt, Blue Angel, Charity, Cheese Sandwich, and last (but most certainly not least) Cherry Pie.

Whilst all these images were flashing through the scene, these words were sung by all;

"This is where the magic happens (where the magic happens)
This is where the magic lives! (where the magic lives!)
Our friendships weave together stronger;
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer!
And the greatest spell you'll know! (you'll know!)
Is how the Magic of Friendship grows!"

Then Twilight finished on her own.

"How the Magic of Friendship grows..."

As Twilight watched her daughter and her new friends chatting, eventually heading off to play with one another, Thomas smiled. And all were happy on the Island of Sodor, the Magical Land where Dreams came True.

Author's Note

Well, this is it. I'd always conceived this collection as a trilogy, and ending the story 30 years on seemed so fitting to show how, ultimately, the Magic of Friendship never Dies. Not to mention that The Last Problem did such a beautiful job of rounding off the show (irrespective of what some users here think).

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my work over the last few months or so, and I wish for the Magic of Friendship to always live inside you.

One last thing to do before we bring this adventure to an end. Roll credits!

Double Teething Troubles

One place on Sodor that was barely affected by the actions of Diesel 10 was the china clay pits. They continued on with their work, day in and day out. Bill and Ben were kept especially busy that day, and the heat and the dirt resulted in the two saddle tanks becoming cranky and tired with one another.

This reached a head one morning, when they sat in front of a line of trucks. "That's my line of trucks!" Bill grumbled.

"No it's not, it's mine!" Ben shot back. "Yours is over there!"

"That's ridiculous!" Bill snorted. "They are mine!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"ARE NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

Boco rattled to a stop with some empties to hear the argument, and sighed. "If you two don't stop arguing all you'll have is-"

Moments later, Bill and Ben both rocketed forward at the same time, crashing into each other and derailing in the proces.

"-trouble."

Filthy Rich sighed. "We need to get Mavis in here. She and Diamond would get this place in order in no time."

Seconds later, Babs and Sunflower Seed emerged from the rest house, only to see the carnage before them. "Just what we needed!" Sunflower grumbled.

"Anybody seen the derailin' kit?" Babs asked.

"The rerailing kit?" said the voice of Sir Toppham Hatt, making a flying visit.

"It wasn't my fault!" Ben shouted. "It was Bill who started moving first!"

"No it's not, it was Ben! HE started moving first!"

"Quiet!" Sir Toppham Hatt boomed. "Behave, or you can sit in your sheds for today." He cleared his throat. "Now then, I have acquired another engine to help out here, a diesel. He's new (or the newest I could find), and somewhat inexperienced, but keen to make a good impression, so please do help him in any way you can." He walked back to his car.

Boco frowned. "Doing your jobs correctly would be a good start," he sighed.

"Easy for you to say!" Bill shot back. "You're on the track!"

Sir Toppham Hatt turned his back to the carnage. "I hope the new diesel's OK," he sighed. "Derek's bound to have problems."

He was right. A diesel with two long bonnets and a central cab was trying to ascend Gordon's Hill. "Grease and oil! This hill is very steep; Heavens know how my engines will cope!"

"Keep steady on the throttle and we ought to be fine," said his driver.

But then, moments later, it happened. There was a loud pop, followed by a bang, and then his engines cut out, followed by smoke pouring from the rear engine housing.

"That's torn it!"

His driver hopped out of the cab and took a look. She was a girl with greyish skin and long black hair, complemented by a a pair of purple eyes. She wore a white formal short sleeved shirt with a purple bow tie, a purple waistcoat, a purple skirt with a symbol of a treble cleff on it, and a pair of black formal shoes, above which sat a pair of white long socks. She walked along the side of the engine, and took a look.

"That's worse than I can repair here," she said, in a clipped British accent. "I'll have to telephone for help. Stay there, Derek!"

"I can't exactly go anywhere," the diesel replied.

About 15 minutes later, Boco came to a stop with the tool coach.

"Terribly sorry, old chap," Derek said. "It's these Paxman engines, you see, they don't cope well with steep gradients. Nice to see you again, Boco!"

"And you too, Derek," Boco replied. "I did enjoy that gala at Chinnor. I know how it feels to be non standard; the Class 28s were completely rebuilt with new engines, and even then British Rail withdrew us after five years. Who's your driver?"

The girl spoke up. "I'm Olivia Clairmont," she replied. "But I prefer Octavia."

"Octavia?" asked Filthy Rich. "I believe I've seen you play with the Knapford Symphony Orchestra!"

"2nd cello," Octavia replied. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir."

"Call me Rich," Filthy Rich replied. "Now then, shall we get to work on fixing the engine?"

News of Derek's breakdown soon spread across the island. "Apparently," Thomas said to Percy, "it's teething troubles associated with his design."

Percy, naturally enough, got this information confused. As Bill and Ben puffed into the docks with some loaded trucks, he raised his voice. "Good luck, you two! That new diesel's got toothache!"

"What?" Babs asked.

"Why does Percy want to wish us luck?" Bill asked, confused.

"Because we'll need it," Ben said grimly. "I don't know what the world's coming to. A diesel with toothache? That must be a nightmare!"

Seconds later, Sunflower got a text on her phone. "Orders from management," she said. "Leave the trucks here and remain at the dock overnight for a rest. Remember the oranges."

"What?" Babs asked.

"I think he meant engines and his phone autocorrected."

That night, they rested alongside Duck. "What's wrong?" the big pannier tank asked.

"It's that new diesel!" Bill said. "He's got toothache!"

Duck laughed. "No, no. Some wires have got crossed somewhere. He has teething troubles, which means he's having technical problems. In this case, it's his engines, as they don't receive enough air to cool them down. They had the exact same problem on the Class 50s, if I recall correctly."

The next morning, the twins and their drivers waited at the quarry for the diesel. They had a heavy train to take to the docks. Moments later, an unfamiliar horn echoed through the yard.

"Great, it's the new diesel!"

Moments later, Derek rolled to a stop. "Good morning!" he said. His politeness caught the twins off guard. "I'm here to help you with your trucks. I suggest you take the front, and I'll bank from the rear. That sound good?"

"If anything, it would minimise the disruption caused by potential engine problems," Octavia said quietly. Once the engines were in place, they set off up the hill out of the quarry. At first, all was going well, both tank engines snorting on the front, and Derek's twin diesel engines roaring on the back.

"Come on, push harder!" Ben shouted.

"Put yer back inta it!" Sunflower added.

But Derek couldn't push any harder. He was close to exceeding his safe operational amp limit. Diesel electric locomotives can only be operated at full power for a limited period, or else the engines will begin to overheat. Warning lights came on in his cab.

"This isn't good," Octavia said. Moments later, a series of very loud bangs echoed, followed by the sound of electric discharge. Derek's engines cut out once again.

"Oh dear," he said. "I appear to have flashed over."

"Isn't this just great!" Ben complained. "This diesel is deadweight now!"

"We'll have to move both the train and Derek!" Babs commented. "Can you do it?"

"We'll jolly well try," Bill answered.

And they did. They got the train to the harbour, and Derek was dropped off in a siding so that a fitter could look at him. Later on, Sir Toppham Hatt came to visit them. "Jolly good work!" he said. "Sadly, Derek's engines have flashed over, so I've sent him to have some Rolls-Royce engines fitted instead. Can you four manage without him?"

"We'll try our best!" Ben exclaimed.

Derek has become a regular member of the China Clay pit fleet. With his BR Green livery and crests, he stands out immediately, and his politeness marks him out amongst most diesels. He is also very eager to help, although his reliability issues do get in the way sometimes. Octavia, on the other hand, is living with Vinyl Scratch on the island. Who knows what music they'll come up with?

Author's Note

The Class 17 was plagued by problems almost from the start. The centre cab severely reduced visibility, and the twin Paxman engines fitted to the engines were very unreliable. Only one survives today, preserved at the Chinnor and Princes Risborough Railway.

Today also marks the 75th anniversary of the publication of The Three Railway Engines, the first book of the Railway Series.

No Help at All

Bill and Ben were, as usual, causing chaos in the China Clay pits. This left Derek, the only diesel on their books, to do the bulk of the work, and as he rattled to a stop with a rake of loaded trucks, Bill and Ben were busy arguing.

"But it's your turn to take the trucks, Bill!" said Ben.

"But I took the empty trucks back the last time, Ben!" retorted Bill.

"Did not!"

"DID TOO!"

Babs shook her head in frustration. "And people wonder why we get nothin' done."

"Exactly!" said Octavia, as she brought Derek to a stop. "This quarry is only as productive as its least productive member."

"What are you implying?" asked Bill.

"She," Derek said sternly, "is implying that you two should stop messing about and get on with your work. Instead of arguing about who should take the trucks, take them back with you to Brendam together. How does that sound?"

A grin spread across Ben's face. "OK then!" he laughed, as Babs and Sunflower took the controls of their respective engines. "Last one back to the tunnel takes the trucks!" Both engines zoomed off, laughing.

"DEREK!"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Those two engines are incredibly frustrating. I just hope Lady is having a better time."

Unfortunately, Lady was having trouble of her own. She was pulling empty trucks under the hopper to be loaded, a messy, difficult job at the best of times. Today, there was a lot of excess dust in the air, and Lady was having difficulty seeing what she was doing. Suddenly, Bill and Ben coupled up behind and pulled her back as the next load of rocks was starting to be dropped, causing it to fall all over the track.

"What in the?" Lady asked. "Who did that?"

Sunset looked behind her to see the source of the problem. "Great, you two again," she grumbled. "You're not very helpful, you know that?"

Bill and Ben spluttered like beatboxers whilst Derek arrived to help pull away the mess. The diesel sighed. "I'm used to them," he said, rolling his eyes again. "You could say they are no help at all."

"That's puttin' it mildly," Sunflower added, as she uncoupled Ben.

"I can't believe you, of all people, would say such a thing!" Ben exclaimed, shocked. "My own driver too!"

"You lot are no fun at all!" Bill added, and both engines puffed away fuming, determined to get their own back.

Octavia leaned out of Derek's cab to talk with Sunset. "Apart from those two, how is your working holiday on Sodor?"

"It's great!" Sunset replied. "It's a nice change from the Nottingham suburbs, let me tell you. Not that I don't like them, but it's nice to get a change of scenery once in a while."

"It's relatively quiet here," Octavia admitted, "assuming Vinyl isn't blasting music from her dishwasher again."

At Knapford, Sir Toppham Hatt paced up and down the platform. "Oh dear," he said. "We're in a right pickle. I never thought I'd say this Thomas, but we need another engine."

"Another engine?" Thomas asked. "But we already have so many!"

"And barely enough people to crew them!" Twilight added.

"I know," Sir Toppham Hatt sighed. "But we're really in a tight spot here. Diesel's engine fault still hasn't been fixed, Murdoch is having a bottom end repair to have his traction tires replaced, and Mavis is occupied at the Ffarquhar Quarry. Only now the docks are busy again with only one engine to manage them. Poor Boco's being rushed off his wheels!"

Moments later, Bill and Ben passed through light engine, overhearing this, and stopped. "Why not send Derek to the docks, sir?" Ben suggested. "Then we can have some fun," he added quietly.

"We don't need his help most days," Bill said. "In fact, most days he's no help at all."

"Wait, what? No he is-" Sunflower was unable to finish her sentence before Bill and Ben set off again, laughing.

Thomas smiled. "They're just being silly sir," he said. "Derek, despite his engine problems, is a really hard worker."

"Then sending him to the docks will be a good idea after all," Sir Toppham Hatt smiled.

At the docks, Boco was working very hard. Despite being a Type 2, the workload was very heavy indeed, as cargo was constantly being loaded and unloaded. Cranky and Big Mickey were constantly offloading freight from the big ships at the quay, when a horn blast caught their attention.

"Ah, Derek, you're here at last!" Boco smiled. "I've been looking forward to working with you again. I hope you don't mind hard work!"

"Hard work is, after all, the model of all prosperity," Filthy Rich added.

"Not in the slightest," Derek smiled. "Let's get to it!"

And so, both diesels got to work, moving trucks about into their proper places whilst disembodies voices sang in the background.

Later on, Sir Toppham Hatt arrived to see how things were going. Cranky was cheerful, which was a change from the norm. "Derek is excellent, sir!" he said. "I've never seen an engine work so hard or so diligently!"

"He's not the most powerful diesel in the world," added Boco, "but he's very efficient."

"Excellent," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "I must thank Bill and Ben for suggesting you work here."

"What?" Octavia asked. "Those two suggested the idea?"

"Err, yes," replied Sir Toppham Hatt. "They said you were no help at all."

"Did they now," Derek fumed. He dreaded the worst had happened at the quarry.

The situation at the clay pits was worse than Derek feared. Lady struggled to move a fully loaded line of trucks up the hill to the marshalling yards, the trucks groaning and resisting the entire way. "Bill! Ben!" she called. "I can't do all the work myself. These trucks are completely full. In fact, they are very full. No, they are too full! They're overflowing!"

"Indeed!" said a nearby brake van. "The load in those trucks in 6 millimetres too high-"

"What's that in inches?" Lady asked.

"0.24 of an inch, rounded to two decimal places," Sunset replied.

Meanwhile, Bill and Ben were bashing trucks about. "It's your turn!" Bill said.

"No it's not, it's yours!" Ben replied, and dodged out of the way of an oncoming truck that tipped over.

"Oops."

"Buck up, you two!" Babs snapped. "The longer you two prat around, the bigger this mess gets!"

"I know," Bill sighed. "But do you know who's not helping, Babs?"

"Who?"

"Derek!" and both steam engines began laughing.

Lady sighed. "And to think I could be giving children brake van rides at Rushcliffe Halt right now. How is this my life?"

Bill and Ben arrived at the docks to see Derek looking very grumpy. "I was wondering when you two scallywags would show up," he fumed.

"Careful you don't pop your valves," said Ben, in a snarky way. "But we need your help."

"That's an understatement," Sunflower muttered under her breath.

"The clay pits are a complete mess!" Bill added.

"Boco still needs help," Derek replied. "I'll come as soon as I can, but you two really need to get your act together."

"I agree," Boco sighed, as he moved another line of trucks into place. "You should work together instead of constantly arguing."

"Fine!" Bill snapped. "Be like that!"

"But if the yard is in a big mess," Ben added, "you'll know whose fault that is. Yours!" And both engines sped away, laughing.

A few days later, Murdoch was back in traffic, and assisted in clearing up Tidmouth docks, whilst Derek returned to the pits, dreading what he would find there.

It was absolute chaos. Everywhere, loaded and empty wagons were strewn and tossed about like toys, whilst Bill and Ben sat in the middle of their kingdom of chaos.

"If Derek's not helping, I'm not helping," Bill said.

"Me neither," added Ben.

Babs and Sunflower had given up trying to get them under control, and stood off to the side fuming.

"BILL AND BEN!"

Both engines jumped when they heard that voice, as Sir Toppham Hatt walked over, fuming. "What is going on here? How did this place end up in such a mess?"

"It's that Derek sir!" Bill said. "He refused to come back after we asked for help!"

"What?" Sir Toppham Hatt asked. "You two suggested Derek go to the docks, as he was, and I quote, 'no help at all'!"

"Basically, sir," Babs interrupted, "these two lied and said they didn't need help to get Derek sent away so they could muck about. We tried to get them under control, but this mess is too big for us to clean."

"It wasn't my fault," said Bill, glaring at Babs with a look that said 'traitor'. "And if Judas here had kept her mouth shut, it wouldn't be. It was Ben!"

"What? My fault?" Ben said. "It's yours! You said Derek was no help at all!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

DID TOO!"

"ENOUGH!" boomed Sir Toppham Hatt. "Babs, Sunflower, get to these two ruffian's controls, and get this mess cleaned up. Both of you engines need to start pulling your weight."

That proved to be easier said than done, as Bill and Ben crashed into several sets of jammed wagons. Suddenly, a familiar horn sounded in the distance, as Derek coasted to a stop.

"Hello, you two," he smiled. "How did this place end up in such a mess? Oh well, let's get it cleaned up rather than play the blame game. Are you ready, you two?"

Moments later, Murdoch puffed into view, loud music blaring from a stereo on his footplate. Moments after that, Boco came to a stop.

"Murdoch! Boco!" Bill and Ben called. "Thanks for helping us out!"

"No problem," Murdoch replied. "The sooner we get this lot cleaned up, the better."

"After all," Vinyl shouted, "isn't that what friends are for?"

In no time at all, the clay pits were back to normal. Bill and Ben still occassionally joke about, but they know better than to make big messes now!

Author's Note

In British English, it is common to refer to someone perceived to have betrayed either a group or a set of ideals as 'Judas', in reference to the Biblical character.